JAMES MALONEY

“Remember that stress doesn’t come from what’s going on in your life. It comes from your thoughts about what’s going on in your life.”

- Andrew J. Bernstein

Friends, I ain’t telling you how to live, perhaps think instead about changing lanes. Move over to the slow lane, hang out with some turtles.

When you are overwhelmed with a to-do-list that is growing at the rate of Popeye Chicken franchises in Ontario, and reaching the summit of Mt. Kilimanjaro, it’s time to stop and take a pause.

You are STRESSED!

How are you best going to diffuse this moment before you explode like Canada Day fireworks? We can’t eliminate stress from our lives, no matter how hard we try, but we can become resilient to stress.

We can take control of our thoughts that are contributing to sometimes feeling like a whirling dervish about to take flight.

Stress is a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances.

Stress can be heightened by a situation out of your comfort zone.

By training yourself to become more resilient to stress, you will reduce your level of stress by understanding the situation, your abilities, and options.

You will become calm as a baby at rest, objective as a judge, practical as a good theory, proactive as a politician, oriented on solutions, and not on problems. You get the drift.

Stop overthinking and panicking! Instead, start observing and assessing then seeking solutions that lead to action. Anything less is a missed opportunity for growth.

Reframing the situation is one way of changing the way you look at something and, thus, changing your experience of it.

It can turn a stressful event into either something highly traumatic or a challenge to be overcome bravely. Or it can depict a really bad day as a mildly low point in an overall wonderful life. Or it can see a mistake as a learning experience. Catch yourself when you’re slipping into negative and stress-inducing patterns of thinking. Are your thoughts true? Is what you’re telling yourself even true?

Adopt thoughts that fit your situation AND reflect a more positive outlook.

When you’re looking at a potentially stressful situation, see if you can view it as a challenge versus something negative.

That’s the gist of reframing - it can have a major impact on your experience of stress. Changing the way you look at your life can truly change your life.

Who knows, you may end up like Nicole Kidman portraying Lucille Ball in the recently released “Being the Ricardos”.

Spending too much time focusing on trying to climb the proverbial mountain of things to do contributes to anxiety and stress.

So back to building resilience to stress – if by using the Loreal skin care line, you can increase your skin’s resilience – anything is possible.

The stress is just in our heads.

AMANDA KIRKLAND

Personal Development Coach www.amandakirkland.com

I am passionate about my work because I’ve experienced first-hand the life-changing results and shifts possible when working with the unconscious mind.

If you are interested in making positive changes in your life, let’s book an initial consultation call. Tell me your story and we can evaluate where you are right now and where you want to be and identify what’s blocking you from achieving the results you desire.

My coaching programs use specific ENLP tools the can rewire unhealthy strategies and break through existing challenges to find more ease and joy in your life. These tools are different because they uncover the root cause of surfacelevel problems. We will clear these blocks at the unconscious and cellular level allowing you to see effective results over a short time.

Email me at amanda@amandakirkland.com or visit www.amandakirkland.com to connect! CANADA

Demystifying the Sports of Hunting & Fishing

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Health and wellness is about personal change. Without the readiness to change, no tip, trick or article will help you achieve the level of health or wellness that you want. The underlying assumption here is that you are not at the level of health and/or wellness that you want to be at, so to get there, something must change. At the start of a new year, during a time when new starts and the interest to change are fresh in our collective minds, how can you make the change that you want seem less daunting and more achievable? I used to think that making changes and new habits was hard. I’m going to share with you the principles that you can evaluate the topic of change that you want and break it down simply so you can start moving and taking action.

The model of Logical Levels by George Bateson and Robert Dilts is a way to evaluate and breakdown the various factors that affect a particular change that you want to make. This model describes a hierarchy of six interrelated levels: 1. Purpose; 2. Identity; 3. Beliefs and Values; 4. Capabilities; 5. Behaviours; and 6. Environment. Changes on the higher levels almost always result in changes on the lower levels. Changes on the lower levels may affect the higher levels, but the magnitude of that effect is much smaller.

Starting at the level of Environment, this has the least amount of influence on the changes that we want to make, and also is the easiest to change; however, many people get stuck on this level. Environment is everything external to yourself, including physical location, the people that you spend time with, and the thoughts, feelings, and opinions of others about you. One of the most common manifestations of getting stuck on this level is finding external reasons that a change does not stick. If the reason a change doesn’t happen is because of something external, then you are stuck on blaming your environment for the inability to achieve your goals. Ask yourself “what can I change about my external environment to move me towards my goal?” Behaviours are often the focus of change through instilling new habits as a means to make changes stick. From a 2009 study in the European Journal of Social Psychology, it was found that it takes an average of 66 days for a new habit to become automatic. Focusing only on behaviour can be a large time investment and success requires consistency. Luckily, there are other factors that can make this change easier. Improving your Capabilities will help make behaviour change easier. It’s easier to do something if you understand the why, how, and what to do.

Now we have arrived at the level of Beliefs and Values. This is the level that is easiest to explore and can have the most impact, if you are able to look critically and let go of beliefs and values that hold you back. Henry Ford was quoted as saying “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t - you’re right”. When you find that you’re telling yourself that you can’t do something, ask yourself “How is this belief serving you?”. Look carefully at your limiting beliefs and examine how much (or how little!) truth they hold.

What about your Identity? There is the level of your identity that is core to your being, and yet on another level, there are labels that you apply to yourself and mistakenly use that label as your identity. Consider someone who says “I am a smoker”. Is being a “smoker” an identity? Or is it a mislabeled shorthand description for someone who participates in the behaviour of smoking. If you consider yourself a “smoker”, then to continue being a smoker, you must smoke. This is an interesting example of having a behaviour define your identity, isn’t it?

Finally, your Purpose defines all that you do. This is not something that needs changing, but consider understanding your actions in the context of how it serves your higher purpose. When you understand the purpose that you hold, you can then consider how you can reframe your goals in a way that also Consider the goal or resolution that you have set for yourself this year. Where does the perceived barrier to your goal lie on this hierarchy, and how can you utilize the higher levels of this hierarchy to make change quicker and more effective?

Find Jon at jnthn.ca

Jonathan Nhan Co-Founder, Curate and Upgrade

Happy New Year!!

Ever wonder why new years resolutions never seem to stick? Seriously, more than half of resolutions set prior to a new year eventually fail. Mostly because we make big plans without a specific set of actions or steps to follow to help us be successful. Sure, it’s great to want to go to the gym more, or eat healthier, or quit smoking. But how can we make sure these lifestyle changes last more than the first weeks of 2022?

The key is just that; look at it as a lifestyle change, not a resolution. Stick with a SMART goal. Make sure your plan is Specific, clear and concrete rather than vague and open ended. Set a Measurement. Whether it’s a timeline, or a tracking method, find a way to hold yourself accountable. Check in to see if your goal is Achievable. Are the parameters you are setting yourself realistic? Ask yourself, is your goal Relevant? Does it really matter to you, and will it be something you want to stick with, or are you choosing a goal based on the pressures or trends of others? Finally, consider the Timeline. Make sure you are giving yourself enough time to achieve your goals, and perhaps break things down into smaller, more manageable steps. to announce some changes that will be occurring within my practice. Stay tuned for the February edition of this publication to learn more. Wishing you a safe and healthy start to 2022..

Talisa Haskins Registered Psychotherapist www.talisahaskins.com 905.960.4876