The Cascade Friday, April 8th, 2011 Volume 19 Issue 12

Apologizingto thespians since 1993

www.ufvcascade.ca

FRIDAY,APRIL 8th, 2011

~

1

e reSor

ent Wewerewrong .....

, pg~2

. UFV Student . . Research Day !!II"-.~._,_., pg. 3 ~

~~

.

.

2

THE CASCADE

FRIDAY,APRIL 8th, 2011

Official Retraction

Votume19 • Issue 12 RoomClO..,., H Kin• I oad Abboaford BC V S- l

In the April 1; 2011 edition o{The Cascade (Volume 19, Issue 11), we ran an article in our Opinion section entitled, "UFV Theatre Department steals from studen~s," by Staff Writer Jennifer Colbourne. It has come to our attention that som~ of the claims made in the article were neither properly researched nor substantiated. The circumstances surrounding the casting of Glen Pi_nchon-- who portrayed Prospero in the UFV production of The Tempest-- were misrepresented by our reporter. yve regret any damage this may have caused to the reputation of the UFV Theatre Department or the actor himself. Ms. Colbourne has offered an apology below and The Cascadewould like to retract the artcile in its entirety.

Editor-In-Chief

- The Cascade Editorial Board

Jed@ufYCaSCade.ca

JedMinor

UFV Theatre: a closer·look

ProductionManager productlon@~.ca

RandomBushl:ll ,

PAUL ESAUstudents and community per- was a currently registered theatre isn't the case. The person was SPORTS EDITOR formers" (from the Theatre De- student, registered in an acting invited to audition, but that, you partment Procedures) provides class or a theatre course. The only know, lots of times people are in- . he opinion article "UFV The- an integral part of a theatre stu- exception was Prospero, played vited to audition." An invitation atre Department Steals From dent's education. "[They] bring by Glen Pinchin, but '[Pinchin] to audition, Kirkley co_!lsequently Students" in last week's publica- a lot of knowledge and skill that is a graduate of the [UFV The- explained, does not guarantee tion raised some questions about . they pass along to our students," atre] program and. is still a UFV that one will be casted in any role. the casting practices of the UFV argues Kirkley, whc:i is adamant student.

He's graduated from He also asserts that UFV TheTheatre, and particularly in the both that the students benefit the program but he does come atre is not alone in its practice of -casting of this year's production from such mentorship and that back and qo courses from time to casting from outside its own stuof The Tempest. Although certain the impact upon students' oppor- time." dent population: · elements of the article were, un- tunity to perform is negligible: · According to Kirkley, part of .

"There are many, many unifortunately, inaccurate, the <:entral "If you look at our produc- the decision to cast Mr. Pinchin versity theatre programs right query concerning the participa- tion seasons year after year after was based upon the Theatre De- • across the country whose audition of non-students in university year, and you look at the number partment's commitment (as stated tions· are open to the entire uniproductions is both relevant and of people who are current acting in the Department Procedures) to versity community and to the valid. Why are members of the students, currently registered in casting roles "to the appropriate outside community as well. . It larger community given oppor- theatre courses, who are cast, I age range" where possible. The doesn't mean that their objective tunity to compete against tuition- mean the percentage of students . fact that other mature characters ii?to try to shut out the students ... paying students for roles in UFV cast compared to those who are in the play were portraye'd by stu- it's just-that part of the education plays? Why was Glen Pinchin, not [stud1;mts]is well over ninety dents is not a contradiction, but . experience you're going to have allegedly a non-student, awarded percent. When someone who is - instead a pragmatic choice. Kirk- as someone who has the opportu- · the leaditrg role of Prospero in The a graduate of the program, or a ley freely admits that "to do [oth- nity to be cast in a show is to work Tempest? Is UFV indeed unique faculty member, or a commu_nity erwise] would take parts away with people who have that kind in this practice, or do other uni- member is cast, they are the ex- from students who are currently of experience." versity theatre programs cast from ception." registered in the program, so you Consequently, Kirkley is conoutside their student body as well?

Kirkley also e?Cplained that have to balance it out." He also fused ·by the suggestion that his ·According to UFV Theatre of the nineteen roles cast in his denies the suggestion that Mr. depa:rtment is "stealing" , f:t:om Department Head Bruce Kirk- · production of The Tempest, only Pinchin was not required to audi- UFV's Theatre students. " Our ley, who also happened to direct one was filled by an individual tion the part of Prospero, sug- students are the whole reason we last month's production of The not enrolled in a UFV class this gesting "the implication coming exist!" he protests, "they are the Tempest, the "blended casting of semester. He claims that "every across ... is that the person didn't center of everything we do!" students, staff, faculty, graduate single cast member in the show even audition for the role, which

Production Scott Varga

T

£or

Copy-Editor Oms Bon.shoe

NewaEdltor atexOufvcacadua Al

Wackw

Sports Editors joel@ufvcascade.ca JoelS,n.a.n

eaauelurw:aac:ade.ca Paul&au

Opinion Editor sophte@ufvcascade.ca SQphie lsbi ter

OnlfneEditor onllneeditor@ufvcascade.ca N1ek Ubds

Distribution Speciallst J ck Bro n

Writer's Apoiogy

Staff Writers AJi .Sit"mens

J To those affected by my article, I deeply regret the hurt and anger I have caused UFV, the Theatre Depar~ment and stu. dents. I am accountable for making sure my facts are 10? per cent

accurate, and it is to my great shame and embarrassment that I so misrepresented UFV Theatre.

I also sincerely apologize for the tone of the article, which was unnecessarily aggressive and accu-

satory. In the future, I will cease from making further critic~sms of UFV plays or the Theatre Department. I am truly sorry for all the unnecessary pain I may have · caused anyone by iny thoughtless

nrufer Colliou.tne C::helseaThornton

words, and wish only the best to our ever hard working and dedicated Theatre Department and students.

Sincerely, Jennifer Colbourne

Tn:~l)r Amy I ttO Karen Ancy

Contributors

ah Kin!,"!lton :an E ns

8e1h t"ltl.ll Al xandra h, w ha foedt

Printed By I ebl: p

t rnauon

111&: (~asl/tV',.-,tnnclf11< ... snp,nl ""'"JllllPCI It pmvidt'I ~ fonF> for lJW 5hJ.lrrt5 lo hw,c1bcirj;unah:sm pitilishc,.JIt 111,,n11.·l!I &lll:mltiw f'ttSSfat the J,<ra;cr½ IL'\. Iii!

81!1 att

Cn1ide i ftftled with L 'I.' don! fu b,. n,.

Oocade i!t pubtishxl eve!) Frid1v"ttb ft ci1n:4aoor, .:i 1:rotl1111£1 IS <islrtbuh.'d& llfV L..ll'l'f'"' lttd rhr.•:uAt,t,:11.,r"n.1. n ...m,.:,;,->:, ~r: aion Tho Cascadei• a n1rm~ '1f Im CaiaiillD l 11vi,n11y PN!&s.an.u,:iml c,I',~ 1w.-enity811<1 oollrg,,-~ rs rJTJm Via,:ri, 1c> Jctm's The Cascadefoll ,,:1111' rll «!!lea! f<Ul) <»"-'lffun~ n:..urial, a prrj..,ile.11! ,,r

.,,.,..JIJ,e

opj:ffllSi,·.IJ¥!R Submisaiotlllan- in,f~ m ck<1l'OOIC rocllllll lhn.>U{!hefflilil, Pie.~ I ~ut:nni · lftl in·· 1 ,..

Cl'~ d:ic'' fCfflllll ooh Anidcs ot>:Ilctrtn IO iji,: edfll..lf ,;lli<l be I~ i:u:J. l1v.:(:w.:....Ji; n: llzl n!,ht rv ruit l,mi, ~£(11' d.ui!} ...J ~h 1 l1L"""'lc " ILnot print tw1) ltllide:.< thnt in racis:. 11e:ist, hocnapld,k ot litidlcw t,1t,1c111.'Oic " LT'.,, .. uc and iu<-nltwmlut-., !Ubniu.d " th e;rh suhmasloo u,ti.cr.; IQ the CUlnrm br ~ Z50wordsIf 1111Cndcd for pri.!11.

On! •Ot,c lcu.:,to rh<~~ .. I""wrik:r In1u,:,,g,, m ;&ti,.,.

OpjniQl\!i~I de.,noc~lllri co;J. 1 lJl-V.~ 'lllil and wlta,-,, -e,nr al<d meml'w.<.

FRIDAY.APRIL ~th. 2011

3

THE CASCADE

UFV Student Microlectures directed study under his supervision. The title of her research was "'Enemy Aliens' and 'Conchies': Perceptions of the 'Un-British' in the Fraser Valley, 1939-1946."

"I think it is important to understand my community, where I have come from, and the experiences of my ancestors," Siemens said of her work. "My grandfather, who was a conscientieius objector, grew up in the Fraser Valley and worked in a CO Camp, and it has been very interesting learning more about how the war affected him and his closest friends · and family. Most historical works on the Canadian experience during the Second World War have focused on broader political, economic, social, cultural, or military themes, whereas ni.y research looks at the experience of the averOcean or Kelsey Siemens's consid- live in these conditions. It also age Canadian on the home front." eration of the power of the news- showed me how complicated it Siemens explained that knowledge can be to work with street girls, of this kirid of local history can aspaper in affecting citizens during and as much as a simple answer sist in better understanding the World War II to Angela Ostrikoff's work with street children in Dar es is wanted, it is next to impossible formation of a community's idenSalaam, Tanzania, · to get one; having said that, seeing tity; her research has specifically Ostrikoff, a sociology and ge- one life changed positively fills focused on how c;onstructions of ography major who spent time in you with enough hope to ke~p on race manifested themselves in the · Fraser Valley.

Tanzania and Kenya last semester chasing after solutions."

Siemens echoed Ostrikoff's with professor Cherie Enns, said "Oral history is relevant," said VFV has been supportive of her Ostrikoff of the importance of her praise of UFV in supporting sturesearch, "because not everyone dent research: "The University work and that the microlectures has been incredibly supportive of are an example of that. "EUFV) will travel to see street children, has allowed me the opportunity. but they can all be moved by their my work. I am very grateful that t0_be a part of this internship [in stories and compelled to donate or I have been able to have access to the Centre for Social Research Tanzania1 thus allowing me to support organizations that are." lab, where I utilize a brand new gain valuable life and career exSiemens is a history student perience," she explained, add- who is currently working as a micro-reel scanner to conduct my · research assistant to· Dr. Scott research. In addition, Dr. Shefing: "It affected me by allowing me to closely know girls who Sheffield, as well as completing a field (and other history professors

PAUL FALARDEAU ARTS& LIFEEDITOR ne of the key distinguishing features between universities and other post-secondary insti. tutions is their dedication to the · research of faculty and students.

The UFV lecture series, for one, highlights some of the interesting and timely research professors in every department are· conducting, and their recent set of "microlectures" expanded on those talks.

Thursday, March 31 held even more opportunity to see the kind of research happening at UFY, with the unveiling of another set of microlectures. Perhaps more excitingly, this time around the focus is on student work.

"Microlectures" are short summaries of research; they are given over the cour~e of three minutes for students - one minute longer .than professors are allotted. In this short duration, the student on the stage is expected to introduce their work and present their methods, findings, and conclusions on their subject.

Millly disciplines were represented at this year's Microlectures - held in the study area at the Roadrunner Cafe - incltJ.ding biology, chemistry, history, sociol-. ogy, philosophy, criminology, and more. Student's research· topics ranged far and wide, from Myles Lamont's study of homology between white-~aced · whistling ducks separated by the Atlantic ·

O

UFVlearnsab~ut-_home ownership

Studentto fill UFV'sEmptyBowls

CHELSEA THORNTON STAFF WRITER ne thing students might not typically learn in class i:, how to buy a house. Fortunately, UFV organized a First Time Home Buyers Seminar on Thursday March 31 to help remedy that. Realtor Oarence Jensen, mortgage broker Paul Carman, and financial planner Rudy T~ichrob greeted a large crowd with information packets and cupcakes. The seminar covered the home-buying process step by step, and Jensen encouraged all prospective buyers to "Break it down into ma~ageable parts."

According to th~ hosts, the first step in the process is getting preapproval on a loan. Carman emphasized that pre-approval is not final approval; what it is actually is a budgeting tool that tells home hunters what price range to target. Thy amount of the approval is determined by an assessment of assets, liabilities, and credit references.

The specialists- emphasized the importance of a good realtor - actually called a buyer's agent, if one is buying instead of selling a home. A buyer's agent should provide customers with loyalty, experienee, knowledge, full disclosure, negotiation assistance, and r-ecommendations for other home buying-related services. They also · recommended that p,rospective homeowners work with only one agent, and go to them with any listings or open houses that they_ wish to investigate. · There are four types of property ownership: freehold, strata lot, cooperative, and lease. Carman

O

I have worked with) have been very willing to work through my findings and scattered thoughts in order to form some sort of comprehensive argument. Dr. Sheffield . has-also contacted local facilities, like The Reach, in order for me to gain access to archival material for my research. I am enjoying being able to delve into archival records· and draw my own conclusions."

For Myles Lamont, whose research will "clarify the taxonomic status of the White-faced Whistling Duck and will determine if this species needs to be reclassified" research at a small university is "easy" and provides opportunity to work closely with faculty._ Although. he admits being a smaller institution can lead to hard times getting funding, he has faith in his and research,of which he says, "it has been one of the most educational courses I could have taken since I am more or less fully responsible for both undertaking the·research and seeing it through to completion ...l could undertake .a similar project with little to no help in the workplace or at grad school."

Afterwards,. the event continued in Bl21 with a science-fair style poster exhibition of research by students. Some students ex-. hibited their work at both venues, while others focused only on speaking or a poster display, but both events were well-attended by staff, faculty, and students alike with an encouraging mix in the audience.

· go to the food bank, we pick up the JENNIFER COLBOURNE

STAFF WRITER food, and we bring it back here. So... what's happening is there's all this espite last year's cancellation,the stuff going out but not a lot of sj:tili highly successful Empty. Bowls going in [to the food bank]...Thisis a way for Empty Bowls to give back." project is officiallyreturningto UFv. Students volunteer their time to Self-describedas "an international grassroots effort to fight hunger;' make and decorate ·the clay bowls the premise is quite simple; accord- at U-house. They are then glazed, ing to emptybowls.net "Potters and filled with soup and sold for $10 at other craftspeople, educators" and the Empty Bowls dinner. KyleNadaothers work with the community to lin, a Student Life work-study, decreate handcrafted bowls. Guests are scribed his experience as "fantastic. invited to a simple meal of soup and ·Youget your hands into that wet clay bread. In exchange for a cash dona- and make bowls and you know that recommended atten;1.pting to find · have a job letter, two pay stubs, tion, guests are asked to keep a bowl 'it's helping the community. at large. a home that falls into one of the three months of bank statements, as a reminder of all the etl).ptybowls Some of us have made four, five, six first two categories. Freehold is the and tax forms. Once approved, it is in the world The money raised is do- bowls...once you get an idea how it'ti most common type of ownership, time to choose between a variable nated to an organization working to done it doesn't take as long per bowL and means that the owner has full or fixed rate mortgage. Typically, end hunger and food insecurity:' People can spend as little as 15 to 20 use and control of the property. a buyer will save money with a The project is set to return due to minutes on a bowl or as much as an A strata lot is a share of common variable mortgage, but a fixed the efforts of UFV student Nakita hour, it depends how much effort property, and therefore property mortgage can offer peace of mind Nolan In the previous year, she ex- you want to put into it."

With only a few weeks to go until rights are limited by Strata bylaws, through prime fluctuations. plained, Student Life couldn't host rules, and regulations. It is very One of the options presented the event "because they didn't have the dinner, Student Life has already important when buying a strata lot to those mortgaging homes is anybody to do it, [and] they wanted a almost reached its goalof ninety to check the financial health of the mortgage ,insurance, so that if. a [student] organization to take·on the bowls. Remaining bowl-making and decorating sessions are on April 11 strata, since repairs and upkeep buyer dies before paying off the project." to the property will be paid with mortgage, his/her family will not Student Life ended up faced with from 1-4p.m., April 14from 4-6 p.m., strata money. be left to foot the bill. Teichrob the same problem again this year, but and there is a final decorating-only After finding a property to strongly· suggested buying per-· Nolan wasn't about to let the project session on Mon Ap!il 18 from· 1-3 buy, the next step is making an sonal life insurance worth the go. As she is currently helping at Stu- · p.m. All who are interested are more offer to purchase. The documents value of the · mortgage instead. dent Life as a social work practicum than welcome to come help; as No'.. required for this include the pur- This .way,.the money is paid out to student, taking on this type ofproject Ian asked: "Why not volunteer a half chase details, aeposif-amoiliif,. 7ne nomeowner's family,· not the was righrup·neralley.Nolan spe- hour of your time .tomake a footprint dates of completion, adjustment, · bank, and the value of the policy cifically mandated in her practicum in your community?"

With nearly all the bowls finished, possession, and subjects. Subjects does not decrease as the mortg~ge to build the univ~ty community, are items such as financing, home is paid down. and she believes that Empty Bowls howev~ what's most important to inspection, insurance, title search, The seminar ended with advice would be "the best way tobringUFV Nolan now is that students·come out property disclosure, and strata for those considering a career in together as a unit in order to help the to support the event itself.The Empty documents, and the subjects must real estate or mortgages. For either [Abbotsford]food bank," which is to Bowls Dinner is set to take place on Thursday, April 21 at 4:30p.m. (doors be removed before the deal goes career, the group suggested, devel- receive the proceeds of the eveht through. op a background in working with According to Nolan, the reason open- at 3:30 p:m..)at U-house. TickSay the sellers have accepted the · people, then go to UBC and take why Abbotsford food bank was cho- ets, which are $10and include both a offer. Now the future homeowner the appropriate program. These sen is because ''We have lots of stu- meal and a bowL are available at the must wor!,<out financing- namely, jobs are about "the joy of helping dents [who] can't afford food, so they U-house front desk, but will be sold the mortgage. To do this, one must people get where they want to be." come to Student llie - and then we at the door as well.

D

THE CASCADE

4

What's new on the

'wack beat

FRID}\Y,APRIL8th, 2011

CareerCentre--=jObsearch

When creating your resume, it's helpful to keep a masrer ropy that inSTAFF WRITER CONTRIBUTOR cludesall your education,certifications, he semester may be winding l A Tithsummer fastapproaching, the and job ~ Then,for eachjob you down, but here at Chilliwack V V job-searchpanic is feltevenmore apply foi;.pick and choose the items Campus Centre things are just stronglyby students with everypassing most applicableto the job description. · heating up! From politics to parday. Amxding to the Career Centre, Thistakes a littlemore time than printties, University of the Fraser Valoneof themost commonquestionsstu- ing up 30 oopies of one resume and ley .Student Life is presenting a dents haveis how to make their retail spending an afternoon handing them number of exciting events to disexperience appealing to potential em- out; but you'lltharik yourselfwhenthat tract you from the stress of your ployers in other fields - after all, many childcarejobyou appliedfor doesn'tsee final papers and exams.

3 p.m. on Wednesday, April 13 at day, April 19 when UFV Student of us have plentyof experiencefolding '~ Porn Star'' in your work his.

Your last chance to help shape Campus Centre for Martin's mar- Life hosts its federal election de- jeans or manningthe deepfryer.The tQry. the clay for the Empty Bowls proj- velous mocktails, tropical tunes, bate in the Chilliwack theatre. Dis- question,then, is how: to turn that retail One thing to remember when deect was held at a drop-in session and festive food. The best part is cussion ~ill be student-focused, experienreinto viable fodder for a pro- ciding what work experienceto use is including hot topics like· post-sec- fes.5ional last week. Those artists will be that it's free! resume thatvolunteeringoounts.Yes,}'Oll.did it able to ·decorate ·their bowls .on Think you're the UFVWii sports ondary education, transportation, Crystal Drouillard of the Career out of the goodnessof your heart- but Wednesd;:i.y,April 13 from 10:00 champion? Let the games begin! and environmenta1 sustainability. Centrehad some tips to offer-Students if you're selling-daffodils for the Canaa.m..to 3:00 p.m. at Campus Cen- Our Weekend Wii Tournament Questions should be submitted attemptingto bulk up their resume for dian Canrer Society,you learned-how tre. The Empty Bowls project is an will be held Friday night, April 15, by Friday, April 15 to desmond. ·a jobsearchbeyondtheretailfield.First, to deal with fresh flowers,didn't you? annual initiative at UFV. The pro- at Campus Centre. You must reg- devnich@ufv.ca, via Twitter @ she suggested,whenwriting a resume, That's a skill that's practicallyrequired . cess is simple: students, staff, and ister with desmond.devnich@ufv. UFVstudentlife or over the phone make sure your descriptions are dy- of entry-levelgrunts these days.-why administration come together to ca ahead of time and bring $5.00 at 604-792-0025 extension 2509. namic.Don'tjustropy and pastethejob hirea gardener whenyou can send the mold clay into handcrafted bowls. to cover the cost of snacks, drinks, There will be an index card pro- description-use verbsto describewhat new kid out between roffeeruns?

Student Life's Martin Kelly then and a pancake breakfast. Be sure vided to each attendee for press.- you did Terms like 'maintained' and When outlining your retail experifires the bowls in the kiln and to bring pillows, blankets, and a irig questions to be written on and 'organized,'whiletheymay seemto be ence,be sure to mentionany instances participants then get to decorate competitive at!itude. We~ll have passed to the moderator during overstatingthemonotonyof yourmini- whenyou've gone ~ and beyond those bowls.· On 'fhursday, April six couches, plenty of food, music, the evening. UFV ~tudent Life.has mum wagegig, make you look like a the typicaljob ~ Yourpo21, Student Life will host an Emp- and the big projector screens for invited all candidates to mingle more responsiblecandidate. fur those tentialbossmayhave83 applicantswho ty Bow;lscommunity dinner at U- all your gamingneeds. with their constituents following of you who haven'tbeen to an English haveworl<edatSl:atbucks,but you may UFV's very own Darren Blake- the· debate while refreshments classin a while,the Career Centrehas betheonlyonethatrou1did.entifyevery house. Choose one of the unique bowls, enjoy the soup and buns borough 'will be acting as the are served. You have a voice - use an entire list of action words that are beanbysmell-makeyourself stand out meal, and take home the bowl as superintendent in an outstand- . it! Diane Janzen, Mark Strahl, Ja- perfectfor a resume.Yourretail expe- anywayyou can. a "reminder of all the empty bowls ing production of The prowsy mie Hoskins, Gwen O' Mahony, rience may not directlyqualifyyou for Finally,make sure to use your Ca- . in the world. Your donation at the Chaperone at the Chilliwack Cul- Clive Edwards, and Dorothy Jean someof thejobs you'reapplyingfoi;.but reer Centre 1heycan helpto tailor a retural Centre this month. Set in the O'Donnell -will all be in atten- if you highlightthe responsibilitiesyou sume, have great samples availablefor community dinner will be tiven had.as a nightmanager at McDonald's you to model your work after, and can to the Abbotsford Food Bank, an decadent world of the 1920's, this dance. · · organization that supports many Broadway musical is sure to get A!eyou studying at Chilliwack your potentialbosswill realize you're evengothroughamockinterviewwith of the hungry students on campus. many laughs. Tickets are available campus or at the Trades and Tech- · obviouslycapableof handlinga ~you.Furthermore. theysometimes have · School is almost out for the at www.chilliwackculturalcentre. nology Centre this sumi;ner? Do tude of differenttasks whilemaintainclose relationships with potentialemyou have a fun event idea? Contact ing a pleasantdining experiencefor the ployersthroughthe Co-opprograms. summer and Student Life in Chill- ca or 604-391-SHOW. Your Member of Parliament desmond.devnich@ufv.ca to make typical nocturnal characters,~ Translation?'P'teY iwack is thr~wing a Summertime knowwhat youneed - Hawaiian Mocktails Party to cel- candidates of Chilliwack-Fraser it happen. an appointand insomniac students/all avbnce -/ to sayto get thejob.To~ andthat's~ · I I ment,visitwww.ufv.ca/Jobs.htm. ebrate. Join us between 10 a.m. and Canyon go head to head on Tues-

KAREN ANEY

DESMOND DEVNICH

T

Profs fightsensationalizing ofJapan disaster

Scams targetting landlords onthe rise

Anyone looking torentorsublet theirapartment Professors arMcGill University andConcordia willwanttobeawareofanoverpayUniversity areworking totranslate Japanese media thissummer mentscamcatching potential landlords bysurprise. coverage oftherecent disaster inthecountry to receive anemail- comsupplement major gapstheyseeinmainstream Inthisscam,landlords fromsomeone claiming toliveinEnglana Western mediacoverage.

Theybelieve thatWestern monly - froma potential tenantlooking fora reporting onJapan's tripledisaster - earthquake, orAfrica placetostay,explained Glenn Matthews, a housing tsunami andnudearaccident -was crippled by forFanshawe Co0ege andtheUniversity of a lackofpreparedness andjournalistic resources officer Western Ontario, bothinLondon, Ont. • inJapan.

Theconsequences ofwhich havebeen "Once theygetsomeone responding tothem,the a reporting stylefromsomemedia outlets that [potential tenant]offers payment andsendseither sensationalizes andgeneralizes theJapanese exora money orderfor•••a significant perience.

"Partoftheinitial problem wasthatthey a cheque overthemonthly rent:' wanted toreportonthisevent,buttheydidn'thave amount The.potential tenantwillthen"almost immedianyone whocould speakJapanese, sothenthey start,youknow, madly scrambling around looking ately" realize theysenttoomuchmoney andask torefund theexcess amount, said forpeople andtheypkkedreally strange people," thelandlord saidThomas Lamarre, a professor InMcGill's depart- Matthews.

Thelandlord wiresback theexcess viaa recognized money service, suchas mentofEastAsian Studies.

TheideaoftheJapanese money Union. asstoic, orha~ing samurai-like qualities, surfaced Western Whatthelandlord doesnotknowisthatthe ea~yinstories suchasABC's "Nudear samurai cheque ormoney orderwasfraudulent, recalls meltdown struggle" ortheMelbourne Herald original andthatheorshejustwiredthescamartistmoney Sun's "Japan nuclear crisis: 'Atomic samurai not straight outofhisorherpocket. afraid todie:'Reducing theJapanese experience to Cpl.Louis Robertson oftheCanadian Antidiches overshadows important issues andtrivializes RCMP Fraud CallCentre ...saidthisisnota newscam. thesignificance oftheindividual's experience, Wedida lotofprevenexplained Lamarre.

"Itgivesyouthishugedistance, "Wesawa surgein2006-07. butunfortunately, thiskindofmastery ofknowledge.

Itobjectifies tiononthatkindofscheme, finding waystousefraudul~nt • people, ittakesrealcourage andtransforms itinto badguysarealways cheques anyway thattheycan,"he said. national narrative,"he said. • Mari Galloway-The McGill Daily (McGHI University)

Researchers linkunemployment to longer life

breakupanti-tuition protestin Cruelty lawtightened afterCanada Police Montreal sleddogdeaths

Despite theapparent downsides tounemployment. Theprovince ofBritish Columbia vowed a cracktwoWilfrid Laurier University professors havefound downonanimal cruelty onTuesday thatit hopes "black eye"ittook thatunemployed Canadians mayinfactlivelonger. willhelperasetheinternational ofsleddogs.

Hideki Ariizumi andTammy Schirle oftheuniversity's overa massslaughter rejected callstobantheincreasingly economics depa~ havecompiled astudybased Butofficials popular industry ofsleddogstoursoftheback onover 30years ofdata.Thestudy willappear in country, saying mostoperators givebettercareto a report bytheCanadian Labour Market andSkills theirvtorking dogsthandomanypetowners.

Researcher Network nextmonth. launched a review oftheindustry "The project wasactually doneveryquickly,"SchirleTheprovince anditsanimal cruelty lawsinJanuary afterthe said.According toSchirle, thetwohadalready been rliscovery that100dogswereshottodeathand working onaproject examining theconelati911 befween unempl(l'fment andmortality. buriedina massgraveneartheskiresortvillage ofWhistler, northofVancouver.

"Noonehadtouched ontheCanadian side'!et," ThedogswerekilledinApril 2010shortly after Ariizumi said.

When thepairdiscovered this,they theWinter Olympics ended,whenanexpected turned theirattention specifically toCanadian intourism bookings failedtomaterialize statistks.

Schi~e andAriizumi found thatduring times increase ofrecession, mortality ratesofmiddle-aged Canadiansandthetourcompany allegedly decided itwas tooexpensive tomaintain theanimals. were exceptionally low. willadopttherecommendation When asked toidentify acause, theprofessors named Theprovince · thatthemaximum penalty foranimalcruelty, numerous factors. pets,befncreased toa fineof($75,000 "People [have] fewercaraccidents during recessions, including anduptotwoyearsinprison -the theyaren't driving asmuch, theydon'tgooutdrinking ($77,850) stiffest penalty inCanada.

Current penalties range thatmuch, theydon'tgooutpartying thatmuch," uptofinesofC$1O,00O andsixmonths injail.

Schirle explained.

"All thesethings leadtolower Sleddogtouroperators, whoarenowlargely mortality rates." willbesubject toincreased inspecOther contributing factors induded individuals tend- unregulated, willdevelop standards for ingtospendlessmoney onfastfoodandcigarettes tions,andtheprovince care- induding howandwhentheycan andfinding more timeonleisurely exercise.

Numerousanimal beputdown. studies havealsofound thatunemployed pel50IIS

sleepmore. .

Erika Faust - lntenobang (Fanshawe College)

BreeMantha-The(.onl (\WfiidwierUnieity)

Reuters

Avepeople were arrested afterriotpolice shutdown ananti-tuition protest inMontreal onThursday.

Onewaspeoonwasinjured afterprotesters entered anoffice building downtown, butpolice saidthe woman wasnotaprotester.

Theprotest remained peaceful forover threehours,as around 2,000 demonstrators snaked theirwaythrough downtown Montreal Protesters areupsetwithtuition increases proposed inQuebec's provincial budget earlier this month.

Protesters were alsocalling forfreeuniversity education inQuebec. aa~eswithpolice began around 4p.m.Asthemajority ofprotesters were gatheredoutside premier JeanCharest's Montreal office, a small group ofprotesters entered thenearby offices oftheConference ofRectors andPrincipals ofQuebec Universities.

Thegroup, which represents administratorsatalluniversities intheprovi~hascome outin favour oftheinaease.

Acconling topolire, awoman whoworl<s inthebuilding housing theCREPUQ offices suffered afractured armduring aconfrontation with protesters.

Around 4:20p.m_., police ordered demonstrators toclear thestreetandmove westWhen a large number ofprotesters didn't move, riotpolice • charged theaowd.Police firedseveral stungrenades above theprotesters.

Police splitthecrowd intoseveral smaller groups within amatterofminutes.

Atseveral points, large aowds ofonlookers gathered asriot police followed small groups ofprotesters onbusy downtown streeis.

Riotpolice began leaving thearea beloreSp.m.

.laalb Serelnl-OJPQuebecBureau Olief

..,

'I 5

THE CASCADE

FRIDAY,APRIL8th, 2011

.

Voting will 'require students to plan ahead

'

Concern mountsover~owmucha May2 election date,Easteradvanced pollswilldeteryouthvote ALANNA WALLACE CUPONTARIO BUREAU CHIEF WATERLOO, Ont. (CUP) Many are wondering if students will even be able to vote in the upcoming federal election with polling days scheduled at such an inconvenient time for the young voters. · With the election slated for May 2 and advanced polls announced for the Easter weekend, there has been growing concern about how student voter turnout will fare, considering the-inconvenience of such a time for post-secondary students.

Chris Hyde, policy researcher and advocacy co-ordinator for Wilfrid Laurier University's st\1dents' union, described the current situation as a "perfect storm," which could hinder voter turnout on campuses across the country.

It's also a concern for Elections Canada, said Diane Benson of media relations. ''Voting at the time of the year that's a very busy time for students certainly presents a challenge for them," said Benson. ''But what Elections Canada tries to do is offer as many options as possible."

These options include voting by advanced ballot, by mail and by taking advantage of advanced polls.

"It does require students to plan ahead and go through a process depending on what voting process they choose, if they want to avoid the end of exam time period right when the election day happens," Benson said.

Hyde is currently drafting a letter to the chief electoral officer

of Canada regarding the issue in hopes that it will receive more attention.

"It really is almost a national issue and it's national issue that it receives a lot of attention because a lot of people are out there saying this isn't fair to students," he said. ''But there aren't a lot of p~ple at the national level saying, 'Here's an alternative."'

Hyde added that an advanced poll on the April 20 or 21 would help student voter turnout.

"Unfortunately, students are writing exams, finishing papers,

a

Greens lqoking to

are otherwise moving or looking for summer employment. All of these things work against students having the time to vote using a special ballot," Hyde said.

He also mentioned how difficult it will be for students to vote in the ridings they live in while at school because most students go home for the Easter holiday, which will impede the use of advanced polls.

These sentiments were echoed

by Elizabeth Dubois, a University of Ottawa fourth-year currently planning a youth rally.

said Saad Aslam, a students~ union vice-president at Laurier.

"It's going to be -interesting to see how many students take advan~ tage of the advanced polls or will they just end up voting at home."

Hyde stressed the importance of post-secondary students to be able to vote in the ridings they go to school in and often live in for four years while they" attend post-secondary. However, many will no longer be residents of these ridings once the end of the semester comes and th~y return to their parents' homes for the summer.

"It ·affects [students] because they're not allowed to vote in a riding that may mean something to them/' Hyde said.

Although the dates of the election are inconvenient for students, Aslam and D9-bois remained confident that post-secondary students will remain engaged in the election, though it will take some effort on the part of other students. ;'It's a really hard time for. students right now, we're in the middle of exams, we're writing fiPhoto: AlexSmyth/The Fulcrum nal papers," _Dubois said. "It's not easy, but I think that youth are re"I really do think that it's going ally getting behind this and using to cause some big problems/' Du- the tools we know how to use best bois. "Without the significant con- like social media to really make versations going. on and some sig- sure that O\Jf voice is heard."

Citing YouTube yideos of ralnificant information getting out to students, we're going to have a big lies at the University of Guelph problem with the youth turnout." . and the ongoing national coverage And in ridings such as Kitchen- of two London· youth who were kicked out of a Conservative rally, ex;:-Waterloo,where Conservative MP Peter Braid won his seal: by a Dubois and Aslam agreed stuvery narrow margin in 2008, the dents are gearing up to be a large part of this year's election. student vote can be particularly "The dialogue around post-secimportant.

"For a riding such as this where ondary has definitely started and last time it was decided by 17 it's up to us and everyone else to votes, there's a lot at stake here," keep it going/' concluded Aslam:

·s.~-. for first seat

'Ifyouthvotedtheywouldchange politicsinthis.country forever;' ARSHYMANN THEUBYSSEY VANCOUVER (CUP) - In a federal election likely to be dominated by the concerns of an increasingly aging population, one party will be looking to a more youthful base.

The Green Party· of Canada has yet to elect a candidate to. the House of Commons, though they received just under a million votes in the last election. In order to change that, they'll be making a big push in British Columbia, with a message that most appeals to the age group that votes the least.

"I think B.C. is the province where breakthrough will happen by virtue of just how green people are," Adriane Carr, deputy leader qf the federal Greens, said in an interview aboard a ferry traveling to Vancouver Island.

Carr was en route to party leader Elizabeth May's riding of Saanich-Gulf Islands for the Greens' election kick-off. It's also where the party hopes to gain its first seat in the House. · "It's our number one priority to elect Elizabeth May in this election · and . . . Saanich-Gulf Islands [is] a very Green-friendly riding," said Carr.

The University of British Columbia graduate and former leader of the Greens' B.C. branch said the

Green Party deputy leader Adriane Carr on board the ferry to Vancouver Island. (Photo: Geoff Lister/The Ubyssey)

other major parties are only inter- gained voters in the past few elecested in gaining the most seats in tions; in order to finally win a seat the next election and not in work- they'll-have to fight the notion that ing towards enduring solutions to a Green vote is a wasted vote. problems such as environmental During the 2008 election, the degradation.

Greens picked up 8.8 per cent of "There's a huge difference be- the vote in Vancouver-Quadra, tween the Green Party and all the . which includes lIBC, coming in other parties. And fundamentally, · at third place - just ahead of the it's because we understand that NOP. Nationally, the party garthere are limits to growth, and the nered 6.8' per cent of the vote and others don't," she said. "We un- leader May, who came into second derstand that you've got to think to Defence Minister Peter MacKay long-term, it's not about thinking in Central Nova, beat the thirdabout vested interest." place NOP candidate by almost While the Greens haye steadily twice as much.

Carr will be once again running in Vancouver Centre, a riding where she picked up 18.27 per cent of the vote in 200~.. She pointed out that Vancouver Centre, which includes downtown, the West End, Yaletown and parts of Kitsilano, has a demographic profile that is advantageous to the Greens.

She com.pared it to Melbourn.e, Australia and Brighton, England - cities that have elected Green parliamentarians in the past.

"Melbourne and Brighton, just like Vancouver, are seaside ports, tourism-based economies, very strongly arts and culture and filmoriented [with] strong LGBT comml,lnities," she said. "It's a match in my mind." , But in order to make those kinds of gains, the Greens need to convince youth to ilctually show up to the polls. ''Vote," said Carr when asked what message she would leave . students with. "They need to vote.

"If youth voted they would change politics in this country forever. Vote, and vote for who you really believe will best represent you. Don't listen to this 'I-thinkit's-disrespectful' garbage that [it] won't count if you don't vote for· a certain party. Of course your vote counts; every vote counts, it sends a huge message and it can elect something different."

Wrilcflrlllc

cuclllcl Submit

articlesto l

cascade. chief@ufv.ca

. 6

THE CASCADE

Letterto the Editor

FRIDAY,APRIL 8th 2011

UFVPre-Medstudents:on MCAT ALEXANDRA SHAW material - email pmsa@ufv.ca if

Attack on !heatre Department has no place_in student n~wspaper

CONTRIBUTORyou want to make this happen!

Hello

all pre-~ed students!

fter reading this article, ["UFV Theatre department steals from students"], I cannot contain my shock; it is an embarrassment to The Cascade· and to the university as a whole. Not only does Mrs. Colbourne insult the countless amount of hours of effort put in by the staff and students of the Theatre Department, she also dirties her own newspaper's reputation with tabloid journalism. I don't know what this department has done to make her feel so strongly against us, but it gives you no right to publish stories attempting to slander our -work.

As for the editors of this paper, I underst~nd your want to publish articles that encourage discussion and response among the stu-

A

dent body, but there is a fine line ments support each other an,d the between tact and immaturity. You university works as one body: are university students, some· of This article is exactly the kind of whoip. I'm sure are pursuing a ca- thing that destroys our fledgling reer in journalism, and as such I university community that we would assume you would take a are trying so hard to foster. professional approach when seI have read all of Mrs. Collecting articles to publish. When bourne's theatre reviews, and I read a piece like this, I cannot while. I ~as quite disappointed help but feel like I am back in high · in them, I kept my t'nouth shut, school, reading the paper not be- realizing that receiving bad recause I am interested in what is views are just another part of happening in my school, but be- this business and that it was my . cause I have nothing else to do. job to continue on performing to We are a university and as the best of my ability. However, such, we should be working to- after reading trus - a blatant atgether, and not attempting to tack on a department that has, to backstab our fellow peers. A uni- the best of my knowledge, done versity community is what makes nothing to seriously wrong Mrs. students become engaged and in- Colbourne, I could not hold my volved with their' school, and that tongue ~rther. atmosphere is built when depart-Eli Funk

Will May have her day?

SARAH KINGSTON POLITICAL COLUMNIST

ry,he five major Canadian net1 works have unanimously voted to exclude the Green Party from the televised debates on April 12 and 14. In the 2008 election May won the right to take part in the election because she had one seat in the House of Commons. The networks insist that she cannot participate because the Green Party does not currently hold a seat.

In the 2008 election the Green Party garnered 6.8 per cent of the overall vote; only 3.6 per cent less than the Bloc Quebecois, who had 49 seats in the House of Commons exclusively representing cities in Quebec. The Green Party is a national party that has 298 candidates in place at press time Sunday afternoon,, and May says they will have a candidate in all 308 ridings shortly. As support for the Green Party is spread across the country they struggle to get enough votes in a concentrated area to win a seat in the House of Commons. For a party to receive federal funding it must get more than 2 per cent of the national vote. The Green Party has qualified for federal funding since 2004.

In 2008 the Green Party was_ . permitted to participate in the debate because they had one seated meinber, Blair Wilson. Wilson was not voted in as a Green ca~didate; he was originally voted in as a Liberal but stepped down in 2007 and became an independent MP; in 2008 he joined the Green Party and became their first MP ever.

Support for the Green Party has grown by 2.5 per cent of the total vote from 2006 to 2008, which is more than two and a half times the population of Abbotsford There has been a great amount of media attention surrounding the issue of May's inclusion in

the debates. Biogs and opinion articles have examined both sides of the story. In the Ottawa Citizen, a political consultant and writer asserted, "Greens are nothing but an over-rated, over-hyped, and over-indulged fringe party." He also discussed the pre-election online polls and how they have. inaccurately estimated the support for the Green Party in the last two elections because .voters that claim to support Green will typically cast their ballot for the traditional parties.

Everyone who shows up at the polls on Election Day is there because they want their voice to be ·heard, to have their opinion and their circumstances count.

As long as the networks attempt to silence the Green Party (they also tried unsuccessfully in 2008) Canadians will feel as though a vote for Green won't be heard; they will think that at least they can decide between which other party will be elected. If Canadians are voting for the Green Party it is because they are not getting something thnr need from the traditional parties.

In the last election the Green Party got a large amount of support•from western Canada. The

Thanks so. much to every-· one who attended the recent MCAT (Medical College Admissions Test) workshop. This yearly event is meant to help guide students planning to ap: ply to medical school relatively soon. We-had the opportunity to hear perspectives from students who have prepared for, written, and re-written, this challenging exam. Here's what we went over: • How to register at www.aamc.org • Components of the test: Physical Sciences, Verbal Reasoning, Writing Sample, and Biological Sciences · • How scoring works •Study options and ideas: comparison of different study courses and material .•Possibility of an MCAT study group this summer, including professors to help with

If you didn't have time to attend, feel free to check out our schoql website for information on the MCAT and some other aspects of medical school. To get to our webpage, go to www.ufv. ca, and from there go to Faculties & Programs > Faculty of Science > Science Advice Center > PreMed Student Association. The best way to receive notification

UFV

PMSA

is to join our Facebook group, UFV Pre-Med Student Association, and to email pmsa@ufv.ca so we can add you to our emailing list. Everyone is welcome!

Platform promises forstudents: poor tononexistent Greens got 8.8 per cent of the vote in Alberta, 9.4 per cent of the vote in BC, and 12.8 per cent of the vote in the Yuk6n. Support from other provinces ranged between 1.7 per cent and eight per cent.

Some publications have accu~ed the Green Party of being . a one trick pony. Inc_luding May jn the debates would show Canadians the true Green Party and they will v.ote accordingly. None of the other candidates have a · problem with ~fay's participation in the debate. She also has the support of former Prime Ministers Paul Martin and Joe Clark.

Paul Martin told a Toronto Star reporter, "Canadians are entitled to points of view of all of the valid players and Elizabeth May and the. Green party are certainly valid participants."

In an interview with the Globe and Mail, the chairman of the TV consortium of the major Canadian networks said, "Our deci. sfon is final and the decision is unanimous. It will not J:,erecon- ' sidered." On April 5, the Green Party's lawyer, Peter Rosenthal, will plead Maf s case to the Federal Court of Appeal in Ottawa to review the CRTC's rule that networks can excl:udeany party they choo·se from televised debates.

May enquires,. "How much longer are five media executives going to insist their opinion counts more than a inajority of the Canadian public?" · An attempt to exclude a party that secured almost a million Canadian v;otes in the last election is wrong. It is censoring the voice of one in every 32 Canadians (according to 2006 Census).

This is the equivalent to someone walking into a UFV class durtng a discussion and hissing at one student who reasons a little di£. ferently, "Even though you pay through the nose to be here, you don't count. No one wants to hear what you have to say!"

CHELSEA THORNTON to appeal to new-immigrant and STAFF WRITER middle-class families: a glittering promise that students will he Liberal Party's first ma- be given the funds to recognize _jor • policy announcement their potential. The program in the run-up to the election is would be funded by eliminating their Canadian Learning Strat- corporate tax cuts. egy. The starring policy within The NDP recognizes the holthis strategy is the ·"Can~dian lowness of this policy. Layton Learning Passport": a billion said "The key thing you have to dollar initiative that would do with education is get the costs ensure that every high school down and hold those costs from student who chooses .to go on rising.'' That sounds wonderful, to post-secondary school will Mr.Layton, but how are you goreceive $4000 over four years, ing to do that? Unfortunately, or $6000 over four years for stu- so far the NDP plan appears to dents from low income fami- consist of nothing more than this lies. Liberals say it is "the single statement. Green ,Party plans· largest annual investinent in ar 'similarly vague, promising non-repayable federal student · t freeze then reduce tuition assistance in Canadian history." tes and fund more need-based They have also promised to ere- ~ rams without explaining where ate a Metis national scholarship the money would come. from or and permanently fund the First how· such a program might be Nations University of Canada. implemented.

Sounds great right? The probThe Conservatives have yet lem is that the promised funds to address · the issue of educaonly amount to about $1000 a tion directly, choosing instead to year. And the money replaces cover it within the umbrella of the· education tax credit and their ,income-splitting tax policy, textbook tax credit. The party 'is · whic;h would let families where really only pledging to commit · _one / parent makes drastically about $500 extra a year. At UFV, ' more than another split that inwhich has a lower than: aver- come to reduce the taxes the _age tuition rate, that wor_ks out house!:1-old would have to pay. to less than the tuition for one This would particularly benefit four-credit course. Never mind families with one stay-at-home the fact that tuition rates are ris- parent: the working parent could ing nation-wide. Also, the pro- distribute their income between gram only provides funding for both parents, lowering their tax four years of school: how many bracket. However, thi1> policy .students that you know are on would only collie into place after schedule to finish their degree the budget is· balanced - schedin four years? · uled to happen in four years.

The fact of the matter is that Why aren't the parties pursu$4000 might sound like a lot to ing more aggressive strategies a wide-eyed high schopl stu- when it comes to education? dent or a parent who has yet to Probably · because the student accompany a child through the vote in Canada is largely recogfinancial turmoil that is univernized to b.e almost microscopic sity, but anybody close to the in size and powerfully apathetic. post-secondary system will rec- Why waste the few campaign ognize that the Learning Pass- promises you can believably port is a pretty flimsy band-aid make trying to woo an audience · - solution. The program is -:iimed that isn't listening?

T

FRIDAY,APRIL 8th, 2011

7

THE CASCADE

The positives of negative voting voting for a third or fourth place TREVORFIK STAFF WRITER party, can be an effective means by whicli to control the outcome of n an electoral system where a an election. party can get one million votes Strategic voting can also be a across the· co\.mtry and still not way by which you can have a say come away with a seat in parlia- on a party's platform and issues, ment, voters are becoming inc;reas- when you would otherwise let ingly 'indifferent to the Canadian your opinion fall by the wayside political system. This is aggravat~ in the face of indifference. ed by the fact that an immensely At VoteForEnvironment.ca, unpopular federal election ap- Toronto environmentalist and proaches just as the Canadian founder of NOW magazine K~vin economy is beginning to emerge Grandia set up a website precedfrom the ruins of a recession. With ing the 2008 federal election that voter apathy at an unprecedented tracked voting in each Canadian high, those casting their ballot not riding in order to give voters an wishing to throw away their vote idea of how to best dispose of the have begun to adopt the practice front-running Conservative Party. of strategic voting.

Grandia set up the site based on Strategic voting (sometimes his passion for the environment, referred to as "negative voting") and his displeasure at the Conseris a system by which individual vative platform regarding it. voters cast their ballot based on For those interested in the iskeeping a front-running candi- sues, but less than enthused about date from winning, rather than the politics, strategic voting is an voting for who they would prefer outlet by which people can have to win. This sy~tem,-while seen as their say' on topics w~ile keeping wasting a vote by some, allows for a safe distance from the venomous individuals who would otherwise political landscape. not vote at all to have a sa.y in the Political candidat~s are not imdemocratic system. mune to the effects of strategic The Canadian first~past-the- . voting, as noted with one Ontario post voting system is particularly NDP member who pulled out of susceptible to strategic voting, the upcoming federal election and as it does not allow for majority threw his endorsement behind the representation. A candidate -can second place Liberal party. Ryan win a seat in parliament without Dolby of the . Elgin-Middlesex· coming away with the majority of London riding shocked the NDP votes, as long as he has more than brass by withdrawing his candithe other guy. Keeping votes from dacy in favour of the trailing Liba front running candidate, while eral party.

I

"I think it's the best decision on behalf of my family, my community, and my country to do whatever I can to make sure there isn't a Co~servative victory, especially in this riding," noted Oolby.

While this way of voting may seem like an ineffective stop gap against a failing democratic sys- . tern, it allows voters a chance to be part of the political realm at a time when they would sooner not be involved. Fulfillment of a civic duty such as voting is important as it allows for individuals to have a say in government. Even if the vote co~es from· the place of not wanting somebody to win a seat in parliament, it is the ability to take action that defines the democratic system.

It does seem rather undemocratic in a progressive society to vote for someone who you are Q: What doyou useyour UPassfor? not entirely convinced will make A: The bus. And to get a discount on books at Hemingway's. an adequate leader. While many Q: What's one thingyou wouldchangeat UFV? place their vote based on per- A: More classes offered. And a fire pit, put it out over the summer. ceived leadership qualities,- the Q: What'syourfavouritebook? political realm is increasingly be- A: Treasure Island by Louis Stevenson. coming about picking. the lesser Q: What areyour plansfor the summer? of two evils. At its core however A: Planning my whole next year and basically changing the way things the democratic system is about al- are done at the SUS. lowing the people to have a say in who is in control of government and what those in control do to properly govern the nation. While strategic voting may not be ideal, in the fragmented world of Canadian politics it is the most positive approach.

Zach

A shocking-strategy:actually. vote!

SOPHIE ISBISTER OPINIONED)TOR nother federal election looms, and with it, social media is all a-twitter with slogans like "Anyone but Harper," and images displi.t.ying support for every party except the Conservative Party.

With platform support for progressive issues seemingly spread out among the NDP, Greens, and Liberals, strategic voting looks more and more appealing to a pragmatic class of Canadians wh,o. are willing to bite the _bullet and take one for the team. .

Strategic voting is the practice in which you cast a ballot for a party that you don't necessarily support, simply because they will be the most likely to beat a party that you vehemently do not support. Typically in Canada the party-to-beat has been the Conservative Party, and the party that people have typically voted for in order to oust the Con candidate has been the Liberal party.

This is a fundamentally flawed distortion of Canadian democracy · - though I understand the sentiment. However, ignoring minor parties that you may align yourself with merely because their riding is deemed "unwinnable" effectively turns the Canadian political landscape into a two-party system. The beauty of the Canadian electoral system is that we have an incredible amount of choice in wh,o we vote for. Our leadership debates are not the back-and-forth Presidential debates seen in Atperican politics; no, they function more as a round-table discussion, where diverse views are bandied about by four or five party leaders.

with handy maps and graphs and polls, all to further their agenda that your vote is ultimately meaningless and can be warped and altered to potentially manufacture a specific election outcome.

But the problem with the inter- Q: What doyou useyour UPassfor? . net is that it can represent a very A: The bus, and going to the gym from time to time. vocal minority. Not everyone is Q: What's one thingyou wouldchangeat UFV? on the internet; the people in re- · A: Registration could be a little less congested. tirement homes .,..the ones most Q: Seenany goodmovieslately? targeted by Stephen Harper, and A: Rango. Johnny Depp is le sex! Even as a cartoon lizard. the ones who campaign manag- Q: What areyour plansfor thesummer? ers are planning to pick up and A: Work, and chillax! ' drive to the polls on Election Day - are not on the internet. The massive amount of old and older people who stand to benefit from Harper's fiscally and socially conservative platform are the ones who are dusting off their walkers , and casting ballots for who they really believe in. So even if the web-savvy targets of strategic voting campaigns actually devalue democracy enough to sully one of its major tenants (that your vote is your business and nobody else's), there is no indication that casting your ballot based on polls and graphs actually works.

If students (a demographic that is so historically bad at showing up to vote that party platforms barely cater to them) actually turned up to vote, and voted for who they actually wanted to see Q: What do.youuseyour UPassfor? represent them, the Canadian political landscape could start to A: I don't have one, I drive. . look a lot more lush and vibrant. Q: What's onethingyou wouldchangeat UFV? We wouldn't need to vote for the A: I would offer a taxidermy course. lesser of two evils: we could vote Q: What is yourfavouriteoceandwellingmammal? for the good 'candidate, the one A: Narwhal, duh ... it's the unicorn of the sea. who worked their ass off to cam- Q: What areyour plansfor the summer? paign to students and youth, and A: I'm going to be here all summer, petitioning for a taxidermy course. the one who is willing to do work in the community. We could do all this without feeling like we are throwing away our vote.

Devon

A

Limiting oneself to voting for "the guy who is a little less evil than that guy, but still evil" strips one of their democratic rights.

Further, placing all your democratic credits into the hands of the party leaders takes emphasis off of the regional representatives whc:, will actually be doing all the legwork in your community. While it seems like it makes sense to vote for the person who may become Prime Minister, it's also important to pay close attention to the person who will be doing advocacy work on behalf of your neighbourhood and who will (hopefully) represent the needs and interests of your specific community.

The internet and social media have given proponents of strategic voting . the perfect platform from which to espouse their crafty points of view. They can encourage their friends to vote a certain way, they can identify specific ridings in which the Conservative party is weak, and they can even go so far as to create websites

Jeff .

8

www.ufvcascade.ca

FRIDAY,APRIL 8th, 2011

THE VIOLET HEART way to learn wh:it your paFtner COMMUNICATOR likes than to share i~ the fantasies they enjoy? Once you start learn//The number one key to any re- ing what they like, then you can lationship is communication." start choosing videos for them, or When it comes to relationship ad- tell them stories that enact their - vice, this trite platitude is bound favourite fantasy while you ja~ to pop up l'~ntinuously - myself them off ("then the sex-robot starts guilty as charged. Good sex, af- penetrating your ass, in-out, inter all, hinges on communication: out and you start screaming with you've got to let your . partner pleasure ..."). know what you like, what hurts, Another way to get to know what's uncomfortable. Yet com- each other is to go shopping. Visit munication is never as easy as we your local sex store and make a columnists like to make it sound. budget, for instance designating Most of the time, people are em- $40 each to spend on any toy you barrassed and ashamed to talk to want. Then come home and take their partner honestly about sex; turns trying them out on each even worse, when they do, often other. Or, have your partner pick out what they'd like you to wear in their partner responds awkwardly, unsupportively, or harshly. It J>ed; ask them which of a choice of only takes a few times being shot panties/underwear, costumes, lindown by each other before a cou- gerie etc. they'd like best on you. ple gets too shy to try anything You may be surprised what your new. pa:i:tner does and does not find Remarkably, while sex in the sexy.. bed may get stuck in a rut, many Similarly, playing games can be people continue to explore sexu- a fun way to get familiar with each ally - on their own. Whether it's ·other. Pre-made games can force watching porn, reading erotica, or you both to try new things. Evert . even just masturbating by them- better, wager fantasies with each selves, many of those in relation- other; have your partner write ships find ways to enjoy fantasy down something they'd like to do and pleasure without their part- to you or have done to them and ner. While this is perfectly healthy vice versa, and the winner gets to behaviour, there is no reason why have their fantasy fulfilled by the you can't share these experiences loser. Or, have each person write with your partner, either. Have down on separate pieces of payour partner pick a porno they per three things they want to try · like and watch it together while in bed; throw them in a hat and touching each other; what better . pick one. Another idea i~ to write

down four or five things yourself, and have your partner pick which they'd like to have done to them.

There's nothing more exciting than coming home to find a list on your pillow reading "Check which one of these you want me to do to you toni~ht: 1) strapping you to a chair and blowing you 2) fucking your ass with a dildo 3) riding you dressed like a - - -..." etc.

Most important, however, is being honest. By honest, I don't mean being brutally rude to your partner when they suggest something you're uncomfortable with or shocked about. I mean being honest about what you like. While you may not be at the point where " you feel OK saying to your partner "hey, try a little lower that's really not doirrg it for me," you still have basic body language. If you don't like something, don't act like you do. When your partner does something you do like, or1: the other hand, moan, groan, writhe in pleasure - they'll figure out what works quickly enough. Don't fake it. If you do, you have no one to blame but yourself_if you don't find sex enjoyable - how could your partner know otherwise?

Lastly, try to keep an open mind.

Be c@ol.No fantasy is a "weird" fantasy - they're all w,eird Even if your partner's fantasies surprise you, don't show disgust; try to understand and go along with the flow - and they will probably return the favour.

Graphic:; Random:1Bushell

lrlh1ce CC:a§ccacdlce fl§lh1funbrng~ ]E]D) ][lrco]R{ ~ ][N-CC:]H[][]E]F ..

lFcO)Jr 1nrnc0)1rce fl1rnff co\vfl§fltt: 1rnf\vccca1§ccacdlce.ccca1p ce1nrn<01fu §CO) 1n1] ca1@1Utf\vccca1§cca(d e.a CO)lr vfl§ll1t lrCO)CO)lnTil CC:Jl(O .

.

FRIDAY,APRIL 8th, 2011

The Kegan Spence Quartet

Outside the .(take.out) Box

Livejazzat UFV classical music.

CHELSEA THRONTON The band also played selections f!om blues jazz; hard bop, and contemporary artists. Their passion for the music was evident: the upright bassist had a smile on his face the entire time, the. guitarist appeared to be mouthing lyrics or notes, the drummer quintessentially laidback, and . the. saxophonist kept trying to squeeze one more song in at the end of the concert Their passion comes from years of dedication and a gruelli~g practice. schedule: all the quartet members spend about four to six hours a day just practicing, and upwards ,of ten hours a day playing. . The audience took advantage of the learning opportunity, asking questions after every song. An important note to the aspiring jazz aficionado: be sure to clap after every solo - it's proper concert etiquette.

After the show, a member of the audience said: "It was a fantastic performance.

It was great to hear jazz on campus. We should have more diverse music offerings atUFV.i,

STAFF WRITER n Tuesday March 29, UFV welcomed The Kegan Spence Jazz Quartet to play an hour long concert in the auditorium.

They were at UFV for the benefit of ti:µ~ semester's MUSC 150: Introduction to Music History _: Music of the Twentieth Century.

The group consists of students from· Capilano University, and their familiarity with student life was apparent in their presentation: they infused the evening with a tonne of useful, information about Jazz history and arrangeme:nt, as well as explanations about the discipline and the dedication of true musicians.

The band used jazz classics to highlight important aspects of jazz music. After per:(orming "Stella by Starlight" by Victor Young, the quartet explained what'a standard is: a song that pretty much_~very jazz musician needs to know. The power of a standard is that it allows musicians who have never played together to do so. The quartet, for example, had never played together before, they walked into UFV last Tuesday. The key is improvisation: although the arrangement of a song stays the same almost every time it is played, each individual can alter their own part and play off the improvisation of their band mates. The bassist and guitarist played two different versions of the closing harmony, altering it on the fly.

Although jazz music might not be the musical reference your mind first jumps to for the sixties, the quartet pointed to a jazz musician who captures the decade's passion f.gr,the. new and "anger· for the world being an messed up." Wayne Shorter's "Wildflower" markecl a ntov~ment towards a more ab- · stract form of jazz, also referencing chamber and

O

EiC.

ay.iies, indu ~eivab\?a

aging Edita(

busl1n C~OSSIOG

Graphic: Randona Bushell

101 - 18789 Fraser Highway, Surrey BC http://www.dublincrossing.c~m AMYVANVEEN

STAFF WRITER a sausage and roasted chicken panini with smoked cheddar and spinach sided with hough parking at Dublin Crossing yarn fries for $1.25 more. The sandwich was filled with flavour from one slice of bread makes findi11g a spot on campus during high traffic class times seem.like a breeze, to the other and the qualify of ingredients it is worth the trek from here to there. Lo- is clearly evident. 'fhough my hands got cated in Clayton at Fraser Highway and greasy enough to need a napkin, it was a 188th Street, this little bit of Ireland offers good kind of grease: the kind of grease that customers a taste of that verdant nation means they've cooked with butter instead of cheap oils or lard. without costing the price of a semester.

For dessert I could not resist tasting the As the domineering doors open, or rather when they are opened since it's not alcohol flavoured ice creams they make a magical place with automatic sensors, themselves. Instead of getting a full desthe plethora of seating ·options and loca- sert, I got the mini version of White Chocotions overwhelm even the most decisive late Guinness Brownie for $2.75. The ~uinperson. To the right is a small raised area riess Brownie ice cream was heaven on a where tables offer more seating on most chocolate covered saucer and the brownie nights and where musicians share their tal- was tasty, though I do prefer dark chocoent with the rest of the pub on those special· late brownies to white chocolate. They also evenings; Upstairs offers lounge chairs, have freshly made, warm and delicious a fireplace and a comfortable v.iew of the mini Dublin Donuts drizzled in chocolate sauce and served with delectable coffee ice tables and stage area downstairs. Further into the restaurant are tables and chairs, cream.

Even though the praise is plentiful benches and booths and nooks echoing quaint Irish dwellings. When the· weather for this Langley pub, its reputation has it is less temperamental, the patio is open to bursting at the seams every weekend with any smooth surface becoming a makeshift enjoy a Guinness and some sun.

The decor beckons images of Ireland, table. The drinks average around eight dolespecially for those who have not visited, lars each, making it a little pricey. Most of with antiqued paint jobs on the walls and the dinners and sandwiches are under fifceilings, shelves with (?ld goods hailing t~en dollars and go up to around twenty, from the UK. From Borax soap to chan- and the starters are under fifteen, making deliers, stained glass windows to fresh them as expensive as the entrees. The muflowers, the detail in this pub is keen. The sic, too,is inescapably loud in even the farservers, even, wear plaid skirts though that thest corner. does seem more Scottish than Irish.

If you don't feel like waiting for their The ·most important part of the expe- countdown to the next St. Patty's Day to rience, though, has to be the food since turn you into a Irish pub poser, head out to that's why restaurants exist. The menu is the other side of Langley for a taste of Irish plentiful with all kinds of comfort foods cuisine, though interestingly without the to choose from. I opted for the special of presence of Irish music.

T

. of Ca the

9

www.ufvcascade.ca

n the actual contenti or focuseson the personnelside o trains staff, with input from the responsiblefor all administrative ise.rs,~aging payroll, accounts ·· s~istribution.The Manin developingfeatures

f.Ortt-,epape in office hoursper hich point the Man-

Prospera Credit Union invitesyou to our First Time Home Buyers Seminar.

Date:

Tuesday, April 28th,201.1from 6:30 pm

to 8:00 pm

Location: West Oaks Branch #40 - 32700 S. Fraser Way, Abbotsford Enjoy:

Refreshments, door prizes, and an informative presentation to help you make your home ownership dreams a reality!

RSVP:

Call Nikhol Hopkins at 604.870.3473

by April 20th,2.011

prospera~ CREDI!

u·NION

i INSURANCE

l

10

,:1,r1.

sound

•

www.ufvcascade.ca

bites

mini

FRIDAY,APRIL 8th, 2011

a I bum

reviews

'RAIIIO

l

GSTS GFTF· Young Galaxy Shapeshifting

2 3

AIINA AHNA Shearing Pinx: Void White

4 5 6 JJ 7

Grown-Ups E.TLathe DoctorEw Gadzooks ·

ISPEN and the Paper Crown Entertainment Ordinaire Topanga TopangaEP

8

Teapot Hill Teapot Hill

9

·11A•

The Vivian Girls Share theJoy

1O

ll 12 13 14 15 16 17 18

Boat Dress Like Your Idols

On a song to song basis, Diego Garcia has ~ interesting Latin indie vibe with his quick finger picking and flamenco guitar playing mixed with a mellow rock sound. Laurais a very easy going album, at times quite melancholy.

Garcia sings with a wonderfully enchanting voice and there is a lot of emotion attached to the lyrics.

The best part of his music is that he is accompanied by a beautiful violin player who compliments his sound very well. Unfortunately, after the first three tracks, there isn't much change and it becomes dull. The album starts to all sound the same and there aren't any upbeat songs to keep you from being lulled to sleep. As a whole, it's sub-par, but it has some strikingly unique elements to it that are definitely worth a listen.

Joel Colboume

Funeral Party The Golden Age of Knowhere

20

Bibio MindBokeh

You'll get your kicks from the Fans of Bibio's early work will first track on Funeral Party's de- find Mind Bokeh,the techno artist's but album The GoldenAge of Kno- 6th release (and his third on UK's where,which hit shelves on March Warp Records) lacking in a cer29. "New York City Moves to the tain ''Bibio-ness." The electronica Sound of LA'' is the opening track master made a name for himself and it certainly delivers a catchy, in the scene with fi, released in toe tapping, high powered rock n' 2005 on Mush records, which was roll sound. The rest of the album, characterized by its ambient drone laden with indie rock tropes and and found sounds borrowed from conventions, feels like it's already nature. The freshness that made been done: "Finale" features req- ·Bibio stand out froIJjlthe crowd of uisite hand clapping and chant- nerds with computers is missing ing, and lead singer Chad Elliot on his newest release, in favour sounds like he could be the love- of popular glitchy sounds and vochild of Brandon Flowers and Ju- cal samples which were not found lian Casablancas. If this is a recipe · on his early work. Die hard elecfor mainstream adult alternative tronica fans will love this album radio play, then only time will though, despite it sounding like a tell if there's life after death for mixed bag. Songs like the funkedFuneral Party, or" if yet another · out "Light Sleep," the ambient garage band will rot six feet un- "Artist's Valley," and the all-overderground. It's up to the listener !he:-place "Excuses" will keep to decide: is dullness equivalent to this album on my iPod. And don't offensiveness? despair, fans of the early work: title track "Mind Bokeh'' retains a Sophie Isbister maximum of original Bibio acoustic ooze flavour.

. Paul Falardeau

Sophie Isbister

Album Review: The··Obits Moody,Standardand Poor NICIUBELSunderlying sense of urgency; the

0 B I TS No.5 P8 5 7

ONLINEEDITOR listener is left with the impression of tremendous power under great 0 defiant snare hit splits open restraint. Although the group inMOODY "You Gotta Lose," the first habits a musical universe where . track from the Obits' fiery sopho- less is most definitely more, it Noah and the Whale more record, Moody, Standard and would be a mistake to call the Poor.Fuelled by a relentlessly pro- Obits minimalists. Despite their.

LQ,stNight on Earth pulsive rhythm section consist- clean sound, tightly focused coming of bassist Greg Simpson and position, and lack of overdubs, drummer Scott Gursky, the song there's something too aggressive Pat LePoidevin makes quick work pf summing about the band's music to abide Highway Houses up the band's M.O.:primal, decep- such a label. tively simple rock_and roll. To t~at Main vocalist Rick Froberg end, the Obits' latest offering is a a veteran of post-hardcore acts Siskiyou rousing success.

Drive Like Jehu and Hot Snakes Siskiyou An album that demands to be - has never sounded as melodic played loud to be fully appreci- as he does on the opening verse ated, Moody effectively trans- of ''Beggin' Dogs," and it suits We Are The City ports listeners to 1 o'clock at some him well. Throughout the record, Highschool cramped downtown dive bar Froberg's half-shouted vocals cut haunted by the ghosts of proto- ·nicely across the -clear-eyed and punk acts few patrons are old controlled arrangements that Tokoyo Police .club enough to remember.

It doesn't exdraw on the taut, punchy rhythm CharJJ,p, . actly sound live so much as it feels section of the Feelies as much as live. The production is cavernous they do the blues-infused mania and menacing, hinting at some- of the Stooges. . thing vaguely sinister lurking beSimplicity is a virtue for the hind every guitar riff.

Obits, but not for any lack of techThat _anxiety is given a voice in nical proficiency. Froberg and Pikey," where Froberg and Habibi:. lyrics like, "Don't everything baby bandmate Sohrab Habibion's dy- on freewheelingly spiral in and Radiohead I look better in the morning?" namic guitar work is even more out of interlocking guitar lines.

The King of Limbs from "Everything Looks Better In refined here than on the band's · Tone is king througliout the The Sun," that connect precisely debut, 2009's I BlameYou. Their du- record, and the Obits' g.uitars because they opt for the visceral elling, echo-laden guitar interplay, . sound like they're pouring out of over strained originality. at its best, brings to mind Televi- two clean-channel Fender amps What is perhaps most remark- sion's one-two punch of Tom Ver- played loud and pushed to their able about the New York quartet's laine and Richard Lloyd. Nowhere breaking point: jangly and resolatest release is how well the band is this more evident than on mid- nant with a spine-tingling edge of uses negative space to foster an album surf rock rave-up "Spot the natural distortion.

The Meligrove Band Shimmering Lights

_

Diego Garcia Laura

The Vivian Girls' third full length· release, Sharethe Joy,is also ·the first with their new drummer, Fiona Campbell, who joined when Ali Koehler left for Best Coast.

Their Jangly girl-pop sound remains intact from their first two albums though, complete with a . "dance if you wanna" attitude (the album's third track- gives that exact advice). The level of comP.lexity of the songs on Joyis noticeably deeper - and the tracks typically longer ...,than in previous outings.

Sometimes this is a joy, like on the raucous "Lake House," the rollicking modern western sound of "Trying to Pretend," or any time the girls hit a surf rock vein. Yet, at times, the slicker songs come across as just that and production walls create monotone noise, even when there's a lot more going on.

Still, this is an album that takes The Vivian Girls another step forward, and should make an enjoyable soundtrack for many parties· to come.

Grey Kingdom _Euology of Her and Her and Her Dinosaur Bones My Divider

rw

A

While Moody, Standardand Poor may not exactly rewrite the book on indie rock, it doesn't sound like that's what the Obits set out to do in the fir~t place. ·This scrappy, yet economical collection is a thrillingly ~athartic testament to the enduring viability of no frills, blues- _ driven garage punk.

FRIDAY.APRIL 8th, 2011

www.ufvcascade.ca

Album Review:

Book Review: The Stone Diaries

by CarolShields

Red Fang - Murderthe Mountains PAUL FALARDEAU ARTS& LIFEEDITOR

.

here is a double-edged sword in the world of metal. No, that isn't the name of a band, either. metal is often home to some of the most talented and skilful musicians in" the game, yet the raw, loud, and *ahem* brutal sound of the genre often scares away would be listeners. Most metalheads ar~ all too happy to let this happen, craving metal that makes no concessions to popular music.

Still, every once in a while a band bridges the gap and creates music . that satisfies the metal gods and -those-less-likely-to-sport-studs alike. So it is with open arms that a band like Red Fang is to be welcomed by bleeding eardrums everywhere.

Their second album Murder the Mountainsdelivers big time. Comparisons to Mastodon and Queens of the Stone Age are both apt, and the Portland band moves nicely between those gro~ps on album highlight "Wires," which takes QOTSA's riffs as hooks mentality· to heart.

It's worth noting that Mountains is produced by Chris Funk of The Decemberists. Yeah, the Decemberists. That means the album gets a slick and savvy production feeL enough to draw in those on the fence about metal.

For all those suddenly lowering their horns, relax, it's still pure.

Headbangers everywhere will rejoice to the riffs which sound like vintage 80's thrash mixed with Kyuss' sludge rock. "Throw Up" is particularly menacing.

If there are still questions of

T

ancholic is present in the following CONTRIBUTORchapters. ·We despair; this presence cannot be crushed by a vendhe Sto~ Diaries, by Carol ing machine of any sort. "Ease" is Shields, is the life story of a Daisy's retirement, which she lives woman who never fully under- out in Florida She is seventy-two, stands herself. The protagonist's playing shuffleboard, and gluuncertainty is disquieting and ing sea-shells to bracelets for her creates a haunting story about ir- grandchildren. But despite the moresolution and lack of fulfillment. tions of contentment (how playing Shields is a Canadian novelist and shuffleboard and gluing sea-shells poet renowned for her writing of signifies contentment, I don't reordinary lives with perceptive ally know) Daisy continues to hurl depth and, sympathy. Here she herself at the "e~ptiness she was presents a tale that never fully handed at birth," brooding in the defines the protagonist, instead oppressive heat of Florida. impressing upon the reader the Daisy's last years, in "Illness restrictions of the biographical and Decline" and "Death," are novel. poignant ·and heartbreaking. She Daisy Goodwill's life is told resides in a hospital after a heart through ten chapters, the first attack, confused, "trying to rebeing named "Birth," the last member when her body had been "Death." The division of these sealed and private" as the doctors chapters carries tru;"oughto Daisy's and nurses swirl around her. Her attempt ·to fill different roles; for emotional turmoil is sharp a:nd example "Motherhood" is oddly fades in and out of focus. Eventuset apart from "Work" in Daisy's ally she is moved to a care home. behaviour. The attempt to fill roles Daisy hasn't figured out her role, often overtakes Daisy within her and her bewilderment is accentustory. ated by a slow mental decline.

Shields takes us through these The Stone Diaries is a story with years with a shifting narrative, a mood that mirror's the protagomoving from Daisy's own per- nist's slow arc in life, an ascending spective to the voices of those hopefulness that doesn't peak in around her - Daisy's children, a climactic pinnacle but is softly family, friends, often unspeci- rounded. Her fall poses a contrast; fied but clearly close to her. These it is a severe drop, sorrowful and shifting voices create an intricate, cutting. complex story, whose details surDaisy's story is dark but resignround Daisy but never seem to edly humorous as life often is, complete her.

Shields's book, written in a gentle The Stone Diaries· begins as but powerful narrative, followDaisy's mother dies giving birth. ing a heartbreakingly real pro- · Daisy is born ip the stifµng heat of tagonist, is a genuinely good read. a Manitoba summer, to a Mother Daisy's last words are written but who is too obese to recognize her never uttered: "I am not at peace." pregnancy. There is a faint, mel- Had these words been spoken, ancholic humour that is rare' to had they been heard, perhaps come by. Chapter two is composed something within the story might · of letters written between Daisy's have been concluded. But Shields absent father and her guardian, leaves us with a sorrowful ending · which reveal a quiet "Childhood," that resonates deeply. Her novel interrupted rather bluntly by Dai- is compelling and quiet, almost a sy's innocent interpretation of her caution, that there is a difference guardian's '1ong brooding sexual between filling roles and understare" as indigestion. standing who you are.

An intangible sense of the ~1-

T

GOOD

THE

PAUL FALARDEAUThe Darkness ARTS& LIFEEDITOR

Here are some phantoms that -T.A.P.S. should not try and kick" out of your house any time soon. In fact,. I recommend welcoming them in.

Shit Ghost "Shit Ghost! Rattle My Chains" requests the cat suit bedecked singer, Justin Hawkins of the Darkness. "Shit ·Ghost'' does just that, it's all big solos and sing-along choruses. Lots of fun and Great to get pumped up to.

11

RED FANG

MURDER THEMOUNTAINS

autllenticity, check out the (hilarious) video for "Prehistoric Dog" from their first album. It's all shotgunning beer, metal work, harassing LARPers, and bodies getting hacked up. That's_all still present on Murder the Mountains, but now it's packaged a bit nicer.

It almost goes without saying, but the band plays their instrum~p.ts like champs. The drums, on "Painted Parade" are wild, with a "Hot For Teacher" style opening lick. Each guitar and bass track is carefully captured, yet never loses its raw energy. Really, each part sounds clear, but impeccably interwoven, likely the work of Funlc.

A welcome addition, considering

u

& The White Stripes Little Ghost Unabashedly twangy. Jack White ·makes an oddity on an album of oddities with this tubthimbing bluegrass track. Great image, when dancing with his ghost lover: "It must have looked like I was dancing with the ~alt"

one of metal's biggest pitfalls can be the muddying_ of the mix.

Overall, Red Fang has created a monster with Murder the Mountains.It snarls and screams like the most brutal in the game, yet stays remarkably accessible. It makes a mess, while staying clean. This is not an album to be missed; it is easily one of the best hard rock or metal discs to emerge so far this decade. So, start painting decals of wizards and flames on your wornout van, cut the arms off of your best denim jacket and remember: a party in the back doesn't mean you can't also have a party in the, front. Hell, it's time for another beer run.

Teagan and Sara Walkingwith:a Ghost Maybe the reason Tegan and Sara became as well-loved as they now are is t~ firey song that attempts to banish the ghosts of the p~ physical and mental. Oh, and its catchy as hell.

FLE

The National Anybody's Ghost From The National's fantastic High Viol.et,"Anybody's Ghost" is a prime example of why the band has found such great sucess. Poignant, affecting lyrics and excellent sound bring this song into your mind, and leave it thereto set up permanent residence.

www.ufvcascade.ca

12

FRIDAY,APRIL8th, 2011

ChannelSurting.

Thereality oftheUFC TREVOR FIi down in front of the camera, then

on a show which features amateur STAFF WRITER fighters vying for a coveted spot on the UFC roster?

For those unfamiliar with the eality television at its best is able to encompass the art of format of The Ultimate Fighter the human drama to its full ex- (TUF),the program takes 14 MMA competitors relatively new to the tent. The trials and tribulations of day to day living typically pro- sport and gives them the chance vide enough content to fill hours to train under the tutelage of a of television programming, and ·current MMA star and his team while most of it is of poorer q~al- of professional coaches. The com- . ity, when captured correctly the pen.tors are divided up into two raw and visceral emotion of peo- teams, whose members take turns ple can be an experience that is •Competingagainst each other on a weekly basis in a one on one MMA unsurpassed.

Surprisingly a program which fight. After each fighter has gotutilizes the best of the above cri- ten a chance to compete, the wint~ria is held in a show that puts ners go on to a single-elimination on display the increasingly main- tournament style bout which sees stream world of mixed martial arts somebody eliminated on a weekly (MMA). Where better to get your basis. The finals are held at The fix o~ gladiatorial-eque combat, Palms Hotel in Las Vegas, accomwhile seeing grown men break ·panied by a host of other _fights

R

from UFC competitors already on Lesnar and Junior Dos Santos the roster. The winner gets a guar- coaching a team of welterweight anteed six-figure contract with the competitors. Lesnar and Dos SanUFC, and the chance to fight on a tos will then meet after the season's conclusion at UFC 131 on pay-per view bout.

Both from a mixed martial-arts June 11 in Vancouver. perspective, as well as from an enIn the past the coaches have tertainment point of view, TUF is a been almost as entertaining as program that shines a light on 'the · the cotnpetitors themselves, with world of MMA from the vantage pranks being pulled and rivalries point that few are ever able to ex- formed. The most notable of which perience, that of the physical and was the coaching duo of Rashad mental implications of enduring Evans and Rampage Jackson in a a gruelling six week training pro- season which saw both coaches gram, all of _which is done un:der nearly come to blows on more the impending knowledge that than one occasion. . any fight could be a competitors Past winners of TUF include former light-heavyweight chamlast.

Many are hurt, several are seri- pions Forrest Griffin and Rashad ously injured, blood is spilled, and Evans, heavyweight Roy Nelson, tears are poured, but only one is and middleweight Michael Bispcrowned the ultimate fighter. ing.

This season (the series 13th) feaWhile much of the show focustures two heavyweight~ in Brock es on the training regimen of each

Cascadelrcade

Film Review

FarmVille andtheFearofLoss

Suckerpunch

fighter leading up to their bout, which is held at the end of the episode, the program also dedicates · a fair amount of time to going inside the TUF house where all the competitors are roomed together.

With any connection to the outside _worldcut,· several fighters often come to the brink of complete physical and mental collapse.

Competitors brawl, bully, hurl names, and pull pranks as a means of surviving the competition, and each other, as they endure the unforgiving world of MMA. The matches are so good because of how bad the fighters want to be in' the UFC, and the result is a show that is entertaining not only from an MMA perspective but from a human perspective.

JOEL SMART SPORTS EDITOR irls in skimpy outfits kicking ass;. advertisements for Sucker Punch made it look like a Charlie'sAngels remake from 300-director Zack Snyder. The look is classic Snyder, with graphic novel-esque eye candy on the screen at all times; the dialog is expectedly cheesy at points, not surprising, but there is something quite different about this film than any other action film I've ever seen. Though on the surface Sucker Punch might look like it's about killing a dragon, or escaping a mental institute, it's really about tackling the vei;r objectification of women that brought many into the audience in the , . first place.

JOEL SMART Amos Tversky, shows people feel a greater Perhaps the name of the film was the Sl?ORTS EDITOR loss discovering they've lost a movie ticket biggest clue that the film would offer somebefore getting in, than if they lost the same thing worth far more critical analysis; the t can be one of the most motivating fac- amount of money before purchasing a tickfilm intentionally displays each of. the lead tors, and one of the most paralyzing ad- et. Acc~rding to McRaney, it is this sense characters as victims of sexual abuse, right dictions, but loss aversion is an unavoidable, of greater value and purpose assigned that before the audience sees them compelled emotional component of being human. It's can create such an addiction to a game like to act s~xy for unnamed men. The purpos.e the force that compelled you to sit through FarmVille.Some people have even lost their seems evident - Snyder attracted to his film the rest of a horrible movie, so you wouldn't jobs due to thei.r investment in the Facebook those who were most interested in such obhave wasted the money, but it's also the rea- game.

Farmville seems innocent enough when· jectification, only to draw those very intenson you wrote your final paper at the end tions into question. • of the semester. It could even be the reason you start, with mildly enticing promises of The film begins with the story of a brave you're still in a bad relationship. The fear of a more impressi:ve farm. The game doesn't young girl named Baby Doll (Emily Brownloss can drive us to do things that the prom- stop when you do, though. It's the fulling) as her life is quickly .derailed by an ise of a compar<!,blegain simply ca~t match. fledged evolution ·of the addictive themes evil, money-hungry stepfather who tries to Peopl~ play games li~e FarmVille,Evony, that allowed the T~agochi virtual pet to rape her after her mother's death left her the and the hundreds of similar titles not be- dominate the attention of school children fortune. When she protects herself, he kills cause it is enjoyable but because they're in the late 1990's. Ignore the Tamagochi afr~d to quit - to lose all bf the hard work too long and it will die. With FarmVille, ·her younger sister. To silence her, he uses his powerful connections to lock her away they've put into it already. That is what Da- you'll need to come back within a certain at a mental institution· called the Lennox vid McRaney wrote about in his latest entry window of time or risk seeing all your acon his blog You Are Not So Smart. The blog, complishments wither away. Ifs the way , House. A bribed orderly forges a signature to authorize a lobotomy that would keep her around since October 2009,is devoted to ex- · the game forces you to manage your time quiet for good. It's at this point where things ploring the depths of self-delusion and oth- that has completely overtaken the lives of er irrational thoughts. FarmVilleseems to fit some players. "People set alarms to wake .get really tricky as Baby Doll uses numerous, often otherworldly fantasies through the blog's theme perlectly. "They can never up in the middle of the night to keep their which to orchestrate her escape. It's gorget back the time or the money they've farm alive," McRaney explained. "You con: geous to watch, as she defeats dragons, Naspent," he writes, "but they keep playing to tinue to play Farmvillenot to have fun, but avoid feeling the pain of loss and the ugly to avoid negative emotions. It isn't the crop · zis, and chain-gun wielding samurai giants.

The effects feel like an evolution of The Masensation waste creates." . you are harvesting, but your fallacies." trix, with super-slow motion and incredible Although the damage FarmVillehas done . The Sunk Cost Fallacy,. McRaney excamera angles as bullets whizz by. plains, is well illustrated in a study done in to the lives of many is unavoidable, it does However, each step into and out of fan1985 by Hal Arkes and Catherine Blumer provide an excellent example of the way the tasy causes the story to lose any sense of that looks at people's investments in con- Sunk Cost Fallacy operates. Ry playing a flow. It's jarring - purposefully so, in fact.flicting vacation plans. The duo asked par- game like FarmVille,one gains an easier unticipants to imagine they'd paid $100 for a derstanding of the emotional weakness the . as it jumps between different layers of the symbolic worlds. It quickly abandons any ski trip and subsequently a $50 dollar trip fear of loss can create within us. Perhaps sense of genre, style, or tli.e expected rules that promised to be even better. Only after the· ultimate rejection of FarmVille, then, followed by most films. Though its experithe purchase did they realize the trips were can give some players the ·push needed to mental nature will likely turn many viewstop pushing for that degree they no longer <1-tthe same time, and non-refundable. The ers off, it is clearly intentional and necessary Sunk Cost Fallacy, which saw the $100 in- want, or to end a harmful relationship even for its ultimate message. vestment as a bigger potential loss, led over though the idea of leaving that huge inThere is fierce debate over whether the half of the participants to claim they'd rath- vestment behind seems unthinkably scary. film is feminist, or faux-feminist, and both er give up the $50 trip. Another study, done There is life after FarmVille. sides have merit. Ultimately, Sucker Punch by psychologists Daniel Kahneman and

G

I

-

succeeds not.so much in empowering women as it does in forcing an audience to become.self aware of their participation in objectifying women, a distinctly feminist goal.

The film was made .by a man, and it is largely aimed a_tmen. It's imperative to keep this 'in mind when you watch it, because although that seems like a non-feminist perspective initially, it presents several male characters in various stages of harming women and asks them which one men in the audience want to be. And that's just it, we're watching her dance, we're enjoying the action - we are the objectifier all along.

We become the final boss that must be defeated. For a man who came to the film to enjoy objectifying women, this is a realization that might just hit him like a sucker punch - right when he wasn't expecting it.

Just like in Chris Nolan's Inception,which also contains layers of fantasy, SuckerPunch ends by turning the fantasy back over to the ' viewer. It reminds them that this fantasy of . theirs is why the whole thing happened.

Though the film can be interpf.et.ed differently, it speaks to the quality of the film that when we came for the mindless fantasy and visual splendor, it can get us thinking pretty deeply about some real issues that can't be ignored.

FRIDAY,APRIL 8th, 2011

.

'

www.ufvcascade.ca

"

13

"

UFV s own 3-on-3 March Madness -Tournament .

,

The competitor's in UFV's annual 3on3 tournament put rivalries aside for a group snapshot. Photo: Paul Esau

Game 4: Team Gallinari vs.

PAUL ESAUthe absence of a three-point line Team Baker House: SPORTS EDITOR (all shots were worth one point in the "robin") really hurt Dino, The Baker House boys were a t may not have been Duke versus who I figured wc1;sthe one player smooth mix of skill and sportsArizona, Ohio versus Kentucky, on our team who could score with manship which scored them a or even Washington versus North any sort of regularity. My outside quick 8-2 lead and kept us from Carolina, but UFV's own 3-on-3 shooting -has always been atro- hating them for it. With big man "March Madness" Tournament cious, and the other two members Eric Anderson banging hard in the had its share of impossible victo- of our team (Alex and Pho) didn't post, and the charismatic Jer~iny ries, game-changing shots, and · seem much better at it, so Dino Doron outside, they were well on heart-breaking defeats. On March was going to have to carry us. the path to ·victory. That is until 26, UFV's street-ballers, weekend I'd done some scouting prior Dino and Agent Pho launched a warriors, and rec league players to the tournament, talking to few crazy comeback that, when the came together in a ferociousJ,ycon- veterans, a'nd there was one name dust settled; kept us rolling in W's. . tested battle for champion' status everyone had mentioned: Wolf- Final score: 11-8Gallinari. of the "3-on-3 division" (not one, pack. As the 3-on-3 equivalent of Game 5: Team Gallinari vs. unfortunately, recognized by the the Los Angeles Lakers, the WolfThe Mustard Tigers: NCAA). They may not have been pack had been in the tourney fiWe lost this game because of the "best of the best'~ since varsity nals in four of the previous events a soft-spoken man with an unplayers are banned from play- · and won the whole thing three pronouncable last name: Kyle ing in the tournament, but they times. Once I saw their team on Lienweber. Team Gallinari was were still men with a tremendous the flo'or--consisting of Masi Mah- out-worked, out-hustled, and gen- . amount of skill and passion for the mood, Jesse Byman, Jacob Fau,th, erally out-performed, although game of basketball. and the monstrous Josh Sharpe, I'm proud to say we out-fouled the When I walked into the gym I agreed with my sources that Tigers by a considerable margin. on Saturday morning, basketball they were probably the favourites Final -score5-11Tigers. shoes clutched in one hand and to win. I also had my eye on the Game 6: Team Gallinari vs.· camera in the other, I didn't know "Mustard Tigers," a team I'd previTHE WOLFPACK: · what to expect. I'd been told that ously played against at the ARC, Coming into this game, Team all eight teams were full and so I and, although consisting entirely Gallinari was 4-1 while the wouldn't get a chance to play, bu~ of volleyball players (I'd usually Wolves had accumulated a perfect I'd brought my gear just in case, say "pansies" but that wa& before five wins. Their gameplan was betting that someone wouldn't I met Peter van Broderode), they to throw it inside to the Incredshow. lt turned out that a whole looked pretty darn scary. ible Hulk (a.k..a.Josh Sharpe) and . team had dropped out Friday The Round Robin watch him ravage the opposition. night, so I sigrl.eda bunch of waivGames 1,2,3: Our plan started with "D'~ended ers and joined "Team Gallinari".

Despite being thrown togeth- with "ino'~and was wearing an atNamed after an Italian NBA er last minute, and employing a tractive pair of purple shorts. Fi~ star, the team consisted of three washed-up small forward in yours nal score: Tie 10-10 other "walk-ins" like me--Alex trulY, Team Gallinari utterly deWe'd done it! We'd killed the "Gallinari" Newby, Dino Se- stroye_dthe competition. We were giant, or at least fought him to a homerovic, and "Pho" (I think this up 3-0 in less time than it takes to draw. Time to celebrate with pizza was his secret agent codename). l say "Cinderella story'~ leaving a and pop courtesy of Student Life, knew two of them from late night trail of bruised pride and angry and watch a good ol' fashioned encounters at the ARC open gym, disbelief in our wake. I_'dlike to · Dunk Comp. The highlight of this so I knew I'd found a solid post in say that it was ·my sick skills that event was Masi Mahmood, whose Alex, and a Globetrotters-worthy carried us, but that would be de- perfect throws were the envy outside shooter in Dino, but I still nying Dino a magical streak where of every amateur dunker in _the figured our chances of progress- he shot 80% or so from the floor. house. Someone's been practicing ing much farther than the round Things were going great until... on the nine-foot hoops, eh Masi? robin were mediocre. In addition,

I

L

ast weekend the Abbotsford Heat won two major games against Grand Rapids in an effort to keep their playoff hopes alive: The two victories allowed them to leap-frog over Toronto, seating Abbotsford four points back of the final playoff spot with a game in hand. With just a handful of games remaining, it is yet to be

tertainment & Sports Centre this season. This has been a disappointment for the Heat ownership group, considering there. are 7,000 seats available. Oearly the team has not taken a. strong hold over the market. · For the Abbotsford Heat to_dedetermined whether the Heat will velop a strong fan base and sellout see some spring hockey. While home games, they need to do one a playoff berth is a long shot, the thing. Win. Everyone knows that Heat are still in the fight. . hockey fans are fickle, especially As the season winds down and hockey fans from the Fraser Valthe golf course is looming, one is. ley - success is necessary to draw left with some questions about the a crowd. If the Heat can begin to future of this organization. play solid hockey on a consistent The Heat averaged 3,755 in at- baSis - and maybe even make a tendance at the Abbotsford En- run in the playoffs, the fans will

This was it, best two out of three, with everything on the line.

At point we had Dino against alpha wolf Jacob Fauth, at post Alex against Masi, and at wing me against Josh Sharpe. The good news was that Josh Sharpe had dislocated his finger, the bad news was it had just made him angry.

Game 1: Dino conjures up a heap of physics~bending insanity, which despite some of the best defense I've ever seen on the part of Jacob Fauth, gives T~am Gallinari an easy lead. Agent Pho subs in and wins the Asian showdown against the Wolfpack's Steve Kim. Alex hits a three. Mr. Sharpe takes me to school, and teaches me a little move called the spin-hook.

Score: 11-7Gallinari.

Game 2: The wolves come out snarling and quickly grab a dominating lead. We counter by adopting the innovative technique of ''hack-a-shaq'~ or, in our case, ''hack-a-sharpe". I score a beautiful four-foot jumper to improve my overall shooting ration to 3%.

It's a massacre. Score: 11-1 Wolfpack Game 3: Sharpe scores, Dino scores, Sharpe scores, Dino scores, Sharpe scores, Dino scores. And yet Sharpe has the rest of the pack to back him up, while Dino has only a secret agent, a sport jour- . nalist, and the dapper Mr. Newby.

In the end, the superior stamina of the Wolfpack spurr them to a commanding 11-7victory.

Champion: THE WOLFPACK Well, it was fun while it lasted, and second is a pretty good placing for a team thrown together five minutes before the beginning of the tournament. ·we all got medals, and Dino took home a much-deserved MVP. After the presentations, I went over to talk to the brains and beauty -of the Wolfpack juggernaut, Jacob Fauth and Masi Mahmood respectively. Both are tourriey veterans who've shown the ability to lead multiple teams to victory. Jacob said something that I thought was very wise, after experiencing the grueling nature of the tournament first-hand: "I think one thing that took over was the fact that we were a yery deep team. Being in this tourna_me;ntI know it's a war of attrition, so I made sure I brought people who were bruisers, defenders, hard workers, because overall, you're playing three games at the end. You've got to have the conditioning."

After playing six hours of basketball I have a deep respect for words like "conditioning" - especially after witnessi_ngJacob's oppressive defense in the final. The man deserved another title, and even though I'm a competitive guy, I don't begrudge him the win.

But next year ...

Go Team Gallinari!

follow.

Inherent with being an NHL affiliate comes an inconsistent roster, and beiilg farm team to the - struggling"Calgary Flames doesn't help. It seems as though whenever a player begins to find his. stride playing for the Heat, he is called up to bring some life to a floundering Calgary team. Names like Kotalik, Neinisz, Bouma, and Backlund have been missed at times throughout the season. While this is a problem for every NHL farm team, it seems that the Heat have had it particularly bad this year.

The success of the Heat is,· in a way, dependent on the success a,nd

health of the Calgary Flames.

The Abbotsford Heat provides something that has been missing in Abbotsford: affordable, entertaining,· professional hockey. 'J'.he question is whether the Heat, farm team to the Calgary Flames {rival· of the Vancouver Canucks, if you hadn't heard), can build up an adequate fari base in a region that is consumed by Canucks hockey.

Fans are -simply unable to differentiate between the Abbotsford Heat and the Calgary Flames. If the Heat hope to develop a fan base, they need to be seen as a local team.

One would hope that local Ab-

Elimination Round:

With the elimination rolll\d came the return of the three-point line, a blessing that Dino would abuse considerably. Baker House, Team Gallinari's first opponent, gave us some stiff competition, but they eventually succumbed to our good looks and high-tempo style.

In the second round, ..team Mustard Tiger took us to a nail-biting 10-9 endgame, providing the opportunity for me, Paul Esau, to try an ill-timed spin move into Peter van Bredode's left pectoral. In the ensuing scramble, falling out of bounds, I threw up a prayer which incredibly, impossibly, sank. It was the only shot_I hit all game, and yet the only one I needed.

Showdown: Team Gallinari vs. THE WOLFPACK:

www.ufvcascade.ca -

14

FRIDAY, APRIL 8th, 2011

IJ1:\f I.1:1;1:NI)S 1>1:·1·-1: II \f i\ N 13111: ll I:II ()I)1: PAUL ESAU This is my third and final year.

SPORTS EDITOR I have years of eligibility left, but fm graduating and moving on in Whereare you from? life. Unfortunately, in the last two Mission, BC. Born and raised years, we have seen a several fifth year players graduate and this year was a bit of a rebuilding year Howdid you start playing in terms of leadership and charac~ volleyball? ter.

In Grade 8 I saw there were high school tryouts. I had never played What has been your fuourite before, but I thought I would give memoryas part of the team? it a try. I was quite terrible - I don't .think I saw any court time until Last year'i, trip to San Diego had some great highlights. We Grade 10. played beach volleyball over New Howdid you find your way to Years - how awesome is that? .

UFV? It was local, affordable, and offered a Bachelor of Business. My high school encouraged students to look at post secondary options. I did and UFV seemed like the best choice. .

Howlong have you played for the UFVmen'svolleyballteam, and howhave . you seen the team grow or improveduringyour time as a part ol it?

lion, the drive to succeed. I love working toward a common goal with close friends and being able to dedicate a large part of my life to a sport I enjoy.

Whathave you most appreciated about beinga part of the UFVcommunity?

It's tight knit, everyone seems to know each other and it's usually a fun time .

In one sentence,what is the most importantpiece of advice you have for students of UFV?

What'sone thing you'vereally Take school seriously, what you appreciatedabout coach · accomplish here lays the foundaGreg Russell? tion for future success.

His experience and knowledge of the game has helped me learn a lot about the sport and myself.

Whatis it that has kept you playingvolleyballthrough your universitycareer?What do you love about it?

The 'teammates,

the competi-

Andfinally,where are you goingfrom here?

I'm graduating with my BBA in a few weeks and getting married this Fall. I will be working fulltime as .a marl<eting coordinator and I hope to atten_d grad school for my MBA in a couple years.

$ports You've Never Heard Of:

Photo: Tree Frog Imaging

Name: Peter Van Brederode

Height: 6'1

Age: 21

Sport: Volleyball

Eye Colour: Blue

Slapshot: Chilliwack Loses MAlTHEW TANNERSpokane winning 4-2.

AirS_ex

ost of us have seen the-movie Slapshot, and many of us love it. The struggling Charlestown Chiefs capture the hearts and minds of their fans, moments before being sold and relocated by a greedy owner, ripping the team away from those so endeared to them. What the fans went through supporting their team, even though ·all hope seemed lost is what Chilliwack Bruins fans have been living in themselves the last few months. The big difference between the Bruins and the fictional Chiefs is that the Chiefs went on a Hollywood fairytale run in the playoffs, winning the Championship. Reality and Hollywood are two different worlds that didn't collide for the Bruins faithful.

The Chilliwack Bruins, amid numerous rumours of the- team being sold and relocated to Victoria, continued their first round playoff series againstthe Spokane Chiefs. The Bruins, down 2-0 in the series, rolled into the visitors' arena and stole a victory from the jaws of defeat. The Bruins rallied back from a three goal deficit to win the game in overtime 4.-3.The big heroes on the night were Lucas Gore, who ~ade 54 saves, and Kevin Sundher, who scored the game tying and winning goals for the Bruins. This game was a must win for the Chilliwack squad.

The next night the Bruins kept it close, as they had in most of the series, but didn't have enough to pull out the win. The Bruins, pres~ · suring iriihe late third period and down by a goal, were pushing Spo. kane to their limits, but the Chiefs didn't buckle urider the pressure.

With 49 seconds left, Chiefs forward Steven Kuhn scored an empty net gpal. The game ended with

M

AI.EIWAmNS NEWSEDITOR mmature (and virginal) axeslinging tweens have been comparing guitar playing to the act of sex with a nu4,ge and a grin since the instrument was invented, so it seemed only a matter of time before air guitar was taken to the next level as well. And suddenly, lo and behold, along came the sport that answe:redeveryone's prayers: air sex.

The sport is said to have been makes it to the finals in Los Angeconceived in 2006 in Tokyo, Japan les this fall.

There are few rules to the comby a bunch of bored men without girlfriends. And while all ·of the petition; participants may use any honor and distinction that comes number of props, costumes, and with being the inventors of air techniques to add interest to their performance and impress both au~ sex is unlikely to have alleviated the men's plight, they can at least dience and judges, and· teams are sleep a little easier in knowing it allowed - though, because this has grown into a worldwide phe- is air sex, their partners must all nomena - the sport has since been still be imaginary. All competi.:. featured in part of the BBC Three tors have two precious minutes to documentary Japanorama, and show pf£ their technique, which took the US by storm in 2007 when can include the preparatory sethe Alamo Drafthouse Cinema in duction and foreplay or simply get straight to the point.

Austin beg.an staging bimonthly As the competition's official air sex competitions, luring competitors from f!3r and wid~ with Facebook page explains, "You choose a clip of music, you show promises of glory and p.re~ge.

In 2009, the Alamo Dt;af\house up in whatever sort of wardrobe took the_competition on the road, you like, and you come up on stage visiting 14 cities around the world and show everyone how you do it. . in search of the biggest, baddest Or how you wish you could do it. air sex competitor who ever lived. Or how you once had it done to Los · Angeles' "Shanghai Slam- you, and oh my god was that a bad mer" was crowned the first-ever idea and while it's embarrassing to show that act to a room of strangworld champion after thoroughly licking the competition. The Air ·ers, you know that you need to do Sex World. Championships' third · it now in order to make sure that no qne else falls dpwn_ the same season is now officially underway, beginning with a series of.prelimi- rabbit hole you got stuck inside." nary rounds that will decide who Perhaps the most_ entertaining

So, it all came down to game five in Spokane. By this point, the rumours of the team being sold had reached a boiling point with Chilliwack Bruins minority-owner Moray Keith confirming that an agreement of sale to Victoria . based RG Properties was in place.

The focus had shifted from a hope that the team would win the series to a longing for just one more home game at the Prospera Centre in Chilliwack. Thousands of Bruins fans listened and watched, praying and hoping for the Bruins to win game five so that a proper send off could occur - a final goodbye to the team and players they had so vigourously supported over five years. The Bruins tied the game at 3-3 in the second, after falling behind early. Spokane found a way to get a fourth goal on Lucas Gore. Early in the third period the "Cardiac Kids" came back fo tie the game again, as Minnesota Wild draft pick Dylen McKinlay evened ·the game up at 4-4. Just minutes later, the Bruins g-0t the chance they were waj.ting for. Brandon Manning, with room at the point, wound up for a blistering slapshot. The puck was-on goal, beat the goaltender, but at the last moment ricocheted off the crossbar and out of play. The next shift the Spokane Chiefs Blake Gal scored the game winning goal, his third of the night.

Bruins play-by-play man Randy Merkley's voice could be heard cracking, almost as if he knew he'had just called his last Chilliwack Bruins game. In the post game show, the fans fears were confirmed. Assistant coach Enio Sacilotto thanked and apologi~ed to the fans for what was happening. Sacilotto said ''The fa'ns here deserve better, but that's out of my hands." ·

RESIDENT BRUINSEXPERT

I

Graphic:RandonaBushell aspect of the sport is that the sexu. al partner in question does not actually need to be human. Point in case: competitor Milo HarknessSmith, who performed in the 2010 championship under the alias Simon the Duck ... um ... Copulater.

As a part of his routine, Simon used chunks of bread in order to lure the imaginary ducks that he then made sweet, feathery love to.

Due to the nature of the venues that air sex events are held at, there are a few strict limitations. American laws require that participants must remain at least partially clothed (ie:junk covered) in establishments that serve alcohol, and that all orgasms must be strictly feigned in places that serve food.

Air Sex host Chris Trew told the Sun that, regardless of costume or imagined sexual partner, the most import~t aspect of the competition is· that athletes demonstrate total commitment to their performance, noting '1f you're having sex with a goat, then I wanna see 'you stroking its horns. I want that goat to b_eturned on."

FRIDAY,APRIL 8th, 2011

15

www.ufvcascade.ca

A· President to remember JOEL SMART Hockey League. However, that SPORTS EDITOR was assuming the number one team in the Eastern Conference, ogers Arena loomed · larg~. the Philadelphia Flyers, won all of "Don't worry," he told me as their remaining games. we walked towards it. "We'll have We spent the drive to this no problem finding seats." I'm March 31 game against the Los not worried. If you can say noth- Angeles Kings without the radio, ing else about the guy, he knows so we were blissfully unaware how to get into a game. The man of the drama that was unfolding has attended some of the largest in the Flyers game - a game that ·games in the last couple years, would set the stage for an intense including several at the Olympics battle in Vancouver. in Vancouver; this year he'd seen Sure enough, we found seats. both outdoor NHL games. The at- We quickly got in line and were mosphere leading into this game rushed through the arena doors, was surprisingly tense, given the handed complimentary Johnny Canucks had pulled away so far Canuck toques as we b.ustled toin points from every major con- . wards our gate: 122. "Lower bowl! tender. Tonight was about some- I can't believe it," I thought. "Agh, thing. Tonight wa~ going to make right behind the net, less ideal."

Canucks history.

But, being just 21 rows up, it ended .

Just two nights previous, a up being about the best view for Canucks 3-1 victory agatnst the the two prettiest goals of the game.

Nashville Predators was all it took After we watched the team to clinch the Western Conference,• practice, we glimpsed at the "Out their first time ever locking up of of Town Scoreboard" and there it the title. Afterward, hockey math- was - Philadelphia had lost. Vanematicians were qui<;kto discover couver would only need two more that just four more points were points, a single win. necessary to clinch the number There we sat, about to watch one spot in the entire National a game that could see the Ca. .

R

nucks clinch their first ever Presidents' trophy. Thankfully, we liad brought some good luck charms: I wore a classic 1994-era Skate Jer-. sey with Linden's name plastered on the back. Justin had a 2003 Retro Rink Jersey; also a number 16.

Global TV had asked to film them for a segment before we'd even made it into the building.

Considering the lack of competition in the standings, the game on the ice was fierce. They were playing for keeps. Huge checks were the name of the game. Sitting this low to the ice, the sound of a completed pass was louder than ever. The_thud of a crushing hit into the b9ards was only topped by the corresponding roar from the crowd. · Then a goal went-in. It went in against the Canucks. The sight of it, just a few feet away, was nauseating. I'd already been to a losing affair this year. But with over two periods left to play, there was hope! A power play to end the period saw the Canucks tally back. It was the perfect finish to ·a period - except that the ref immediately waved it off. Time had already ex-

Interviewwith Derek Grant Abb~tsford kiddrafted bytheSentors, hopes toplayin·theNHL

line. This time it stood! The Capired. Blast!

A renewed vigour after the in- nucks would head into the third termission saw the Canucks be- period with a lead! gin to dominate play. Neverthe~ Well, that third period came less, the quality scoring ·chances and went without a single shot seemed limited. Then, all of a ·on net by the Kings. What a persudden, paniel Sedin ,was on a formance by the Canucks, who dangerous looking 2-on-l. Would scored a late power play goal after h.e shoot or pass? At the last sec- Los Angeles took a major boardon4 he cut right into the middle of ing penalty on Chris Tanev. His the ice and let the shot off. Drew upper body injury just adds to the Doughty belted him to the ice in list of injuries that have plagued a blindside hit that caught every- - the Canucks all season long, but it one off guard, but it was too late. didn't stop the Canucks from hitThe puck was in the net. Tie game! ting the highest possible regular The place went into a frenzy. Beers season plateau - a Presidents' trowere spilled and high fives were phy. Daniel Sedin, with two points had. Then,. with seconds counting on the night, hit 100 points even. off the dock at the tail end of the He is clearly a large part of the period, another dangerous rush team's success this year, with his by the Canucks had fans fearful of brother only a few points behind. another disallowed goal to close .The Canucks came out and raised the period. Sure enough, right at their sticks to the crowd and a the buzzer the puck crossed the standing ovation was in order.

Jon "Bones"Jones Don'tBelieve theHype

TREVORFIKtoe-to-toe with the likes of ForSTAFF WRITER. rest Griffin, has not exchanged year with their AHL affiliate,' the STAFF WRITER Binghamton Senators. After my punches with Rampage Jackson, erek Grant was born in Ab- sophomore year at Michigan State, ith Jon "Bones"Jones' dis- and has not.been tested with the botsford almost 21 years ago, I decided to sign a contract with . mantling of Mauricio Sho- wrestling pedigree of Rashad Evstanding at six-foot-three and Ottawa and turn pro, and then I gun Rua at UFC 128, the UFC ans. Jones beat lesser opponents weighing in at 190pound·s; Grant's came to Binghamton_ a few days crowned its youngest champion and was only offered a title shot recent hockey success have made after we were knocked out of the ever, and the light-heavyweight after Jackson declined a meeting .his hometown proud. Receiving playoffs. Next year I will attend division has been set ablaze with with Shogun. . . a scholarship to Michigan State the training camp and try to earn talks that the dominance that has And while Jones was more University in 2008, Grant left Ab- a spot in O~awa (but I will likely permeated the middleweight and than capable of stepping ·up to botsford to pursue his dreams of start the year in the AHL again.) weltetweight titles has finally the challenge of Shogun, he did making it big. Mostly playing left seeped into the 205-pound weight so against a competitor that was wing, bu~ occasionally filling in as I'm sure MichiganState has class. · tired, sloppy, and not the same . a centre or right wing, Grant was had a big influenceon your And while 23-year-old Jones fighter who tamed Lyoto "The 18 when he was first drafted. In skills,is that fair to say? has accomplished more in his Dragon" Machida at UFC 113.For 2008, during the fourth round of three-year tenure with the sport a fighter who has made a career the NHL Entry Draft, Grant was .of mixed martial-arts (MMA) than oµt of remarkabJe wins, Shogun selected by the Ottawa Senators.

Michigan State has helped me a most coinpetitors .do in their en- looked quite unremarkable. By . \ Grant is almost. done his educa- lot and prepared me for the jump tire career, Jones has not faced the the second round, Jones himself tion at Michig!ln State, and from •into pro hockey;°also, since I have · calibre of opponents necessary • looked fatigued, and it was only there, Abbotsford will have a new been here in Binghamton, I have Wereyour coachesalways to gamer such legendary status. beqmse Shogun's cardio was that hockey hero to cheer for. Checking ' also le.irned a lot. . · Likewise, Jones' championship qi.uch more awful that he was able the oneswhoprovidedyou in with Grant, he filled me in with win came off of an opponent who to come away with the win. withthe bestadvice? his latest news and how he got Haveyou learnedmostof looked like a shell of his former While this article might come where he is today: self, and the victory exposed some off as Jones-bashing from an armyour hockeyskillsin AbbotsProbably my parents. They were glaring weaknesses l.n "Bones" chair MMA enthusiast, I am not ford? always telling me to work harder game that are sure to be picked writing off Jones as some kind Whatare you mostproudof .

I learned a lot of what I know than the guys I was playing with apart in his first title defence of lucky slacker who happened in your hockeycareer right now £rom -minor hockey and or against. I was a lot smaller than against former teammate Rashad to waltz into his wins undeservnow? spring hockey back home. I still most players when I was younger Evans. . ingly. Jones will surely be a force train in Abbotsford in the sum- and was often overlooked.

While many have hailed Jones in the light-heavyweight division I am most proud of being draft- mers as well. I go to the rink evunpredictable style as something for years to come, and with the ed and signing a pro-contract with eryday, no matter where I am; I'm What have been someof of a revelation in the octagon, I see experience that inevitably accomthe Ottawa Senators. always learning. But, back in Ab- your biggestobstacles? it more as a sign of inexperience. panies more time in the octagon, botsford, I think every year was a .

Jones is not 'Royce Gracie, and is Jones may well be the prodigy that little different in how it helped me. not ushering in the era of some un- many are claiming him_to be. I for Haveyour goalschanged Moving away from home was foreseen new form of martial arts. one, however, will not jump on sinceyou have been in Michi- Abbotsford has always had a very good hockey program. Growing definitely tough, but we had a re- . He throws spinning back hands the Jones' bandwagon until I see gan state? · up with high calibre players al- ally close team my freshman year and kicks because it confuses the man do something worth worways pushed me to do better. We of college which helped out a lot... fighters and because, ~n his infan- shipping him for. · I don't think my goals have always had a good team and could When you start to play juniol' cy, he .sees the moves as cool new UFC fans have notoriously changed; I still want to play in the· compete with the other top players hockey it begins to become a job; tricks to try out in the cage. Proper short-term memories, but I do NHL. I think when I was young- in the province. you are at the rink nearly every · execution of these techniques re- recall many throwing the same er it was "I want to get drafted." . day. While in college one of the · quires a pedigree of MMA that is praise on Machida just two years Once I was drafted it was a,bout Did you have a particular biggest challenges was time man- far abov.e what Jones is currently earlier. "The Dragon'' will now "earning a contract." Now that I coachin Abbotsfordthat agement and making sure I was capable of, and because of all the be fighting for •his career at UFChave that, it has been about earn7 influencedyou? organized. Now playing profes- Jones hype he has been able to 129 against ageing fighter Randy ing a spot in the line-up in Ottawa. sionally, one of the most impbr- masquerade sloppy .technique as Couture. The. speed at which the That's my ultimate goal. tant challenges is taking care of the second coming of martial arts. opinion of MMA fans can change I had several coaches; buf the [my] body.

While Jones was not wholly'un- after a couple of losses, and with one that has helped me the ~ost deserving of a title shot, he was the light-heavyweight title exI thinkyour goalsare shaphas been Brad Bowen. I started Howwouldyou sumup your not the logical next choice to face changing holders about as m\lch ing up nicely.Whatare you playing for him when I was about experience,Derek?

Shogun. Other t?an Ryan Bader, ' as Chael Sonnen trades insults, doingwhilewaitingto start efght-years-old, and I still train . Jones had not previously seen the shows that it does not take much playingfor the Senators? with him when I come home in the It has been an unbelievable ex- quality of opponent that the top for the deepest division in the summers. perience. I am lucky to have had ten of the light-heavyweight di- UFC to offer up a new and worthy I am currently finishing out the the opportunities_ that I have had. vision holds. Jones has not gone competitor.

ALISIEMENS.

D

W

.

~

.

A

------

~.

-

_..______.j:

~

.

C

.

E

~

________ Nm ~ ~.-----..~· .. -=1EWL·, ~

I

•

...___

.____,B, E@jl

The-Resultsareiii: yourPres'iae'iitCarlos Vidal. youv Vice ~PresidentAcademic Kate Nickelchok youF Vite~Pie_jJd~_vt·East Amara V~nderveen yo11r~ lCi&eiBreildtnt Einancial Samuel Broadfoot you~ Vice P,ies1de11t<Jr,ternqJ: Devon McHardy; your~Vice PresiJl,_ent S-Ok.f4l Andy Wild you:rl!botiginal RepresentativeEric• .A derson your:JnternaiionalStudent-Representative·Byeoftgjti( Stev.e) Kiri1 your ResidenceRepres~ntativeZack·Soderstrom your Students with Disabilities Representative Debbie Ellis your Rep at Large Vinu Abraham your Rep at Large Dustin Anderlini your Rep at Large Desmond Devnich your Rep at Large Tristan Gibson your Rep at Large Chad Hilton your Rep at Large Jay Mitchell your Rep at L~rge Ryan Petersen your Rep at Large Mehtab Singh Rai your Rep at Large David Williams

The full Elections Officer Report is available at

· www.ufvSUS.ca UFV Student Uni~n Society@focebook.com • ENGAGE yo11:r New SUS!