Chakka Gay Abnormal Transgender Eunuch Aunty Girly Nachaniya

I remember an incident when I was 10 years old. I was dancing at my aunt's house and suddenly my grandmother came in and saw me dancing. She got so furious at me, held me tight and said - have you ever seen a prostitute dance? Who does that, who says that to a 10 year old? The moment i heared those words, i felt guilty, i felt humiliated as if i had committed a crime. Eventually my parents came to know and since then I have been beaten up by my father throughout my childhood, to the point where once my ankle got fractured. As a Muslim boy, I was completely forbidden from dancing or being myself at all. I was asked not to entertain people because that's not what my community has allowed us to follow.

Rather i should force masculine attribiutes in my personality, pretend to be rough and tough, have boyish habbits and dreams.

For a major part of my childhood I felt like a boy without spine, no confdence, unsure, isolated and unrealetd to the rest. I was burdened with societal, parental pressure- the shame I brought to my family put me through a ray of guilt. I was being compared with my siblings, reminding me how they are far better for being a robot to my parents orders. i was innocently being feared through my religious customs- It is haram for men to dance which will be punished by you going to hell.

Howsoever, at the age of 18, I couldn’t give up on my dream of becoming a dancer. No matter how much i tried to make my parents proud they never would until i live up to their dreams and desires, which meant to foreve be as a living dead. This is when I decided to leave my house. It was the best decision of my life as since I became more confdent in my being, accepted my self and fought for my rights as a dance enthusiast. Soon I found my passion for belly dancing. Belly dancing is actually said to be a Homemade dance, as women used to belly dance to celebrate their body and beauty in an enclosed space.

Although interestingly, Belly dance form was actually inspired by the dance of the Rajasthani Kalbelia tribes. Earlier when the silk route allowed foreigner traders to trade through India, they passed through the Kalbelia Tribal areas. The traders enjoyed their Hip movements along with slight Belly dance to such an extent that eventually lead to the start of belly dancing in the west. Which is why i enjoy Belly dancing since it initially taught me to be more confdent, self- accepting and then the skills to a wonderful graceful dance. Even though i still confront many professional and cross dressing stereotypes, I have mastered how to flter the hate-speech and remember the rest.

The 25-year-old from India broke all the clichés and proved to the world that “dance is art and art is genderless. Cross-dressing has been around for centuries, so why stereotype someone who came out of a closet? From being labeled a prostitute, transgender and eunuch to being recognized as one of India’s frst male belly dancers, Eshan Hilal has come a long way.