Authenticity & Self-Love: Your Quiet Legacy

By Melinda Price, Trauma-Informed Friendship Coach, Founder of The Friendship Revolution

We rarely use the word “legacy” anymore Perhaps the word legacy conjures up mental images of public greatness, wealth, or civilians rushing into burning buildings to save the lives of dogs and children. The word legacy is a bit dusty and perhaps it’s because we’ve felt such tremendous disappointment in those we’ve respected—politicians, religious leaders, corporate geniuses, and local leaders. We find it harder to trust the stories of others because we’ve witnessed or experienced moments where public recognition was given out knowing that the story behind closed doors was entirely different.

It doesn't take courage to receive a few pats on the back. It does, however, take courage to look ourselves in the mirror with compassion and own our stories: our strengths and weaknesses, our brilliance and our brokenness, our woundedness and capacity to wound others, and our astonishing clarity in some situations as well as our gaping blind spots in others. Continuously pursuing this level of honesty with ourselves is what living authentically is all about. No facades. No alter egos. No puffery.

When we become more comfortable with our stories, we are able to courageously and compassionately embrace the stories of others. The pain and joys and highs and lows of others aren’t as daunting when we've reconciled with our own. Much of this work begins by reprioritizing our time, energy and resources based on our unique personalities, skills, and passions in addition to our values, beliefs, and standards, even if unpopular or contrary to current culture, because here's the deal with culture— it changes. Norms change. Vocabulary changes. Fashion changes. When we stand up or stand out in any way, we'll always have fans just as we'll always have foes. It's just reality. We discover tremendous freedom when we realize we can't do anything to change this reality. Why spend time and energy worrying about it?

"When we become more comfortable with our stories, we are able to courageously and compassionately embrace the stories of others."

What we can change is how we engage within our relationships. The purest form of legacy is born behind closed doors every time we engage our family's hearts, minds, and imaginations with our love, forgiveness, strength, faith, and a sense of adventure. This is where our integrity displays itself. Do we practice what we preach? Do we expect other people to rescue us from our messes or do we accept responsibility, make amends, and learn from our mistakes and mishaps? Are we loving our people the way we want to be loved or do we “love” based on expectations and what we hope to receive?

We make a genuine impact on others when we courageously and lavishly love because of who we are, not because of who the other person is or is not. It takes courage to live with the reality that we will never be perfect, nor will the people around us. Our incompleteness is exactly why we need each other. Our strengths are meant to complement, not compete with the strengths of others.

We can and will see our home, friendships, and communities shift for the better when we live courageously and wisely, practice integrity, and embrace the complete story, personality, and beautiful soul of the person staring back at us in the mirror.

This feature appears in our Lifestyle section which is generously sponsored by Mirage Pool n Spa.