A Stand-Up Contest on an Unconventional Stage

Amber Cherry Columnist

What do the CEO of Glossier, physics professor Patrick Johnson and Georgetown University’s funniest human have in common? They have all spoken in the Intercultural Center’s Auditorium! With a capacity of 349 velvet-lined navy chairs, the ICC Auditorium has hosted a number of events — including the Feb. 24 Funniest Human standup comedy show.

Hosted by Georgetown Program Board, the annual event features numerous undergraduate contestants and is free to attend on a first-come, first-serve basis. The line snaked out the door thirty minutes before the show started, and people in line anxiously counted those in front of them to see if they would be able to get a seat.

Once everyone was in the door, emcee Harrison Lee (SFS ’23), opened with a Pedro Pascal quote, a story about a failed attempt to spit out gum and a call for audience participation. The first comedian Lee introduced was Dane Tedder (CAS ’24). Tedder took the stage with a long sigh that ended in a tentative hello. He admitted that he was nervous and explained that he has anxiety, which renders conversations harrowing. He then launched into an anecdote about an awkward encounter he had with a classmate, during which he ran away only to end up going in the same direction as the classmate. Tedder’s demeanor mirrored that of comedian John Mulaney (COL ’04), but with a wearier, yet still hilarious, edge.

Next up was Eli Blumenfeld (CAS ’25), who came out yelling “WASSUP GEORGETOWN!” Blumenfeld’s set, which alluded to his Oedipus complex and compared bread dough to touching a woman, yielded a few uncomfortable chuckles from the audience.

Following Blumenfeld was Daria FarmanFarmaian (SFS ’23), who also spoke about her stage fright, revealing that she hadn’t pooped in three days. Throughout her set, she opened up about her physical and mental health, inspiring the audience with her tale of perseverance and self-betterment.

Zan Haq (SFS ’24) followed Farman-Farmaian with a story about how he thought Obama was his uncle when he was younger. Upon discovering Obama is not an Arab, Haq joked that he landed on Osama bin Laden as his next role model because “no other Arab has broken more glass ceilings in this country.” Haq’s witty tone took the edge off his risque 9/11 jokes, earning many chuckles from the audience.

Next up was John Matuszewski (SFS ’25), who opened by sarcastically joking about “drowning