The Accursed Mountebanks Weekly #3

n i s s ue3 t he“ bas ebal l ”i s s ue 1 5WAYSTO PLEASEYOUR MAN • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • SAND!SO MUCH SAND EVERYWHERE! • • • • • • • • • • • • • WHERE’ S WALDO?

Fr om t he“ Lef tOv erFr om St .

Pat r i ck’ sDay ”Fi l e:

Iwi s h t h eb a n d Ac eo f Ba s s h a d n ’ tt u r n e do u t t ob eNa z i s .

It h i n ka b o u t t h e s o n g“ IS a wt h eS i g n ”o na s e mi d a i l yb a s i s .I two u l db e ft h e ywe r eAlQa e d a , i t b e t t e ri wo u l db eb e t t e r .Atl e a s tt h a t ’ s c r a z ye n o u g ht h a ti two u l d n ’ tb e a b l et or e g i s t e r .Bu tNa z i s ?Mo v i e s h a v eb e e nt e a c h i n gmet oh a t eNa z i s mywh o l el i f e .

Th a tb e i n gs a i d , Ir e a l l y d i gt h a ts o n g .

I ’ mg o i n gt ol i s t e nt oi t r i g h tn o w, a c t u a l l y .

Y R O ST A

PO OP

S kyt ake st heS o ul•T hePro c l ai me rs//T hi s T i meT o mo rro w •T heKi nks//Ho c usPo c us• F o c us//Onc eBi t t e n, T wi c eS hy•I anHunt e r// MamboS un•T .Re x // Be atD o wn•Mi s t e r He av e nl y//Rac eo fD o o m •D E V O//88L i ne s Abo ut4 4Wo me n•T heNai l s//S .

O. B.•Nat hani e lRat e l i f f&T heNi ghtS we at s//T heBe s t E v e rD e at h Me t al Band i nD e nt o n•T he Mo unt ai nGo at s

Onc emo re ,Ic o met ot hepo i nti nt hei s s ue t hatIf e e lImus tre mi ndyo uo ft hi sf ac t : T hi s e nt i reri gamaro lwasputt o ge t he rbyD o ug D ri e s e lJr.T hatd ud ec anbef o und@d o ugd ri e s e l jro nmo s to ft hes o c i al sandi fyo uwant t os e emo reo ft he s et hi ngs ,c he c ko uto ur f ac e bo o kpageatF B. c o m/T he Ac c urs e d Mo unt e banks .Ige ti t .YOu’ reabus ype rs o nandyo u d o n’ thav eal o to ft i met ogoo nl i neandc he c k t hi ngso ut .T hat ’ swhyyo uhav eanas s i s t ant .

I ’ l lt al kd i re c t l yt ot hat as s i s t ant ,no w.

T hankyo uf o ryo urt i me .D ud e .He y,ho w’ si t go i ng? Ye ah,t hatguy wasa re aljaggo f f .

Ho wd oyo uwo rkf o rhi m?Ha!Ikno w,ri ght ?

S ay,l i s t e n.D o meas o l i d .Goc he c ko utt hi s s t uf fo nl i ne .I t ’ sc rac ke rjac ks t uf f .Oh,what e l s ec anwet al kabo ut ?Ho w’ st hef ami l y?

What ?!S e ri o us l y1 ? Whe nt he he l ld i dT HAT happe n? T ue s d ay! ? Ijus tt al ke dt ohe ro n t ue s d ay!Oh,man.What a bumme r.Ic an’ t be l i e v es hes t e ppe do nac rac kandbro kehe r mo t he r’ sbac k.It ho ughtt hatwasa wi v e s t al e ,buthe reweare .Yo ut e l lmet hatt hi s hashappe ne d ,andIhav eno c ho i c ebutt o be l i e v eyo u.We l l ,anyway,ge to nc he c ki ng t hats t uf fo ut .I ’ v ego tmo rei s s ue so ft hi s c rapupo nt hef ac e bo o kpage .C rapi sf un!