DRIVING THE CONVERSATION

“Excuse me, Grandpa,” said Sam, my 19-year-old grandson, as we were having a cup of tea at his parent’s house.

“Yes, Sam,” I replied. “What can I do for you?”

“It’s more about what I can do for you, Grandpa,” replied Sam. “We’ve been doing assertive training in the Business Studies course I’ve been doing at university, and we’ve learned that if a difficult conversation is necessary then we should have sufficient integrity to undertake it.”

“Well, good for you, Sam,” I replied. “I’ve always believed it’s important to speak your mind if the situation warrants it.”

Sam looked away for a moment as he tried to gather his thoughts. “It’s just that I read something recently,” he suddenly declared, “and it got me thinking about you.”

“That’s nice,” I replied. “I suppose I should be flattered.”

“This is serious, Grandpa,” chided Sam.

“I’m sorry, Sam. What was it that you read?”

“Well, you know how you turned seventy recently.”

“Yes,” I replied. “My memory still serves me well about that event. We had a great party.”

Sam nodded. “It’s just that the article I was reading said that by the time you turn seventy, a lot of your faculties such as your eyesight and hearing will have diminished significantly and your reaction times will have slowed down greatly. The article suggested that people over seventy should have their licences revoked in order to make the roads safer for everyone.”

“I see,” I replied slowly. “So, you’re saying I shouldn’t be allowed to drive anymore.”

“It’s not me saying it, Grandpa,” replied Sam a touch defensively. “It was the professor who wrote the article. I’m just having the difficult conversation with you.”

“And I do appreciate that, Sam. It can’t have been easy for you to bring the subject up.”

Sam shrugged. “There’s no point learning about something if you don’t have the courage to implement it.”

“Quite right, Sam,” I replied. “You’ve brought up a very interesting point so here is what I’ll do for you. I will play you at table tennis and at chess which will test both my physical and mental abilities. With your young reflexes and mental acuity pitted against my general decrepitude, according to your professor, it should be a doddle for you. If you beat me at both, then I will gladly hand in my licence. Is that fair?”

Sam studied me for a moment, looking for a trap, then not having found one, smiled. “That sounds fair to me Grandpa.”

“Very good,” I replied. “However, to make it truly fair, if I beat you at both then you will hand in your licence and you will never drive again.” I held out my hand. “Is that a deal?”

Sam looked slightly shocked. “Wait a minute, Grandpa, this is about you not driving anymore. It’s not about me. I need my licence to get to university, and what happens when I get a job and eventually have a family? I can’t agree to that.”

“But I’m seventy,” I reminded him. “According to your professor, I’ve become decrepit. Beating me at table tennis and chess should be a walk in the park for someone as young as you. This is your chance to get me off the road.”

Sam shook his head. “I know you’re still pretty good at table tennis, even at your age, because you’ve got all those weird spins and such, and I don’t think anybody has beaten you at chess for years. I can’t take the risk of losing.”

I shrugged nonchalantly. “According to your article, because I’ve turned seventy, I’m now a danger on the road, both to myself and to other road users. Surely anybody I can beat at table tennis and chess is even less fit to be on the road.”

“Well, perhaps you’re the exception to the rule,” conceded Sam, “but I still think the article has merit.”

“Of course it has merit,” I agreed, “but you can’t make a blanket rule based upon an arbitrary chronological point in time that some professor has plucked out of thin air. Why not 71 years or 69 years? Anyway, it’s not us older drivers that are the danger on the roads. Your grandmother and I were driving down to Lorne last week and most of the older drivers on the road were either sitting in the left-hand lane driving along at a sensible 95kph or keeping up with the traffic in the other lanes sitting on 100kph. They weren’t the ones cutting in and out of the traffic and aggressively tailgating the other drivers. Do you know who these drivers were?”

“I suppose you’re going to say they were P-plate drivers,” replied Sam with a touch of annoyance.

“They certainly were, Sam. So, it seems to me that perhaps we should raise the driving age to twenty-one in order to give these idiots a chance to mature. If you want to save lives then I think this should be the way to go.”

“You can’t judge all young drivers because of the actions of a few idiots,” said Sam.

“Hmm, I’m not so sure,” I replied. “I wonder how many older drivers get pulled over for texting while they’re driving or talking on their phones?”

“Now you’re not being fair at all,” complained Sam.

“Of course I’m not being fair,” I replied, “just as it’s not fair to make a mandatory rule about people just because they’ve turned seventy. Each case should be taken on its merits. Just because we’re old doesn’t mean we’re stupid. We leave that to the young folk.”

“Hey!” exclaimed Sam.

“I’m just kidding,” I replied. “We’re smart enough to know that if we’re on medication that affects our driving then we stay off the road and get somebody else to drive us. If we’re incapable of making that decision then it’s up to our family and friends, or our doctor to intervene, just like you have today, if you truly believe that someone has become a danger on the road, but you can’t do it based simply on someone’s age. There has to be a medical or intellectual reason. Our independence is very important to us, particularly out in the country where there is no public transport. If you take away my car then you take away my ability to play sport, to socialise, to go shopping, to visit my family, to go to sporting events, to the cinema or even to go the doctor or chemist. It would be a short cut to an early grave for most of us.”

“No-one is saying that Grandpa,” replied Sam defensively.

“No, Sam, that is exactly what you are saying,” I replied. “Starting a conversation is easy. The difficult part is resolving the issues that are raised by that conversation.”

- John Kriesfeld

WITH KERRY…

The Tilt

By Chris Hammer

Newly-minted homicide detective Nell Buchanan returns to her home town, annoyed at being assigned a decades-old murder – a ‘file and forget’.

But this is no ordinary cold case, as the discovery of more bodies triggers a chain of escalating events in the present day. As Nell starts to join the pieces together, when begins to question how well she truly knows those closest to her.

The nearer Nell comes to uncovering the secrets of the past, the more dangerous the present becomes for her.

Having read all of Chris Hammer’s previous books I was really looking forward to his latest. Unfortunately, I didn’t quite enjoy it as much as the others.

It is set in and around the Barmah forest which brought it closer to home but I got bogged down with the amount of characters and plots. You may feel differently when you read it.

- Kerry Gardner

See page 23 for answers a. 45 b. 90 c. 180 d. 360 a. Shoulder blades b. Foot c. Knee d. Elbow a. Madrid b. Barcelona c. Prague d. Lisbon a. On the first Sunday after the full moon b. Two weeks after Palm Sunday c. Three days after Passover d. The last Sunday of the school holidays a. Venus b. Mercury c. Mars d. The Moon a. The Boogie-woogie b. The Hornpipe c. The Charleston d. The Flamenco a. Sardinia b. Malta c. Sicily d. Corsica a. Wentworth Way b. Sturt-Wylie Marker c. Black-Allan Line d. Ludwig Leichardt Line a. Enid Blyton b. C.S. Lewis c. Ruth Park d. Roald Dahl a. Three b. Four c. Five d. Six

1. How many degrees in a circle?

2. Where in your body is the patella?

3.What is the capital city of Portugal?

4. When is Easter celebrated each year?

5. Which is the closest planet to the Earth?

6. What is the sailor’s dance known as?

7. Where was Napoleon born?

8. What is the name of the straight edge of the border between NSW and Victoria?

9. Who created the imaginary land of Narnia?

10. How many valves does a trumpet have?

HOLIDAY WORD SEARCH

Find and circle all of the hidden words about the holiday season The left over letters reveal a secret message

Heritage Open Days

Greater Shepparton City Council Heritage Open Days will be held on Friday, May 12 and Saturday, May 13.

There will be many heritage buildings and precincts open for your inspection and there will also be ten free bus tours held throughout the City of Greater Shepparton area.

Guided walking tours will also be held in five municipal areas.

Illustrated brochures will be available at the libraries and museums to give you further information.

All of this will be free, but booking is essential. Telephone 58 329730 to make your booking or to find out further information.

- George Ferguson, Tatura Museum