My Pain Is My Power

By Arielle Kilgore

Photos Provided by Tanisha Bankston

According to Merriam Webster and its definition of abuse, it can be characterized as a corrupt action or custom, improper, excessive use of treatment, or physical maltreatment. It may also use language that condemns or vilifies, usually unjustly, intemperately, and angrily. Although an abuser can possess these traits, the victim does not have to carry their definition but become the opposite—the victor. By Merrian Webster’s definition, it means one that defeats an enemy or opponent, i.e. a winner. Another synonym for a victor, Tanisha Bankston.

Tanisha’s story is one of hurt and triumph. A native of Grenada, MS, and current resident of Oxford, MS, she is a survivor of rape and even incest. Her anguish also stems from domestic violence, childhood sexual abuse, and trauma from an early age. From age 14 to 23, she was abused. When she tried to escape, she was beaten and left to die, along with a child to care for. Even after finding her strength and equilibrium of being a mother and survivor, she felt silenced for 27 years by the events that ruined her life. “I overcame my hurt by breaking my silence, and I realized I needed to rediscover my voice that had been trapped,” Tanisha shares. Once I found my voice, I then decided to help other victims find theirs and speak life over the situation that could kill them.”

Tanisha is the founder of My Pain is My Power. Her business cater to victims of abuse while shepherding them into recovery. “I started this because I had to break my silence. I wanted to help others like myself. I knew that it was time to move forward. That’s why I wrote my book. I chose to be a voice and advocate for others and take the energy back from all the trauma that I’ve gone through,” she shares.

Tanisha is the author of her self-titled book, “My Pain is My Power”. Published May 21, 2021, her book shares her story and sheds light on victims of abuse. She gives an inside look at her life and how long and hard the process of the recovery system can be. Tanish uses pieces of her ordeal and the relief methods she relied upon to serve as resources and tools for others. “Talking to other people and listening gives women the power to be heard and understood. They can talk to me, and I can help them because I can relate to what has happened to them. Being a survivor helps me understand other survivors.” she shares.

One of the first steps of assistance she offers is getting victims to crisis homes and shelters. There, victims can detach from their trauma in the presence of trained individuals who will direct them to further assistance. The support system for victims frequently involves other victims, and Tanisha is familiar with both roles.

She also advocates and speaks at women’s conferences and radio stations around the state of Mississippi and nationally. She serves her audience exclusively online through her website and Facebook, which will soon be Metra, seminars. Additionally, she sells merchandise such as t-shirts, pens, and buttons, items that assist in encouraging the survivors to remember how important they are and how they made it to the light.

Along with her book, Tanisha has spoken on various radio talk shows like Miss Texas Show, the Reality Series, CPS the Horror Story, Empowered Voice, a Mental Health Break, and started the first session to speak out about abuse in her area. She also holds conference calls and domestic violence meetings with survivors. The number one way to ensure better treatment and acknowledgment is to bring awareness to what is growing to be an epidemic in America.

A wave-breaking Netflix show called Maid brings to light abuse in the world of women. Tanisha agrees the production informs the viewer that abuse isn’t just physical, it can be mental, emotional, and spiritual. “Anything that could harm and change a person from who they are is abuse. It is imperative to share the different types of abuse.”

Moreover, she hopes that her business provides that light of knowing that abuse is everywhere and they are here to help. Recently, her business has received the award for Chamber and Commerce of being a new business. She hopes you expand it to have different agencies that advocate for women victims and survivors. She will shortly launch her podcast that will give advice and provide shelter for abused women.

Most importantly, Tanisha hasn’t shielded anything from her children. She wants them to grow up normal and, if at all possible, help her cause, as well. “In the future, I hope that they never have to go through the things I’ve gone through. I know they can have a successful life and business and move on with their life as well.”

Despite every battle she has faced, Tanisha doesn’t look at her life as a struggle, but instead as a mission to help others conquer. “I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I don’t have any regrets.”

In the future, Tanisha plans to continue to use her platform to serve and help others in need. “I’m looking forward to raising awareness and advocating, and volunteering in my community to bring an end to domestic violence,” she says.

For information on Tanisha Bankston’s story or to join her cause, please visit her website.