The Cascade Vol. 20 No. 19

Vol. 20 Issue. 20

www.ufvcascade.ca

WEDNESDAY, JULY 18, 2012

Smokin’ up with Phelps since 1993

p.12-14 Knitting Olympics - too controversial? p8

The importance of erotica p. 18

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www.ufvcascade.ca

WEDNESDAY, JULY 18, 2012

INSIDE THIS WEEK’S ISSUE News

Opinion

Arts & Life

Sports & Health

Down with van Dongen

Enbridge Analysed

New Horoscopist!

All About Sunscreen

Joe Johnson, seeking to understand the Conservative mind, asks some burning questions of provincial MLA John van Dongen. Joe even caught him reading a copy of The Cascade, if you can believe your eyes...

The Northern Gateway pipeline would have a huge impact on B.C, be it economic or environmental if it were approved. Do you know enough about Enbridge’s plan for B.C.? Nadine Moedt takes a close look at the pipeline and what could be in store for us.

Read more on page 5

Greetings from depths of the Matsqui swamp. I, your ever beloved Swamp Bob, am here to peer through the mists of time and marsh gas to reveal your future. Now, with the assistance of these oddly-coloured berries and a week old 7-11 taquito, I will enter a trance and divine what destiny has in store for you!

Read more on page 7

Read more on page 10

The temperature is rising, and dangerous SPF rays are increasing. Taylor Johnson explains what sunscreen to use, how much to use, when to use it and alternatives if you can’t live without the bronzed look.

Read more on page 23

EDITORIAL

“Nothing Left To Say But Goodbye” PAUL ESAU

THE CASCADE Let me start by admitting that I have mixed feelings about the newspaper issue you hold in your hands.

From one perspective it is a triumph of endurance, reporting, hard work and no small amount of caffeine.

From another, it is a conclusion – not only to The Cascade’s publication for the summer semester and thus an academic year, but also to my term as its editorin-chief.

I’ve been allowed more than my share of self-indulgence in this space over the course of the year, yet I ask your forgiveness one final time. One of the wonderful things about a campus newspaper is that it doesn’t have to fit a certain model or conform to a specific image, and consequently it can embrace a range of perspectives and topics wider than most comparable publications. The secret to successfully embodying this description (as I’ve discovered in the past year) is to build a team which itself fails to conform to a certain model or specific image – a team with individuals coming from and embracing a wide variety of perspectives on a number of topics.

Some might say that this sounds like a recipe for conflict, rather than a functioning newspaper, and it is, or rather it is both. Anytime you gather the variety we have here at The Cascade into a room and initiate a project there

is going to be conflict – the real question is whether it will degenerate into hair-pulling and name-calling or aspire to actual cooperation. This isn’t meant to be a glut of self-congratulating drivel simply because over the past year we’ve avoided causing each other bodily harm (we’re all adults we should be able to get along). But there are lessons I have learned along the way, and several of them I’d like to share with you.

Lesson 1: People who don’t agree with you aren’t always idiots.

It’s easy to validate my opinion by demeaning someone else’s.

It’s quick, it’s extreme and it’s safer for my ego than confronting their argument head on. But the truth is, making fun of an opinion for being conservative or liberal, or originating in a certain religious or ethnic community has nothing to do with the validity of that opinion or the person behind it.

Most people in life are going to be at least as intelligent as you or I, and that means you and I should deal with them in useful, intelligent ways. It’s not as easy (or personally satisfying) as assuming they are morons, but it will get you farther in the world.

Lesson 2: Tolerance is not a long-term solution.

I’ve often been told that university is about tolerance, and I’ve preached about tolerance in my editorials before, but what I’ve

come to realize is that tolerance is an arms-length word which works best with little contact between the idea and the reality. We Cascaders would not be able to spend 12 hours together trying to produce a newspaper every Tuesday if we were merely “tolerant” of each other.

We have had—to greater or lesser degrees—confront issues, dialogue on them, and learn to resolve conflict. Through this we’ve been forced to build actual relationships, even become friends, which greatly decreased the amount of time we’ve had to spend “tolerating” each other.

Tolerance is the reason Westboro baptists are allowed to picket funerals, it is not the foundation of a productive, thriving community.

Lesson 3: Religion has a place in university Many people consider university to be the graveyard of religious conviction, and perhaps, for some, it is the swapping of one devotion for another. Yet, if there is one essential thing I have learned over the past year, it is that with the university experience comes a multitude of circumstances and decisions which no university classroom will prepare you for. In any community workplace, it quickly becomes apparent that personal ethics are at least as important as personal skill, and I have yet to find a secular system of ethics that demands (or justifies the demand for) truth, individual

respect, love and compassion found within Christianity. In learning what I needed to embrace I also learned what I needed to hang on to, and affirmed that religion and university are not incompatible. The answers are out there, and a spiritual perspective is too important to lose.

Build an organization built upon spiritual values and staffed by competent individuals and you will create a functioning, healthy community.

Build one around ruthless—albeit supremely skilled—individuals and they will succeed only in tearing each other apart.

Lesson 4: UFV is a wonderful place I’ve interviewed a lot of interesting people at UFV in the last year, from the University president himself to members of the janitorial staff, and I’ve been astounded at all levels by the cooperation, the enthusiasm and the integrity. When I talk to my friends from different institutions who describe their classes of 300 students, their absent professors and the labyrinthine bureaucracy, I thank my lucky stars that I go to UFV. Of course there are hiccups, funding crunches and waitlist problems, but there is also a talented team of faculty and staff working to make this institution an educational and memorable experience. Thank you Mr. Evered and everyone else at UFV for making this institution what it is.

Volume 20 · Issue 19 Room C1027 33844 King Road Abbotsford, BC V2S 7M8 604.854.4529 Editor-in-Chief esau@ufvcascade.ca Paul Esau Managing Editor ali@ufvcascade.ca Ali Siemens Business Manager joe@ufvcascade.ca Joe Johnson Online Editor michael@ufvcascade.ca Michael Scoular Production Manager stewart@ufvcascade.ca Stewart Seymour Art Director anthony@ufvcascade.ca Anthony Biondi Copy Editor joel@ufvcascade.ca Joel Smart News Editor news@ufvcascade.ca Paul Esau Opinion Editor opinion@ufvcascade.ca Sasha Moedt Arts & Life Editor arts@ufvcascade.ca Jennifer Colbourne Sports Editor sports@ufvcascade.ca Karen Aney Staff Writers Alexei Summers, Nadine Moedt, Paige Hoblak, Taylor Johnson

Contributors Nick Ubels, Tim Ubels, Jess Wind, Daryl Johnson,Katie Tegtmeier, Jeremy Hannaford, Ryan Peterson & Karen Esau

Printed By International WebExpress

UPCOMING EVENTS Aug 23 & 30

Every Wednesday

August 2

Student Orientation

Community Dinners

B.C. Day on Campus

An opportunity to tour the Abbotsford and Chilliwack campuses before the hustle and bustle of the fall semester starts.

Be chaperoned around the building and meet students, faculty and staff. On both days, a diversity luncheon will be held as well.

Until the end of the summer, Baker House residence on the Abbotsford campus is hosting a community dinner for students. From 4 to 6 p.m., enjoy a $2 dinner hosted

by SUS. The next menu item is Butter Chicken on July 18.

Taking place on the Abbotsford Green, Student Life will be throwing their annual B.C. Day celebration. Complete with $2 hamburgers, there will also be lawn games, disc golf, water games (get ready to get wet) and other fun events. Come out and celebrate your province’s birthday with the Student Life team.

Aug 29 - Sept 2 Cirque Du Soleil – “Quidam”

Cirque Du Soleil is coming to Abbotsford and performing 8 shows at the Abbotsford Entertainment Sports Center.

Tickets range from $36 to $85 as well as special pricing for students. Advertising aerial contortion and other gymnast tricks, this promises to be an amazing event.

The Cascade is UFV’s autonomous student newspaper. It provides a forum for UFV students to have their journalism published. It also acts as an alternative press for the Fraser Valley. The Cascade is funded with UFV student funds. The Cascade is published every second Wednesday with a circulation of 1500 and is distributed at UFV campuses and throughout Abbotsford, Chilliwack, and Mission. The Cascade is a member of the Canadian University Press, a national cooperative of 75 university and college newspapers from Victoria to St. John’s. The Cascade follows the CUP ethical policy concerning material of a prejudicial or oppressive nature.

Submissions are preferred in electronic format through e-mail. Please send submissions in “.txt” or “.doc” format only.

Articles and letters to the editor must be typed.

The Cascade reserves the right to edit submissions for clarity and length. The Cascade will not print any articles that contain racist, sexist, homophobic or libellous content. The writer’s name and student number must be submitted with each submission. Letters to the editor must be under 250 words if intended for print. Only one letter to the editor per writer in any given edition.

Opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect that of UFV, Cascade staff and collective, or associated members.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 18, 2012

www.ufvcascade.ca

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NEWS

Rethinking our referendums: SUS learns from mistakes paul esau

THE CASCADE The rules for SUS referendums at UFV just became a lot tougher – and about three times as long.

Last week, the SUS board passed an amendment to the formerly half-page referendum policy which includes new regulations for proponents (SUS or otherwise) wishing to hold referendums, as well as an increase to the length of the polling period and voting majority needed to pass a referendum. The new policy states that the polling mechanism on myUFV must be open for 72 hours over no less than four business days, and a referendum question needs at least 60 per cent approval to be actionable.

The referendum policy came under serious scrutiny during the Winter 2012 semester when the Athletics department and Student Life launched a referendum facilitated by SUS to create a new student fee. While the referendum passed by a vote of 849-701, no action was taken to implement the fee due to a SUS Board violation of its own bylaws. The novelty of the process (SUS facilitating a referendum for an outside group),

coupled with student complaints about the ambiguity of the referendum policy itself* persuaded some members of SUS that there was a need to revise the policy.

Greg Stickland, VP Internal and chair of the committee assigned to the task, said that the revision has been a long process: “Carlos [Vidal] and the rest of (SUS) got some feedback … that the question and answer periods [for a referendum] had to be a week before the polling period, yet [the question and answer period for the Athletics Referendum last spring] was held on Friday afternoon [the polling opened the following Monday]. A lot of peo-

ple were under the impression it was five business days, so Carlos was like ‘just make that change and it will be quick and easy’… so I noticed some things and made some changes and then brought it to Carlos and he noticed some things and made some changes and brought it to governance, and they scratched their head and made some changes, and twoand-a-half months later here we go.”

Another issue that students had brought to the attention of the board was a perceived lack of information about the Athletics referendum. The new policy requires three question and an-

A father fights to preserve Mission’s history from BC Hydro

swer periods (formerly only one was required) to be held on at least two campuses at least five business days prior to the beginning of the referendum. As well, Stickland believes the stricter approval percentage will motivate the proponent (group initiating the referendum) to work harder to inform the student body.

Stickland explained that the decision to raise the percentage of votes needed to “action” a referendum was the most difficult part of the revision. “That decision,” he said, “was a long and arduous debate even down to the very last moment … our final decision was either 66 [per

Science World Outreach program bites the dust

katie tegtmeier

taylor johnson

Father’s day is generally a day spent golfing, watching sports, or … using your new metal detector to discover what could be a great historical find.

Mission resident Larry Herr received a metal detector from his two daughters for Father’s Day based on the interest he had shown in looking around the now dry Ruskin Dam, near the Stave Falls Powerhouse in Mission. Upon using said device, he discovered an extremely wellpreserved wagon wheel, which is still attached to the wagon itself.

Wanting to bring this treasure out of the ground, Herr ran into problems with BC Hydro who insisted he stop digging in the area, or be faced with a hefty fine.

There are numerous contributing factors that have led BC Hydro to react in this manner.

The most significant factor is that the discovery of this type of artefact could put the brakes on the upgrade to the dam that BC Hydro has been working towards. They may also face more difficulty with moving forward with their project because the land the artefact is buried in is part of Kwantlen First Nation Territory. This gives the First Nations people the power to retrieve the wagon from the ground if they feel it will benefit their new cultural repository and education reserve that is going to be built on Kwantlen’s main reserve near Fort Langley. BC Hydro has said that they will be working along-

For some students in BC, a trip to Vancouver’s Telus Science World requires hours of travel or expensive flights with hotel costs.

This is where Science World’s Outreach program, the “BC Program for the Awareness and Learning of Science” (BC PALS), steps in.

Experts took their science show on the road and brought Science World to smaller communities that otherwise couldn’t attend the popular attraction.

After years of joining up with the Ministry of Education, BC’s Liberal Party has cut one million dollars in funding to the Outreach program. Without this vital funding the Outreach program cannot bring science shows into distant classrooms. The lack of funding however has not stopped Science World’s determination.

“We are trying to figure out ways around this,” stated Jo-Ann Coggan, Science World’s manager for community engagement. Coggan stated that the Outreach program’s funding cut will take away from small community classrooms: “Our number one goal is to get kids excited, fascinated and discover how science applies to real life jobs.” Science World is currently looking for possible sources of donations and funding in order to sustain the Outreach program.

Over the course of this program’s lifetime it has reached over a thousand classrooms and connected with over a million students, engaging them in sci-

CONTRIBUTOR

THE CASCADE

side the Kwantlen people as they reach their decision.

The find has caused many citizens to question what else could be buried in that same ground.

It is possible that there are many other equally well-preserved artefacts out there.

Established in 1896, Ruskin was a community of sawmills, lumber mills and eventually power stations. It grew within itself in the early 1900s – enough to warrant a school for the town. Ruskin had a surge in population and employment, but as the employment opportunities slowly diminished, so did the town.

It is possible that the Kwantlen people will rescue any possible artefacts and preserve them, which is at the least what Larry Herr is hoping for. “…it might just get buried over and we won’t get to see it again. Not in our life-

time, anyway.” Herr said in an interview with The Province. In the same article it also said Herr had suggested the site be used for university students to learn more about archaeology.

Mission is home to a few other interesting finds, including a discovery in Xá:ytem, a gathering place for the Sto:lo people. They have found evidence proving that their settlement is the oldest in all of BC, proven by radiocarbon dating. Even they faced a potential development threat, which they avoided. So what does this say for the wagon wheel? Is all of Herr’s and his fellow enthusiasts’ hopes riding on the Kwantlen people to rescue this artefact? BC Hydro and the Kwantlen First nations will hopefully arrive at their decision soon, while everyone sits back idly, eager to hear the news: will the wagon keep on rolling?

cent], being two-thirds, or 60 [per cent]. The final decision was five [board members] for 66 and five for 60, leaving me with the final vote since I was chairing that particular motion. I voted 60 just to make it more moderate. I feel that 66 was pretty ridiculously high.”

“Our referendums are pretty serious business, so the decision was made with the notion and ideal that if [one] were to pass a big thing like a new fee or a new program that we want to have a good majority of approval for it from a good amount of students.”

According to Stickland, there are two possible referendums in the works for the coming year, both of which would be carried out under the new policy. The Athletics department may attempt a second referendum, and SUS may hold a referendum pertaining to the Health and Dental Plan.

Revising the policy has been “just a matter of trying to find a happy medium and thinking up solutions without being too punishing,” said Stickland. “That said I’m always open to feedback ... I’m not a closed door, I love talking policy.” *See former Sports Editor Sean Evans’s article on the subject at www.ufvcascade.ca

ence careers and possibly spiking passion for further science education. Science careers are vital to our future, however the interest and desire to go into these careers starts at a young age.

Compounding the possible termination of the Outreach program, Abbotsford’s Community Science Celebration has been cancelled. The week long program featured free hands-on science shows in Abbotsford and Chilliwack. Since the 2010 Olympics this program has brought Vancouver’s Science World temporarily into the Fraser Valley. The event also featured local sciencebased careers in a career fair setting, allowing students to ask experts questions and possibly gain interest in a career.

Science World is able to support itself by donations, admission charges and memberships. However taking it a step further and going beyond the circular walls of the Vancouver branch requires more funding, funding which was provided by the provincial government until recently. In the economic crunch Science World was not the only program facing a cut back; other education programs, like the Advanced Education program, will also take a hit.

Fortunately, Science World’s presence in the Fraser Valley has not been completely removed by the funding cut. The Super Science Club will remain present in local classrooms. This program receives its funding largely from the school district, community partnerships and is staffed by UFV student volunteers.

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WEDNESDAY, JULY 18, 2012

NEWS

Former UFV students stage controversial theatre production nadine moedt

THE CASCADE

Four UFV theatre students— Cait Archer, Joshua Wilson, Madison MacArthur and Dylan Schroeder—have formed their own theatre group: Coup d’Etat.

Coup d’Etat is in rehearsal for its first production, Spring Awakening

by Frank Wedekind (trans. Jonathan Franzon). The show runs from July 27–29 in the Rotary Hall at the Chilliwack Cultural Centre. The play, originally written in German and first performed at the beginning of the 20th century, follows the lives of three teenagers as they explore their sexuality in a society where such things as teenage sexual desires are not discussed. In its first production, the play provoked public outrage, and when performed in New York in 1917, it was closed down as it was perceived to be obscene.

Dylan Schroeder is directing his company’s production of Spring Awakening. Schroeder graduated from UFV this June with an English major and an extended minor in Theatre. Spring Awakening is his first venture into directing a full-length play.

Schroeder feels that the issues addressed in the play—abortion, homosexuality and rape—are just as controversial and relevant today.

Schroeder says that the company has overcome many challenges in putting together its first production, especially with a play that confronts so many sensitive issues. When asked about some of the main difficulties in producing

a play like this, Schroeder mentioned that the compatibility of the cast was paramount. “The cast has to be comfortable with each other,” he said. This is important when staging some of the sensitive scenes, for example showing the “beginning of a rape.” It is a large cast. Its members are all between the ages of 19 and 25.

According to Schroeder, the play was chosen by Coup d’Etat because “it reflects the themes of the company.” Besides, Spring Awakening is Schroeder’s favourite play. He calls it an intense, powerful script and hopes that it

“provokes discussion.” His wish is that the audience “comes away from it moved in some way.”

Schroeder’s experience at UFV was a good one; he finished having directed for several years in the UFV Theatre Department’s annual Directors’ Festival, and having acted in several plays, including A Midsummer Night’s Dream as Puck in 2010. When asked his advice for future students aspiring to get involved in theatre, he recommended Ian Fenwick’s playmaking class (Theatre 352 and 353). “Ian Fenwick’s been really helpful with every-

thing,” Schroeder said, having assisted his group in getting Spring Awakening off the ground. Other suggestions included John Carroll’s (English faculty) playwriting courses (Eng 211 and 381).

Future production plans for Coup d’Etat are uncertain, but Schroeder and his group aspire to produce an original work. He explains this would mean writing a script independently and working on the playmaking together.

But the other members of the talented group are also well prepared for this kind of creative and collaborative endeavor having

Image: Joella Marano

Image: Andy Clark/Reuters

Image: Shaam News Network

Calgary Stampede horse deaths anger animal rights activists

Charlie Sheen pledges $1 million to U.S. military support group

Enbridge says pipeline safe after NTSB blasts company

Syria fighting closes in on capital

Secretive North Korea ditches top military man, purge seen

CALGARY, Alberta (Reuters) - The debate between cowboy tradition and animal rights at the Calgary Stampede was reignited late Thursday when three horses were killed and a fourth seriously injured during a chuckwagon race at the huge annual rodeo and exhibition of Western Canadian culture

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - His rants under control and his life seemingly on the mend, “Anger Management” actor Charlie Sheen has pledged $1 million to the USO, a U.S. military support organization, and the donation could go higher if his new TV show becomes a hit.

CALGARY, Alberta (Reuters) - Enbridge Inc, stung by a harsh rebuke from regulators over a 2010 spill that dumped more than 20,000 barrels of crude into a Michigan river system, has stepped up inspections and is confident its pipeline network is safe, the company’s incoming chief executive said on Wednesday.

BEIRUT (Reuters) - Syrian army armored vehicles have clashed with rebels in Damascus in what residents said was the heaviest fighting in the capital since the revolt against President Bashar al-Assad began 17 months ago.

SEOUL (Reuters) - North Korea’s ruling party has removed a top military official close to the center of power, suggesting new leader Kim Jong-un and his closest advisers may be purging the ruling elite to strengthen their grip on the secretive state.

Chuckwagon racing, the marquee event of Calgary’s famous 10-day festival, is inspired by pioneering cowboys’ practice of breaking camp and racing away. The thrilling sport is a Stampede symbol but it has claimed dozens of animals over the years.

The money, at least 1 percent of the profits he makes on the new FX comedy “Anger Management,” will go to the USO’s Operation Enduring Care, a program that is raising money to help wounded and sick soldiers and their families, a USO spokeswoman said.

Company President Al Monaco, slated to replace Pat Daniel as chief executive later this year, said Enbridge has boosted spending on safety inspections since the July 2010 spill in the Kalamazoo River.

In the event, teams of horses pull covered wagons with wood-spoke wheels around a track after making their way through a tight figure-eight. Each team has two outriders who have to finish the race with the wagon.

Sheen has pledged at least $1 million, but if “Anger Management” becomes a hit and his 1 percent profit rises above that figure, he also will donate the rest to the USO making it among the largest monetary donations ever to the group.

benefitted, like Schroeder, from UFV Theatre program training.

Spring Awakening tickets are available through the Chilliwack Cultural Centre by phone (604391-7469), online at chilliwackculturalcentre.ca, or in person, either ahead of time or the night of the show. Tickets are $15 for adults or $10 for students and seniors.

Show times are Friday, July 27 at 7:30 p.m., Saturday, July 28 at 7:30 p.m., or at 2:00 p.m. on Sunday, July 29. Due to mature themes and sexual violence, only those 14 and older will be admitted.

NEWS BRIEFS

Image: Creative Commons

“We’ll be spending in the area of $400 million, which is ... probably double what was being spent (prior to the spill),” he told reporters following a speech to the TD Securities Energy Conference.

The spread of hostilities into the Syrian capital comes as United Nations envoy Kofi Annan is visiting Moscow to promote a peace plan for Syria. On Tuesday, he will meet President Vladimir Putin, who has resisted Western calls to increase pressure on Assad.

Talks between Putin and Annan are not expected to break any new ground after Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov said Western attempts to threaten Syria with further sanctions amounted to blackmail.

Image: Reuters

It is the latest surprise from the young Kim, who last week stunned observers by jazzing up the ruling family dynasty’s normally dour image when he appeared on state television in the company of a mystery young woman, cheerfully applauding scantily dressed female pop singers.

Vice Marshal Ri Yong-ho, who was seen as close to Kim’s dictator father Kim Jong-il, was relieved of his posts in the Workers’ Party of Korea at a politburo meeting on Sunday, including the powerful role of vice chairman of the Central Military Commission, the state KCNA news agency said on Monday.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 18, 2012

www.ufvcascade.ca

5

NEWS

Newly Conservative MLA John Van Dongen speaks his mind joe johnson

ment project in principle doesn’t mean that it’s a blank cheque, because it isn’t. He is simply not prepared to compromise the environment to build a pipeline. He is not prepared to do that. …And Enbridge has got a much bigger job to convince me that they’re ready for a big project like that. I’d be doing a lot more research before they ever got a permit in BC.

THE CASCADE

Abbotsford South MLA John Van Dongen, a man all about proper representation of the public, recently opened his office to The Cascade. Van Dongen has been a watchdog for the BC Rail case, a key player in the development of the newly-formed BC Conservative party, and just happens to have the riding in which UFV’s Abbotsford campus lies. Last March he left the BC Liberals, a party he stood with since 1995, and in the May 2013 Provincial election will look to run on a BC Conservative platform.

1) Why did you leave the Liberals to become a conservative?

Well I think the basic issues were that the leadership race that started in November, December of 2010 was an opportunity for renewal in the BC Liberal party after Gordon Campbell had resigned. And I very actively supported a candidate, I supported George Abbott. There was one other candidate that I felt was highly qualified for the job but there was two candidates that I didn’t think were qualified very well for the job, and I was pretty vocal about that within the party.

And moving forward with the government, with the Premier, I was disappointed that the renewal that should have happened with a new leader, that didn’t happen. And I was particularly concerned with issues about honesty and ethics and commitment to public service. And I cited as examples the Basi, Virk legal fees issue, the $6 million write off of legal fees owing by law… …there was a pattern here that I saw and I didn’t believe it would change… …they lost touch with their public, they lost touch with the basic hallmarks I think of a credible government which are things like integrity, and competency, and commitment to public service. And I made a very tough decision … but one that in terms of my belief about what my responsibility is—to my constituents— I was prepared to do because I

Conservative MLA John Van Dongen reads a copy of The Cascade believe it needed to be done; and I couldn’t carry on in good conscience as part of the government.

So yes, that was a big decision.

2) Would you be personally in favour of eliminating interest on student loans?

I don’t know the numbers but I think it’s legitimate to look at that.

You know, what is the cost to government of financing that, what is the cost of administration. But I think right now it’s prime plus two, which I think it’s legitimate to look at it. But it all has to be in the context of a balanced budget.

And I don’t know the numbers. I did read that I think the provincial government has about $260 million out in student loans I believe.

3) Core funding for the educational institutions themselves haven’t seen any increases but the capacity issue has been increasing…

I’ve done a fair bit of work with your president, Dr. Mark Evered, and the University on the core funding issues and I think that one of the factors that are critical

for UFV is the population growth that we have. We’re one of the fastest growing populations in this region in Canada and in BC and I’m not convinced that there’s enough emphasis placed on population growth in the funding formula. …At one point we had at least a dozen ministries where I felt there was a direct correlation between the lag time when population is increasing and the lag time for the dollars following it. And I think that’s one of the things that’s seriously pressuring our University – is population pressure that is not funded right away. …But Mark Evered will tell you that the single biggest right now, for him, is classroom space. And we’re working with him on both the short term and longer term project to try and alleviate that.

4) Where do the Conservatives stand on the Enbridge Northern Gateway pipeline?

The recent report coming from the US has been somewhat damning of the company.

I take the recent report from the US extremely seriously. There

image:Joe Johnson/the Cascade

were indications there that are quite disturbing. Any time that you’re doing a large project like this, there’s a social license, a public license that needs to be earned, that needs to be demonstrated that the company, A, takes the issue seriously and B, is willing and able to deliver on whatever the requirements might be. Our position as a party, and Cummins has spoken about this, we’re supportive of development but not at the expense of the environment.

I’m going to say that this latest information about Enbridge is quite disturbing in terms of what we hear. …But I said in principle we would be supportive of economic development like that pipeline but subject to strong environmental assessment and proof that they’ve got the capability and will to meet high standards if a permit is granted. And John Cummins I’ll say this for him besides the other things I’ve said, he is an environmentalist. He’s got a track record of being very strong about environmental protection. I’m confident in saying just because he supports an economic develop-

5) What are your personal key initiatives over the next year?

I’m working very actively … to help build up the party. Once I got out of the legislature I decided to get out and meet as many different members and constituencies in the BC Conservative party all over BC. …And helping build up candidate recruitment. This is certainly a big initiative ... September 10 I’m in court on the Auditor Generals case. I’ve got some more documents coming as of a court order today. So I’ll be working on that, we’ll keep moving this forward.

And I will continue to focus in particular, on my constituency going to as many events as I can… you pick up a lot of feedback talking to people and you get a chance to impart to them what you did and why you did it. I would say those are my three things.

6) Are you looking forward to the campaign?

Well, yeah I am in this respect I’m particularly looking forward to the campaign and my constituency. Yeah it was a very, very significant decision to leave the BC Liberal caucus, to leave friends behind, to take a riskier decision than I might have had if I stayed there. And I’m looking forward to what elections are if you’re an incumbent, being accountable for what I’ve done and why I’ve done it. … Because in a way people voted for a BC Liberal MLA. But I’ve had a lot of people say to me, “we didn’t vote for you because you’re a BC Liberal, we voted for you because of who you are.” …But like I said, that’s the ultimate accountability session is an election, and I am looking forward to it.

Point of interest: the Sodexo contract Q. Does Sodexo control all food services on campus?

Q. Who decides when the cafeteria is open or closed?

Q. Who decides the price of food on campus?

“Food Service Exclusive.

University College grants SMS Canada the exclusive right to operate Food Service on or from the Premises.”

“Standard Meal Hours.

SMS Canada shall provide Food Service at such times as determined by SMS Canada.”

“Retail Segment Prices.

Prices charged for retail sales shall be reasonable as determined by SMS Canada.

SMS Canada will provide University College with a rationale regarding a price increase to be implemented throughout the year.”

Verdict: Why yes they do. AfterMath is allowed to operate only by grace.

Verdict: Sodexo controls lunchtime.

Verdict: Once again, Sodexo.

3.2

paul esau

THE CASCADE We’ve been talking a lot about Sodexo lately, and we’ve been hearing a lot back in wild and crazy rumours. Exercising some journalistic integrity, The Cascade decided it was finally time to sneak a peek at the contract between our meal providers and UFV. The following are some excerpts from that contract...

4.2

4.3

Q. Will students still be able to obtain food from the cafeteria during a velociraptor apocalypse?

“Catastrophe.

Neither

9.11 SMS Canada nor Univer-

sity College shall be liable for the failure to perform its respective obligations hereunder when such failure is caused by fire, explosion, water, act of God, civil disorder or disturbances, strikes, vandalism, war, riot, sabotage, weather and energy-related closings, governmental rules or regulations, or like causes beyond the reasonable control of such party, or for real or personal property destroyed or damaged due to such causes.”

Verdict: No, provided the velociraptors were released by God.

6

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WEDNESDAY, JULY 18, 2012

NEWS

Student Union building to become LEED Gold Certified JEREMY HANNAFORD

CONTRIBUTOR

It has only been seven months since the design of the Student Union building was approved via referendum and already the construction process is taking some big steps in being ecofriendly, particularly in following the LEED Certification standards.

LEED Certification is a global rating system that evaluates environmental factors for constructing new buildings as well as maintenance and upgrades to existing buildings. Launched in 2000, LEED or Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design, evaluates all aspects of construction methods including building locations, water efficiency, energy and atmosphere consumption, materials, and indoor environmental quality. All of these inquiries are tallied together to find the buildings certification level. These levels range from regular certification to Silver to Gold and finally to Platinum.

LEED Certification is becoming increasingly important for all architectural projects in the Lower Mainland. The first Platinum Grade project to be approved in Vancouver (as mentioned by The Vancouver Sun) is the Telus Garden Building which is sure to set a benchmark for further construction projects.

According to the Student Union Building webpage on the SUS website, the SUB building

will have a minimum Gold Level certification level. Craig Toews, Director of Campus Planning, said that the Gold level was a great achievement but he wishes to go beyond the certification to make the building even more liveable and cost-efficient. He explained that this isn’t about “putting a plaque on the wall” but about having a building that utilizes smart technology and functions efficiently. When asked about his feeling towards LEED itself, Craig stated that it is a great measuring tool for sustainable design and constantly adapting new industry standards. It is also stated that the government requires all new buildings to achieve a minimum Gold level certification.

He did, however, point out several difficulties with the system.

He points out that it is a great measuring tool for a diverse cross-section of building uses and designs but it poses problems when renovations and new construction collide. C Building, for example, was very difficult to reach the Silver Level standard, as the two sections’ potential for LEED points within certain categories effectively cancelled each other out.

Universities throughout British Columbia are following these new building standards but Craig Toews stated there will be something quiet unique in the new SUB Building. The building will be incorporating Thermenex, a newly developed

heating/cooling system invented by mechanical engineer Jeff Weston. This system provides many green-friendly services such as reducing greenhouse gases, consumes 50 per cent less energy than the ASHRAE 90.1 standard and costs less than all other systems. This device has already been installed in Langara College in Coquitlam and several buildings at the University of British Columbia.

When asked why the SUB building was receiving only a minimum Gold level standard, Craig stated that while the target was LEED Platinum, the $15 million dollar budget made reaching that level of sustainability as well as constructing all the new spaces and functions for the facility difficult. But he assured me that their focus is to build an eco-friendly building that operates efficiently and functions effectively as a liveable building rather than trying to achieve a certification that may include more points than realistically needed. I asked Craig if there was a set figure on the operational costs of the SUB building. He stated that while they have some estimates, they will not have a true figure until they have seen an entire year of utility costs.

As it stands, both the new Student Union Society building in Abbotsford and the Canada Education Park in Chilliwack will receive the Gold LEED certification.

HIRING: EDITOR-IN-CHIEF All current UFV students are welcome—nay, encouraged—to apply!

The responsibilities of the Editor-in-Chief include overseeing all aspects of the paper’s production, including (but certainly not limited to): managing the paper’s editorial board; hiring, training and tutoring staff; and liaising with the Canadian University Press. The Editor-in-Chief reports to the Cascade Board of Directors and is ultimately responsible for the editorial content of the newspaper.

The job requires a heavy time commitment and is not recommended for full time students.

Candidates will be required to pass an editing test to be considered for the position.

The position has a term of one year, after which the Editor-in-Chief may reapply to be hired again.

Now accepting applications for:

Managing Editor The Managing Editor works in tandem with the Editor-inChief to manage staff and ensure a smooth editorial work flow. The Managing Editor shall be responsible for providing support to the EIC in respect to editorial work flow and administration, and shall be an educational resource for section editors and volunteers. The Managing Editor will also be responsible for internal editorial and volunteer relations.

Qualifications: 1) Must be a member in good standing of the Cascade Journalism Society.

2) Must be registered in at least one credit course during the fall/ winter semesters.

3) Must be available to work varying hours.

4) Must be available to be present in the office for at least 12 hours per week, especially Tuesday afternoons.

5) Must be able to deal effectively with Society and university staff, students and the general public.

6) Must demonstrate strong command of the English language by passing an editing test, which will be administered during the interview process.

7) Basic literacy is required.

8) Must have knowledge of all relevant laws and journalistic standards concerning libel.

9) The ability to work with a diverse group of volunteers is necessary for this position. Conflict resolution courses would be an asset.

For more information, or to apply, email ali@ ufvcascade.ca by 4:00 p.m. July 20!

We are now accepting applications for:

Sports Editor Rate of pay: $150 per issue honouraria Terms of Contract: August to May 2012 The Sports editor of The Cascade is responsible for assigning, collecting, editing and laying out the content of the Sports section of The Cascade. Further, the Sports editor shall ensure that issues relevant to students are presented in his/her section, particularly issues surrounding varsity sports and other local sports organizations. At all times, the Sports editor shall adhere to the Cascade Journalism Society’s bylaws, Code of Conduct and other polices, as well as ensuring that all material in his/her section does not violate the Canadian University Press Code of Ethics.

Qualifications: 1) Must be a member in good standing of the Cascade Journalism Society.

2) Must be registered in at least one credit course during the fall/winter semesters.

3) Must be available to work varying hours.

4) Must be available to be present in the office for at least five hours per week.

5) Must be able to deal effectively with Society and University staff, students and the general public.

6) Must demonstrate strong command of the English language by passing an editing test, which will be administered during the interview process.

7) Basic literacy is required.

8) Must have knowledge of all relevant laws and journalistic standards concerning libel.

The Editor-in-Chief is paid an honouraria of $300 per issue.

For more information, or to apply, email esau@ufvcascade.ca by 4:00 p.m. July 20!

For more information, or to apply, email esau@ ufvcascade.ca by 4:00 p.m. July 20!

www.ufvcascade.ca

WEDNESDAY, JULY 18, 2012

7

OPINION

The Pipeline: what (I think) you need to know about Enbridge’s plans for BC NADINE MOEDT

THE CASCADE

Enbridge’s Plans for BC Enbridge, a Calgary-based energy company, is proposing a twin pipeline. One will flow westerly, transporting petroleum from near Edmonton to Kitimat. 1177 kilometers in length and 36 inches in diameter, this pipe would carry an average of 525,000 barrels of petroleum daily.

The second proposed pipeline, 20 inches in diameter, would carry 193,000 barrels of condensate (used to thin petroleum products for pipeline transport) the other way, from Kitimat to Edmonton.

Benefits The benefits listed on the Enbridge Northern Gateway pipelines website includes 5000 jobs during the peak stages of construction, dropping to 560 for long-term employment. Tax revenues are projected at $1.2 billion.

But do these benefits outweigh the environmental concerns? It seems shortsighted. Surely we should be looking to a more environmentallysustainable approach. In some ways, this is the same mentality as that evident in the current widening of the Trans-Canada Highway instead of expanding rapid transit and bringing commuter rail to the valley.

We’ve had an insatiable appetite so far, and look where it’s brought us.

Environmentally speaking, we’re fast approaching the point of no return.

Government’s Response Prime Minister Steven Harper has made the oil sands and stronger ties with Asia a key economic focus. It seems his government will do whatever necessary to ensure that the Northern Gateway pipeline is built.

This comes as no surprise. Harper’s government is as anti-environment as they come. The recent passing of Bill C-38 is enough evidence of that. The bill removed the habitat protection embedded in the Fisheries Act, one of Canada’s most important conservational laws, giving the government more options for permitting industry to pollute fish habitats. Up to 5000 environmental assessments of economic projects were eliminated with the passing of C-38.

Bill C-38 gives the government all the power to propel the Northern

Oil tankers could soon be moving through Kitimat Gateway pipeline forward. They can muzzle scientists and skim over environmental concerns.

Environmental Concerns According to the Enbridge website, the pipelines will cross 773 identified watercourses with defined beds and banks. Of these, 669 are fish-bearing and 127 of them are home to wild salmon. Not to fear, however – Enbridge says on their website that they will conduct “detailed site surveys at difficult crossings” to lessen the environmental impact.

The pipeline will knife through streams and rivers, over the Rockies and through the Great Bear rainforest, a home to wolves, wild salmon, grizzlies and the spirit bear. Half a million barrels per day of unrefined bitumen, a throbbing vein of poison, will run through pristine wilderness. Our northern BC is pure, virgin, magnificent, yet the Canadian government wants to defile it for its own gain – but certainly not for the benefit of British Columbians. They are taking what isn’t theirs without our consent. In a word, it’s environmental rape.

In an internal correspondence between the Department of Fisheries and Oceans and Environment Canada, at least 15 endangered species are listed as those that will be most affected by the intruding pipeline. Many types of rare birds, frogs and the Woodland Caribou will be further threatened by the pipeline.

image: Sandman/Flickr

These species are already listed under the Canada Species at Risk Act. Enbridge is not disputing any of these claims. Todd Nogier, manager of corporate and western communications for Enbridge said that “Northern Gateway will contribute toward additional research to help mitigate the effects of the project on the marine, freshwater and terrestrial ecosystems.”

However, more concerns arose after Harper and his cronies forced through Bill C-38. As a result the law no longer requires project developers to renew special permits to operate on sites that disturb critical habitats.

Ecojustice staff lawyer Sean Nixon phrases it quite succinctly: “First, they’re getting out of the business of habitat protection and second they’re getting out of the business of anything that isn’t absolutely, squarely, 100 per cent guaranteed to be in the federal jurisdiction, which means that suddenly you have a very timid federal government that isn’t doing much at all to protect species.”

The greatest concern, however, is not that the pipeline would cross through the heartland of BC, but that it would introduce supertankers to a part of BC where they’ve never been. 220 tankers would travel up treacherous waters to Kitimat; each tanker would carry over eight times the amount spilled from the Exxon Valdez. One accident, one miscalculation, and a fragile, delicately-balanced ecosystem could be destroyed.

Countless marine animals in-

cluding humpback whales, orca, sea otters, as well as creatures dependent on shore life to survive, would be slicked in oil because of it. The 15 endangered species under threat from the proposed pipeline did not include marine animals such as humpback and fin whales. As well, it is acknowledged that whales could be killed in collisions with the supertankers or harmed by the increased traffic. Federal scientists are raising concerns about the lack of consideration of these risks because of a weak voluntary reporting system.

Part of the government’s interest in promoting the project is that the pipeline would facilitate the expansion of the tar sands.

But oil produced by the tar sands has been dubbed as the world’s dirtiest oil. Its extraction leaves behind pools of toxic tailings, creates three to five times the green house gases that conventional oil extraction creates, destroys the boreal forest— which, incidentally, is the world’s largest terrestrial carbon storehouse and home to the largest forest wetland ecosystems left on the planet— as well as increases human exposure to heavy metals.

Finally, the Northern gateway pipeline would allow Canadian oil companies the freedom to expand production and exports to new markets in the U.S. and Asia. None of these so-called advantages outweigh the risks. The advantages to the few cannot be determined to outweigh the real risks to the many.

Enbridge’s History The phrase “environmental responsibility” is plastered all over the Enbridge Northern Gateway website. Their track record suggests otherwise.

In 2010, Enbridge’s pipeline in Michigan spilled more than 840,000 gallons of crude oil into the Michigan wetlands and the Kalamazoo River, resulting in more than $800 million in damage. The head of a U.S. environmental agency has made it clear to Canadian authorities that the spill was “tragic and needless,” and that we should be careful of the proposed Northern Gateway pipeline.

National Transportation Safety Board Chairman Deborah Hersman commented in an article by The Vancouver Sun that Enbridge officials acted like the “Keystone Kops” in the face of the disaster. The company was aware of the potential for a spill

for five years; when the pipe finally ruptured, it took officials 17 hours to shut down the oil flow.

“This accident was the result of multiple mistakes and missteps made by Enbridge,” Hersman is quoted in the article, who went on to say that the company failed to learn its lessons from major U.S. spills in 1991 and 2002 in the U.S., and in 2007 in Canada, as many of the mistakes from those spills were repeated in 2010.

Enbridge faced a $3.7 million fine for 22 alleged violations related to the spill. Overall, the spill affected the health of 320 people and nearly 4000 animals, and it permanently displaced a number of residents in the Kalamazoo River area.

Solutions Other than trying to cut down on our usage and turn to more environmentally friendly energy sources, what are our options? Maybe the question we have to ask first is why is Ottawa suddenly so interested in exporting overseas? It’s a fairly recent phenomenon. Currently, 99 per cent of Canada’s oil exports go down to the states through a network of pipelines to refineries in the states.

So why did this have to change?

According to an article in Macleans, the trouble is that there is a bottleneck in the system; the U.S. has their own crude oil which refineries buy at discounted prices. This depresses prices of Canadian crude oil. But by piping the oil to the coast and shipping it to an Asian country, there is a guaranteed access to world market prices. This translates to an extra $8 to $10 on every barrel of oil.

Simply put, Harper wants to turn Canada into a big, dirty, energy super power.

In the perfect world, we would restrict the growth of the Alberta tar sands, and turn to cleaner, renewable energy sources. In the meantime, however, while oil companies essentially control the world, we need another method. We have around 25 oil refineries in Canada. The U.S. has almost that many in California alone. Why can’t we build more ecofriendly oil refineries right here in Canada? That could then eliminate the environmentally risky transport of billions of barrels of oil. It could also benefit our own economy and make us less dependent on the United States.

New student loan repayment plan lacks creativity PAIGE HOBLAK THE CASCADE BC Premier Christy Clark recently announced a new program to ease the pressure of weighty student loans as a part of her threetiered “Families First” scheme. But with the highest student loan interest rates in Canada, BC needs more than an altered student loan repayment system to implement any real change.

The problem doesn’t lie with how students will pay off their loans – it is that tuition fees are unaffordable.

The altered system will allow students to focus their initial payments on the interest portion of the loan,

and afterwards to the primary payment. Income, debt load and family circumstances will also be taken into consideration. This will allow students some leeway, giving students more time to find a career which will earn them real money in order to pay the loan off accordingly.

Pressure will be taken off somewhat, but this does not address the harsh reality of an unstable economy and post-university debt.

The improved system is supposed to help families who are financially vulnerable. I see this as a step in the right direction – yet only just a step.

This may initially help families who are vulnerable (as expressed by Clark) but she ignores the needs of

the individual student on which the loan ultimately lands.

In some cases, such as a student maintaining a low income for an extended period of time, or possessing some form of disability, loans may be forgiven entirely. However, these cases are very circumstantial and do not suffice.

The new loan repayment system initiated by Clark and her Liberal party has introduced political repercussions. The NDP has criticised the reform in a recent Times Colonist article, subsequently upping the ante.

NDP advanced education critic Michelle Mungall said the premier’s announcement was only a tweaked version of a program that already

existed. “This is not a strong announcement, this is not a bold direction, this is not addressing the top issues for students … This is way off the mark.”

What is lacking here is the government’s ability to be creative in finding a viable solution.

A reformed payment system based around circumstance does not offer an adequate solution for students.

Students should not have to sacrifice education due to the looming shadow and pressures alongside debt.

Interest rates need to be cut drastically, better yet, abolished. If Canada could create a system more similar to that of a European model, which charges higher taxes and much low-

er tuition fees, I feel that we could find no faults in such a structure.

With the modified payment system students will see initial pressures alleviated, although any tangible and lasting effects remain unseen. Stalling the heaviest payment is not a substantial method in bettering the future for students.

Education should not entail the amount of sacrifice that is willingly offered up by Canadian students.

Significant change is most definitely still needed in order for students to feel confident about making that big decision to attend university.

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www.ufvcascade.ca

WEDNESDAY, JULY 18, 2012

OPINION

Lack of respect caused Conservative Bev Oda’s resignation JOE JOHNSON

THE CASCADE

I’m a little curious how many people know who Bev Oda is. Within the world of federal politics she has quite a prominent name. But she may wish it wasn’t so.

Oda is a Harper Conservative through and through and represents the riding of Durham, located in Ontario. She’s been a public servant since 2004, first with the Progressive Conservative Party and then with the Conservatives after the merger of the Alliance and Progressive Conservatives. She became Minister of International Cooperation in 2007.

But controversy after controversy plagued her, so much so that on July 31 she will be stepping down from government. And although I’m certain she’s done some good work and has given much for her country, she needed to go.

Personally, I’ve never been her biggest fan. Not because I don’t share her political beliefs, (of which I may or may not) but because she’s played a part in an issue dear to my heart: copyright reform. In the past she has taken money from both American and Canadian copyright lobby groups, and having been in the position of Heritage Minister early on,

that was a gross conflict of interests.

Let’s get a little more relevant to current times. In what must have been an embarrassment to the Prime Minister, Oda as a minister made some seriously novice mistakes. It’s been speculated that the reason she did decide to leave is that a cabinet shuffle is coming up, and she would likely find herself left on the back bench.

In the past few months much has been made of Oda’s use of taxpayer money. The biggest uproar, in which the opposition was right in pressing relentlessly on, came about when the revelation was made that Oda had shown blatant misuse. While the actual expenses she incurred are negligible, this is about principle.

Last spring when she was attending a conference in London, which had a preplanned itinerary and accounted for costs, Oda opted for her own accommodations. She decided to stay at the much more upscale Savoy Hotel than the arranged Grange St. Paul for $665 a night, ordered orange juice for $16 a glass, and hired a limo to transfer her between the two hotels. Upon a weak excuse, she finally admitted to being in the wrong and did pay back the additional expenses.

And most recently she has purportedly shown even more disregard. It’s coming forward that she used tax payer money—once again incorrectly—in purchasing an air purifier to mask the smell of smoking in her office.

These are just a few of improprieties she has committed over the years. One does begin to wonder if this is a reflection of the larger governing body, and while that may not be here nor there, it does show one bad decision by the Prime Minister in choosing somebody of her qualities to fill two large cabinet positions.

Ultimately though, at the end of this month, hopefully her exodus will set some examples: our Canadian politicians should be more respectful of those they represent.

You think that’s funny?

SASHA MOEDT THE CASCADE Oh god, you’re already thinking it. Here comes a feminazi. Here comes a bitching, whining, uptight, humourless cow who can’t lighten up and take a joke. She’s going to talk about society and shit, then cry about it.

Well, fine. This article is about things I don’t find funny. I’m not a very funny person, but I love laughing. It’s an unfortunate thing, you know. I have a great sense of other people’s humour. Other people can be pretty funny.

Anyways, so a guy I’ve never heard of is up on stage doing a comedy routine. Somehow—testimonies vary—the jokes gravitate towards rape. Sitting in the crowd is a woman, who came for Dane Cook, who would perform during the same show. She also didn’t know this guy – comedian Daniel Tosh.

This woman later blogged about what happened. “Tosh ... starts making some very generalizing, declarative statements about rape jokes always being funny, how can a rape joke not be funny, rape is hilarious, etc. I don’t know why he was so repetitive about it but I felt provoked … I didn’t appreciate Daniel Tosh (or anyone!) telling me I should find them funny. So I yelled out, “Actually, rape jokes are never funny!””

There is some kind of tradition for comedians to heckle audience members who heckle them. So Tosh responded: “Wouldn’t it be funny if that girl got raped by like, five guys right now? Like right now? What if a bunch of guys just raped her…” And the woman wrote in her blog that she left, with the audience members laughing behind her.

So funny. Isn’t that funny? Like, five guys. Raping her, right then.

Zing!

Humour can be used in so many

different ways. It can be, healing, it can be a method of discussing the taboo, of opening our minds. It eases tensions, hides tensions, and persuades us. I think humour is powerful: it lets us say things that we’d never be able to say outright. I admire people that can manipulate humour and use it effectively.

So why was there so much backlash in the media, against the blogger and Tosh? One use of humour is something we don’t often think about, though is so very common: cruelty.

Anyone who has been bullied knows that the mean-spirited people who like to inflict emotional pain often have their own sick sense of humour. They think it’s funny to torment you. That’s what rape jokes are, right? Tormenting victims, threatening women with a very genuine reality. One in four women in North America will be sexually assaulted.

We know what rape is. We know it’s not funny. It’s not Tosh’s brand of humour. It’s just humour in one of its many forms, humour hiding something. You can say, relax, it’s just a joke. But it’s the wrong kind of joke.

It’s cruelty.

But at the same time, I can’t say I find all rape jokes unfunny and insulting. We laugh at death jokes, jokes about people getting hurt, defenders of Tosh say. Why not rape?

There was an interesting article in Jezebel called “How to make a rape joke.” The author writes that there’s a difference between making the victim the butt of a rape joke and making the rape culture the butt of the joke.

Author Lindy West uses a routine by Ever Mainard as an example: “The problem is that every woman in her entire life has that one moment when you think, ‘Oh! Here’s my rape!’” Mainard says. I watched a 10 minute clip of her joking about rape. It wasn’t insulting or demean-

ing. It was very well done.

West then writes that the joke is about rape culture. It’s about what women are taught (don’t walk alone in the dark!), constantly, about how they feel in this rape culture, about how they feel about the wrong kind of rape jokes. It’s generalised. It’s not about the woman—singular—getting raped. “It’s like the difference between a black comic telling a joke about how it feels to have white people treat you like you’re stupid all the time versus a white comic telling a joke about how stupid black people are,” West writes.

Joking about rape culture might open discussions. Why are women taught “don’t get raped” rather than men told “don’t rape?” Why do we have to debate about what consent means? Why can’t women wear whatever they want? Why is it our fault? Why is respect so hard to find, and why are men threatened by women so often?

Living in a rape culture where assholes like Tosh are popular is hard for women. It’s hard to be afraid, to be demeaned, blamed and threatened.

And a 10 minute clip of a female comedian talking about that moment, when you’re walking alone in the dark and you see a man ahead, well, we relate to that. Maybe men can understand. Maybe it’ll make us understand this rape culture better.

But at least we’re talking about it.

Those are the kind of rape jokes that can be told.

I’ve looked up this Tosh guy. He’s a real jerk, a real douche. He stoops to shocking people. It’s boring and mediocre. He can’t pull the crap that he tries to pull. It comes off as disrespectful and desperate.

The people that are standing up for his freedom of speech go ahead.

I’ll exercise mine and say: you think that’s funny? I think you’re a fucking idiot.

Get over yourself, IOC

KAREN ANEY

THE CASCADE

Let’s—for just one moment—pretend it’s not scorching hot outside.

Envision last December, when we had to trudge to school in below zero temperatures to sit in a brick school that never seemed to be warm enough. Remember the goose bumps, people.

Keep that cold in mind, and let me tell you about an awesome website. It’s called Ravelry. It’s like Facebook—except better—for knitters, crocheters, spinners, and weavers.

For weirdos like me, who would rather spend a Friday evening knitting with my kitten and a mug of tea than go out clubbing, it’s pretty much Utopia.

This gets relevant, I swear. How? Well, each time the Olympics rolls around, Ravelry hosts what is called the Ravelympics. It’s an awesome event, first officially held in 2008.

There are events like afghan marathon, scarf hockey, and sweater triathlon. Crafters get together in teams—either with people they know in person, or new yarny friends from around the globe—and participate in the events by casting on during the opening ceremony and casting off (finishing the afghan/ scarf/sweater) by the closing ceremonies. Why? Wait for it – because it’s fun.

Sometimes companies donate prizes: a ball of yarn here, a set of needles there. They’re randomly given to someone who participated and won (i.e., completed the event/ item). Other than that, it’s really just a way for a community to get together and have some fun talking sports with like-minded individuals. Oh, and for those of you that think there aren’t many of us out there – check for my name in other parts of this issue. You’ll find it under “Sports Editor” in the mast head, and obsessing about all things NHL just a few pages to the right.

Sounds great, right? Stop laughing. It is. Anyway, in their latest move of supreme douche-baggery, the United States Olympic Committee (USOC) has sent Casey Forbes (the self-professed “code monkey” and father of Ravelry) a cease and desist letter. Yes, apparently the Olympics—which have been around since Homer was kicking—is an institution and “brand” so weak that they’re threatened by a bunch of crafters. Oh, and apparently, the Ravelympics are insulting.

The official notice, sent by one Brett Hirsch, Law Clerk, states as follows: “We believe using the name ‘Ravelympics’ for a competition that involves an afghan marathon, scarf hockey and sweater triathlon, among others, tends to denigrate the

true nature of the Olympic Games.

In a sense, it is disrespectful to our country’s finest athletes and fails to recognize or appreciate their hard work.”

Yes. I’m sure Michael Phelps is super insulted by the hordes of adoring knitters and crocheters who alternate ooh-ing and aah-ing over his perfect form with showing each other how far along in their shawl they are. All those furiously waving needles are going to knock him right off that uber-delicate golden podium he’s gotten so used to standing on.

Yup, us yarn crafters are probably super high up on his radar.

The best part about the notice sent to Forbes and his team at Ravelry is that it contradicts itself. It states—just one paragraph before saying how insulting the Ravelympics are—that “The Olympic Games represent ideals that go beyond sport to encompass culture and education, tolerance and respect, world peace and harmony.” Last time I checked, culture means art, and knitting et al. is an art form. One of the oldest forms there is, in fact. Heck, weaving has been around as long as the Olympics themselves. And I don’t know about you, but that whole “world peace and harmony” thing sure seems like it could be achieved pretty well if everyone sat down to chill the heck out with some fluffy balls of yarn.

Ravelry has decided to play nice: the Ravelympics are now the Ravelennics. As the International Olympic Committee (IOC) does not have a trademark on every sport name, they cannot force Ravellers to change event names (for example, the afghan marathon does not need to become the afghan wink-wink nudgenudge). All forum post titles made by Ravelry moderators will not include “London 2012” – as with “Vancouver 2010,” it’s trademarked. The USOC, in turn, has apologized for their “regrettable accusations” and negative terminology.

It seems like everyone has made nice, but the real problem here is that the Olympics are no longer what they once were. They don’t celebrate unity and harmony, they celebrate sponsorships and cash. Living in a post-Olympic city, we’ve seen the benefits – but is it really worth pretending the event is such a beautiful thing when it’s worse than the threering circus that is the Super Bowl?

The long and short of it is that the International Olympic Committee—and its various factions—have gotten much too big for their (woven, which is a fibre art) britches. It’s time for them to have a slice of humble pie and remember what the Olympics are really about. I’m sure the folks at Ravelry would be happy to help out. They may even have a few spare fluffy balls of yarn.

www.ufvcascade.ca

WEDNESDAY, JULY 18, 2012

9

OPINION

Top free movement: ending sexism and body shame JOEL SMART

The questions are:

THE CASCADE When Moira Johnston goes for a walk in the summer heat, she tends to attract a fair amount of attention. That’s because, as a female rights activist, she’s trying to raise awareness that in the state of New York, where she lives, it’s perfectly legal for a woman to be topless in any space—public or not—where a man is allowed to be shirtless. It’s legal here too, and has been since 2008, but there is a reason why the majority of women still wouldn’t consider it.

Although many women are glad this bit of equality was fought for and won—and many admit how wonderful it sounds to be without the extra clothing on a hot day—actually going without a top in a public space seems like a nightmare for many.

That’s because our culture has sexualized the female breast.

Women don’t want that added negative attention – the cat calls, the stares and the insults. They don’t want to be sexualized by every passerby they meet. But breasts aren’t sexual organs; their only difference from a male is the presence of fatty deposits. In many parts of the world, breasts aren’t treated the way they are here, and women feel totally at ease with them uncovered. We are the ones who decided a man’s chest is fine, but a woman’s is indecent.

The sexualized nature of breasts in our culture doesn’t just affect women wanting to cool down. It affects breastfeeding mothers who face hoards of offended strangers every time they feed their child.

When mothers are asked to feed their children in the bathroom, it’s a sign that things have gone too far. We’ve got to change our attitude towards breasts.

Dave Quist, the executive directory of the Institute of Marriage and Family Canada, told The Georgia Straight in a 2008 interview that while he and many others respect the right of women to take off their tops, he still has an issue with it. “I don’t want their rights to interfere with my rights not to be offended, not to have my children see that, and so that’s where we run into conflict,” he said. Although no such right “not to be offended” exists, there is a debate about whether or not those with conservative values have a right to hide the sight of breasts from their children – by forcing women to keep them covered.

The easy solution seems to be to ask people to keep controversial activities out of the public sphere, but this argument is always used to reinforce the dominant views of a society – whether they’re sexist, ageist, racist, or otherwise unfair.

Homosexuals, interracial couples, and transgendered folk have all been mistreated through this ideology.

Instead, the best course of action is to place individual rights and freedoms at the top of our list of priorities. Offended individuals, thankfully, will maintain the right to look away.

It is important—even for those offended—to realize that a woman without a top on is not asking for sexual comments, she’s not ask-

1. Favourite summer Olympic sport?

2. What’s your stance on the Enbridge pipeline?

3. What do you think about rape jokes?

4. It’s legal for a woman to go topless in public ... how do you feel about that?

Sarah F 1. Everything! Track and Field.

2. N/A 3. Not Cool.

4. I am not sure how I feel about it ... I

guess it’s a free world? Shows women do have freedom to do what they want.

Claire Ens 1. Soccer 2. Against, Enbridge is known to have

produced leaky pipelines in the past and has high potential to do it again.

3. Not funny in the slightest, never an appropriate context for that kind of humour.

4. Did not know that, but I think that’s fair considering the number of men who decide such a look suits themselves.

Jordan Todd 1. Bobsledding 2. The idea of the pipeline isn’t inherently

image: PDXbunchgrasser/Flickr

ing to be stared at or to have her breasts rated. She’s not acting like a “slut” or a “whore” – she’s not doing anything different than a topless guy. She’s not hurting anyone.

Every argument to the contrary is socially-constructed sexism.

We should all be especially concerned when this sexism sneaks into our laws. Unlike in Vancouver, Seattle currently prohibits women from baring their breasts.

Joedy Jaeks, a cancer survivor who had a double mastectomy, was victimized by this policy when she attempted to swim at her local pool without a top on. According to The National Post, wearing a top caused “searing pain” due to the scars on her chest. However, the Seattle Parks and Recreation department policy requires “gender appropriate” clothing, Jaeks told the paper.

After a long process, Jaeks did receive a special exemption, but the policy has remained the same – even for other cancer patients.

Ultimately, policies like the one in Seattle (and the mindset of those who create and enforce them) are the leading cause of body shame.

By labeling normal parts of our bodies “indecent” we teach our children a very unfortunate message – that our bodies are bad. This

is reinforced time and time again by sexualized advertisements in the media that promote only specific body types. This shame is deeply embedded in us from a young age and has enormous influence over us. It’s not healthy. It holds us back. It makes us feel embarrassed and shy and powerless.

But it can be overcome.

The first step in the healing process is to see normal bodies.

Normal people with normal body parts are (you guessed it) totally normal. It only takes 10 seconds at Wreck Beach to recognize how varied body types can be, and how many of them we’re just not exposed to in our daily lives. No wonder we have such unrealistic expectations.

For Kimberly Parrott, a woman who often walks top free in New Westminster and Burnaby, it’s an incredibly important message for people to learn. “If people continue to say ‘look, bodies aren’t shameful!’ and teach their kids that there’s nothing wrong with nudity, then maybe in my lifetime the children will be able to say, ‘there’s nothing shameful about my body,’” she told The Georgia Straight. It’s an optimistic goal, but one that I am proud to support.

bad. All of us, including those who vehemently oppose the pipeline live a life that for the most part takes our usage of oil for granted. However, the standards and precautions typically taken (and enforced) by our government and by corporations such as Enbridge are far too ineffective and almost non-existent. The standards would have to change before I approved such a project.

3. Jokes are often deemed acceptable based on timing and audience.

But, given the very real violence and abuse that rape involves, along with the overarching issues which still exist surrounding women’s identities, sexuality, image and relationship to men, such jokes are told at great expense.

4. Yes I did. I hope that one day in a town such as Abbotsford, BC, a

woman will be able to publically pose for a tribal cover shot in a National Geographic.

Sam Khamkar 1. Badminton 2. I have no idea what “Enbridge pipeline” is. Never read about it.

3. I don’t think it’s a good idea to have

these kinds of jokes because it’s really embarrassing and makes me feel as if we are not respecting women enough to stop it.

4. I have never heard of it. How can this be? We live in an era where we always strive for safety of women. It’s really odd that we have promoted something as bad as this and have given it a legal status.

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WEDNESDAY, JULY 18, 2012

ARTS & LIFE

CROSSWORD 1

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3

4 5

6 7 8 9 10

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The cult of Tolkien

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PAUL ESAU THE CASCADE

ACROSS 2. Witless worm with a forked tongue, at least according to Gandalf (5 letters) 5. Prince of Dol Amroth (7 letters) 7. The Black Pit (5 letters) 8. Frodo, son of _____ (5 letters) 9. “He that _____ a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom” Gandalf (6 letters) 13. The second ‘R’ in J.R.R. Tolkien (5 letters) 15. Galadriel’s gift to Gimli (4 letters) 16. Son of Elendil (7 letters) 17. Meriadoc Brandybuck and _______Took (8 letters) 18. Galadriel’s Ring of Power (5 letters)

DOWN

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16 17 18

EclipseCrossword.com

1. Durin’s Bane (6 letters) 3. Gil-Galad’s spear (6 letters) 4. Tower of the Moon (5, 5 letters) 6. Original number of Istari (4 letters) 9. Sam Gamgee’s favourite pony (4 letters) 10. The cats of Queen _______ (9 letters) 11. Popular Bywater inn: The Green ______ (6 letters) 12. Rangers of the North (8 letters) 14. Mt. Doom (8 letters)

LAST WEEK’S Answer Key Across

3. Bruins 8. Cocker Spaniel 9. Brian 10. Snowy 12. Jughead 13. Dog Whisperer

Down 1. Krypto 2. Basketball 4. Santa 5. Lassie 6. Beagle 7. Wishbone 8. Clifford 11. Cairn

The Weekly Horoscope Star Signs from the Swamp Bob Aquarius: Jan 20 - Feb 18

Gemini: May 21 - June 21

Libra: Sept 23 - Oct 22

The stars stay tight-lipped about your future; the planets, however, say your mother dresses you funny.

Jupiter is being a tad coquettish today leading me to believe that two days after the last day that you scratched your left ear with your right hand is the perfect time to declare your unrequited love to a secret crush.

Mercury whispers that recent loss in your life can be filled by the addition of a new friend. Sea monkeys can fill that void.

Pisces: Feb 19 - March 20 The alignment of Pluto and Mars has them talking, and they both agree that you should eat your own weight in sushi. (This horoscope brought to you by the Sushi Shack and the letter W).

Aries: March 21 - April 19 The stars are being rather reticent about the safety of your future. So today may be an excellent time to start your new hobby, shark baiting or begonia cultivation.

Taurus: April 20 - May 20 Neptune is being a right banal little twit today, so now is a good day to spend time with your family and friends and watch the moon landing.

Tomorrow will be a good day to figure out how you wound up in 1969.

Cancer: June 22 - July 22

Scorpio: Oct 23 - Nov 21

The passing encounter of Jupiter and its moon Ganymede suggest new love on your horizon.

Today will feel like the perfect day to buy a lottery ticket. Don’t do it. Your cat’s lucky numbers however are 3, 29, 82, 4 and spatula

Leo: July 23 - Aug 22

Sagittarius: Nov 22 - Dec 21

Venus is giving Mercury the cold shoulder which suggests the possibility of a new hair cut in your future ... or a rain of frogs in Azerbaijan.

The stars’ path through the celestial body indicates that horses have it out for you. Avoid all stables, western re-enactment shows, Cirque du Soleil Cavalia and royal weddings at all costs.

Virgo: Aug 23 - Sept 22 Beware the man who bares the mark of the rubber duck.

Capricorn: Dec 22 - Jan 19 The pell-mell rotation of Saturn’s rings suggests now is the time to take charge of your financial standings.

Invest all your money in durian fruit.

Visit us at www.monktucky.com!

WEDNESDAY, JULY 18, 2012

www.ufvcascade.ca

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ARTS & LIFE

The Cascade Cookbook The Editor-In-Chief ’s Mom’s Black Midnight Cupcakes

EIC’s Note: These cupcakes are the reason I got this job in the first place. No seriously, I was the only candidate who brought cupcakes to the interview, and they’re the reason I got hired (at least according to the official minutes). Maybe they should have hired my mother instead and cut out the middle man...

Drink o’ the Week Jenny Jazzberry

“There’s nothing better than sitting down to your own freshly made, chocolaty cupcake with velvety chocolate buttercream to top it off. Put your feet up, grab a cup of coffee and devote yourself to a few minutes of bliss.”- Karen Esau

Ingredients:

2 1/4 cups flour 1 2/3 cups sugar 2/3 cup cocoa powder 1/2 tsp. espresso powder 1 1/4 tsp. baking soda 1 tsp. salt 1/4 tsp. baking powder 1 1/4 cups buttermilk, maybe a little more 3/4 cup butter, melted 2 eggs 1 tsp. vanilla

Directions:

Line muffin tins with cupcake papers. (24ish). Set oven for 350°. Let preheat fully.

In large bowl, mix together all dry ingredients until blended. Add the wet ingredients, except the buttermilk (you can make your own buttermilk by adding 1 tbsp. vinegar or lemon juice to the 1 1/4 cups milk). Using a hand mixer on low speed, start mixing the wet into the dry, adding the buttermilk into the mix 1/3 at a time every few seconds as it’s incorporated until it’s all used up. Turn mixer speed up to high and mix for 2 minutes until batter is smooth.

Scoop batter into cupcake papers, filling to almost 3/4 full. Bake for 17-20 minutes until done (stick a toothpick into the middle of one of the cupcakes and if it comes out clean, they’re

done!). Take cupcakes from oven, remove from muffin tin and let cool.

Make icing while they cool (these are approximate measures): 2/3 cup cocoa powder 3 cups icing sugar 1/2 cup butter, or more, softened 1 tsp. vanilla 1/2 tsp. espresso powder 1/4 to 1/3 cup milk

The exclusive drink of the famous Cascade drink columnist.

A splash of (quality) vodka A wallop of raspberry Sourpuss A smattering of orange juice A lot of SunRype raspberry juice

Mix all the ingredients together for icing, adding only 1/4 cup milk to begin with. Beat with mixer slowly at first and then at a higher speed once cocoa has been incorporated. Add more milk as needed but be careful about adding too much – adding more soft butter will give you a more stable, glossy icing. Beat until the icing is very smooth and soft enough to spread but also holds its shape. Ice cupcakes when they are completely cool or else icing will simply melt right off of them. Eat now.

Fill glass 3/4 full of raspberry juice. Add a bit of vodka and a good amount of sourpuss. Add enough orange juice to give the drink a faint orangey color, but not too much. Mix and add ice. Garnish with raspberries and a little drink umbrella.

Ideal for: Arts & Life Bad for: Sports On The Cascade scale: A+++

*Espresso powder really helps enhance the chocolate flavour, but you can omit if you want.

Cost: These cost way less than those expensive cupcake places and you get to share them with friends, or make friends by sharing them!

Image:Esau Family

EIC Paul Esau with mother Karen

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WEDNESDAY, JULY 18, 2012

ARTS & LIFE

2012 Olympic Previews Tennis Gold Medals available: 5 Point of Interest: This will be the first grass court tournament held since tennis was re-introduced to the Olympics in 1988. All events will be held at Wimbledon.

What to watch and why: Men’s Doubles, July 27 at 12:00 BMT (4:00 a.m.

PST), because 22-yearold Vasek Pospisil will be competing with 39-yearold Daniel Nestor. Nestor is the only Canadian to have ever won a medal in tennis – he and partner Sebastien Lareau won gold in Beijing.

Karen Aney

Equestrianism Gold Medals available: 6 Points of interest: We’ve got Royals and Presidential candidates with invested interest in equestrianism. Zara Phillips, great granddaughter of Queen Elizabeth 11, is competing for Britain’s eventing team. Meanwhile, Mitt Romney’s wife is a part owner of a horse named Rafalca on the US dressage team.

Queen Elizabeth 11 and Mitt Romney might both make an appearance.

What to watch and why: August 4, 18:30 BMT (10:30 a.m. PST), team jumping. 64-year-old Ian Millar will be contending for Canada. In Bejiing 2008, in his ninth appearance in the games, Millar received his first medal: silver for team jumping at the age of 61. Will number 10 bring him luck?

Sasha Moedt

Gymnastics

Football (Soccer)

Gold Medals available: 18

Gold Medals Available: 2

Point of interest: Canada has never won a medal in artistic gymnastics; on the other hand, Canadian trampoline gymnast Jason Burnett not only won silver in the 2008 Olympics, but also holds the record for most difficult routine.

Point of Interest: Football was introduced into the Modern Olympic Games in 1900 as the first ever team sport; European teams dominated the event until 1996. Spain was the last national team (men’s) to earn the gold medal for Europe, and is in a good position to retain the honour. Canada’s men have qualified three times in the 100+ years they’ve been competing.

The women have qualified twice in the four competitions they have been allowed to enter.

What to watch and why: Women’s Artistic Gymnastics Team, July 31 at 16:30 BMT (8:30 a.m.

PST) and Individual AllAround August 2 at 16:30 BMT (8:30 a.m. PST) to support local Coquitlam athlete Brittany Rogers.

Women’s Group Rhythmic Gymnastics, August 12 at 13:30 BMT (5:30 a.m. PST) will have Canada’s first ever Olympic rhythmic group team competing.

Men’s Trampoline Gymnastics, August 3 at 14:00 BMT (6 a.m. PST) where record-breaking Canadian silver-medalist Jason Burnett will be a serious contender for gold.

Jennifer Colbourne

What to watch and why: Canada Women’s National team. First round matches July 25th, 17:00 BMT (9:00am PST) vs. Japan; July 28, 14:45 BMT (6:45am PST) vs. South Africa and July 31, 14:30 BMT (6:30am PST) vs.

Sweden. Canada’s Striker/team captain Christine Sinclair is from Burnaby, and midfielder Sophie Schmidt is from Abbotsford. Sinclair is considered to be the best player ever to come out of Canada.

Jess Wind

WEDNESDAY, JULY 18, 2012

www.ufvcascade.ca

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ARTS & LIFE Running

Swimming

Gold Medals available: 47 (including all Athletics events)

Gold Medals: 35

Point of Interest: Jamaica’s Usain Bolt, called “The Fastest Man in the World”, is surely going to be working hard to maintain his title. Some fierce competition this year for the 100 metre will be Bolts’ rival American Tyson Gay who holds the second fasted 100 metre record of all time, just under Bolt. That means an intense under-10-second race; who doesn’t have time for that? Also, Mark Zuckerberg’s freshman roommate, Americanborn Samyr Laine, will be competing for Haiti.

What to watch and why: Now if watching women run is more your thing (no comment), then here is the race for you to tune into. Kenya’s Vivian Cheruiyot, the world’s 5000 metre record holder, against, well you probably won’t see them anyways because Cheruiyot will have finished that race by the time the announcers introduce the athletes. She’ll be competing in the 10,000 m on August 3 at 21:25 BMT (11:25 a.m. PST).

One last athlete to make sure you see is Mo Farah, Britain’s 5,000 metre record holder. He is sure to blow the competition out of the water with his 12-minute 53-second record. He’ll then have enough time to distribute some life jackets to them before the race is over, because this isn’t a swim meet people. Watch him in the Men’s 10,000m race on August 4 at 21:15 BMT (11:15 a.m. PST).

Katie Tegtmeier

Point of Interest: This is supposedly the last time Michael Phelps will participate in the Olympics. Although it is still under speculation, he told Anderson Cooper that he would be finished “once” he retired.

What to watch and why: The reappearance of USA’s Michael Phelps is a definite attraction. With eight medal wins in the previous Olympics, he requires only three more to become the most distinguished Olympian in history. During Beijing’s 200m butterly event, he took gold despite his goggles filling up with water halfway through the race, rendering him sightless.

This could be the one time he’d most like to improve upon: it will be held on July 28 at 19:47 BMT (9:47 a.m. PST).

It’s also worth tuning in to watch UBC student Savannah King. Since debuting at the 2008 Olympics, she’s broken a number of Canadian records for long distance freestyle. Her best shot is at the 800m freestyle. The final will be held on August 3 at 19:45 BMT (9:47 a.m. PST).

Diving Gold Medals available: 8 Points of Interest: Canada’s last (and only) gold medal in a diving event came in 1984, when Sylvie Bernier won the Women’s 3m individual springboard event. China and the United States have won the lion’s share of diving gold medals over the years; The USA has 48, China has 27 and Sweden, in a distant third place, has six. This year, nine Canadians are competing for medals in the diving events.

Jeremy Hannaford

Canoe Kayak (Slalom/ Sprint) Medals Available: 16 Point of Interest: 13,000 litres of water power down the canoe slalom course every second, enough to fill a 25m swimming pool every 30 seconds.

What to watch and why: C-2 (Canoe Double) Men, Monday July 30 at 13:30 BMT (5:30 a.m. PST).

Watch Slovak twins Peter and Pavol Hochschorner, three-time Olympic champions in the C2 canoeing class, use that twin intuition to battle their toughest rivals, the French, Czech and German teams.

Nadine Moedt

What to Watch and Why: Men’s 3m Synchronized Springboard Final: Wednesday, August 1, 15:00 BMT (7:00 a.m. PST) Men’s 3m Individual Springboard Final: Tuesday, August 7, 19:00 BMT (11:00 a.m. PST) Alexandre Despatie has won two silver Olympic medals for Canada in the past, and hopes to add a Gold medal to his list of accomplishments. He is performing in both the men’s 3m individual springboard and men’s 3m synchronized springboard events, despite recovering from a recent injury. It is his fourth Olympic appearance.

Men’s 10m Individual Platform Final: Saturday, August 11, 20:30 BMT (12:00 p.m. PST) Victoria-born Riley McCormick is diving in the men’s 10m individual platform event; he placed 16th at the 2008 Olympics.

Women’s 10m Synchronized Platform Final: Tuesday, July 31, 15:00 BMT (7:00 a.m. PST) Women’s 10m Individual Platform Final: Thursday, August 9, 19:00 BMT (11:00 a.m. PST) Meaghan Benfeito and Roseline Filion are both excellent divers on their own, and are both competing in the individual 10m as well, but together they are a much more daunting threat due to their similar physique and diving styles. While they may not medal individually, it will be a let down if they can’t at least land a bronze in the synchronized dive.

Women’s 3m Synchronized Springboard Final: Sunday, July 29, 15:00 BMT (7:00 a.m. PST) Women’s 3m Individual Springboard Final: Sunday, August 5, 19:00 BMT (11:00 a.m. PST) Èmilie Heymans, like Alexandre Despatie, is making her fourth visit to the Olympics. She has won two silvers and a bronze. This year, she is competing in the 3m Springboard events, both Individual and Synchronized. Her partner, also in both events, is Jennifer Abel, who was just 16 when she attended the 2008 Olympics.

Joel Smart

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WEDNESDAY, JULY 18, 2012

ARTS & LIFE Judo: 柔道 Cycling

Gold Medals available: 14

Gold Medals Available: 18

Point of interest: Judo was first introduced into the Olympics in 1964.

Much to the disappointment of the Japanese, a man from the Netherlands, Anton Geesink, won gold in the opening year. However, Judo did not return as an Olympic sport in the 1968 Olympics, but returned in the following 1972 games.

Point of interest: The road races have gained much attention and will include an incredible route with the Zig Zag Road incline and the Donkey Green area of Box Hill in Surrey.

The area will offer spectators a fantastic view of the road races, with the men’s race looping Box Hill nine times and the women’s twice. The rest of the route, which travels through six London boroughs, four Royal Parks and Surrey countryside, offers spectators approximately 120 km of road to watch the race for free.

Spectators can also view the race for free from other roads on the Box Hill Loop, excluding the Zig-Zag Road incline and Donkey Green area.

What to watch and why: While any match is going to be fun to watch, I recommend tuning in to watch the Men’s under 73 kilo category. This match will feature the first ever Palestinian Olympic Athlete, Maher Abu Rmeileh.

The elimination rounds begin at 9:30 BMT (1:00 a.m. PST) and continue throughout the day (or night).

Anthony Biondi トニー ビオンジ

Basketball Gold Medals Available: 3 Point of Interest: The U.S. Men’s basketball team has won 13 of a possible 17 gold medals since the sport’s first inclusion during the 1936 games in Berlin. The U.S. Women’s team has won six of a possible nine gold medals since their addition in 1976. Canada has only medaled once, in Berlin in 1936 … in a game played on a muddy outdoor lawn tennis court … in which Canada lost to the U.S. by a score of 19-8.

What to watch and why: Blake Griffin. Let’s not fool ourselves into thinking this is an international competition, when in fact it’s about the trials, the tribulations, and the petty squabbles of the U.S. squad. A U.S. squad which happens to include one of the best dunkers in the known universe, Blake Griffin. Blake Griffin! I hope they allow Kia Optimas into London’s new Basketball Arena.

He and his Gold medal Americans will be playing Argentina, the defending Bronze medalists, on August 8 at 22:15 BMT (12:15 p.m. PST).

Paul Esau

Olympic Boxing Gold Medals available: 13 Point of interest: It has been alleged that there has been a $9 million payout to the International Boxing Association to fix the gold medal results in the favour of Azerbaijan, and an investigation is being launched. The payout has been confirmed—it actually happened—but the investigation has yet to determine if the money was given in exchange for metals. The game might just be fixed from the start. Who knows?

What to watch and why: All of the boxing will probably be of an excellent quality if it’s anything compared to the other boxing we’ve seen this year, but in particular keep an eye out for the Men’s Bantam matches which will take place on July 28, at 13:30 BMT (5:30 a.m. PST)first fights are often high energy, and full of ambition and vigour.

Alexei Summers

What to watch and why: Host country Great Britain will have a strong team lined up and will be hoping to repeat last year’s victory at the World Championships where Mark Cavendish, the world’s top road racer, overtook Australian Matt Gross in an impressive sprint. He’ll be competing in the Men’s road race on July 28 at 10:00 BMT (2:00 a.m. PST).

Paige Hoblak

WEDNESDAY, JULY 18, 2012

www.ufvcascade.ca

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ARTS & LIFE

Dine & Dash:

Pasta Polo

We are accepting until July 20 applications for the position of

114- 19665 Willowbrook Dr., Langley 604.532.5661 Mon to Thurs: 11 a.m. to 10 p.m.

Fri and Sat: 11 a.m. to 11 p.m.

Sun: 11 a.m. to 9 p.m.

Cost: $10-$17

KAREN ANEY THE CASCADE

I need to preface this by saying that I’m not a huge fan of pasta. It’s heavy, bland and typically topped with cheap and tasteless cheese – none of this is a recipe for a great meal, in my opinion. The exception to this rule? Langley—and Coquitlam’s—Pasta Polo, where the heavy and the bland is replaced with the flavourful and the freshly-made.

For the first time in about a year, I stopped by the Langley location. Beforehand, I called to make sure they were open, as it was 7:45 p.m. and I was about half-an-hour away. The friendly employee who answered the phone said “Oh, probably until about nine...” as they typically close at 10, but hot weather means less business, so they sometimes close early. We got there at about 8:15, and received no dirty looks at all – no small miracle, as I’ve worked in retail long enough to hate people who show up looking like they want to camp out at a table and have a three-hour-long conversation. My boyfriend and I are those people, too. We talk a lot. People can tell that we’re going to be difficult to get rid of. It’s part of our charm. Or something.

When our server greeted us, it was with a basket of fresh focaccia bread and a small side of a slightly spicy marinara dip. I had forgotten about this eccentric offering – the generous portion and obvious quality behind the great taste is a welcome greeting while mulling over the menu.

I will say that the menu is probably the lone fault of the establishment: there are some grammar mistakes that my writer/editor self cringes at, and it isn’t entirely

Image: Karen Aney

coherent. Some menu items, for instance, list an option of four sauces, while the next item—though you can choose between the same four sauces—does not indicate anything along those lines.

This wasn’t too bothersome, as our server was quite cheerful and willing to answer any questions that came up, like with our gnocchi pasta entrée. We wanted it with the rosé sauce—our server’s recommendation—and baked with cheese. The baked gnocchi comes with cream and four cheeses baked on top for $15.95.

The plain gnocchi—just sauce, no cheese—is $14.95. Our server said that getting cheese baked on top cost $2.25 extra, and after some debate as to which ordering method was cheaper (I told you my boyfriend and I were “those people”), she cheerfully offered to figure out which was cheaper and bill it as such. The happy ending was that they gave us the baked gnocchi and switched to the rosé sauce for free.

I’m a rather recent vegetarian, and I’ve been becoming gradually pickier with the traces of animal products found in what I eat. As such, when ordering our second entrée—a pizza that either came as seven-inch with a side caesar salad or 10-inch without—I asked the server if she knew if their caesar dressing had anchovies (fun fact:

most non-specifically-denoted-asvegetarian caesar dressings do).

She said “I have no idea, but I’ll check that for you!” and immediately turned around to run to the kitchen and find out.

I didn’t get the impression that I was being an annoyance for asking (which I get pretty concerned about), and she was apologetic upon returning (less than 30 seconds later, the kitchen obviously knows their stuff) and informing me that it did, in fact, have anchovies. Speaking from experience, it’s pretty rare to find a server who won’t just say “I don’t know” when faced with that type of question, or worse – say no, even though they have no clue what I’m talking about.

Our food was served quickly – a short enough time span that I hadn’t started to look at my watch yet. With it, we were offered fresh ground pepper and, more importantly, fresh parmesan. No, not the powdered crap, and not the hard rocks they use at cheaper pasta joints. Fresh, glorious parmesan, which was grated on until we could hardly see the pasta and pizza underneath. For the record, we didn’t ask for extra – they were just happy to give us that much.

While the pizza was good, with its homemade thin-crust and nice charred taste, the real star was the gnocchi. Folks, if you haven’t

had fresh, home-made pasta, you need to. Like, tonight. Pasta Polo’s is organic and made on the premises of their Coquitlam location.

It’s an indescribable taste difference – while store-bought gnocchi tastes like a pile of flour, these taste like delightfully-chewy pillows of awesomeness.

The rosé, a mixture of the tomato basil and alfredo sauces, was bursting with savoury flavour. Oh, and the portion size? Though we both came with sizable appetites, we didn’t finish half of either entree. The pasta portion is easily enough for a full dinner one night and lunch the next day. In fact, I ate my leftovers while writing this review. They’re still just as good.

To finish off our meal, we had the tiramisu. Also made fresh by Pasta Polo – and you can tell. The espresso in it was actually real espresso, rather than the flavoured powdering that often adorns the store-bought versions. The mascarpone cheese was, again ... real.

The cake was creamy and bursting with flavour – the best tiramisu I’ve ever had.

Oh, and it was $5.50 for a portion size that, once more, we weren’t able to finish. When we commented on how big a serving it was, the server replied, “Really?

They’re usually bigger. This was the last one and it looks kind of small, I was going to apologize.”

Given the richness of the cake and the reasonable price, we would have been satisfied with something half the size.

Overall, Pasta Polo is one of those rare, hidden gems. The menu doesn’t look that awesome and the restaurant’s appearance isn’t anything to write home about, but the food is local, organic, freshly made from scratch and amazingly tasty.

The prices are ridiculously reasonable given the portion sizes, and the service is prompt, knowledgeable and friendly. It’s definitely worth the visit – oh, and there’s a coupon in the 2012 Entertainment Book to buy one entrée and get one free.

Arts & Life Editor The Arts and Life editor of The Cascade is responsible for assigning, collecting and editing the content of the Arts and Life section of The Cascade. The Arts and Life editor shall ensure that issues relevant to students are presented in his/her section, and allow the UFV arts community to be represented in his/her section. At all times, the Arts and Life editor shall adhere to the Cascade Journalism Society’s bylaws, Code of Conduct and other polices, as well as ensuring that all material in his/her section does not violate the Canadian University Press Code of Ethics.

Qualifications: 1) Must be registered in at least one credit course during the fall/winter semesters.

2) Must be available to work varying hours.

3) Must be available to be present in the office for at least five hours per week.

4) Must be able to deal effectively with Society and University staff, students and the public.

5) Must demonstrate strong command of the English language by passing an editing test, which will be administered during the interview process.

6) Must have knowledge of all relevant laws and journalistic standards concerning libel.

Position starts: August 2012.

Please send resume, statement of interest, and sample arts article to Paul Esau (esau@ufvcascade.ca)

Make your way to the Press Cafe JESS WIND

CONTRIBUTOR Frustrated with trying to find somewhere on campus to study?

Stacks are too quiet – someone sneezes or pretends to subtly open a bag of chips and that train of thought you had is a lost cause.

The cafeteria is too loud and too smelly – a room full of students trying to let their brains relax, mixed with the clashing aroma of world cuisine. Study rooms feel too much like class; common areas are too crowded or uncomfortable.

I can’t count how many papers have been written and how many exams have been crammed for from the comfort of a coffee shop.

But hey, Starbucks is expensive.

However, hiding among the overpriced books and smattering of UFV apparel at the bookstore is a cozy little coffee shop boasting certified local and organic beans and a place to comfortably enjoy it.

The Press Cafe is located inside the Abbotsford campus bookstore, in the far right corner. Their summer hours are in alignment with

the bookstore’s hours, but there is a separate entrance. You are free to enjoy a cup of freshly brewed coffee between 8:30 a.m. and 4:30 p.m. from Monday to Friday. These hours are, of course, more convenient than AfterMath and more consistent than the cafeteria.

A 12 oz. cup of coffee from Starbucks goes for $1.96, the same size is sold right on campus and ground and brewed in front of you for $1.85. If you prefer the smoother, fuller flavour of a French pressed cup of coffee, The Press Cafe offers a 12 oz. press in two different roasts for $2.

An elaborately decorated chalkboard highlights the coffee offerings as well as a lunch menu, delivered daily from Little Saigon Vietnamese in Abbotsford. Students can get a hot cup of fresh soup for under $3 or a larger meal for less than $8. They also offer breakfast: a Jimmy Dean egg sandwich and cup of coffee for $4 (a Starbucks breakfast sandwich alone is $4.42). The counter is also home to other food preparation equipment that the menu appears

Image: Jess Wind

not to utilize; I would hope that students and staff continue to support and facilitate growth of The Press Cafe in order to expand what it can offer us.

But the student friendly prices are not the only selling feature of this hidden gem on campus.

I meandered through the doors while investigating for this article, and I ended up staying the afternoon, and I went back the follow-

ing week. The quality high tables make for a comfortable place to spread out homework, or you can park it in one of the leather chairs around the coffee table and relax with a book. Daylight pours through the floor to ceiling windows and music plays, covering up any business noise from the bookstore. The cafe is organized in such a way that traffic is directed away from the tables and allows

for a virtually uninterrupted study space that doesn’t feel like a silent cave with fluorescent lighting.

If you are sick of the watered down, over-sweetened, questionable coffee from certain other “coffee shops” on campus, The Press Cafe is a convenient and affordable option that offers a warm and inviting study space and, for the moment, some privacy.

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ARTS & LIFE

CHARTS

Shuffle

Oh Village Headlights/Red Death

CIVL DJ/WHO IS THAT GUY

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Cadence Weapon Hope In Dirt City Apollo Ghosts Landmark Grimes Visions

WEDNESDAY, JULY 18, 2012

Q&A: The Parish of Little Clifton

DARYL JOHNSON

Daryl Johnson hosts Disposable Existence on CIVL every Monday from 1-3. He thinks flannel is silly, that your taste in music is pedestrian, pretzels are best when soft and covered in cheese, mowing lawns is more fun than playing video games and, also, all I wanted was a pepsi and you wouldn’t give it to me.

Fist City It’s 1983 Grow Up

Teen Daze All Of Us, Together

Cousins The Palm At The End Of The Mind

8

Mac DeMarco Rock and Roll Night Club

9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20

First Aid Kit The Lion’s Roar Humans Traps

Facts Like A Living Being The Courtneys K.C. Reeves Japandroids Celebration Rock Teapot Hill Night Night Rock White Lung Sorry Echo Lake Wild Peace Gossip A Joyful Noise The Shins Port Of Morrow Needles/Pins 12:34

Regina Spektor What We Saw From The Cheap Seats

Hewhocorrupts - “Q: Can I Sample This? A: No” The song “Q: Can I Sample This? A: No” by Hewhocorrupts is a representation of cherished family memories and sun soaked days at your Lake Como villa; everyone has those right? More than that, it’s a cry of humanity, a humanity longing for sense of true normalcy, instead of beleaguered angst.

Robocop - “You Suffer” When I think of the heavy toll of war, the toll of lost family members, lost tax money and lost political reputation, I can only think of the song “You Suffer” by Orno, Maine, band Robocop. Pure freedom, an ecstasy of the ear, this song reveals an abstract world unactualized.

James Doesn’t Exist - “Fist” If I had a stone wall, I’m sure this song would be a perfect match for it “Fist” by the band James Doesn’t Exist will drench said wall in the blood of a thousand ferrets, ferrets who valiantly battled in the great weasel wars on the planet Pankrato-7. This happened.

The Hand - “Rev. Jerry Falwell” The garbage you see on the ground, yet neglect to pick up; not picking it up equates you to the level of the person who left it. Then the feeling you get inside when you realize this is equal to the meaning of the song “Rev. Jerry Falwell” by Abbotsford legends, The Hand.

Image: Used with permission from The Parish of Little Clifton

JENNIFER COLBOURNE THE CASCADE

When I met CIVL charts climber The Parish of Little Clifton a.k.a.

Simon Bridgefoot playing at a house party, I was blown away by the 20-year-old’s serious talent.

Undoubtedly, Bridgefoot brings a musicality to electronic music too often overlooked; he lovingly manipulates his computer and board the way a gypsy strokes the strings of a well-cherished guitar. Bridgefoot styles his wide-ranging electronica music as “seasonal pop,” a melodic upbeat mix with strong rhythms and innovative sounds.

Already with half a dozen albums under his belt, Bridgefoot makes music for the sheer joy of it as part of Cultus Vibes, an online indie label that prides itself on offering music for free.

How did you get started?

In high school I made loads of cheesy Garageband tracks on my laptop, and then about one year ago I began actually being intentional and creative about what I was composing.

How did you shift from an acoustic folk project to electronica?

I became insecure about my voice and intrigued by the composition of electronic music, so it just seemed natural to make the switch over. I was also very curious as to how a lot of the electronic records I was listening to were made. I remember listening to Baths’ Cerulean thinking, “How does he do this?” and a year later I can listen to it and understand what’s going on.

Why “The Parish of Little Clifton?”

When I was thinking about a moniker I just googled my last name to see what would come up, and in about two minutes “The Parish Of Little Clifton” came up and I thought it would look nice in type.

If your sound was a colour, what would it be?

I think the stuff I’m writing currently is a deep navy with moments of gold and green – but I think the album art for Portia is a pretty accurate representation of the colour of that record.

What would be your dream show?

If Brian Eno did an ambient set at the Orpheum.

Top five influences?

Brian Chan, Jocelyn Price, Jordan Klassen, Nathan J Moes, Josh Daignault, Indiana Avent.

You’ve been touring this summer – where have you been and where are you going?

Well, so far 2012 has brought me all the way across Canada, hitting every major city with a friend’s band, taking me past Winnipeg into the deep east. And in June I did the less treacherous trek to Winnipeg and back hitting all the big ones again (Edmonton, Saskatoon, Winnipeg, Calgary and a nice rest in Regina) with Teen Daze and myself. And up next is hopefully a local show with friends and a show on August 3 in Victoria!

Where did you get the sounds for your latest album This Thirsty Fountain?

A lot of it was ripped off of old records I bought at MCC. Some of it was recorded with a little H1 field recorder. Etta James vocal samples on a track; Aphex Twin on another. I think there’s a Lady Gaga sample on there somewhere too.

Have you done any collaborative work? With who?

I have, but none of it is finished, or looks like it will be finished anytime soon. But if you count remixes, I did one for Oh No Yoko!, Teen Daze, Bank Heist, The Patience, and HRDWTR. My mom and sister have actually sung on a few tracks too.

Anyone you would like to collaborate with in the future?

Yeah, I want to start a punk band called Goof Rat with Liam Hamilton of Oh No Yoko!/Real Boys.

Future plans for your music?

Start charging for my music sometime soon! I’m working on some new stuff, more moody and ambient. Not as fun, but I think it’s pretty cool, still kinda interesting, just less house beats. Maybe Honda will use a Parish track for their next Civic campaign.

Any upcoming local shows?

Your basement, this summer?

Please?

The Parish of Little Clifton’s music can be downloaded for free at www. theparishoflittleclifton.bandcamp.com.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 18, 2012

www.ufvcascade.ca

17

Mini Album Reviews

SoundBites

ARTS & LIFE

Fiona Apple

Kenny Chesney Welcome to the Fishbowl

Fiona Apple’s songs, dense with streaming lyrics and full with emotion, refuse to fade into the background.

Occupying the still night and restless empty rooms, they translate the link between the mind and the heart in all its impossible intricate contortions (if at all comprehensible), only through intimacy. The Idler Wheel could be read as a diary, readings of the self and its tendency towards narcissism herein. And it could also be said to be despairing, with anti-pop, loveis-in-the-past and gone-ness coming across like black medicine. But Apple’s (incredible) voicing to personal poetry sends out, not in, the passionate criticisms and enigmas of “Daredevil” and “Left Alone” amid rumbling, pitterpat percussion, an act of spent creation that evokes and searches through, not escapes into, the personal. The comedown of missed opportunities and necessary removes does add up, but within the constant pull toward aloneness is the full power of “Hot Knife,” where Apple is echoed, confused with, and joined by other voices in a song that begins with “if ” and never concludes – unresolved longing in all its painful ecstasy.

Welcome to the Fishbowl may not be a profound departure from any of his other previous works, but Kenny Chesney has successfully maintained his easy-listening country reputation.

With a predominantly slow array of songs, Chesney sings of love, loss and real life. Not exactly the classic “She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy” Chesney we all know and love, but a bit more of a relatable album to the common country listener (unless you do pick up chicks with a tractor, then I commend you). A particular track that sticks out is the most upbeat song on the album, a duet with Tim McGraw called “Feel Like a Rockstar” – it’s the kind of song you want blasting out of your speakers as you drive your pickup into town. Chesney has the heart of country music in his songs but allows it to appear in a very non-redneck way.

Although “Come Over” sounds very pop, Chesney skates along the now paper-thin barrier between country and pop flawlessly with smooth guitar riffs and the unmistakeable drawl in his voice, weaving together the perfect combination of the two genres while still staying true to his roots.

The Idler Wheel Is Wiser Than the Driver of the Screw and Whipping Cords Will Serve You More Than Ropes Will Ever Do

MICHAEL SCOULAR

KATIE TEGTMEIER

Album Reviews TIM UBELS

CONTRIBUTOR King Tuff’s self-titled sophomore record, now out on Sub Pop, includes a tongue-in-cheek press release from producer Bobby Harlow. He states, “King Tuff should not be inspected or even listened to with critical ears. Cut your ears off.

Rock & Roll is meant to be blasted into your cells, penetrated, and absorbed. It’s a visceral experience. Seek solace in solitude when you’re dead. If you aren’t able to recognize the genius in this epic album, then you’re already dead.

Kill yourself. Or get a job. Your choice.”

This offbeat press release leaves a bit of a sour taste in the mouths of the self-appointed few whose job it is to endorse and encourage others to listen to the band’s music through blog, magazine and newspaper reviews like this one. While I can empathize with the anti-critic attitude, biting the hand that feeds is a bizarre move to make, especially for an emerging act, but then again, King Tuff is a bizarre side project.

Heading into this record, I expected the music to have strong lyrics and fresh guitar riffs, espe-

cially considering the choice words contained in the press release, and I wasn’t disappointed. King Tuff has a seamless quality to it, as the songs all lead into, set up and reference each other with a definite anachronistic feel. Whether this is due to intentional lo-fi production or financial restrictions, the songs have a certain primitiveness indicative of a bygone period of rock and roll.

Vermont-bred Kyle Thomas, the driving force behind the threepiece stoner garage-rock group, finds himself in unfamiliar territory on this record. The prolific Thomas, who uses projects like Gnomesong and Witch as outlets for his folk and metal urges, combines the power pop overtones of Free Energy and the greasy production of Husker Du with his own healthy dose of loud guitars.

King Tuff contains some standout tracks, like its opener “Anthem,” which not only packs a punch but drools fuzz guitar. There’s also a great garage rock banger in “Bad Things,” one of the best singles of 2012 that contains his familiar growling guitars, but with a Scooby Doo chase scene undertone. Thomas spends most of the track musing over his bad boy im-

JEFF the Brotherhood Sara Watkins

Hypnotic Nights

Sun Midnight Sun

JEFF the Brotherhood is, like its name would suggest, a pair of drum and guitar-wielding brothers, James and Jamin Orall. Hailing from Nashville, Tennessee, the duo has crafted their own particular concoction of southern-fried, slightly psychedelic garage rock stretching back through six studio albums. Unlike popular music’s pantheon of notoriously tumultuous sibling relationships (see the Davies, Gallaghers or Fogertys), this musical twosome has enjoyed over a decade of steady growth while never straying too far from their roots. Admittedly, the premise of another southern rock band drawing on heavy-riffing ’70s staples like Black Sabbath had me skeptical, but the Brotherhood’s latest, produced by Dan Auerbach, is a surprisingly enjoyable record. The duo slather on a thick layer of scuzzy distortion which, combined with their proclivity for pop hooks, at times brings to mind Weezer’s self-titled debut. There are obvious distinctions, lyrically, as JEFF the Brotherhood tend to focus on barbeques, beer and the great outdoors (the album’s opening lyrics are “I want a place where I can smoke meat”), rather than Rivers Cuomo’s usual neurotic concerns. Despite these fairly banal lyrics, Hypnotic Nights wins hearts if not minds with its unassumingly hedonistic, windows rolled down joie de vivre.

Sara Watkins knows how to use a fiddle – that much was a given when she was with her previous band Nickel Creek. But when the band that had been together for 18 years split in 2007, few knew this would eventually see Watkins turn out one of the best solo folk albums in a long, long time, Sun Midnight Sun. And sitting here at the end of a long summer day as the sun sets really is the perfect setting for this album. It opens up with a straight acoustic piece entitled “The Foothills.”

This is followed by what I consider one of the standout tracks and my personal favourite, “You and Me” – a very sweet and romantic account of a small town relationship. Of course, “When It Pleases You” is just superb as well, given she pours her soul into this song.

Sun Midnight Sun comes to an end in a very relaxed fashion with “Take Up Your Spade,” giving what would be a sort of closure, if only I wasn’t going to play it all over again. It’s hard to describe what a masterpiece this album is. It is simply folk at its finest.

NICK UBELS

JOE JOHNSON

King Tuff – King Tuff

age, treading his feelings between boredom and selfloathing. “ U n u s u a l World” is a midtempo track that showcases Thomas’ most clever songwriting, “You wanna always erase / The imperfect in your beautiful face / And you think about the time you waste / In this impossible place.” The album’s standout tracks are those that stretch beyond Thomas’s male posturing, come-ons and the subtext of everyday life.

Rock and roll is meant to be fun, and there shouldn’t be much room left on a record for miserable or serious tones or lyrical themes, and Thomas reminds us of this fact. This is where the value of Harlow’s press release starts to

take shape. King Tuff is not a record to be studied, critiqued or reflected upon the way a professor grades a final essay; it’s a record to be enjoyed at the listener’s leisure with-

out any need for overanalyzing.

Critical deconstruction after all, isn’t much fun. All hail the King, as long as he remembers his loyal subjects have feelings too.

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WEDNESDAY, JULY 18, 2012

ARTS & LIFE

Film Reviews MICHAEL SCOULAR

THE CASCADE

Objects of affection and desire encircle the worlds of Magic Mike and The Amazing Spider-man, movies that are related in the idea of selling an image—a body, a performance—while tied to, yet briefly separate from, a domestic and social reality, but diverging in how they navigate this terrain.

Steven Soderbergh especially, though not exclusively of late in his career, has committed hardspun genre deviations to the screen, infusing the expected with plausibility—digital infusions of realness—often blurring the line between actorly charisma and natural presence. The group of (theoretically) hands-off, eyes-on physical entertainers of Magic Mike (Channing Tatum, et al.) embodies the comradely bonds of the sports drama, but with the ever-present reminder of earnings to persistently account for.

Day and artificial light is an unbeautiful thing to wake up to, conduct business under, and walk in, wrestling with the futility and unconsidered meanings of language.

The only time the cover of yellow relents is when night falls and the dancers and eager audience come out; the liberating stage takes hold of the camera. It’s the play between the two that underpins every scene in Magic Mike, unbalancing a scene of dialogue or sexual appetites.

If there’s any guiding principle to the success of the superhero genre, it is the pursuit of believability, even in an inherently unbelievable concept. Every ability, villain and tendency must be explained – grounded in reality and argued for with charts and graphs.

So it follows that in The Amazing Spider-man Peter Parker (Andrew Garfield) gets an added backstory that (sort of) explains everything about his newfound abilities.

Savages JEREMY HANNAFORD

CONTRIBUTOR

Blake Lively’s character O states at the beginning of Savages that just because she is addressing the audience does not mean that she is alive at the end. While this tries to give a feeling of dread and concern for the characters, it rather feels like half-witted attempt to keep the audience interested. That is Savages in a nut shell: attempting to keep the audience entertained rather than actually entertaining them.

Oliver Stone is one director that is past his prime but just doesn’t seem to know it yet. His ongoing ambition to film and create stories is laudable, but his overall quality of storytelling and direction has truly begun to sink as can be seen in this “savaged” film.

Speaking of sinking, this happens to be British Columbia’s own Taylor Kitsch’s third attempt at making a film that won’t turn into another box office bomb like John Carter and Battleship. Kitsch plays Chon, the muscle of the two pot dealers, and he plays the part with less bravado and anger then one would expect. He adds more preci-

But more emphatically, as a prelude to the full-blown boy/girl, hero/monster fantasy, every available culled-from-reality moment is injected into Parker’s summary adolescence. There’s the loveradius stammers, the way a son helps his father with house chores, the structure of a shouting match, the method of treating bruises. All converge to make this unreality a lived-in one, though one slightly undone by the dissolution of obligations, voicemails from the President and, most critically, The Great Power.

At one of The Amazing Spiderman’s lowest points, a teacher addresses a class (which might as well not exist; we’re only focused on Peter), theorizing that there is, in fact, only one basic fiction story: “Who am I?” The pointed reference to Peter’s supposed struggle is not only not the best summation of the commercial cinema emblemized in Spider-man’s adventures (that would be Willem

Magic Mike/The Amazing Spider-man Defoe’s Green Goblin: “we’ll fight again and again and again and again until we’re both dead”), but sidesteps acknowledging the type of narrative variation going on in something like Magic Mike.

There is no question Channing Tatum’s character and his questioning of where he wants to end up in life is a big piece of the momentum of the movie, yet the very act of depicting the Tampa clubs and the people that frequent them, and particularly in the navigation of Mike’s relationship with Brooke—the sister of his protégé, played by Cody Horn—is more of a “Who are other people,” and not in a self-serving way. It is by acknowledging the failure to communicate perfectly from a personal, limited viewpoint that Magic Mike opens up its characters as more than people to ogle at or sleep with, without being harshly critical.

The issue of identification is never brought up except as an opportunity to be snarked down in The Amazing Spider-man, probably because the image of the slightly outsiderish confused-male-as-hero is the sort of projectionready comic fiction that wants to be sealed off from criticism. There’s nothing challenging (for Peter or us) about the thrown together love with Gwen Stacy, who is told to “shut up” and needs to be alternately thrown aside and leaned on, as vivid a portrayal of immature myopia you’ll see – only here glorified.

The sexual lines in Magic Mike aren’t crossing any barriers, taking heteronormative relations to their breaking

point (Matthew McConaughy’s “You are...” speech spells it out) but seemingly no further. But where Spiderman’s readymade “just like you” heroism and adolescent evocation cynically expects nothing more than willing hearts on the part of its audience, Magic Mike’s dance scenes and interrogative dialogues twist between having males as its main characters and being seen through a female gaze.

It is also noticeable how ownership of narrative grows throughout the film. While both the title character and Alex Petyfer’s rising star drive the story forward, they are never far from other people who have as much of an impact and importance in their events and ideas. Communities of the city, workplace and family all mean arguably more than the single people who get the credit, something The Amazing Spider-man never concerns itself with. New York would self-destroy on its own and Peter is definitely a hands-off type of guy when it comes to grieving families.

For some, the action of either movie might be the only reason to be interested, but both maintain the overall attitude of their respective films. Magic Mike’s dances have a seriousness, an underlying motivation of necessity, that yet does not dull their euphoria-inducing release of energy and pants. It’s in the cleaning up that the reminder of a world outside returns.

No worry of that in The Amazing Spider-man, which pulls on the influence of Sam Raimi and video games, and assembles an oddssion and aggressive action to the character, but the story unfolds so predictably that his unique aspects are wasted.

Another wasted element of this film is Aaron Johnson’s character Ben. His character is ludicrous in terms of humanitarian standards.

When he is not growing the best weed in North America, he’s travelling the world bringing aid to Third World countries and helping poor children learn how to read and write. He is the weaker of the two, the one who wishes to resolve rather than attack. His preposterous ideals and motives make him entertaining to watch, but not in a way that would be deemed commendable.

Nothing pales in comparison, however, to that of Blake Lively’s performance. O is so unbelievably plain that it truly makes the audience wonder why these two men are so dead set on saving her. Her character is as dry and boring as a wooden board and ultimately insulting to women.

For the impression that Savages unfortunately presents is that women are apparently weak and predictable. Salma Hayek’s character is at first interesting when switching back and forth from a ruthless cartel leader to a caring mother of a teenage daughter. But

and-ends collation of incongruous mouthfuls of noise, served up with an unwelcome accompaniment of James Horner blast. The movie trumpets its ego-driven emptiness with pleasure all the way through to its title. The moniker could be said to have something of a similarity to the adjective-attached name for Soderbergh’s movie, but Magic Mike is a stage name, something that works as a bit of advertisement, but doesn’t stand up when entered into interaction with someone else not instantly enamored. The Amazing Spiderman needs just that in order to work. Magic Mike works through, in its own way, the ramifications of a certain kind of “power” and “responsibility,” and, crazily for today, manages a non-exploitive ending too.

as the film comes to its final minutes, she breaks face and becomes weak and irrational.

Instead of presenting a genuine and entertaining story, the audience is blasted with noise. Bright pretty noise that not only dumbs down the script, but also makes the dialogue wasted. There are moments in the film where the music is playing so loud that one can barely make out what anyone is saying.

This attempt to intensify scenes and build tension is negligible when the audience can’t follow where the tension is leading, which is ultimately a bizarre and quite embarrassing finale. Stone presents a double ending to this film, and one is left wondering which is the more moronic decision: the predictable drivel of the first ending, or the fact that Stone calls for a do-over without having taken out the previous ending in the editing room.

Savages is messy and predictable with subpar performances and irrelevantly bright colors. O quotes after the poor excuse of an ending that she has “never felt more alive.” But to the audience, she has never seemed alive to begin with.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 18, 2012

www.ufvcascade.ca

19

ARTS & LIFE

Discussions Below the Belt

Book Review

An ode to erotica: Why women should Flowertown - S.G. Redling JENNIFER COLBOURNE pick up some paper porn THE CASCADE VIOLET HART

THE CASCADE So many problems in this world could be solved if women read more – more erotica, that is.

Normally, I shy a mile away from “men are like this, women are like that” generalizations. Men aren’t from Mars, and women aren’t from Venus. Most perceived “essential” differences between men and women are socially constructed myths – our ideas of gender are subjective and superficial at best, and they certainly shouldn’t define a person.

Biologically, there’s actually a pretty level playing field. Women can like monster trucks and baseball; men can love baking and flowers. Women aren’t all emotional and irrational; men aren’t all tough and macho. Oh sure, we may be taught to follow the stereotypes, and certainly some people conform, but there’s nothing definitive about most prescribed gender roles.

That said, there are a few differences when it comes to sex that seem to be anchored in biology.

For instance, psychological studies have shown that worldwide, men tend to put greater emphasis on physical attraction when it comes to mating preferences. Of course, it’s already common knowledge that men are turned on visually, as the high numbers of men who regularly look at porn can attest.

Interestingly, studies have also shown male monkeys also enjoy checking out female monkeys, and will even pay for primate porn. Visual stimulation for men seems to be hardwired in.

That doesn’t mean that women aren’t visually turned on too, and in fact many women watch and enjoy porn. However, for a lot of women it’s the fantasy aspect of sex that seems to turn them on the most, and many women seem to tend toward visual porn that acts out a scenario—being tied down,

seduced in a field, etc.—rather than just watching two attractive people have sex. Women certainly are stimulated visually, but for many it doesn’t seem to be the most important part of getting it on.

Here, then, is the key as to why women love harlequins and books like Fifty Shades of Grey (not that men don’t love them too!). It’s the internal fantasy paired with steamy, detailed sex scenes that are such a turn on; there are multiple levels of arousal at play. It’s a common joke that men are shocked when they discover just how “dirty” these “romance novels” really are – women basically read porn! Yes, they do. And those who don’t, should.

If I’ve seen it once, I’ve seen it a million times. Boy meets girl.

They feel a strong attraction to each other. Things get exciting – holding hands, kissing, stroking … then finally sex. Sex is new and passionate. Their bodies yearn for each other. They have sex all day long and never seem to tire of the bedroom. However, typically after a period of time the woman seems to lose interest.

The fact is, the novelty and excitement can only last so long.

It becomes more and more difficult for many women to become aroused by the prospect of being

Cascade Arcade JOEL SMART

THE CASCADE It’s called the Ouya. It runs on an open-source Android mobile operating system. Every game it offers will be free-to-try, with most offering full versions at a cost. It’s hackable, without voiding the warranty, and anyone can use it to make their own games. It’s also cheap, to be released next March for just $99 (with a controller included).

This is a home console that almost anyone can afford, and it’s tailormade for creative, genre-busting indie games.

Indie developers have to jump through a lot of hoops to get their games on a home console system currently. Sony, Microsoft and Nintendo have had a stranglehold on the industry since many gamers were first introduced to the medium. They are the big three, and if you want to make a game people play on a TV, you go through them;

you play by their rules. However, the Ouya will change all of that.

Suddenly, anyone can make games that anyone can play. That could really change the face of gaming.

What really gives the Ouya promise is the support it has already received. The Ouya project was announced on Kickstarter, an online funding website where the public donates money to creative projects they want to support.

Their request: $950,000. It reached that goal in an astounding eight hours, hitting over $4 million in 48 hours. With the project still receiving donations until August 9, it’s anyone’s guess how much the final tally will be. It’s the kind of support that gets attention from major developers, and sure enough, many established game makers have already announced plans to work on the Ouya.

The mastermind behind the new console is game industry veteran Julie Uhrman, finally fed up with

with their loved partner; not because they don’t find their partner attractive or desirable, but for some reason they’re just not “in the mood” as often anymore. Yet all it still seems to take for their man is a glimpse of her breasts, and he’s in the mood. What’s wrong with her?

Nothing is wrong. It’s just unreasonable to expect women to instantly be aroused by sight the same way as men. Some women have an easier time than others, but many need a bit more. A stimulating fantasy is a must, and erotica seems to be one of the most effective ways to crank up the heat.

Ladies, if any of you have a nice, comfortable evening to spend at home, I highly suggest that you check out an erotic novel. Whether to have sex with a partner or just masturbate, erotica is an amazing way for women to enjoy their sexuality. Women and men have equally strong sexual needs and a capacity to enjoy sex to the fullest in their own different ways.

As the last Violet Hart article for The Cascade, I specifically chose this topic because my heart goes out to all the women who don’t enjoy sex. The way sex is presented precludes female enjoyment, and ignores some basic differences – anatomy, for one (pounding rarely makes a woman cum, and it’s common for women to need sex toys to cum during sex), and stimulation for another. Yet women are expected to orgasm on command and enjoy whatever they’re given.

The reality is, sex is far more complicated than that.

So women, start exploring the adult bookshelves. Libraries are overflowing the stacks of harlequins, and there is a ton of free or cheap erotica you can download for your e-reader, smart phone, tablet or computer. If you’ve been struggling with arousal, erotic novels may be the Viagra you’ve been looking for.

It may be hopelessly cliché to recommend a book as a “summer read,” but S.G. Redling’s Flowertown is precisely that – in spades.

It’s a relatively short yet captivating page-turner with a unique setting and intriguing plot, light enough that you won’t give yourself a headache trying to read it on the beach. Nor does it pretend to be something it isn’t; it’s an entertaining thriller-mystery, nothing more, and to this end it delivers successfully.

The novel takes place in Flowertown, an area consisting of seven miles of Iowa that has been contaminated from a serious pesticide spill, thanks to the Feno Chemical corporation. The area and its inhabitants—those who have survived the devastating effects of the spill—have been fenced off and contained from the rest of the world. Now, they can only survive by regularly taking body-brutalizing drugs in order to counteract the toxic chemicals that have leached into their systems, making “their skin put off a sickeningly sweet smell, like the smell of too many flowers in too small room.”

Hence the name “Flowertown.”

There is no cure, leaving for any amount of time is nearly impossible, and Flowertown’s inhabitants are at the mercy of the government and Feno Chemical. Many, like the protagonist Ellie, have become apathetic stoners, while others, like Ellie’s best friend Bing, have become suspicious, sensing a dark conspiracy concerning the fate of the contaminated. It isn’t difficult to anticipate the direction the novel takes from here.

Flowertown is a very strong start for a first time novel; the writing is solid, the plot stimulating and the characters relatable. Flowertown is pure pop entertainment, and should be appreciated as such.

The book is very well set-up to be adapted to film, and one can’t help but wonder if that was the au-

thor’s intention from the start. Undoubtedly, with a bit of tweaking it would make an excellent movie, possibly outshining the book itself.

The characters, while likable, certainly aren’t overly complex.

Redling has tried to make them seem deeper by having them defy the basic psychological personalities they’ve been assigned, but it doesn’t quite seem to pan out and the characters remain fairly static. It seems that the layer under smartass stoner is still smartass stoner—albeit a more heroic stoner—and that the layer under her G.I. Joe hero boyfriend is still definitely G.I. Joe. Of course, one character does have a complete 360-degree personality switch, but frankly it seems unbelievably farfetched, and can undoubtedly be said to be the weakest point of the novel. It feels as though Redling is trying to say something about human nature, but is unclear herself what this is exactly, and things ultimately break down to the basic dichotomy of good versus evil. Despite this poor twist, the ending is somewhat satisfying; though setting it up for a sequel in the last few lines wasn’t really a good move either.

Ellie is a decent protagonist, but doesn’t possess enough compelling qualities to merit a sequel. But these are minor points.

If you’re looking for deeper meaning, you won’t get much more than the over-exploited warning of the powerful threat of large corporations to Middle America. Perhaps the novel is meant to function as a rousing cry to those too stoned and apathetic, like the main character, to perceive the danger until it’s almost too late, but ultimately it succeeds more as a summer evening’s entertainment – not that there is anything wrong with that. It’s definitely worth the few bucks to download.

Cheap, open-source, free-to-play console hopes to revolutionize gaming industry

Image: Jailbreaknation.com

the current state of the industry.

She has worked at game design studio Vivendi Universal as well as gaming media IGN and game service GameFly. She’s also working with the award-winning designer of the One Laptop per Child computer, Yves Behar. He’s responsible for many other products, like the successful portable Bluetooth speaker known as the Jambox. He and his design and branding firm Fuseproject are hugely involved in bringing the Ouya to market.

Granted, the console won’t be able to compete with the specs of next-generation consoles. How-

ever, it should be powerful enough for the types of games most indie developers can afford to make. It’s set to run on a Nvidia system on a chip (SOC) called the Tegra 3, designed for high-tech tablets. It will have Bluetooth and Wi-Fi, as well as eight gigs of internal flash memory and one gig of RAM. Uhrman claims in her Kickstarter pitch that the end result should be easy to develop games for.

While most are showing enthusiasm towards the crowd-funded Ouya project, Craig Rothwell is very concerned. Rothwell was the creator of the Pandora Handheld, a mobile gaming device that you’ve likely never heard of. First announced in 2006, the Pandora suffered numerous setbacks along the way as it aimed to compete with Nintendo and PlayStation in the turbulent handheld gaming market. In an interview with Pocket Gamer, Rothwell claimed that it was either price or quality – you

can’t have both.

“You simply cannot make a quality console and controller for $99, no matter how low you go in China...” he said. “When trying to come to market with a rock bottom price, one error, one contractor messing up, and it’s curtains.”

He acknowledged the support the project has right now, but getting the project to market could be tricky. “When all the hype dies down, this machine could well be DOA [dead on arrival], and Ouya could be looking at a giant black hole of losses.”

It’s impossible to know right now how things will go for the Ouya, but if it manages to make it to market at the proposed $99 price point, it promises to fill a market that has been stifled by the big three for far too long. If it happens, it will surely spawn some of the most creative games around.

That’s the kind of shakeup the industry sorely needs.

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ARTS & LIFE

The place to be: Jam in Jubilee BLAKE MCGUIRE

CONTRIBUTOR/PHOTOS Jubilee Park (aka the grassy patch by Five Corners in downtown Abbotsford) was buzzing this past Thursday as Jam in Jubilee kicked off its free annual summer concert series featuring local musicians. Whether it was the country/blues/rock of Topaz, modern folk from Mark Walters, or high energy alternative rock of

Poppy and the Pistols, the audience was given an atmosphere of fun and community. In addition to the music, there was also an open air market, food, and other activities such as tightrope walking and oversized Scrabble and Jenga.

Jam in Jubilee was originally founded in 2004 by the Abbotsford Downtown Business Association (ADBA), and was adopted by the Atangard Community Project Society in 2010, and is operated in

order promote local artists and to grow a sense of community in historic downtown Abbotsford.

Among sponsors are the City of Abbotsford, the ADBA, UFV’s CIVL radio, the UFV Alumni Association, and more.

Jam in Jubilee will take place free of charge every Thursday evening until August 16. The market opens at 6 p.m. and the concerts begin at 7 p.m.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 18, 2012

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ARTS & LIFE

Humans Versus Zombies IV BLAKE MCGUIRE

PHOTOS

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SPORTS & HEALTH

Fisticuffs at dawn ALEXEI SUMMERS THE CASCADE

I’ve written before about my grandfather on my mother’s side, and how he defected from the Soviet Union, and was in the army during the Second World War. What I didn’t write about was that during that time he had a second career – a career within a career in the army: he made quite a bit of cash for himself by prizefighting.

Back in those days, boxing was a mandatory fitness exercise that the allied forces engaged in to keep the soldiers fit. My grandfather was not a very large man. In fact, he was rather short in stature, but what he lacked in height and weight, he made up for in speed and agility. He was a feisty Russian fighter with a quick temper, with steadfast honour and determination. He was what some people call an in-fighter, meaning he would get close to his opponent, and hurl a barrage of

image: Alexei summers

punch combinations at them – offensive, rather than defensive.

I, myself, inherited this style of fighting. I don’t do as much boxing now as I’d like to, but when I was a young boy growing up my friends and I would gather in the backyard on a hot summer day after school, don gloves and try to imitate the fights we watched on television. It was from these matches that I got

my first taste of the sport of boxing.

It wasn’t always fun. Teeth were knocked loose a few times, and we didn’t wear the proper protective gear we should’ve been wearing, but in the end, no one was ever seriously hurt. Ever since those days I’ve always had a soft spot in my heart for this noble sport.

Boxing is an excellent workout.

It is a great way to strengthen core muscles, as well as a way to tone the body. Even boxing with a punching bag instead of a real person is excellent for improving stamina and strength. It’s also very therapeutic and relieves a lot of stress.

Boxing is a sport that has its roots in the early days of the Ancient Olympic Games. Originally, there was no protective gear, nor were gloves worn. In fact, gloves are a fairly modern addition to the sport of prizefighting, popularized after the Marquess of Queensberry rules were published in 1867 making them mandatory. Leading up

Quick fix signings for Flames mean same names for Heat MICHEAL SCOULAR THE CASCADE

With the thin lines of free agency depleted and developmental camps in progress, the near future of the Abbotsford Heat is falling into place. The usual mix of junior and college tryouts and the unpredictable variables of what training camp might reveal means anything is theoretically possible, but the Heat, as a feeder system for the Flames and as an AHL contender, project to look largely the same.

This lack of movement to the Flames will mean relative roster consistency for the Heat. This projection flies in the face of the oftrepeated idea that the true horror of watching the Heat is that this is merely their gestation – their true nightmarish form will be realized with the Calgary Flames. As the management and competitiveness of the team is showing, Abbotsford is where many of these players will remain. It’s also where they will have to achieve, if the franchise is going to have any success this year.

The vacancies in the parent club’s lineup of coaches and forwards as 2011-12 closed were numerous. They included figures like Heat head coach Troy Ward and forwards Paul Byron, Roman Horak and Akim Aliu who looked like potential contenders for those roles next season. These have, on paper, been filled by Flames general manager Jay Feaster from outside the organization. Injuries, changes in performance, and trades can and likely will happen, but Feaster’s decision to retain the diminishing Cory Sarich and Lee Stempniak and buy high on Dennis Wideman and Jiri Hudler has pushed the best of the Heat down the organization’s depth chart.

Many of the Heat experienced a taste of the NHL last year amid the numerous injuries. However, they will not, if this direction holds, have the same experience this year.

What this means immediately for the Heat is that aside from

image: Milwaukee Admirals

can’t-miss prospects like Sven Baertschi or T.J. Brodie, upper movement will not be guaranteed from year to year. The Heat welcomed the addition of potential top-six forward Ben Street as a result of the centre logjam in the Pittsburgh Penguins’ organization, and top performers Hugh Jessiman and Jon Rheault left for Ottawa and Florida respectively.

By comparison to the Flames, the Heat made the playoffs last year, but hold the promise of moving up the ladder to claim vacancies left by departed depth players.

The biggest question mark that remains is concerning goaltending. Leland Irving is the final restricted free agent for the team.

Also up in the air is his status – whether it be with the Flames or the Heat. Called up last year, but presently blocked by the remaining year of Henrik Karlsson’s contract and the return of Joni Ortio

from the KHL, Abbotsford remains the safest bet for where he will appear at the start of next year – like most Heat players.

Perhaps the surest sign of how fans can expect development to be approached by Jay Feaster’s Flames appeared on draft day.

Rather than spring for what was projected as immediate help, high school prospect Mark Jankowski was taken with the team’s first selection. While he may turn out to be a great help, he isn’t there yet.

In Feaster’s own words, he would be a force to be reckoned with in a decade. Factoring in college and learning the ropes in the big leagues, that could come to mean a year or two. If Feaster’s buying ways continue (and that’s if he’s still GM at the time,) it could mean more time with the Heat. In the ever-changing AHL, that can seem like an eternity.

to that move, the only protection was strips of leather or other fabric wrapped around the knuckles.

The sport teaches respect amongst your fellow man. In film, boxers are portrayed as having a fierce hatred of one another. In reality, this is far from the case. In fact, most boxers have an intense respect for one another, and their abilities, and it is this respect that drives them to practice good sportsmanship and fair play in fighting one another.

The goal in boxing is to land a knock-out by striking an opponent with one’s fists, and nothing else, and to render the opponent unable to fight. It is an honourable sport, but a violent one. As I wrote in a previous article, I am a fencer first and foremost. That is the sport I mostly deal in. However, one of the reasons I love boxing so much is because in many ways it reminds me of fencing; in a way, it is like playing a mental chess game. The game is

fast, and you have to quite literally roll with the punches. You must bob and weave, and then counterattack, and then launch an offence of your own. It requires finesse, and grace, as well as a quick thinking mind, which is not easy if you’ve just taken a number of blows to the head and you’re feeling a bit foggy.

It is very much a game of wits, just as much as it is a game of fists.

Speaking as a man who has had his nose broken a few times, I’d like to point out the obvious: it’s a rough sport. It’s not for the timid.

You have to be bold, and ready to get dinged up - because at the end of a match, if you don’t walk out of there feeling like someone drove a truck over you, then you probably weren’t boxing properly. It’s a sport that leaves its share of scars on the fighter. After a really good fight, you probably won’t look so pretty.

Sports the IOC think are more sport-like than rugby KAREN ANEY THE CASCADE

This is a student newspaper.

As such, it’s a really great place to climb on soap boxes at times. This, readers, is one of those times. So here’s my opinion, which is admittedly completely totally and entirely biased.

Here it is. Rugby isn’t an Olympic sport this summer. It will be in 2016 – kind of. That’s when rugby sevens is going to be included for both men and women. Speaking as a forward—they’re the big slow ones, typically—I find this to be stupid. The full game of rugby is intensely athletic and entertaining, and the sevens is really just a quick version of it, full of fantastic runs and fast plays ... oh, wait.

Maybe that’s why – they don’t want us big slow people playing, because it isn’t as entertaining.

Either way, rugby is going to be half included in 2016, for the first time since 1924. That’s when it was removed after some crazy French fans started a riot after a game’s final whistle. Apparently, it took 78 years to get over it. This summer, we’re treated to a bunch of other sports that weren’t removed.

Let’s just say that I don’t think they rank as high in the “sport” category as rugby does. Actually, no. Let’s not just say that. Let’s go through a list, shall we?

Beach Volleyball. Really? I know it’s not as easy to jump in sand as it is on a springy gym floor, but it just seems like an excuse to look at men in speedos and women in bikinis. You don’t even need a poll to know that 96 per cent of the fan base is just hoping for a wardrobe malfunction. Stick to real volleyball people. I want to watch the sport, and I’m old enough to buy Playboy if I need to see scantily clad people who are in good shape.

Archery. I’ll admit that there’s some pretty intense skill to this, but these days it’s not as much about skill as it is about whose bow is best. Like Katniss taught us, knowing how to shoot a bow well enough to hit a bag of apples could very well save our lives one day. These days, if you’re caught

without your bow (which was likely paid for with a Cheerios endorsement) you’re likely screwed.

If this sport wants to stay in the Olympics, I say it should get back to the wood-and-cat gut basics.

While we’re talking about archery, let’s mention the modern pentathlon (how’s that for a nonsequitor?), otherwise known as the sport for rich white dudes.

I mean, really. It’s pistol shooting (who shoots pistols?), fencing (which doesn’t even need further comment), freestyle swimming (alright, maybe that one’s more accessible), show jumping (come on, they wear blazers. Blazers!), and cross-country running (also known as, in the words of Michael Johnson, the sport “descendants of slaves” do best). So that last one’s thrown in as an attempt at equality. It’s been around since the beginning of the modern Olympic Games, and was invented by Pierre de Coubertin (the founder of the Olympics as we know them). Yeah, that was in 1912. The rich white dude competition has had its day in the sun, and according to a vote by the IOC in 2005, this is its last chance to gain some ratings. If you like watching rich white dudes, you’d best start a Facebook revolution or something.

Speaking of rich white dudes, let’s talk about Sailing. I’m not going to lie, I completely forgot this was an Olympic sport. Isn’t watching which boat gets blown fastest by the wind just a really small step up from watching the grass grow?

Table Tennis. Also known as ping-pong. Also known as the game that drunk people play at all-inclusive resorts. Contrary to logic, there is no four-shot minimum required to partake in this sport. I mean, it’s played on a table.

You know what else happens on tables? Meals. Homework. Maybe dancing, if you’re at a party. And apparently, Olympic sports. Uh, no.

I’ll leave it there, though frankly, I could go on. I’ve likely offended a good chunk of you by slamming your all-time favourite events, but just think about it this way: I’m a rugby player, and I can tackle harder than you can complain. So there.

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SPORTS & HEALTH

Sunscreen: how high, how much and how often TAYLOR JOHNSON the Cascade

After what seemed like an eternity of rain I took off to the Arizona Desert for some much needed sunshine. One-hundredand-nine-degrees Fahrenheit of pure sunshine to be exact. That’s hotter than most people’s hot tubs!

In my luggage was an arsenal of sun-ray fighting sunscreens: SPF 15, SPF 30 and SPF 60. Protection from damaging ultraviolet-B (UVB), cancer causing ultraviolet-A (UV-A) and ultraviolet-Radiation (UV-R) rays produced by the sun.

Most sunscreens are made up of Alcohol Denat, Acrylates/Octylacrylamide, Oxybenzone, Copolymer and scented lotions. However not all sunscreens contain the important, zinc oxide and titanium dioxide which are vital in blocking out both UV-A and UV-B rays. These ingredients soak into skin, forming a barrier between skin cells and harmful sun rays.

Over time these ingredients break down due to perspiration, fresh or salt water and direct sunlight.

This is where the Sun Protection Factor (SPF) comes into account: the higher the SPF, the stronger the barrier against the elements.

Ever noticed how SPF fifteen feels more like a watery hand lotion compared to the thick paste-like SPF sixty?

Using a stronger SPF does not necessarily mean that you bikini clad sun-lovers can lie out in the

sun all day without fear of burns.

It simply refers to the amount of rays that can be absorbed. The Skin Cancer Foundation estimates that anything lower than an SPF 15 will prevent burns, or a tan, but cannot block out dangerous UV-A UV-B or UV-R rays. Their website states that an SPF of 15 or higher can be considered typical for everyday use, where there is minimal direct sun exposure. An SPF of 30 blocks out 97 per cent of hazardous rays, while giving you that summer time glow, and SPF 50 blocks out an estimated 98 per cent.

To get the most out of your sunscreen—whatever the SPF—the SCF recommends that you evenly apply about two tablespoons for your entire body a half hour before being exposed to sunlight.

This allows enough time for sunscreen to be absorbed into skin.

While two tablespoons seems like

quite a bit of sunscreen, sensitive areas like the face, hands and feet have thinner skin and require more sunscreen to form a thicker barrier. After the initial application, sunscreen should be reapplied every two hours you are in direct sunlight, or immediately after water exposure or heavy sweating.

For those who worry sunscreen will block out any possibility of a bronzed tan, consider the alternatives: fried chicken skin which creases and wrinkles no matter what your age is, painful skin blisters, or increased risk of skin cancers.

There are many alternatives to a sun-based tan: the SCF, Health Canada, and a variety of other cancer prevention sites recommend DHA (dihydroxyacetone): this is a skin cell darkening agent that, over time, dis-adheres to skin with no proven long-term effects. In short, it will give you a suntanned glow hopefully without damaging skin cells. DHA is available in a wide variety of self-tanners found anywhere from high-end boutiques to local drug stores, starting at $20 (NeoStrata’s Natural Insta-Tan, Shopper’s Drug Mart.

This summer, while you’re lying out on the deck wearing your favourite polka-dot bikini or sweating it out on the volleyball court, take that extra couple seconds to lather up! By winter that bronzed tan will fade but the damage left behind can last a lifetime.

Minor Leagues are major fun

Whitecaps: good clean (cheap) fun JESS WIND

CONTRIBUTOR

So for many of you, summer is probably relatively uneventful in the sports world. You pour over NHL.com watching for new trades and signings, but other than that, you just count down the days until the puck drops again. However, for the rest of us, we are enjoying a summer packed full of the world’s most popular sport. Soccer fans can immerse themselves in the loud and proud world of professional soccer right here in Vancouver, and for a fraction of the cost of a Canucks ticket – prices go as low as $20, and that’s for a legitimately purchased tickets. The Vancouver Whitecaps Football Club (FC) are well into their second season as members of Major League Soccer, competing against top performing teams in the western conference including Real Salt Lake, Seattle Sounders and L.A. Galaxy (home to British football celebrity, David Beckham).

The ‘Caps inaugural season in the top tier of North American soccer left them at the bottom of their conference, but in 2012, with half their season left, they are within reach of the number one spot.

Vancouver’s presence on the professional stage dates back to the 1970s. They began as the Vancouver Whitecaps, then reformed as the 86ers in 1986 until 2001, and finally brought back the original moniker that is slowly making its presence known on Sportsnet. Throughout the growth of the club, a loyal fan base has established itself in the

city. One such group, the Vancouver Southsiders, was founded in 1999 and represents the “culture” of southwest pacific football. If you are lucky enough to have snatched up one of the frequent Groupons to a match, you probably noticed the group of committed fans behind the Western goalposts. Possibly, you even wondered what exactly they were singing? This support group has a plethora of Whitecaps and Vancouver related chants and songs, which they sing throughout the match - some at perfectly timed moments, others just to be loud.

When goalkeeper Joe Canon winds up for a kick, a hiss falls over the stadium reminiscent of a burning wick, then as he explodes the ball down the pitch, the stadium erupts in a thunderous BOOM—a firing canon. In The Simpsons episode “Homer the Great” Homer becomes a member of the Stonecuters, a secret society, and they engage in a raucous anthem. This tune, with lyrics relevant to the football fans and the city they reside in, can be heard drifting through the stands. The support doesn’t stop at BC place (or prior to that, Empire Stadium and Swangard Stadium); the Southsiders assemble for away games all over the country, most recently making the trek to Chicago on July 14.

To be a Southsider, you pay a modest membership fee of $30. This gets you plenty of benefits – aside from a scarf, priority tickets at away games, and other team-related benefits, membership means a discount at Doolin’s Irish Pub, Roxy Burger,

Soccer Xpress, and many more places. You simply need to commit to supporting the Whitecaps and heckling the opposition. Contrary to stereotypes this does not involve beating up opposing supporters in the parking lot – the Southsiders website offers a city guide and assistance to those fans just as committed to their own teams as the Southsiders are to the ‘Caps.

Not ready for that level of commitment? There is still plenty of football culture to experience as one of the “regular people” in the stadium. Arrive at BC place early enough to mingle about outside and collect swag from the Bell Mobility tent, observe the Southsiders as they march and chant their way to their seats, or to simply take in the beautiful Vancouver view. Once inside the newly reconstructed BC place stadium (I don’t know about you, but I was happy to see the big white balloon deflate), you are hit with a wall of legacy in fandom.

Almost everyone is sporting some sort of ‘Caps gear—from the iconic scarves to one of their three jerseys in current rotation, from the kids kicking around mini soccer balls to the lifers in their 1975 original shirts. Whitecaps FC is a unique sporting experience. For tickets as cheap as $20, you can immerse yourself in a club that is embedded into the fabric of Vancouver sport culture. Grab some nachos, find your seats, make friends with your neighbours and watch the boys warm up on the pitch. See you in the stands.

images: Katie Tegtmeier

KATIE TEGTMEIER CONTRIBUTOR

Nat Bailey Stadium in Vancouver, home to the Vancouver Canadians, is not just a baseball stadium. It is a place where baseball becomes more than just a game, it becomes an experience.

I attended a game versus the Everett Aqua Sox. With 98.7 per cent of the seats filled, fans were eager to watch the major league farm teams battle it out (the Canadians are affiliated with the Toronto Blue Jays, the Aqua Sox with the Seattle Mariners). It may not have been a sell out like the previous day’s game against the Aqua Sox, where the Canadians stole the win at 4-3, but it was quite the game: it ended with a score of 10-6 for Everett.

You don’t have to be the biggest baseball enthusiast out there to have a good time at these games, especially the way the Canadians put them on. From the energetic staff doing the chicken dance during the seventh inning stretch, to the stadium designating Sunday games as “Family Fun Sundays,” no matter your age or knowledge of baseball you are sure to find something enjoyable at a game.

Something that made the more child-friendly half of the population in the stadium go crazy was when the players took their positions at the start of the game, accompanied by their “baseball buddies” – little kids in baseball uniforms, eagerly running out

alongside their heroes.

Part of “Family Fun Sundays” is that the A&W mascot “Root Bear” is present and getting the crowd excited alongside the Canadians mascot “Bob Brown Bear.” He threw one of the first pitches of the game, and quite successfully too considering he was in a massive bear costume.

This team is mascot crazy with a trio of sushi mascots, who are literally wearing costumes depicting cartoon sushi. The crowd cheers for Ms. BC Roll and Mr. Kappa Maki, while booing Chef Wasabi for his constant cheating in the races. Leave it to a Vancouver team to create these crowd favourites.

The stadium was in impressive shape, and even featured some inflatable slides and bouncy castles for the kids to the left of the stands by third base. This is perhaps owing to the recent affiliation with the Blue Jays. According to one Nat Bailey Stadium employee, their previous affiliates—the Oakland A’s—never put much money and effort into the field, team, or stadium. Being the only current Canadian MLB team, the Blue Jays value their fellow Canadians and want to show the team that they don’t need to be based in the States to be taken seriously.

The game I attended was not necessarily the most exciting to watch, with the Canadians getting five walks in the eighth inning.

However, the energy of the crowd compensated for the lack of action on the field. That being said, it was almost 29 degrees without a cloud in the sky at midday, the players were probably sweltering out on the field – their lethargy was understandable. There was excitement when Everett’s Patrick Kivlehan scored two home runs in the first inning and Jean Acevedo scored one in the third. All in all, the game was sporadic, but still offered a lot of entertainment value.

So if you are in the mood for some sun, watching a good game of baseball, or guessing the pronunciations of the players’ names with your friends (the Canadians short stop: Jason Leblebijian. Take a stab at that one), then this is the place for you.

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