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Texas Twister March 2015

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March, 2015

Texas Twister


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March, 2015

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A Spanish singer chatting on television used the word ‘manana’. When asked what that meant, he said it means “maybe the job will be done to-morrow, maybe the next day, maybe the day after that, next week, next month or next year. Who cares?” An Irishman in the conversation, Shay Brennan, was then asked if there’s an Irish equivalent. “No. In Ireland we don’t have a word to describe that level of urgency” ***** Two Irishmen met and one said to the other, “Have ye seen Mulligan lately, Pat?” Pat said, “Well, I have and I haven’t.” His friend asked, “well what d’ye mean by that?” Pat said, “It’s like this, y’see…I saw a chap who I thought was Mulligan, and he saw a chap that he thought was me. And when we got up to one another…it was neither of us.” ***** Murphy was selling his house, and put the matter in an agent’s hands. The agent wrote up a sales blurb for the house that made wonderful reading. After Murphy read it, he turned to the agent and asked, “Have I got all you say there?” The agent said, Certainly ye have…Why do you ask? Murphy replied, cancel the sale, the place sounds grand to me. ***** Walking into the pub, Patick said to the bartender, “Pour me astiff one, Sean. I just had another tiff with the little woman.” “Oh yeah,” said Sean. “And how did this one end?” “Well I’ll tell ya now when it was over,” Patick replied, “herself came to me on her hands and knees, she did.” “You don’t say? Now that`s a switch! What did she say?” She said, “Come out from under that bed, you gutless weasel!


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S-E-S-Q-U-I-P-E-D-A-L-I-A-N {given to using long words} By Ginger Lane Sandee Farmer is a sesquipedalian! How’s that for using a word that no one else on the planet uses in their daily lives… or ever! (I had to search for that word, by the way.) Folks! Sandee and I have been working together for years. Through thick and thin, we’ve done all kinds of projects and she’s not only the editor of Texas Twister Publications; she’s my friend. We agree to disagree on a lot of things but her use of these alien words keeps me flying to Wikipedia all the time. I keep asking her how long she had to wait to use that special word of the day and she swears it is in her everyday language. I think in our daily conversing she does a quick search for a big word for the topic we are discussing so she can just throw me for a loop. I’ve been saving up for a couple of months to use this article while building up my ammunition. Here’s an extreme example of her words in one sentence. As a hominid, I feel I should be venerable and not invidious like tatterdemalions who extrapolate in a feckless manner. I can only take so much caterwauling and only in modicums! Now the definitions of her words I’ve been saving up! Caterwauling - (to protest or complain noisily) Modicum - (a small portion) Feckless - (ineffective) Hominid - (any primate of the family Hominid, which includes modern man) Venerable - (old and respected) Invidious - (tending to arouse resentment) Extrapolate - (to form an opinion) Tatterdemalion - (a shabby person) Sandee is positive there are a lot of people who use words like this and I’m sure they have only been written in dictionaries. If you have someone in your life that pulls from the far reaches of the galaxy to use words no one else has ever heard before, I want you to know I understand and maybe we could start a support group called FOFON (Friends or Family of Nerds.) Her response is that if she makes people go to the dictionary, she’s done a good deed. She has given them a learning experience. My response is to just say it in Texan!


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March, 2015 Dear Parents, Let’s talk about immunization! I am a 62 year old female, born in 1952. I got the usual vaccines back then, and thank you God for small pox vaccine. I missed out on that one. I have one small scar on my hip from the shot. My parents were so glad they had that vaccine as they knew the horrors of it from their childhood. But, back then, there was nothing for mumps, measles (3 – day or German) or chicken pox. My childhood was filled with a lot of very sick, very miserable days! Days out of school, days where you couldn’t go outside. Days spent with socks tied to my hands and feet so I couldn’t scratch the chicken pox places. I remember polio. I got that vaccine and I was spared from that. I had every childhood illness that went around, mumps first on one side then the other and both times they were extreme cases. I had all the symptoms that went along with it; face pain, headache, muscle ache, sore throat, fever and the swelling was awful! They gave my sister the “new measles” vaccine. She came home with a few spots, never got very sick at all and never stopped playing. Me, I had a very bad case of German measles that I like to remind her I might have gotten from her! Day after day spent in a darkened room because I had the German measles so bad they were afraid for my vision. And I do have bad vision now and it makes me wonder if it would be better if I had been able to get the vaccine. I missed days of school with each illness and it put me behind the others in class. It was hard to catch up. Having these illnesses affected me in so many negative ways. And, even if your child has a mild case like my sister always did, the child they expose might not have the same reaction. There are children with weak immune systems due to being born with them or maybe they are fighting cancer, liver or kidney disease or any number of things. Your child might breeze through the illness but some could be fatal for whoever they infect. As someone who suffered through these childhood diseases, it is hard for me to understand why you would choose not to vaccinate. And, whether you choose to take advantage of modern medicine or not, I just wanted you to have an opinion from someone who wishes they’d had the opportunities that are available today. My childhood would have a lot more sweet memories if I could have skipped them. One day your child might be thinking the same thing that I am.

Sincerely, Debby Mertens. Someone Who Wasn’t Vaccinated Because The Vaccines Didn’t Exist

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Texas Twister storage space…like mine. This time, I designated an entire room just for the things I have no need for at all. After all, I’m not going to throw it away so I decided to give it a room all its own. I’m properly calling it the ‘junk’ room and it’s totally disorganized and out of sight. I’m very happy with this arrangement. Good luck with your upcoming spring cleaning. For me, I’m done. Who knows….maybe by next year I’ll organize the junk room... or not!

ARGGHHHH!! I HATE CLEANING!

By Ginger Lane

I just did my spring cleaning. Early… I know and I should actually call it my annual cleaning. I just realized the part I hate the worst is dusting. OH, you thought dusting as more of a weekly thing? HAHAHA! Welcome to my world and except for the occasional ‘swipe’, I’m not prone to moving 20,000 knick knacks weekly! Dust Bunnies. What’s up with that? They should call it devil dust or monster mash or anything but dust bunnies. That gives dust an edge over our true feelings. First, I have a problem with whoever named it dust bunnies. That’s a cutesy name for the mutant particles I find in my house. It’s ridiculous to name that sneaky, no use, low down formation like it is a pet. “Sneaky?”, you ask. Definitely. Dust forms in places nothing else could possible get to. I pick up an item that is practically solid and flat on a table and hasn’t been moved in a while and there it is! Layers upon layers. How’d it even get under there? And, it’s evenly spread. Have you ever noticed that it doesn’t have hills and valleys? Evenly distributed, EVERYWHERE! It’s like it has a mind of its own. And, yes, I may have given too much thought about this. And, can’t anybody figure out how to make the perfect mop? The really big ones made of cotton actually work best for me. But without one of those industrial type buckets and squeezers, you can’t get the proper amount of water out. Then, you have to pour out the remaining water (ugh!) and storing the bucket takes up a lot of room in the pantry while the mop never gets dry. The smaller sponge mops are easier to handle, but they are a joke on anything bigger than a four by four sized room. I did see a woman in a comedy movie with a wet towel and she stood on it while dancing around the kitchen. Hmmm. My kind of cleaning. One more pet peeve is houses without enough


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Donncha and MacArthur are preparing to be blasted into space and have just left the mission briefing when one turns to the other and says, ‘Mac, where are we goin?’ MacArthur replies, ‘Well Donncha, the man in charge said we are on a mission to the sun.’ ‘OK,’ says Donncha, he thinks for a while and then asks, ‘Won’t it be a bit hot, it being the sun and all?’ ‘Don’t be stupid, Donncha,’ says MacArthur, ‘the man said we’d be going at night.’ ***** A ventriloquist is telling Irish jokes in Davy Byrne’s pub in Grafton Street, Dublin, when, O’Leary, an irate Irishman stands up shouting, ‘You’re making out we’re all dumb and stupid. I oughtta punch you in the nose.’ ‘I’m sorry sir, I...........’ ‘Not you,’ says O’Leary, ‘I’m talking to that little fella on your knee.’ ***** An Irishman, by the name of O’Malley proposed to his girl on St. Patrick’s Day. He gave her a ring with a synthetic diamond. The excited young lass showed it to her father, a jeweller. He took one look at it and saw it wasn’t real. The young lass on learning it wasn’t real returned to her future husband. She protested vehemently about his cheapness. ‘It was in honour of St. Patrick’s Day, ‘he smiled. ‘I gave you a sham rock.’


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O’Gara was arrested and sent for trial for armed bank robbery. After due deliberation, the jury foreman stood up and announced, ‘Not guilty.’ ‘That’s grand,’ shouted O’Gara, ‘Does that mean I get to keep the money?’ ***** “Hey,” said a new arrival in the pub, “I’ve got some great Irish jokes.” “Before you start,” said the big bloke in the corner, “, I’m Irish.” “Don’t worry,” said the newcomer, “I’ll tell the jokes slowly.” ***** ‘I had an accident opening a can of alphabeti spaghetti this morning,’ said Murphy. ‘Were you injured?’ inquired Seamus. ‘No, but it could have spelled disaster,’ concluded Murphy. ***** His wife had been killed in an accident and the police were questioning Finnegan. “Did she say anything before she died?” asked the sergeant. “She spoke without interruption for about forty years,” said the Irishman. ***** An Irishman and an American were sitting in the bar at Shannon Airport. “I’ve come to meet my brother,” said the Irishman. “He’s due to fly in from America in an hour’s time. It’s his first trip home in forty years”. “Will you be able to recognize him?” asked the American. “I’m sure I won’t,” said the Irishman, “after all, he’s been away for a long time”. “I wonder if he’ll recognize you?” said the American. “Of course he will,” said the Irishman. “Sure, an’ I haven’t been away at all”.

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Spring Fever One spring day I was taking the roll in my secretarial class at our local technical college. One of the sun worshipers was absent. “Cindy won’t be here this afternoon?” I asked. “She went home to lay in the sun,” a young woman in the front row answered. Trying to correct her grammar without embarrassing her before the class, I whispered, “Lie.” Okay,” she replied in astonishment. “Cindy got sick and went home.” ***** Sleepless Saving Time Twice a year, we change the clocks for daylight-savings time. And twice a year, my normally punctual assistant arrives late to work the Monday after we do so. I finally had to find out why. “Do you have a problem remembering to spring forward or fall back?” I asked. “Oh, no,” she said, pouring herself a cup of coffee. “What gets to me is staying up until 2 a.m. to change my clock.” ***** Signs of Spring In Ohio Spring is always eagerly awaited after the long, cold winters. When I arrived at work one day in mid-March, I noticed a sign gaily decorated with flowers and butterflies. It read: “Think Spring.” The first day of spring blew in with a snowstorm and freezing temperatures; however, another flowery sign was posted. This time the message read: “Forget Spring. Think Summer.”


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March, 2015 19 Things that Took Me 50 Years to Learn 1. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings”. 3. There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.” 4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. 5. And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle. 6. You should not confuse your career with your life. 7. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously. 8. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy. 9. Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance. 10. Never lick a steak knife. 11. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie. 12. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip. 13. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time. 14. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment. 15. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11. 16. “The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers. 17. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them. 18. A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter is not a nice person. 19. Your friends love you anyway.

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ARKANSAS RESIDENTS! NEW QUARTER RECALL Hang on to any of the new State of Arkansas quarters. If you have them, they may be worth much more than 25 cents. The U.S. Treasury announced today that it is recalling all of the Arkansas quarters that are part of its program featuring quarters from each state. “We are recalling all the new Arkansas quarters that were recently issued,” Treasury Undersecretary Jack Shackleford said Monday. “This action is being taken after numerous reports that new quarters will not work in parking meters, toll booths, vending machines, pay phones, or other coin-operated devices”. The quarters were issued in the order in which the various states joined the U.S. and have been a tremendous success among coin collectors worldwide. “The problem lies in the unique design of the Arkansas quarter, which was created by a University of Arkansas graduate,” Shackleford said. “Apparently, the duct tape holding the two dimes and the nickel together keeps jamming the coin-operated devices.” ***** Men Should Listen A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other the woman leans out the window and yells, “PIG!!” The man immediately leans out his window and replies, “WITCH!!” They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road.

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The Caddo Mills Independent School District Education Foundation recently awarded more than $30,000 to the four different Caddo Mills campuses. The grants will be used to purchase new technology, books and other equipment to improve student learning.

Caddo Mills High School and Middle School collected 1165 pair of jeans for teens in homeless shelters. This was a Teens for Jeans through Aeropostale. Great Job Students!


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After giving a speech at an elementary school, President Bush allows the kids to ask a few questions. One little boy, Billy, gathers the courage to raise his hand and asks, “How come you invaded Iraq without the support of the U.N.?” Just as Bush begins to answer, the recess bell rings and he says they’ll continue afterward. Half an hour later the kids come back inside. “Where were we?” says George. “Oh, yes - does anyone want to ask me anything?” A different boy raises his hand and says, “I have three questions: First, why did you invade Iraq without support from the U.N.? Why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early? And third, where the heck is Billy?”

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Quinlan ISD...There’s an App for That! Easier, Faster, Quicker Communications Right on your Smart Phone...Download our New App Today!

Texas Association of School Board’s Business Recognition Program Honors Quinlan Businesses

Five businesses were honored last night for their outstanding support of the students and schools in Quinlan Independent School District. American National Bank of Texas - Quinlan Branch Brookshire’s Food and Pharmacy of Quinlan D. Earls Tax Service of Quinlan Slaughter Insurance Agency Walmart Supercenter of Quinlan “We are grateful for the generosity of each of these businesses and their commitment to help make a real difference for our kids and this community,” said Dr. Debra Crosby, QISD Superintendent. This year, these businesses have donated goods and services at extremely high levels, which made a significant difference for our district. “Our students, parents, and teachers directly benefit from companies such as this that are willing to stand up for public schools, not just in words but in their actions. We applaud these community partners for their participation and hope that this will continue to be a strong relationship in years to come,” she said. The district serves approximately 2542 students at four campuses and employees more than 375 people.

Way To Go FHS Power Cats Robotics Team Next up: Super Regional Championships The Ford High School Power Cats Robotics team won the FIRST Tech Challenge Southwest Regional Alliance Championship on Saturday, Feb. 14, at University of Texas at Arlington. The Power Cats were among twenty-eight teams from the northern half of Texas to compete in the southwest regionals. The team now advances to the southwest super-regional championships to be held on March 13,14,and 15 in San Antonio, Texas. The team is under the leadership of FHS Robotics Teacher, Steven Bucholtz.


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Texas Twister

ROOFING

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SELLING YOUR PROPERTY? Check out our newest magazine: East Texas Properties or go online at: www.easttexaspropertiesmagazine.com


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March, 2015

Prove all things; hold fast that which is good. 1 Thessalonians 5:21

When one retires, one discovers that they

have ample time to sit around and contemplate their bellybutton…although, at my age, it’s difficult to discern my bellybutton from a wrinkle!

While in meditation, a couple of questions have

crossed my aging mind; questions which are directed at the evolutionary community.

Herbert Spencer, after reading Darwin’s On the

Origin of Species, coined the expression “survival of the fittest” which Darwin subsequently used in some of his writings, in conjunction with the term “natural selection”, regarding the theory of evolution.

Furthermore, from what I can ascertain, there

seems to be a consensus amongst venerable scientists that we began this evolutionary journey somewhere in Africa…although, I believe at this point, they are still debating over who was our ancestral ape-daddy. They do, however, illustrate him as a very hairy hominid.

So, my first question is, since we ‘evolved’ in

Africa…alongside our “cousin” Chimpanzees…where, when, and why did we lose our hair? If our “cousins” still have their hair…and presumably need it to survive… what happened to ours and why did we lose it?

Moreover, and possibly more important, who

came up with the idea of skinning the hide off of another animal and using it as a garment? Offhand, I can’t think of any other ‘beast’ in the animal kingdom, past or present, that slaughters another animal and wears the victim’s skin. What was originally the purpose of this action… necessity or vanity? If it was necessity, why, as we are supposedly the ‘fittest’ of the species, did it become essential?

Fortunately, Christians have a much easier time

of answering this question…Genesis 3:21: Unto Adam also and to his wife did the LORD God make coats of skins, and clothed them.

Now, back to my belly button…

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Howdy Texas Twister Fans, I hope this finds all of you doing really well. I want to wish my sweet Husband a Happy 41st Anniversary this month. I also want to thank him for taking such good care of me and I love you very much! Please if you see a service man or woman, past or present, please let them know how much you appreciate them for keeping this old USA free and safe. I want to thank the families for giving their all and God Bless them. I know that your loved ones didn’t die for nothing! They are now in God’s hands. I hope you enjoy these recipes.

Veggie Sausage-Cheddar Frittata

Prep Time: 5 minutes Cook Time: 11 minutes Yield: 4 servings (serving size: 2 wedges) Ingredients • Cooking spray • 1 green bell pepper, chopped • 1 (8-ounce) package pre sliced mushrooms • 4 (1.3-ounce) frozen vegetable protein sausage patties, thawed and crumbled

• 1/8 teaspoon salt • 1/8 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper • 1 cup egg substitute • 1/4 cup fat-free half-and-half • 1/2 cup (2 ounces) shredded reduced-fat sharp Cheddar cheese Instructions: Place a 12-inch ovenproof nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Coat pan with cooking spray. Add chopped bell pepper and mushrooms; saute 3 minutes. Add sausage, salt, and pepper; reduce heat to mediumlow, and cook 1 minute. Combine egg substitute and half-and-half; carefully pour over sausage mixture. Cover and cook 6 minutes. (Frittata will be slightly moist on top.) Sprinkle with cheese. Broil 1 to 2 minutes or until cheese melts. Cut into 8 wedges. Nutritional Information Calories per serving: 184 Calories from fat: 29% Fat per serving: 5.9 g Saturated fat per serving: 2.5 g Monounsaturated fat per serving: 0.7 g Polyunsaturated fat per serving: 1.4 g Protein per serving: 21 g Carbohydrates per serving: 10.4 g Fiber per serving: 3.2g Cholesterol per serving: 11 mg Iron per serving: 3.7 mg Sodium per serving: 588 mg Calcium per serving: 154 mg

Texas Twister Honey Grapefruit with Banana

Prep: 5 minutes. When you’re hungry for breakfast at suppertime, enjoy a bowl of this sweet minted fruit with an omelet.( If you have high blood pressure, you could substitute the grapefruit for oranges) • Yield: 3 servings (serving size: 1 cup) • Ingredients • 1 (24-ounce) jar refrigerated red grapefruit sections (about 2 cups) • 1 cup sliced banana (about 1) • 1 tablespoon fresh chopped mint • 1 tablespoon honey Preparation Drain grapefruit sections, reserving 1/4 cup juice. Combine grapefruit sections, juice, and remaining ingredients in a medium bowl. Toss gently to coat. Serve immediately, or cover and chill. Nutritional Information Calories per serving: 122 Calories from fat: 3% Fat per serving: 0.4g Saturated fat per serving: 0.1g Monounsaturated fat per serving: 0.0g Polyunsaturated fat per serving: 0.0g Protein per serving: 1.5g Carbohydrates per serving: 31.3g Fiber per serving: 3.4g Cholesterol per serving: 0.0mg Iron per serving: 0.6mg Sodium per serving: 2mg Calcium per serving: 26mg


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WHITE STAR CONSULTING, LLC Texas DPS PSB License # C18606 A Texas based, Texas owned company White Star Consulting is a full service investigations, security, training and consulting company. We conduct investigations for individuals, businesses and insurance companies. We are a full service security company, currently providing security for houses of worship and personal protection for political personalities and elected officials. We are a consultant to security companies, Law Enforcement agencies and private businesses on regulatory, security and training matters. 214-597-9199 1100 Business Parkway Suite 140 Richardson, Texas 75081

Texas Twister

lowship of believers, now celebrating 80 years of ministry in Southern Hunt County. Quinlan First Assembly is part of the worldwide Assemblies of God Fellowship with over 12,000 congregations in the United States with 3 million active members and over 80 million members world-wide. Our largest congregation is in Seoul, Korea with over 500,000 members. Their sanctuary seats 20,000 persons and they conduct over 8 services on Sunday. There are several congregations in Brazil, Africa and Singapore that aver-

Happy Hour is Monday - Friday 3:00 pm to 5:00 pm Jalapeños has been serving traditional Tex-Mex dishes in Quinlan Texas since July of 2008. We have a warm and friendly unique decor specializing in delicious homemade Tex-Mex food with a full bar serving great Margaritas. Our tamales are made fresh from our original family recipe and the fresh salsa and crispy chips will keep you coming back for more. Some of our specialties include Ribeye Fajitas served Friday and Saturday nights after 5:00pm. There are Daily Lunch Specials and Breakfast is served

age over 20,000 persons each Sunday. Dr. Don Paul and Donna Gray moved to Quinlan on Sept. 1, 2012 to be the pastors of the congregation here at Quinlan First. He recently spent 3 years as an Adjunct Professor at Continental Theological Seminary in Brussels, Belgium. Prior to this brief missionary stint, they pastored churches in Dallas, Mobile and Chicago; altogether over 25 years. Earlier, Dr Gray served for over 15 years as a college and seminary professor and administrator. They have 3 grown sons, 3 grandchildren and recently celebrated 48 years of marriage. Dr Gray just concluded 2 years of service as the Chairman of the Quinlan-Tawakoni Ministers Fellowship. The Gray’s and the congregation are strongly committed to World Missions and strongly involved pastoral ministry and community service in the TawakoniQuinlan area of Hunt County. Pastor Gray’s slogan on his business card is “If you need me, don’t hesitate to call”. Cell phone 214-926-7736.

all day. Every dine-in meal comes with complementary Sopapillas. From our family to yours, thank you for your patronage. Julio Martinez, Owner

Hunt County Trade Center 9061 FM 751 Quinlan, Texas 903-356-2520 Hunt County Trade Center is a place to come spend the day! It’s ‘NOT JUST ANOTHER FLEA MARKET’. They’ve got a two hundred plus vendors all with enclosed shopping on nice concrete and covered walkways.

First Assembly of God 728 E Quinlan Pkwy Quinlan, TX 75474 903-356-6000 quinlanfirst@outlook.com The First Assembly of Quinlan, TX located at 728 E Quinlan Pkwy is a vibrant, growing and caring fel-

Jalapeños Tex-Mex Restaurant 720 E. Quinlan Parkway Quinlan, Texas 75474 903-356-0485 Hours of Operation Sunday - Thursday 11:00 am to 9:00 pm Friday & Saturday 11:00 am to 10:00 pm

It’s located just outside Quinlan on Hwy 751 that makes it convenient from just about anywhere. It’s open every weekend and there’s no charge for entrance or parking so the bargains start right when you arrive!


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This month I went looking for traditional Irish food, and found an Irish potato pancake recipe. Now, being of German descent (on one side) I know about potato pancakes. Love um, but I had to try the Irish recipe just to see. After reading several, I found this one with a chicken filling. OH my. It’s going to be one of my new favorites, even when it’s not St. Patty’s Day. Then if it’s St. Patty’s Day I think of Reuben sandwich or cabbage. Something along those lines. I found, of all things, an Irish Egg Roll recipe. Wow!!! You have got to try these. It’s an East meets West thing and so easy for those who work; and when I added the Thousand Island dressing for a dip. I felt very Irish indeed. So, ‘top of the mornin’ to you!’ And they are soooo YUMMMM!!!! CREAMY CHICKEN BOXTY 1 medium potato, peeled & grated 1 ½ C milk 1 C all-purpose flour ¾ C mashed potato ¼ tsp salt ¼ tsp pepper Filling 2 bacon strips, crisp and chopped 2 C sliced fresh mushrooms 1 medium leek (white portion only) chopped ¼ C half & half cream ¾ C milk 2 Cups cubed cooked chicken breast (or roughly chopped) ¼ tsp salt ¼ tsp pepper

March, 2015 Place grated potato in a colander to drain; squeeze to remove excess liquid. Pat dry. In a large bowl, combine the grated potato, milk, flour, mashed potato, salt & pepper. Let stand for 20 minutes. Meanwhile, in a large nonstick skillet, cook bacon over medium heat until crisp, add mushrooms & leek, cook until tender. Gradually add cream. Whisk together flour and milk; add to pan, bring to a boil. Cook and stir for 2 minutes or until thickened. Stir in the chicken, salt & pepper;, heat through. Remove from the heat and keep warm. Coat another large nonstick skillet with cooking spray; heat over medium heat. Pour ¾ C batter into center of skillet; lift and tilt pan to coat bottom ( like a crepe) evenly. Cook until tip appears dry; turn and cook 2 – 3 minutes on other side. Remove and keep warm. Repeat with remaining batter, coating skillet with cooking spray as needed. Spoon filling onto pancakes. It makes 4 nice servings. And YUMMMM, oh my!!!! IRISH EGG ROLLS 4 oz chopped corned beef (from Deli) 2 – 3 C pre-packaged slaw mix 1 C diced cooked potatoes or (1 C southwest style hash browns cooked crispy & brown) ½ C thinly sliced onion Add grated Swiss Cheese to taste if desired Salt & pepper to taste 8 (7” square) egg roll wrappers 1 ½ quarts oil for deep frying (or what is recommended for your fryer) Heat your oil in deep-fryer to 375 degrees. In a medium bowl, mix together the shredded corned beef, slaw mix, potatoes & onions. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Lay egg roll wrappers out on a clean dry surface a few at a time. Place about ½ C of mixture into the center of each wrap. Roll up into logs according to the directions on the package. Wet the edge with water to seal. Fry rolls a few at a time, turning if necessary, for about 5 minutes or until golden. Remove from hot oil to drain on paper towels. Serve with Thousand Island dressing and YUMMMM!!!

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March, 2015

Texas Twister

God Himself doesn’t propose to judge a man until he is dead. So why should you? Farmer John lived on a quiet rural highway. But, as time went by, the traffic slowly built up at an alarming rate. The traffic was so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a day. So one day Farmer John called the sheriff’s office and said, “You’ve got to do something about all of these people driving so fast and killing all of my chickens.” “What do you want me to do?” asked the sheriff. “I don’t care, just do something about those crazy drivers!” So the next day he had the county workers go out and erected a sign that said: SLOW: SCHOOL CROSSING Three days later Farmer John called the sheriff and said, “You’ve got to do something about these drivers. The ‘school crossing’ sign seems to make them go even faster.” So, again, the sheriff sends out the county workers and they put up a new sign: SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAY That really sped them up.. So Farmer John called and called and called every day for three weeks. Finally, he asked the sheriff, “Your signs are doing no good. Can I put up my own sign?” The sheriff told him, “Sure thing. Put up your own sign.” He was going to let the Farmer John do just about anything in order to get him to stop calling everyday to complain. The sheriff got no more calls from Farmer John. Three weeks later, curiosity got the best of the sheriff and he decided to give Farmer John a call. “How’s the problem with those drivers. Did you put up your sign?” “Oh, I sure did. And not one chicken has been killed since then. I’ve got to go. I’m very busy.” He hung up the phone. The sheriff was really curious now and he thought to himself, “I’d better go out there and take a look at that sign… it might be something that WE could use to slow down drivers…” So the sheriff drove out to Farmer John’s house, and his jaw dropped the moment he saw the sign.. It was spray-painted on a sheet of wood: NUDIST COLONY Go slow and watch out for the chicks!


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Texas Twister March 2015 by Lane's Texas Twister Publications - Issuu