Terrible One's Freaky Friday Zine 1

FREAKY FRIDAY ZINE

W HAT’S COOKING Ruben's Magic Gazpacho Serving size: 4 people

IN TERRIBLE ONE’S KITCHEN?

8 tomatoes ( very very very red, very very very important ) 1/2 cucumber 1/2 green pepper 2-3 garlic cloves ( depending on how strong you like it ) 1/3 cup extra virgin olive oil 1/3 of a baguette or 3" bread cube without crust (optional) 1 tablespoonful of salt 1 tablespoonful of vinegar This is simple. You put all of those ingredients in a blender and blend! Then you put it in the refrigerator for a couple of hours and it's ready.

Serve cold.

Word!

---Ajo Blanco Grab a couple of handfuls of almonds (They must be white and kind of soft. You can get it like this or get the raw ones and boil them for a while, then the skin comes off. Same thing), a couple of soup spoons of olive oil, a couple of pieces of garlic, some white bread (dunk in water so it blends better), salt and one tablespoon of vinegar. Blend it all together and add water if it needs it... All of the ingredients are simple so you can add more depending of how you like it. I hope it works! And enjoy!

----

My Lentil Soup Well, when you make this you should make it in a big pan... It lasts a long time and you can give some to friends and family.

So, with about one kilo of lentils (wash them Þrst), Þll up half of the pan and leave the lentils in the water overnight (so they get softer).

Next morning using the same water (because it has ßavour already), start to boil it and put in it a onion, a big tomato, a big potato, a big carrot, a green pepper, 4 big spoons of olive oil, salt, pepper, and all of a head of garlic (burn the garlic before with Þre for a bit if you can, so it’s roasted). Leave it boiling for a while until the potato and carrot are soft (add water whenever you see that it needs it), then put all the full pieces of veggies into the blender, blend them and then put them back into the pan and it’s ready!

Super healthy and super cheap! :) Enjoy it, amigos !

-Ruben

Red Pepper Hummus

Rusty's Banana Bread

A lot of my friends never really liked hummus, and for good reason - a lot of it sucks. After having some of this recipe they all were fans.

1 tsp vanilla 1 cup of sugar 1/2 cup margarine 2 egg replacer 3 ripe bananas 1 tsp baking soda 1 1/2 cups ßour 1/4 tsp salt

1 red bell pepper 5 tablespoons of tahini 1/2 lemon pinch of cayenne pepper 1/4 teaspoon of salt 3 cloves of garlic 1 can of garbanzo beans 2 teaspoons of sugar 5 tablespoons of olive oil Mix everything together. A food processer works best. You could also use a blender or good old hand power in a bowl. If you mix it by hand I would mince the garlic and the red pepper Þrst.

You can put it on anything, or just eat it with chips.

Mix vanilla, sugar, and margarine until smooth. In small seperate bowl mash the bananas, then mix in with the wet ingredients. Make the egg replacer and add that to the wet ingredients as well. Mix ßour, baking soda and salt then gradually add it to the wet mixture. Don't over mix it, put in greased loaf pan and bake for about 45-55 mins or until a toothpick comes out clean. Or you can put these in Texas-sized mufÞn pans and bake for about 20-25 mins @ 325 F or 170 C. -Rusty

-Elf ----Em Bone’s Peanut Butter Cups Michael Sieben’s Michelada Recipe (for people old enough to drink a beer) 1 can of Modelo Especial beer (or similar Mexican lager) Louisiana Hot Sauce 1 lime salt ice

1/2 cup vegan margarine 3/4 cup peanut butter (chunky) 3/4 cup ground graham cracker 1/4 cup granulated sugar 1 cup vegan chocolate chips 1/4 cup chocolate soy milk

Take a tall glass and Þll it with ice to your desired level.

Cut your lime in half and squeeze one half over the ice.

Add a few drops of hot sauce on top.

Pour your pre-chilled can of beer over the ice.

Then shake a little salt over the top of the beer.

Drink this on a hot Summer day in your backyard, porch, or patio.

Or just out in the street. Whatever you got.

Melt margarine in sauce pan, once melted stir in peanut butter, graham cracker, and sugar. Stir until well incorporated. Spoon into lined mufÞn tins. About 2 Tbls per cup. Let cool and harden (freezer). In small sauce pan boil water, then put chocolate chips and soy milk in a bowl and put on top of the boiling water. Mix until no lumps then spoon over the peanut butter mix and serve when chilled. If you don’t have mufÞn tins you can make a sheet of these then cut them up into lil squares.

-Michael Sieben

-Emily

Spinach-Tofu Manicotti Not exactly a traditional Yule/Christmas dish, but it's red, white, and green, so it Þts.

Filling: (stuffs about ten manicotti "tubes") 1 pound/450g Þrm tofu, drained and rinsed 1 10-oz/300g box frozen spinach, thawed and squeezed dry 1 Tbsp. Italian seasoning (blend of oregano, marjoram, thyme, rosemary, basil, sage) 3 green onions (scallions), including green part, sliced thinly 8 ounces/230g (more or less) white button mushrooms, chopped in big chunks Pasta: 1 packet large manicotti tubes Sauce: About 28 ounces/750g of your favorite pasta sauce, homemade or prepackaged Plop tofu into a medium-sized mixing bowl and mash/crumble with your hands. Add spinach and fold into tofu with a fork, using fork to break up strands of spinach and mix evenly with the crumbled tofu.

Stir in Italian seasoning, onions, and mushrooms.

Boil about 10 manicotti tubes just shy of al dente (they won't fall apart this way when you're stufÞng them) and drain. Use your Þngers to push clumps of Þlling into the manicotti tubes till each one is plump and full. Lay them in a covered casserole dish (more than one layer is O.K.) and pour your favorite tomato-based pasta sauce (homemade or bottled) over the whole thing. Cover and bake at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for about an hour, maybe a little less (say, 45 minutes) if you have the manicotti spread out in a single layer.

Remove from oven and give it a few minutes to cool off before attempting to eat.

THE CLOSEST THING WE HAD TO A COOKING PHOTO...

SANDY ROASTIN' PHOTO: RUSS

Note: I have to keep my sodium intake low, so I don't add salt to anything I make from scratch (except some baked goods), so some of you might prefer to add a 1/2 teaspoon of salt to the Þlling.

-Secular pagan (Sandy)

“If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issuance of their currency, Þrst by inßation and then by deßation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around them will deprive the people of all their property until their children will wake up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered. The issuing power of money should be taken from banks and restored to Congress and the people to whom it belongs. I sincerely believe the banking institutions having the issuing power of money, are more dangerous to liberty than standing armies.”

-Thomas Jefferson, Letter to James Monroe, January 1, 1815 Quote stolen from Isaac Hoeßing’s Myspace page

HANG LOOSE

SLAYER

THE PREMISE BEHIND THE T-1 GRIP WAS TO PROVIDE A GRIP WITH MORE MATERIAL IN THE AREAS THAT ARE PRONE TO WEARING OUT THE QUICKEST. ON THE LEFT ARE TWO OTHER DESIGNS (THE HANG LOOSE AND THE SLAYER) THAT INCORPORATE THE SAME THINKING, BUT DIDN'T MAKE THE FINAL CUT. T-1 GRIPS: MORE RUBBER WHERE IT MATTERS MOST!

*

AVAILABLE IN VARIOUS COLORS

OUR GRIPS STILL COME WITH THOSE SHITTY BARENDS THAT YOU THROW STRAIGHT IN THE BIN...

We're working on new ones though!

AROUND THE WORLD IN TEN QUESTIONS WITH RUBEN ALCANTARA We asked Ruben the following questions about the T-1 world tour...

1. Where would you most like to go back to? a) To be a tourist : Greece b) To ride : Australia c) To surf : Hawaii 2. Did you mainly send emails, or send postcards/letters or make phone calls to friends and family?

Mostly emails but I’d always send postcards when I’d go to a new place for a while...

3. What souvenir that you brought home from the trip do you like the most?

Boomerangs from Australia. They are dope.

4. How much money do you think you spent during the entire trip?

Uhhhff, who knows... Probably around 10,000 dollars? Who knows? I know that I didn’t pay much attention to the statements because I knew they would be crazy... So I kind of ignored it.

5. The longest time you went without a shower?

Not much really. We always ended up swimming somewhere anyways.

6. What was your worst injury on the trip?

None really... My shoulder got sore for a weird reason but that was it.

7. List something that you lost during the trip.

My tools! I had them my whole life! But they got lost in Hawaii so they ended up in a good place.

I hope some kid is Þxing his bike by the beach...

8. Were you not looking forward to going somewhere but ended up being surprised by how good it was?

Yes, it happened many times.

9. Sketchiest experience?

Some road trip in a bad area in South Africa, but it ended up really fucking funny!

10. Which place made the best coffee?

Uuuuhhh, I would say Bilbao in Spain, but we had so many that who knows...

CHECKING FOR WAVES >

O

ne year ago this warrior faced white and gray furball appeared. He was cold, it was around 18 degrees and he would cry in the alley all night. Someone tossed him out, poor guy. We had no intention of getting a new cat and already had another one that was queen of the house. I began to feed him and noticed he was clearly not a stray. I would let him in the house. He had huge balls, and he sprayed all over. There was no way we were keeping him. However we decided to get him his shots and get him Þxed and possibly keep food out for him. When we went to the vet to get him Þxed up they noticed he had a large gouge near his eye that the vet said could cause blindness in the future from excessive rubbing if not stitched up. We said okay. They did the surgery and gave him back in a plastic head cone. They told us that he could not go outside for 14 days... What the fuck? Really? We cared for him and his wounds and medicated him for that time. He stopped spraying and we decided we would give him a house. However our other cat, Buddy, was not too stoked. She passed on this last August, and was very sick. We love her. We love Nyojo Pepper Crazy Horse, our new cat with green eyes and a warrior face. He is now my best friend. He has Þghting problems and eats oatmeal with me in the morning. Overall he is continuing the love that Buddy gave to us.....

- Elf

PHOTOS: SHELLI

HIGH GENER When the pages close, a high Ăžve is made. *Disclaimer: cannot be guaranteed if the act of page closing is carried out in a forest when no one is around.

FIVE RATOR Thanks to everyone for their help and support.

We appreciate it all very much.

Best wishes for the new year from everyone at T-1.

Terrible One , PO BOX 6518, Austin, TX 78762 phone 512 478 9436 w w w.terribleone.com