The Cascade Vol. 20 No. 32

Vol. 20 Issue. 32

www.ufvcascade.ca

November 28-Jan 7, 2012

Awkwardly ending conversations since 1993

Prepare Yourselves The end of the world (may) be coming p. 10-11

December 20, 2012

Abbotsford Mayor Banman one year in p. 5

December 21, 2012

Student tracking creeps into U.S. high schools p. 9

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WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 28, 2012

INSIDE THIS WEEK’S ISSUE Opinion

News

Arts & Life

Sports & Health

Holy Censorship, Batman!

AmPol: Canadian Politics Edition

Aphrodisiacs Anonymous

You Shall Be Missed

In a move that apparently no party is willing to take credit for, some controversial student artwork—featuring a naked woman and violent themes— was removed from C building earlier this month. Jess Wind, newshound extraordinaire, tries to track down who did it and why. Dare we say censorship?

Most German politicians have their PhD. Pretty impressive, nein? Well, think again! More than half a dozen of them are facing some scrutiny for plagiarism in their doctoral theses. That is nicht so güt. What’s more surprising is the number of Canadian politicians who don’t hold any post-secondary education whatsoever. Nein!

Nein! Nein!

Does eating an oyster really boost your libido? In this week’s Discussion Below the Belt, columnist Lady Oracle debunks commonly-held beliefs linking certain foods and an improved sex life and offers some culinary options that might just do the trick.

This week Kyle Balzer speaks with graduating UFV soccer teammates Donna Pinning and Chantelle Biagioni. Learn about these veteran players and what they have to say about their team, their coaches and their future plans.

pg. 4

pg. 7

pg. 16

pg. 18

EDITORIAL

Sean of the Dead NICK UBELS THE CASCADE

EIC’s journal. Date: February 10, 2013. Location: The Cascade offices. Abbotsford.

I can’t believe it’s come down to this. When we saw his first tweets, we doubted.: @CactoidSean: Superflu outbreak at SFU #barfipelago2? #zombies? @CactoidSean: Gettin’ hungry for brains #justkidding @CactoidSean: But seriously, anybody got any brains I can grill up?

We hoped against hope. But @CactoidSean was on the scene every step of the way. Every horrific step.

It was from ex-opinion editor Sean Evans that we first heard about the roving bands of walkers stalking Burnaby mountain.

He was only there on that fateful day, December 21, 2012, because of a registration error. But at the first whiff of trouble, his journalistic instinct kicked into overdrive. Like a young Anderson Cooper—in that trauma turned his hair suddenly and prematurely silver—Evans courageously sent daily dispatches along with the ragtag team of The Peak editors who had holed themselves up in the library. We tried to convince him to leave. We told him that time was running out. We even ponied up for a helivac, but he still refused to leave.

The last discernable text I received from his number: “I can’t.

The people have to know . . .”

Then came a jumble of charac-

ters, a bizarre code more confusing than a message from a teenager hopped up on Coca Cola and Jelly Bellys: “#yolo”.

That’s when we knew: the Sean Evans was no more. A couple hours later, another one of our contacts broke the news. Sean had gone for a walk and never came back.

In the next few weeks, dispatch after dispatch spoke of a terrible new scourge wreaking havoc across the GVRD. They called him, simply, Boxhead. This was no ordinary slow ambler: Boxhead formed a gang, he used logic and strategy to snare his prey.

And he was making his way east.

We first spotted one of his scouts snooping around AfterMath. Ironically, the formerly beleaguered campus pub was the only restaurant to survive the end of the Mayan calendar. Brad tipped us off. He’s not a man that tolerates walkers of any sort.

“Caught one of Boxhead’s guys,” he told lieutenant Joe Johnson. “You can tell because of the box . . . on his head.”

Lt. Johnson told me that Brad showed him the carcass: “It was wearing plaid and a bow tie.”

I suddenly realized exactly who we were dealing with. Joe itched at his eye patch. He didn’t need to say any more. I knew we were in trouble.

The few dozen survivors rallied at U-House for an emergency meeting. It was chaos. It put the infamous SUS EGM of November 28 to shame. People were shouting frenzied ideas, others were hurl-

Editor-in-chief nick@ufvcascade.ca Nick Ubels Managing editor amy@ufvcascade.ca Amy Van Veen Business manager joe@ufvcascade.ca Joe Johnson Online editor michael@ufvcascade.ca Michael Scoular Production manager stewart@ufvcascade.ca Stewart Seymour Art director anthony@ufvcascade.ca Anthony Biondi Copy editor joel@ufvcascade.ca Joel Smart News editor news@ufvcascade.ca Dessa Bayrock Opinion editor opinion@ufvcascade.ca Sean Evans Arts & life editor arts@ufvcascade.ca Sasha Moedt

Editor in chief Nick Ubels faces the undead. ing curses and insults, still others were predicting our certain doom when Boxhead’s hordes of checkered-shirt hipsters descended on campus. After hours of weary debate, newly-deputized Sheriff Amy Van Veen had a radical suggestion: a pre-emptive strike.

Twelve hours later, Cpt. Bayrock returned. She was minus two lost squad mates, but allimportant package in tow. She handed it to me and I made sure we had what we were looking for.

There it was: a weather-beaten iPhone 4S. We set a trap. Boxhead’s iPhone was hidden in plain sight in the spot he would first think to look: The Cascade offices. We decided

Image: Anthongy Biondi

it was safest to isolate him from the rest. Boxhead would be hopeless without his smart phone. We drew lots: Sheriff Van Veen, Cpt. Bayrock and I were chosen. The waiting game began.

Around 3 a.m., we heard a rustling near the newsdesk. Papers were being strewn this way and that. Boxhead picked up a chair and hurled it into the wall.

“NOW!” Amy shot the lights on to phase him for just a second. It was all we needed. I gripped the late Paul Esau’s old cricket bat with both hands and wound up.

“Goodbye, Sean.”

UPCOMING EVENTS Nov 30

Volume 20 · Issue 32 Room C1027 33844 King Road Abbotsford, BC V2S 7M8 604.854.4529

Nov 29

Nov 30-Dec 2

Dec 6

Tracks Across Sand film launch

Deck the halls!

Give up! It’s Christmas!

It’s time to crack open the Christmas movie archive

Canada Education Park is a happening place this semester! The latest event hosted in the black box theatre will be a film launch of Hugh Brody’s Tracks Across Sand. The mediator/author/linguist explores language and Bushman communities.

The film is just under 40 minutes long, and will play at 7 pm this Friday.

Literally. Come to UFV’s Alumni Hall and deck it.

There will be cocoa and holiday spirit a-plenty as you help put up garlands, baubles and decor, and finally judge gingerbread houses. Everyone is welcome. The action will be going down from 4 to 5:30 p.m. so be there or be square! (Hint: the Alumni Hall is where A&R is on Abby campus.)

May as well celebrate it – come out to the West Coast Christmas Show at the Tradex this weekend.

Friday 11am-9pm, Saturday 10am-6pm, Sunday 10am-5pm. Food, gifts, decorations, and music fill the air. $6 for adults, $5 for seniors, and tickets are good for the whole weekend. Maybe you’ll even see an elf!

Want to see a free showing of what is debatably Will Ferrell’s only good film? Sure you do! Come out to the Reach Gallery on Dec 6 at 2 pm for some feel-good adventures with Elf, the story of a human baby raised as an elf.

It’s hilarious. It’s adorable.

It’s Christmas. Start the month off right.

Sports editor sports@ufvcascade.ca Paul Esau News writer jess@ufvcascade.ca Jess Wind Photojournalist blake@ufvcascade.ca Blake McGuire Staff writers Karen Aney, Taylor Johnson, Nadine Moedt Contributors Trevor Braun, Brittni Brown, Mike Cadarette, Jeremy Hannaford, Adesuwa Okoyomon, Ryan Petersen, J. Timmer, Tim Ubels Printed By International Web exPress The Cascade is UFV’s autonomous student newspaper. It provides a forum for UFV students to have their journalism published. It also acts as an alternative press for the Fraser Valley. The Cascade is funded with UFV student funds. The Cascade is published every Wednesday with a circulation of 1500 and is distributed at UFV campuses and throughout Abbotsford, Chilliwack, and Mission. The Cascade is a member of the Canadian University Press, a national cooperative of 75 university and college newspapers from Victoria to St. John’s. The Cascade follows the CUP ethical policy concerning material of a prejudicial or oppressive nature.

Submissions are preferred in electronic format through e-mail. Please send submissions in “.txt” or “.doc” format only.

Articles and letters to the editor must be typed.

The Cascade reserves the right to edit submissions for clarity and length. The Cascade will not print any articles that contain racist, sexist, homophobic or libellous content. The writer’s name and student number must be submitted with each submission. Letters to the editor must be under 250 words if intended for print. Only one letter to the editor per writer in any given edition.

Opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect that of UFV, Cascade staff and collective, or associated members.

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 28, 2012

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NEWS

Arts Advice develops new peer mentoring program JESS WIND

THE CASCADE There is good news coming for new students within College of Arts programs – upper-level peer mentors.

Starting in January, the Arts Advice Centre will be hiring four strong upper-level students to be a part of their new peer mentoring program.

Each mentor will be matched up with as many as 10 mentees as they navigate university life, both academically and socially. They will be responsible for supporting, listening and responding to the individual needs of each of their students.

Elaine Newman, director for the Arts Advice Centre, explained this type of program provides new students with benefits in a specific area.

“While we can offer the professional academic advice to students . . . the peers can work with them on their own level,” she

said, adding that new students are often nervous approaching the arts advisors at first.

Newman assured that the mentors will not take the place of other resources on campus.

“The mentors won’t have access to [the mentee’s] personal information . . . that’s where advisors are still doing the advising on the academic side,” she explained. If support is needed beyond the role of the mentor, the student will be directed to the arts advisors or counselling centre.

The peer mentors will take part in ongoing training through weekly group sessions, and will meet with the arts advisors and the other mentors to reflect and learn from each other.

Nicholas Johnson, an arts advisor in the centre, believes it will be just as rewarding for the mentors as it will be for the mentees.

“I think that, ultimately, the mentor will learn at least as much as the mentee in going through the process,” he said. “It will probably be a transformative ex-

perience for [both students].”

He went on to speak to the uniqueness of the program.

“To be a peer mentor, you have to be successful in university . . . and [the role of the mentor] is not likely to be exclusively academic,” he said. This would set it apart from Supported Learning Groups on campus, which is another student-to-student program on campus designed to help students study.

It wasn’t as easy as deciding to implement a program, Newman explained. It took collaboration with multiple departments in the university as well as a search for external funding.

“I worked with the associate dean, Susan Fisher . . . in conjunction with the development office as to what the peer mentor program would be, just the general framework of it,” she explained.

External funders were then approached and the Royal Bank of Canada offered $20,000 to fund the program over the next two years.

In that time Newman and Johnson hope to see the program grow beyond four mentors into something ongoing.

“In the development of the program, part of the goal will be to . . . expand so that all first-year students have an opportunity to be connected with . . . a mentor,” Johnson said.

The program is still in the planning stages, and the Arts Advice Centre is still working out all the details.

“We’re building it from scratch,” Johnson said. “We don’t have an existing model to work from, but we’re really excited about it.”

Newman said there are a couple of ways they’ll let first-year students know about the program.

“We will be contacting them probably initially by email, but we will also be doing an advertising campaign indicating that we have this peer mentor program,” she said.

No mentors have been hired yet, but fourth-year history and

anthropology student Tom Funk learned about the opportunity from a post by history department head, Alisa Webb, on the UFV History Students Past and Present Facebook page. He has applied and hopes he will be one of the four mentors selected.

“In the future I plan on being a professor,” he said, “So this experience of helping . . . others in a subject I am incredibly passionate about is a bit of a dream.”

“I believe a program like this is a fantastic way to connect the older students with the young,” he continued. “I hope others take notice.”

Now well into his degree, Funk wishes a peer mentoring program had been available to him in his first years at UFV. “First year is always a difficult transition so I would have loved the opportunity to get a road map by a fourth-year student,” he explained. “It also helps to solidify an identity to the university.”

Human against zombie: can you survive the apocalypse?

Images by Blake McGuire

DESSA BAYROCK THE CASCADE

Every month, and sometimes more often, students gather in U-House to arm themselves with Nerf equipment in preparation for the upcoming battle between human and zombie. Their tagline: can you survive the apocalypse?

The game itself is simple: a large group of “humans” (usually in the neighbourhood of 30-40 students and their guests) goes into the night, armed with Nerf guns and their own courage, to hunt and be hunted by two or three students acting the role of “zombies.” If the zombies catch them, they become infected – and the force of zombies grows until UFV’s green is a free-for-all battle.

The last battle of the year happened this Friday, on a wet, dark and foggy night.

The battle raged in several rounds, starting at 5 p.m. and running until about nine.

Participants received odd looks from those on campus to attend UFV varsity games, as well as those gathered at AfterMath to rock out to the CIVL-sponsored punk show.

The only downside to the night was an incident in which a participant took a fall on concrete and hurt his knee. HvZ administrators could not confirm if he had broken, strained or fractured the limb.

Shane Potter, who is certified as the highest level of occupational first aid attendant and also as an emergency medical responder, serves as the medic for HvZ. There have been several injuries since the group formed, he said, but it’s something that comes with the territory.

“Whenever you get 40 or 50 people running around, like any sport, people will get hurt,” Potter stated. “Everyone is briefed on rules and safety before the games but like any activity things will happen.”

“To be honest,” Potter continued, “the HvZ admin team is very mature and safe – they have briefing sessions before every game and have people monitoring the games. I think they do an excellent job keeping people safe.”

The next HvZ game will take place in January, and Potter stated that the group will be reworking safety protocols over the winter break to help avoid and deal with similar injuries in the future.

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WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 28, 2012

NEWS

Student artwork on sexual abuse removed from public viewing JESS WIND

THE CASCADE

A student trying to create conversation around an uncomfortable topic didn’t factor in searching for her artwork as part of the process, which became a reality when it was removed from public display at Abbotsford Campus.

November 19 marked the last day of the exhibit in which visual arts student Victoria Beaumont shone a light on issues surrounding sexual abuse. The piece was a final project for Beaumont’s Print Media 1 class with Davida Kidd.

It began with the completion of a print, titled “Taken”, featuring a nude woman from the ribs up with a male’s hand covering her mouth. This was hung in four places on campus with a comment box for people to anonymously respond to the issues being raised in the piece.

The final stage was an exhibit titled “Don’t Be Silenced” in the art gallery located in C building. A couch was set in front of the pieces along with the anonymous comments. Beaumont arranged them in the shape of a thought bubble, accompanied by statistics on sexual abuse in Canada.

“Sexual abuse is often a suppressed topic, whether it be by society or personal admittance,” she explained. “I, personally, have experienced this and the piece became my way of standing up to it.”

Beaumont’s project was approved for display on campus and in the art gallery, but during the two-week long run, her pieces were removed and the doors often remained locked to the C building gallery space.

Davida Kidd, Beaumont’s instructor for the project, noted that there have been occasions when sensitive pieces have been removed from public viewing.

“Work has been taken down in the past; some forms of nudity have been objected to,” she said, adding that sometimes pieces are placed in the UFV art gallery with a sign on the door to warn audiences about

artwork: Victoria Beaumont

This piece hung in four different places on campus before being taken down. mature content.

Kidd explained that students, in some situations, want a broader audience than the galleries in C and B building have to offer and therefore must go through approval of facilities.

Beaumont described her piece as some-

thing everyone on campus could respond to, and she wanted them to do so anonymously in response to her work.

“I strongly encouraged people to write about their experiences,” she said, adding that she sought and was given approval for the display from facilities.

Alan Stokes, director of facilities, confirmed that approval for art pieces goes through his department and noted that when a piece is removed it is a question of safety.

“The reason I get involved is for a safety factor. We don’t want to have any students or any public hurt in any way,” he explained.

He went on to note that during the time a piece is displayed on campus, it is monitored by the student artist.

“It’s not monitored by facilities or the university … it’s the responsibility of the student … to make sure it is still intact,” he explained.

Beaumont was checking on her pieces when she noticed they had been removed.

“When it was taken down I had to go in search of it,” she said. “Facilities called [the] janitorial [office] … my pieces were in [their] office; they’d been taken down.”

Stokes explained that facilities will notify faculty if a piece has been brought into question.

“It is not something we have deemed not acceptable … maybe someone else has brought it to the attention of … the institution and then it makes it down to our level,” Stokes explained. “We’ll present the concern and leave it to the faculty member.”

As to Beaumont’s concern that the doors to her gallery portion of the exhibit were frequently locked, Stokes responded by saying that the doors to the art galleries are managed by the visual arts department, not by facilities. No one in visual arts was available to comment directly on the removal of Beaumont’s piece.

Beaumont was frustrated that her piece, which relied on public response to be successful, was subject to so many complications.

“I almost always had to ask for the door to be opened,” she said. “It was interesting … the doors, in bold, read ‘Don’t Be Silenced.’”

NEWS BRIEFS

Image: Flickr creative commons

Image: Joakim Lööv/Flickr

Image: Mike Lacon/Flickr

Image: geologyrocks.co.uk

Image: Reuters

Temporary Foreign Worker program under review

Canada ups residency intake of international students

Study suggests financial compensation for organ donors

American marijuana legalization raises questions for BC

Egyptians challenge Mursi in nationwide protests

VICTORIA (CUP) --- The federal government is reviewing its Temporary Foreign Worker Program in light of controversy surrounding the hiring of 201 Chinese workers for the development of a coal mine in northern B.C. “It is clear to our government that there are some problems with the Temporary Foreign Worker Program,” said Diane Finley, Minister of Human Resources and Skills Development, in a statement on Nov. 8. “We take these very seriously, and are currently reviewing the program.”

In 2011, there were 22,600 temporary foreign workers in B.C., and 265 of them worked in the mining, oil and gas industry.

WINDSOR (CUP) — The Government of Canada has announced Canadian Experience Class (CEC) immigration intake, which includes residency for international students, is expected to quadruple from 2,500 in 2009 to 10,000 in 2013.

Citizenship, Immigration and Multiculturalism Minister Jason Kenney announced its 2013 Immigration Levels Plan would maintain its current levels of immigration throughout next year.

“Our government’s number one priority remains economic and job growth,” said Kenney in a press release.

NORTH VANCOUVER (CUP) — Would a financial incentive make you more likely to donate an organ? A recent study conducted by the Libin Cardiovascular Institute of Alberta and the University of Calgary says yes, noting that almost half of Canadians surveyed approve of the idea, despite the fact that the sale of organs is illegal in Canada.

“The study came about from a discussion on how to increase the pool of potential donors. In other words, how to get more people to step forward to donate, living or deceased,” said Lianne Barnieh, a researcher for the Liben Institute.

BURNABY (CUP) — On Nov 6, both the states of Colorado and Washington passed ballots legalizing the recreational use of marijuana, raising interest from advocates about the possible impact of the decision in British Columbia.

Prime Minister Stephen Harper’s reaction to the news was discouraging for proponents of legalization.

“I won’t speculate about what it means south of the border, but the government of Canada has no intention of opening the issue here,” he said when asked about the ballot initiatives.

BC Premier Christy Clark has stated that she does not support legalization and believes it to be a federal matter.

(Reuters) - Tens of thousands of Egyptians rallied on Tuesday against President Mohamed Mursi in one of the biggest outpourings of protest since Hosni Mubarak’s overthrow, accusing the Islamist leader of seeking to impose a new era of autocracy.

Police fired tear gas at stonethrowing youths in streets near the main protest in Cairo’s Tahrir Square, heart of the uprising that toppled Mubarak last year. Clashes between Mursi’s opponents and supporters erupted in a city north of Cairo.

“The people want to bring down the regime,” protesters in Tahrir chanted, echoing slogans used in the 2011 revolt.

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 28, 2012

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NEWS

“For me, it would still be the same thing I sang about.”

Mayor Banman looks back on his first year in office and reaffirms his goals JOE JOHNSON THE CASCADE

Bruce Banman became the upset winner of the Abbotsford by-election on November 19, 2011. He took office the following December, and he now looks back fondly on a year spent in office, recounting big events, challenges, and talking about what he hopes to accomplish with the rest of his term.

Some might say you weren’t the conventional choice as Mayor, but on November 19, 2011 the residents of Abbotsford found you to be the right choice. Looking back, how did you win?

Well, basically it was the water issue more than anything else. I was on the right side of the water issue. And I think I hit a chord with people … a lot of times people don’t necessarily vote for something, they vote against other issues. I happened to be, out of the other candidates, the other credible choice. Or palatable choice.

There was water, there was the Fraser Valley Regional District, there was the budget. I think the other thing is whenever we get into tough economic times, that’s the biggest risk for anyone that’s in politics to maintain being in the position they are. The public gets scared and they want change. I was as probably as surprised as anyone.

I recall watching one of the debates and you broke into a song …

[Laughs] Yes I did.

I sat down with some friends, and we knew one question which was the blue sky question, so to speak, the pie in the sky – “If you get elected, not necessarily what would you build, but if you could what’s the one project you’d like to see?” … so my particular project that I thought would be a theatre.

But the city was broke. I’m a chiropractor, and I was talking with a patient in my practice and I said, “Well, you know, if I was a rich man…” and out came the song. And I thought, “Well maybe I should sing this.”

It was about 50/50, and I figured I had nothing to lose so what the heck, why not? And the auditorium erupted with applause and it just sort of set me apart as being different.

Image: Joe Johnson/The Cascade

Banman counts the last year a success on several levels -- hockey, infastructure, theatre.

There are a lot of construction and infrastructure projects going on right now. What’s the city building up for and is this signaling accelerated growth in population?

I think some of it is catch-up, to be honest with you. This city has seen unprecedented growth for year after year after year. It was in 2010 that things sort of leveled off and slowed.

Even with that, we have Highstreet Shape Properties which is building the largest mall that’s been built between Vancouver and Calgary in the last 30 years.

It’s 600,000 square feet – it’s massive. There’s more concrete being put into that than was put into BC Place. As with other things, it’s the residential that has slowed down. That gives the city a chance to catch up.

And the two major infrastructure projects that we built were the overpass at Clearbrook and the overpass at Marshall Road, which is close to the university.

That was because the governments opened up their wallets to try and stimulate the economy.

And the other infrastructure program that we’re working on— our water system—has got to the point where it’s worn out in certain areas. … We’re replacing on an as-needed basis.

The Abbotsford Heat, they’ve actually been selling out some games this year …

I’m thrilled that the Heat games have sold out. When the Oiler franchise came to town, actually, that sold out almost every hotel room in Abbotsford. I bumped into people … one guy flew up from California to watch, because of course Gretzky ended up in California. And another fellow drove from Saskatoon. Oiler fans, they’re crazy.

But I’m glad they came here – it added a lot of excitement to the arena. It was the first time in history that we had pre-sold the games, and there were no walkup tickets available. Abbotsford had scalpers, for crying out loud!

Who would have ever imagined we’d have scalpers. And so maybe there were a couple of students that decided to go from business school and tried to do a littler entrepreneurial work and get some tickets and make a lift on them.

I’m thrilled with that.

However, I think we need to be cautious that this is just because of the NHL lockout. We need to work hard to make sure that every person that goes through that building has a pleasant experience, has a good guest experience The venue actually, the entertainment has come along amazingly. We’ve had sold-out concerts. Country western singer

[Eric] Church is coming, and he’s doing very well. We were ranked as number two in Canada, per capita, for that arena for the type of entertainment we get, and 13 overall in the world.

Quite frankly, what really is keeping us down is the lack of attendance in hockey games.

You were bald, at least temporarily, this year …

Yes, I was bald!

Probably one of the watering holes that students would know would be Finnegan’s across the street. The owner of that establishment, Mr. Esposito, somehow corralled me with some of the wives from the hockey team and said, “Would you shave your head to have the funds raised to go to the local hospital cancer ward?”

I’ve lost both an uncle and I’ve lost a sister to cancer … and if I were to tell you I wasn’t scared about it I’d be liar.

And he shaved my head, and in part we were able to raise $30,000.

What’s your relationship like with the university and what kinds of things do you work together on?

The university and the city have always had a pretty good relationship. Anything we can do to help the University, we will.

One of the things is that they

have an agricultural program.

Agriculture in the Fraser Valley is over $2 billion to the GDP. So it’s important that we try and find crops that grow well here and do best farm practices. And the university, especially the research departments, are good at that.

They also have a trades program that they work with. So we have Cascade Aerospace that needs great technicians to work there, to work on those Hercules jets. So the university says, “What is it that we need here?” and tries to provide those careers.

It’s not just getting a degree any more – you actually get a degree where you have a high likelihood of getting a great job.

I gotta tell you, I love Mark Evered. He’s a great guy. He’s very much involved. I think he’s actually one of the few guys that might be at more things than I am. He’s all over the city – you should be very proud of him, and you should be very proud of your university. It’s going to do great things and it always has produced great people.

And if there were unlimited funds, to go back to that question from the debate …

If I were a rich man, what would I do? It’s interesting because one of the talks that we’re having with the university is that one of the dreams is to have a performing arts centre. The city needs it, the university needs it.

Performance gives people a sense of self assurance, it gives you confidence, it challenges you.

I think that in this world especially, we don’t see enough live stuff.

We don’t see enough live performances, whether it be one of your buddies playing a guitar in a little coffee shop somewhere, or going to a live performance or a concert of some nature, or a live play. I don’t think we see enough of that.

And there’s a special interaction that happens when you’re in with an audience watching a live performance that just doesn’t happen on a TV, it doesn’t happen in a movie theatre quite the same.

But right now, until times gets a little better, until we get our house in order a little better, it’s on the back burner. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try and save a few shekels towards that in the future. … So for me it would still be the same thing I sang about.

Interested in contributing to your campus newspaper?

We’re always looking for new writers, photographers, comic artists, crossword junkies and pretty much everything in between.

CAPTAIN CASCADE COMMANDS YOU.

Email editor in chief Nick Ubels at nick@ufvcascade.ca for more!

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WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 28, 2012

New copyright laws hit photocopiers everywhere NADINE MOEDT THE CASCADE

We’ve seen the email circulating: “UFV decides against signing Access Copyright License.” It explains that after review of Bill C-11 and other recent Supreme Court of Canada decisions, UFV has chosen to “opt out” of another license with Access Copyright. So what does that mean for students and instructors?

The agency acts similarly to a middleman between creators—or people who hold the copyright— and users. UFV pays Access Copyright a fee, and they provide us with a license that allows students and faculty to use material that Access Copyright represents legally.

According to Kim Isaac, a librarian here at UFV, Access Copyright has provided “an important service” for about 20 years. However, due to some recent changes in copyright law, this has all changed.

UFV previously paid a flat rate of $3.38 per student full time equivalent (FTE), plus a transactional fee; this came to a total cost of roughly $120,000 a year that UFV was paying for the rights to use material (which Access Copyright represents) in a classroom setting.

In the summer of 2010, UFV’s license with Access Copyright

artwork: net_efekt

was due to expire. Isaac explained UFV expected to negotiate new terms and continue the relationship with Access Copyright. This did not happen.

Instead, Access Copyright went to the copyright board of Canada and filed for a tariff.

This would have “resulted in a greatly increased cost for our institution,” Isaac said. Access Copyright was seeking an increase in fees of $45 per student FTE – an “astronomical increase,” Isaac said.

Not surprisingly, Isaac stated, post-secondary institutions banded together under the two major agencies they are mem-

bers of—Association of Canadian Community Colleges (ACCC) and Associations of Universities and Colleges of Canada (AUCC)—and “filed an objection to that tariff under the copyright board.”

This legal process took us to the summer of 2012. In the meantime, the negotiation continued between ACCC, AUCC and Access Copyright.

Both AUCC and ACCC negotiated a deal with Access Copyright that seemed a much better deal then the tariff Access Copyright was trying to push through. The new model license that ACCC had negotiated came to $10 per FTE, something UFV was fully pre-

pared to sign.

However, just as UFV prepared to do that,” a new copyright act was passed—the copyright modernization act—bringing in some changes to how copyrighted material can be used,” Isaac said.

“Almost at the same time,” Isaac continued, ”a couple of decisions came down from the Supreme Court of Canada that gave what we felt was a very sympathetic interpretation of using copyrighted material in an educational setting.”

Before the copyright modernization act, a “fair dealing” clause—which permits the use of a copyright protected work without the direct permission of the copyright owner—allowed copying for reasons of personal research. However, if an instructor wanted to make copies for every student in a class, it was not considered fair dealing. Before Access Copyright, Isaac explained, we would have to approach the writer or publisher for permission, a “really unwieldy and difficult” process. Educational use was not considered fair dealing.

Over the summer this all changed. The Supreme Court stated that educational use is considered to be fair dealing, which completely changes the copyright rules for both students and instructors.

This only applies to excerpts of

material, Isaac clarified. Longer works, such as entire books, don’t fit in to fair dealing, and now “individual institutions can once again approach copyright holders themselves.”

Before UFV signed the new license with Access Copyright, it received a legal opinion from ACCC stating that in light of these changes the model license was “not a good value for money.”

UFV was stuck in a sort of limbo, debating whether to sign or not to sign.

After reviewing info from ACCC legal council, the new copyright modernization act and the supreme court decisions, UFV finally decided not to sign the model license, “essentially deciding to move away from operating within an agreement with Access Copyright” according to Isaac.

“We’re really scrambling to try to figure out what all these changes mean,” Isaac said. “It’s crazy right now.”

So what can people reasonably copy? What falls under fair dealing? The UFV library is currently trying to develop a more comprehensive website to answer these questions. Any questions in the meantime should be directed to UFV librarians, as UFV learns to navigate in this very new copyright environment.

Be an angel this Christmas Student Life program lends a hand TAYLOR JOHNSON THE CASCADE

Christmas is just around the corner, but for some families the holidays aren’t a cheerful and uplifting time. Many parents face financial challenges by trying to provide for their families while pursuing their education.

UFV’s Student Life’s Angel Tree program aims to help these families during the holiday season by bringing their children a gift from their wishlists.

Angel tags can be found hanging on Christmas trees all over the UFV Abbotsford campus, as well as in A building at CEP. Each angel represents a child and their gift wish. Students, faculty and staff are able pick an angel off the tree and help that child’s wish come true.

The Angel Tree program not only brings a gift to the child, but gives to the entire family. Last year, the program provided 50 families with food hampers and gift cards to local businesses. This was in addition to the 116 children who received a gift at Christmas.

Elicia Tournier, a third-year practicum student at UFV, works first-hand with the Angel Tree program. She explained that the point of the program is to help parents pursuing their education, with the many financial obstacles that arise during the holiday season. The main challenge of the holiday season is affording to give their children gifts at Christmas. With the help of this program, Tournier said that the sponsored child’s parent will receive the gift in time for Christmas morning.

Although the holidays might revolve a lot around gifts, the idea here is to give back and support those in need. The Angel Tree program takes the weight off a parent’s shoulder knowing that their child will still receive a gift Christmas

Image: UFV

Student Life’s Angel Tree program. morning, but also that they themselves will get a little extra help during the holiday season.

In 2010 the Angel Tree program held an “elf training day,” where families made crafts and participated in Christmas activities. That year the program was able to give 80 families (and 170 children) gifts.

Of those, 43 families and 103 children were from the Chilliwack campus, while 37 families and 67 children were from the Abbotsford campus.

If you are interested in adopting an angel and giving a gift to a child this year, or simply want to help with the program, all the information you need is available through Student Life, which can be reached at slevents@ufv.ca.

Friday, Saturday updo and style 40% off

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 28, 2012

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OPINION

A farewell, among other things SEAN EVANS THE CASCADE

Black Friday is a snapshot of the insanity that is humanity. Absolute insanity. A quick search on YouTube will yield results of dozens, hundreds of people pushing, screaming, punching, hurling themselves into each other in an effort to get cheap cell phones.

What else are we but the masses of heavy-set Americans, fighting, pushing and throwing each other to guarantee ourselves a piece of what we want.

Truth is at a premium. We will fight for it (as evidenced on the ufvcascade.ca comment sections last week). Our actions betray that we hold dear what we believe to be truth. All of humanity has and will wrestle in the aisles of the cosmic Wal-Mart to get hold of that ever-elusive, “while supplies last,” limited-edition truth. We want to be right – we want what we believe to be right; we’ve banked a hell of a lot on it.

This fight has been on my mind as I contemplate moving on from UFV, my degree in hand, to pursue a career in education.

The fight that I speak of is not necessarily against one another, but against the universe itself. We are told in Astronomy 101 just how massive the universe must be. We walk to our cars late at night after class and look out to the sky, and know just how small we are. It is

Friedrich Nietzsche, Leo Tolstoy and Søren Kirkegaard.

crippling for a time.

We go to English in the morning and find comfort in the words of Leo Tolstoy (Sorry, Dr. Cameron, LEV Tolstoy); “Where there is life, there is faith” – although that faith may be questioned; how could God be good and tolerate a world in which War and Peace is required reading in the first month of the semester? But psychology in the afternoon tears all that apart when Freud tells us that “religion is the universal neurosis.”

Then, in philosophy, Friedrich Nietzsche and Søren Kierkegaard have their way with us. First, Søren tells us that “if there were no eternal consciousness in a man, if at the bottom of everything there were only a wild ferment, a power that twisting in dark passions produced everything great of inconsequential; if an unfathomable, insatiable emptiness lay hid beneath

everything, what would life be but despair?” Now there’s a question!

According to Søren, there must be something eternal beyond the merely temporal.

Friedrich fires back, “the best atheist joke which precisely I could have made: ‘God’s only excuse is that he does not exist’” And later, “God is dead! God remains dead!

And we have killed him. How shall we comfort ourselves, the murderers of all murderers? . . . Is not the greatness of this deed too great for us? Must we ourselves not become gods simply to appear worthy of it?”

Then ol’ Burty Russell chimes in; “It does not occur to Nietzsche as possible that a man should genuinely feel universal love, obviously because he himself feels almost universal hatred and fear, which he would feign disguise as lordly indifference. His ‘noble’ man—

who is himself in day-dreams—is a being wholly devoid of sympathy, ruthless, cunning, cruel, concerned only with his own power.

King Lear, on the verge of madness, says: ‘I will do such things— what they are yet I know not— but they shall be the terror of the earth.’ This is Nietzsche’s philosophy in a nutshell.”

A few of the greatest thinkers in recent history have had their say. They all disagree. They all elbow and push and jostle for position. The cosmic Wal-Mart is loud, frightening, depressing and quite scary at times.

Their ideas were controversial, but they fought for them. They knew that not all of them were right. Reason alone tells us that.

The battle is to decide who will be the arbiter of truth. Who gets to decide? Who gets to define truth?

Well, in a sense, you do.

You are the only person who can decide, ultimately, and finally, what your definition of truth is.

Woah, you say; what about all that junk about exclusive truth you wrote about a few weeks ago that ruffled so many feathers?

Truth is exclusive. And therefore your decision about what is true matters – if you make the wrong choice, cosmic Wal-Mart is a pretty violent place. The universe will beat you up if you do not live according to what is exclusively true. Just give it a try – climb to the top of the fourth floor in A building and drop your iPhone

out the window. Gravity will not forgive you for doubting.

So, ultimately you are the arbiter of truth in your world, but there are consequences (or just sequences).

Now, to bring this full circle: The University of the Fraser Valley, like many other schools, is engaged in a conversation – the same conversation that Leo (Lev), Freud, Søren, Friedrich and ol’ Burty were in. You are in it too, whether you like it or not.

This conversation will not stop, it has been raging for millennia and will continue. What I love about this whole notion of education is that we get to keep the conversation going. We get to debate these things, knowing the vastness of the implications and the greatness of the challenge. The desire for knowledge and for the wisdom of how to use it propels us on and on.

What is so beautiful about the university is that we are all (supposed to be) here for the same purpose; to acquire knowledge.

Quite naturally, the scrum starts up pretty quick. Perhaps I threw one too many elbows in my time here, but hey, who can blame me?

Truth is at a premium, and the aisles of cosmic Wal-Mart are pretty crowded.

All the best, Sean

A parable of papers DESSA BAYROCK THE CASCADE

Last week I was reading a journal article for a paper, and I was suddenly struck with the depressing thought that the paper I was reading was the paper I was trying to write.

The thesis was a cleaner version of my thesis. The argument was a better-developed and more wellgrounded version of my argument.

No matter what I did, I knew that my paper couldn’t measure up to this paper. This was the paper to end all papers.

I sat there and stared at the article for a while, holding my highlighter like an idiot. That wasn’t helping anything. I got a cup of coffee. I put a cap on my pen. I let things percolate in my head while I tried to come up with a game plan. I hit a low point and seriously reconsidered my academic career. And then I sat down in front of that stupid, perfect paper, and I uncapped my highlighter, and I kept going. I thought of another, better thesis, and I reread my other sources, and then I wrote a paper I’m fairly proud of.

I thought about this perfect paper, and the author of this perfect paper.

Here I was trying to write a paper in roughly two weeks, from thesis to research to writing to editing to handing the damn thing in. The paper I held in my hands was probably the work of a grad student, who dedicated at least a year of his time to it and only it, completed several drafts, and had several professors read and edit it for both grammar and content.

Hell, he probably visited the grave of the author in question as part of a re-

Image: creative commons attributed

search trip.

Do I have that kind of time? No. No, I do not.

So I’m going to take my two weeks, and I’m going to Google some stuff, and download some articles and yes, maybe quote some things out of context. Not every paper has to be perfect in order for me to be the best that I can be. I read some books that haven’t been checked out of the UFV library since 2001. Isn’t that an accomplishment in and of itself?

It’s the end of semester, and assignments are piling on top of one another and grappling for attention.

I can almost guarantee that you’ll come face to face with your own low point, holding your own highlighter like an idiot and getting upset about how awful your paper is bound to be.

Don’t sweat it, Max. Get yourself a cup of coffee and say, “Listen, journal article author. You’re from 1963 and I am not scared of you. My paper is going to be kickass in its own way, even if I’m still not 100 per cent sure what my thesis is!”

I hope I get at least a B+ on this paper, or this entire parable is going to fall flat.

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It’s your career.

Get it right.

8

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 28, 2012

www.ufvcascade.ca

OPINION

CanPol: The Last Stand worked in what we would consider blue-collar fields.

SEAN EVANS and NICK UBELS

Nick: It’s a question of meritocracy versus democracy. On the one hand, we want the best and brightest minds running our country, philosopher kings, if you will. Yet obtaining a slip of paper from a university isn’t, strictly speaking, a guarantee of your intelligence or capacity for good governance. If anything, using such strict criteria to decide on our leaders might further only the interests of the elite.

THE CASCADE

With the 2012 U.S. election in the history books, Nick and Sean turn their gaze a little closer to home to examine what’s going on in Canadian politics for their final political dialogue before Sean parts ways for SFU’s PDP program. Canadian politics served up fresh for the everyman (and everycat).

Don’t shed a tear and don’t touch that dial, CanPol is coming right up.

Sean: Last week NPR reported that, “more than half a dozen politicians in Germany are caught up in an embarrassing cheating scandal.” What is more surprising is that instead of their spouses, these politicians are accused of cheating on academic papers while earning their PhDs. The crime? Plagiarism.

Nick: Schieße! Das ist ganz traurig für Deutschland . . . I mean, pretty disappointing. I hadn’t heard of this story before you brought it up.

Plagiarism sucks for everyone involved. And elected officials need to be held to a pretty high standard of integrity.

Sean: Plagiarism is bad. It can get you into a world of trouble if you’re a university student. In fact, if you’ve ever attended a first year class, you’ve probably experienced a very stern warning from the instructor; “If you take someone’s ideas and present them as your own, the university will chew you up, spit you out and make sure that you never do anything more than scrub toilets at McDonalds or work in retail.” It’s a frightening idea, especially because it can be hard to know when to cite, and when to just leave it. The result usually looks like a panicked first year handing in a four-page paper with 76 footnotes.

Nick: Hey, maybe they’re just a really big fan of David Foster Wallace. September’s rumours about a new UFV policy that would allow the university to revoke all credits in some cases of plagiarism car-

Image: stewart seymour/The Cascade

Sean and Nick celebrate their final column with a couple of German friends (very large beers). ried a lot of weight because, well, it was believeable. It’s a more and more common problem when copy-paste is only a few clicks away and the resources at a student’s fingertips increase exponentially on a daily basis. For students facing a looming deadline, part-time work and other commitments—campus clubs, clowning, basket weaving, varsity basketball—there’s a strong temptation to let the internet write their paper for them.

Sean: I think what caught my attention is that there are so many German politicians with PhDs. Apparently it is almost a prerequisite to running for office, NPR reported. Education is just something that the German people value – although their plagiarism rules are apparently pretty relaxed.

This made me curious; how many Canadian politicians have post-secondary education. Well, Macleans had the answer: some 32 per cent of Canadian MPs have no post-secondary degree. Not even a measly BA! Not even an AA in General Studies!

Nick: Expression of shock and dismay followed by look of grim determination

Sean: What is more surprising (and comical) is the numbers for each party: 41 per cent of the Conservatives have no degree, 37 per cent of the NDP and only 15 per cent of the Liberals.

What’s most crazy, though, is that only four per cent of American politicians do not have a degree.

What do you make of those numbers, Nick?

Nick: This is something I’ve actually thought about a fair amount, but never bothered to actually check the numbers, so kudos there.

I know that when I go to the polls, whether a candidate has a college degree isn’t a make-or-break issue, but it’s more of an uphill battle for a candidate to get my vote if they haven’t taken any post-secondary education.

Not to diminish the achievements of German politicians who have completed PhDs, but there are some significant differences between their post-secondary education system and ours here in Canada. For example, a bachelor’s degree in Germany and many other European countries requires the equivalent of 90 credits at UFV, which only requires three years of

full-time study. A master’s degree is the equivalent of one additional year of upper-level classes both in number of credits and difficulty.

So anyone graduating UFV with a four-year bachelor’s degree has achieved the same level of education as someone with a master’s degree completed in Germany.

Also, state-funded post-secondary education means that there are less economic barriers to a university degree than there are in Canada. Yet Canada’s partially statefunded system is more accessible than that of the United States while more American politicians actually have a degree. How do you explain that?

Sean: Perhaps this isn’t a cutand-dry issue; I think there could be something to be said about having a parliament that is representative of the people. If, for example, a more rural area that does not have very many residents with post-secondary education wants to elect an individual with no degree who they feel will best represent their needs at a national level, that should be their choice. To take the argument further, perhaps it would be beneficial to have individuals in parliament who have

Sean: I agree completely, Nick.

The key is balance. In the United States, the elite run the show and the numbers show it. I think governments would run a great deal smoother if some common sense was combined with some critical thinking, post-secondary education skills.

Nick: Definitely. At the same time, what might be most beneficial would be if not only politicians, but voters of all stripes pursued some post-secondary education. Maybe what we need is a stronger emphasis—as a society—on the value of education to create citizens, not just workers.

Sean: THE PEOPLE! UNITED! WILL NEVER BE DEFEATED!!!

Nick: Abandon your ivory towers, you out-of-touch professor types!

Sean: Or in the case of where I am headed, concrete towers. Sigh.

Nick: It’s okay, Sean. I’ll send you a postcard from the verdant, pastoral paradise that is the Fraser Valley.

Sean: Thank you, Nick. It has been a pleasure. You are a scholar and a gentleman, a warrior and a poet.

Nick: Likewise, Sean. Those punk high school students had best prepare themselves for a high-octane dose of **Stand and Deliver**style inspiration.

That’s all folks!

From Gnome Chomsky and The Cascade crew to you, Happy Holidays!

And, if next semester you feel the call to contribute, email editor in chief Nick Ubels at nick@ufvcascade.ca.

Congratulations on another semester done and gone – see you after the apocalypse!

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 28, 2012

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OPINION

San Antonio school district to use student tracking system JOE JOHNSON THE CASCADE

What’s up Northside Independent School District of San Antonio, Texas? I thought you were cool.

Well, not really. I had never actually heard about this particular school district with the acronym NISD until I wound up reading about it in an online article.

Essentially NISD is implementing a very “big brother” like monitoring system of students. They’re using radio frequency identification (RFID) through a test program called the Student Locator Project at two of its schools. But there’s a good chance this article would never have been written if it were not for a particular student, Andrea Hernandez, at one of those schools, John Jay High School.

For those unsure, RFID is a tracking system that emits a radio frequency from whatever it’s embedded in and can be followed to a very accurate degree.

At the beginning of the school year, students were informed that the student ID’s they had been using in previous years were being ended in favour of the RFIDs. But it’s crazy if the NISD feels that what they’re doing is in the best interest of the students.

However, if they do think they’re doing the right thing, it’s worth looking at their reasoning – posted on the program’s website.

Written as three goals of the program, the first is “Increase student safety and security.” The second is “Increase attendance”, and the third is to “Provide multi-purpose ‘Smart’ Student ID card.”

Are those reasons good enough?

Hernandez doesn’t think so. In fact, she felt that they invaded her religious and privacy rights so much that she took a stand and decided not to go along and wear the ID around her neck.

That certainly didn’t sit well with her school and the NISD. At first her school tried the tactic of being petty. They wouldn’t allow

Letters to the editor

Re: “Toke up, Johnny!”

Dear Editor: In the last issue of The Cascade I was intrigued by the position offered by your editorial on the topic of the legalization of marijuana, but saddened by the stark lack of substantial arguments or facts on which the article was based. Very little seemed to be substantiated beyond the somewhat commonly held view that we shouldn’t mess with what other people want to do in the privacy of their homes.

Heading into my final semester as a UFV Criminology student, I feel obligated to respond to some of the points raised, since the view seems to be that the “U.S. states [are pursuing] a more progressive substance policy” which is a rather strong statement.

First, a couple of minor points; the article mentions fears of trade and US border security which “can now be put aside considering the incoming Washington legislation.” Unfortunately, this statement is premature.

While the residents of Washington State may have voted to start down this path, federal law trumps state law. Period. The CBP is a federal organization, and their mandate comes from Washington D.C., not Washington State. The view of many criminologists is that this law will be overturned as soon as they try to write the statute, for a variety of reasons involving the intricacies of federal and state law in the US which I won’t bore you with in this letter.

Secondly, it is stated that in comparison with “hard drugs” moderate marijuana use “yields relatively few harmful effects.” While this statement was much more accurate in the 1970’s, unfortunately the truth is now far from it. Back then the THC content was around seven percent; by comparison today average levels are around 25% for “reasonable quality” and often closer to 31%. The difference this makes is two-fold. First, it is starting to become classified and treated as an addictive drug just like cocaine, alcohol, crack, and heroin (to name a few). Rehab centers in Britain are seeing much higher success rates using this method for individuals who want to kick the “habit”. Studies coming out just now in Britain are finding that “moderate use” of marijuana between the ages of 17-30 permanently lower IQ levels to a noticeable and measurable degree. In other words, it’s not

the “harmless high” that many would like to call it (and that’s without even mentioning the much higher risk of schizophrenia).

When reading your editorial I was waiting for the gang violence argument to come up, and I wasn’t disappointed. You make the bold statement (as many have made before you) that “legalizing pot would dramatically reduce gang violence by cutting off the profitability of their primary source of income.” before going into more detail on just how much gangs depend on the illegality of pot to survive. At that point the article starts to lose its coherence as you begin to draw comparisons and make statements about gangs migrating to crimes which are less lucrative and easier for the police to monitor. The logic is sketchy at best, and I doubt many criminologists would agree; but I digress. Instead, to address the main point it is unfortunately just not true. To clarify that statement: there is no evidence that legalizing marijuana would take away the gangs income, and the balance of statistics we have suggests otherwise.... ~Derek Uittenbosch Do to space constraints, the remainder of this letter can be found at ufvcascade.ca Re: Letter to the Editor from Jonathan Hall: The Problem of Tolerance: Are strong enough to disagree (and keep on talking)?

Hi Jonathan, As an advocate of sense, and the freedom of individuals, I should point out that your argument is based on a fundamentally ignorant and fallacious ground. You speak of an “actual standard of right and wrong”, as if we, those who disagree with your bigotry and do not condone it, agree with you on this hugely important point, the point that we are in fact disagreeing on, which you can’t even see, because of your fundamentally bigoted nature…

Do not talk about criminals. That comparison shows me and any other readers the ignorant and mal-educated place from which you come.

It will be nothing more than an exercise in mental exhaustion to continue this conversation with you over the internet. I feel sorry for people in your position, I feel, in a tangible way, one of the obstacles that is preventing our nation’s community from advancing socially. Until we are rid

her to take part in activities or vote for homecoming king or queen. But then it got quite a bit worse. They moved to have her expelled.

And however disgusting that is was only exacerbated when the principal offered her father a special deal. Hernandez would be able to stay in school and not be tracked with RFID if she were to wear the ID around her neck, only with the RFID removed, for other students to see.

Unfortunately, this completely misses the point of her stand against the system and shows the arrogance with which the NISD is forcibly placing students into compliance with.

So anyway, that deal was declined. But Hernandez found somebody in her corner, The Rutherford Institute which has come to her aid. They filed for an injunction and from this a judge has recently granted a temporary restraining order that is preventing her expulsion. But the case now has a long ways to work itself out.

Let’s look at the reality of the Student Locator Project by properly addressing the first two of the aforementioned goals.

The use of RFIDs will not adequately address safety and security concerns. First, and this is speculative but I’m sure would become reality, it would create a false sense of security. These tags don’t guarantee anything. This is information that passes continually through a computer system, and that opens a whole can of worms. Who monitors the system? Who can wrongfully gain access to it through legit and non-legit manners? It’s ridiculous to expect that they’re secure. RFID credit cards are getting unknowingly scanned and information stolen all the time.

The other goal is to increase attendance. Directly from the website, “Through more efficient attendance management, schools can generate additional revenues by identifying students who are not in their seats during roll call but who are in the school and locate them. (Increased

attendance = increased state revenues.)”

They expect to gain upwards of $2 million from additional state funding. But really, if a student doesn’t want to be in school I’m sure they’ll find a way around the system. Perhaps giving your ID card to a friend while you take off for the day might work. So, the number which funding is based on will have inaccuracies.

Ultimately, this boils down to the financial incentive that the school board clearly sees in the program.

Safety is just a way to sell it to the public. And that’s far from a good enough reason when consideration is given to what’s lost.

Harping on this continually becomes frustrating, but privacy rights should have no monetary value or be traded for a false sense of security. It’s a scary thought, but putting this on kids will go a long way to indoctrinating them into a mindset that a big brother mentality is acceptable. This might be what’s occurring down in Texas but it’s not too far from Canada.

All letters to the editor must be less than 400 words or they will not be printed in full. Please email all letters to nick@ufvcascade.ca in .doc format. of the corruption that has putrefied the supple young minds the likes of which yours once was, until we know everyone will accept all others who act naturally and do not harm or infringe upon the rights of others in any way, as even your misinformed vision of God would, until we are free of all yokes upon our reasoning, will we all be able to live happily. ~Beau O’Neill Re: “Rank, tenure and why it matters to students” by Karen Aney We read with interest your article “Rank, tenure and why it matters to students” in the November 14 edition of The Cascade. We agree that the introduction of a system of rank and tenure at UFV would have a beneficial impact for students, as your article clearly explains. As you also noted, the specific details of the FSA proposal cannot be publicized as we enter into bargaining, but a small correction seems to us in order. You mentioned that tenure “is often awarded with the title of professor (as opposed to assistant or associate professor)” but, more typically, tenure is granted with promotion to the rank of associate professor. The job security, guarantees of academic freedom, recognition, and other benefits granted with tenure are normally enjoyed, and are considered necessary, before promotion to full professorship, a rank that one can achieve after years of service and exceptional accomplishment.

Thank you again for your excellent coverage of these developments. ~Sylvie Murray FSA Communications Chair Re: “Album Review: One Direction – Take Me Home” by Dessa Bayrock I am furious about the review of One Direction’s album Take Me Home, as it is totally bias. Journalists reviewing albums should be open to all kinds of music, or at least not have a burning hatred for a certain genre.

ALL pop music nowadays talks about the same issues as One Direction – love, girls, summer flings, immature relationships. Immature because the listeners, and the singers themselves, are young adults and have not yet fully experienced life.

Dessa Bayrock completely overan-

alyzes and trashes the lyrics to various songs. They’re overproduced, cookiecutter pop songs and are not meant to be analyzed. They’re meant to be enjoyed. They’re meant to be danced to.

Bayrock bashes lyrics like “Tonight let’s get some,” for being shallow and objectifying women. However, it is a well-known fact that every boy wants sex, so it’s a topic that’s bound to come up. Many singers have sung and will continue to sing about sex. Also, songs like “Little Things” don’t objectify women at all, but focus on how beautiful the girl is in more personal ways.

The writer is so stuck on the fact that some songs have a sexual undertone, and interprets every song in this way. She mentions that the “YEEOOOW!” in “Heart Attack” reminds her of “sexual harassment.” If I am not mistaken, many singers make this harmless noise. It doesn’t necessarily mean “I want to have sex with you.”

There are so many things wrong with this review (They aren’t all Irish, and they also do surprisingly play instruments). The writer HATES One Direction and their shallow lyrics, but that is what most pop music is these days. As a listener who is open to pop music, I think their album actually has some good vocals and catchy songs.

I hate when people blatantly smash an artist, because that’s not the style of music they like or they just hate the band. Be open-minded to music, because music is a great thing, whatever the genre. It’s a way to express yourself, or to just have fun, which is exactly what One Direction is doing!

Just as an added point, Bayrock said she wished 1D’s “Summer Love” had been a cover of the Grease classic.

Yet that song has lyrics almost as shallow, if not even more shallow than some of One Direction’s music. You are invited to analyze that soundtrack for the next review. ~Haley Borchert Re: Angela Ostrikoff’s Letter to the Editor: I feel I have to respond to Angela Ostrikoff’s Letter to the Editor (November 21, 2012). In her letter Angela commented that the articles written

by The Cascade’s Paul Esau and Sean Evans about the UFV Pride and UFV UCM joint showing of “For the Bible Tells me so” “were steeped in homo-

phobic beliefs…(and) denied historical events.” I have to say that I disagree particularly given the success of the event and believe the articles celebrated the openness and good intentions of the people who attended.

I understand where Angela is coming from; Esau’s article did leave out the history of LGBT oppression and Evans’ article was somewhat controversial in its ridged definition of tolerance. But to claim that either denied oppression or ignored certain groups within our community is absurd.

For those who were unable to attend the joint event hosted by Pride and UCM the event was meant to bring the Christian Community and the LGBT Community together to build bridges and to encourage harmony within our society. It was trying to show that we are all human, and that if there is a God, it is him who will judge, not our fellow man.

To excel as a society we need to break down the barriers that segregate one from another. At the event the very well documented and demonstrated oppressions of the past (and unfortunately the present) were intentionally left out because the goal was to move forward not focused on the past. To say that Esau and Evans’ articles were denying history, silencing individuals, creating moral dichotomies, and “not inclusive” is presumptuous and is downright intolerant. Unnecessarily dredging up the past and to criticize others for intentionally ignoring either side’s faults is demeaning. Let me say that as someone who is Gay, Christian and helped plan the event; I felt neither: denied, silenced, condemned, underprivileged, dichotomized, fringed, neglected, violated, discriminated, or oppressed by Esau’s and Evan’s articles.

Martin Luther King Jr. said about the black civil rights movement that it “must not lead us to a distrust of all white people . . . their destiny is tied up with our destiny. And they have come to realize that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom.

We cannot walk alone.” That goes the same for the LGBT Community and society as well, we are all here to stay and we aren’t going to solve anything if the author of a neutral article about a joint Gay and Christian event is criticized and defamed for looking forward rather than back. ~Finn Nevill

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WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 28, 2012

FEATURE

Your Apocalypse

LIFE PRO TIP: Raptors are smarter than you think they are and can probably climb ladders. Find a bunker and a shotgun.

WARNING: Remember Avatar, where the hero rides a pterodactyl-thing? Yeah. Don’t try that.

LIFE PRO TIP: Headshots are probably the only reliable way out of this mess. If you get bitten, you will also get left behind.

WARNING: Zombies do not make good pets. And running around the forest with a Nerf gun is not actually a good way to survive.

Morse Code Key No matter how the world is ending, I think it’s safe to assume that there won’t be cell service in the new world. Communication is one of the keys of human civilization, so no matter what, you’re going to need a way to send and receive messages to friends, family, and allies – preferably without being understood by raptors and zombies. Morse code is perfect; you can flash the short-shortlong signals with a flashlight, a candle or even through smoke signals.

How to find your way in the darkness with the SUS secret stash Certainly, if you were stuck between a rock and a dark place, your first instinct would be a candle and/or an actual flashlight, but where’s the fun in that? What about when December 21, 2012 hits and you’ve already burnt down all your candles trying to set a nice Christmasy mood? What about those times you wasted looking under the stairs with your flashlight for that Scotch tape? What do you do then?

Well, you make your own candle. You learn how to build a fire properly. And you use everything and anything at your disposal because you’re cold, you’re scared and the zombies are going to get you. (Assuming that the end of the Mayan calendar coincides with some crazy contagion that creates zombies either from an actual mutant virus or bad taco meat.)

What if you’re a guy or a girl who just finished your period and you stumble upon a stash of SUS tampon boxes? You flip the tampon upside down, put it in the middle of a container of Crisco and light the string. There. You’ve got a 45 day candle to get you through the terrifying nights.

Or you can use the tampons as kindling for a campfire. How else are you going to cook that questionably dead bird you found? Build a teepee, a house or crisscross formation with the tampons, light the strings and let the campfire burn.

Or, if you’re really smart, you’ll hoard those tampons on your person and later sell them to desperate ladies for profit.

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 28, 2012

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FEATURE

Survival Kit

LIFE PRO TIP: Find a CIS student. Make them reprogram a robot so it can be your ally and give you a fighting chance.

WARNING: Contrary to the popular sci-fi show Battlestar Galactica, “Let’s go toaster-shopping!” is not a real battle-cry.

LIFE PRO TIP: Wear a dust mask, or a wet cloth over your nose and mouth. You don’t want to breath ash in, and if everything is on fire there is bound to be ash. Everywhere.

Alternate food sources

Pinecone: Crunchy, good fibre

Vermin: Everything a growing boy needs

Radioactive bugs: High protein and rads

Grass: Good filler between meals

Fallout Fruit: Looks like a growth and tastes like one, too

Stick with leaf: Desperate times ...

Doubles as toilet paper holder

Places to Hide on Abbotsford Campus:

1. Think high ground – you can see what’s coming at you from all angles, and pick off any threats as soon as they approach. Do you know anyone with keys to the roof? They are your new best friend.

2. Remember those “areas of refuge” signs around campus and in the corners of stairwells? That’s a good place to start. Lock the doors of a stairwell and use it as a tower fortress.

3. If you’re willing to trek over possibly dangerous ground, head for Costco. It will become the capital of our new world. Let’s face it, it has everything.

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WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 28, 2012

ARTS & LIFE

CROSSWORD 1

2

3

6

4

5

8 9

AMY VAN VEEN THE CASCADE

ACROSS

1. Denzel Washington stars in this film as a blind guy with a Bible.

(3, 4, 2, 3 letters) 4. Will Smith roams the desolate urban landscape with his dog. (1, 2, 6 letters) 7. Aerosmith’s “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing” will forever be linked to this

movie. (10 letters) 9. A team has to drill into the centre of the earth to restart the rotation with

nuclear explosions in this film. (3, 4 letters) 11. This Kevin Costner flick, which was the most expensive film ever made at

the time, depicts a world where the ice caps have melted. (10 letters) 13. This scientologist and former beloved celebrity stars in the remake of War of

the Worlds. (3, 6 letters)

7

10

11

Apocalypse Now

12

13

EclipseCrossword.com

DOWN

2. Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum walk away slowly from a crashed alien space

ship while smoking cigars. (12, 3 letters) 3. Emma Stone and Woody Harrelson, among others, fight the undead in this

movie. (10 letters) 5. These animals dominate measly humans in a 1968 Charlton Heston movie.

(4 letters) 6. This awkward film title stars a young Elijah Wood and Robert Duvall as the

world prepares for a 7-mile wide comet. (4, 6 letters) 8. This Cormac McCarthy novel turned film depicts a man and his son attempt

ing to survive a post-apocalyptic world. (3, 4 letters) 10. A young Mel Gibson stars in this film where he rides a motorcycle around a

post-apocalyptic outback. (3, 3 letters) 12. A robot looks for plant life and love in this tale of space dancing and morbid

obesity. (4, 1 letters)

LAST WEEK’S Answer Key Across 1. Hansel 4. Rumpelstiltskin 5. FrogPrince 7. SnowWhite 11. Pea 12. Charming 13. Three

Down 2. SleepingBeauty 3. Cinderella 6. Pied Piper 8. Rapunzel 9. Jack 10.Ariel

The Weekly Horoscope Star Signs from Swamp Bob Aquarius: Jan 20 - Feb 18

Gemini: May 21 - June 21

Libra: Sept 23 - Oct 22

Jupiter is out of a home since being kicked out by Venus after what he said about her mom’s bad dress. You will die an untimely death when a flying Winnebago falls on your head.

The backwards swirling vortex created

by Saturn is throwing the alignment of Uranus out of alignment. You will have a spitting contest with a llama on your grandfather’s birthday (but only if it is in January).

Uranus was visiting Mercury who lived in the sixth house but all the houses lost their numbers. He knows that the sixth house is the third house after the pink one and seventh after the traffic lights. A baboon will bear his bottom to you when you least expect it.

Pisces: Feb 19 - March 20

Cancer: June 22 - July 22

Scorpio: Oct 23 - Nov 21

Pluto blasted the roof off his house after trying the Extreme Mentos and Coke challenge. Nature hates you; teach it who is boss by beating the first squirrel you come across in scrabble.

The stars create bright celestial energies, preventing Venus from getting any sleep.

You will find your thumb drive unaccountably filled with photos of sheep.

Earth is caught in the spiraling void pulled apart by Mars and Mercury having a tug of war to settle once and for all who has a better grasp of 18th century French philosophy. Your toilet will be filled with turnips.

Aries: March 21 - April 19

Leo: July 23 - Aug 22

Sagittarius: Nov 22 - Dec 21

Mercury is having a pizza party in the sixth house; everyone but Jupiter is invited because he got high after snorting a trail of crushed up Cheetos and passed out in the punch bowl. Your house plants would do much better on a sunnier window sill.

Meow.

Aries is in the ninth house of her grandmother’s canasta playing card friends. This implies that you will break your favourite coffee mug

Taurus: April 20 - May 20

Virgo: Aug 23 - Sept 22

The energies of Pluto and Neptune clash as they fight over the rightful ownership of the lawnmower. You will probably not see a gnome on Saturday.

Europa and Io weave tangerine energies of cosmic peace, tranquility and fiscal prudency. You finally discover what a pretzel salad is.

Capricorn: Dec 22 - Jan 19 Pluto moves to the eighth house so he does not have to listen to all the Christmas music playing in the shopping centers.

Wear matching socks on Wednesday; otherwise you will be mugged by Belgian ninjas.

Visit us at www.monktucky.com!

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 28, 2012

www.ufvcascade.ca

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ARTS & LIFE

Cascade Arcade

LA Game Space would be the TEDTalks of gaming (and more) JOEL SMART

THE CASCADE

I love video games. I’ve also become a bit jaded over the years, due mostly to the sequel-churning, market-research-led corporate machine that pushes the industry onward. So, when I heard about the LA Game Space—which would make exploring the creative potential of gaming its sole purpose—it reminded me why I love video games so much.

LA Game Space is still a Kickstarter project looking for donations until December 7, but if it hits its $250,000 goal, directors Daniel Rehn and Adam Robezzoli believe it will revolutionize the way we understand games.

It would advance both the way indie developers make games and the way we theorize (and apply theories) about games. The nonprofit centre would also lead to a massive increase in open-source game research – making data and videos available for free online.

“Our goal is to free residents [creators living at the centre] from limitations [in] commercial game development,” Rehn and Robezzoli explain on their Kickstarter video. The end result would include “highly experimental game projects” and “unlikely collaborations between artists.”

There are really three main aspects of the LA Game Space that should get people the most excit-

Image:LAgamespace.org

Support LA Game Space before December 7 and receive 30 new, innovative DRM-free games. ed: (1) free, live-streamed speaker series and workshops (2) residencies that offer exhibition space and feedback for those staying on the property, and (3) game research labs that track gameplay data from pulse rate to eye movement – and made available around the globe.

For Pendleton Ward, the creator of Adventure Time—a Cartoon Network show infused with gaming references and widely-adored for its creative storylines—LA Game

Space is really important. “It’s a place for video games to flourish like flowers, you guys,” he poetically muses in an animated video that has since gone viral.

“It would invite game makers to come and stay for a few months and make games and experiment with game making,” Ward adds.

“But, it would also it would also have awesome game developers come in and talk about their theories on games and it would all be

recorded and viewable online like TEDTalks – for games!”

David Surman—researcher, teacher and co-founder of Pachinko Pictures—explains in a YouTube video that he feels the space would be a powerful force for independent game makers to “exhibit and show their work” in a way that would expand their audience. He also believes that the space would lead to better games.

“When you . . . provide some of

those essential funds for LA Game Space,” he clarifies, “you’re creating a resource that will produce interesting, exciting games for years to come.”

If the possibilities for radical developments in game innovation aren’t enough to pique your interest, the Kickstarter is also offering some awesome rewards. Particularly, a donation of $15 will get you newly-created games from important, established developers – including Keita Takahashi who created Katamari Damaci (that game where you roll up the world). Bennett Foddy, creator of QWOP (a hilarious free game online worth looking up if you want a laugh), is teaming up with Pendleton Ward for one of the 30 games as well.

Ben Esposito, creator of Unfinished Swan, is also making a game for the pack.

Ultimately, what LA Game Space would really offer is a chance for games to go further – to become something more than they are now. It could open the door for a legitimate alternative to the overcommercialized, increasingly-stale game industry that we’ve come to rely on as gamers. If you too love video games, you should want it as well.

Visit LAgameSpace.org for more details.

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ARTS & LIFE

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 28, 2012

NaNoWriMo Update

Dessa Bayrock

Working title: The Metaphorical Giraffe NaNoWriMo username: DessaYo Confidence to finish 50,000 words in one month: 100 FUCKING PER CENT Current wordcount: 27,000 Okay. Well, this week has been awful. I have written probably 2000 words in the last seven days.

This is not a good sign.

All the same, I’m giving myself 100 FUCKING PER CENT confidence to finish this. You know why? Because at the beginning of this month, Tony wrote 23,000 words in two days and I’m at least as good as he is.

Further update: I have introduced a police officer who may or may not be a superhero, moved my giraffe to another zoo, am in the midst of throwing up my hands and letting my two main characters fall in love with each other, and making the antagonist less of an asshole and more of misunderstood guy trying to put his kid through college. #Snape? Am I doing it right?

Oh, and the haikus. There are so many haikus.

I wonder what it would be like to write a novel in all capitals. Is it too late to start over?

Sasha Moedt

Working title: Requiem for a Dream: a Novel NaNoWriMo username: smoot Confidence to finish 50,000 words in one month: 37 per centCurrent wordcount: 23,898 I’m not saying that I am throwing in the towel yet, because I don’t want to be the wussy one of the NaNoWriMo bunch. But I probably am the wussy one. My whole novel is wussy. I should add some death or something.

I can’t foresee writing a single word until Friday, then how the heck am I going to finish? Friday is the last day. I’m going to have to weasel some time in before then – at least think about my plotline a bit.

I was thinking, maybe if I just play the Lord of the Rings version of “Requiem for a Dream” over and over and again and just go crazy, I could do it. I would dedicate the title of my book to the song if it worked.

I’m going to go ahead and kill off my main character’s lover, in a very unexpected way. I’m terrible at relationships when I’m stressed, so it’s really fitting.

Anthony Biondi

Working title: The Big Smoke NaNoWriMo username: ABiondi Confidence to finish 50,000 words in a month: scraping bottom Current wordcount: 37,063 Well I have simply just given up.

Too many other things to get done.

I realized this last week as I got to the 37,000 word mark. I sat down one day and wrote about a 100 words and realized I had lost my steam. Sure, I could just keep writing and pump out garbage, but my plot is important to me, and I didn’t have the time to doctor it.

So now it sits still in the final moments where I left it.

I mean, I suppose it’s not that bad for a plot to sit for a while. I need to think it through and plot it out to get to where I want the story to go. This is what happens when you try to write in some over-arching imagery themes into a piece that you literally have no time to write. My bad, I suppose.

If you’re interested in writing for The Cascade in January, come to Monday’s meeting at 10 a.m. in room C1429. Or email editor in chief Nick Ubels (nick@ufvcascade.ca) or managing editor Amy Van Veen (amy@ufvcascade. ca). Or visit us in room C1027. The options are endless.

Film Review Red Dawn JEREMY HANNAFORD

CONTRIBUTOR

In the history of war, there have been many forms of resistance groups. France had the French Resistance, Vietnam had the Vietcong – and fictional America has a bunch of gun-toting teenagers calling themselves the Wolverines.

Filled with mismatched proAmerican bravado, young innocence forever changed by war and an underwhelming force fighting against unsurpassable odds, the Red Dawn remake starring Chris Hemsworth is as every bit noncynical as the 1984 original starring Patrick Swayze. But as similar as it tries to be, it is different in the core ideals which prove lacking in this film. Exchanging the sneaky but open minded Russians with a one dimensional North Korean armada, Red Dawn not only changes its villain in both country and emotionality, but they also change the character and the authenticity of the teenagers.

The one thing that the original film had going despite its unbelievable characters was that they lived in a semi-realistic environment. They weren’t the best soldiers because they were just kids, they were always low on food, they were vulnerable and they got cold during the winter. None of these elements exist in the remake.

No one gets cold, they always seem well prepared, and the few deaths that do occur are unimportant. This is due in part to some very poor editing. In literally one montage, the teens go from weak and scared individuals to highlytrained guerrilla soldiers. The use of quick editing is a luxury that

Red Dawn completely overuses.

The cuts in between action sequences are erratic and confusing and cause a loss of intensity.

First time director Dan Bradley’s lack of experience leaks through into the story as the film primarily consists of montages and quick cuts. The teenagers are never really given time to adapt to their new environment or display any form of loss or grief besides a little teary face here or there. Another point to be taken from the original was that despite being semi-

successful guerrilla soldiers, they were getting picked off like flies.

In the remake, characters seem to die only when Bradley feels like it should happen and it gives nowhere near as much emotional impact as it should because either we don’t even remember the name of the character or the editing was so poorly executed that the loss has literally no effect.

The film’s dialogue screams American patriotism throughout, but rarely is any truly shown or displayed. Even the name of Wol-

verines isn’t explained unless you remember that one of the teens played on the high school football team. The name and meaning of “Wolverines” was described and maintained in the original. The remake uses it merely because it was in the original. They don’t explain or even seem to care why they just call themselves the Wolverines.

The lack of conviction is troubling when these kids are supposed to be fighting for their homes and they can’t even seem to find a decent way to build their characters.

At one point in the film, there is a prisoner uprising and someone just so happens to have a giant American flag attached to a pole and is leading the charge. This is the most patriotic shot in the whole film and it is entirely laughable at how forced it is. Everything else is forced and contrived rather than constructed and displayed.

Red Dawn was a pro-American film that was released in the closing days of the Cold War. A remake of it in this generation is both unnecessary and self-degrading.

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 28, 2012

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ARTS & LIFE

The Evens

Jessica Pratt

Jessica Pratt

Crystal Castles (III)

DragonForce

Are punk rockers meant to grow old?

Punk rockers, who established themselves in a subculture of live-fast-die-young, usually flame out in some spectacular disaster. While many of his contemporaries have either pushed forward or hung it up, 50-year-old Ian MacKaye, lead singer of the currently inactive Fugazi, has changed the formula. He and Amy Farina, his wife and drummer in The Evens recorded The Odds, an album that sounds a bit like Mackaye’s former bands reduced to a simmer. Though the hardcore elements of his music have been reduced, Mackaye’s politically-charged lyrics are as potent as ever. The catchy lead single “King of Kings” has the loudest punk-inspired outbursts of the album. The song feels like a grassroots protest “another street without a light,” “another dream without a night” against social inequality. A low-key affair, The Odds is a punk record dressed up in pop clothing. Going against the grain of the seemingly unavoidable reverb-drench rock or shimmering synth pop of modern indie rock, The Evens opt for a strippeddown, radically minimal production. With little distracting studio gloss, the leftover negative space adds to the album’s rough edge and feeling of shared intimacy, rather than subtract from it.

San Francisco folk chanteuse Jessica Pratt has the kind of singularly beautiful and unorthodox voice that does not demand attention, but draws it in with a kind of quiet, warbling intensity. On her contemplative and utterly gorgeous debut, Pratt allows her remarkable voice, melancholic fingerpicked acoustic guitar and timeless, jazz-informed song writing speak for itself. This record is unadorned and simplified to the point that production feels more like an afterthought, some tracks bathing in ambient room sound but never overcome by the echo or reverb that often hides others’ lacklustre singing. The slight imperfections, from the occasionally buzzing guitar strings and delicately half-whistled lyric on “Casper,” are charming in a homespun, well-worn sort of way. Pratt’s music channels a certain dark complexity that, paired with a childlike sense of wonder, brings to mind the doomed beauty of Nick Drake. This is an album that plays a lot like its cover art: a stark, but inviting black-and-white portrait, comfortably close-up and honest, with an infinite gaze, like a dispatch from some distant time or place. It’s not a retro pastiche, but a world that plays by its own rules, existing on it’s own plane outside of strictly contemporary concerns. Pratt’s self-titled album is dark, self-assured, cosmic yet intimate, haunting, meditative, secluded, sylvan, tranquil and uniquely spellbinding.

Every point is a point of no return, crashing violently into the next, and yet, Crystal Castles’ (III) also contains the impulse, however resisted, to repair – between Alice Glass’s pristine/distorted voice and Ethan Kath’s rhythmic/dissonant production there is the paradoxical urgency to embody the frequently phrased level of “purity,” announced clearly from within the noise of “Plague.” Glass’s voice exists both as a register to be manipulated and a force separate, working against the surrounding dance/clamour, screaming while drowned under furious electronic waves, emerging to deliver, at times, deliberate, unimpeded lyrics. On “Kerosene” it’s pitched as frontal accelerated, while Glass maintains the line of “I’ll protect you from all the things I’ve seen,” a desire both conflicted and unattainable, yet within Crystal Castles’ changeable structures convincing as musical ideal – broken by the omni-register “you can’t disguise” of the driving “Sad Eyes” but seemingly confirmed by the alternately soothing “Affection.” If the cumulative layers render most of Glass’s words indecipherable, there remains the tug of motion, the flow of syllables and tone to break against digital seams as on “Transgender” – it’s the sound of the words that matters, an approach that culminates in the inanimate/living finality/circularity of “Child I Will Hurt You.”

When bands have their lead singer leave, it usually leads to drastic changes, whether it’s changing the band name, changing their style of play, or even disbanding. For DragonForce, they went with none of the above. With a new lead singer in tow, the band best known for having “The Hardest song on Guitar Hero” unleash a new album of fast-paced fury for all power metal fans who want a dose of speed.

With familiar sounding tracks such as “Fallen World,” or a fresh take that’ll make you want to drop whatever is in your hands, pick up a Viking hammer, and storm over hills for power and glory which is the case when “Cry Thunder” starts to play. And while they still have the usual seven-minute long song, there’s only one this time around.

While this is a difference, it’s still an excellent album that flows well and sounds familiar while still proving the growth and diversity they’ve displayed in recent years. Definitely check The Power Within out if you want to give your fingers an air guitar workout, or if you want to unleash your inner 10th century soldier.

TIM UBELS

NICK UBELS

MICHAEL SCOULAR

TREVOR BRAUN

Mini Album Reviews

SoundBites

The Odds

The Power Within

Album Review Rihanna – Unapologetic ADESUWA OKOYOMON

CONTRIBUTOR

After Rihanna bestowed the riches of Loud upon us, I doubted she could get any louder. Then she gave us Talk That Talk. Now, sultry Barbados queen Robyn Rihanna Fenty has released Unapologetic, her seventh album in seven years and best believe it is louder and more lecherous.

Music and words are a double act; it is almost like a cruel joke.

I find that if you listen to a song intently, you begin to believe that the words are saying something to you, like the lyrics were crafted purely for you. Risqué Rihanna however, seems to be telling the whole world one thing; whatever she does “ain’t nobody’s business.”

Unapologetic comprises a mixture of genres, and kicks off with “Fresh out the Runaway,” a hard-hitting club song which introduces us to the confident Rihanna we’ve come to love. With the heavy bass beat, Rihanna tells us that she’s “rolling like rock stars” and that her “jewels is diamond.” The second song on the album “Diamonds,” does not sound like something Rihanna would sing. For whatever odd reason, I identify the song with Evanescence. Yet “Diamonds” is a

personal favourite – it is a beautiful song with inspiring lyrics.

Her third song “Numb” features Eminem, and even though it is a club mix and not an emotional song like their previous hit “Love the way you lie,” anything with Eminem is perfection. “Pour It Up,” the next track on her album, a club song produced by “Mike Will Made It” does not exactly say a lot in the two minutes and 42 seconds that she uses to talk about “dollar signs” “strippers” and balling out.

The fifth track, “Loveeeee song” is an R&B song which features rapper and auto-tune god, Future and all they need is “love and affection.” If “Rude Boy,” “S&M” and “Birthday Cake” haven’t proven to the world that Rihanna is really a good girl gone bad (who has no intention of going good again) then “Jump,” the sixth song, is sure to do that; it’s a raunchy dub step mix that bids us to jump in her saddle and ride her pony. Alright RihRih. “Right Now,” the seventh song on her album, is a club and techno mix featuring David Guetta which proposes living in the moment.

The eighth track on her album, “What Now” is another personal favourite. It introduces us to vulnerable Miss Fenty. Rihanna belts out a beautiful ballad about being

confused and in love. We get more of her vulnerable side in her ninth song, “Stay,” featuring Mikky Eko. This wonderful ballad slows things down and has Miss Rih talking about being in a relationship and wanting the object of her affection to stay even though she’s not “really sure how to feel about it.”

Tenth on the album is “Nobody’s Business” featuring ex-boyfriend Chris Brown; it’s a disco pop song that samples Michael Jackson’s “The way you make me feel.” Although many critics have zoomed in on the fact that Rihanna chooses to feature ex-boyfriend CB who abused her on a track, I just want to point out that it really is “nobody’s business” what the singer chooses to do.

“Love Without Tragedy/Mother Mary” comes right after the Rihanna and Chris Brown duet, in spite of its mid-tempo beat and melodious mixture of strings, it is hard not to associate it with her relationship with Chris Brown. It is a personal song that takes things down a notch once again. “Get It Over With,” the 12th song on her album, is a laid-back song that anyone can unwind to. If you’re wondering what happened to reggae Rihanna, wonder no more. The 13th track on

her album, “No Love Allowed” is a feel-good reggae song that is similar to “Man Down” from her 2010 album Loud. Rihanna brings things to an end with a chilled-out song titled “Lost In Paradise” which is what you will be after listening to Rihanna’s seventh album. Although some songs might require

more than one listen to be appreciated, one thing is certain; Barbados hot tamale Rihanna is amazing and always will be.

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ARTS & LIFE

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 28, 2012

Film Review Life of Pi MICHAEL SCOULAR

THE CASCADE

CHARTS

1 2

Teen Daze The Inner Mansions

The Parish Of Little Clifton Portia

3

The Tranzmitors Concrete Depression b/w A Little Bit Close

4 5 6

Shuffle ADAM ROPER

CIVL DJ/ROUGH RIDER

When Adam Roper isn’t touring through Montreal on a chic red scooter he can be heard every Tuesday from 3pm-4pm on CIVL Here are a few selections from his vast French-Canadian. music collection.

Fist City It’s 1983 Grow Up

Japandroids Celebration Rock

D-Sisive Jonestown 3. The Dream Is Over

7 8

Miles Jones The Jones Act III

OK Vancouver OK Escape the Common People

9

The Intelligence Everybody’s Got it Easy But Me

10 11 12

The Spits The Spits

Hermetic Civilized City The Babies Our House on the Mill

13 14 15

The Lytics They Told Me Phono D’Enfant Ragged Chute Blues

Andy Shauf The Bearer Of Bad News

16 17 18

Sex With Strangers Behaviours Sex Church Somnambulist

The Cardboard Nationals Its Wonderful Light in Pictures

L’Indice – “Si c’est ça l’amour” You could say L’Indice is a francophone equivalent to Rich Aucoin – an artist who creates epic choruses with strained vocals and demanding percussion, perfect for that fall bicycle ride to the park you’ve been meaning to take.

Peter Peter – “Carrousel” This is perhaps one of French Canada’s most earnest sounding songwriters. Not one to take a break-up or unrequited love too personally, Peter Peter instead chooses to translate precious emotion into memorable pop-rock.

Les Soeurs Boulay – “Mappemonde” This charming folk duo just signed a deal with the prestigious Quebec label Grosse Boite (home to Coeur de Pirate, Bernard Adamus, and Le Husky among others). Look forward to their first full length in Spring 2013.

Alaclair Ensemble – “Trace De Break” French Canadian hip-hop doesn’t have to sound terribly cheesy – it really doesn’t. This electro hip hop troupe’s growing catalogue of collaborators, rivaling the West Coast’s Sweatshop Union collective, is proof enough.

There isn’t a counter to its message Life of Pi hasn’t worked out a response to, posited within a conceit of simple, childlike storytelling, but effective more as a silencer of anything but conditioned awe.

Spending most of its first third on a belaboured situation within a realistic, Canadian setting, Pi (Irrfan Khan) tells his tale to a prospective author (Rafe Spall) with a dignified mysticism, with the pretense, in response to the claim that “I was told you had a story that would make me believe in God,” of “I will tell you my story, you decide what you want to believe.” It’s a statement of defence, of the possibility of openness, but Life of Pi proves by its action and its use of words to be an isolated, closed experience.

Religion has more meanings than can be discussed here, but Life of Pi makes it easy by plucking the most superficial, meaningless one. That is, religion as a set of tenants and stereotypes (Hindus have a lot of gods, Christians ornamental churches, Muslims the multiple daily prayers and journey to Mecca, Buddhists an affinity for simplicity, non-confrontation, and rice) without any inquiry into the actual thought and complicated searching that goes on within the parameters of any doctrine. For a film to not be able to render real the most untouchable of impulses – belief wouldn’t be a crippling problem, except that David Magee’s script never lets us forget this is the foremost thing Life of Pi is concerned with. Excruciatingly detailed voiceover tells a life story in a way that can only have come from a literary source, gathering strength of authority by listing, rather than being, an approach summed up in a montage of young Pi flipping through literature for meaning, comprised of close-ups of book covers – Dostoevsky, Camus, name dropping as shortcut to significance. At one point, Pi’s story is shown to leave his listener speechless, a pointless inclusion that is self-ingratiating and nothing more. Fielding questions of plausibility and thematic resonance, Life of Pi’s framing device isn’t a single misstep but a pointer to the whole. For a recent example, where in Looper engagement with an audience through extra textual dialogue was a necessary clearing away, directing attention, in Life of Pi it is condescending, shallow and altogether ineffectual.

Aesthetics are where Pi finds religion (comic books, carvings, paintings, the appearance of ritual), and perhaps the defence for Life of Pi rests in that even if

its words are generally awful, it speaks the language of belief in visuals. Director Ang Lee (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Hulk) goes fully digital, giving the earlier segments of conversational visits the sheen of home video carelessness and making the deliberately symmetrical story of “art” within resemble a particularly lengthy video game cut scene. Surely James Cameron is to thank for part of this, but Lee and cinematographer Claudio Miranda (of the similarly sterile Tron: Legacy) revel in the ease of copy-pasted unphysical creation, limited only by the frequent recurrence of “gorgeous” shots of glassy, reflective water surfaces and its rainbow-spectrum CG creatures in heroic arrangements. A thousand dolphins here and a million meerkats there just because it can be done, an over-determined glow of point-and-click composition to every shot, is the visual ethic here. In Life of Pi’s first intrusion of digitally-possible long takes and magical happenstance, the effect isn’t as tiresome, but as a storm rocks a boat, and the camera latches onto the hull, the obvious is made even more so – Ang Lee’s money shot swimming pool would be perfectly suited to being the installed video component of an amusement park ride.

Cast away stories are nothing new, certainly not as worked for

the screen here, and religious statements certainly less so. Perhaps ones designed to be in 3D with objects flying at the screen (there’s even an aspect ratio shift at one point to accommodate more depth of said projectiles) could be said to be, but Life of Pi doesn’t stop there.

Along with its spectacle, Life of Pi is another dreadful “Why we tell stories” story, gravely dishing out the hard truth, even as it invokes and makes use of Pavlovian conditioning and cynical “for your enjoyment” mockery – it either can’t see through its own disguise or is very near to insidious in its children’s book pontificating.

Your own opinion on religion, art and digital versus traditional means will determine a lot of what is perceived with this movie, but Life of Pi is in a major way an undeniable work. A dream of open dialogue never exists here – this is authoritative, blaring choir, camera as battering ram Message moviemaking. While its focus might purport to be expansive, and its beacon universal, Life of Pi is completely alone, a soulless environment – a movie that inspires no reflection. In its “beauty,” the best description would not be pop-art, and it can’t be simply dismissed as faux-art; it’s just easily comprehensible art, art with an endpoint, the worst and least active of all.

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 28, 2012

www.ufvcascade.ca

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ARTS & LIFE

Dine & Dash Mitch Miller’s 33758 Essendene Avenue Abbotsford, BC 604-853-2425 Prices: up to $33 Hours: Monday to Thursday, 10 a.m. to 9:30 p.m.; Friday to Saturday 10 a.m. to 10 p.m.; Sunday 9 a.m. to 2:30 p.m.

AMY VAN VEEN

THE CASCADE

A Canadian grill, you say? Well, all right. I can buy that.

The amount of seafood featured on the dinner menu showcases the pride and joy of West Coast cuisine. Their excellent dinner menu is leaning on the side of $33 of the spectrum, but the rest of their menu—especially the lunch size options—is $15 and under. It should be noted, too, that a lunch size version of their rice bowls required a take-home box.

The main portion of the menu

includes lunch size options of sandwiches, pastas, salads and rice bowls all for under $15. There are also some other goodies like perogies and chicken strips for around $12 and poutine—a classic part of any Canadian grill menu—for $6.50.

As much as their dinner specialty menu may make me hide my wallet, the appetizers make my mouth water – bacon-wrapped steak chunks and grilled asparagus with bacon? I am definitely returning for more.

Additionally, this Canadian grill serves local Domaine de Chaberton wine – a choice Fraser Valley option.

For those who also have that frustrating gluten-free diet that makes them feel like the downer in a group of friends deciding where to eat, choose Mitch Miller’s. Their menu, as large as it is on its own, also includes a variety of glutenfree options including, surprisingly, gluten-free gravy.

Upon entering this local restau-

Book Review

House of Holes: a porno so smutty it turns you off sex NADINE MOEDT

THE CASCADE

If Dr. Seuss wrote porn, House of Holes would be it. Imagine a cross between Alice in Wonderland and the smuttiest low-down porno you’ve ever seen. Nicholson Baker, author of the infamous Vox and The Fermata, has “elevated pornography to a literary level” according to the Chicago Sun-Times. Recommended by CNN and Time Magazine, the book had promise, but I was left feeling a bit unsatisfied.

House of Holes is series of short stories or vignettes loosely woven together by the setting: the House of Holes, an absurd and almost sinister sex house that satisfies the most vulgar desires. There’s no real plot, no character development and no subtlety, unless I’m missing something. Perhaps I was distracted by the man serenely fucking a field (i.e. a mole hole in a field) or by the couples watching themselves in the Porndecahedron.

While I didn’t find anything in the book particularly arousing, Baker’s terminology was of interest and certainly expanded my vocabulary. Names for the human anatomy sounded like they came straight from the most blue balled of 13-year-old boys: “Big stiff fleshbone,” “gloryhole fucker” and “twinklestump” to name a few. I laughed out loud more than a few times. The onomatopoeia Baker employs is wickedly creative. It really brought sex alive for me—not necessarily in a good way—giving it more of a clownish flavour.

The farcical dialogue adds to the rather unsexy humour. As a pickup line a man says to a sales woman he wishes he were “a man who had a store where he made custom sequin pasties for exotic dancers and you were an exotic dancer and came in to the store and ordered a set of spiral pasties and so I had to measure your aureoles for fit.”

“How would you measure them, with a ruler?” the woman asks. “‘Probably with my mouth” he says, “and then I’d measure my mouth with the ruler.’” It didn’t do anything for me, but it was better than “I have half-a-pound of prime Angus cockbrisket ready for you.”

The characters get to the House of Holes through a rabbit-type hole of some sort: golf holes, bodily holes, holes in the tip of a pen.

At that point they tell the administrator—the mother-like Lila— what they want. A normal request reads as follows: “He wanted them all to be on their knees on couches and chairs with their asses up and ready, and their slippy sloppy fuckfountains on display. He’d walk in front of them holding his generous kindly forgiving dick, saying, ‘Do you want this ham steak of a Dr. Dick that’s so stuffed with spunk that I’m ready to blow this swollen sackload all over you?’ And they’d all say, ‘Yes Mr. Fuckwizard, we want that fully spunkloaded meatloaf of a ham steak of a dick.’”

These requests are filled dutifully and all sex is weirdly and enthusiastically consensual.

At first the descriptions of the silly smut amused me. It had everything from bestiality (“I’m into animals,” I read, “especially horses, beautiful strong brown stallions with very glossy coats and six-pack abs, I think about washing the ends of their long penises with a soft cloth and watching them sniff at a mare and nip her neck, and I think about getting them ready to mount the breeding mount”) to sex with dismembered sex organs. But one soon becomes desensitized, and bored. The book is surprisingly and disappointingly heterosexist, hinting that there might be a bit of prudishness in Mr. Baker after all.

It seemed to me House of Holes is a lot of creative friction and not much actual climax.

Image: Amy Van Veen/The Cascade

Mitch Miller’s sits in the heart of downtown Abbotsford. rant overlooking the intersection of Essendene and Montrose, one feels like part of the Abbotsford community. It’s easy to see Abbotsford as a collection of isolated neighbourhoods or a place where commuting students pass through for a quick bite before and after classes, but the historic downtown has its own rhythm. There’s the martial arts place across the street,

Hemingway’s offering a haven of used books and that bench sculpture with three men. These are the things people know and recognize about Abbotsford’s downtown – and Mitch Miller’s is a major part of that.

It’s one of those restaurants where you can dress up and have a glass of wine at the candlelit tables, or you can stroll in wearing

jeans and work boots and get a satisfying meal. It’s without pretense but full of character. The servers offer friendly conversation, the music offers a classic playlist that you find yourself singing along to without realizing it, and the presence of a Christmas tree is actually appreciated instead of despised.

Their food, though, takes the cake. I ordered the tomato coconut curry rice bowl and it was like a flavourful embrace of quality goodness. The pyramid of curry soaked, freshly steamed vegetables sits there like a work of art – a delicious work of art. A big pet peeve of mine is when restaurants skimp on vegetables – that’s the good stuff! But this rice bowl gave me more than enough nutrients for my daily serving.

Whether it’s a lunch size serving of deliciousness or a bowl of alcohol infused ice cream—such as champagne and strawberry— Mitch Miller’s has something to offer everyone and anyone.

Discussions Below the Belt Foods that make you feel Casanova-sexy

The king of all seafood aphrodisiacs: the oyster.

LADY ORACLE

THE CASCADE

Was Casanova’s success in seducing women the result of a libido enhanced by aphrodisiacs? The famed 18th century lover took 122 women to bed and also ate 50 raw oysters, known aphrodisiacs, every morning. Cum hoc ergo propter hoc? I think so.

An aphrodisiac by definition is an element that arouses or intensifies sexual desire. To be a real aphrodisiac it has to actually create desire. Drugs such as Viagra do not fall into this category. There is still a myth going around that food shaped like sexual organs are aphrodisiacs. I guess they go something like: “I’m going to eat this carrot/cucumber/banana resembling an erect penis and receive special sexual powers from it.”

There really is no truth behind this myth – but erect vegetables are healthy, so you weren’t wasting your time, people. According to the U.S. Food and Drug Association (FDA), aphrodisiacs have no scientific basis. There are, however, several studies that have found

differently.

Here are three lesser known aphrodisiacs you might want to consider adding to your diet for an increased libido: Watermelon. In his 2008 study, Dr. Bhimu Patil found a Viagralike effect that this fruit has on the body. Watermelon, scientists discovered, contain high amounts of citrulline, a plant nutrient that can relax blood vessels thereby improving blood flow (in a similar way to Viagra’s active ingredient).

The difference is that citrulline is not as organ specific; watermelon has beneficial effects on the cardiovascular and immune systems as well. Citrulline is more concentrated in the rind of the fruit, so pop a piece in the blender for a smoothie.

Oysters. Oysters have enjoyed reputation for being a particularly potent aphrodisiac, perhaps a result of resembling the female genitalia. While there’s no scientific evidence that these mollusks have properties that boost libido, a study by George Fisher, professor of chemistry at Barry University,

Image: bodyandsoul.com.au

Miami, found that oysters have some other helpful qualities when it comes to sexual performance.

Oysters are high in zinc, a mineral essential to the maintenance of healthy sperm and in the production of testosterone. High zinc content has been shown to fight erectile dysfunction. Think raw oysters aren’t sexy? Try Casanova’s method: “I placed the shell on the edge of her lips and after a good deal of laughing, she sucked in the oyster, which she held between her lips.

I instantly recovered it by placing my lips on hers.”

Hot peppers. Eating spicy foods such as cayenne and other chili peppers generate a physiological response similar to that of desire.

The active ingredient, capsaicin, causes an increase in heart rate and breathing, sweating and increased blood flow that mimics the body’s response to sexual arousal. Interestingly, another reported effect of eating large quantities of chili peppers is an irritation of the genitals and urinary tract that could feel similar to sexual excitement.

So go ahead. Have a feast.

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WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 28, 2012

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SPORTS & HEALTH

UFV Legends

Chantelle Biagioni and Donna Pinning PAUL ESAU

voting yourself completely with these girls that have become your family. Honestly it’s the team that has kept me here all five years.

They are amazing!

DP: The dynamic of the team is huge.

The girls and the coaches really make the difference. But also, the feeling of winning!

After all the time and hard work you invest in your sport!

THE CASCADE

The athletics program here at the University of the Fraser Valley has become very successful in recent years, giving many student athletes the opportunity to compete at the highest levels of sport and play against some of the top universities across Canada. Some of these athletes have made UFV their home for the last five years, leading up to their graduation this coming spring.

For our women’s varsity soccer program, goalkeeper Chantelle Biagioni and defenceman Donna Pinning have left their mark at UFV. After five years of growth and achievement, they’ve decided to put up their cleats and move on to the next chapter of their lives. With graduation slowly approaching, it was the perfect opportunity to reflect on their history, highlights, and future plans beyond the green and white jersey.

Tell me about your history, where are you from and where did you play before UFV? CB: I’m from Pitt Meadows and I’ve lived there my whole life. I played for Surrey United prior to signing with the Cascades.

DP: I was born and raised in Chilliwack and I still live there. I began playing soccer when I was 13-years-old for Chilliwack FC and continued to play there for my entire youth soccer career.

What has been your favourite memory being on this particular team?

CB: To be completely honest, I can’t think of one single favourite memory. There have been so many memories that will be with me forever whether it was a happy, sad or accomplished memory. But, if I had to choose one, it would be seeing my younger sister in goal winning a bronze medal at Nationals in a shootout against Montreal. Not only was I so proud of my team, and the accomplishment we had just achieved, I was so unbelievably proud of my little sister, who had seen no league games up to that point and absolutely killed it!

DP: If it has to be just one, it would be going to Nationals and getting to sing when we won bronze (after every win, our team

What have you most appreciated about being a part of UFV? CB: For me, it would again have to be the atmosphere. I feel a sense of comfort here at UFV and that it is the best setting I could ever have while working on my degree.

DP: I appreciate how much I developed as an athlete and as an individual. I’ve learned a lot about myself and what I can put myself through to achieve what I want.

Images:Tree Frog Imaging

Chantelle Biagioni.

Donna Pinning.

sings “Lean On Me,” but that one time was like no other).

goals for our team. It’s the push from the coaching staff that pushes the players.

How have you seen the team grow or improve during your time here?

CB: Since I’ve started with the team, I’ve seen so many changes going from a senior team to a young team and changes in skill.

I think the biggest change I have seen is the growth of the team becoming a family. The girls and staff on this team become a huge part of your life, seeing them every day and seeing each other at some of your most vulnerable moments. It’s amazing and this team is really an awesome thing to be a part of.

DP: Coach Rob has done a great job at recruiting and improving our team as a whole and players as individuals are becoming more developed through the program. He has done a great job in-season and off-season training. He keeps striving to improve the team physically and mentally; through our off-season workouts and with setting

What has, in your opinion, been the team’s biggest accomplishment during your time at UFV? CB: The biggest accomplishment our team has had was winning the Canada West Championship and finishing third at the Nationals in P.E.I. back in 2010.

DP: The biggest accomplishment was winning Canada West and then receiving bronze at Nationals. I’m proud to be part of the first team from UFV to ever accomplish that. But I think there’s future opportunity for the team to achieve the same, if not better, in the next couple years.

What is it that has kept you playing soccer through your university career? What do you love about it?

CB: The atmosphere! Just being a part of something so big with a group of people, sharing the same goals and ideas and de-

In one sentence, what is the most important piece of advice you have for students of UFV? CB: Don’t let the time pass you by, it goes faster than you think!

DP: It’s a quote that our coach used to tell us . . .

“If you don’t invest very much, then defeat doesn’t hurt very much and winning is not very exciting.” ~Dick Vermeil [former NFL coach] I think that it can be related to everything you do in sports and life in general.

And finally, where are you going from here?

CB: I have future soccer aspirations that I am working towards at the moment. I want to continue playing at a competitive level and at the moment, I’m playing with the premier team in Burnaby.

DP: From here, I graduate in April. I’m hoping to be accepted into the T.E.P. program here, starting in July, to become an elementary school teacher. [I’ll] hopefully add in some travelling, whether for teaching or just to explore.

One night of fun, one lifetime of problems TAYLOR JOHNSON THE CASCADE

Ask almost any student on campus how they unwind during this stressful time of year and most will respond with “a few friends, a good drink and a place to party!” With holidays and the end of semester right around the corner, there is all the more reason for students to cast aside the textbook and get out their party shoes.

Jagermeister and Vodka are typical party members who mix well with pop, juices, energy drinks and, in recent headlines, nitrogen gas. No longer are Rum and Coke or Vodka Seven the popular party drinks, but instead Jägerbombs, Vodka Redbulls and Nitro Jagermeisters.

The problem is, liquid nitrogen isn’t exactly as benign as orange juice. Not by a long shot.

The highly reactive gas has potentially dangerous effects, and its consumption led to one young U.K. girl, Gabby Scanlon, having her stomach removed – a surgery which her doctor reported to the Daily Mail saved her life. What

caused this healthy 18-year-old’s stomach to virtually explode at her birthday celebration? No, not a combination of drugs or medication, but a highly reactive gas used for preserving liver tissue. Her drink of choice was a Nitro Jagermeister, a spooky-looking martini, which if infused properly with nitrogen creates a stunning visual effect. Cloudy vapours pour over the side of the glass, while subzero temperatures chill the drink instantly. It sounds like a cool drink to enjoy on a night out with friends, however nitrogen vapours are not meant to be consumed.

Dr. Robert A. Enns is a clinical professor of medicine in the division of gastroenterology. He also works on various committees and editorial boards in regards to gastroenterology. He studied medicine at UBC and specialized at the University in Calgary. For the last 15 years he has been practicing at St. Paul’s Hospital, UBC. His other areas of expertise are therapeutic endoscopy, which he studied at Duke University, technology advancement and clinical research.

Dr. Enns stated that liquid nitrogen freezes any tissue it comes

A long row of Jägerbombs. For science! on contact with, like your tongue or esophagus. It also releases vapours and expands up to one thousand times its original size. These vapours, he states, can expand within the stomach. After a meal or consumption of drinks there may be little space for more pressure in the stomach. In extreme cases, the expansion can possibly cause a gastrointestinal perforation, the tearing of the stomach

Image: Bexinc/Flickr

walls. Stomach acid can then leak out of the stomach and cause serious damage to the surrounding area. Dr. Enns recommends that the consumption of nitrogen gas be avoided.

While nitrogen cocktails are not as widely available here in Canada, popular drinks like Jägerbombs and Vodka Redbull can be equally as dangerous. Dr. Enns also warns that energy drinks by themselves

contain high levels of caffeine which increases blood pressure and heart rate. Combined with alcohol, those risks are multiplied.

Increased heart rate can result in tachycardia, a dramatic increase in resting heart rate to over 100 beats per minute. Dr. Enns states that with high blood pressure and heart rate there comes many other health risks which may arise. His main concern, however, is the immediate effects of combining alcohol with high levels of caffeine.

Alcohol, he states, results in a loss of inhibitions. While high levels of caffeine result in an increase of alertness, the combination can lead a person to feel more able then they actually are. They may feel they can do things, such as drive; however the alcohol has tainted their judgement and that can lead to accidents.

With holiday events right around the corner, it’s important to stay safe and enjoy the holidays wisely.

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 28, 2012

www.ufvcascade.ca

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SPORTS & HEALTH

Cascades roll over prairie foes J. TIMMER

THE CASCADE

The University of the Fraser Valley men’s and women’s basketball teams were at it again this weekend at the Envision Athletic Centre (EAC) for their final home games before the winter break.

The season has seen both squads exceeding expectations and drawing national attention for their success.

In the early Friday game the women’s team made a point in setting the tone early and often as they raced out to a quick doubledigit lead and never looked back to earn a 15 point, 66-51 victory over the visiting Manitoba Bisons.

The outcome never seemed in doubt for the veteran Cascades squad who put on a fast break clinic, using tough defence to lead to easy layups on the offensive end of the floor. By the half, head coach Al Tuchscherer was able to move deeper into his bench and give his starters a rest. After the game, third-year guard Tessa Hart commented, “It was a good opportunity to get the younger players in and experience a high tempo game. Those are players that we need to be able to contribute in big games.”

Leading the Cascades on this night was third-year forward Sarah Wierks with 18 points, followed by a good contribution by guard Celeste Dyck who had 10 points

Image: Blake McGuire/The Cascade

Cascade Kevon Parchment had a 28-point game against Manitoba. and nine rebounds.

The late game on Friday featured the eighth nationally ranked men’s Cascades team taking on the unranked University of Manitoba Bisons basketball team. In an entertaining matchup the Cascades managed to pull ahead 38-29 at half. The game went back and forth, with the home town squad never really being able to put the upstart visitors away for good until late in the fourth quarter. The Cascades finished the game with an 83-59 victory but there was no satisfaction in the win in the home team’s locker room. “We came out flat as a team, there was very little energy from the guys tonight,” stated assistant coach Brian Crowe. He continued “We

have potential to be a very dangerous team, but we need to bring more energy from the start of the game.” It speaks volumes of a team when they can come out with a 24-point win and feel like they did not come close to touching their potential.

Leading the home squad was second-year transfer Kevon Parchment and second-year guard Nathan Kendall. Parchment contributed 28 points, seven rebounds, six assists and four steals; simply put, it was a monster effort. The most impressive Cascade of the night had to be Nathan Kendall, who—despite being drastically undersized to play the forward spot—put up 13 points and hauled in 10 rebounds for the double-

Scoreboard

double.

Also noteworthy is that fifthyear stars Kyle Grewal and Sam Freeman were relatively quiet all night. Freeman looked like the walking dead with sports tape seemingly holding him together for the duration of the game. Despite putting up a respectable 18 points Freeman looked like he had to battle to get up and down the floor every possession. Grewal finished the night without a point to his name and just four rebounds. Teams have taken to double and triple teaming Grewal in recent weekends, which has influenced his effectiveness. It will be key for the Cascades to find a way to put Grewal to better use, as he is a player who is capable of putting up All-Canadian type numbers. Once the Cascades can begin to utilize Grewal more effectively it would not be a stretch to say that men’s team could be taking another run at a national title this spring.

On Saturday the Cascades women edged the University of Winnipeg Wesmen 60-52, while our “green men” beat their “Wes men” 68-62.

The next weekend that both teams play at the Envision Athletic Centre is January 11 and 12. For some cheap (free for UFV students) entertainment, come on down and check out your Cascades men’s and women’s basketball teams.

Last week’s scores Basketball Men

Nov. 23 UFV vs Manitoba W 83-59

Nov. 24 UFV vs. Winnipeg W 68-62

Women

Nov. 16 UFV vs. Manitoba W 83-59

Nov. 17 UFV vs Winnipeg W 68-62

Volleyball Men

Nov. 23 UFV vs. Douglas L 0-3

Nov. 24 UFV vs. Douglas L 1-3

Women

Nov. 16 UFV vs. Douglas W 3-0

Nov. 17 UFV vs. Douglas W 3-2

Two wins and an AHL record: Heat cap off a memorable weekend in Texas Quick Facts:

MIKE CADARETTE CONTRIBUTOR

In case being the best team in the AHL isn’t enough to please Heat fans, a professional hockey world record and an AHL record should.

About three weeks ago the Heat set a record for scoring the fastest consecutive goals only three seconds apart. On Saturday, November 24 Heat goalie Barry Brust added to the Heat’s accolades beating Hockey Hall of Famer Johnny Bower’s 55-year-old AHL shutout streak record having not allowed a goal in 268 minutes and 17 seconds (Bower’s record was 249 minutes and 51 seconds).

At this point, setting records are merely icing on the cake for the Heat who won two games in extra time and lost another in overtime on their road trip to Texas. The Heat took home five of a possible six points this weekend, which puts them solely in first place in league-wide standings with 28 points.

On Friday night, the Heat were able to pull off a 1-0 overtime win versus the Texas Stars in what turned out to be a battle between great goaltender. Stars’ netminder Cristopher Nilstorp, who took home third star honours, faced 29 shots from the Heat in the loss.

Heat defenceman Chris Breen would eventually help his goalie, Danny Taylor, preserve his shutout when he blasted a slap shot past Nilstorp just eight seconds

32: The number of goals the Heat have allowed this season

(least in the AHL) 3: The number of shutouts for Barry Brust (T-2nd in the AHL) 8-0-1-1: Heat record at home 20%: Heat conversion rate in the shootout (T-17th) 87.5%: Heat winning percentage when scoring first (2nd in the AHL)

Trending now: #inbrustwetrust into overtime. Overlooked by fellow netminder Barry Brust, Taylor has put up very stingy numbers in the crease with 1.65 goals against average and a .937 save percentage.

On Saturday night, the Heat faced off against the Florida Panthers’ affiliate San Antonio Rampage. The game ended in a thrilling 11-round 3-2 shootout victory for the Heat.

Coming into the game, Barry Brust needed less than one period to break the aforementioned shutout record, which his team helped him achieve by allowing only three shots on net in the first period.

However, that shutout streak would come to an end with four minutes left in the second period

Image: Abbotsford Heat

on a game-tying power play goal from Rampage forward James Wright. Less than two minutes later, the Rampage would take a 2-1 lead after two periods.

Abbotsford was able to pull off a few clutch goals during the game to keep themselves in it. The first clutch goal came in the third period when Heat rookie Ben Olson scored with 14 seconds left in the game to tie it at 2-2. In the shootout, facing a loss, Roman Horak scored the second clutch goal to keep his team alive. Then, in round 11 of the shootout, Carter Bancks scored the 3-2 game winning goal.

The next afternoon the Heat played their third game in less than 48 hours, losing to Minnesota Wild farm team Houston Aeros in

a 3-2 overtime loss.

The Heat would go into the locker room after the first intermission tied 1-1. Olson tied the game a minute and a half after Houston took the lead on a beautiful pass from Paul Byron and Dustin Sylvester.

In the third period, down 2-1, the Heat were able to muster another important goal to force overtime on a point shot from Joe Piskula beating Aeros goalie Matt Hackett.

However, not much of the extra frame was needed. Just five seconds into overtime, Aeros’ Jason Zucker would break into the zone on a two-on-one and put home the game-winning goal.

On the Heat’s half-month long road trip—a road trip in which they faced the Rochester Americans and Toronto Marlies before heading south to Texas—they were able to collect seven of a possible 10 points.

A few Heat players were outstanding this week. Rookie Ben Olson was vital to his team, garnering two important goals on Saturday and Sunday. Olson, who made the Heat out of training camp and earned himself a con-

tract, has been one of the biggest pleasant surprises of the season. If he is able to keep up the pace he has set for himself, he could find himself on a NHL roster at some point. Paul Byron was another important factor getting a goal and an assist and creating a myriad of scoring chances for the Heat.

Defensively, Chris Breen has been as steady as a pillar on the blue line – even chipping in with a rare, but important overtime goal.

Yet, goaltending has been the feature story for the Heat in the early going this season. Barry Brust continues to play lights out leading the AHL in goals against average and save percentage. Danny Taylor is fourth in the league in those same statistical categories.

In fact, Abbotsford has allowed the fewest goals in the AHL, letting in only 32 goals in 18 games.

Given the Heat’s 12-2-2-2 record and setting two records, not much else can go right for Abbotsford’s club at this point.

The Heat will take on Montreal Canadiens’ affiliate Hamilton Bulldogs at home this upcoming weekend on November 30 and December 1.

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SPORTS & HEALTH

PRE SALE TICKETS NOW ON SALE..

/aftermathsocialhouse

@aftermathtoday

Find us in the Envision Athletic Center