Chasing Recovery Part Three

Chasing Recovery:

A Story of Aroha

PART3

Billy opens up about the how his life has changed since he has stopped taking meth. Now instead of counting sleepless nights, he counts his blessings.

He recently celebrated one year clean.

Angry at the world, Billy had a hard time gravitating towards the Mana Enhancing Hui in the early days of his recovery journey. He wasn’t keen on hearing the kōrero being shared.

The first hui he went to he told everyone in the room that he just wanted to smash them all, so he got up and left. But those there wouldn’t give up on him, and over time he became ready to listen.

“After a few hui Pauline the facilitator said we should find a space in Tāneatua to start our own roopu up.We realized we needed to bring it home because of all the destruction we brought to Tāneatua”.

Gathering the courage to start that hikoi, Billy and Edith started handing out Mana Enhancing STOP hui pamphlets. Then they visited Tāneatua local Dianne – kaitiaki of the fire station. They shared their story, and had a kōrero to her about what they were wanting to do. She didn’t hesitate to offer up space at the fire station, and asked when they would like to start.

“The trust Dianne showed with giving us the key to the fire station, was a huge blessing to us.

Today our marae gives the key so I can mow the lawn. They wouldn’t of given it before because they thought I would steal and sell the gears.”

When the space at the fire station was offered, it was just Billy and Edith teaching each other how to facilitate meetings. This taught them to stay strong, no matter whether it’s one person who walks through the door or 100, stay firm.

The blessings kept coming.

“Whānau from Tāneatua and our whārua heard about our kaupapa and wanted to support us.

Koha came from all over our whārua just for our first mana enhancing presentation, and we pulled a hāngi together for our first mana enhancing presentation. We pulled our first presentation off and it was amazing.”

Soon after whānau started turning up to the meetings. First it was five whānau, then more and more started turning up each week. Billy says you have got to have faith and belief that the kaupapa you are running with is the right thing, and will help whānau. Now they get over 30 whānau attending these hui each week.

“That was a big thing for me, wondering why are we running this? Is it to make us feel good?

Or are we helping families?

That’s when my thinking started to change - it went from mana enhancing to helping families. We know the behaviours, but if they come back the next week we know it’s working.”

Still, Billy says temptation sits right outside the front door.

“Sometimes we get the dealers come to the door watching what’s going on, seeing all their customers inside. So we are kaitiaki and we gotta keep that space safe for whānau, we don’t wanna know what they’ve done in that world, all we wanna know is that they wanna heal. They are broken so we just tell the dealers they can’t come in this space.”

Billy now has the tools to be able to deal with situations like that today. He has had to tell his mates not to bring drugs to his house because he will no longer be in that world. That if they want to see him they can come over for a cuppa tea and a biscuit.

“Even now my own brothers roll up and ask what’s wrong with me, and if I wanna puff.

I’m just like aye do you wanna keep me down there? Do you like me having no family? Coz that’s what that world done for me. Do you like me beating people down and smashing people over just for you to be able to smoke drugs?

Don’t you like me being happy? Can’t you see my whānau is happy and loves me today? Then he just got in his car and left.”

But now he says, this thing is bigger than him and his whānau.

Mana Motuhake for Billy means grabbing on to what you need and letting the rest go.

Now Billy works alongside other gangs. He goes as a rangatira of the mongrel mob into the black power space to collaborate and korero about how to keep their kids safe, and what actions are needed to keep our whānau away from methamphetamine. Because at the end of the day our toto is still the same.

“I’ve done the Destiny’s, I’ve done the man-up, that’s what you gotta do. Create your own – grab that one, have a look at it, that suits this, grab on to what makes your iwi strong and let the rest go. The knowledge I have is not for me to keep and hold, it’s for me to share with everyone, so everyone gets their māmās and pāpā’s back” Billy says the blessings that come with getting clean buzzes him out. He said his biggest blessing is that his whānau is happy being around him. Billy reckons his happy ever after once looked like staying at home, being a good dad and mowing his lawns.

“I remember the first time my niece said to me ‘Love you Uncle!’ and I was like ‘Aye, far haven’t heard that before…love you too niece!”

I just thought to myself “far is that a real word coming out of your mouth Billy dog!”

“People from Ōpōtiki heard about us and wanted to start their own roopu. We told them come and grasp the idea and take it away with you, and just do with it as you may. However you do it, just do it. Like we did, we just grabbed the idea and that was us away, we weren’t waiting for anyone.”

“It’s about our people. Keep our people strong.

We lose our mana to meth, how do we enhance the mana of others so they stay clean? How we do that is by showing care and supporting our whānau, you gotta let them do their mahi otherwise they lean on you too much. It is hard work but it’s gotta be done. My babe can’t keep me clean only I can do that. We don’t let each other fall around here, we solid. Tūhoe bei – we out!”