The Cascade September 14th, 2011 Volume 19 Issue 19

"Subversive and Irreverent" since 1993

www.ufvcascade.ca

WEDNESDAY,SEPTEMBER14th, 2011

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WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 14th, 2011

Addressing the Dissenters.~.

Every year we get complaints. Some are insightful, articulate criticisms of The Cascade'spolicy and content, and some remind me of stray PAUL ESAU Youtube coi:nments, hurled indiscriminately our way by peopJe I hope I · THE WATCHFULPROTECTOR never meet m person. Par for the course I guess, when runnmg a publication that is considered controversial by some, and not controversial enough by others, yet evel}' year myself and my predecessors have felt the need to explain what The Cascadeis, in the hope that a minority of you will stop complaining about what it isn't: First of all, The Cascadeis not a family new~aper, in the same way that The Dark Knight was not a family. movie. ·!'here are things within its _pages that I _would rather my younger siblings n<?tread ~ntil t~ey're olcfer, yet that is not an a_!g-ymentagamst those thmgs bemg P.rtnted.

Our a,udience here at UFV happen to be (coincidentally) university students, who I would guess are attending the institutions to be exposed to new ideas and perspectives as part of their education. Which ideas those students embrace and which they discard are their own business, and cannot be done for them.

Which leads to, secondly, what The Cascadeis. The publication before you is the product of a couple hundred hours of work spread between twenty or so of your fellow students, and, more importantly, is a forum for international, local, and campus issues. Our purpose and our duty is to represent and comment on issues that we be1ieve are relevant to the students of UFV, in an attempt to create dialogue on said topics. We also, of course, review content to ensure that it is not so controversial as to violate the rights of individuals or minorities, but this doesn't mean we avoid topics or "pull punches" in an attempt to . . become more palatable. .

Image: seekersofthebat.com

Pat.IfEsau niek@~ca

NiokUbels BusinessManager ali@ufvcascade.ca Ali Siemens

Prodt.lctlonManager production@ufvcascade.ca stewart@ufvcascade.ca Stewart Seymour Art Olfector

production@Ufvcascade.ca anthoney@ufvcascade.ca AnthonyBiondi Copy

Editor

joel®ufvcascade.ca Joel Smart

Therefore, we are not going to "censor" content that certain factions find offensive, unless they can prove to us either A, that the content· has little value beyond bemg controversial., or B, it violates their rights as citizens. If neither of these criteria can t>emet, then "they" hold JUSt another opinion in a sea of dissenting voices.

For those of you that do find certain aspects of this publication to be offensive, know that I am not unsympathetic to your concerns. I just ask that instead of trying to silence the opinions being expressed m The Cascade, you exercise your right to be an alternative to those opinions. It woulc;lbe very easy:to show the UFV campus that students here hold other perspectives than just those expressed in the student !lew~papsr, pr<?foundly simple to invite debate <'>nissues dismissed as obvious withm these pages.

Trust me, I'm just waiting for you to write the article.

SportsEdit()r sean@ufvcascade.ca SeanEvans Staff Writers Karen Aney Jennifer Colbourne Sasha Moedt contributors OessaBayrock Balraj Dhillon Joe Johnson AQdrewKooie Jocelyn McKay

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The Cascadereserves lberlgb.tto editsullrnissi.00$ for clarityand length.TheCascade willnot prlntanyanicles that containracist,sexist,homophobicor libellouscontent.The writer'sname andstudenttllffllber must1Jestibmitiedwilheach sutirnimon.,Lettersto lhe editormust be wider

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www.ufvcascade.ca

WEDNESDAY,SEPTEMBER14th, 2011

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BACK-TO-SCHOOL

We com ack BB - Brought to you by Student Lifel ,

tu ent I e s annua eome Back BBQ - held on eptember 6th at the Abbotsord campus - was well-attendd as usual; over the course of he afternoon, hundreds of stuents wandered through the rray of tents on the green to mingle with their classmates, iscover some of UFV's many lubs and associations, and, of ourse, snack on a free burgr. This year's event featured n assortment of free swag, a

roe c Im mg wa • an a ne bout of hand-to-hand combat between Sas'quets (UFV's mascot) and one fearless student. The Chilliwack campus's BBQ was held last week as well (September 8th), but never fear, spirited students: if you didn't catch either event last week, you can head out to the Mission campus on Sep tember 15th for their very own Welcome Back BBQ, which will run from 11am to 1pm

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WEDNESDAY,SEPTEMBER14th,20ll

The aftermathof Casey's:After Math ALI SIEMENS THE CASCADE What used to be known as Casey's Restaurant and Lounge has officially changed names and changed managers. The new manager Brad Ross has revamped the campus restaurant - now known as After Math Social House - and is looking to make some changes. As posted on the Student Union Society website, the new lounge declares: "We offer good food, good fun, [and] good atmosphere whether you are eating, drinking, chilling or studying."

Communications Administrator Jhim Burwell says the change from Casey's to After Math is "about enhancing the student lifestyle." Walking through the new restaurant, it is easy to detect the new decor and obvious menu recreation. The walls have a new coat of paint, there is a Canucks decal on the wall, and a UFV Cascades logo adorns the space above the two chairs that will seat video and radio commentatQrs for CIVL during home games. The restaurant is open and inviting, something that is important to the people involved in the creation of After Math.

It appears as though Burwell and Ross are on the same page regarding the new campus hangout. In an interview with Ross, he described his hopes for "a place where people can come hang out, do their homework if they have to, get a beverage, and get some good cheap food."

In order to ensure all follows through as planned, After Math will require a manager with experience. Ross has been working in the Food and Beverage industry since he was 16; he has managed casinos,·

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nightclubs, pubs and bars all over the world, including Vancouver, Calgary, Los Angeles and Osaka. In the four weeks Ross has had to prepare After Math he took care of the major issues first, which included cleanliness and reestablishing both the liquor and food licenses.

Although these were the important issues behind the scenes, students were curious about whether or not pub nights would be reintroduced: Ross explained that because Casey's liquor license was revoked before, they will have to be a little bit more careful. "We will have a few pub nights, but they will be sponsored by clubs and associations on campus - we won't be jeopardizing our liquor license by doing it on our own. " Ross also shared his vision of opening up another pub in the future. "I'm in the process of applying for the new building, in G, which could be a fully licensed pub. The only way we can get that liquor primary license is to piggyback off of

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our existing food primary license, so if we do something wrong with this license, it jeopardizes the chance of opening up a new pub."

Ross has a· clear business plan for the year, which is to essentially bring a fun atmosphere to the students. Burwell noted that - with the first week of the new semester now behind us - he already sees After Math as, "a more energetic, a more energized, [and] a more enthusiastic place to be."

At the end of the month, Ross will bring in a new beer that is designed for a student pub atmosphere. And with the introduction of new menu items such as the "Ridonkuliss Burger" - which replaces the hamburger bun with grilled cheese sandwiches - the new student lounge just may fit the bill for what it aspires to be: a place to hang out.

THE CASCADE

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WEDNESDAY,SEPTEMBER 14th, 2011

www.ufvcascade.ca

HST struck down: now what?

KARENANEY THECASCADE

CHIT

Now that the resuit of the referendum has been made official, a reported 54.7 per cent of the British Columbians who cast a ballot are celebrating the loss of the Harmonized Sales Tax (HST). Thoqgh the change back to PST and GST could take up to 18 months, democracy has spoken, and the Liberals have pledged to respect the decision of BC voters.

There were reported advantages and disadvantages to both sides. Under the HST, small-business owners were beginning to see promising benefits. One such owner in Abbotsford, who wished to remain anonymous, claimed that he/she has already seen profits since the HST was introduced. When asked if those profits would be reflected in reduced costs to his/her consumer, the respondent stated: "No. With people being so broke lately, I couldn't raise prices at all. The market was too competitive. The profits. I'm seeing are acting as kind of a back-end raise for me."

Studies conducted on the HST's effect on other countries have shown a marked decline in consumer costs, but no such effects have occurred yet in British Columbia.

The referendum itself was not without controversy. Claims that this was a ppll of "the ignorant and the non-ignorant", as tweeted by one

HST supporter, were echoed far and wide. Accusations that the method of voting was far from effective - as the mail-in ballots were sent in conjunction with a rotating strike at Canada Post - seemed to be reflected in mass expressions of frustration from citizens unable to vote.

One caveat of the strike-down of this tax is· that the province of BC is now required to pay back the Sl.6 billion loan it received from the federal government with the ·purpose of instigating the HST. Despite the argument that many British Columbians never asked for this loan, Federal Finance Minister Jim Flaherty stated

Image: canadian university press

Image: topnewt

Liberals promise tuitionfeerelieffor Ontario university students Ontario Liberal partyleaderDalton McGuinty ha~ announced hispartywouldprovide grantstothe majority ofOntario university students ifhisparty winstheupcoming provincial election.

Aspartoftheirnewplatform, whichaimsto easethefinances ofOntario families, theLiberals pledgetogivegrantsof$1,600 to university students infamilies withanincome oflessthan $160,000.

Thegrantswouldberoughly 30per centoftheaverage costofOntario university tuition.Meanwhile, college students wouldalso beableto receive grantsof$730annually.

Those families making lessthan$160,000 would bequalified toreceive payment effective Jan. 1,2012.Currently, 86percentofallOntario university students areconsidered eligible to receive the·grants. grant · "Thewaythatit isapplied asa separate opensuptheaccess forstudents whodon'twant totakeongdvemment debt,orwhomightnot saidOntario Undergraduate applyforOSAP," Student Alliance President SeanMadden.

"That's animportant aspectbftheprogram."

Butwhilethetuitionfeerelief, which wouldcost theprovince $486million ayear,couldbehelpful formanystudents, thereisconcern thatnot fromthecampaign .. everystudentwouldbenefit promise.

LeeRichardson - CUP Ontario Bureau Chie(

Quake offVancouver, nodamage reported

that ·th~re will be no _leniency: "I've \ discussed the issue more than once with t\ie minister of finance of British Columbia [Kevin Falcon] and I'fn satisfied B.C. will honour the terms of the agreement that we have with th~ province."

Including this sum, Falcon has estimated that the cost of returning to the PST/GST system will come to a tot.al of S2.2 billion in the next year alone, with an estimated jump to S2.8 billion by the time the changes have been permanently ·implemented. To put that in perspective, examine it alongside another political issue in BC at the moment: the impending

teacher's strike. One of their de.mands is for smaller class sizes; Education Minister George Abbott has stated: "... to reduce every class in BC by one student it_would cost us S150 million". Translation: S2.2 billion could buy some pretty small class si~es.

Less people voted in the HST referendum than in the most recent provincial election in 2009. According to Statistics Canada, out of an estimated 3,238,737 eligible voters, 1,610,125 voted for the HST referendum. 1,640,542 voted for the provincial election. The question, then, is regarding what happened to the extra 30,000 voters, as the passionate demonstrations seem to suggest a lack · of apathy.

Reducing the scope of examination tp one electoral district can prove illuminating. In Surrey-Whalley, a district known for low response rates and low income, 15,887 people out of 32,918 people voted for the recent referendum, giving them a response percentage of approximately 48 per cent. In the 2011 Census, conducted this past summer, response rates in that same area were at approximately 32 per cent percent before census employees were deployed to obtain more forms. Like the 30,000 voter gap, this 16 per cent response drop could possibly be attributed to disdain for the census - but the higher response rate could also reflect the importance British Columbians placed on the ref-

Image: libcom.org

Image:nev.mania.com

erendum.

UFV student Maria Gabor-Martinez was one of the frustrated voters who couldn't voice her opinion. didn't because I never got my (package], so I couldn't send it in," she said.

The other .members of her household all received their voting packages and were able to vote. Another student, Will Olthuis, offered an alternate explanation for the lack of citizens who voted: "I was planning on it, but I didn't end up doing it. I filled oµt the card, I just couldn't decide which way to vote. I looked at both sides, I read the articles. With the short term and the long term effects, I wasn't really sure. Who really is?"

One burning question: who's going ·to be paying back the S2.2 billion? In a public statement from May 25th, Finance Minister Kevin Falcon declared that, if upheld, these funds would be recovered by a temporary increase to corporate taxes from 10 per cent to 12 per cent. Will a similar method be employed to help recover some of the deficit? Olthuis didn't think so. "I know whp it will come from," he declared. "The taxpayers."

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Image: bbnet.com

News Twitterhacked withfake Canada reports August joblosses Japan cityonborder ofnuclear no-go NBC attackmessages zonefightsforsurvival

Canada's economy surprised markets byreporting Amagnitude 6.4quakestruckoffVancouver netjoblosses inAugust, overshadowing othersigns Island onFriday, some175milesnorthwest of wasmaking a comeback aftera bleak Vancouver onCanada's Pacific coast,butnodam- theeconomy second quarter, andkeeping central bankratehikes agewasreported inthecity,eyewitnesses said.

IntheU.S.cityofSeattle justsouthoftheborder, offthetable.

Theunel!Jployment rateroseinthemonthto7.3 police reported slightrattling butnosignsof percent from7.2percent, Statistics Canada said damage. onFriday.

Canada saysthePacific Coast isthecountry's totaled5,500, farworse thanthe mostearthquake proneregion, withsome1,000 Netjoblosses median market forecast ofa gainof25,~ and tremors a year.Therehavebeenabout100 matching onlythemostbearish estimate ina 5 orhigheroffthecoastof quakes ofmagnitude 23analysts.

Reuters survey.of Vancouver Island. jobmarket hasappeared healthier than Thequake,initially reported asa magnitude 6.8, Canada's Statessi.oce therecession, butthe wasveryshallow at 14.3milesundertheseabed, intheUnited ' latestnumbers aremoreinlinewithsobering U.S. saidtheU.S.Geological Survey.

ThePacific employment reports thatprompted U.S. President Tsunami Warning Center saidthe_quake didnot Barack Obama topropose a $447billion jobs warning, triggera tsunami onThursday tojump-start thesagging Aneyewitnesses inonedowntown Vancouver package economy. building saiditswayed.

Otherpeopleinthearea "Disappointing," saidSalGuatieri, senior econoinist saidtheyfeltnothing.

Capital Markets.

Vancouver IslandhugsthecoastofBritish Colum- at BMO "Weareseeing thelagged effectoftheeconomy biaandisalmost300mileslongandsomeSO slightly inthesecond-quarter onlabor ofitisthinly contracting mileswideat itswidestpoint.Much markets now," hesaid. populated, withroclty beaches, thickfore~and TheCanadian dollar dropped toCS0.9551 against diffsfallingintothePacific Ocean. or$1.0049, compared to($0.9927, dollar, ofGoldRiver theU.S. Thequake~ruckdoseiothetOWf! or$1.007 4,heading intotherelease. ontheisland. . some ofthedetails fromCanada were However, "There werethreeofthem(tremors).

Twowere grim,with25,700 full-time jobscreated ·back-to backandthenfiveminutes latertherewas ,: less a lossof31,200 part-time positions.

Hiring a thirdsmaller one," saidlaurin~a Ri~h, manager versus wasstronginthepublic sector andinservices_ of.t~eGoldRiver Golfaub. . industries: ·· "Itshookthe wholebuilding hereat thegolf Theeconomy has~ed 223,000 netjobs ilj course.

Everything wasshaking inthekitchen; thepastyear, ora13 percent inoease.

AsofApril shetoldReuters. thisyear, ithadrecovered allthefull-time jobslost during therecession.

Reuters Reuters

Alinedividing theno-gozonearound the e NBC News Twitter feedwashacked onFriday Fukushima nuclear plantandtheareadeemed safe ya group thatclaimed a hijacked plane,inafresh fromradiation cutsrightacross thiscoastal citybut ttack,hadcrashed intothesitewhereNewYork's intowers weredestroyed inSeptember 11attacks the"good" partisstarting tolookverymuchlike theghosttownontheotherside.

10yearsago.

Sixmonths aftera magnitude 9.0earthquake e hoaxbya groupcalled TheScript Kiddies came · ·usttwodaysbefore theUnited Statesmarks the unleashed a deadly tsunami thattriggered onNewYork's meltdowns andradiation leaksattheTokyo Electric10thanniversary ofthe2001attacks Power's complex, Minami Soma, a cityjusta half orldTrade Center andthePentagon inWashington.

ToeNBC News twitteraccount washacked latethis anhour's driveaway, struggles tostayalive. residents aregone, ftemoon andasa result, falsereports ofaplane Nownearly halfofits70,000 induding doctors, nurses, teachers andofficials ttackonground zeroweresentto@NBCNews needed torunthecity's basicservices, andcorollowers," NBC saidina statement.· rosive mistrust ofofficialdom andsheerchallenges 'Weareworking withTwitter tocorrect thesituation ofeveryday lifethreaten todriveevenmoreaway. ndsincerely apologize forthescarethatcouldhave Right afterthemeltdown ofFukushima reactors ncaused bysucha reckless andirresponsible act," theauthorities imposed theno-gozone,slicing off henetwork added. partofthecity.Later, theyadvised theelderly and eTwitter account waslatersuspended, but shotsofthefaketweets, three children fromthe20-30kms(12-18 miles) range ccording toscreen toleave. sagesweresentinquick succession. tomoveawayandtheresttobeready Thousands stillliveina limbo, gripped byfearsof Breaking News!

Ground Zerohasjustbeenattacked, radiation contamination anduncertainty about light5736hascrashed intothesite,suspected· theirfuture. ijacking. moreasthestorydevelops," readthefirst.

"Ifwe,asdoctors, don'texplain thingsproperly to e Script Kiddies daimedresponsibility ina later ourpatients,.we canbesued.Butthegovernment, eet. whichhasdetermined thelivesofatleast200,000 byitspostquake decisions, hasfailed toexplain its stepstoussofar," saidOikawa.

Reuters

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WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 14th, 2011

SUSpocalypsesets standardfor lazy GordonCampbellhonouredwiththe Order of days at UFV B.C. DESSA BAYROCK

ANDREW KOOLE

CONTRIBUTOR

Dis-Orientation is one .of the traditional UFY back-to-school series of events. Its basic purpose is to serve as a chance for students to let loose, generally in the form of a concert for instance, in the past, SUS has brought in relatively big names like Finger Eleven, The Trews, and Bif Naked.

This year, both format and name of Dis-O chang~d slightly, but the goal of the event remained the same; under the name SUSpocalypse, it still gave students a chance to kick back and relax after the first week back on campus, and started planting the seeds of school spirit.

Much like in the Dis-Os past, the concepts of free music, free food, and general UFV pride provided the foundation for SUSpocalypse.

SUS organized vats ot chili and a killer sound system in order to keep the event out on the campus green, which let things stay laid-back and close to home. Students came and went according to how much time they had to spare, sometimes only meandering by on the way to their next class or listening with half an ear while they studied for tests.

The benefit of having a more laid-back approach was that students didn't have to commit to sitting down and staying for the whole thing if they didn't want to - and let's face it, at this point schedules everywhere are starting to look a little full, so something that takes up precisely as much or as little time as a student can spare should come

CONTRIBUTOR

as a relief at this point. Luckily, the weather cooperated and temperatures hit almost thirty degrees, making spots in the shade highly sought after but also helping the overall relaxed, summer feel.

Things kicked off a little after four with a performance by UFV's own Giddha Club. A half dozen colourfully dressed dancers in saris drew a crowd of students right away with their bright smiles and fast-paced moves. They set a high bar for all following acts with their infectious energy and obvious love of the dance.

They were followed by live music from local band Harma White, and Calgary hip-hop artist Transit with DJ Crosswalk. Still in keeping with the laid-back theme; people chatted, mingled, and enjoyed the sounds pouring over t~e green. Harma White h~d a gravelly, rock-y feel to their sound, while Transit and DJ Crosswalk dropped some beats and rhymes. In between songs, Transit commiserated with the crowd about

student loans and trying to follow one's heart into a profession that one loves - something we all can relate to.

In conclusion, SUSpocalypse had a more laid-back feel to it than previous Dis-Os, but it worked - the beautiful weather, hot chili, hard work of the SUS and volunteers from the rowing team brought together- an event that inspired an air of relaxation and contentment. There was enjoyment and socialization, and despite the implied violence of the new title, SUSpocalypse succeeded in encouraging an inherent feeling of school spirit and student pride.

"I've made two new friends!" said Jacob Hilbourn, a first-year student who studied a chemistry text while lounging in the shade as Transit performed. "It is a pretty cool event," agreed Reace Buchner, another first year, "but you know what would have made this infin.itely better? A slip-nslide."

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SUPPORT

September began amidst controversy in British Columbia as The Order of B.C. announced they,were awarding former Premier Gordon Campbell the province's highest honour.

Campbell - along with 13 other Canadians - will become a member of the Order of B.C. on October 4, according to the award's website. He is to join nearly 300 previous nominees, including musician Bryan Adams, painter Robert Bateman and hockey player Trevor Linden. The website also reported that recipients are to attend a ceremony in Victoria's Government House, where they will be presented with medals and certificates by the Lieutenant Governor of British Columbia; after receiving the award, tnembers will be permitted to add the title "O.B.C" to their names.

The announcement attracted much critique from citizens, who took to social media to voice their distaste. A petition was written questioning the legitimacy of Campbell's nomination, stating that he still held a seat in parliament when nominations closed.

UFV students met gave mixed responses to news of the Premier's appointment. Dana wasn't sure the Premier deserved the award, saying that nothing stood out that he should be awarded for. He mentioned the Premier's arrest after being caught driving drunk in Hawaii in 2003. "Should you be able to get away with things just because you're a politician?" he asked.

Jason took different point of view.

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YOUR CAMPUS WHY?

Your Campus Bookstore ...

• Offers your correct course materials, eliminating any confusion. If you change or drop your class in the first 3 weeks of class, you can expect a hassle free return on your course materials.

• is Convenient- students don't have to wait to receive their course materials.

• Employs and trains student workers.

• Supports your institution financially.

Revenues contribute to buildings, instructors, and services.

• Supportsstudent activities on campus.

We sponsor Athletics, Student Life, Student Union,and variousstudent fundraisingventures.

• Helps reduce the carbon footprint.

We bring in a class set of books in a few boxes and one delivery truck. On-line sales to the same class will use unnecessary packaging and many truck deliveries.

"I'm disgruntled with the opinion that we should vote [on the award]," he said. "That opens the door to dispute everyone who has won it."

Despite the controversy, The Order of B.C. is holding to its decision.

According to CBC, B.C. Chief Justice Lance Finch has closed the argument that Campbell is not eligible, noting that the law forbids elected officials to be appointed into the Order, but says nothing about them being nominated.

However, some - including NOP leader Adrian Dix - are still voicing their concerns about Campbell's appointment coming so soon after he has stepped down as Premier with a 9% approval rating, and following his involvement in the ongoing issues surrounding the HST.

BOOKSTORE!

WEDNESDAY,SEPTEMBER 14th,2011

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7

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Change-of-Coverage Dates All enrolments and opt outs must be completed between Aug. 29 - Sept. 20, 2011.

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WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBET 14, 2011

Stanley Cup riot report in review JOEJOHNSON CONTRIBUTOR

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There were two contributing factors that led to a full blown riot in Vancouver on June 15th, followingthe Canucks' game seven loss to Boston. The rioters themselves,and the failed suppressionof the unrest. But in the three months following, very little action has been taken on either issue. After Premier Christy Clark made her announcement outsidea damaged London Drugs in downtown Vancouver,and the social media blitz that set out to identify the rioters,we are now given three reviews of the events that occurred. The government commissionecl Furlong-Keefe review, the VPD review,and the City of Vancouver review. These should be of interest to at least a few of the UFV students who were downtown during the game.

My focus here is the dissectionof the first of the three reports to be released, conducted by John Furlong and Douglas Keefe, entitled "The Night the City Became a Stadium''.Everybodyis familiar with Furlong, the man behind the Vanco1;1ver 2010 Olympics, but Keefe is a little lesswell-knownhere on the West Coast. Keefe is a former Nova Scotia deputy attorney general with plenty of experience on government reviews and inquiries.With his skillson government and securityintegration, Keefeand Furlong have been able to sort through the eventswhich occurred that day.

Essentially,what this 396 page report had found was that there were more people on the streets than the VPD could handle. Many people were also either drunk before they made it downtown, or were openlydrinking once they were there. It's pointed out that a typical venue acts as a mechanism for managing capacity.But the streets were open and the number of people showing up had expanded to roughly200,000, many from out-of-town. Staggeringly,it is estimated by Translink that "At the peakit delivered about 500 people into downtown every 90 seconds by train alone."

It appearsthat the city haddropped the ball on estimating the nurriberof people who would be coming into the Fanzone on GeorgiaStreet.

The report also stipulates that the crowd had swelled before the police could begin ·their "crowdmanagement strategy."The police hadlost the power 0

.

Image: huffingtonpost.com I am in no way deferringblame from ment strategy. One such suggestion is to control the crowdbeforethe game had even started. It was a slowincreasein po- the peoplewho actuallystarted and par- managing the crowd size by monitoring lice presencewhich presentedpart of the ticipated in the riot, but the problems transit volumesand using aerialimagery. problem, "The opportunity to set a tone that had arisen must be identified so There should also be contingencyplans passedbefore there were enough officers that this will never occur again. Furlong set up to allow for an earlier presence if ·to set it and congestionpreventedits later and Keefe have taken the same stance required, and contingencyplans for mulimposition."The number of police offi- in their report, re~rving blame only for tiple incidents and locations.Clear comcers present had increased from 446 at the rioters. For this, some in the media munication and briefings with external the beginning, to a total of928 by night's have called it soft. However, by reading agencies should be improved. Integraend. To be fair, the report does go on to the findings, it is evident where things tion should be furthered between police, say that there is no number of police of- fellapart. fire, and the Public Safety Unit tactical An open city is not the place for a . units to better tackle burning cars as well ficers that could have prevented the riots. But I'm left questioning how these garrie seven Stanley Cup final game. as aid people.

When it comes to regionalplanning, findings could suggest that if the same This is especiallytrue when the city has number of policehad been present-much a history. But this doesn't mean such the Minister of P\ll>licSafetyand Soliciearlier in the day, it would not have had events should never be held again in the tor General, through corroborationwith an effect on suppression. future. Instead, steps must be taken to police, fire, and other services, should It's evident from this report that ensure that crowd sizes don't escalate be the overseeingbody. If the event is both the city and the VPD exacerbated to suchan uncontrollablelevel Alcohol ~med regional, services from all rethe situation. There was poor commu- consumption should be watched more gions should be involved in creating a nication and preparation. The strategy closely,and those who are clearlyintoxi- cohesive plan. Fmally, they also make worked for games 1 through6, but it had catedshould be taken care of appropri- the recommendation that a review be madeon the requirement in which the to have.been eviElentthat things could, ately.After all, this was a familyevent. as chair on the police Some recommendations that stand mayor must and would, be far different for the final interesting as out include part of the VPD's manage~ board.This point is very game. Mistakes were made byall.

they are calling into question the conflict ofinterest that may be present.

With regards to alcohol, some of these recommendations include the consideration of legislation that would prohibit it on transit systems. Another involving legislation wol).idbe stronger penalties for drinking at public events.

As well,they make the recommendation for stronger public educationprograms.

The repercussions for the riot are wide reaching. There is more at stake than the losses of merchandise and the cost of repairs to businesses.The world witnessed this event. It may easily result in the loss of tourism dollars, or possibly a further downgrade as one of the best cities in the world! I considerthese growing pains, and as Vancouvercontinues to mature as a world classcity, hopefully we will see the end of this kind of behaviour. ·

serve

•'

Burger basics friction, innuendo, and scandal caU it the Ridonkuliss burger, because J,D.8,BROWN much in the past. Many remedies have been a 'ridiculous burger' is not quite prepos-

THE CASCADE

Every year, some group of students receives a mandate stretching into the hundreds and then becomes responsible for disbursing.funds worth thousands of-dollars. Whatever pretensions of governance or advocacy the student union possesses, the bottom line is the bottom line. And although many causes and clubs are funded by the student union through our student fees, there is thankfully a flagship money sink which all students from the anime club to the xylophone enthusiasts' association can rally around.

I'm referring, of course, to our illustrious on-campus pub. This venerable institution has been the source of

attempted in all the time I ~yself have been here, some of which I was even involvedin. But in half a decade, never has anyone truly sought to so categorically reform the place as we are seeing now. The first step was renaming Casey's On Campus to AfterMath Social Club while keeping tqe original Casey's signage. A bold move, but university is just the place for riddles and obscure purposes.

But the most sinister action has been wrapped up in slick advertising, meant to distract and confuse.An entirely new menu has been created for the only social club that meets after mathematics.

This menu is filled to the brim with all sorts of sustenance, but the one dish taking centre stage is a burger. They

nor mediocre. A burger which inspired students everywhere to embrace a meterous enough. This burger is .hyped nagerie of flavours that transported without any shame or regret as being as the tongue to islands of ecstasy more debaucherous and more elegant than satisfying as ambrosia itsel£ I do not doubt that this burger comes Ibiza during Spring break. . · I ought to know. I designed it. with loads of mediocre meat and sloppy The JDR burger was bestselling and sauces, such that eating one on a date will guarantee you'll need to wash your for a damn good reason. It was,...and reshirt before you wash your sh~ts. Such mains - eminently tasty. Starting with amateurish burger design is something . an all organic cow, raised on love and that I've come to expect from Sodexoor apples, the JDR burger harnesses pure any of the other soulless multinationals affection in the meat and marries it with which line our streets and process our sheer possibility.Monterey Jack cheese bee£ But from an institution which is is licked by flame and melted onto a subsidized by students for thousands of perfectly symmetrical patty, where it is dollru:,s,my expectations are somewhat joined by pleasingly irregular peanuts, more sophisticated. And why shouldn't shucked and seasoned. A single tomato pious and hardworking they be? Only a few short months ago, slice, grown 1:iy the pub formerlyknown as Cas~y'spro- Amish, is placed atop the warm patty vided a burger that was neither sloppy where it is joined by potently fresh let-

tuce. The bun is baked in an all stone oven With a secret yeast, making the crust slightly crispy and the crumb warm,and succulent.A habanero-based hot sauce is spread evenly and thinly on one side while a secret BBQsauce, imported froin the ranches of West Texas, is painted on the other ha!£ · ·But before the bread or even the tomato meets the beef, two thick slices of Citrus latifolia ~re 'cut and squeezed over the cheese and peanut coated patty.

The JDR burger is a one way ticket to flavour country. Your student union doesn't want you to have tasty burgers. It's time to speak up and organize!

Demand the JDR burger today. You deserve it.

WEDNESDAY,SEPTEMBET 14, 2011

www.ufvcascade.ca

9

Waste wars: Proposed Fraser Valley incinerator a shame, but necessary compromise KAREN ANEY THE CASCADE Waste ipcinerator - it sounds like a · cool superhero name, but it's really not.

The local papers and politicians have been focused on this issue for the past few weeks, though. As of July 25th, the provincial government has approved a plan that may or may not result in a waste incinerator being built somewhere in the Fraser Valley.

First, note the language. Nothing is for sure yet. This is one possible solution to waste reduction, and one possible location to put it in. There's plenty of time for a collective deep breath and some cool-headed thinking. It seems, though, that all we're hearing is one-sided whining from pandering politicians.

Liberal MLA Donna Barnett has spoken out publically against the plan, because burning trash will mean the loss of approximately 120 jobs in Cache Creek. Why? Because it will make the landfill stationed there obsolete. Show of hands, everybody - 120 more people who are too proud to work at McDonalds, or a big heaping pile of garbage in one of the most beautiful parts of our province?

No, a waste incinerator is not ideal.

Our vivid slice of earth here is already inundated with smog from the 'big city'.

Now, it's going to be added to with a ~J~J; : t.l. ' -~ new, fancy-schmancy place to burn their garbage, too?

But it does have its perks. Burning garbage means less space needed for landfill. Burning garbage also means more energy. It's killing two birds with one stone - since energy isn't fiscally reasonably attainable at a low-emission rate, why not obtain it while performing another needed task?

The emissions are the heart of the brewing political storm. Fraser Valley Regional District chairwoman Patricia Ross is· staunchly opposed to this plan, saying that she instead favours a change that would place tighter regulations on the packaging we use that isn't recyclable. That's all fine and good, honey - but what do we do with the billions of pounds of trash that has already accumulated? Oh, and "the billions more that will accumulate wliilst the legislature wraps their jowls around this new, costly initiative? · The point I'm arriving at here - admittedly in a roundabout way - is that a waste incinerator is sort of inevitable.

Realistically speaking, our region is not going to stop creating waste. As our population booms, in fact, the waste levels are only going to get higher. Why not grab at a silver lining that means more energy? Maybe with all the landfill space we're _saving,we can plan~ a new fo,rest.Or, y'know, a new sub\iivision.

Why is Waldo? that we, the people, rise and demand to see a valid arCONTRIBUTOR rest warrant that lists all the While to many, Waldo from the crimes this man, and perhaps popular Where's Waldo illustration monster, has committed!

Let this stand as an ofpuzzle is nothing more than a innocent character in a fun children's game, ficial request to the Internaperhaps one should take a closer look tional Criminal Police Orgaat the goal of the game. Originally cre- nization (Interpol) that, we, ated in 1987 by British illustrator Marthe people, request evidence tin Handford, Waldo has been eluding of Waldo's (AKA Wally's) players for almost 30 years. Many times various transgressions, and he has been found, but he has never been crimes, against the state, and humanity, if there are any apprehended.

But really, why the hell are we look- to be found. Justice must be ing for him anyways? This lone man has served. This writer would evaded capture by international police furthermore like to know forces for over 25 years, and has miracu- what will happen if Waldo lously not aged at all. What kind of pact (AKA Wally) is caught, and has he made with the devil, one won- apprehended. Is he to be exeders. Or perhaps this man is no man at · cuted? Is he to be given a fair all, but a demon donning human guise. trial, with habeus corpus and Perhaps he is unable to die, or age. It whatnot?

There are many mysteries has been rumoured by some that Waldo might be The Wandering Jew himself, surrounding the enigmatic Waldo. There are innumeraa man condemned to wander the Earth for taunting Christ at the crucifixion, ble questions to be answered. doomed to wander the vast, expansive Some are not so legalistic. For land under the hot sun until the second instance, doesn't Waldo ever get hot in that woollen red coming ofJesus Christ.

And we, as the player of the game, and white striped turtleneck are not even aware of his crimes? How is while he's in Egypt, scaling that possible? Is it possible that Waldo is the pyramids, or while he's in actually a high profile serial killer, or se- Libya waiting for the revolurial rapist? What unspeakable things has tion against Gaddafi so he can hide amongst the crowd of civilians he done to warrant a 30 year manhunt, with eyes pouring over his everyday and not worry about being found? And why does Waldo seem to bring his famwhereabouts globally?

Enough is enough, says I. It is high ily, and a bunch oflookalikes with him time we heard of this man's crime, everywhere he travels? Are they in. on in their entirety. For too long has the the crimes too? There are many quespublic been enlisted to aid in this fight tions. Qyestions that may just go forever against Waldo, for seemingly no reason unresolved. But perhaps the greatest at all, and with no information. It is time question of all is why we - that is, the

ALEXEI C. SUMMERS

Image: findwaldo.com player of the game- are after all these years, still fascinated with finding this man in red and white. Perhaps Waldo represents some lost quality to us that we see in ourselves as human beings?

Something we are desperately trying to recapture, something that seemingly evades us just when we come so close to really capturing it. In that sense, this

little, frustrating, illustrative game of Cat and Mouse that we've all come to know and love is much more ·than just some strange, bizarre, portrait of busy markets, and chaotic cities. For ifWaldo were to be caught, there would be nothing more for us to do. There would be a great still, _agreat quiet period on the frontier. A separate peace which can .

never be, because, in a sense, it can be argued that Where's Waldo is a microcosmic metaphor for man's inability to truly grasp that which is forever lost on him - that small measure of peace which · we all seek, and so few ever find -a sanctuary, an escape, a place for one to hide.

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WEDNESDAY, SEPfEMBET 14, 2011

Brightest and best victims of institutional incest CLAIRE MOLINA

isn't meant as some sort of mockery of former UFV students-turned-staff. I can understand loving this institution so I'm sure many of you have heard that much that you don't want to leave. But Harvard graduates are realizingthat the one has to wonder how many people best way to find work after graduation begin their academic career hoping for is to start their own business.Some for- a minor position here at UFY. The anmer Harvardites, like facebook'sMark swer,quite obviously,is not many.

Zuckerburg, have become poster-boys So why is it that our best graduates for this theory (eventhough Zuckerburg are still here? One reply is that-UFV is didn't bother to finish his degree). In ·a great place to work, and is lucky to be light of this, it's interesting to note what able to pull from their pool of successful some of UFV's brightest graduates are graduates, graduates that UFV has aldoing after they finish at our illustrious ready trained, graduates that are familinstitution. iar with this institution, yaddahyaddah yaddah. UFV is proud of their graduates Oh wait, they're stillhere.

Yes, valedictorians, students repre- and is willing to back that up by hiring sented in UFV's Leadership magazine them. (not, of course, for key positions Standout (hopefully it's just a coinci- like President of our much-lovedinstitudence that it shares the name of a failed tion though).

SUS slate from just a few years ago), However, the FSA's on-going strugand generally successful students have gle with the University,and the con~inall graduated and taken up administra- ual budget problems that plague UFV tive staff positions here at UFv. Those suggest that this is not an ideal place to former poster children for UFV's mar- be employed.Add to that the Universiketing team are now members of the ty's hiringfreeze,whichguarantees that Faculty and Staff Association (FSA). I the current employeesare overworked, guesswe could callthis movingup in the and you have a somewhat less-than. world.· your-dream-job work environment. .Now I'd like to point <>titthat this Perhaps a job at UFV is the bestany

CONTRIBUTOR

of us can hope for. That, or a job at a great place like Envision Financial. It certainly beats some of the bigger local employerslike EV Logistics or Stream.

At least you get benefits here.

A quick peek at the posting on the Career Centre's website reveals that postings targeting UFV's graduates are slim. Most positions are work-study positions, with the odd "Teach English Overseas!"ad. For a school with such a strong businessfocus, and with so many high marks from the Globe and Mail, this is shocking.You'd think Fraser Valley businesseswould be lining up to hire our graduates. .

Maybe the reality is that the degrees offeredby UFV are almostworthless. So many courses·are easy to slouch through that we are not producing exceptional graduatesby the boatload.What else are we supposedto think when the best that the brightest amongst us can hope for is a fulltime position here at UFY, except that our degreesare valuelessin the real

Bargainingfor_Books

world?

JOCEYLN McKAY usually5-7businessdays if selectingthe CONTRIBUTOR standaro shipping option. Thisbecomes duein problematicwhen readingsare With the return of the schoolyear comes eachstudents' list of required texts. The task of buyingtextbooks, once swiuner-tirne concern quickly suppressedwith sunshine and slurpecs, quicklybecomesa fill financial reality check. The&ct is that buyingtextbooks for coursesis the reality of going to

a

On the topic of the sex column .

.

SASHAMOEQT However, as students, we must avoid CONTRIBUTOR words suchas censorship.As youngmen and women making the transition into · It is certainly to be expectedthat the the adult society, we shouldn't rely on editors of The Cascade receive com- our parent's version of decency.We are ments and complaints about articlesin a generation that will define ourselves. ·past editions. As a student-run newspa- We deservethe right to run a paper the per,we in part shouldreflectour student way we choose, to push the lines of sobody, and therefore ifa student is dis- ciety, to create a new standaro for our . satisfied (or otherwise) it is necessaryto generation - and we deseiveto be able havethese viewsrecognized.Of course, to read columns like Violet Hart's, even critiquewill be most common in areasof if they are indecent, unusual, or too outgreater controversy; Violet Hart's run- spoken for some. As a student body we ning column 'Discussions Below the .should be determining ourselves,what Belt' would naturallyreceivemore of a we are going to be as a new generation reactionthan others. uniquefrom othersbefore us.

As youngadults, universitystudents · We, should alsounderstand that as are aware of sex, enough so that it is a consumer-figures at our university,we part of our daily lives. V10let Hart's need to controlthe direction UFVtakes. column is candid, engaging,and ofren Do we want our schoolto remain as conhumourous. There are students in the servativeas the community it dwells in? schoolwho'll admit to only readingMs. Our actionsand desiresaffectthepotenHart's. column when picking up The tial decisionsand conduct of our school.

Cascade. Her column relates to many Do we want censorship or restraint at· within the student body, as elements of our own school?

Our newspaper should not be consex - be it issues with safety,technique, ·and so on - is a common topic among us, forming. Students should bring unconafter all. On the other hand, readershave ventional (and perhaps inappropriate) alsoexpressedthe opinion that they find opinions forward to people who have the articles published bordering upon dropped previousjudgments and staninappropriate, substance of which does dards as to what is, in fact, appropriate. not belong in a school newspaper.Sug- As students, we should be acceptedinto gestions of censoring certain pieceshave an open atmosphere that appreciates been made, due to the embarrassingna- such courage and forward thinking.

University is a time for testing the wature of the column to some.

'

ters, after all.

university. ) ~

The problem is finding the right

booksto buyat the least cost to you.

Beinga student at UFV is far from inexpensive.Tuition rangesanywhere

the secondweekof classes,and means students must order textbooksas early as possible.There are faster shipping options suchas Express shipping (3-5 businessdays), or Priority shipping(2-3 businessdays), but at additional cost.

Another thing to look out for when buying onlineis the seller.Amazon itself sellsmost books, but in some cases individualsellers cheaperbooks.

Theseindividualsellersdo not offi:rthe same quality guarantee or insurances as Amazon itself and are instead rated bypast buyersusinga five-star system.

Despite the potential delaysin shipping, there's nothing more satisfying than signing the deliverype(1l0n'sform and ripping open yourorder of cheap

riffi:r

However, it is essentialwe make our own reactions and opinions known. If it remains offensive,if we disagree,we from $200-$600 a course,not includ..: should speakout. As our student society ing additionalfees suchas Ancillary develops and integrates into the com- fees,building fees,U-Pass Student munity, we may find we are not going Union Fees,etc. Those students who in that direction. Speak out to change it, do not pay to liveon campusmust to modify, check, encourage or impel. commute, and for many this means the textbooks.

Complaints and disagreements are not cost ofa car and insurance,parking,and Especiallyduring the first rew weeks only acceptable, but welcomed and re- occasionallythose quick-to-catch-you of the semester, the hallwaybulletin · sponded to - part of the conversation. IMPARK tickets. Of the students with. boards are coveredwith home-made ads · bystudents sellingtheir used textbooks.

But as university students we need to . part-time jobs, many must reducetheir be the ones pushing forward with open work hours to allow time for lectures, Buying texts from other students is a · noble ideaas it givesyoua discount as minds to the pulseof society,be that the labsand study.It is helpful then for down and dirty, brunt factsof a young students to find waysto cut backon the wellas helpsanother student to afford adult's life, or perhaps something else cost of requiredtextbooks. books for their new courses.

Some stuThesolutionto unnecessarilycostly • dents even enjoythe hunt throughflyers entirely.

We seem to be stuck in this together textbooks:TheHunt. Thereare three and ads for the specifictextbooksthey need.On the contrary,buyingfrom -as a generation. As such, accommodat- · main arenas in whichto partake in the ing, tolerating and communicating is textbook hunt: the campusbookstore,· other students means contacting them entirely necessary.If that means using other students' ads, and online stores and arranginga meet that feelsmuch personal discretion by not readinga col- such as Amazon. Each semester brings like a drugdeal;one invariablyarrives umn, then so be it. Ifit means directing a new wave ofbargain-dedicated first and must stand at the appointed placelooking for their buyer in the 'blue critique towards the editors, that is en- students beginningtheir quest for the hoodie',who then arriveswith a wad of tirely welcome.We have yet to establish ever-elusiveand nearly mythical'cheap' ourselves and our principles, and that · textbook. These book hunters sniff with cash ~und byan elasticband to trade process will call for argument and rea- frustration through the bookstore aisles for the goods'. soning with one another. jotting down prices,roam UFV's halls Ifin the end Amazon doesn't ship reading postersfrom other students without costlyfees and to your ad~ other students only have last semester's sellingused textbooks, and then surf the web to compareprices. now outdated edition, one can always Students who use Amazon.ca to turn to the trusted, over-pricedcampus buy textbooks can generallyfind them bookstore.The pros ofbuying at the cheaper than at the campus bookstore. bookstore are the assurancethat they carry your text or will order it for you, For example,one can buy the Broadview edition of Chaucer's"The Canthat the current edition is alwayssold, terbury Tales" for $35 at the campus the promise that the price listed is standardized for all students because bookstore,or can order it on Amazon. ca for $22.95. Searchingonline for texts haggling is not tolerated,and finally, can also be beneficialbecauseAmazon that it reallyis the most easyto accessas will suggestbooks in the same genre or it is located lessthan ten minutes walk from anywhereon the campus. by the same author as the texts you've added to your virtual 'cart'. These sugMy adviceto students looking for gested books can·be useful as supplebargain books is this: take your list of mentary texts, but in buying them required texts and compare the prices students spend more money,therefore from all three suppliers,and do so as defeatingtheir purpose of bargaining to earlyas possibleto avoidshipping, hansavemoney. dling, or student-sellerdelays.Happy One must also take into account the hunting! shipping and handling time of ordering books through Amazon, which is

WEDNESDAY,SEPTEMBER 14th, 2011

www.ufvcascade.ca

11

DickMove

Everyth,ing You Need To KnowAbout Circumcision

JOEL SMART TiIE' CASCADE There are a number of issues that can completely turn two intelligent, well-intentioned individuals against each other, and routine infant circumcision is one of them. So it is with great trepidation that I broach this topic, well aware of the emotions at stake. However, it has long been the case that universities have provided a haven for social activism and forward thinking. The circumcision of healthy children is the cause of a growing grassroots movement that seeks to clarify and eradicate the myths and misconceptions which propel the practice onward, while raising awareness of the importance of

recognizing a child's human right to bodily integrity.

In addition to the grassroots movement to end forced circumcision, which is especially strong in British Columbia, there has been an increasing amount of attention paid to the subject bythe mainstream media. Russell Crowe was accused.of being an anti-Semite over the summer for tweeting that he found the circumcision of infants "barbaric" despite the fact that he was tweeting the comments to his close Jewish friend, film director Eli Roth. Admittedly, it's a pretty stark contrast from the last time a Hollywood actor made the news for talking about circumcision. In 2010, Sandra Bullock told People magazine that witnessing her son's

genital cutting was "the greatest · moment I have ever had in my life." If you say so, Sandra!

Circumcision also made the news over the summer when a community-initiated bill in San Francisco, which would ban elective circumcisions on children under 18, collected m,orethan the 7500 signatures required to land it on the November ballot. In just the last couple of weeks the bill was thrown off the ballot, as a judge decided it fit within criteria of a medical procedure, which cannot be banned on a city-tocity basis. Even more recently, advocacy groups that formed to fight the circumcision ban submitted their own bill which would give the practice of circumcision special protection under the

law. On August 21, a.California our culture because .of a lot .of dif,,.

Senate committee unanimously ferent reasons: people have heard approved the bill. that-it's cleaner and healthier, that I asked San Francisco a child won't be normal or acresident Lloyd Schofield, who cepted ifhe isn't circumcised, and led the original circumcision.ban that it is of critical importance to effort, what students reading this a son's psyche that his penis is an story should make of the situa· exact visual match to his father. tion. His_response emphasized So instead of telling you more the importance of critical research about how celebrities like Mario and the recognition of human Lopez,Joe Rogan and radio host rights. "I would say study the isHoward Stern are speaking out sue, look at the facts and stand up against circumcision, this feature for genital integrity for all people," story will address those concerns he said. "It is a basic human rights and share some of the infor:rpaissue and affects society as a whole tion I've learned as I've researched even if it doesn't affect you perthis issue for academic papers and sonally." spoken with local activists about But this is a complex why they do what they do. issue that can't be explained by the legal system or by Hollywood.

Circumcision is still common in

KEY FACTORS Idea: Circumcision is so common, there must be a good reason/or it. · The true origins of circumcise are seemingly lost in antiquity, although many theories exist. However, in America, non-religious circumcision became popularized only in the mid-1800s during the highly puritanical Victorian era. Although there are many ideas as to why the practice is done today, the original motivation was to prevent children from masturbating (which was called self-abuse at the time, due to the belief that it caused disease, insanity and death).

Dr. John Harvey Kellogg, inventor of Corn Flakes, exemplifies the mindset of the time when he wrote in his book: "A remedy for masturbation which is almost always successful in small boys is circumcision... The operation should be performed by a surgeon without administering anaesthetic, as the pain attending the operation will have a salutary effect . upon the mind, especially if it be connected with the idea of punishment."

Since that time, numerous "studies"looking for new "possible"benefits of circumcision, usually once the last reason had been disproved. Circumcision was said to prevent everything · from bed wetting to clubfoot.

Female genital' cutting was also common at the time, for similar reasons, and was even covered by Blue Cross-Blue Shield medical insurance until 1977. . .

Idea: I've heard it's recommended for health reasons.

No national medical organization in the world recommends circumcision, including the American Academy of Pediatrics and the Canadian Pediatric Society.The College of Physicians and Surgeons of British Columbia is responsible for training, licensing and informing the physicians and surgeons in our province. To that end, they have an extremely clear statement regarding infant circumcision:

"Advise parents that the current_medical consensus is that routine infant male circumcision is not a recommended procedure; it is non-therapeutic and has no medical prophylactic basis; it is a cosmetic surgical procedure; current evidence indicates that previously-thought prophylactic public health benefits do not outweigh the potential risks."

The aforementioned risks are certainly not minor either. There are numerous examples, even within the last year, of children dying from circumcision, even in sterile hospitals in North America with trained practitioners. One study estimates that within the United States, there are approximately 117 annual circumcision-related deaths. There are also numerous possible complications from bleeding and infection, to adhesions and penile necrosis. It is estimated that meatal stenosis, damage to the urethral opening due to its permanent exposure after circumcision, is the most common complication, effecting 9-10 per cent of circumcised boys.

12

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WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER14th, 2011

Idea: It's too hard to cleana penis that isn't circumcised.

Idea: 1heforeskin is a bit of extra, uselessskin - nothing he'll miss.

Idea: 1heforeskin isjust plain unsightly. If it isn't removed he'll never be normal.

Idea: I should circumcisemy . child becausemy religion tells meto.

Idea: He's a man, he can take it. He won't remember.He should look like his dad

The foreskin is attached to the head of the penis at birth, and so the proper way to clean it is to simply leave it alone - w:ash it like a finger.

With everything going on in the first days of being a mother, trying to care for an open wound in a dirty diaper is a far more difficult task, especially with the risk of bleeding so dangerous in small children with almost no blood to spare.

A foreskin can naturally become retractable from just a few years old to puberty, and it is normal either way. Only the child should check this, as forcing the foreskin back can cause problems. Once he can pull back his foreskin, he just needs to pull it back and rinse with water.

Not only is it perhaps the easiest form of hygiene, it's probably the one thing you can count on your son cleaning in the shower. Comparatively, brushing your teeth is like rocket science, requiring fancy tools and creams.

Many people are afraid of smegma, a substance that can develop under the foreskin. Little do they realize, the folds of the female genitals develop the exact same substance, and it is known to have antibacterial properties.

The foreskin is a highlyspecialized structure made up of several parts, including an inner and outer layer of mobile tissue, and according to a 2007 study published in the British Journal of Urology,it contains the five areas of the penis most sensitive to fine-touch: "Circumcision removes the most sensitive parts of the penis and decreases the fine-touch pressure sensitivity of glans penis."

In fact, the foreskin contains nerve endings like those found in the fingertf ps and lips-.One interesting exercise is to lightly rub the back of your hand and then your palm. If you notice that your palm feels more sensitive and tickly, that's a result of nerve endings called Meissner's corpuscles; the foreskin is packed with them.

The foreskin also has protective and sexual functions, largely do to its ability to move back and forth.

Violet Hart will cover the sexual in her column, but protectively, the foreskin mimics the functions of the clitoral hood and the labia minora: it protects the head of the penis (as the hood protects the fi.eadof the clitoris), and the urinary/reproductive tract and meatus (as the labia minoraslo).

Only a single enzyme (21-hydroxlase) in the womb determines if the urogenital folds develop into the foreskin or the labia minora and hood.

.

That a circumcised penis looks better is a pretty subjective opinion, but one that people are free to have. But, let's pick any other normal, sensitive, functional part of the body and see if a parent's aesthetic preferences count as a valid indication for surgical removal.

The vast majority of the world does not practice infant circumcision, and the general consensus seems to be that people prefer what they are raised to see as normal.

Since no province in Canada funds circumcision anymore, the rates have dropped significantly. Many hospitals and individual physicians have since stopped performing the procedure.

Since the majority of boys are not circumcised in Canada any longer, it is a good bet that future generations will not grow up to see the circumcised penis as the "norm" the way it was previously seen.

Regardless, it's worth noting that few children (if any) will ever feel "normal". Some will have different features than their friends or find some reason to feel insecure.

We should teach our children that being different is okay. Removing part of their genitalia to help them fit in sends the opposite message.

Although this is a situation many Jewish and Muslim families face, many Christians also feel obligated. However, the New Testament specifically discourages the practice.

For example, Galatians 5:5-6 reads, "For in Christ Jesus, neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value.

The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love."

A great number of religious and cultural practices have been discouraged as increased importance is given to individual human rights. ·For example, Canadian law protects children from undergoing traditional scarification practices, foot binding or any kind of religious ceremony involving female genital cutting. In a 2009 PediatricAnesthesia article, Tim Dare explained: "...religious tolerance, understood as a right for autonomous adults to practice.the religion of their choice, can also justify a restriction o·n those religious practices which would rob the child of their own chance to become an adult possessing such a right." Religious freedom is the right to choose for yoursel£ There are a growing number of Jewish and Muslim groups pushing for change among their fellow believers. A revised Jewish ceremony without the genital cutting, called a Brit Shalom, is gaining popularity.

Until very recently, anesthesia was never used during circumcision. In many cases, it still isn't. Truthfully, infants cannot be given adequate pain relief during a circumcision anyway, as it is too risky.

An infant also has no concept of time passing or healing, and many go into a form of shock due to the pain. One study found that cortisol (stress) levels spiked in infants being circumcised to a degree found in adults undergoing torture. Another study, done on an infant circumcised in an MRI machine, found that areas of the brain most intensely affected were "associated with reasoning, perception and emotions." Permanent change in the brain was also indicated.

The pain is very real, and very difficult for such a young, vulnerable child to handle. Remembering pain isn't what is so bad, it's those moments of actually experiencing it.

It is so much easier to simply tell a child that their father had an operation done that thankfully they didn't need, thari it is to subject a child to surgery. ~ds don't generally spend a lot of time looking at the genitals of their parents anyway, and they're going to be drastically different in size and other features to boot.

For Skin: Why we love the turtle VIOLET HART THE

Evolution isn't perfect. There are lots of things we don't seem to need: wisdom teeth, appendixes, tonsils. But if there's one area I don't think we should CASCADEfuck around with, it's probably our genitals. In fact, one wonders who thought cutting off pieces of our genitals was a good idea in the first place, especially considering that both male and female circumcision were being practiced long before anesthesia.

We all agree that female circumcision is barbaric and just downright cruel to women. However, thanks to tradition - one which, in the Western world, is actually not more than a century old, with the exception, of course, of the Jewish community- most think that male circumcision is not only normal, but healthier, esthetically pleasing and, well, preferable.

The fact of the matter is that circumcision is far from normal. Does it not occur to anyone that we are slicing off a significant portion of a guy's dick? That's so uncool. And don't think for a second that the foreskin isn't an important part of the penis. In fact, it's the best part. Why? Because it's the part with most of the sensation. That's right, nearly all of the male fine-touch neuroreceptors are removed by circumcision.

Many men feel uncomfortable and scoff when they are told this. Which is understandable, no man wants to feel like his tool is damaged, or second-rate. Well, it isn't necessarily. He can still enjoy sex. He certainly has the same sex drive and abi.lftyto ejaculate and become erect (although circumcised men can't stay erect as long). But is he missing out? The sad truth is yes. Chop off half a woman's clitoris, and she'll miss out too. The moral of this story is not to chop off parts.

Now, removing the foreskin doesn't only affect the man's pleasure. It affects women just as much, if not more. The foreskin plays an important role in maintaining a smoother, more sensual sexual experience for a man's partner. Because circumcision removes most if not all of the moving parts of a penis, intercourse becomes more abrasive to the delicate walls of the vagina or anus.

Additionally, the ridge of the head of the penis has been shown to draw out a significant amount oflubrication on each stroke, which increases the chance of painful sex. In contrast, this lubricant is captured by the foreskin, which recovers the head as it pulls out. This recovering action of the foreskin actually causes this sealed-in lubrication to be evenly distributed over the head of the penis, which keeps sex wetter for longer (and wetter is always better!). This problem only gets worse for women as they age, as their vaginal walls become thinner and more prone to tearing - not to mention they naturally produce less lubrication as they approach menopause.

Worse than all of this is that circumcised men need to fuck harder to get pleasure. His remaining pleasurable nerves are pressure nerve endings, and thus the man must pound his dick into the poor girl in a way that is less than enjoyable for her. Taking such long thrusts means that his pubic area isn't making consistent contact with her clitoris, which can keep her from orgasm; also the jolting, uneven rhythm of being violently banged makes it more difficult for her to come. No wonder so many women complain they can't orgasm during sex. The vibrator industry, however, is not complaining.

One study suggested that women are 85% more likely to experience orgasm with an intact partner, and that women prefer sex with intact men by a ratio of 8.6 to 1.

Men, I'm sorry if it's too late for you, but this isn't just about bemoaning what is lost. It's important to realize that if you're circumcised, you need to compensate for your lost foreskin. Use more lube, and reapply. Make sure she/he is satisfied, and try to lay off the rough banging. Most importantly, though, for both men and women, is to NEVER DO THIS TO YOUR SON. It's time we stop perpetuating male genital mutilation. After all, sex is one of the best things we can have. Why fuck with it?

AnInterview WithVancouver Phvslclan Rob Tanwall Rob Tarzwell, Staff Physician at St. Paul's Hospital and former UFV student (then known as Fraser Valley College), was the ho.st presenter at the Centre for Inquiry circumcision discussion at Simon Fraser University's downtown location last month. With about 30 people in attendance he made a short presentation on circumcision and then facilitated discussion. Rob also works at Lion's Gate Hospital and is on the faculty of medicine at the University of British Columbia.

With a lot of media coverage about circumcision as a prevention tool for HIV in Africa, I sat down with Rob to. discuss the issue. We discussed how the history of circumcision in North America features a lot of attempts to find benefits for the practice. Rob suggested that maybe the reason so much effort and money is being spent on campaigns to circumcise Africa is simply that it is in a cultural blindspot. "If you have a 'Circumcision, what's the big deal?' perspective, you're perhaps more open to consider it if there's a problem 'solved' by it ... I think another very common notion when it comes to male circumcision is, 'Meh ...We've always done it this way.m We also discussed how difficult quality research would actually be. "In sex studies it is especially hard to do good science, because people are generally inhibited to report their behaviour in a completely factual way.Threats to valid research are always present but perhaps more so in sex research. Particularly when the stakes are so high," he said. "There's no way to do a double-blind study involving circumcision! And of course, biases, money, cultural blindspots, religious agendas rapidly intrude." He also noted how what the research has really shown is that promoting condom use would be a much better use of HIV campaigns. "I mean, the question had scientific legitimacy, but we basically have the answer now: condoms are vastly more effective."

Rob and I also talked about some of the unspoken psychology that could be behind some of the efforts to circumcise African men. "There's something both convenient and yet also infantilizin~ in , this idea of circumcision as the magic HIV bullet," he said. "It's almost as if the promoters want it to be some kind of condom you never have to actually put on ...there's an aspect of saying, 'You won't behave responsibly, so we're going to modify you so your behaviour won't matter.' I bet nobody is advocating circumcision in South America; or the US specifically for HIV. There's no way that message would be tolerated, and public health officials would be too embarrassed to offer it." Rob did clarify though, that he wasn't an expert on the situation in Africa, and that certain factors could be at play. "There have been some really weird ideas about HIV in Africa, and there may be factors in the field that we are simply unaware 0£ For instance, I don't know how strong Catholic anti-condom propaganda is at actively discouraging use. Or whether condoms are in some way tribally unacceptable .. .! have no idea. It's really co1_11plex."

WEDNESDAY-, SEPTEMBER14th,2011

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UFV professor Jenea Tellentire oncircumcision Jenea Tellentire, a UFV professor who teaches Women's Studies, spoke with me at length about the shifting cultural attitudes towards circumcision, the feminist perspective on the issue and the importance of informed consent. Her experience studying and teaching gender issues in the Fraser Valley makes her a valuable asset in understanding the current framework that surrounds the issue in our area.

Tellentire recently visited a hospital in Vancouver where the practice is no longer performed. "In my recent tour of the delivery unit at Royal Columbian Hospital, the nurse running the tour was very firm that it was an elective procedure - a cosmetic surgery, in fact - and told us that you had to find a private clinic to do it, for pay," she said. "She really made it out to be_something that was not normal anymore, and not something peoEle should think about if they didn't have a particular reason like religion to consider it - but regardless, it was out of the hospital's hands. Not their business, · · or responsibility, in short. Which is quite the opposite of the past, when it was routinely offered and performed."

"This new message is I think a good one,"Tellentire said, impressed by the hospital's stance. "This preserves the ability of parents to pursue circumcision for cultural reasons, while eliminating the element of coercion on the part of medical staff or new parents who might normally not have any cultural reasons for doing it, and who are often unprepared or simply too weary to question anything staff puts forward as 'necessary' or 'for your baby's health.' Believe me, that is extremely powerful, especially within a few hours after birth." Because the practice is now defined as cosmetic surgery, it means that a lot of people need to reframe their understanding of the practice and its purpose. It also means those who wouldn't traditionally circumcise aren't sucked into debates about extremely minimal, hypothetical benefits. "Thinking of this as cosmetic surgery is interesting and especially useful when we're not talking about parents from cultures that view circumcision as a religious/cultural expression,"Tellentire said. "Though ifit is entirely for religious/cultural reasons, then it would [still] fit the definition of'cosmetic' as well- not medical."

Feminist the9rists differ on their stance towards male infant circumcision. While some are preoccupied with ensuring the practice is not directly compared with female genital cutting and the additional gender discrimination women fac_ein cultures that practice it, others feminists see circumcision as an issue that feminists should care about. "Some have issues when commentators try to portray male and female circumcision as equivalent, pointing out, for example, that the equivalent of clitoridectomy would be amputation of most of the penis,"Tellentire said. "However that doesn't mean male circumcision shouldn't be considered." She notes how an article published in Australian Feminist Studies called "Foreskin is a Feminist Issue" explains how "the reasoning for female circumcision in Africa" has a "striking resemblance" to reasons male circumcision is performed. A similar article written by feminist scholar Hanny Lightfoot-Klein actually illustrates some of these similar reasons, ranging from aesthetics, family tradition, normalcy, hygiene and a misunderstanding of the value of the tissue being removed. "If the attention to female circumcision and its widespread condemnation from the UN down can help us open the question of whether male circumcision is necessary or right, then that's good,"Tellentire said. However, she felt that rather than comparing whether the issue is the same, a better idea is simply to do a "straight-on look at what male circumcision means, and for our purposes looking right here in North America and BC. "To do that from a feminist perspective, Tellentire suggested asking two questi::ms:"why male circumcision is done, and whether it is ethical."

To answer the question of why circumcision is done, she shed some light on the mindset of the people who popularized the practice. "In the early 20th century, masturbation was consid!'!red a serious problem that would permanently weaken a hoy and man physically, as well as morally and spiritually,"Tellentire said. "Circumcision [was thought to] help curb that 'shameful tendency'. As well, the desensitization effect of circumcision would help curb male sexuality, sexual excess, even sex crimes - they were working with a 'volcano' model of male sexuality where it was seen as sort of an inevitable force that could become uncontrollable, so things like 'taming' the genitals would help."Though reasons for the practice vary today, none seem to hold weight in cultures where the practice is not already the norm. · The second question Tellentire set out to answer proved to be much more complex. "It's a classic ethical conundrum: it is wrong to alter bodies without or against the person's consent," she said.

"Yet as many feminists point out, control of one's own body is a clear feminist issue. That control can be argued to extend to body modifications such as piercing, tattoos, cosmetic surgery, scarification, etc." She then pointed out how many feminists stress individual agency. "Thus, many feminists would say elective body modification in adulthood is okay, with informed consent."

"Informed consent is the kicker," she said. "Coercion then becomes the central issue. This could appear in the form of medical or cultural authorities pushing the practice as necessary or required, with threats of medical, moral, or social consequences,. Or general ideas _floatingaround about 'being the same as other men' or that it makes men 'perform better sexually.' Or most simply, fears of'not being normal.'These different pressures damage people's capacity to get full information or make a freely-chosen decision. So it seems to follow that an adult male should be able to elect for such a surgery ifhe felt it necessary or desirable, as long as it was done with full informed consent of the risks, effects, and awareness of the differing pressures that might lead him to want such a procedure. ~ (That last bit is the trickiest). Then he can weigh the pros and cons."

"So the hospital's stance of declaring it an eiective cosmetic surgery and not offering the procedure themselves is a good step, yet still allowing for people really committed to cultural practices. As the article 'Foreskin is a Feminist Issue' notes, in some countries like the UK and New Zealand, the numbers have drastically fallen from early and mid 20th C NZ is less than 2 per cent now. So the role of the hospital/medical profession was obviously huge and now has a ajor effect in ending the practice."

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In interview With thefounderOI_ CIN-FIP

Vancouver has a number of internationally-known intactivists, but perhaps the best known is the hilarious, but -. genuine Glen Callender,founder of the Canadian Foreskin Awareness Project (CAN-FAP). Glen is a Vancouver-based writer arid th,esenior arts and entertainment editor at UQ Events. At the time of this interpiew with The Cascade, which tookplace back in April, Glen was running an informative seminar called Foreskin 101. However, since that time, · he has taken his show on the road with his lovely assistant Jennifer Campagnolo, doing demonstrations at Whistler Pride, Car Free Day in Vancouver, San FranciscoPride, Vancouver Pride, Edmonton Fringe, and most recently Davie Day in Vancouver on September 10.

Why should university students care about this issue, especially if they aren't having kids yet?

pleasure potential of the intact penis.

.

Why is this such a hot-button . issue in Vancouver?

B.C. is one of the least circumcised provinces in Canada, partly because B.C.'s Medicare program was the first to stop paying for circumcisions (in 1984).Today less than 10 per cent of B.C. boys are circumcised, and now that they are in the minority, young circumcised men are realizing that they are missing something, and they are increasingly unhappy about the fact that the most sensitive and enjoyable parts of their penises were cut off for no good reason.

What is the purpose of"Foreskin 101" and h,-,r is it being received?

"Foreskin 101" is an educational seminar about the anatomy, functions, and

men on this planet have their foreskin, they are perfectly healthy, and they are not complaining. These are the realities that every cut man must face, because it is of vital importance that, should they have a son, they break the cycle and leave him intact so he can live his sex life to the fullest.

Using my own penis and some multimedia materials, I demonstrate how to achieve several different types of orgasm - including the elusive male multiple orgasm - by stimulating different areas of the inner foreskin. I think of"Foreskin 101" as my revenge against the B.C. sexed curriculum, because when I went through sex ed in the 1980s, there was no foreskin on the· diagram of the penis in the textbook. As a result of this horrible failure to educate people about foreskin, many people today still swallow the BS line that foreskin is just vestigial "extra skin" that doesn't really matter to a man's sexual pleasure. In fact, the inner foreskin is by far the most sensitive and orgasmic part of the penis, and I can prove it.

As for how the seminar is being re' ceived, I've presented it three times so University students should care far and the response has been tremenbecause they will probably have kids dously positive - I've 'been getting someday, and the last thing anyone rave reviews.from circumcised men, wants to do is hurt their child. From intact men and women alike. Eventumy perspective, university students ally I'll be putting the material online are an ideal group to talk to, precisely so every Canadian can have access to because most of them haven't had it from.the comfort of their home. kids yet. People who have already cut their sons are much harder to reach, If a woman (or man) finds that, because it's difficult for any parent to seemingly against her own will, face the fact that they have sexually mutilated their child - even though she finds a penis with fore· they thought they were doing the skin less appealing than the right thing at the time. variety she's used to, what should '

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER14th, 2011

she do? What is the solution?

Hatred of foreskin is like hatred of black cats: it is 100 per cent learned.

If you have been "educated" to dis- · like foreskin, counter that by educating yourself about what foreskin truly is and what it does. When you know what the foreskin actually is and what its benefits are for both the man and woman - and there are many benefits -you'll appreciate it a lot more. Also, switch to European porn, so you can see intact penises in action.

Canada is saturated with circumcised American porn, which creates a false normality.

This issue isn't about making circumcised men out to be mutilated or worse lovers, so what should circumcised men learning about the intactivist movement

What's the best thing about having a foreskin?

In my case, the extremely intense multiple orgasms. At the seminar I show a video clip of me having five orgasms - including ejaculations_ - within five minutes, all without touching the head of my penis or "jerking" my hand up and down the shaft. All I'm doing is lightly massaging my inner foreskin! I'll be putting a "multiple foregasm" demonstration video up on the CAN-FAPweb site later this yea,r- believe me, it's the wank video every Canadian should see.

How can people get involved?

Photo:James Loewen

keep in mind?

Actually, this issue is partly about informing circumcised men that they are !Jideed mutilated - they are missing more than half of their penile nerves (including the five most sensitive parts of their penises) and approximately half of their penile skin (including the critical, nerve rich inner mucous membranes; which reduce friction on both the penis and vagina during intercourse). What's worse, eve~g that is exposed by the "missing foreskin is gradually building up a thicker and thicker layer of scar tissue and losing even more sensitivity.

Men circumcised in infancy will-live their entire lives never once knowing how sex is supposed to feel. Their bodies and erotic lives have been arbitrarily censored, and it's impossible to completely repair the damage.

And that's a tragedy.

I will not perpetuate the ridiculous fiction that it really doesn't make any difference if a man is circumcised or not, because giving cut men false assurances that their penises are not diminished leads to more baby boys

being cut. Most circumcised men today are leaving their sons intact because they know that circumcision is harmful and unnecessary, and I am dedicated to continuing that trend, not undermining it.

Circumcised men learning about the inta,ctivist movement should keep in mind that intactivists are not against circumcision per se: we have no objec. tion to consenting adults modifying their bodies as they see fit. We are opposed to circumcision being forced! upon children. This really isn't about circumcised men, because, unfortunately, it's too late for them. It's about protecting the children yet to be born.

Circumcised men should also understand that intactivists are not attacking their penises: that is what the person with the knife did. Ironically, we are actually defending their penises, or more accurately, defending the penises they were born with.

We assert that circumcised men were perfect and healthy and normal when they were born: their penises were not deformed, ugly, or unhygienic. Their penises did not require urgent surgical correction. Over 80 percent of the

On a personal level, have a serious discussion with anyone you know who is expecting a baby hoy. It may be a sensitive subject, but it's a vitally important issue because kids being cut today will live most of their lives in a very different world - a world where foreskin is respected, protected and even admired - and they will be much angrier about their circumcisions than men of previous generations.

Second, if fllere isn't an intactivist grollp on your camplis, start one. It's time for Canadian youth to get active on this issue, because there will be a fight over this, just like there were fights for queer equality, women's reproductive freedom, and the rest.

Canadian males will not truly have sexual freedom so long as other people have the right to arbitrarily amputate their sex organs. The right to a whole body is a basic human right, and yes, it's worth fighting for.

For those interested in getting involved, 'Like'the CAN-FAP page on Facebook (www.facebook.com/ canfap) to stay in the loop about upcoming CAN-FAP events.

DICl ■OVE...

NOMATIER HOW YOU SllCE IT Even after looking at so many different aspects of the practice, there are many things about circumcision that this feature simply didn't have space to discuss. Take, for example, Amanda Euringer's 2007 article "Foreskin Facecream" in Vancouver's 1heTyee,which she questioned the ethics of infant foreskins being sold for profit. "Human foreskin fibroblast is used in all kinds of medical procedures from growing skin for burn victims and for eyelid replacement, to growing skin for those with diabetic ulcers (who need replacement skin to cover ulcers that won't heal), to making creams and collagens in the cosmetics industry (yes, the product that is injected into puffy movie-starlet lips)," Euringer writes. "One of the most publicized examples of the foresRin-for-sale trend involves a skin cream that has been promoted by none other than Oprah Winfrey. ..which costs over SlOO US for a 0.63 oz bottle, [and] is used by many high.:..profilecelebrities (such as Winfrey and Barbara Walters) as an alternative to cosmetic surgery." It was made clear on her show several times and on her website that the cream was "engineered from human foreskin!" Euringer's article draws into question the ethics of such a practice, especially since parents are often not informed that their children's body parts are being sold, or that the supposedly unbiased doctor might be influenced consciously or unconsciously by financial motivations.

But times are changing, and people now have access to research they didn't before. On August 26, the Canadian University Press newswire published a great article, originally published in Wilfrid Laurier University's student newspaper 1he Cordentitled "In defence of foreskins."In the article, Amelia Calbry-Muzyka argues that "...a male should be entitled to protection from harmful religious acts and unnecessary medical practices he cannot consent to ...just because a practice is traditional, it is · not necessarily right."

Even within Orthodox Judaism there is a growing need to question the ethics of removing a valuable part of a child's body without their consent. Eliyahu UngarSargon is an Orthodox Jew who struggled with the issue. He decided to make a full-Jledged documentary on the topic, as he interviewed family, friends, rabbis, doctors, and more. The film, Cut: Slicing1hrough1heMyths Of Circumcisionis now available in an abridged form for free on YouTube. Eli is currently on tour, taking the film across the United States and Canada, speaking with audience members after the film.It's a powerful documentary, and will have a Vancouver showing on October 24.

For more information about the showing, or other local "intactivist" events and news, check out the Facebook group Greater Vancouver Intactivists @ facebook.com/ GVIntactivists.

WEDNESDAY,SEPI'EMBER14th,2011

CascadeArcade

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Is it finally time to address the rampant sexism in games? '

,

JOEL SMART THE CASCADE Gender inequality became a surprise controversy during a panel discussion in mid-August at the Melbourne Freeplay games festival.

The panel discussion included, most notably, Zero Punctuation's Ben "Yahtzee" Crosshaw, as well as literary and theatre critic Alison Croggon and the owner offumpButton game magazine, Drew Taylor. When the panel was asked to answer the question "Where are all the female game critics?" the waves were felt throughout the game industry.

Part of the issue is that there are, in fact, quite a number of female game critics, but even though some are winning awards for their work, they continue to struggle to gain mainstream visibility. Critical Distance senior editor Ben Abraham

spoke about this on his blog, upset that even within the panel, a certain apathy was shown to the fact that though there are female game critics, they were made invisible despite the panel discussing their struggle for visibility. To her credit, Croggon spoke of the built-in sexism that virtually every industry faces in our culture, even within her field of literhelp m e ·s n point, r am ary criticism." ... It's absolutely true quoted a tweet by designer Ben Britthat women face structured difficulten, who said: "Gender disparity is ties that men don't face. It's just a a society wide problem, it would be fact.:.you can just take it as read that great if the game community could if there's a woman's name attached to be at the forefront of the change." something it will attract less notice," Rob Reid tweeted a:similar messhe said. "It doesn't matter about the , sage from the conference: "Gamcontent at all. And if you want to ers are problem solvers. Surely if achieve any kind of prominence, and there's a community that can figure it's still the case, you have to be three out how to recognize the women times as good as any man." amongst them it's us."I have to During the discussion agree with Abraham that these are there were also noteworthy tweets great thoughts, and it would be so by players and game designers. To inspiring to see the medium of video

games used to tackle some of these issues. After all, one of the strengths of a quality video game is its ability to put you in the shoes of someone · else.

However, game producer and designer Asa Roos just wrote a column ~t week that appeared on video game website Gamesutra in which she critiques Abraham's conclusion. Abraham claims that gamers and developers are "some of the best and brightest people on the planet" and that "if anyone can address this and other problems like it, we can."

Roos challenged the notion, wondering why, if that were the case, games, in fact, had more than their share of sexism, racism and other stereotypes.

She pointed to Lara Croft, the female lead character ofTomb Raider, often touted as an example of a strong female lead, but better known for her large breasts. Sure, there are

.

an increasing number of games that feature female characters with their own values, journeys and character development. However, we are a long way away from being at the forefront of change, especially considering the financial risk of investing in a game that might not find an audience gamers have to be willing to pay for it, after all.

The good news is tliat as casual gaming grows, so too does the female audience. With the additional benefit of digital distribution and bite-sized gaming, the ability to make smaller games at lower costs increases the ability of interested developers to pursue games that challenge cultural norms and stereotypes and tell the stories of the oppressed.

A good game is a good game, and if done well, stories like that could make all the difference.

The W~kly HoroscopeStarSignsfromtheSumasSibyl Aquarius: January 20 - February

Gemini: May 21 - June 21

18

Libra: September 23 - October 22

If you circumciseyour child, a

Wearing deodorant will be highly conducive to maintaining friendships this week.

giant bat will come down and

mutilate_your genitals.

Yotigotta get down C)nFriday.Or · else.

Pisces: February 19 - March 20

Cancer: June 22 - July 22

Scorpio: October 23 - November 21

The cosmic knowledge fish have the answer to your problems.

Unfortunately they're still off on stress leave in Maui. ·

You'reat the wrong school.At 12 p.m. on Thursday,the hallway of building B will'take you to Hogwarts.

Run for Premier!There's a good chance that if you, too, screw over the province,you'll be awarded the Order of B;C. as well.

Leo: July 23 - August22 Aries: March 21-April 19

You'dbetter watch your back. Mr. Dress-up's doll wants to know why he no longer has a bar on campus.

~

Don't bother updating your Facebook status this week. Nobody actuallycares.

Virgo:August 23 - September 22 Taurus: April 20 - May 20 The stars say,"Porn may be free, but use your computer for studying this week."

The winds suggest avoiding After. math's "Ridonkuliss"burger. You are, after all,what you eat.

Sagittarius:November 22 - December 21 · ·

In your last life, it appears that you were Elvis. Or a hound dog.· It's unclear.

Capricorn: December 22 - January 19 ..

The leavesof change flutter as Capricorn enters the path of the Pleiades.That's pretty much it.

AREN'T YOU SUPPOSEDTO BE MOWING THE LAWN?

WEDNESDAY,SEPTEMBER14th, 2011

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Outside the Take-Out Box·: O'Neill's Home Cooking sceptics of the world may wonder 33771 Gosling Way if such a thing is even conceivably Abbotsford, BC V2S 3V2 . possible, but if they have to ask that 604. 746.4048 question, they've obviously never been wwwfacebook.com/oneills.homedown Gosling Way. While we live in a world that's all cooking about getting as much as possible for Prices under $5. 99 Hours: Monday to Saturday 8 a.m. as little as possible, it seems rare that a restaurant owner wouldn't be tempted to 4 p.m.; Sunday 10 a.m. to 2 to take the same quantity ov~r quality

AMY VANVEEN THE

CASCADE

Open since August 2010, Vern O'Neill's Home Cooking has been catering to a wide variety of Fraser Valleyans. From junior high to high school, college students to empl~yees of other eateries in town, Vern attracts people from all over with his reputation for good food, good prices and that delicious sweet potato bun.

After selling his business in Saint John about fifteen years ago, Vern felt it was ti~e for a change. "I noticed , I wasn't as sharp as I had been so I decided that the best thing to do was to work again, but this time doing something I love to do. Since I like talking to people and cooking,-this was pe rfiect fior me."

From the first customer he had, his restaurant mantra has always been the same: "wholesome food that's priced right and tastes delicious."The foodie

approach that so many others do. .

Vern O'Neill's food is qu.ite simply "home cooking at its best."

"I ensure fresh ingredients,"he notes, "because I buy my eggs from a local farmer and they are free range birds. The ham comes from Karl's Meats, the local butcher, and I make my buns fresh daily. I don't deal with food wholesalers because they can't tell me what parts of the chicken is in their chicken salad. My chicken salad is made fresh by me and I only use the breasts." As someone who has always been wary of how much of the chicken salad is actually chicken, this was music to my ears.

The bun, though; that sweet potato bun that is made fresh every morning came about as surprisingly as other miraculous discoveries like Teflon and penicillin. "I was messin' around in the• kitchen and it was born. I thought, 'I wonder. if this would make a good breakfast sandwich,' and it turned out it was an all-day sandwich, which I

Book Review DemetriMartin- Thisis a Book AMY VANVEEN THE

CASCADE

Publisher: Grand Central Publishing, Cover Price: S24.99 Demetri Marlin is the kind of comedian that forces you to think.

For those who have never heard of Demetri Martin and are wondering what kind of idiot would be a fan of a comedian who makes them think, let me explain.

There are some jokes that are easy.

They're given to audiences on a silver platter with a neon sign and there is little to no involvement on the part of the individual. 'Iliere are other jokes· that are supposed to make people uncomfortable which then forces them to laugh, giving the comedian a response - albeit an awkward one.

And then there's Demetri Martin.

The subtlety with which he delivers his material at first makes you wonder if he's reached his punch line at all, but if you're an intelligent audience member hoping to do more than just sit next to the drunk guy who laughs at anything anyway,then Demetri Martin is the one for you, especially now that his brilliance is so easily accessible in the form of his first book, Ibis is a Book.

His humour is a mixture of grammar and syntax, what-if situations that no person of average intelligence would ever think about, and flipcharts.

Sure, he sounds nerdy, but that's because he is. In his first book, he gives his reader-audience everything they need to understand it, including directions on "How to Read This Book."

He then begins his first chapter with a few "Announ~ements" as to how this quasi-show is going to go including, but not limited to, "We do not allow dwarf tossing. If you toss a dwarf, the dwarf will be tossed right back at you, but faster."

There are a couple of j~kes in his stand-up repertoire that seemed to be funny on their own like how A Christmas Carol missed out on one of the ghosts: the ghost of Christmas future perfect or how he wishes there was a

video game where you have to take care of the people who have been shot in the other games. On their own, hilarious, and when expanded upon,you get chapters like "A Christmas Carol (the Deleted Scene)" and "Protagonists' Hospital."

Do you ever wonder what a bee sting is like for the bee? Or maybe what it's like for the friend watching her friend get stung by a bee? Or what__it'slike for the magazine with which the bee was struck? Or how the tree felt? Or how the squirrel in the tree felt? Your answers can be found here in the chapter entitled "Bee · Sting."

Do you ever wonder what a calendar for people who don't like cats would consist of? I never wondered, but now I can't stop wondering .thanks to Demetri.

How about a day in acronyms? An average guy starts his day with "ZZZ" and then both the day and his life end with "RIP,"but don't worry, everything in between is filled in cryptically enough to make you figure it out on your own.

And how many c9medians would devote a chapter to "The Word Awards"? This chapter is a gold mine for English students and for lexophiles alike.

For those hard-core fans that wait with anticipation for his go-to charts, graphs, and diagrams, rest assured.

There are more than enough to go around, as well as statistics, ideas, opinions and zingers.

There is almost too much in Ibis is a Book, but at the same time there is never enough. Every time you pick it up, you can expect to laugh or wrinkle in your brow as you ponder over the punch line until you finally get it and laugh not-so-quietly to yourself while sitting alone in a crowded restaurant.

Get used to it, because when you pick up Demetri Martin's Ibis is a Book, you never know what you're going to get.

If only Forrest Gump could have had this book instead of a box of chocolates.

get praised for every day by anyone new to the store. They are brought there by people who were new just the day before."

Don't think this ever-growing popularity will get to his head, though.

Despite any difficulties that arise with a new restaurant or the accolades he receives, the love of cooking and the joy of talking with people will always remain at the heart of Vern's Home Cooking.

When asked ifhe had anything to recommend to a student foodie, or even just a hungry student, Vern suggests "everything on my menu." Every. square inch of it is "good wholesome food priced right. "The prices remain under six dollars, far surpassing any fast food in both quality of ingredients and cost to students. "If you buy one hot meal, you can buy another at half price to take home for dinner.

All hot meals are SS'.99and another can be purchased for $2.99." (Yes. That means lasagne or jambalaya or anything else that may catch your eye on his special of the day menu.)

"My biggest seller is the O'Neill sandwich. The best on the mainland.

One sweet potato roll, toasted with cooked black forest ham, a fresh cooked egg, a slice of cheese, and mayo for $3.99. Guaranteed to satisfy you like nothing you have eaten before."Vern O'Neill is a man who

speaks the truth, so this claim is to be taken very seriously. lhe O'Neill sandwich elicited incredulousness with one just bite;and the last bite came all too quickly. He does offer the O'Neill with beef for those who aren't a fan of the ham, but, as he's sure to tell you, the saltiness of the ham so perfectly complements the sweetness of the bun, that it's a shame to mess with a good thing.

Do yourself a favour. Take five minutes between classes to "drivedown to

Gosling Way just northeast of South Fraser Way and Montrose Ave, have a take-out sandwich you'll never forget and grab a couple of dinners to savour later. You will not regret the sandwich, nor will you regret the company.

Vern sums it up best: "I am most proud of the diverse range of customers I have and how much they make me feel as ifl am doing something incredible. In my 31 year insurance career, I have never felt as good as this business makes me feel."

EAT! Fraser Valley: Qet your teeth into it SASHA MOEDTfroil1the Fraser THE

in home.made Valley,people food, who are focused on eating local,. rather _and organic foods thari a and beverages." franchised Other well-known restaurant, breweries and vinethe venue was great yards such as Yellow Tail Wines, and for us to showoff Dead Frog Brewing will be participating. our food.

Lotusland Vineyards People will be pouring their could see our logo, most popular wines and come for the public. Avery back in the wants to show the public "wines that are future to try us out." priced within their At the Bite of the Valley,you'll get a budgets ... [and] bechance to talk to the sides being organic, chefs and owners of good for you from a health standpoint." local restaurants, look The Bite of the through their entire Valley exhibition, on menu, and sample their own menu the other hand, inselections. Russell volves the serving up of menu items from says that they will ten Valley restaube "serving our outrants; from Milestanding 'bambino stones to Frankie's burger' fresh off the BBQ. an amazItalian Kitchen. ing spicy jambalaya Appetizer portions penne, with chorizo, are served, again with prawns, and chicken, the cap price of four and our New York dollars.

One of the deli cheesecake with chocolate raspberry participators of the sauce and hazelnut Bite of the Valley is The Baron Bar and whipped cream. " Grill, this being their Definitely something second year at EAT! worth checking out!

The well-known Fraser Valley.Sherry Russell of the Baron City TV Master Chef Competition will says that she is enthusiastic about their take place at this year's EAT! Fraser past experiences at the festival: "The first Valley.Seventeen chefs from across BC year we were there was amazing, we met will be competing, Iron Chef style, in so many people that didn't know where front of an audience we were and because all three days of the we are a small restaufestival.

The central stage rant that specializes

CASCADE

If you want to get your teeth into a bit of Abbotsford this September, look for the food and cooking festival coming to us mid-month.

EAT! Fraser Valley is a medley of food and beverage tasting, menu-surfing, and education. It takes place at the Tradex Exhibition Centre September 16 to 18.

The festival features wine, beer and spirits tasting, 'Bite of the Valley' food sampling from an array oflocal restaurants, -aswell as the City TV Master Chef Competition presented for the first time in Abbotsford.

In addition, a center stage, the Food Network Celebrity· stage, will be set and well-known chefs and experts will be presenting their knowledge to the public every hour.

The wine, beer and spirits tasting will be from an assortment of valley breweries, wineries and restaurants. Displays and information booths will be set out, and samples are cheap, with the maximum price of four dollars.

Liz Avery of the Lotusland Vineyards will be participating in the beverage tasting in hopes to "attract customers

at the EAT! Festival giving educational classes and seminars is the Food Network. on beer tasting.

Celebrity stage.

For those of us Here tlu;ee Canadian ·· that can't keep their coo~g-stars will hands off a waxtake the stage and do wrapped Babybel, their cooking-stuff: the Dairy Farmers Chuck Hughes, host of Canada will be of Food Network's presenting..a series 'Chuck's Day Off'; of cheese-seminars.

Rob Feenie, probTopics covered by ably best known the cheese experts fot his White Spot commercials but is includes storing and serving cheeses, difmore renowned for ferences between the being the Iron Chef crusts and textures of America winner; and Graham Kerr, the cheeses, and pairing wines and cheeses. celebrity Galloping Gourmet man. Every Thirteen seminars will be held throughhour throughout out the three days. these three days EAT! Fraser Valwill see one of these ley runs Friday the chefs, and others for 16th from 2 p.m. to education on food 9 p.m., and on the pairing, serving, 17th from 11 a.m. prepping and much to 9 p.m., while the more. eighteenth ends at 5 An additional show stage during p.m. Details on stage the festival will presscheduling are online at http://www.eatent the Just Here for fraservalley.com/ So the Beer team. Just if you're looking for Here for the Beer is a taste of something a Vancouver-based new this fall, look beer education and up the EAT! Fraser consulting company Valley in Abbotsford who will take the at the Tradex. stage every hour,

r WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 14th, 2011

The Q&A with Ruskin ALEX WATKINS THE CASCADE Local ·fun-loving rocker band Ruskin is back from a hiatus and is preparing an all-new recording session for release, perhaps even· on cassette (audiophiles, take note): A jaw session with members Corey Abell, Joe Chipman, Keanan Holness and Colby Morgan yielded thoughts on the band's creative process and distinctly new musical direction, along with a surprisingly in-depth exploration of who they'd eat first if trapped on a desert island. The following is a collection of highlights - check ufvcascade. ca for the full-length interview and a bonus audio clip in which the band is left alone with the voice recorder and general hilarity ensues.

I just want to start off by asking how you guys met each other and [getting] a brief history of the band.

CA: I guess it starts when I met Keanan, if you wanna go way back ...

I was in elementary school, and we were the only kids that liked rock and roll, and we both played electric bass; I remember just sitting in front of him with a bass ... and I had no idea how to play it.

CM: I don't even know, I think me and Keanan started jamming ... acoustic,just hanging out ... we had no idea ... what to call it; Corey came up with Ruskin [the name of the area the band practices in].

JC: Bronson Izzard [of local group Familia] is how I came into this band... we went to a party ... with a bunch of people I had never met but ...

I saw some familiar faces. And later, after Bronson put the bug in ... somebody's ear, I saw [the other band members] at the skate park ... and [they] were like: "You wanna jam?" And ... that was it, I think.

KH: We didn't wanna seem too needy, so we didn't tell him he was in

the bandright away.

CA: We waiteduntil the beginning

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going on a tour in a month." [Laughs] And he was like, "Alright."

......-..• ••••..

•.

-

So you guys took a bit of a break for awhile .:..whathave you been up to most recently?Do you have anyplans for recordingor touring?

,

·.

CA: We just recorded a live-off-thefloor session that is to be mixed and released. I think it's gonna be called "Ruskin: Blown up and Exploded."

[Laughter] CM: No it's not!

CA: Dammit! I was hoping if I said it now, it'd have to stick ...

Where was your first show?

CA: Our first show with Joe was at a Halloween party in a hall ... we all had hilarious costumes on. [CM was] an alien, [KH was] a robot ... I had an astronaut costume and Joe was this• super-handsome doctor.

JC: Super-handsome.

KH: And ... all three of us left the stage, [and] were just like: "Everybody, this is our new drummer," and we all just left and got drinks, and Joe just had to do a drum solo... [until] we came back.

In the earlyRuskin days[yourmusic] was a lot different than the new stuff tha~ you've been coming out with, and I was wondering if ... you're naturallybuilding on what happened before, or [if you're]consciously trying to takea step in a new direction?

KH: I wouldn't say consciously; I think it's jusfhappened ... organically.

CM: Our new songs got more rock-y, because we started listening to heavier music, I think. And then since we were on that hiatus we came back and we didn't have anything to play... we had old songs but we couldn't really remember them, so... they got really simple.

Image: http://www.myspace.com/ruskinband

people move ... like, we played at the Zoo Zhop [recently] and I... stopped playing guitar and we just jumped into the crowd, and everyone was just moving. We also played at the Biltmore and we spiced things up a lot, I think.

KH: That was our first show back [from the hiatus] ... We're not allowed to play at the Biltmore [now]. [Laughter]

Really?

JC: We had the whole crowd rush the stage on our last two songs, and it was fucking rad, because we played last and the band before us was the headlining band.

So did people rush the stage sponSo even your old stuffhas changed taneously, or did you kind of tell now. them to?

CA: Yeah,totally.We playit so difCA: Yeah, we can't say they rud it of ferently,andthat'sjust who we aremutheir own accord; we definitely played like,"HeyJoe, can youjoin the band?" sicallynow. a part.

And he was like:"Ohhh yeah, that'd be CM: Personally,since we've started CM: By provoking them. . cool." [And thi;p we told him,] "We're playing,I've been just tryingto make KH: By backing away from the mi-

of the second practice ... And we were

crophones! [Laughs]

I remember at the Battle of the Bands [Maple Ridge competition], you got those balls and you threw them out in the crowd...

CA: That was planned fun. We were like: "OK, we're gonna get balls, and at this part of the set we're gonna kick them in the audience." Now it's just like: "Well, we'll see what happens and ... just go with it."

KH: Plus we can't afford balls now.

JC: I was thinking of a better stage prop than balls: it was the confetti guns. We went to the dollar store before we played at the Big Easy- the musie festival in Nanaimo -and we found these confetti guns [so we could] shoot a bunch of confetti into the crowd.

CM: But it was windy that day and ·it all blew back at us! [Laughter]

When ~ you going to come out with the stuffyou'verecorded?

CA: TBA. Yeah, we're gonna figure it all out.

Are you going to sell it off your MySpace? '

KH: We'll probably just give it away at shows, that's what we normally do.

CM: We're not really good with the whole other side of things, we just know how to play music ... [but] we've spent a lot of money! [Laughs]

I have one last question for you guys, and this one's kind of silly,

but... if you were trapped on a desert island together, who would you eat first?

CA: Colby has a lot of sharp bones that could really facilitate the use of weapons and spears to hunt, so I might just kill Colby as a res6'urce. [Laughter] CM: I think we might thrive in that environment! [Laughs] We could actually concentrate on something!

KH: No,we couldn't.

AlburnReview StephenMalkrnusand the Jicks MirrorTraffic NICKUBELS THE CASCADE Expertly navigating the treacherous

watersthat spanprecisionand spontaneity, focus and diversion, significance

andwry irreverence,StephenMalkmus' Mi"or Trafficis an unassuming knockout of an album. Notably, this is his first release since Pavement's high profile reunion tour last year.

While some fans held out an admittedly desperate hope that the definitive alternative band of the 1990s - and heroes to slackers everywhere - would rekindle the creative fire that once produced five powerhouse records, Malkmus was clear from tlie start that the band's limited engagement would be just that. It seems that one well-received reunion tour was not enough to overcome the claustrophobia that caused Malkmus to affix a pair of handcuffs to his mic stand during Pavement's last appearance at Brixton Academy in 1999 and proclaim, "These symbolize what it's like being in a band all these years." Mi"or Trafficis, however, both his most Pavement-like release since the dissolution of the band and an inspired step forward.

freelyon the rest of the album,Mal"I caughtyou streakingin your Birkenstocks/ A scarythought/ in the 2ks,"sings Malkmuson the ebullientand rollickingalbumopener "Tigers."Thetrackpairshis idiosyncraticallyso-unearnest-it's-earnest vocaldeliverywith an easy,virtuosic melodicismhard-earnedby more than 20 yearsof making music for a living.At 45, Malkmus'songs still follow the off-kilter,hairpinturnsthat distinguishhis entirecatalogue.These detoursareunexpectedlygraceful here,especiallyon "Tigers,"where the jive-y rhythmof the intro .and verseeasesinto a slide guitar-powered chorus that recalls the vaguelycountry inflections of Pavementclassics like "RangeLife"and "Father to a Sister ofThought."

Mirror Trafficis bolstered by producer and fellow 90s icon Beck Hansen's relatively unobtrusive touch which serves to focus Mi"or Trajfils abundant grooves in a much more constructive way than its predecessor Real Emotional Trash's overly jammy asides. Beck's influence is most evident on the agile "Stick Figures in Love,"but his presence can be felt

kJnus takes a different take on track two. "No One.Is (AsI Are Be)"is a

rare,gently finger-pickedfolk number

throughout the album's nuanced and wide-open mixes.

Stephen Malkmus is once again accompanied by the Jicks, a crack squad of live and studio vets including Janet Weiss (Sleater-Kinney) on drums, Joanna Bolme (Qyasi, Calamity Jane) on bass and Mike Clark (The No-Nos, The Surf Maggots) on guitar.

These pros are more than capable of keeping stride with their bandleader's many whims and their performances give the album a live feel whether or not it was actually recorded in such a manner.

While the Jicks have the opportunity to ply their considerable talents

replete with whispered vocals. Indeed, -Mi"or Trajfils 15 tracks are rife with a diversity of genre excursions, including "Tune Grief," a sneering two minute and 12 second punkfuelled joyride and "Jumblegloss," an eerie, one-minute instrumental boogie awash with undulating, shimmering guitars.

"Senator," the album's first single, has attracted its fair share of clamour over the typically apolitical or at least apathetic Malkmus' disaffected take on (mostly) government corruption and environmental politics. Most of the controversy is centered on his declaration that "what the senator wants is a blow job," a lyric which was amended to "corndog" for the radio version after an online contest invited listeners to suggest an FCC-friendly replacement. The track really serves as a focal point for the album with its defiant stop-start delivery and muscular instrumentation. It also boast such other memorable lines as "Dioxin the chemical sunset / your number one

subsetof all,"and,"Myduty to the Republique/ Is to use doublespeak/ 'Cause the halo's off."

The keyto Malkmus'rampant wordplayand free-associativelyrics is that they often work in service of

conveyinga theme or mood rather than reproducinga clearnarrative.

The listener is left with a collection of striking images and unforgettable axioms in place of the usual series of worn out tropes and cliches. Far from oblique, Malkmus leaves a strong impression of personality that is frank, honest and - most importantlycreatively freeing. Who could ask for more?

At once energetic, effortless and raucous, Mi"or Trafficis Stephen Malkmus' most fully-realized and enjoyable listens in years. The shorter running times and spur-of-the-moment lyrics give the album a vitality sorely missing from some of his most recent work. His fifth solo album in 10 years, Mi"or Trafficstands up as one of his best. One can only hope that this renewed creative impulse continues to manifest itself in future releases from Pasadena's favourite son.

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ARTS&LIFE

SoundBites

~ ~

8

WEED

CIVL Shuffle BRAD VAN HAASTREGT CONTRIBUTOR

I CIVL DJ

Brad van Haastregt is the host of Haters Gonna Hate which airs from 11 a.m. - 12 p.m. on Tuesdays. The show mostly plays a variety of new indie and alternative music, as well as a weekly mash-up and The Wisdom ofWeezer.

Foster the People - "Helena Beat" Despite "Helena Beat'"s somewhat dark content, Mark Foster sings in an unavoidably infectious way, complete with hand claps and "woo's". "Helena Beat" opens Foster the Peoples first studio album Torches,and was also released the same day as the iTunes free single.

Weed With Drug/Eighty

Male Bonding Endless Now

The Vancouver based lo-fi/indie rock band Weed has _followed up their 2010's fuzzy soundscape entitled Down In 1he Valley EP, which pushed them into the forefront of British Columbia's promising music scene, with With Drug/Eighty. Even though the EP is limited to two new tunes, Weed brilliantly infuses moody summer vibes and Weezer-like powerchords throughout the short, but sunny take on rough 90s pop. Both tracks "With Drug" and "Eighty" showcase their ability to bait their audience with bursts of vocal _hooks, but never leave them wanting. The verses of these songs are treated with care and concern before the big hooks are released on the chorus. These verses are as good as - and in the case of the wildly jump verse of "With Drug," more interesting than - the chorus that follows.

With Drug/Eighty EP is available on limited release with only 200 7" copies and for free download on their bandcamp webpage.

Building on the success of last year's One great thing I've noticed as a new Sub Pop debut Nothing Hurts, reigning electronic music adventurer is the DIY champions Male Bonding return [guilt]-free downloads. Case in point: with a new LP that once again pairs Pyramid. The student producer and heart~on-the-sleeve lyrics with aggres- aspiring soundtrack composer from sive instrumentation to great effect. Lyon, France recently released his new Endless Now is a brisk 36 minutes of LP Lost In Space, and you can downno-nonsense mid-fi. With producer load the whole thing for free from the John Agnello (Kurt Vile, Cymbals Eat music blog www.musigh.com.

Guitars) at the helm, the UK noiserock trio's latest effort is cleaner and The aptly named Lost In Space gives more coherent by a measure of degrees, you that sci-fi, "Space lnvaders" feel. allowing the band's immaculate punkYou're definitely going to hear links pop instincts and sad-eyed lyrics to between Pyramid and fellow French shine through even more clearly than producers Daft Punk, especially on on their gritty first release. At times, tracks like "Digital Rain," one of the Endless Now channels a similar mix more dance-floor ready tunes on the of soft, dense distortion tempered by record. A few tracks tend to slow the melody-first sensibilities as the band's pace down, like "Life," an overly reforerunners Teenage Fanclub, though petitive slumper. Generally though, he the tempos are at least 60 bpm faster. holds your interest. Even with a few What sets this record apart is its will- slower moving tracks, Lost In Space ingness to venture beyond typical · keeps your attention throughout, and noise-pop fare, like on the acoustic makes for a' great soundtrack for your number "The Saddle." The listener is next stroll through the stars. left with a gem of a fall album.

TIMUBELS

NICKUBELS

Pyramid Lost In Space

ANDREW KOOLE

Blind Pilot We Are The Tide Blind Pilot's We Are 1he Tide is the perfect ·soundtrack for the first week back on campus, where everything is still warm and- mellow and nobody's started to worry about midterms yet.

The ten tracks meander along, throwing out infectious beats, easy harmony and banjo riffs. Its rhythms bring to mind Sufjan Stevens' Come On, Feel 1he Illinoise! or, in places,. the early albums of Stars. This album is like your cool hipster friend who wears yellow plaid and will always let you crash on his couch. It is a suromery album, full of catchy tunes and clever lyrics, and is the perfect transition from one season to another. The title track, "We Are The Tide," with a marimba-like background and sweet trumpet solo, plunges the listener right into that same feeling as stepping into the very edge of the ocean and wiggling your toes in the sand. It feels, more than anything, like a celebration of summer and just living in general as they croon in the chorus, "Don't you know you're alive?"

DESSA BAYROCK

Mother Mother - "Chasing It Down" "Chasing It Down" is off Mother Mother's third LP, Eureka, in which Mother Mother are concerned with more down-to-E;arth ."Problems", albeit "not just ones that are little". These issues include trying to pin down one's sense of self in a fast-moving world, "Chasing it Down" and having a gi!lfriend who is reluctant to let herself go "Baby Don't Dance."

ChannelSurfing -JOE JOHNSON

CONTRIBUTOR

By the time you read this, HBO's contemporary Hollywood television show, Entourage, will have ended. You will have heard the Jane's Addiction Hot Hot Heat - "YVR" lyrics "My mind had been enabled in the memory you overflow wanna be Opening Hot Hot Heat's fourth stuyour super hero even if I tumble fall" dio album, Future Breeds, YVR holds for the last time. And you will know • true to their albeit ever fluxing style. how the show ends. But let's escape The post punkers recently dropped that melancholy feeling which many their first new album in three years. of the shows diehard fans are going With plenty of synth and guitar through for just a moment.

"YVR" a pleasant change from more Entourage started out with a bang. played Hot Hot Heat such as "GodAn instant success, it portrayed the dess on the Prairie." celeo/ltr world with a new insight.

Sure it exaggerated the reality, Kings of Leon - "Sex is on Fire" but it was also more genuine than nearly any other show on television.

In an interview, Nathan Followill ex- Originally based on Mark Wahlberg's plained that the band never intended (executive producer and occasional the song to· be named "Sex on Fire." guest star) early career, it quickly went "It was actually going to be 'Set Us on in its own direction under showrunFire,' but one of the sound mixers in ner Doug Ellin. If you were to just the studio walked in as we were playhear it from off in the distance, you ing and said, '"Sex on Fire," huh?' and might be led to believe that it was a it just kind of became a running joke, superficial show about money, women, and we stuck with it." "Sex on Fire" cars, the f-bomb, and weed. However, spent an unbroken 42 weeks on the that couldn't be further from the UK singles chart, only dropping out truth.It was a show of characters and due to the surge in sales of Michael the bonds between them.

Jackson titles immediately after his death,but after a two-week abse~ceit was back for another37 weeks, peaking at #6. It has reappeared on further occasions since.

\MIiEntourageget an encore?

The actorsbehind Vince (Adrian Grenier), "E" (Kevin Connolly), "Drama" (Kevin Dillon), "Turtle" (Jerry Ferrara), and Ari (Jeremy Piven), along with the rest of the

...

supporting cast, really gave e an likability to their characters. Connolly might be the only actor that had some negativity come his way, but they all · made the show a lot of fun to watch.

They .became very much like a family.

One staple of the show was the many, many guest appearances. Part of the reality of Entourage was based on seeing actors playing themselves.

Every season had a nearly countless number of actors enter the show, either making cameo appearances or for longer story arcs; just to name a

ew o em ere: e reen, ames Woods, Eminem, Mike Tyson, Martin Scorsese, Snoop Dogg, Gary Busey.Jamie-Lynn Sigler and Kanye West. The best, though, would have to be Bob Saget, Eric Roberts and Matt Damon.

While the last few seasons may have lost a little something, looking back it was a great ride. Some episodes really stand out in particular, such as when the boys went to Las Vegas where they run into Seth Green, Drama having a semi-homo-

erotic massage, and then the fight at the strip show. Another personal favourite was when they went to the desert at Joshua Tree National Park to eat some 'shrooms with Eric Roberts .

Thus it was a sad day for all when the very last scene was shot and the show finally wrapped on the 96th episode in season 8 and it's at the TV Critics Press Tour where the cast would all be together for only one more time. Kevin Connolly summed it up when he said, "I don't want to start crying."

That's enough oflooking back; it's 'time to look to the future. And the future is good. The truth is that it looks like Entourage may only really be done in its current form. There is a lot of momentum going forward for a movie to be made. Everybody involved with the show, Wahlberg, Ellin, and the cast, are sounding pretty optimistic that it is going to happen. In fact, Wahlberg has said that he would finance the film out of his own pocket ifhe had to. To caution this oplimism just a bit, though, it has been very rare for a movie to be developed from a TV show after it has ended, but right now all signs do · point to it getting green-lit.

While HBO has other great shows just beginning, Entourage is going to be joining a batch of stellar shows that have reached their conclusion. It will s~ely be missed. At least until the movie is released.

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 14th,2011

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www.ufvcascade.ca

FilmReview Contagion which also used an electronic score.

When a particularly loud, obvious The rule ~n Contagion is that if you're synthesized note is played in a moContagion is a movie marketed as a known name actor, you have to act ment of tragedy, the effect is opposite a disaster filled with big name actors as a surrogate for the audience, taking · to what a piece of music in a movie, at and high stakes. The end of the world. in and spouting info~ation very least a traditional one like Contagion, A virus that no one can get a handle slowly,but if you aren't, it's allowable should have. on. It opens with matter-of-fact to let loose with the jargon. While the Still, the recurring pulsations work population numbers and closes with science of a disease is not a topic that better than the dead weight that an earnest bit of text near the end of can be easily avoided in a movie so is Scott Z. Bums's script. Particuthe credits that reads·:"It's not if, but concerned with one, the inadequacy larly telling is that in the film's most when." of the script becomes immediately critical moments and its opening and It is with a similar straight-faced closing scenes, not a word is spoken. apparent every time Soderbergh falls intensity that the events of Contagion back qn his preference for dialogueThe disquietude of an absence of play out. A scattershot of cities about speeches in these moments is far free, music driven montages. These into be inhabited with death are filmed more effective than hearing supterludes better communicate the fear with a paranoid lens. Conversations posedly well-educated adults utter of the epidemic, whatever progress is between higher-ups in organizations being made to solving it (none), and phrases like: "Who should I call first?" trying to control things are staged in "Call eve.ryone,""Nobodyknows until the gravity of the situation. an inert, distanced manner. Electronic Over the course of the movie, these everyone knows," and some odd failed music by Cliff Martinez adds an sequences recur to the point that it attempts at humour that work against urgency to the events unfolding, but . seems Soderbergh and Martinez are the cold, distanced tone that Soderis also devoid of life. For all the digital overcompensating for the script's failbergh appears to be striving for. photography by Steven Soderbergh ings. The score, while a fine way to set Then there are the ideas of and A-list actors, there's nothing to the mood in the beginning, becomes conspiracy and how a widespread stand on. The script and story are intrusive the more it is used. While scare would play out with a world so brainless. the scenes in which it is present are connected through technology.Jude Early scenes showing disease conundeniably better than when dialogue Law's character features prominently trol meetings feature Kate Winslet, takes the stage, the beats become in this area of the story. He announces whose sole purpose in the movie is repetitious to the point of distraction, the supposed truth of his website fulfilled when she picks up a marker even worse than in this year's Hanna, and proclaims somewhat coherent and takes down notes to explain some

MICHAEL SCOULAR

terminology to people whose job it

THECASCADE is to know this as a second language.

FALL MOVI-E

PREVIEW

conspiracy eories yet · e most Hollywood movies that try to) sounds amusingly out of touch when trying to talk seriously about the effect of the internet and the way people connect on their views and reactions to · catastrophic events. Throwing around terms like "blogosphere" and "unique visitors" don't make a character sound intelligent.

Contagion as a present day, grounded disaster movie is a concept that is unoriginal, but not overused, and could have been the basis for a

ecent enoug piece o ment. But the movie never quite escapes the Andromeda Strain mold and fails to completely deliver on the ideas it puts forth. What Steven Soderbergh's latest ends up being is a half-hearted stab at the horrors of widespread information, paranoia, and the lack ofhufanity that comes with it. Contagion succeeds in establishing an uncomfortable vision of worldwide inevitability, then wastes away in mindless developments.

Killer Elite

Drive

The Lion King 3D

Tower Heist

September23, 2011 wide release)

September16, 2011 wide release In Drive, Ryan Gosling stars as

September16, 2011 wide release,for a two week period

November4, 2011 wide release

When his mentor (Robert De Niro) is taken captive, a retired member of Britain's Elite Special Air Service (Jason Statham) is forced into action. His mission is to kill three assassins driven by their leader (Clive Owen): A gold trio matchup. Jason Statham is one of the best action actors of today from 1he Tramporter, 1he Italian Job, Crank, Bank fob and Death Race. Clive Owen was excellent in the Children of Men, and Bourne Identity. Robert DeNiro has more than proved himself from such flicks such as Goodfellas to the comedic Meet the Parents and finally to the recent high-powered figure he played in Limitless. In Killer Elite there seems to be no eye candy; no female leading roles, or even any guys under the age of forty. The trailer shows a movie with the potential to be memorable and with the 'triple threat' of acting aptitude. It seems to be a movie that action lovers would appreciate.

BANZ CHAUHAN

Driver; stunt driver by day and steering getaway vehicles for armed heists by night. Driver falls in love with his neighbor who is dragged into the deadly underworld by her ex-convict husband. When a heist goes wrong, Driver has to protect Irene and her young son. Gosling has always impressed me with his emotional acting skills, from the romantic drama 1he Notebook to the drug-addicted high school teacher in HaifNelson. His best role thus far has to be Lars in Lars and the Real Girl in which he played a socially inept man who has a romantic relationship with a sex doll. In An Education, the way in which Carey Mulligan played such an innocent young girl seduced by an older man, proved her acting skills. From his days as the father in Malcolm in the Middle to his life as a drug cooker in Breaking Bad, I have been a fan of Bryan Cranston.

Christina Hendricks, too, has caught the jlttention of many as the fiery redhead Joan in Mad Men.

BANZ CHAUHAN

Hugo

The Artist

Young Adult

November23, 2011 wide release

November23, 2011

December9, 2011 limitedrelease;December16, 2011 wide release

limitedrelease;wide releasetentative

At first glance, the trailer for this seems to indicate Martin Scorsese has a misstep on his hands. Sacha Baron Cohen as a Keystone Kop, only less gifted in the physical comedy department, chasing two kids with something magical on their hands. Destiny awaits. In 3D. But some quick glimpses at the end of the trailer reveal that this is not all the movie will be. Nods to classic filmmaker Georges Melies in the imagery and casting (Ben Kingsley plays the famous director) paint this as another ode to past films that have defined Scorsese's career as much as his gangster pictures ( 1heAviator, My Voyageto Italy, his considerable aid towards restoring classics). While the trailer indicates a weighting toward the movie's broader aspects, this could just as likely be a marketing effort to downplay the allusions and shove crazy antics and actors young people can name to the forefront. It also stars Chloe Moretz, possibly the best child actor currently working.

While there are many other limited releases that look intriguing, (Take Shelter, Melaneholia, 1he Skin I Live In, Martha Marcy May Marlene, Carnage) 1he Artist, a silent, square-aspect-ratioed, black-and-white film, is the one with th,e greatest chance of actually playing here. Building off its win at Cannes and enthusiastic praise more recently at the Toronto International Film Festival, 1heArtist is being pegged as a possible Oscar nominee, always a good thing for distribution.

Director Michel Hazanavicius, most well-known for his French OSS 177 B.ond parodies, has made less a tribute to a time past than a movie more in common with Singin' in the Rain, which used silent movie techniques to tell a story of difficult transition due to unc<?ntrollable'change. In addition to .Cannes best actor Jean Dujardin, the movie's cast includes John Goodman, Malcolm McDowell, and James Cromwell.

Whlle Jason Reitman's last collaboration with Diab lo Cody, Juno, was equally unfairly praised (best of the year?!) and unfairly maligned (worst of the year?!), early reports indicate Young Adult, starring Charlize Theron as a teen fiction writer, is a return to the darker comedy of Reitman's first, and best, movie 1hank Youfor Smoking.

While I have yet to seen something written by Cody that can be praised unreservedly, this at least appears to be a shift away from the issue-driven drama that has·gradually overpowered Reitman's subsequent releases (Up in the Airs not too subtle commentary on the recession was unwelcome non-advice). Also, it features a decent supporting cast (JK Simmons, Patrick Wilson, Patton Oswalt).

MICHAEL SCOULAR

MICHAEL SCOULAR

MICHAEL SCOULAR

1he Lion King JD offers a kickback Tower Heist, a film about a group of to when Disney was making car- hard working guys who become victoons worth watching. Of course it's tims of a wealthy businessman's Ponzi a money grab - re-releasing an old scheme and they conspire to rob his movie in 3D can be nothing else - but high-rise residence, has a high potenat least they're using a masterpiece to .tial for a great action/ comedy flick. do it. 1he Lion King brought a whole Ben Stiller movies are usually comedic bunch of kids to tears, won an Oscar and this film could also be a bit of a and a Golden Globe, and introduced comeback for comedy legend Edsome pretty catchy songs that I still die Murphy after· the last few bombs hear people my age singing. Sched- he has had (with the exception of the uled for release on September 16, 1he Shrek movies).Tea Leoni really caught Lion King in 3D is clearly a bid, and my comedic attention in the hilarious probably quite a successful one, at that, side-splitting Fun with Dick and Jane to attract nostalgic adults as well as alongside Jim Carrey. And it would young children. also be· nice to see Gabourey Sidibe showcase her great talent instead of being typecast as something other than the obese, illiterate 16-year-old after her Oscar-winning role in Precious.

ANNE FRANKLIN

BANZCHAUHAN

Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows

The Adventures of Tintin

December16, 2011 SherlockHolmes: Game of Shadows, di-

December23, wide release

rected by Guy Ritchie and up for release on December 16, is the sequel to Ritchie's 2009 adaptation of Arthur Conan Doyle's stories. I'm not so sure Doyle would approve of the liberties taken with his writing, but the first movie was undeniably fun, and this too promises to be an enjoyable eyening's entertainment. Robert Downey,Jr. and Jude Law reprise their roles as Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson, respectively,and Jared Harris stars as the evil Professor Moriarty.Although probably not to be expected as an Oscar-winner, Game of Shadows still ought to gamer good reviews from anyone looking for a light-hearted couple hours of actionmystery fun.

ANNE FRANKLIN

1heAdventures ofTintin, to be released December 23, is the first movie in a trilogy adaptation of the well-loved comic books about the young Belgian journalist. Peter Jackson and Steven Spielberg team up for this production, each directing at least one film (Spielberg's got this first one). Produced using motion capture animation (by Jackson's own WETA Digital, of course), and starring Andy Serkis, Nick Frost and Simon Pegg, among others, Tinlin promises to be a highlight of the fall movie season. The preview looks superb, with enough attention paid to production values mingled with the style of the original comic books to bring the Tinlin series to life.

ANNE FRANKLIN

20

www.ufvcascade.ca

WEDNESDAY,SEPTEMBER14th,2011

UFVSPEIKS During the Back to School BBQ, The Cascade ran a contest asking students what they plan to do if they were tq invade the USA. We hand picked the best answers with care, and HERE ARE THE WINNERS! .

You are a top canadian general charged with invading -the USA. Success will bririg you immortal glory, failure will get you nuke.cl to radioactive grit. WHAT IS YOUR PLAN? Our Runner Up: Contestant #5 from Abbotsford BENLAI

I would, fatten them up and make them even lazier than they already are. Then when I invade them there would be no resistance.

Our Second Winner: Contestant #2 from Chilliwack KALEI.FRANKLIN Like, to take control of them?. Well I would perhaps e~ucate them first on what they're doing wrong. They second-guess themselves and set themselves up for failure ...I'd also teach them how to spread the love. Love and happiness conquers all. I would invade with love. ·

TI

OUR WINNER: CONTESTANT# 11 VeRONIQUE CARRieRE.

Do a secret attack of friendly Canadians, like 'we're awesome' and do that, and ... I don't know what kind of weapons we have, but try an _airattack. Trojan horse with a Canadian attitude.

'

.

WEDNESDAY,SEPTEMBER 14th, 2011

www.ufvcascade.ca

21

Heat RepOrt:ProspectsCamp SEAN EVANS THE CASCADE Its exam time for the Abbotsford Heat. The Calgary Flames, with whom the Heat find themselves affiliated, opened their 2011 prospects camp this past weekend. Thirty players are taking part in the week-long event: three goalies, nine defencemen and 18 forwards. l?layers began off the ice with fitness testing at the Scotiabank Saddledome in Calgary on Friday. Following an on-ice session in Calgary on Saturday morning, the festivities moved to the Okanogan for the Young Stars Tournament, which runs September 11th - 14th. The tournament will see the prospects face off agai.nst the rookies of the Vancouver Canucks and the Edmonton Oilers. Some notable Heat talent will try to make the jump to the NHL for the 2011-12 season.

Defenceman TJ Brodie is one such player. In the 2010-11 season, Brodie was an impact player for the Heat. An offensive defenceman, Brodie provided the Heat with 29 assists and a plus• three rating in 68 games. M.u•y of those points came on the power play, which Brodie quarterbacked from the blue line. Five-on-five, Brodie was paired with Christopher Breen and . the duo were consistently relied upon to shut down the oppositions' first line.

As a good puck moving defenceman with excellent skating abilities, all Brodie lacks is the size necessary to stand his ground in the NHL. At 6'1", Brodie weighs in at just 183lbs, not quite big enough to be a force in the defensive zone in an NHL game.

C-heerTea·m.Preview PAULESAU

THE CASCADE

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That said, there is a good chance that Brodie could be a member of the Calgary Flames at the outset of this season, which would be a great loss for the Heat. If not, Brodie will start with the Heat, and is likely the first defenceman to be called up to the Flames in the event of an injury.

Another player hoping to impress the Flames coaching staff is rightwinger Greg Nemisz. Playing in.his rookie season with the Heat last season, Nemisz finished fourth in scoring with 14 goals and 19 assists in 68 games. He so impressed former head coach Jim Playfair last season that he received time on the power play and penalty kill, scoring three short handed· goals and five more on the ppwer play. Nemisz also ·got to play with the big boys, recording one assist in six games with the Flames.

Known for his ability to bring the

puck to the net, his strong defensive play and his ability to play a two-way game, Nemisz, again, only lacks in size. Still, he has a chance of starting with the Flames this October.

He would, however, have to impress management enough to depose a current member of the Flames roster.

With salary-cap issues, the two-way contract to which Nemisz is signed could influence the decision made.

That said, Nemisz would likely benefit more from staying on with the Heat on the first or second line, rather than from playing five minutes a game on the fourth line with the Fla!Iles.

The Heat will wrap up the preseason on October 7th, playing the Lake Erie Monsters on the road.

The UFV Cheer Team is all set to start the new season under the leadership of head coach Brooke Ostendor£ This year they hope to continue performing at the Envision Athletics Centre during varsity games, as well as beginning to attend national competitions. The Cascade spoke with head coach Brooke Ostendorf about the coming year.

What can the team learn from last year? How can you build on last season?

Last year we didn't compete [at competitions] because of a lack of uniforms, because everyone was really new, and because the skill level was not there. This year we can learn the routine much earlier in the year (in October) and start practicing harder and more challenging skills.

What does a successful season look like this year? Any specific team goals?

A successful year would have the UFV Cheer: Team competing in two

local competitions. First is CheerFest, put on by Valley Stars Cheer Athletics at the EASC, and seco~d is the Sea to Sky competition in Vancouver: Our goal is to just go out and have fun, show the other teams what we are all a_bout,and, hopefully, do pretty good.

Any new recruits or rookies that you are particularly excited about?

We are always excited for anyone new joining our cheer family. So far though, I know of a few girls with cheerleading experience from club or high school teams that are interested in joining. As well, we've been approached by two girls who are gymnasts and have amazing tumbling [skill], which will help push our team to a higher level.

How can students· at UFV support the team?

Students who wish to support the UFV Cheer Team can come on out to the try-outs for the 2011-12 season.

Other students who are not interested in being on the team are more than welcome to come out to our first competition (Cheerfest) and cheer US on!

2011 - 2012 HOME SCHEDULES

Bateman Park (capacity: 1,000)

Envision Athletic Centre (capacity: 1,730) Women's start times shown. Men start 1 hr. 45 min. later.

Saturday, Oct. 8 & Sunday, Oct. 9

Women

Men

Friday, Oct. 21

CBC

7:45 p.m.

Saturday, Sept. 17 Saskatchewan

12:00 p.m.

2:15 p.m.

Saturday, Oct. 22

CBC

7:45 p.m.

Basketball

Sunday, Sept. 18

Alberta

12:00 p.m.

2:15 p.m.

Thur., Oct. 27

Envision Athletic Centre (capacity: 1,730) Women's start times shown. Men start 2 hours later.

Saturday, Oct. 1

Lethbtjdge

12:00 p.m.

cam cam

6:45 p.m.

Friday, Nov. 11

Manitoba

6:00 p.m.

Saturday, Nov. 12

Winnipeg

5:00 p.m.

Friday, Nov. 18

UBC-O

6:00 p.m.

Saturday, Nov. 19

UBC-O

5:00 p.m.

Friday Jan. 6

Calgary

6:00 p.ni.

Saturday, Jan. 7

Lethbridge

5:00 p.m.

Saturday, Jan. 28

TWU•

5:00 p.m.

Friday, Feb. 3

UBC

6:00 p.m.

S<1turday,Feb. 4

UBC

5:00 p.m.

•These games will be played at Abbotsford Entertainment & Sports Centre

<..._lif) canmnt

11

BCCAA

Victoria Sunday, Oct. 15

Regina

2:15 p.m.

12:00 p.m.

2:15 p.m.

UBC Sunday, Oct. 16

Manitoba

12:00 p.m.

TWU Saturday, Oct. 22 Sunday, Oct. 23

Victoria

Friday, Oct. 28

2:15 p.m.

12:00 p.m.

7:45 p.m.

Friday, Nov. 4

VIU

7:45 p.m.

Saturday, Nov. 5

VIU

2:45 p.m.

Friday, Nov. 11

Capilano

7:45 p.m.

Saturday, Nov. 12

Capilano

2:45 p.m.

Friday, Nov. 25

Camosun

7:15 p.m.

Saturday, Nov. 26

Camosun

1:45 p.m.

Lethbridge

2:15 p.m.

Friday, Jan. 6

Douglas

7:15 p.m.

Calgary

2:15 p.m.

Saturday, Jan. 7

Douglas

1:45 p.m.

For more information, call 604-557-4041 scan the QR code· or visit www.ufv.ca/ athletics

CCAA~ACSC ABBOTSFORD

UNIVE~oFTHEFRASERVALLEY

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 14th,2011

www.ufvcascade.ca

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WEDNESDAY,SEPTEMBER14th,2011

www.ufvcascade.ca

SportsYou'veNeverHeardOf: Major LeaHueEating Sean Evans THE CASCADE Many times a sport can cause one to ask, 'Is that really a sport?'

For me, it often comes down to one simple question; can you do it with a beer in one hand? Usually if alcohol is being consumed by the "athletes", there is more spectating than sporting going on. That said, there· are some sports that defy my attempt at a definition: golf, bowling, poker (still don't think it's a sport) and my favourite, competitive eating.

Competitive eating is quite simple: whoever eats the most, in a given time fram·e, wins. There are, however, some complexities to the sport. Yes. It is a sport. I defy you to eat 9.17 lbs of blueberry pie, hands . free, in eight minutes like Patrick Bertoletti did on July 28, 2007. Or how about 11 lbs of cheesecake in nine minutes, like Sonya Thomas did on September 26, 2004. Or 65 hard boiled eggs in six minutes, 40 seconds. Or 47 grilled cheese sandwiches in 10 minutes. And finally my favourite, how about you try eating 68 hot dogs and buns in 10 minutes, like Joey Chestnut did on July 4, 2009.

Clearly, competitive eating takes skill, determinatiop and a certain

degree of craziness. Although the sport requires preparation and practice, the lnternational Federation of Competitive Eating "strongly opposes and discourages home training of any kind." This is likely for legal reasons. In order to train for the sport, many strange and dangerous techniques are used. Through preparation, athletes aim to increase their stomach capacity and eating speed. Competitors often train by consuming large amounts of water in a:short period of time. This technique, although effective, is dangerous. Former competitive eater, Ed Jarvis, prepared for competition by eating entire heads of boiled cabbage and by consuming litres of water at a time. Less dangerously, many exercise their jaw muscles by chewing gum.

After months of stomach stretching preparation, Major League Eaters put it all on the line. Most events are over within minutes and all that lay between the athlete and international fame and glory is a large pile of food: hot dogs, cake, grilled cheese, and chicken wings, to name a few.

During those few moments of intense competition, Major League Eaters use a few eating techniques.

The "water dunk" is probably most

common. Competitors simply dunk their food, a hot dog for example, into a glass of water. The water softens the food, making it easier to chew and it also lubricates the food, allowing for easier swallowing. Another technique, invented by famous eater, Takeru Kobayashi, is referred to as "the Solomon." In order to do "the Solomon," the competitor simply breaks the hot dog in half and jams both pieces into their mouth at once. This technique allows more food to fit in the mouth at once, and dramatically increases speed.

All that said, most of the challenge of competitive eating is mental. Speaking with howstuffworks. com (a great website, by the way), competitive eater Eric Livingston spoke of the mental challenges that the sport involves and some of the misconceptions surrounding i:he sport: "Ironically, CE is mostly mental. You must have the discipli11e to regulate your calorie consumption in the days/weeks before and after a contest. Some people call CE gluttony, but Gluttony is the complete lack of discipline. This is highly controlled and is the opposite. Getting fat is no fun."

Well, it is a sport. And you too can compete, if you're up to the challenge.

New Jerseysfor New Jets-

Grace Romund CONTRIBUTOR _It was a sad day on April 28, 1996 when Winnipeg residents watched their NHL team, the Winnipeg Jets, play what they thought would be their last ever game as a Canadian team.

Nearly fifteen years later there remained a small group of ever-faithful Jets fans who believed that one day the Jets would return to their friendly prairie home even tli.ough as the years wore on the chances of that happening grew more and more unlikely.

And ,yet, that distant dream became a reality on May 31, 2011 when NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman announced that after a fifteen-year absence an NHL hockey team would be returning to Manitoba.

Last Tuesday, the Winnipeg Jets revealed their new jerseys for the· 2011-12 NHL season. Most jersey unveilings, as many sports fans would know, entail several of the team's players walking out on a stage in the new jersey and having their picture taken.

The unveiling· of the new Jets jerseys was far from t>rthodox as it took place on the tarmac of Winnipeg's 17 Wing Canadian Forces base. Instead of the hockey players walking out on a stage

in their new jerseys - they walked out of a Lockheed C-130 Hercules jet.

Military jets flew overhead and their pictures were taken with uniformed members of the Canadian Forces at their sides.

The unveiling was intended to illustrate the relationship between the Royal Canadian Forces and the NHL team. This was further emphasized by the new jerseys which feature Royal Canadian Air Force colours and, of course, a military jet. Additionally, the franchise has committed to donating significant funds to various military charities.

The Jets return to Winnipeg can be seen as a success not only for Winnipeg but also for professional hockey in Canada. The last NHL team before the Jets to be restored to a Canadian city was the Ottawa Senators in 1992.

In the two decades since, the future of NHL exp~nsion in Canada, a country known for its all-consuming love for hockey, has been grim. The citizens of Qyebec City still lament the day in 1995 when the Nordiques relocated to Colorado. The Winnipeg Jets relocation to Phoenix was the following year.

Argu~bly, the loss of those teams to the United States was not a reflec-

tion of Canadian fans losing interest in hockey, but rather, a reflection of which large corporations have the most money to spend on hockey teams. That said, a strong case can be made that the return of the Winnipeg Jets to Canada is, in fact, attributed to Canadians' overwhelming and enduring love for the sport. The Winnipeg Jets official website confirms that their 2011-12 NHL season tickets sold out within ·seconds and they capped the waitlist for tickets at 8,000. Apparently, hockey in Canada makes financial sense.

This change within the NHL has forced changes within the AHL as well. Winnipeg, previously home to the AHL team the Manitoba Moose, the Vancouver Canucks farm team - hence ticket sales soar every game the Moose play our hometown Abbotsford Heat. The former Manitoba Moose are now the St. John's IceCaps and will be the farm team to the Winnipeg Jets. The Canucks now have the AHL Chicago Wolves as their farm team for the 2011-12 NHL season.

The NHL will make its long awaited return to Winnipeg when the Jets play their season opener October 9 at the MTS Centre in Winnipeg against the Montreal Canadiens.

23

2011/2012 NFL season preview:Dark horseteams and playersto lookO(!t for

Balrai Dhllon CONTRIBUTOR Although the defending Superbowl champions, the Greenbay Packers, kicked off the start of the NFL season with a 42-34 win over the New Orleans Saints, most football fans don't recognize the start of the season until the Sunday of week one. During the summer many teams who missed out on the opportunity to play in the postseason last year have acquired key components toward a better shot at the Superbowl this season. On the flip side, some teams who were fortunate enough to be playing last January may not make it back there. Many things have changed since the end of last season.

Most notably is that Payton Manning, quarterback for the Indianapolis Colts, will likely miss the season due to a back surgery he underwent in the offseason. The Cofts have been a top contender for the championship in each of his thirteen seasons in Indianapolis. Look for the Houston Texans to knock the Colts off their throne in the AFC South division.

The Philadelphia Eagles, selfproclaimed as "The Dream Team" by recently acquired back up ® Vince Young, had a busy offseason of acquiring skilled players. Most importantly, the Eagles rewarded @ Michael Vick with a $100 million contract extension. The highly entertaining and prolific offente under head coach Andy Reid should look no different than last season as all the starters are returning, including star receiver DeSean Jackson.

The Eagles defence, and more specifically, their secondary, is what will make the difference in winning ball' games. With the acquisitions of CB Nnamdi Asomugha and DominiqueRodgers Cromartie, who are both top five players for their position in the league, the Eagles secondary on paper looks to be the toughest to play against. When you add in the fact that they also brought in DE Jason Babin, it's hard not to feel sorry for the offensive co-ordinators who have . to develop game plans to tackle this defence.

The New England Patriots out of the AFC East division hope to make a strong push for the Superbowl. The team out of Foxboro, Massachusetts have kept their core intact, which went 14-2 last season and brought in former Pro- Bowl DT Albert ldaynesworth and WR Chad Ochocinco.

Head coach Bill Belichick is hoping that Ochocinco will draw double cov-

erage, much like Randy Moss did in '07, and thereby allow Wes Welker and Deion Branch much more space to catch underneath routes and get yards after• catch. Albert Haynesworth, formerly one of the best defensive tackles in the league, has had two rough seasons in Washington where he clashed regularly with head coach Mike Shanahan. Belichick plans to utilize Haynesworth in short yardage and running downs, as he and fellow Pro-Bowl DT Vince Wilfork can hopefully clog up the line of scrimmage, creating a nightmare for any running back in the league.

The NFC South division will be an interesting one to keep an eye on all season as The Atlanta Falcons, ~ew Orleans Saints, and Tampa Bay Buccaneers all won games by double digits. The front-runner to win the division looks to be the Falcons, who drafted highly sought after WR Julio Jones to give their young @ Matt Ryan another reliable target next to WR Roddy White. Although the Saints drafted Reisman Trophy winner RB Mark Ingram out of Alabama, their defence doesn't match up to that of the Falcons, or the "Tampa 2" defence of the - Buccaneers. The Packers also exposed the holes in the Saints defence on route to scoring 42 points on them.

The NFC West division, easily the least entertaining in the league, will likely once again come down to the last game of the season to determine the division winner. The St. Louis Rams saw great potential in last year's first overall pick, ® Sam Bradford, to keep him as their starter along with RB Steven Jackson. The Cardinals acquired @ Kevin Kolb with a steep price tag, but they will at least have a legitimate starting ® able to win games for them. Unfortunately, the offensive line won't be able to protect him long enough. The Seahawks brought in@ Tavaris Jackson and WR Sidney Rice from the Vikings, the only question is whether the defence can stop opposing teams from running up the score.

Predictions: AFC East: New England. AFC West: San Diego.

AFC North: Baltimore. AFC South: Houston. NFC East: Philadelphia. NFC West: Arizona. NFC North: Green Bay.NFC South: Atlanta.

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STILL UP! September 19 - ABBO at the Abb_otsford .Campus The • At the UFV ORIENTATI :rreen

• Get your.2011-2012 SUS Handbook or go to -tnobile.ufvsus.ca on your SmartPhone to get ON• APP! .

• Check out your SUS H·ealth 'and ·

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• Come get your I

• VisitAft~rf\1athsocial house restaurant

on Abbotsford

your . ~m. @t@] Campus - in tl?li@ ~ ·

• Join - or start - a Student OrganizatioR!

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