Guide to Getting Married

LET'S GET MARRIED ISSUE 2 | SEPTEMBER 202

A GUIDE TO PREPARING FOR MARRIAGE

"Though one may be overpowered,two can defend themselves.A cord of three strands is not quickly broken" Ecc 4:12 NIV

FROM US It is an honour and privilege that we are invited to join you in celebrating such a beautiful and important day in your lives.

Your wedding day will be a day that will be long awaited for, so enjoy it with your loved ones.

With all things that are planned for, we take this opportunity to do the best we can to help you prepare for your wedding day and for what comes after the celebrations - your marriage.

Here is a guide to help you take this next step. Our prayer is that your steps are guided by God and allow Him to be the foundation for your marriage.

We pray this journey will be met with peace and understanding.

With love and prayers

Daniel Ivy Daniel & Ivy Vena Lead Pastors

THREE STRANDS / NOV 2020

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TIMELINE 12

SECURE VENUES Get in touch with your venue +

officiant. Check they are available for your day.

6 5

3

FIRST SIT DOWN Let's talk about the day MARRIAGE PREP

We offer marriage preparation sessions to help you both consider, discuss and prepare for conversations/decisions you'll make during marriage.

APPLY FOR LICENCE + CERTIFICATE A licence confirms it's legal for you to marry. You have up to 3 working days prior to your day to apply. You can apply for your certificate at the same time.

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LEADING UP TO YOUR DAY

Here's a rough timeline to help you prepare for your wedding day. Starting at 12 months out, 6 months out, right down to the rehearsal at 7 days out.

This isn't a fixed timeline, so do what works with other tasks you have set for your day.

FINALISE DETAILS You can check in with us that all is

finalised for your day ie setting up for ceremony + packed down etc if you have booked our church as your venue.

7

REHEARSAL Let's do a walk through of what will happen on the day.

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AFTER "I DO"

As your celebrant, we are responsible for sending the signed registration papers to the Births, Deaths and Marriages to register your marriage.

LET'S GET STARTED

Because this is such a major step you are both taking, it's important that you are both on the same page as you continue with planning for your special day as well as planning into your marriage.

We've put this guide together to help you with understanding what you need to do to legalise your marriage and to prepare for all that marriage will bring.

LET'S GET LEGAL If you haven't already looked into this, the next few pages will talk through the legal documents you need to apply for.

Read through the following pages carefully, and make sure you understand what you need to do.

PRE-MARRIAGE SESSIONS We provide sessions for couples who would like some help in preparing for marriage.

These sessions are designed to help you both to have open and honest conversations about marriage and consider some ways you can work through some (if any) differences you may have.

QUALITY TIME We encourage you to take some time out; go on a date and don't talk about your wedding. For some couples planning their wedding can consume every conversation and can be exhausting. It's okay to have a break. Spend time together, with your family and with loved ones. Allow these months, days leading up to your wedding day, be enjoyable for yourselves and others.

LET'S GET LEGAL

To legalise your marriage, you will need the following documents: Marriage Licence Marriage Certificate Copy of Particulars

Marriage Licence

The easiest and simplest way to obtain a marriage licence is for the one of the parties to apply online at https://marriages.services.govt.nz.

Alternatively, a hard copy form may be used: If the declaration is to be signed in New Zealand one of the couple must appear in person before a Registrar of Marriages and Civil Unions to sign a statutory declaration that both people are free to marry or enter into a civil union and that all the details supplied are correct.

The Registrar will issue the Marriage Licence no sooner than the third working day after receiving notice of the intended marriage. A licence is valid for three months from the date of issue. A marriage licence cannot be extended past the 3-month validity. If the couple cannot marry within the 3 months, they will need to apply for a new licence and pay the fee. A ceremony cannot proceed until an approved celebrant has been given the Marriage Licence.

ALSO...

Marriage Certificate

A marriage certificate can be ordered online at the same time as when applying for a marriage licence at https://marriages.services.govt.nz and it will be posted to the orderer after the marriage is registered. Alternatively, after a marriage is registered, a certificate may be ordered online at https://certificates.services.govt.nz/.

Copy of Particulars

When the marriage licence is issued by a Registrar (by email, courier or in person), also included will be two copies of a ‘Copy of Particulars of Marriage’. The celebrant needs to be given all these documents before the ceremony.

Immediately after the solemnisation, both copies of the Copy of Particulars must be fully completed and signed by the couple, the celebrant and the two witnesses.

WHAT WE WILL DO

After the Ceremony

After the ceremony the celebrant gives the couple one Copy of Particulars and returns the other, ASAP within 10 calendar days, to Births,Deaths and Marriages.

The celebrant will scan or take a photo of the Copy of Particulars and email it to bdmtoregister@dia.govt.nz The preference is to send it by email, but if the Registrar’s copy cannot be emailed, it may be posted to: Freepost 254029 Births, Deaths and Marriages PO Box 10526, Wellington 6143.

The celebrant should email or post the particulars – not do both.

The celebrant should retain the Registrar’s physical copy of the Copy of Particulars for 4 weeks in case BDM ask for it to be resent.

After 4 weeks the Particulars must be securely destroyed (tear up or shred) and delete the email sent to BDM.

PRE-MARRIAGE SESSIONS Marriage is a life long commitment; a commitment to live a long life together

In our excitement of planning for your special day, we can forget to think about what happens after all the celebrations have ended. For some, it might be going back to normal, for others it might be a scary feeling to no longer be with our parents and siblings and to now be living with our new spouse.

Our intention with offering marriage preparation sessions is to help you prepare for what will come after the wedding; the settling into your new life together as husband and wife. Think of these sessions as a life-time investment into understanding each other better, communicating more clearly and look forward to creating a new way forward, into your future as a new family.

These sessions are for anyone wanting to take this new step in their relationship.

Whether you've been together for 1 year or 50 years; there is always something new we can learn about each other.

Let us know that you are interested, and let's set some time to talk.

QUALITY TIME

Now, forget about the wedding

It can be overwhelming at times as you plan for your day. Understandably, as you make this life-long commitment to each other. We believe this will be a great start to a beautiful life together.

Our encouragement for you both, is to take some time out every now and then.

Spend time together and with loved ones.

Give yourselves permission to not talk about the wedding. Trust that you are doing your best in planning an amazing day. Trust others that are around you to pull through for you both.

When you make time for each other and loved ones leading up to your day, you will find it easier to enjoy your day and not worry about every detail.

So go out, have lunch. Or stay in and do nothing. The condition is - no wedding talk :) It will be hard to find time and to be present, but it will be worth it.

LET'S GET MARRIED YOUR GUIDE TO PREPARING FOR MARRIAGE

If you have any questions or you need help with anything else to prepare for your day please get in touch with us: 021 0901 0599 tch.church@gmail.com The Carpenter's House 17 George St Stokes Valley, Lower Hutt 5019