Interact April 2021 - Hope

April Issue

Letter from the Editor

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From the Editor/editorial staff: This issue of Interact is, I think, all about hope. It is a hope that springs not from wishful thinking but from a certainty of belief. That certainty originates in a worldview that acknowledges that we are in a battle in which light will overcome darkness, good will overcome evil, and love will overcome hate and indifference; indeed it has already been done.

That doesn’t mean that our tasks are finished; in fact, these certainties are the foundational basis for our thoughts, decisions, and actions. If we believe that we are in a pit from which we will not emerge, rather than a dark valley where the sun will surely rise, we risk falling into a crushing despondency. If we do not believe that we are part of something larger than ourselves, it is easy to slip into selfish ambition. If we do not believe that there is a ‘better way’ then we will not dream nor will we aim higher than we can currently reach. It is not from minimizing the realities of these days that allows us to move forward but of looking those realities in the face and addressing them as a community, shoulder to shoulder. Our forward-looking contributors are offering you ideas, stories, tools, and resources in abundance!

Our desire in these pages is that you will find a chorus of voices speaking of light, of life, of important ideas, of good work still to do, and of joy in the midst of a dark time in our collective history. Welcome to the conversation where Hope Springs.

Michael Pollock Interim Editor

Feedback and Input: Interact welcomes feedback concerning articles as well as ideas for the magazine. Please send it to interact@interactionintl.org. Interact reserves the right to edit and publish these letters/emails for space and clarity.

Reprinting Material: You must have permission before reproducing information published in Interact. Back issues can be found online (www.interactionintl.org).

Publisher: Interaction International Editors: Michael Pollock & Bret Taylor Graphic Designer: Kelly Pickering Copy Editor: Tarrah Teigland Grabler Digital Publishing: Bret Taylor Copyright 2021 INTERACT a digital publication Correspondence for Interact should be sent to: P. O. Box 863, Wheaton, IL 60187 USA, Phone: 630.653.4156, Email: interact@interactionintl.org

Holding on to Hope

By Chris O'Shaughnessy

It’s nothing short of stating the obvious to note that it’s been a rough year. For many across the globe, 2020 will be remembered infamously, with 2021 starting out hot on its heels. That’s not to say good things haven’t happened, and it’s not to say other years haven’t brought hardship, but the previous year has been exceptional in the scope of its impact: we’re experiencing a global phenomenon in the form of the coronavirus pandemic. I think it’s partly because of the near-universal nature of our difficult experiences that finding hope is even more a struggle now than before.

In my opinion, hope falls into that strange category of words or concepts that we all have some degree of familiarity with, but still struggle to concisely define (I think “culture” is in the same group).The good old Merriam-Webster dictionary says hope is “to cherish a desire with anticipation: to want something to happen or be true.” I particularly like that definition because it has “cherish” in it – and I think we should take every opportunity possible to cherish things! To take it further, I think a defining characteristic of hope is that it’s a process – it’s the journey rather than a destination. Wish fulfillment could be a destination, an end in and of itself, while hope is the journey…that’s an important distinction.

I’d been speaking about hope at international schools, conferences, retreats, etc., even before the pandemic because of various alarming studies that showed an increase in hopelessness in young people (Twenge, 2019), and because of the interesting connection I saw with Third Culture Kids and Cross Cultural Kids. I think there

is a direct correlation between a lack of connection, and a lack of hope. The more disconnected we are, the more hopeless we become. There are all sorts of reasons we were becoming more disconnected even before the pandemic. Increased use of social media is a big one. I’m not against social media – but I do think it’s like junk food: it’s got all the taste, but none of the nutrients. Real relationships require joint interest AND joint investment or risk. Social media gives us the interest…but none of the investment or risk. Junk food (social media) tastes good, but it’s no replacement for actual nutrients (interdependent relationships). Beyond that, we just don’t need each other the way we used to. Thanks to affluence and technology we can accomplish so much on our own now – and why wouldn’t we? Any opportunity to decrease risk (depending on someone else) is attractive. The downside is that we actually needed that little bit of risk/interdependence for the relational nutrition. Loneliness hit us hard in the pandemic, but it was a growing concern even before that – and loneliness is tied closely to hopelessness.

“One study, published in the American Sociological Review (ASR) and authored by Miller McPhearson, Lynn SmithLovin, and Matthew Brashears, sociologists at Duke and the University of Arizona, featured 1,500 face-to-face interviews where more than a quarter of the respondents — one in four — said that they have no one with whom they can talk about their personal troubles or triumphs. If family members are not counted, the number doubles to more than half of Americans who have no one outside their immediate family with whom they can share confidences.

Sadly, the researchers noted increases in ‘social isolation’ and ‘a very significant decrease in social connection to close friends and family’” (Shaw Crouse, 2014).

I believe hope is essentially an external force that we bring in – and then foster, feed, grow, nurture, and share. As the conduits between us deteriorate, the avenues for hope to flow diminish. My experience with TCKs and CCKs has shown that their lifestyle allows for them to practice connection in far more varied ways, and usually more frequently. The cross-cultural experience of young people and adults is characterized by making connections…across cultures – often out of necessity. That is a beautiful skillset to cultivate, and one that the world is in need of, because it lays the foundations for hope to flow.

But how do we access hope – where do we get it from before we can spread it through our various conduits?

To answer that, I think it’s necessary to draw on some parallels between hopelessness and loneliness (in some ways, hopelessness is mental loneliness, and loneliness is social hopelessness).

For one thing, it’s important to realize that hopelessness and loneliness are feelings, not facts. These feelings are often triggered by the memory of abandonment, failure, or things not turning out how we’d hoped. When we try to apply logic to these feelings and sort them out, we can begin to rationalize them into a false sense of failure or isolation. Then insecurities creep in, and it’s all downhill from there (Wilson, 2020).

Another difficulty in accessing hope is the reality that hopelessness can actually be pretty seductive. That may sound strange – but it might help to think of hopelessness as something in and of itself, not just the absence of hope. A phenomenal study dealing with rats and drugs (Hari, 2015) made the insightful observation that people (like rats, as unflattering as that may sound) are bonding creatures – we’re going to bond to something, and in the absence of something healthy, we will bond to something unhealthy. In the absence of hope, we’ll bond to hopelessness.

I see it as like being outside in the cold. You’re shivering, you miss the warmth, you’ve got to do something. In the (walkable but effort-consuming) distance, you can see there’s a house with a fire crackling away offering respite from the cold. But there’s also a thick blanket just within arm’s reach. The truth is that hopelessness (and loneliness for that matter) are like that blanket. They offer something to fill the void. Something that requires less effort – but something that ultimately keeps us in the cold. Hope requires some effort, but ultimately gets us to a better place.

With this in mind, I think there are a variety of sources for hope: faith, relationships, our own story and the story of others…even new experiences have been shown to increase happiness which is a way of welcoming in hope. The ability to view life as a story (where we draw on the past in constructive ways, make the most of the present, and look positively towards the future) is a way of welcoming in hope. In times of trouble it’s very easy to assume how things are now is how they’re always going to be. That’s a survival technique but it’s not accurate. We welcome hope in when

we recognize that now has its place, now will ultimately become the past, and the future holds new nows full of possibility. Gratitude is another powerful way to welcome in hope: the discipline of taking the time, on a regular basis, to consciously make a list of things we’re grateful for brings in a sense of hope.

Finally, an amazing characteristic of hope is that hope itself creates more hope. Thankfully, it’s not a zero-sum game: someone else doesn’t have to have less hope for us to have more – it’s not a limited resource. Hope isn’t the absence of pain: life inevitably has painful moments – painful gut-wrenching moments that rip holes in our being. When we recognize that hopelessness is not so much a void as a dangerous filler, we can consciously choose how to fill the wounds left by pain. Suffering leaves a vacuum and it’s going to be filled. Because hope creates more hope, we can offer a better alternative through building connections, sharing our story, and connecting it with others’ stories: hope flows through connection.

One of my favorite quotes sums this up nicely:

“Ultimately our gift to the world around us is hope. Not blind hope that pretends everything is fine and refuses to acknowledge how things are. But the kind of hope that comes from staring pain and suffering right in the eyes and refusing to believe that this is all there is.” (Bell, 2005) So, especially amidst the pandemic: be grateful for your story and that of others, don’t be seduced by the easy to reach blanket of hopelessness – choose to fill the void left by pain with hope, and build conduits to spread that hope.

Chris O'Shaughnessy Christopher O’Shaughnessy (www.chris-o.com) is a passionate and versatile speaker, comedian, and author who uses a unique blend of story-telling, humor, and provocative insight to engage a wide array of people on topics associated with globalization and cross-cultural understanding. Chris is enlisted by organizations large and small ranging from international schools and educational institutions to government agencies and businesses across the globe. He has worked in, lived in, or traveled to more than 100 countries and brings first-hand experience of an everglobalizing world to his audiences. Chris’s book, Arrivals, Departures and the Adventures In-Between, has received high praise from students, teachers, and other experts in the international community as a resource that is both enjoyable to read and able to instill truths, insights, and skills essential to navigating life successfully in an ever globalizing world.

Bell, Rob. Velvet Elvis: Repainting the Christian Faith.

HarperOne, 2005.

Hari, J. (2015, January 20). The Likely Cause of Addiction Has Been Discovered, and It Is Not What You Think. Retrieved from https://www.huffpost.com/entry/the-real-cause-ofaddicti_b_6506936

Pattillo, A. (2020, May 18). Scientists Pin Down a Link Between Happiness and 1 Daily Activity. Retrieved from https://www.inverse.com/mind-body/new-experiences-shapemood-study Shaw Crouse, J. (2014, May 18). The Loneliness of American Society. Retrieved from https://spectator.org/the-loneliness-of-american-society/ Twenge, J. (2019, March 14). Mental Health Issues Increased Significantly in Young Adults Over Last Decade. Retrieved from https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2019/03/mentalhealth-adults Wilson, R. (2020, July 19). Combat Loneliness by Expanding Your Circle of Concern. Retrieved from https://psychcentral.com/blog/fight-loneliness-by-expandingyour-circle-of-concern#1

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“ There is a direct correlation

between a lack of connection, and a lack of hope. The more disconnected we are, the more hopeless we become. – I believe hope is essentially an external force that we bring in – and then foster, feed, grow, nurture, and share."

By Tim Cook This paper has been written by Tim Cook, TCK Consultant with AIM International, and edited by Gill Bryant, MK Consultant with WEC International. Tim gratefully acknowledges input from the following individuals and organisations: Nancy Elwood (Greater Europe Mission); AIM’s TCK consultant team; Tumaini Counselling Centre, Nairobi; some key consultants from the MK Education Summit; further feedback from participants in the 2020 summit.

In addition, Gill acknowledges with appreciation the comments of Guille Eddy, chair of EuroTCK and Latino TCK specialist.

"It shouldn't come as a surprise to us that adolescents in particular - even more than younger people - have a difficult time making adjustments," said Christopher Bellonci, a child and adolescent psychiatrist at Floating Hospital for Children at Tufts Medical Center.

"The job of adolescents is to find a peer group and an identity outside of the home, and that is harder when your peer group and school are disrupted by a move when they should provide support and strength," he told Reuters Health.

Why do a few adolescents adapt well?

They leave well: proper goodbyes are said, relationships are restored, thank you’s are said, and arrangements are made for staying in contact with family and friends.

There is a good schooling option that meets both academic and social needs.

They are comfortable with themselves. This is a rare thing to find in any teenager.

There is an opportunity to visit the field before making the final move.

There are good mentors outside of the family who invest time in them.

The attitude of the parents has a real impact on the kids.

Parents need to trust God for his timing with their children’s views, emotions, and feelings toward the move. (Don’t hurry God!)

Factors that have been observed when things go wrong: A teen does not want to move and the family goes anyway.

There is no understanding or buy-in to a missional or ministry mindset.

A student is expected to begin national school with no prior target language and no second language assistance or accommodation. (Note: Breaking into a school with established friends can be difficult even when the school curriculum and language of instruction are familiar.)

A teen experiences social isolation in their new location.

A teen does not get along with the family – poor family dynamics.

A teen does not feel listened to by parents.

A teen stays too connected to friends at home which prevents making new friends.

Parents treat transition issues in the teen as just a discipline problem.

“Make sure the child has a good understanding of the transition cycle.

Understanding the cycle does not make transition easier, but it does give hope" 9

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Recommendations for Mobilizers some face-to-face time with the 1. Prioritize adolescents so that they feel valued and part of what their parents are going to be doing.

time on pre-field educational planning - this 2. Spend is a challenge even when parents attend education consulting seminars. Confront them with the reality, versus what they think will happen. This could be done by putting them in touch with people already on the field, especially newer families who are fresh to the current situation. Take time during the first year to feel at home. The receiving branch needs to give the freedom to get “settled first”. This should be viewed as a long-term investment. There might not be much actual ‘ministry’ for the first year, but the family is more likely to stay long term.

peer support groups to help with those 3. Establish that are isolated and on remote stations. Examples are: WhatsApp groups; social media groups; and a social network for when they come into ‘the city’.

resources: 4. Provide A network of people

Helpful books on raising families overseas (see the end of the article) A list of key resources, available on multiple communication platforms Have 3 month, 6 month, 9 month reminders about the resources and networks

possible, encourage the local church youth 5. When group to stay connected to the teen. sure teens are part of pre-field orientation: 6. Make include grief and loss training; equip them with tools similar to what you do for adults.

a good “kid” person on staff that the teens 7. Have can connect with. parents to consider timing; just 8. Encourage because now is not the time to go does not mean that you are not called.

Consider the number of transitions that will be 9. required for the family; the fewer the better. of adolescents should be made aware 10. ofParents the challenges associated with taking an adolescent to the field for the first time very early on in the process. This should be done before the parents embark on their preparations to go. sure that a one-on-one, face-to-face 11. Make interview is done with the adolescent. Don’t simply accept the assertions of the parents that ‘the kids are fine with the move’. We all have blind spots to what is closest to us. Look for excitement about going, a realistic understanding and acceptance of the challenges, a strong relationship with parents, good self-awareness, and a sense of God’s calling in their lives. But also don’t take the adolescent’s first response at face value. Their response is almost bound to be mixed probably wanting to say 'the right thing', wanting to 'support their parents', not wanting to be 'left behind', not wanting to be 'blamed' for spoiling their parents' plans, etc. Teasing all this out will take time, sensitivity, and reading between the lines!

12.

Make sure that both parents and the adolescent have bought into a workable education plan that looks to the future and not just one that gets them through next year.

Make sure the child leaves well. This is 13. something that both parents and the adolescent need to understand and be committed to. Both need to understand the importance of proper farewells and thank you’s and ensure that, as much as possible, the child is not leaving behind broken relationships.

Make sure that the ministry assignment is 14. workable for the adolescent as well as the

parents. Placing a child who has lots of friends and is very sociable in a remote location where they will be homeschooling and everyone in the family is going to need to learn language could be a recipe for disaster.

sure the child has a good understanding 15. Make of the transition cycle. Understanding the cycle does not make transition easier, but it does give hope in the middle of all the struggles that there is light at the end of the tunnel. And it lets kids know that what they are experiencing is normal – they are not weird.

Consider the spiritual and cultural impact of the 16. ministry location, especially for adolescent girls.

The following is the testimony of one family for which the move caused significant trauma.

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I have daughters that were continually sexually harassed by the local male population. It has meant that they have a warped view of men. Our organisation hadn't thought about rape education for children.

There were no or few other children my kids’ ages, so they were isolated and alone at a time when peer influence is more important than parental influence. Other families in our organisation have much younger children, so they had unrealistic expectations of my children. We were evacuated and the teenagers understood what was going on but didn't really have the resources to deal with it. My youngest was oblivious and so doesn't really have lasting issues. Schooling hasn't been great and the older kids are less flexible. Other kids in the class are also less flexible and so have been hostile rather than welcoming (especially for the 13 year old).

upset as no one from the mission ever talked to her about it. They just made the call on her behalf. She felt like her calling was not valued or even considered simply because she was a child. God in His mercy and sovereignty called her again as an adult and she is still joyfully serving after many years on the field.

One of our mobilizing offices reported of a family with a young 10 year old son. When they asked the parents how the son felt about going to Africa the parents said he was opposed to the idea. The mobilizing office suggested to the parents that they needed to take time to pray through this as a family and make sure they were all on the same page. So the family agreed and slowed everything down. One day the young boy came to his parents and said God had been speaking to him in dreams and told him that he too was called to be a missionary. They are now doing further orientation on their way to the field.

Recommendations for Receiving Branches

One current missionary reports that when she was a teenager, her parents felt called to missions. They sat down as a family and talked about it and they all felt called to go.

She was getting quite excited about going when the mission organization they were applying with refused to let them go because she was a teenager. At the time she was quite

Provide for opportunities for ministry as a family 5. when appropriate and there is a desire on the part of the teen and family. Research has shown that when children choose to be involved with their parents in ministry, they are more likely to have a positive experience and less likely to walk away from their faith when they are adults.

Recommendations for Parents Remember you don’t know what you don’t know 1. take advice seriously.

2. Make sure your children are part of the discussion.

Make sure your children feel free to share their 3. feelings and validate those feelings.

4. healthy goodbyes.

Ensure your children have good transitions and

Consider the number of transitions your teen will 5. go through. Will you do language school in one country and then orientation in another country and then move to your location? It might be too many transitions for a teen.

Help your teen to maintain connections with your 6. home church youth group. At the same time, limit the amount of connection back home so that the teen is encouraged to build friendships on the field as well.

Monitor social media usage. Studies have clearly 7. linked an increase in social media usage to an increase in feelings of isolation and depression.

Conclusion When dealing with a family heading to the field for the first time with an adolescent, we need to start with the assumption that this is probably not the right time for them to be starting their missionary career.

Then we can look for evidence that in this situation it may actually work out well.

A comment from Dr. Mark Phippen, former Director of Tumaini Counseling Center in Nairobi: Lastly, I would suggest that the final decision is not actually about the adolescent, but about how the parents handle their responsibilities for their (adolescent) children. As God calls us to lovingly parent and nurture any children he has given us, how do [Mobilizing Offices] see the parents expressing this as they think about their calling to mission; how are they balancing their desire to serve on the mission field with their role as parents, especially when the adolescents are uninterested or reluctant? For example, parents who are in effect saying, 'We feel called, so our kids will just have to follow' aren't (to my mind) taking adequate responsibility for their children, and this would play out in their relationships on the field. I only spell this out because the reason for saying 'no' would not simply be the reluctant adolescent, but the parents' need to take adequate care for their kids.

So if we do recommend to a family that this is not a good time to start their missionary career, let’s make sure that we communicate that it is NOT the child’s fault; rather it is us being a responsible mission sending agency and them being wise, loving parents.

Finally, remember that the whole purpose of our job is not to try and ‘weed out bad apples’ (although that might be necessary sometimes), but rather to do all that we can to help a family be successful on the field.

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Personal story – don’t forget God’s sovereign hand!

When we were dorm parents of senior boys, we had a young man in our dorm who came to RVA (Rift Valley Academy) for the first time as a senior.

When he was young his parents had been missionaries in Congo and they had to flee in the rebellion. As a young child he saw his mother mistreated as they were leaving the country and as a result he hated Africans. His local high school in the US also struggled with racial issues.

When his parents were getting ready to return to Africa, they gave him the option of staying at home and living with his grandparents so he could finish grade 12 in the same school, or coming out with them and attending RVA for his senior year. As he was telling me his story a few nights before graduation at about 1:00 in the morning, he said he had no idea why he chose to come with his parents.

The only explanation he could give was that God must have wanted him there.

For his first two terms he struggled a lot. Not knowing his background, I had assigned him to room with a Kenyan. In the US he had his own car and significant freedom, but at RVA he had to be in the dorm by 7pm for study hall. He got into a lot of trouble during his first two terms at RVA. Then God got hold of his life and totally turned him around.

“We need always to be in prayer throughout the process and listening to that still, small voice....if we are going against our 'wisdom' let’s make sure it is because of the prompting of God’s Spirit and not because of pressure from parents or pressure from the field."

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As he was talking to me he shared that if he had stayed in the US he was convinced he would have been dealing in drugs by now. He was fingering a necklace with a silver map of Africa and he said it was his most valuable possession and that he would never forget Africa. His closest friend now was his Kenyan roommate. God showed Himself as real to him in Africa. He concluded by telling me he would never trade this year for anything in the world.

The key thing to me was that his parents gave him a choice; they involved him in the decision. Granted, he had none of the characteristics that indicate success.

But God clearly had His plan for this young man.

I hesitated to share this story as it goes against most of what I have recommended above. But when I look at scripture I find that God often does not ask us to do the safe or logical thing. One thing that always scares me in my job is that I would be guilty of convincing a family to act against God’s call on them because it does not seem wise to me. But the consequences of not giving good advice can lead to damaged parents, children, and the mission reputation.

I am not sure how we factor this into mobilizing families, except to emphasize again that we need always to be in prayer throughout the process and listening to that still, small voice. However, as I stated previously, if we are going against our “wisdom” let’s make sure it is because of the prompting of God’s Spirit and not because of pressure from parents or pressure from the field.

“Good family relationships and healthy communication between the teen and the parents, as mentioned, is crucial."

A comment on Latino families from Guille Eddy, Eurotck I would add one thing. It has been our experience and research with Latin TCKs that good family relationships and healthy communication between the teen and the parents, as mentioned, is crucial. But the other thing that is crucial is the role of friends on the field...not just in the school environment, but in both school and neighborhood, pueblo, or town, and church where the family is rooted. For our Latin families mostly cannot afford to send their kids to an international school (where the student population is overwhelmingly TCK), so they don´t have the advantage of an education system that understands the teens’ needs, and coequals who are fellow TCKs. Just to point one thing out in adolescent development - the teen is socialized into adulthood by the family acting as one component of social scaffolding and on the other side co-equals (social and anthropological jargon for friends). Friends form the other component that works, in conjunction with family, to build a straight and healthy self-image and give the teen selfconfidence. In our workshops we emphasize that the parents’ responsibilities when going to the field with a teen (we counsel against it but they still go) or a child does not end when you have rented an apartment, settled into ministry, found a church or worship group, and found the kids a school...the responsibility ends when your kids have at least one friend. And since our Latin families cannot count on school to provide this, it must be Mum and Dad!!!! They need to work with their child (and teen if they have taken a teen) to find a friend.

This process may take well over a year, possibly longer.

During this time Dad must see friendship with his teen as part of his ministry. I emphasize Dad because Latinos have the tendency to dive into ministry and let Mum run the house.

Tim Cook Tim was born in Tanzania where his parents served with Africa Inland Mission; thus he has lived the MK experience firsthand. He graduated from Rift Valley Academy in Kenya. He experienced culture shock when he attended The King’s College where he earned his degree in Math and Secondary Education and met his wife, Bonnie. They returned to Kenya with AIM International and served as teachers, dorm parents, and in administration at Rift Valley Academy. After earning his Master’s in Educational Leadership from Regent University, Tim served as RVA’s superintendent for 8 years. They are currently based in Spain where Tim serves as the TCK Consultant with AIM’s international office. They have two daughters who were both born in Kenya and graduated from RVA.

Recommended Reading: Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds, 3rd edition,

by David Pollock, Ruth Van Reken and Michael Pollock.

Raising Up a Generation of Healthy Third Culture Kids by Lauren Wells.

Moving Increases Kids' Chances Of Needing Mental 1 Health Treatment (STUDY) by Allison Bond with Reuters Health (written in April 2014 and updated December 2017).

Transitions: A Lifelong Process by Lynda ShingledeckerWheeler from the Global TCK Care and Education website. (https://missionhr.org/care-and-wellbeing/children-familieswellbeing/tcks-family-issues/transitions/transitions-alifelong-process/) Creating Smooth Transitions — RAFT from the Global TCK Care & Education website. (https://missionhr.org/care-and-wellbeing/children-familieswellbeing/tcks-family-issues/transitions/creating-smoothtransitions-raft/) 2

Responses to an email survey, names withheld.

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COVID-19 and TCKs:

The Gap Year That Nobody Wanted – But Everyone Got.

By John Barclay

Airports are favourite places for many Third Culture Kids (TCKs). Vibrant, bustling hubs like Changi Airport see over one million travelers come and go each week. High mobility is one of the hallmarks of being a TCK and frequent intercontinental travel by air means airports are familiar places, usually with fond memories, symbolic of their transient lifestyles. But in 2020 airports around the world became eerily deserted, like ghost towns, as international travel almost shut down. TCKs’ inbuilt propensity for travel has been dramatically curtailed. For some, travel this past year has been the result of sudden and sometimes traumatic disruption, and the comfort and appeal of oncefamiliar airports has been overlaid with stress-filled transits to uncertain destinations.

One family I know were comfortably adjusted to being in three different countries: parents in Indonesia, a brother and sister boarding in Hebron School, south India, and two older brothers studying at university in Melbourne, Australia.

When India went into partial lockdown on March 17th, the younger sister had a difficult and stressful unaccompanied journey back to Indonesia via Singapore. Her older brother remained at school, preparing for his Cambridge A Level end of school exams in June. A week later, when the second, more stringent lockdown was announced by Prime Minister Modi on March 24th, he managed to travel eight hours by road to Bangalore airport to catch one of the last flights out of India to Abu Dhabi and then on to quarantine and isolation in Melbourne.

Other students were not so fortunate and were unable to leave before border closures.

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Another Australian family based in Central Asia had four children also at Hebron School, but they were unable to leave in time and were ‘trapped’ at school for a month until they managed to board an evacuation charter flight from India to the UK. Their mother joined them three weeks later, but they were then marooned for several more weeks until they miraculously managed to board a flight from Germany back to Central Asia to be reunited with the rest of the family – they are still all there.

These are typical of many similar scenarios and experiences of sudden departures and disruption to life, education, family, and friends. The educational impact has been especially tough for those completing their schooling and transitioning to college/ university. Probably the hardest emotionally, has been the loss of eagerly anticipated rites of passage for school leavers: leavers’ programs, graduations, and a host of related activities and events which were cancelled. In the

case of Hebron School, where the students above were studying, there was a hastily arranged graduation in the auditorium the day before the second lockdown, attended only by resident staff, the graduation class, and a few stranded students. A pale shadow of the real thing, but huge credit to the staff and students for doing this – it will be remembered as the most unique graduation in the school’s 120-year history! Other schools arranged virtual graduation programs (see below), but many students were abruptly uprooted and displaced from all that was familiar – building of ‘RAFTs’1 to facilitate healthy closure, farewells, and transitions just could not happen in many cases.

A corollary of this disrupted completion of schooling and being uprooted suddenly and unexpectedly from all that was familiar, has been the challenge of re-entry to the passport country for further education – college/ university. Matt, the older brother referred to above who returned to lockdown in Melbourne, spent several months in isolation, staying with his great aunt and uncle, which he counts as a blessing.

But like all TCKs who follow the northern hemisphere academic calendar and return to their passport country ‘down under’ in the southern hemisphere, there is a long gap of several months between graduation (June-July) and the start of university (Feb-March). This is often a challenge – an enforced ‘half-gap year’, which if not filled productively can be a lonely and bewildering experience.

family which enabled them to interact (more online games!) and get to know each other, despite being in isolation. He also had plenty of time to process the requirements of being an adult Aussie, independent of his parents – banking, social security, university applications, etc. Another plus was working on a family-friend’s building project one day a week which got Matt outside, working with his hands, learning some building skills, and earning some pocket money before social security payments began.

On the downside, Matt found the physical, social, and spiritual limitations of isolation difficult – the lack of sport and attending church (‘I was less motivated to do online church’) and being part of a youth group and interacting with peers were all losses. But overall, Matt feels that he has survived well and was raring to go with his University of Melbourne course which began 1st March.

“This is often a challenge – an enforced ‘half-gap year’, which if not filled productively can be a lonely and bewildering experience."

In Matt’s case, as with many others whose schooling ended prematurely in March 2020, robbing them of graduation and other significant closure events, and thus the opportunity to do ‘RAFT’ well, that eightmonth gap was extended to 10 months, and much of it in isolation.

So how did Matt fare? He was grateful for the online connections he had with his school friends scattered around the world – lots of videogames, mostly after midnight because Oz is in UTC +11! Also, Matt’s family (three in Indonesia and three in Melbourne) had weekly Zoom sessions open to the extended

RAFT is an acronym well known in TCK care circles, related to transitioning well from one place to another, or from one stage in life to another. It stands for: Reconciliation, Affirmation, Farewell, and Think Destination.

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For Matt and many others there has also been much anxiety resulting from incomplete final exams and uncertainty about entry requirements for further studies, and the related visa and travel restrictions to join courses in the passport country or chosen place of study. For those who were able to get into their chosen course there has been the imposition of lockdown and online classes. Roshan, an Indian TCK in this situation wrote:

The Covid-19 pandemic has had a negative ripple effect in my life. I often feel bored, almost trapped as I stay in the house 24/7. For the first few months there was a tension that would loom in the air of the house. I could not see, touch, or feel this microscopic foe, yet its effects were all around me. That fear was truly bone-chilling.

During the lockdown I was left to my own devices in the house, for the most part, and kept myself busy, by learning an instrument, learning to cook, and reading fairly extensively.

I'm extremely grateful to have spent this time with my family, who were relatively safe in the house, but I can’t say the same for quite a few of my friends, who were left stranded from family and friends for a prolonged period of time, which has definitely left a deep, negative psychological and emotional impact – feeling scared and vulnerable, with just walls (literal or figurative) around them.

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Roshan’s older sister Monica (who suggested the title of this article) was completing her law degree and secured a job with a human rights NGO when the lockdown commenced, and she returned home:

With Covid, I have spent the longest time with my family in the past five years. Though we all have our set day and order and functions and temperaments, we somehow navigated through and spent time playing games, experimenting with food, watching movies…

Won’t say that it has been perfect, but we have managed to sail through.

Monica’s broader reflections indicate a mature sense of responsibility and optimism for the future:

This Lockdown has brought up so many questions about structures and injustice across the globe and as the young generation who are supposed to take the world forward… we have somehow been entrusted the job to find solutions for this Post-Covid world. That definitely makes me so afraid. Despite my anxieties and worries about my future, God has constantly been showing me that He is in control. God’s timing in planning out my future and my work, has been a blessing this Covid season and on many days, it gets me through.

God’s reassurance is what has been my guiding force for the past few months.

An additional challenge for TCKs of all ages who have been forced to leave their homes and return to their (often unfamiliar) passport countries, as well as the loss and grief inherent in that, is that many have returned to face quarantine, lockdown and isolation.

This is hard enough for adults, but even more so for TCKs who are used to rich socialisation in crosscultural contexts. Re-entry (often a misnomer for TCKs) is invariably challenging but made more difficult when TCKs are unable to attend school, church and youth groups, meet with extended family members, and all the other social interactions that usually help the transition and re-entry process.

Sharon, another college student in her final year, sees the value of the pandemic on her spiritual growth:

Coming home and being cut off from religious gatherings [at her college] was what I needed – and that was what the pandemic gave me… the silence I needed. It gave me time to contemplate my views, my thoughts, my values, the way I see God and the way I see my fellow human beings. It helped me build a more regular spiritual journal where so many of my thoughts that were only cluttered and mismatched in my head came to meet on ink and paper and were consolidated and made sense. My faith became more internally vocalized and I was able to practice what I think, believe, and say. This I believe, was a blessing in disguise – it was the isolation I never knew I needed.

Adult TCKs are not immune from the impact of Covid19. Our youngest son Aidan, born and raised in India, sent me a WhatsApp message some months ago that simply stated: ‘Missing India but thankful to have some photos to look through’. He is a man of few words, but this immediately resonated with me and my own experience as a TCK 40 years earlier – a sense of longing for my ‘heart-home’. There was a deeper significance in his short message, for that was the date he had booked to fly back to India to attend a classmate’s wedding in Delhi and to visit his alma mater in south India. This was his first opportunity after five years, to return to the land of his birth, his ‘heart home’, and it was thwarted by Covid-19. I rang him as soon as I received his message to talk about it.

He was not angry, just frustrated, disappointed, and philosophical – but I understood what he was feeling and was able to empathise and encourage him.

Aidan, like many TCKs, loves airports. He loves flying – so much so he is now a commercial pilot (still flying because he is a flight instructor), so he’s likely to spend a lot of time in airports in the future, if his ambitions are realised. But right now, his desire and plans to return to India, his native place, are grounded.

Jonathan is an American TCK who has spent most of his life in Thailand. He was President of the Chiang Mai International School Class of 2020 and gave the valedictory speech at graduation – to an empty auditorium but an online crowd. In his speech Jonathan quoted Einstein’s aphorism: ‘Life is like riding a bicycle – to keep your balance you must keep moving’. He encouraged his classmates to keep moving despite all the obstacles that have been thrown their way by Covid-19, and to maintain their balance as they move on through life. He also exhorted them to be grateful to those who had supported them through these difficult months. His speech can be viewed at: https://www.youtube.com/watch? v=7OnP8UMIXXo&feature=youtu.be – it is well worth watching to the end.

Gratitude despite adversity seems to be a common theme of these TCKs – it is a healthy antidote to anxiety and despair. Another common theme in their stories and feedback has been their experience and awareness of God in their lives. Monica shared an article written for a Christian student magazine in which she writes:

In God’s timing, when everything comes to a standstill is the best moment of our lives where we can rediscover ourselves. This is a time to reorient our lives to God and make Him the centre of our lives. Because, in the April 2021

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“Instant Culture”, we forget that waiting is part of what it means to be human, more importantly, what it means to be a Christian.

As human beings, we all like to think we are in control and we often forget that only God can see into our future. God doesn’t give us those quick answers or results. In fact, God has purposed us to constantly wait so that we would be entirely dependent on Him!

for longer periods. God's waiting room is a classroom! In the process of waiting, we learn obedience…God’s promises may take a long time to wait. We may have to make decisions contrary to our plans. These decisions may not involve the ‘comfortable’ yes. It will be a terrifying yes, but a yes which will place us straight into the arms of JESUS. As [TCKs], let us remember that time is never wasted with God. HE shapes and moulds HIS children and in our lowest, most vulnerable moments, He will walk with us, DESPITE the fear and anxiety we carry with us.

Joseph in his trials, disappointments and frustrations had learnt this lesson which he tried to impress on his brothers: ‘You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people’ (Genesis 50:20).

She then draws on the experience of Joseph [arguably a TCK] to illustrate her point:

Take the life of Joseph, for example. Joseph was forced to wait on the Lord, but while he waited, he got busy doing what he could.

His good attitude and work ethic resulted in promotion along the way! This story reminds us that God is not inactive when we are waiting. When you are waiting on God, most often He is working behind the scenes to put all the "missing pieces" in our lives in place before He fulfils our desires or request.

Be willing to learn and listen: waiting is part of our world, now. In the new normal, until things get smoother, we may have to wait, 19

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For all of us, TCKs, ATCKs and those who care for TCKs, the words of Proverbs 19:21 remind us (especially in this Covid-19 season) that our plans and expectations are in God’s hands: People may plan all kinds of things, but the Lord's will is going to be done. (GNT) John Barclay, Melbourne, November 2020 (Further reading: After writing this, I came across this very practical article by Lauren Wells: ‘Caring for TCKs During Covid’, https://www.alifeoverseas.com/caring-for-tcksduring-covid/, with reference to other useful resources.)

Note: A shorter version of this article, with the title ‘MISSIONS IN A COVID CRISIS: TCK IMPLICATIONS’, was published in November 2020 on the WEA Missions Commission website: https://weamc.global/covid-tcks/

John Barclay

John Barclay was born in 1954 on the Indo-Nepal border to Australian missionary parents, raised in Nepal, and attended boarding school in south India from 1960-69. He and his wife Janine are both teachers and served with Interserve from 1988-1996 in Nepal, and from 1996 to 2015 in India.

John was Principal of Gandaki Boarding School in Pokhara, and Hebron School in south India where he and Janine helped to introduce a School Leavers’/Re-entry program in 1998. For over 10 years Janine and John also served as Interserve’s International TCK advisors and resource persons. In 2010 John completed a doctoral dissertation on families serving crossculturally. John’s current area of interest is supporting Asian MKs/TCKs. He also enjoys riding his Royal Enfield motorbikes. John and Janine now live in Melbourne and relish spending time with their three TCK children, their mono-cultural son and daughter-in-law, and their four grandchildren.

Why is transitions-care important?

unmanaged mobility impacts learning.

have been confronted by students with blockages in their learning. The causes seemed to be neither cognitive or behavioral. The common denominator between these students, however, was mobility.

Facilitating learning experiences addressing mobility resulted in improved learning outcomes.

International schools are transient places where goodbyes are commonplace. Goodbyes are hard whether you are the one leaving or the one being left behind. Ignoring these losses impacts learning and can result in unresolved grief down the track.

Neuroscientists such as Mary Helen ImmordinoYang (2) explain that learning is a social brain function, and Third Culture Kid (TCK) expert, Ruth Van Reken, maintains that unresolved grief is one of the biggest challenges facing TCKs. Furthermore, the COVID-19 pandemic has placed emotional wellbeing front and center, especially in international school communities where so many have been unable to say good goodbyes. If students are not supported in processing their grief, we expect to see this interrupt their learning and wellbeing.

Navigating transition is a life skill. Whether it's a new job, marriage, birth of a child, divorce, retirement, death of a loved one, or a global pandemic, there is no avoiding transitions. By equipping and supporting our students, parents, and staff to navigate one transition, they will be better able to actively engage in the process of transition in all contexts of their lives in the future.

"By equipping and supporting our students, parents, and staff to navigate one transition, they will be better able to actively engage in the process of transition in all contexts of their lives in the future."

What is the current international school transitions-care landscape?

Our research uncovered several key themes. Our report examines each of these in detail; however, we have highlighted three of the most significant below: existence and state of transitions-care 1. The programs in international schools

Just over half of international schools have a transitions-care program but very few of them are flourishing. Fifty-four percent of participants had a transitions-care program but only 6% said their program was flourishing. More than 20 years since Dr. Barbara Schaetti (3) implored the international school community to take seriously their responsibility to provide transitions-care support for their communities, 46% of international schools still do not have a transitions-care program in place.

of transitions-care needs across 2. Differentiation the school community

Student, parent, and staff ‘Arrivers’ are prioritised by many international schools but fewer than half support those leaving during the academic year or at graduation. Less than 15% of international schools provide any transitions-care support for students returning ‘home’, ‘Stayers’, or ‘Locals.’

Robert Risch’s (4) 2008 research found ‘Arrivals’ were prioritised over other transitions in international schools. It seems not much has changed in the last 13 years as school community members navigating the other transition phases are given less support.

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of transitions-care programs 3. Assessment The majority of international schools have no

formal way of assessing the success of their transitions-care program. This is one of the greatest hindrances to the success of transitions-care programs because without assessment, it is difficult to know whether the program is truly supporting students, parents, and staff. Of those international schools with an alumni program, only 20% use their alumni as a resource to gain greater understanding of their transitions-care program success.

What can international schools do to develop or enhance their transitions-care?

Since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic, international school communities have been under considerable strain. Leaders may not have the capacity nor the energy to create large transitionscare reform. There are, however, steps they can take to develop their existing transitions-care policies and practices. Doing so can position schools to build a more comprehensive transitions-care program in the future.

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Educate your leaders: Our research found that the majority of heads of schools do not feel competent in their understanding of crosscultural transitions-care issues and need more support to develop this understanding. We are often asked, “How can I garner support for the importance of addressing transitions-care?”

Have your school leaders make a personal connection with transition. Encourage them to reflect on their own transition experiences.

Invite them to listen to students’ transition stories so they can connect first with their hearts and then with their minds. Provide your school leaders with our report to assist you as you advocate for the role transitions-care plays in learning and life.

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your alumni to understand the most 2. Survey pressing needs and success of previous

transitions-care: Assessment helps define goals for success and allows for feedback from participants on whether those goals are being met. Alumni are well placed to provide feedback to schools on the effectiveness of their transitions-care policies and practices and what more is required. Alumni care about their international school communities and want to see them improve. A prime example of this are the alumni who, in the global response to the murder of George Floyd, were motivated to address racism and the roots of colonialism in international schools. They organised together in groups, like the Organisation to Decolonise International Schools (ODIS) and asked international school leaders to open up listening forums. Now we see international schools revisiting their curriculum, hiring practices, support for BIPOC community members, and transitions-care practices as it relates to equity and belonging, too.

your counselors: Counselors are an 3. Utilize outstanding resource. In our research, 73% of

counselors said they were competent or experts in their understanding of transitions-care. Give them a seat at your transitions-care policy development table. Empower them to train and equip your community and to collaboratively build a transitions-care culture at your school.

Final thoughts The Covid-19 pandemic has affirmed and challenged a lot of our priorities and values. For many of us, it has furthered our understanding of how challenging transitions can be and what a difference support makes. With a renewed appreciation for the experience of transitions, international schools have an opportunity to make a positive difference in the learning and lives of your community, both now and in the future. It is our hope that our research will play an informing and supporting role in transforming the international school transitions-care landscape.

Our report can be found here: https://seachangementoring.com/transition-support

Ellen Mahoney Ellen Mahoney, is a TCK and alumna of international schools, the CEO of Sea Change Mentoring and Circulus Institute, and a Council of International Schools Affiliated Consultant. In 2013, Ms. Mahoney was named a David Pollock Scholar and an Echoing Green Semifinalist for founding Sea Change Mentoring, which helps international schools build Mentoring and Transitions Support programs. In 2019, she launched The Circulus Institute, which guides educators in developing adult social and emotional learning (SEL) competencies. A former teacher and school counselor, she has contributed to major youth-mentoring publications such as the forthcoming National Mentoring Partnership's Research Agenda (2021) as the E-mentoring supplement for the Elements of Effective Practice for Mentoring. She has coauthored a chapter on university transitions and suicide in a forthcoming book on suicide prevention and is the host of the Sea Change Podcast which explores the intersection of SEL and international education. She is currently based in New York City.

Jane Barron Jane Barron, M.Ed., is founder of Globally Grounded, a company dedicated to equipping students crossing cultures, their families and those who educate them to effectively navigate living and learning amidst diverse domestic and international cultures. Ms. Barron works with international and local schools (day and boarding), along with students and their families, developing their understanding of the impact of cross-cultural mobility, creating programs and implementing support mechanisms to enhance learning and life. An evaluator, developer, designer and implementer of school-based transition and cultural integration programs, Barron’s work is informed by 27 years’ experience in education, parenting TCKs while living and working abroad, a domestically mobile childhood and a repatriation to Australia. A Safe Passage Across Networks (SPAN) Board Member and a Parfitt-Pascoe Writing Scholar, Ms. Barron’s writing has been published in International Teacher Magazine, International School Magazine, The International Educator, I Am A Triangle, and she blogs at www.globallygrounded.com. Currently, Ms. Barron is based in Sydney, Australia.

References: (1)Hattie, J. (2018) Hattie Ranking: 252 Influences and Effect Sizes Related to Student Achievement, ONLINE Available at: https://visible-learning.org/hattie-rankinginfluences-effect-sizes-learning-achievement (2)Immordino-Yang, M.H. (2015) Emotions, Learning and the Brain: Exploring the educational implications of affective neuroscience. New York: W.W. Norton & Co. (3)Schaetti, B. (1996) ‘Transition programming in international schools: An emergent mandate’, InterED, Association for the Advancement of International Education (4)Risch, R. P. (2008) On the Move: Transition Programs in International Schools, Bethlehem, PA: Lehigh University

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Growing a Healthy Ecosystem Educating TCKs in a Pandemic

By Dr. Jean Kawiecki, Psy.D. Some years ago an oil company wanted to drill for oil in the Santa Barbara Channel - an area of the Pacific Ocean between the mainland and the Channel Islands. The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) did a study of the ecosystem in the area and agreed that the oil company could drill for 20 years and then they would have to pull out so the ecosystem would not be destroyed. Twenty years passed, and before dismantling the platforms, the EPA once again did a study. They found that the ecosystem had unexpectedly adapted to the platforms and would actually be harmed by their removal! So the platforms remain.

So why do I share this? Because educating our TCKs in the time of COVID-19 has some similarities to drilling in the Santa Barbara Channel. COVID-19 is no longer just a bump in the road of our kids’ education; it’s a whole new road. We have been forced to adapt and so have our TCKs. Sure, it has been difficult, but adaptation is a vital and even healthy part of life for both us and our children. Our kids’ way of learning and development has been forever changed, and our way of educating them has required special tailoring.

The good news is, one of the greatest strengths of TCKs is their ability to adapt.

TCK education was already unique even before COVID-19 came on the scene. To understand the difficulties we now face, it’s important to understand what we are already working with. The TCK’s educational experience is specially shaped by living in a country different than that of their passport. Two thirds of TCKs spend at least six years abroad, usually including at least part of their teen years.1 The vast majority live in more than one country in their developmental years and one study found that a third of them have even lived in three or more countries. They attend schools as varied as the countries they live in – from boarding schools far from parents, to international and national schools, to homeschooling in their passport language, and online schooling. They may be the only foreigner in their school, or may be in a crowd of TCKs. They may be learning in their first language or in their fifth.2 They may be learning the same subjects as their passport country peers or their host culture peers.

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Education for all kids is so much more than academic learning. For most children, including TCKs, school is not just where they learn to read and write - it’s the central clearing house for their extracurricular activities and social interactions.3 It’s where they interact with others their own age, make friends and plan play dates; where they decide to join the football team after school. For those who attend local schools, it’s where they learn to speak the local language like a native speaker.4 Compounding the lingual, cultural, and social barriers of TCK education is the constant interruption of traveling back and forth between passport country and other countries of residence.5 At times, departures can be abrupt with little time for closure. These constant transitions can mean transferring schools, resulting in possible differences in language, what is taught and how it’s taught, leaving friends and making new ones, and much more.

While there are benefits to these educational experiences – more than 90% of TCKs go on to higher education, 10% obtain graduate degrees, and many have more than one native tongue – there are also many challenges.6 Some of the greatest challenges TCKs face are transition, isolation, and anxiety. All of these hurdles affect our TCKs’ academic performance. COVID-19 has compounded these issues.

For TCKs, change and transition is as routine as putting on shoes. However, the changes that have come with the pandemic have been one of the biggest transitions our TCKs have and will face, exacerbating and compounding issues they already deal with.7 Students who were accustomed to attending school in person are thrust into a virtual learning environment — for some, even learning through their local television station.8 Children and teens whose primary peer interactions were at school, are now confined to their homes, with limited times that they can even be outside in the fresh air. Students who learned best through movement and connection are asked to learn alone in front of a screen. Children still developing lingually suddenly find themselves trying to learn from masked faces and muted voices. Without some form of inperson school, the lives of our children and youth are significantly impacted. Now, they are less physically active, eat less healthfully, spend more time on screens, and have irregular sleep patterns. They have little or no exposure to subjects that are not conducive to virtual learning, such as music, art, P.E., lab sciences.

One of the most poignant issues that has been exacerbated for our TCKs is isolation. Loneliness for TCKs was already part of their experience. Studies have shown that this type of isolation leads to higher levels of anxiety and depression, especially for adolescents. During this time of worldwide panic, physical and social distancing has compounded the loneliness our kids already experience.

This isolation leads to more concerning issues. Teen brains are wired differently than adults when it comes to social needs.9 TCKs who were required to quarantine from friends reported higher levels of anxiety symptoms.

Physically distanced from their passport country and socially distanced in their host country, many already felt isolated.10 Virtual learning and stay-at-home restrictions simply added to the issue. On top of this, TCKs are already statistically more likely to develop anxiety and depression.11 What was once a TCK issue is now a worldwide issue, with kids around the globe reporting higher levels of anxiety and depression,12 TCKs doubly so. 13 This anxiety should make us as caretakers take notice.

Since children and adolescents are still developing, they are more susceptible to the effects of long-term exposure to anxiety and stress.14 Eighty percent of mental disorders like anxiety occur before age 26, and can often be linked to the experiences of the individual.15 COVID stress has become an issue for both adults, and especially for kids.16 Children who are otherwise healthy report psychosomatic

symptoms like headaches and stomachaches, and overall fear of getting sick because of COVID-19. Behavior problems, lower grades in school, and familial conflict are just a few of the effects. Parents whose lives were also changed drastically are now responsible for overseeing all of their children’s education, only adding to their own COVID stress. Adolescents are exposed to social media that seems to constantly unearth more COVID-19 facts than can possibly be imagined. This doesn’t help settle their anxious minds. So what is going on in our bodies that is causing such upheaval?

Anxiety affects the brain and the body in a number of ways. When anxious, the body wants to protect its vital organs. This is a healthy response! It does this by sending as much blood as it can to these organs, leaving the rest of the body feeling cold from lack of circulation. The brain also sends more blood and oxygen to the right side of the brain and the amygdala (at the base of the brain) which causes the fight, flight, or freeze response. While we all appreciate right-brain trying to do his job, poor left-brain, where facts and logic are stored, is left feeling disconnected. With left-brain being left out in the cold, it is difficult for the body to connect with reality and calm itself. The effects are less noticeable with mild anxiety, but as anxiety increases, so do the effects. With long-term exposure, the body’s systems that control anxiety get worn out, and anxiety rules the roost unfettered.

And here is why anxiety is so important to TCK education – because it affects learning! When children and adolescents are anxious, the emotional right-brain is taking over. This starts a cascade of reactions that affect all parts of learning. Because right-brain and left-brain aren’t communicating, the brain isn’t able to work as a complete unit. It’s as if right-brain and left-brain are

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talking on their cell phones in the wilderness with spotty reception. Focus and attention are diminished. The child who was able to sit through a 30 minute lesson in the past, may have difficulty focusing for more than a few minutes at a time. Memory is less accessible for storage and/or retrieval. Students may need increased repetition of materials, and may need prompts for retrieving information that in the past they were able to do independently.

The next big issue COVID-19 has aggravated for TCK education is learning styles. Not all children learn the same way. The most effective education utilizes a combination of pathways. Most learners, however, have preferred methods of learning. Auditory learners have a slight advantage during virtual learning, since most information is provided in lecture format. However, they are also at a disadvantage since they aren’t able to verbally process as easily. The lag in delivery, common with Zoom and other modalities, may also decrease their learning. The visual learner, on the other hand, may work well online if they can see a presentation during a lecture. However, many teachers are not accustomed to teaching virtually and are less able to provide the visuals needed for them to thrive.

Finally, kinesthetic learners who learn well in an active, tactile, and movement-based environment are the most compromised during virtual learning. This group includes most children under the age of 9 or 10 years, since their brains are still developing and need all modes of learning available to them. These learners need to move and ‘do’ in order to get the most from what is being taught. The visual setting is not conducive to this type of learning, leaving these kids to figure things out on their own.

“Some of the greatest challenges TCKs face are transition, isolation, and anxiety.

All of these hurdles affect our TCKs’ academic performance. COVID-19 has compounded these issues."

For the TCK, virtual learning also impacts language and culture acquisition. TCKs often learn the language of the host culture while at school or in social encounters.17 Virtual learning limits the passive language learning between peers (playground, hanging out, etc.) as well as active language learning (direct instruction by the teacher). Understanding and participating in the culture around them is an important aspect of TCK life. Even students who attend an English

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speaking school in an English speaking community overseas interact with the culture around them through visiting important landmarks and historical places. These cultural experiences, and the ones that are even more in-depth for the child in a local school, are now non-existent, making TCKs less able to participate in culture in an authentic and hands-on way. They are limited to viewing their new culture from a distance.

So what does all this mean for us as educators and caretakers? Are we doomed? No! Like the oil platforms, the TCK’s ecosystem is adjusting and will adjust to the new environment. There are a number of things we can do to ensure that the new ecosystem is a healthy one for our TCKs to grow in.

Be an optimist. An adjustment of thinking can help develop optimism! Over this past year, many people have felt like they’ve lost a year of learning. But what has really happened is they’ve had a year of learning new things in new ways, even though it wasn’t what they expected.

They’ve grown in their patience while coexisting with family in a limited space, and gotten the hang of living with less activity to occupy every second of their time. They’ve learned to use technology in many more ways than could have been dreamed of. We all may have lost a few things, but we’ve gained some things as well. Mourn the losses together and help lift each other up to try new things. A great resource to get you started is The Grief Tower by Lauren Wells.

The next thing to do is create routine. Everyone does better in routine, yes, even the free spirits among us.18 The anxious mind calms when it knows what to expect. A consistent bed time and wake time are helpful to maintaining sleep rhythms

for young and old. Healthy eating, with occasional treats, combines with good sleep to set the body up for a healthy mindset. Limit news consumption! News increases anxiety in you and in your TCKs. Choose one outlet that is reliable, watch (read or listen to) it once a day, at most, and then turn it off.

Try to embrace technology your kids probably already have.19 Let’s face it. We (the parents and most teachers) are immigrants to the world of technology, while our TCKs are natives.20 They are more adept and more natural at it than we will ever be. But we can use that to our advantage. In virtual learning, look for ways that you and your child can take control of their learning.21 Children and youth who experience a sense of control in their learning have higher test scores and higher learning satisfaction. They’re more motivated to learn. Allow them to help organize their learning environment – where is it in the house/apartment?

Is it well-lit or dimly lit? Is it soft and smooshy, or formal with a straight-backed chair? Are the pencils bright and pens many-colored? Give them choices about what to learn when you can.

Consider your options when choosing classes and choose those that are motivating to your student. Make sure you have reliable internet and devices to access the classes in the most full way.22 For school classes that don’t transfer well to the virtual classroom (think music or P.E. or other electives), look for fun options your family can do together.

YouTube has a host of P.E. classes and music tutorials for different instruments. If you are a teacher, consider novel means of teaching, like videos and cool activities, to encourage students to login and participate. Look for classes that spur students on to find questions as much as finding answers.23 Look for classes that meet your goals and your TCK’s goals rather than settling for what is easy.

window or turn on a fan. Take breaks from screens and get outside whenever possible. Playing board games and card games is a sneaky way of cementing in subjects your child is already studying – a lot of math is learned while playing Monopoly, and civilizations while playing Settlers of Catan.

Cook with your kids. Use standard US measurements for learning fractions and metric measurements to learn about universal measurement. Involve your kids in scavenger hunts and obstacle courses set up in your home or yard.

And finally, increase social connections.24 This can be tricky in a socially-distanced, increasingly-virtual world. But this is a great place to capitalize on kids-of-today’s natural abilities with technology. Build into your routine scheduled times with friends and family on Zoom or other platforms by putting it on your calendar and sticking to it.25 If you are a teacher, make social time a part of class time every day.26 Ask your child or adolescent to research fun things to do virtually. Some that have been successful are games, movies, and exercise. Yes, exercise! There’s an app to watch the same video in different locations at the same time and exercise “together”. See what your TCKs can come up with. Lastly, think about finding a family with children of similar ages to your own and see if they would be willing to be in your “circle of germs”. It may be worth the risk for your small group, as long as no one is in the high-risk category.

Before we conclude, a quick word about technology and social interactions. Many parents are concerned about their kids using technology too much, especially gaming and online social circles. While in-person interaction is optimal – brain science shows that we are more at rest when we interact with people who love us – interactions on technology are more and more the norm for this generation. So what does that mean for our kids?

The greatest thing you as an educator and parent can do for your TCKs is strengthen their love for learning. Try doing activities as a family related to what your TCKs are learning in school. If you’re homeschooling, think about how to do projects instead of typical course work. This is a great way to kill two birds with a single stone – increase family together-time and increase your child’s love for knowledge.

Troubleshoot ways to learn actively, especially for younger learners. Increase mobility during classes by giving your student silly putty, a desk cycle, or a large exercise ball to sit on – anything that can help with movement while being in front of the computer or tv screen. Balance the technology scales with hands-on resources like printed books, paper planners, and physical notebooks. Open a

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Are they getting sub-optimal social skills? Interestingly, the wiring of this generation’s brains is different than that of previous generations (as shown in studies).27 And the interactions that are part of gaming — online multi-person — appear to affect the brain the same way casual, inperson social interactions affected previous generations.

So, some gaming may actually be healthy during this pandemic, as it will substitute for those social interactions that were lost, in a way that you, as a parent, may not fully be able to understand.

References: Cottrell, A. (1998). The international education of TCKs. Presented to the 1998 Phi Beta Delta Annual Conference, Cholula, Mexico.

San Diego State University. Langford, M. (2012). Global nomads, third culture kids and international schools. International education, principles and practice, 18(2), 28-43.

1

Bonebright, D. A. (2010). Adult third culture kids: HRD challenges and opportunities. Human Resource Development International, 13(3), 351-359.

2

Cockburn, L. (2002). Children and young people living in changing worlds: The process of assessing and understanding the 'third culture kid'. School Psychology International, 23(4), 475-485; Nearchou, F., Flinn, C., Niland, R., Subramaniam, S. S., & Hennessy, E. (2020). Exploring the impact of COVID-19 on mental health

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“The greatest thing you as an educator and parent can do for your TCKs is strengthen their love for learning."

A closing encouragement to you: use your resources! This applies to caregivers, teachers, and TCKs alike. Some resources that are helpful include books by Lauren Wells, Raising a Generation of Healthy TCKs and The Grief Tower, as well as Looming Transitions by Amy Young.

There are many more, but these are a great place to start.

As we develop this new ecosystem, think about the things you’ve learned during this time, the things that were good and right and beautiful, the things that you want to continue even after this crisis is over. Families have had more time together than ever before. Parents and teachers have become and are becoming more creative in nurturing the lives of our TCKs. In the end, you may never fully want to return to your old ecosystem.

outcomes in children and adolescents: a systematic review.

International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 17(22), 8479; de Miranda, D. M., da Silva Athanasio, B., de Sena Oliveira, A. C., & Silva, A. C. S. How is COVID-19 pandemic impacting mental health of children and adolescents?.

International Journal of Disaster Risk Reduction.

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Langford, M. (2012). Global nomads, third culture kids and international schools. International education, principles and practice, 18(2), 28-43; Bloomberg, J. & Brooks, D. (2001). Fitted Pieces: A Guide for Parent’s Educating Children Overseas.

SHARE Education Services.

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Langford, M. (2012). Global nomads, third culture kids and international schools. International education, principles and practice, 18(2), 28-43; Bloomberg, J. & Brooks, D. (2001). Fitted Pieces: A Guide for Parent's Educating Children Overseas.

SHARE Education Services.

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Bonebright, D. A. (2010). Adult third culture kids: HRD challenges and opportunities. Human Resource Development International, 13(3), 351-359.

7

Cockburn, L. (2002). Children and young people living in changing worlds: The process of assessing and understanding the 'third culture kid'. School Psychology International, 23(4), 475-485. de Miranda, D. M., da Silva Athanasio, B., de Sena Oliveira, A. C., & Silva, A. C. S. How is COVID-19 pandemic impacting mental health of children and adolescents?. International Journal of Disaster Risk Reduction; Phelps, C., & Sperry, L. L. (2020).

Children and the COVID-19 pandemic. Psychological Trauma: Theory, Research, Practice, and Policy, 12(S1), S73; Wang, G., Zhang, Y., Zhao, J., Zhang, J., & Jiang, F. (2020). Mitigate the effects of home confinement on children during the COVID-19 outbreak. The Lancet, 395(10228), 945-947; Exploring the impact of COVID-19 on mental health outcomes in children and adolescents: a systematic review. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 17(22), 8479; Power, E., Hughes, S., Cotter, D., & Cannon, M. (2020). Youth mental health in the time of COVID-19. Irish Journal of Psychological Medicine, 37(4), 301-305.

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Jean Kawiecki Jean lives and works in Phoenix, Arizona, traveling throughout the world working with TCKs. She is both a teacher and a psychologist. An adult TCK (military), she spent time in three countries while growing up. She is the mother of two adult TCKs. Jean’s been working in TCK education for a little over 20 years, helping families troubleshoot educational issues and meeting directly with TCKs to overcome obstacles and shine! Some of the services she provides include counseling, educational consulting, assessing for special needs, and providing intervention in crisis.

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Power, E., Hughes, S., Cotter, D., & Cannon, M. (2020). Youth mental health in the time of COVID-19. Irish Journal of Psychological Medicine, 37(4), 301-305.

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Nearchou, F., Flinn, C., Niland, R., Subramaniam, S. S., & Hennessy, E. (2020). Exploring the impact of COVID-19 on mental health outcomes in children and adolescents: a systematic review.

International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 17(22), 8479.

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Wells. L. (2020). Raising a Generation of Healthy Third Culture Kids: A Practical Guide to Preventive Care. Independently published; Crossman, T. (2016). Misunderstood: The Impact of Growing Up Overseas in the 21st Century. Summertime Publishing.

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Phelps, C., & Sperry, L. L. (2020). Children and the COVID-19 pandemic. Psychological Trauma: Theory, Research, Practice, and Policy, 12(S1), S73; Golberstein, E., Wen, H., & Miller, B. F. (2020).

Coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19) and mental health for children and adolescents. JAMA pediatrics, 174(9), 819-820; Power, E., Hughes, S., Cotter, D., & Cannon, M. (2020). Youth mental health in the time of COVID-19. Irish Journal of Psychological Medicine, 37(4), 301-305; Liang, L., Ren, H., Cao, R., Hu, Y., Qin, Z., Li, C., & Mei, S. (2020). The effect of COVID-19 on youth mental health. Psychiatric Quarterly, 91(3), 841-852.

Hannaford, J. (2016). Digital worlds as sites of belonging for third culture kids: A new literacies perspective. Journal of Research in International Education, 15(3), 253-265.

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Chou, S. W., & Liu, C. H. (2005). Learning effectiveness in a Web‐based virtual learning environment: a learner control perspective. Journal of Computer Assisted Learning, 21(1), 65-76.

Masonbrink, A. R., & Hurley, E. (2020). Advocating for children during the COVID-19 school closures. Pediatrics, 146(3).

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Britain, S., & Liber, O. (2004). A framework for the pedagogical evaluation of elearning environments.

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Marques, L., Bartuska, A. D., Cohen, J. N., & Youn, S. J. (2020).

Three steps to flatten the mental health need curve amid the COVID‐19 pandemic. Depression and Anxiety, 37(5), 405.

Hannaford, J. (2016). Digital worlds as sites of belonging for third culture kids: A new literacies perspective. Journal of Research in International Education, 15(3), 253-265

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Hay, A., Hodgkinson, M., Peltier, J. W., & Drago, W. A. (2004).

Interaction and virtual learning. Strategic Change, 13(4), 193

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Wells, L. (2020). Caring for TCKs during COVID. Blog post A Life Overseas. de Miranda, D. M., da Silva Athanasio, B., de Sena Oliveira, A. C., & Silva, A. C. S. How is COVID-19 pandemic impacting mental health of children and adolescents?. International Journal of Disaster Risk Reduction.

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Astolfi, L., Toppi, J., Fallani, F. D. V., Vecchiato, G., Cincotti, F., Wilke, C. T., ... & Babiloni, F. (2011). Imaging the social brain by simultaneous hyperscanning during subject interaction. IEEE Intelligent Systems, 26(5), 38.

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Power, E., Hughes, S., Cotter, D., & Cannon, M. (2020). Youth mental health in the time of COVID-19. Irish Journal of Psychological Medicine, 37(4), 301-305.

16

Nearchou, F., Flinn, C., Niland, R., Subramaniam, S. S., & Hennessy, E. (2020). Exploring the impact of COVID-19 on mental health outcomes in children and adolescents: a systematic review.

International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 17(22), 8479.

17

Fitted Pieces: A Guide for Parent's Educating Children Overseas.

SHARE Education Services.

18

Nearchou, F., Flinn, C., Niland, R., Subramaniam, S. S., & Hennessy, E. (2020). Exploring the impact of COVID-19 on mental health outcomes in children and adolescents: a systematic review.

International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 17(22), 8479; Marques, L., Bartuska, A. D., Cohen, J. N., & Youn, S. J. (2020). Three steps to flatten the mental health need curve amid the COVID‐19 pandemic. Depression and Anxiety, 37(5), 405.

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Stonebraker, P. W., & Hazeltine, J. E. (2004). Virtual learning effectiveness: An examination of the process. The Learning Organization.

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By Timóteo Neves

The board hung on the wall of my father’s office. It was colorful with flags and faces like a children’s encyclopedia. As soon as you opened the door of my house and stepped into the corridor, you would see the board beckoning you to turn right and enter that ventilated room. You would look at all those smiling families, some wearing traditional non-western clothes, some captioned by incognito names, and you would wonder, like I did, Who are they?

On several occasions I have stood studying those faces, of which only a small portion were familiar to me, and wondering if one day I could meet them.

My eyes would turn eagerly to the children, the smaller heads in the lower half of the picture frame.

The names were added below the main captions like an afterthought. Who were they? What were their lives like? Could I ever meet them?

The answer to the questions came in the form of chiding in my head. It was not very different than imagining if I could open the door to my wardrobe and see snow and a lamppost welcoming me to Narnia. At some point you tell yourself you have assignments to complete.

Fish Out of Water I don’t think I ever chose to become an MK caretaker.

The door simply opened to me and I gladly stepped in, no questions asked.

In spring of 2019 1 , I received a long voice note from Alicia Macedo 2. Directly from the Amazon with bird songs and what I imagined were jungle noises in the background, she invited me to participate in a TCK event in Thailand. We had not spoken since the Philhos MK camp I had attended in Brazil for the first time the year before. I didn’t think twice in accepting it.

What I got from participating in the 2019 Global TCK Summit at Chiang Mai was much more than a belly full of pad thai and mango sticky rice. I was lavished with a banquet of TCK stories and with a rich feeling of connectivity to other TCKs in my age group.

This was only a couple of years ago.

Today the board is no longer on the wall of my father’s office (for safety reasons since we live in the Middle East). But the daydreams I used to have as I stared at it, came to fruition in a way. And more than that. It is a reality I’m trying to bring to others as well.

“The stories provided me with a lens towards the reality of kids who grow up making sense of life amid a cultural hodgepodge. The connectivity defied my understanding of sociology. Are you saying that no matter where TCKs come from or where they grow up, there is something that they share?"

(MKs who attended the 2019 Global TCK Summit in Chiang Mai having lunch together at a mall. Credits to Caleb Robbins for taking the picture from his personal mobile phone.)

These were gifts that I did not take lightly.

The stories provided me with a lens towards the reality of kids who grow up making sense of life amid a cultural hodgepodge. The connectivity defied my understanding of sociology.

As the university professor of sociology asked Ruth E. Van Reken, so I asked myself: “Are you saying that no matter where TCKs come from or where they grow up, there is something that they share?”

(Pollock, Pollock, and Van Reken, 2017, xiv).

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Well, there was. And there is. I tasted of and relished that secret sauce of belonging after having longed for it during several occasions in life.

As I returned to Lebanon, I knew I had experienced and learned things which only a handful of Brazilian MKs would ever get the chance of having. I was immensely grateful towards Alicia, for inviting a fish out of water from the Philhos camp who had a shoe size twice as big as the average participants. I was also immensely grateful to God. I was confident those privileges I had been given were not going to be put to idle use.

A couple of months later, they were already brought to the limelight.

When talking to Nat 3 , who had also been at the Summit in Thailand, we started discussing online activities which many social groups were organizing to keep in touch with each other during the lockdown. So, we thought, why not do an online gathering with Philhos?

As I found out later, this suggestion had already been brought up by one of the Philhos members.

And one informal Zoom conversation I had with a friend pushed me to the front of a project to connect Brazilian MKs and TCKs from all over the globe.

4

Nat brilliantly named it “Rolê Virtual”, a virtual way of hanging out with people spread all over the world.

This was an event hosted on Zoom in which MKs who had not seen each other in a long time could catch up, recommend activities to better cope with the anxiety of lockdowns, and reflect on a devotional that was shared.

“I bonded with God-fearing people who share this love for MK care and enriched my understanding of my own identity as a global nomad."

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(Rolê Virtual Flyer created by Nat to advertise an MK gathering at Zoom. Credits to AMTB. Used with permission.)

The event kickstarted the formation of small groups divided according to gender and age where these MKs could meet and discuss some of their issues.

We used materials that addressed TCK content for discussions among these groups. Ulrika’s Third Culture Kids: A Gift to Care For 5, came in particularly handy by describing key ideas such as belonging and identity in a simple way and through practical activities.

With a click of fingers, I was propelled to the roles of event-planner, group facilitator, and MK caretaker. But the “Rolê” still snowballed into something much bigger.

Some missionary agencies saw the effectiveness of the MK online activities and contacted Philhos to add MKs from their agencies to the project. We were suddenly given the task to include dozens of Brazilian TCKs and MKs, many of whom had never been connected to a similar group before. It was like adding passengers to a train without stopping at the station. We had no choice but to slow down the engine.

Thankfully, a group of Christian youth leaders, passionate for missions and thirsty to understand the world of TCKs, also joined our team. At that

point I still felt like a fish out of water in this kind of ministry, but I was no longer the only one. They participated in trainings and meetings to familiarize themselves with the ABCs of the Philhos ministry, and I profited from these online knowhows.

In the beginning of September of 2020, after a lot of praying, I took yet another step towards MK care.

Fresh out of university, initiating as a teacher in an American school, I decided to add to my jam-packed schedule and join a training with Philhos, organized

by Alicia Macedo and Jan Greenwood. What could be an additional source of fatigue and push me dangerously close to a mental breakdown (as my mother did fear), turned out to be one of the best decisions I made that year. I bonded with Godfearing people who share this love for MK care and enriched my understanding of my own identity as a global nomad.

God guided me through this door, and I have no intentions of turning back.

Roses and Thorns My experience as an MK who wants to care for other MKs has been like a sea of roses so far. Roses, however, have their thorns.

A great challenge I faced was that of language differences.

I’m more fluent in English than in Portuguese because my education switched entirely to English at the beginning of high school. Speaking to the new team of MK leaders was trying for me as sometimes I had to explain important information on decisions and events entirely in Portuguese. It would be disrespectful to code mix on such occasions, since not all of them spoke English. My fluency in my mother tongue had become a gravel road with some unpleasant holes and bumps, and I constantly needed to overcome them to express myself clearly.

Time also got in the way.

When the “Rolê Virtual” kicked off, I was wading through my last semester at university and working on a senior thesis. Finding time to meet with leaders and to lead a group of MKs was not easy. As months passed and the “Rolê” project gathered steam, I started teaching full-time at a school, and my responsibilities only grew.

Time zones also made gatherings harder. Setting up a time for events that would work for all participants required planning and making compromises since they lived on different continents. In the Online Philhos Gathering that replaced the in person camp, 6 I stayed up until 2AM to encourage MKs .

These were moments in which I realized I am really passionate about these MK groups. I was deadbeat tired, but still had motivation in gallons.

This doesn’t mean there were no disappointments or letdowns.

In the MK group I facilitated, there was often an inconsistency of participation. Some members were quite faithful to our weekly meetings. Others, however, I needed to chase around as if they were students with incomplete assignments or who frequently ditched classes. I even considered ending my group at times. This was an issue many group leaders faced. I believe that as much as these MKs needed the connectivity, many were tired of staring at screens or joining Zoom meetings, since these were the same platforms used for online learning.

As part of the team of coordinators, I also had an unhealthy dosage of screen time.

The “Rolê” project was initially centralized on a few individuals who did most of the work 7. We separated the phone numbers of MKs, organized groups, designed scripts, planned online gatherings, created attractive flyers to promote these events, prepared and encouraged leaders, led some of the groups, and bent our knees constantly in prayer. Hats off to Nat in particular, who quite often sacrificed big chunks of her sleep completing these tasks.

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(Print screen of an MK gathering on Zoom.)

It was only natural that towards the end of the year we were all burned out. Today, the project has matured, and the responsibilities have been divided among other leaders. But even if it hadn’t, even if I could foresee another burnout in the horizon, I think I would continue. This is how deeply the positive effects impacted me.

In moving from thorns to roses, I can’t ignore the support and friendship I cultivated with the team coordinators and leaders. My respect and admiration towards the Philhos team has been carved in stone. I have also developed bonds with some MKs which I’m confident will be carried out for life.

I also benefited from the connectivity aimed towards these Brazilian MKs. It was like cooking a dish which you know you will enjoy eating the most.

With the global pandemic, I lost touch with many social circles and friends that I used to see on a frequent basis. The MK groups filled that social gap.

The material discussed was also key to help me cope with the stress of being in an endless series of lockdowns in Lebanon. Both the TCK-driven content and the theme of resilience used later were enriching to me. They added more nutrients to the fertile soil which was the whole experience.

Yes, I have grown.

As a team leader. As a TCK. And as a servant of the Lord.

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"This MK, like many others, had returned to Brazil from the mission field and secluded himself from the world, making his parents very concerned.

God used the 'Rolê' to act on his life."

It was priceless to see the impact and transformation in the lives of MKs who were opening the door of 8 connection to others like them for the first time.

The “Rolê Virtual” project started in April of 2020 with 56 MKs and around 15 leaders. It carried on for three “seasons” of approximately six weeks with breaks in between. In February of 2021, the fourth 9 season began with 14 leaders and nearly 140 MKs. The mother of an MK who participated in the groups shared: “He was very excited and very motivated after he met the group. It helped [him] a lot to make new friends. He tells me that they often have a good laugh.” This MK, like many others, had returned to Brazil from the mission field and secluded himself from the world, making his parents very concerned.

God used the “Rolê” to act on his life.

I empathize deeply with these transformations and imagine the joy of these MKs. Many of them probably had colorful boards of their own and looked at those faces wondering who the others were and what their lives were like, until they saw them for real.

Binoculars On!

References:

I hope that I can set an example which other MKs, and especially male MKs, will follow in caring for others. The number of male leaders is dwarfed by that of female leaders in the Philhos MK care. This does not mean that there are less male Brazilian MKs around the globe. It strikes me that “care” is a word which is sooner connected to women than men. But I believe that this attitude can be changed within MK ministry.

1

I hope to see the bonds formed through online platforms bear fruit to face-to-face interactions. The global pandemic has revolutionized Brazilian MK ministry. I can’t wait to see what the next in person camp will look like.

I also hope to see more Brazilian MK stories being told. There is very little written on it. Very little shared.

I am willing to be a catalyst to that if God guides me in this path.

These aspirations still seem surreal, like daydreams.

But I am done chiding myself.

I live in the Northern Hemisphere, which could make it autumn if you live below the Equator.

2

Alicia Macedo is the founder of Philhos, the MK Department for the Brazilian Association of Cross Cultural Missions (AMTB). She has been serving with WEC International in Brazil since 1985 and has authored and edited many books on MK Care in Portuguese.

Natalia Morais is a Brazilian MK who lived for 8 years in Angola with her family, before returning to Brazil. She has participated as a leader in five Philhos camps.

3

4

“Rolê” is a Brazilian word meaning a hangout.

It was used with permission and it is currently being translated to Portuguese.

5

6

Other MKs in Lebanon and India were also happy to stay up until early morning participating in the event.

7

The original Rolê coordinators were Alicia, Diná, Nat, and me. The project was guided by the Philhos leadership.

8

There are also assistant leaders in each group.

9

This information is used here with permission, taken from a 2020 report issued by the Philhos leadership team (Alicia, Rosifran, Jan, Rúbia, Diná, and Daisy).

Referenced Works: Ernvik, U. (2019). Third Culture Kids: A Gift to Care For. Familjegladje.

Timóteo Pereira Neves

Pollock, D., Pollock, M.V., & Van Reken, R.E. (2017). Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds (3rd ed.).

Nicholas Brealey Publishing.

Timóteo Pereira Neves is a third culture kid, an inspired learner, and a passionate writer. He was born in Brazil and moved to South Africa and then to Lebanon in his early teenage years as his family joined a Brazilian missionary agency. He has lived in Lebanon for more than 8 years, completing high school and earning a B.A. in English Linguistics at Haigazian University. He currently teaches High School English at American Community School in Beirut.

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Helping Families Manage Fears and Stress Surrounding COVID-19 April J Remfrey, MS It has always been part of our strategic family plan that our daughter would have a multicultural upbringing, far from the homogeneous small U.S. town where I spent my childhood. When she was eight years old, we decided to move from the U.S. to a community in Switzerland with extensive ethnic and language diversity. We love the impact this departure from the familiar has had on our daughter.

Thus, when it came time to make decisions about her education, we felt comfortable with her choosing a different path than ours. I had followed the standard education pathway, from high school to undergraduate university studies and then on to graduate studies, culminating in a master’s degree. But, when our daughter finished middle school, instead of continuing with traditional high school classes, she enrolled in a three-year apprenticeship in conjunction with academic courses. While my daughter’s experiences are uncharted territory for us, we have always felt a sense of comfort provided by the notion that our decision-making was supported by a foundation of research, contemplation, and foresight. That is until 2020!

For all our planning and considerations, what I couldn’t have predicted was how COVID-19, a virus I could previously only imagine in my nightmares, would change our world. To varying degrees, some more traumatic than others but challenging nonetheless, we have all been impacted by the virus. In regards to our daughter, we couldn’t have anticipated that the end of my daughter’s middle school career would be spent on a computer and that all schoolwide celebratory events would be cancelled. I had no idea that she would have to wear a mask in public for fear of catching a virus that was infecting and killing millions of people around the world. There was no way to predict and prepare for a global pandemic or the emotional strain and trauma that it would bring into our lives. Bottom line, when it came to COVID, we definitely didn’t have a strategic family plan! Yet here we are more than a year into a global pandemic, and it begs the question: How do we help our children process and manage this experience without being overwhelmed by fear, trauma, uncertainty, sadness, loneliness, anger…(the list goes on)?

As we continue to support and educate our children during this global pandemic, and embark on the end of the academic year transitions, we need to take a multifaceted approach. It is essential that parents and educators focus on understanding the macro and micro implications that Covid19 factors have had on our children’s experiences, emotional well-being, and education. From this foundation of understanding, we can then provide support and educational systems that are comprehensive in nature and consider both the structure and flexibility needed during these difficult times. This article will focus on resilience in children, helping children deal with scary experiences, providing support for children with special education needs during Covid, and providing smooth school transitions for all children considering Covid implications.

Are our Children Resilient?

I have often heard people say, in relation to COVID-19 and other challenging situations, “Don’t worry! Kids are resilient.”

Resilience is defined as the process of handling stress and recovering from trauma or adversity. So before we take a sigh of relief and agree that our children ARE O.K, or that they WILL be O.K., let's ask ourselves, “Is the notion that kids are naturally resilient really true?”

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If we consider that the definition of resilience involves the phrases “the process of” and “recovering from,” implying that resilience is not an innate skill, but one developed over time, then the answer is no, children are not innately resilient. Children, like adults, try to survive, but that doesn’t mean that trauma and stress won’t have a significant impact on their health or a residual impact on their lives.

Oftentimes, we don’t know the degree of their struggle because children don’t have the means of articulating how they are feeling or what they are experiencing. In order for children to become resilient, to emerge healthy from significant adversity, they typically need to first overcome or process insignificant stressors and obstacles in a supportive environment. These successes help them build their confidence, bolstering hope and developing problemsolving skills that will enable them to manage the next greater challenge.

As a parent, it can sometimes be painful watching our children get hurt, make mistakes, and fail. As caregivers we want our children to be happy and successful, but we need to recognize that happiness and success involves learning from mistakes, solving problems, knowing how to manage stressful situations, and deal with chaos. Sheltering your 1 children from all stressors sets them up for failure because they need opportunities to develop the skills, hope, and confidence that they need to overcome future issues. When our child has a fight with their friend, doesn’t make a team, fails a test, falls down and gets hurt, it is not in our child’s best interest to make their problems go away, nor should we withdraw all support and allow them to fend for themselves.

Our role is to provide unconditional love, encourage problem-solving, and respect their emotions. We have to remember, not all stress is bad stress; some stress provides opportunity for growth.

“In order for children to become resilient, to emerge healthy from significant adversity, they typically need to first overcome or process insignificant stressors and obstacles in a supportive environment. These successes help them build their confidence, bolstering hope and developing problem-solving skills that will enable them to manage the next greater challenge."

Developing Resilience As we have hit the one-year mark of this global pandemic, it is important that parents and educators focus our efforts on creating environments in which we help our children develop resilience and deal with their fears. The Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University 2 says there are four key factors to building resilience. I chose to highlight the three below:

1. During my 22-year teaching career and 16 years as a Supportive relationships with at least one adult.

parent, I have also come to realize that, while ideal, it isn’t only necessary for children to have a supportive relationship with a parent. They also benefit from support from adults outside their home. In addition, teenagers with supportive parents also benefit from the support of adults other than their parents, such as coaches, teachers, relatives, etc., as they work through seeking independence from their parents.

sense of self-efficacy and perceived control. As a 2. Afamily, you can also create scenarios in which your

children have small amounts of control over situations.

This starts with giving your child choices and allowing them to make their own decisions. You don’t want to leave the door open to a child-controlled home, but there are small options you can provide your child with that can make a big difference in their sense of control.

For example, “Would you like to go to bed now?” can be changed to, “Would you like to go to bed in five minutes or 10 minutes?” Instead of saying, “You must wear a hat today; it is cold,” you can say, “Do you want to wear your blue or red hat?” Simple shifts in language can put perceived control back into the hands of the child.

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and adaptive skills are vital to the 3. Self-regulating development of a child. Two common examples involve managing emotions and transitioning from one activity to another. Parents can help develop selfregulation skills by giving their children a five-minute warning before changing activities. For example, five minutes before everyone must come to the dinner table, let your children know. In this way, you are helping your child understand an abstract concept, time, but you are also giving them a warning so the need to transition is not a surprise. Over time, these five-minute warnings will become ingrained and your children will quickly regulate difficult emotions when required to leave a fun activity. Eventually, they will be able to prepare themselves for the end of an activity on their own. It is also important for parents to model self-regulation for their children, showing their children how to manage difficult emotions.

Talk to your children about what they have heard from others and how they are feeling about what is happening. Your children may not tell you what is going on without prompting. Think about how often you ask your child about school or how things are going and they say, “Nothing really,” or “Fine.” Asking them specific, open-ended questions is more likely to encourage them to talk about what is going on. For example, did anyone in your class talk about the coronavirus today? What do you think about everyone wearing masks at the store? And, how does that make you feel?

Give children the facts but also provide context. The “why” is very important for all of us when we take in new information. For example, talking with older children about why this pandemic is so dangerous in our era of global travel. The “why” helps us categorize information appropriately in our mind’s filing system.

When we look at facts and context it can help our children take an event out of their mind’s folder labeled fears and place it in the factual folder of history or medical information.

Avoid labeling people as bad or evil because this may only heighten fears in our children. This is valuable when discussing the news or how people in general are handling the virus and how you feel about it.

Take positive action together - how can you be a helper? I would like to emphasize this last point because coming up with ideas to be a helper or a problem-solver provides children with a sense of control of their environment, even amongst chaos, and also a sense of empowerment that they can make a difference. Control and empowerment are incredibly effective in dealing with difficult situations.

Dealing with Scary Things Another important component of helping your kids deal with Covid is to have a communication strategy. Simply put, we should understand how to best speak with our children about 3 scary things going on in the world. NPR interviewed multiple child development experts who suggested the following: Limit exposure to the news. If you feel it is appropriate for your child to watch the news, make sure you do so together. It is important to discuss what they saw, help them process, and answer their questions immediately.

I would also like to add that it is important to manage adult conversations around children, as even young children can absorb tone and catch pieces of adult conversation that aren’t developmentally appropriate and may evoke fear. If you are struggling yourself, be cautious that you do not overshare your fears. It is valuable to talk to your child about whom they speak with when they have fears, but do your best not to overwhelm them with your own fears. A helpful intervention for children who are feeling uncertain or scared is for parents and educators to model positive conversations, talk to their kids about which techniques have worked for them, or talk about fears that they had but were able to overcome.

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As parents and educators, we must recognize that fears about corona or the impact it is having on our kids' lives will likely present itself in many ways. Oftentimes, children act out or have fears about something that is completely separate from what is actually bothering them. This is similar to the child who is hungry and decides to hit her brother or have a tantrum over the T.V. being turned off, or the classic tired child who is hysterically crying about having to go to bed.

Children of all ages will need more attention and compassion during this time of global crisis to help them feel safe.

1 Meditation is an easy tool we can all use to provide calm for both kids and parents during this time of crisis. There are some really great programs for kids you can find online, but it is also really simple to just have your child focus on deep breaths while feeling or watching their belly move. You can also ask them to take a few moments to focus on smelling three things, hearing three things, and seeing three things.

These techniques give them a chance to quiet their minds. If you would like to increase positive thoughts, kids typically enjoy talking about what they are grateful for in their day.

This is an exercise that can be done before mealtime or bed, and kids are often excited to share. I also recommend a loving kindness meditation, a type of meditation that is very concrete. A guided loving kindness meditation involves thinking about yourself and others in a loving way and wishing them well.

"Our role is to provide unconditional love, encourage problem-solving, and respect their emotions. We have to remember, not all stress is bad stress; some stress provides opportunity for growth."

Supporting Children with Special Needs During Covid Children who have unique learning needs are the most vulnerable students impacted by Covid. Not only are some of these children, depending on any medical diagnosis, at greater risk for experiencing severe Covid symptoms, but they are also the children who need the most consistent support and structure from their schools. Unfortunately, due to Covid safety measures, children who receive extra support outside of general education are missing out on valuable services at a significant rate. In the United States,

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where special education services are mandated by law, this has been a very difficult time for families and school districts alike. Adhering to legally bound time frames for testing students who have suspected deficits has been a struggle.

While the challenges we have faced in 2020/2021 are unprecedented, there are a few considerations schools should consider when supporting special education students: surveying parents to learn about the gaps 1. Consider they are seeing to create a full picture of individual students’ needs.

individualized plans for transitioning students 2. Create back into the school setting with flexible re-entry in mind. related service providers have all the 3. Ensure resources needed to ‘see’ their current caseload during distance learning. And once schools are back to face-to-face learning, students need to be seen within the first week of return. an individual in charge of all transitions to 4. Have monitor and ensure that no student is falling through the cracks. team meetings as often as possible to 5. Coordinate troubleshoot and modify services due to changing needs.

Home learning has been difficult for all students and parents, but it has been especially difficult for those that have additional learning needs.

Preparing for End of Year Transitions As educators, students, and parents prepare for the end of the school year, it is important that we take a multifaceted approach, considering typical school transitions as well as the implications of Covid. If there was ever a year to be on target and proactive with preparing for transitions, this year is it!

Effective transitions should always include a comprehensive learner profile for each student (updated at least annually) and available for new teachers/support staff. The learner profiles I create for students are in addition to formal reports/testing results, and include information from classroom teachers, SPED teachers, aides, parents, etc., and provide insight into: The student’s strengths The student’s weaknesses Extra support services and the amount of time and frequency with which they are provided (for example, reading support 1 x per week for 50 minutes) Strategies (formal and informal) that foster student success For students with learning differences, educators will also want to provide any formal testing, goals and objectives, and progress monitoring data.

This year it is also essential that we consider how Covid may have impacted each student and provide insights for educators going forward. I would like to suggest a few ideas that can help transitioning students after more than a year of irregular academic experiences transition smoothly to their next academic year.

First, I would like to recommend that, included with each learner profile, teachers offer an overview of the general education experience for their classroom. For instance, was the class in person, hybrid, or fully online? Specifically, when and where gaps in in-person instruction occurred.

Second, educators should also consider progress monitoring and identifying gaps in students' skill development and content knowledge. On a global scale, teachers have done an incredible job improvising during the pandemic, but most are still reporting that their students have struggled in certain areas in regards to retention and developing new skills. Teachers can help make further teaching more efficient and effective by identifying gaps through assessments and progress

“It is essential that parents and educators focus on understanding the macro and micro implications that Covid-19 factors have had on our children’s experiences, emotional well-being, and education. From this foundation of understanding, we can then provide support and educational systems that are comprehensive in nature and consider both the structure and flexibility needed during these difficult times."

monitoring. Thus, new teachers can be provided with data they can use to develop future curricula and remediate missed/insufficient learning experiences.

Finally, each student can also benefit from parents and teachers noting the emotional impact for students regarding Covid. For years to come, we will need to be aware of the impact Covid will have on students' emotional well-being. The influence may not be obvious now for all students, but it can have residual effects in the future.

Overall, a gathering of qualitative and quantitative data on the learning and general experience for each student over the past 18 months will help us reduce the negative impact on students. Teachers and students with targeted education plans based on data will have an accelerated recovery compared to those who do not.

April J Remfrey, MS

References:

April J Remfrey, MS, is an educational consultant that focuses her time working with globally mobile families that have children with special needs when they are searching for a new school. April has also created an ILP/RTI goal documentation cloud-based program for international schools and serves on the board of directors for SENIA.

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She has a BA in special education and elementary education at Luther College in Decorah, Iowa, USA and received a Master’s Degree from the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee, USA in Exceptional Education. She has been a teacher for 20 years in three different countries and has experience in the public, private, and international school environments.

Since 2013, April, her husband, and daughter have lived in the Zurich, Switzerland area. Never one to sit still, April likes to hike in the stunning Swiss Alps, cook gourmet food, and play clarinet in the local concert band.

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In conclusion, as we take measure of this past year and look forward, towards continued struggles, the world can seem like a scary place to raise children. And while it is true that children are not innately resilient and won’t necessarily take everything that is happening in stride, we should recognize and find comfort in the notion that they have parents and educators who love them and are there to support them. Have confidence in yourself that you are the biggest component of your child’s safety net and that you don’t need to shelter them from everything, but rather, guide them as they learn to manage their fears.

Recognize that helping your child through this experience will provide them with the strength, confidence, and skills to manage future challenges. Stay safe!

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Remfrey, April. Remfrey Education Consulting, 2020, www.remfreyeducationalconsulting.com/post/lawnmowerparents.

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“Resilience.” Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University, 17 Aug. 2020, developingchild.harvard.edu/science/key-concepts/resilience/.

3

Kamenetz, Anya, and Cory Turner. “What To Say To Kids When The News Is Scary.” NPR, NPR, 10 Jan. 2020, www.npr.org/2019/04/24/716704917/when-the-news-is-scarywhat-to-say-to-kids.

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Where I Fit, or Do I?

Adult Third Culture Kids: Potential global leaders with global mindset,

Despite odd interactions of this type, there were times when I felt like I fit in and clicked, usually when I was with someone who also had an international, cross-cultural, or marginalized experience. I often felt a connection with people of color. Yet, when I talked about identifying with them, the response was quizzical and sometimes disapproving, probably similar to my perplexity with my classmate’s response. Again, I felt misunderstood and judged; I kept asking myself why my TCK experience wasn’t helping me build connections with people of color. I felt an affinity with them, but they didn’t feel one with me. Why?

“TCKs have a propensity to develop a global mindset, which encompasses an acceptance and valuing of difference and an interest in diverse others and environments. This is one of the gifts of living and growing up in the expat life if we choose to use it for growth. It also can be a hindrance when we don’t recognize that the openness we gain from our experience may be incomplete in the context of race and racial injustice.”

Questions & Prayers: Am I Marginalized or Oppressed?

My question became more urgent during the events of the last year with the world conversation regarding racial justice and Black Lives Matter. I wanted to understand why my experience as a TCK was not resonating the way I had hoped with the experiences of people of color and in particular, Black U.S. Americans. So, I prayed that God would open my eyes.

My prayers led me to various books about racism and discussions with ATCKS of color. In one of those discussions Doni of Culturs Magazine explained to

me that as a TCK, though being marginalized and feeling the otherness of not fitting in, I was not oppressed because of the color of my skin. It seems obvious now, but at the time I did not comprehend that the marginalization I felt did not equate to the oppression of the Black experience. Although my TCK experience gave me insight into what it is like to be different and unaccepted, because I am White it was not oppression. Although marginalized, I was not discriminated against because of being a TCK. This realization gave me new insight into being a TCK and began building a bridge for me to connect in a way I had not before. It also caused me to ponder more deeply the differences between TCK growing up experiences, particularly for TCKs of color.

One of the commonalities that emerged from my doctoral research interviews with ATCKs, was how disgusted, “shocked,” and “taken aback” they were to observe and experience intolerance and racism upon return to the U.S. One mother of a U.S. Black TCK teen, whose son had not experienced discrimination until moving back to the States, discussed the difficulties and pain of her son’s transition to living with racism. Many of those I interviewed also discussed how living across cultures gave them an ability to empathize and be a bridge between people and situations of difference.

My research suggested that TCKs have a propensity to develop a global mindset, which encompasses an acceptance and valuing of difference and an interest in diverse others and environments. This is one of the gifts of living and growing up in the expat life if we choose to use it for growth. It also can be a hindrance when we don’t recognize that the openness we gain from our experience may be incomplete in the context of race and racial injustice.

Two Streams of Thought On my path of reflection and study, I found there are two streams of thought, the first being cross-cultural, intercultural, and multicultural, which is what we as global nomads hear most about, and the second, diversity, equity and inclusion, antiracism, and racial and social justice. But the two streams didn’t appear to overlap, so I asked why. What I found is they

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evolved differently, one out of an increasingly globalized environment with the need to adapt across cultures and historically from colonialism, and the second stream emerging from the call for racial justice in response to centuries of oppression of people of color and indigenous peoples. To me, these two streams are not mutually exclusive. If I am to be accepting and value differences because I am working with others different from myself, do I not need to develop a global perspective that allows me to relate across cultures, and become interculturally competent with cultural humility? My answer was yes, which meant that I should understand multiculturalism and intercultural competency in the context of racial justice.

In one of the workshops I attended to learn more about racial justice, I asked Dr. Jamie Washington of the Social Justice Training Institute why multiculturalism and cultural competency training seem to be on a different trajectory from diversity, equity, and inclusion. His reply was that learning about other cultures puts us on an equal standing without looking at the culture of whiteness and history of race. Multiculturalism leaves out the imbalance of power, privilege, and dominance in the context of what’s valued in terms of race in U.S. culture.

My search for answers to my question of why people of color didn’t feel an affinity with me was revealing.

What I found was when sharing my cross-cultural experience as a TCK, I was not acknowledging the harm of racial injustice and oppression. In my need to find friends to identify with, I was oblivious to the need for me to acknowledge the pain of racism that I represented because of my whiteness. I was not recognizing the power imbalance afforded me because of my race. Now it is clear to me for healing and reconciliation to occur, along with my development of intercultural competency, I need to humbly acknowledge the harm of racism and lament it (Morrison, L., 2020). Without that my understanding is incomplete, making it difficult if not impossible to empathize and build bridges between people of color and myself.

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Many years ago, before I knew about TCKs, when a professor asked me how my attitudes about race became different from my parents, I didn’t have an answer. Then years later, while conducting my doctoral research, I realized growing up in many places gave me the opportunity to be around people different from myself. When we lived in Japan my mother taught me people are the same everywhere; “We’re all just people,” she would say.

Although some might say it was a simplistic explanation, it gave me a starting place to recognize the value of people no matter who they are or where they originated. Despite her actions not aligning with her lessons, my experience living in a country vastly different from the U.S. was how my thinking began shaping differently from my parents.

Growing up as a TCK set me on my path to realize I had much to learn about my biases and the benefits of my whiteness.

“How can I be an ally and spread God’s love and acceptance to all people, not just to the people who look or believe like me? "

Greater Than All of These is Love.

For God is Love.

As I continue with my studies of racism and the differences of experiences of TCKs of color from my experience, my question now is how can I be an ally and spread God’s love and acceptance to all people, not just to the people who look or believe like me?

Isn’t that what God is, Love? Isn’t that what the Bible teaches me in 1 John 4:7-21, that God is love and that we love because God first loved us? I thought, If God is love and he wants me to become more like him, then how do I extend his love and acceptance to ALL people? How do I support those who are racialized because of the color of their skin and how can I participate in racial reconciliation? I believe global nomads need to build upon the learning from their expatriate experiences to facilitate racial reconciliation.

As an educator, I value the importance of experiential learning. There is nothing more experiential than living in a new environment with daily unique experiences. I see the responsibility of parents and teachers helping TCKs unravel the complexity of living outside their parent’s home country and/or culture and gain an understanding of how it influences who they are and will become as adults. Consequently, it behooves us to allow young people to experience the unusualness of life outside of their home country and learn to value the differences so they can apply these valuable lessons in their careers and lives when they grow up. One of those lessons is learning to accept, value, and thrive amongst people different from themselves, and to develop a global mindset that will help them build successful careers and relationships. A definition of global mindset is being comfortable with being uncomfortable in uncomfortable situations. Another is influencing others different from oneself (Javidan & Walker, 2013). Isn’t that what learning to live in a foreign land is about? Becoming comfortable with the uncomfortable? Learning to relate to others different from oneself and understand how to acknowledge experiences very different from one’s own? By developing these traits, they can become

empathic followers of Jesus Christ, who will share his love freely without bias, becoming bridges between difference to facilitate understanding and healing.

In spreading the gospel my goal is to share God’s love. God’s love gives me the assurance that I am valued and accepted by him; therefore, if I am to be like him, then I must endeavor through prayer and action to extend his love and acceptance. I must include and treat equitably everyone, even those whom I may not understand, may feel uncomfortable with, and who may be different. These questions led me to new questions such as, How can I help break down the barriers of exclusion and marginalization that I’ve felt because of being a TCK? How can I humbly be a bridge builder between those who are marginalized and discriminated against because of their color or race with those who are White? How can I help those who are White be open to acknowledge the experiences of persons of color and be willing to hear their stories of discrimination and racism and be willing to work towards racial reconciliation?

Our Challenge: Changing Hearts and Minds God asks us to examine our hearts and minds, so my ongoing challenge to myself and now I ask you to join me, is to examine ourselves for biases of which we may not be aware. Ask, How may we unknowingly contribute to racism? Ask ourselves, How can we be examples of God’s love and reconciliation?

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Ask, How can we teach our children and students to love one another the way Jesus loves them and treat others with love and respect no matter who they are, what color they are, where they are from, what language they speak, or the religion they follow? As well as ask, How can we acknowledge others’ life experiences, so they feel heard and seen? As we consider ways of bridging differences, then we need to put those ideas into action to bring others together with love. The things we can do may be daily interactions of listening, showing respect and kindness, and asking for forgiveness. One individual who has done this on a larger scale is Latasha Morrison with her non-profit organization Be the Bridge.

For those of us who have moved to new countries and cultures we understand that learning to live in a new place with new customs and new people, we learn to be resilient as we learn to adapt - not just to survive, but to serve and fulfill our purpose for being there. Adapting isn’t only about learning about the people and places; it’s also learning about ourselves and becoming interculturally competent. Humbly asking ourselves who we are and why, what made us that way, what is our culture, beliefs, and values, and then going a step further into the uncomfortable place of examining our implicit biases that may be affecting our ability to relate to and interact with our new surroundings and the people we meet. We need to explore these questions so we can carry out the mission set before us effectively. I’ve learned through my work in intercultural competency that when I understand the water I live in, the culture I’m from, as a fish lives and breathes the water it swims in and accepts as its home, then when I need to, I can be comfortable with transitioning into the discomfort of being a fish out of water.

My request is that you use the gift of living in unique circumstances to broaden yours, your children’s, and students’ lives and minds. Take advantage of every opportunity to give them experiences they will look upon not only as some of the most memorable and valuable of their lives, but also as ones that shaped them into becoming resilient, kind, and loving reconcilers of Jesus Christ.

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Dr. Patricia A. Stokke Dr. Patricia Stokke teaches Intercultural Competency, Human Resource Management, International Business Management, and Business Ethics at several colleges and universities. She also consults with organizations on diversity, equity, and inclusion, as well as presents workshops on cultural competency and sexual harassment prevention.

Her experiences of growing up in Japan and many US locations, as a military and corporate TCK, sparked her interest in intercultural and global mindset development.

Her doctoral research, Adult Third Culture Kids: Potential global leaders with global mindset, explored the propensity of adults, who lived outside their parents’ culture during their formative years, to think and act globally. She was a 2013 Pollock Scholar for Families in Global Transitions (FIGT) and presented her research at the FIGT 2014 conference. She also presents her research and related topics at other academic and professional conferences. You can find more information about Dr. Stokke’s research (as well as her book) on her website: https://culturalworldconsulting.com.

References: Bethel, P. (2020, August). Interview with Dr. P.A. Stokke.

Doni A. (2020, September 17). Interview with Dr. P.A. Stokke.

Dr. Jamie Washington (2020, November 16). Workshop presentation, “Adopting an Anti-racist Lens.” West Valley College, Saratoga, CA. Javidan, M., & Walker, J. (2013). Developing Your Global Mindset. Edina, MN: Beaver’s Pond Press, Inc. Jones, R. P. (2020) White Too Long. New York, NY: Simon & Schuster.

Morrison, L. (2020). Be the Bridge: Pursuing God’s Heart for Racial Reconciliation. www.yates2.com: Yates & Yates.

Stokke, P. A. (2014). Adult Third Culture Kids: Potential global leaders with global mindset. Saarbrücken, Germany, LAP LAMBERT Academic Publishing.

Child Safety Issues with Online TCK Programs Sheryl O’Bryan, Lyn Shingledecker-Wheeler, Bret Taylor Online youth group is suddenly interrupted by verbal and written profanity; a teaching seminar is “zoom-bombed” with hundreds of nefarious participants spewing x-rated comments in the chat to disrupt the teaching. Welcome to the new digital frontier ushered in by COVID-19.

The global pandemic forced most organizations to reconsider and restructure the ways they engage youth and families, debrief individuals and groups, hold TCK youth group meetings, and continue with education. As caregivers, educators, and counselors pivot to provide support in the digital domain, new issues arise regarding best practices in this borderland that joins the real and the virtual.

Zoom, SKYPE, WhatsApp, and Google Meet are the new verbs of the pandemic generation. This virtual everything trend is expected to continue

after the world opens again. Kids previously underserved due to remote locations or other barriers to participation now find parity with their peers. Child safeguarding must be expanded from the face-to-face world to the virtual one.

Because this new frontier for providing support for TCKs opened, it is important to consider the nuances of this context. Some of the established rules still apply. The regular child safeguarding parameters of your organization should be utilized, such as: Background checks, references, and staff training Appropriate ratio of staff to students Two or more unrelated staff members

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Knowing how to make child safety reports when staff may not be physically in the same location as the minor Having contact information for parents should their kids display concerning issues or suddenly break off communication Having resources available to support kids and families

Parental awareness and permission of their child’s involvement. It may be appropriate to have parents sign a written consent form.

Keeping supervisors informed of your online programs/events for accountability Some additional practices to consider for virtual offerings that involve kids should include: Avoiding apps/communication that automatically delete messages like SnapChat and some Instagram messages.

Stay with apps which leave a digital trail and maintain that history to stay above reproach.

Considering having “work” accounts with dedicated social media profiles which supervisors can access through your login credentials Additional training to know how to reduce the risk of malicious/unknown participation on your chosen platform

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Keeping in mind kids who have special needs (neurological, mental health, etc.) that may need accommodations in the online environment Although virtual meetings of all sorts supplanted in-person ones in the last year, few caregivers prefer meeting with kids this way. However, new opportunities were created. God is able to use both in-person and online communication to transform a time of disconnection into greater global connection. As we continue to forge into this new world, we must be as vigilant about child safety.

“This virtual everything trend is expected to continue after the world opens again.

Kids previously underserved due to remote locations or other barriers to participation now find parity with their peers. Child safeguarding must be expanded from the face-to-face world to the virtual one."

References: 2020 Virtual MKCS - “Developing Virtual Community” a workshop by Sheryl O'Bryan and Bret Taylor Child Safety Protection Network: https://www.cspn.org/

Sheryl O'Bryan Sheryl O'Bryan began her life in MK world teaching high school social studies and English in Cote d'Ivoire. Over a decade later, she left in the middle of a civil war and joined her sending agency's member care team as the TCK Care and Education coordinator/specialist. She now serves as Director of TCK Services and Director of Communications for Interaction International. Sheryl lives in Florida. When she's not trying to unpack and get rid of things, she can be found doing an art or away from her computer at the beach.

VPN Mentor: https://www.vpnmentor.com/blog/the-ultimate-parentguide-for-child-internet/ Household Quotes: https://householdquotes.co.uk/keeping-children-safe-online/

Bret Taylor

Lyn Shingledecker-Wheeler Lyn Shingledecker-Wheeler is an MK who grew up in Latin America and she returned to the mission field working with MKs and their families. She transitioned to working with college-age MKs developing resources as well as supporting and connecting them. Currently, she serves as the co-leader for Global TCK Care and Education for SIL and in TCK Care and Education and staff care in the Americas area. She serves on the MKCS planning team and chairs the MK Education Summit planning team.

Bret Taylor has been passionate about journeying alongside MKs since 1999. He began this journey as a chaplain/teacher at West Nairobi School in Kenya. In 2003 he joined Wycliffe USA and served as the Director of Youth and Family ministry at JAARS in NC. 2019 gave him the opportunity to join Interaction International. He has led programs and spoken at retreats around the globe and currently chairs the leadership team for MKCS.

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Cross-Cultural Transition Seminars (Teens)

Educational Resources

Online Community for MKs/TCKs Counseling

Annual Conferences Child Safety and Support

Training Opportunities

Additional Resources

Are we missing something? Email us if you have a resource you believe is essential.

Note, this is not intended to be a comprehensive list. These are resources Interact knows and endorses.