Roslynne Camper - My Pain Was Pressure

By Dorjea’ McClammey

Photos Provided by Roslyn Camper

Roslynne Camper of Chattanooga, TN, is the author of Dear Abuser, My Pain Was Pressure.

Originally from Flint, Michigan, the mother of two did not grow up in the best environment. Her surroundings involved chaos as Roslynne witnessed her mother suffer domestic violence at the hands of her father. At the age of four, Roslynne had told herself she would never become her mother; she became an angry black woman instead.

Roslynnee’s childhood trauma began to catch up with her as life progressed. She became aggressive towards some men and experienced toxic relationships with others. Roslynne went from witnessing all forms of abuse to living it herself. Unfortunately, like many others, she didn’t see anything wrong with it because it was the behavior she had learned while growing up.

At age 45, she got into a relationship with someone who resembled the behavior like that of her father. She says, “It came with verbal, physical, emotional, and mental abuse: I was tired. I had been through it all my life. It was very toxic and made me realize I was holding on to the pain from my childhood. I didn’t know that being involved in an abusive relationship only worsened my past issues.”

Roslynne soon decided to turn her life around for the better. She stepped away from that harsh relationship and embarked on a healing journey to pursue the “Naked Truth.” That involved becoming aware of her actions, understanding how they contributed to her hurt, and unlearning many unhealthy behaviors. “I understood that I had childhood trauma and wanted to heal,” she says. “I decided to see a therapist and started working on myself.

As many readers know, therapy can be deemed ‘taboo’ in the black community, but Roslynne wanted to note that this needs to end. From her point of view, she knew that she needed help. She knew she needed help to heal and that a professional had the right tools. “Why wouldn’t you want help and the tools to help you get through what you need to get through? I believe God put therapists on the earth to help us,” she says.

As an author, Roslynne says that writing has always provided her with an outlet. Part of healing included the production of a self-authored book. As expected, writing helped, but it also brought out a lot of pain and trauma. “At first, it wasn’t supposed to be a book. I was writing to heal; then I thought someone needed to hear this, and it grew to something much more than I ever imagined.”

Roslynne knew firsthand how difficult it can be for others to open up and share the details of their pain. That is why her book was necessary. It has helped other victims see that they are not alone in this and show them they have the strength to escape a painful situation. As a significant milestone in her healing process, Roslynne published “Dear Abuser My Pain Was Pressure” on her birthday in 2022.

It doesn’t stop there; Roslynne has continued to help other women and men in her community. She speaks to others individually and sometimes in small groups. Her main focus is to help them realize that not all abuse is physical. It can be verbal, financial, or psychological, as well.

Most importantly, Roslynne understands that healing is often a day-to-day process. “When I was going through my domestic violence, I was going through it alone because I was too embarrassed to tell anybody. Because of that, I want to be available for someone going through, and I want to be a support system for them also,” she says.

Being brave enough to put her story out is what Roslynne loves most about being an author. Yet, not as much as the impact it has and the many people she has been able to help, even if it’s just a little bit. “I have some people that didn’t go through the process fully, but I got them thinking,” she says.

Roslynne offers some advice to others who may find themselves in a similar situation and seeking answers and a way out. She says, “Know your worth. The first thing I want you to do is to heal. Understand that some wounds may run deeper than you think. I had to realize that I wasn’t just healing from past relationships, but the terrible ones I witnessed while growing up.”

In the future, Roslynne plans to open a home for domestic violence victims, a haven to help them get back on their feet. She is also working on her second book. Copies of Roslynne’s book can be found at Amazon and Barnes & Noble. If you want to contact Roslynne, you can find her on Facebook, Instagram, and Tik Tok.