WELLBEING @WORK

Mastering mediation

Perfecting the art of mediation is a critical undertaking for leaders. Here’s how to work on diffusing situations, bringing a sense of confidence and calm to situations that might otherwise escalate into vitriol and bullying when left to fester.

BY NIKKI DAVIES

RESEARCH into teacher burnout has continued to show that the quality of our collegial relationships has a direct impact on our risk for developing the symptoms of emotional exhaustion, depersonali sation and lowered self-efficacy, with positive collegial relationships having a protective role to pla y. Good relations between peers supports our emotional and psychological wellbeing, as well as providing the opportunity for professional under standing and the sharing of experiences.

Y et not all staff will get along and when rifts develop, the school staffroom can become a place of t ension and upset – something that can spread as other staff become aware of, or involved in, others’ conflicts, lowering morale and potentially creating factions. School leaders, however, can play a vital role in getting staff relationships back on track, nipping conflict in the bud and easing tensions. One of the ways to do this is through the mecha nism of mediation.

M ediation is a process that allows individuals the chance to be heard and for miscommunications and assumptions to be challenged and resolved. Becoming proficient in the art of meditation is a useful skill for leaders to have in their toolbox, allowing them to bring confidence and calm to the management of situations that can so easily explode into vitriol and bullying when left to fester.

confidential environment within which individuals can be heard, where there is no judgement and w here an impartial mediator can facilitate an open and honest conversation. While the process of mediation ideally seeks to find a resolution to con flict, sometimes a better understanding of each other is all that can be managed, yet this too, can present a significant and positive shift toward the potential thawing of relations.

When setting up a mediation, trying to create an atmosphere of calm is important as most partici pants come to the mediation table with a level of str ess that can manifest as defensiveness, aggression, emotional distress or closed-mindedness. Br eaking the ice through reassurance and care can help to ease participants into the kind of openmindedness that is required for people to really

hear each other. Ways to achieve this kind of environment can include:

Using a calm and even tone of voice.

Smiling.

Using open and relaxed body language.

Arranging seating so that the parties aren’t faceto-face, but are more side on to each other, with you in front of them and exactly between.

Ensuring personal space is respected with chair placement, but that a sense of intimacy is also created.

Encouraging both parties to engage openly and honestly with the process, and to listen carefully and without judgement to each oth er’s perspective.

Before beginning the process of mediation, it is also important to create a set of guidelines or ground rules for communication. Setting ground rules should be a collaborative process, with each participant agreeing to adhere to them during the process. The kinds of ground rules usually employed in this kind of setting include:

T urn taking without interrupting the other.

U se of “I” statements and phrases.

Use of first names, not “he” or “she”.

Asking of questions to gain clarity and under standing – not as attacks.

If no solution is possible, agree to disagree and move forward with civility and professionalism, and a specific plan on what each person is going to do/not do.

Stating the problem - it is important to clearly state what you understand the problem to be and seek clarification from both parties to ensure you are all on the same page at the starting point. Reminders around the use of “I” statements can be important here. Miscommunication and assumptions about other people’s motives and goals are often at the heart of conflict, so it may be that the parties have different perspectives on the problem. Allowing each party to make their own problem statement and then merging those in an overarching problem statement may be required.

Information gathering - it is during this stage of the process that each party has the opportunity to state their case and it is here that most of the work of the mediator is done, ensuring that things stay civil and the rules are adhered to. Gentle remind ers of the agreed process should be given as r equired through this stage of the mediation pro- cess, while ensuring each person gets their fair share of air time. If things get heated it may be necessary to take a break.

It is essential that you maintain your objectivity to ensure one person doesn’t feel like they are

“If no solution is possible, agree to disagree and move forward with civility and professionalism, and a specific plan...”

‘alone’ in the room or being ‘ganged up’ on. Sometimes several sessions are required to come to an agreement.

Identify contributing issues - as noted above, miscommunication and assumptions are often at the heart of conflict and it is not uncommon for the original problem statement to morph into something else as each person tells their story. Our assumptions are quite often wrong about others’ meanings and motives, laying the foundation for us to inaccurately perceive everything the other person says or does through this lens. Nutting out exactly what each person perceives as the contrib uting issues to the overall problem can be an ey e-opener for all those involved, and help to expose the potentially erroneous assumptions they each hold about the other.

Bargaining/negotiation/compromise - it is important when people must work together that everyone has the opportunity to clearly state

their needs, concerns, fears etc. and that all of these are validated, even if the intention of the other party was not to cause harm or distress. Our personal vulnerabilities are often revealed during these kinds of conversations, so it is important to be respectful and empathetic and encourage the same in both parties. Acknowledging the hurt of the past and coming to some kind of agreement about the way people work with each other respectfully is at the heart of this part of the process.

Agreement and settlement - this is the stage where plans are made that move everyone forward into a new phase of their relationship as col leagues. Sometimes complete repair isn’t possible – especially if mediation doesn’t occur early in the

conflict and it has been left to simmer – but that needn’t mean that colleagues can’t work together where required. Certainly as mediator, it is impor tant to encourage the parties to engage in a collaborative solution and plan to move forward, but y ou may need to intercede with suggestions and recommendations to smooth the way. Ultimately however, both parties need to agree to how things will look in the future. Without both firmly on-board, old issues can be revisited and become even more inflamed.

Taking a part in smoothing over collegial issues is an important role for leaders, but it is important to remember that the role of mediator is to help oth ers find shared ground rather than to tell them w here that will be.