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Tallahassee Woman August/September 2020

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LEADING FROM BEHIND

UNDERSTATED POWER & INFLUENCE

KEEP GROOVIN KEEP GROOVIN

KEEP MOVIN

with single day joint replacement surgery at the most advanced hospital.

Tallahassee Memorial HealthCare is home to the region’s most advanced orthopedic program offering comprehensive care plans for total joint replacement surgery patients. Our expert surgeons perform over 1,000 total joint replacements and repairs each year, and with our orthopedic nurse navigator by your side every step of the way, you won't miss a beat.

Bust a move and request your free, customized information booklet at TMH.ORG/GetMovin.

Capital City Trust Company welcomes Nan O’Kelley to our team serving

Nan O’Kelley, our newest Wealth Advisor serving Tallahassee, specializes in handling the complex trust and investment decisions of high-net-worth individuals. She guides clients through a personalized, tailored approach to wealth management that addresses your unique needs and goals. Contact Nan today to schedule your financial review.

Fashion: Adding plaid and patterns to your wardrobe

Inspiration: Inspiring Quote

Books: Motivational Reads

Bridal: Wedding Planning: Autumn Alchemy

WE Elevate: Rising to the Challenge During the COVID-19 Pandemic

Sweet Home Tallahassee: Jacqueline LaBayne, Myryame

V. Desrosiers, Zoë Baker

Haute Happenings: Events in Tallahassee

The Dish: Tasty Key Lime Pie Recipe 26

Madam Xhales at Home at Experimental Spa

Business: Toddlers at Work Women to Watch: News, Awards and Milestones

Matters: Anxiety in 2020 Mental Health: DIVORCE TOOLBOX: Parental Alliance or Alienation? Healthy Living: Healthy Smoothies at Home

photography: Steven Saccio
makeup: Lisa Davis
“ We are so grateful for your support. Knowing that you’re there for us, does make a difference.”

Elizabeth Bailey Gruver never expected to face a pandemic in her first year as a nurse. She works 12-hours in full protective equipment, caring for patients with COVID19. When her shift is over, her scrubs are soaked with sweat – like she just stepped out of the shower. Still, she loves her job.

Your giving through the TMH Foundation is encouraging and supporting healthcare heroes like Bailey as they provide the best possible care to patients. From Bailey, and all of us, THANK YOU.

Give today: TMH.ORG/Giving

WOMAN

August/September 2020 • Volume 15 • Issue 4

PUBLISHER

Dr. Michelle Mitcham

EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT Punam Bhakta

EDITORIAL ASSISTANT Tavia Rahki

PUBLISHING CONSULTANT Kim Rosier

CREATIVE DIRECTOR Olivia Heyward

INTERNS

Madeline Brik Kathryn Hastings

CREATIVE CONSULTANT Briana Smith

DIRECTOR OF PUBLIC RELATIONS Marcia Warfel

DIRECTOR OF LEADERSHIP INITIATIVES Paula DeBoles-Johnson

COMMUNITY ENGAGEMENT LIAISON Renée Jean-Charles

DIRECTOR OF LUXURY TRAVEL Regina Lynch Hudson

ADVERTISING

For information on advertising, visit talwoman.com, call (850) 893-9624, or e-mail ads@TalWoman.com.

TALLAHASSEE WOMAN is a publication of Mitcham Media Group LLC Post Office Box 16616 | Tallahassee, FL 32317-3401

Phone (850) 893-9624 | Fax (850) 254 -7038 | info@TalWoman.com

Tallahassee Woman is published six times per year and is distributed on a complimentary basis throughout Tallahassee and the surrounding communities.

Enjoy active senior living with a variety of a ordable apartments and single-family homes, plus the security of additional support like assisted living and nursing care, all on one campus. For more information call (850) 878-1136.

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TUESDAYS ON

Join us on our FB page to hear interviews from women in our community and from women featured in  TWM magazine.

CONTRIBUTORS Contributors

DR. JESSICA CAMPBELL WRITER

ERIN

STEVEN SACCIO PHOTOGRAPHER

Steven Saccio is a commercial, fine art and portrait photographer. He recently returned to freelance photography in Tallahassee after serving as the Governor of Florida’s personal photographer. Steve also enjoys giving back to his photographic community by serving on the board of directors for Florida Professional Photographers.

DR. ASHA BREWER WRITER

Dr. Asha Brewer is a self-care specialist for the busy and overwhelmed. The Temple Fit Co. team brings chiropractic, fitness, and health education directly to you. Learn more www. templefit.co/take-care.

JENNIFER YOUNG WRITER

Jennifer Young is the owner of TC Bakery featuring Ma Mary’s Restaurant, where she continues her parents’ legacy of entrepreneurship.

BALLAS WRITER

Erin Ballas is an associate at Public Affairs Consultants, where she has been a valued employee for thirteen years. She earned both her B.S. in Political Science and M.S. in Applied American Politics and Policies from Florida State University. She and her husband, James, are the parents of two adorable toddlers.

LISA DAVIS WRITER

Lisa Davis is a wife, mommy of four, beauty blogger, Freelance Makeup Artist, and Owner of Image by Lisa. God made her girly and she loves sharing her tips and tricks with other women so that they can look and feel their absolute best. For more information about Lisa visit imagebylisa.com.

TAVIA RAHKI WRITER

Dr. Jessica Campbell is a dual certified Family Practice Nurse Practitioner and Psychiatric Mental Health Practitioner. She received her doctoral degree from Vanderbilt University in 2019 and is currently working as a psychiatric nurse practitioner on the Crisis Stabilization Unit.

PAULA DEBOLESJOHNSON WRITER

Paula DeBoles-Johnson, MPA, CCM is employed with Leon County government, where she is responsible for fueling the engagement and professional development of employees. She is Founder and Executive Director of Capital City Youth Development Corporation, a local nonprofit.

Tavia Rahki is passionate about cultivating wellness through sustainable and healthful living. Tavia earned her B.S. in exercise science from FSU and her M.S. in neuroscience from USF. She is studying chiropractic medicine and works as a yoga and meditation teacher.

REGINA LYNCHHUDSON WRITER

Veteran publicist and luxury lifestyle experience-aholic, Regina Lynch-Hudson, pens MadameXhales, slated towards the vintage of woman that enjoys more time to travel. The exacting taste of MadameXhales finds her exploring destinations, cruises, resorts, spas and extracurricular activities.

PUBLISHER From the

CHOOSING THE POSITIVE PERSPECTIVE

“Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny.
~MAHATMA

When facing all the challenges in the world today, it may not be easy to remain positive. With this said, it is important to be aware of the power of our mindset. It shapes how we perceive any event, informs our power to choose, and influences the way we chart a new course and even re-tool. Embracing the power to choose helps us to shift our attention, attitude and energy so that we are more solution-focused and intentional.

I am inspired by the interview with the August/September cover woman, Sue Dick, who shared how maintaining a positive mindset helped her through her journey of opportunities and challenges. True leadership calls for demonstrating resilience and maintaining one’s equanimity throughout challenges – the calm during the storm. Our guest editor, Beth Corum, a resilient and incredible leader herself, did an outstanding job capturing Sue’s story of charting a course and choosing positive values, despite a few bumps in the road. I know her story will uplift and inspire you as well!

Tallahassee is such a unique place with so many diverse women who improve our community by living out their American dream and

sharing their positive values. In this issue, don’t miss the Women to Watch who are recognized for making a difference. I was touched by a reflection from mission leader Dr. Asha Brewer, who was nearly stranded in Peru. Her story of faith and safe journey back to America is powerful. We also celebrate the young women recognized by the Southern Scholarship Foundation who are destined to greatness.

I hope you are encouraged by all of these women whose positive mindsets and contributions are making our community so special. Tallahassee Woman uplifts and inspires women to live their best lives and to be the best version of themselves. Together, we can continue to choose positive values, celebrate our successes and maintain a positive perspective, despite the challenges. We are all in this together.

Optimistically yours,

Registration: $20 For more info and registration: www.Fitfunctional.com/WPH

Masksandsocialdistancingrequired.

EDITOR guest

In 2016, I sat in Sue Dick’s office at 300 East Park Avenue to make it known I was interested in serving our community as the chairman of the Greater Tallahassee Chamber of Commerce. If you don’t know Sue, you might believe she is standoffish. This was certainly my impression. Reality is very different. Sue Dick is one of the most sincere and caring individuals I have worked with. I’m not sure I’ve ever left a conversation with her where she didn’t close with “you good?” Watching Sue work is inspiring.

As I was writing this article, I needed to reach Sue to set a time to talk. Daily interaction with her is not unusual – as Chairman of the Chamber, you spend a lot of time with Sue. This week was a little different as she was at the beach with her husband Bobby for a well-deserved break after an extraordinarily difficult spring and early summer. But Sue never really takes a break. She responded to my text, from a paddleboard, in less than ten minutes. This is quintessential Sue – putting needs of others before herself.

GUEST EDITOR

Beth Corum

I’m not sure I’ve ever left a conversation with her where she didn’t close with “you good?”

Beth Corum a lucky wife to Chris, groovy mom to Stella, quasibanker, community volunteer, college football fanatic, daughter, sister, and aunt, life is precariously balanced for Beth Corum.

Beth currently serves as Chief Operating Officer of Capital City Bank. She is Chairman of the Greater Tallahassee Chamber of Commerce; a member of the United Way of the Big Bend’s executive committee and board; board member of the Children’s Home Society of North Florida and trustee for the Florida Bankers Educational Foundation. Beth is a graduate of Leadership Tallahassee Class XXVI and Leadership Florida Class XXXI.

She was recently honored with the Julian V. Smith Community Service Award from Capital City Bank Group and was selected as 2019 R.E.D. Woman of the Year by Tallahassee Woman magazine.

What I have learned about Sue:

She is always pursuing an agenda that is 100% what’s best for Tallahassee and Leon County with little to no regard for the recognition she receives as our community’s number one business advocate.

She listens intently, piecing together the puzzle and creating strategies to ensure positive, sustainable change.

Her moral and ethical compass is strong.

She’s a funny, loyal and fierce wife, mom and friend.

I couldn’t create a better #GirlBoss.

Beth Corum

Photo by Jennifer Powell

ADD POPS OF PLAID AND PATTERNS TO YOUR FALL Wardrobe TRENDS Trends

y now we all have settled into a quarantine fashion routine where comfort clothing has replaced suited and tight-fitted outfits. With the temperature dropping and the fall season upon us, we can liven up those warm, cozy outfits with pops of plaid and patterns. Plaid pants, t-shirts, headbands, socks, even face masks are fun alternatives to traditional flannel. Paired with blue denim or black, plaid can truly hone in the fall spirit. Pull on a pair of plaid socks, and your outfit has more personality. Incorporating new patterns or accessories in your day-to-day outfits can be exciting and rewarding. Add some plaid this season.

“ With each generation, women’s ability to live the lives they choose reaches a place their grandmothers never thought possible.
But that doesn’t mean everything is perfect or that our work is finished.”
– Cathy McMorris Rodgers

LOCAL MEETS GLOBAL

Inspiring Reads

You may not be able to travel this fall because of the pandemic, but who says you can’t go on adventures. With so many people working, schooling or just staying at home more, now is the perfect time to curl up with a good book and go anywhere you want to. With a cup of your favorite soothing beverage, a good book can help you escape, open your mind to new ideas, or maybe even teach you how to better yourself.

GIRL, STOP APOLOGIZING

After her wildly successful book Girl, Wash Your Face, Rachel Hollis returned to the bookshelf to tell women that they don’t need to hold onto excuses or keep holding themselves back. It’s important to have courage and develop habits and behaviors that will gear you towards success. The book is divided into three parts: the nine most common excuses, the seven most useful behaviors,and six essential skills to learn and develop.

THE UP SIDE OF DOWN WHY FAILING WELL IS THE KEY TO SUCCESS

This book helps prepare you for one of life’s inevitabilities: failure. Everyone fails at some point in life. Some people can be crushed by failure, while some rise up and try again. What does “failing well” even mean? Well it means learning from the mistakes that are made so they do not get repeated. It's also learning how to move on from situations by not feeling so stuck and burdened by everything going on.

by

AUTUMN ALCHEMY

WEDDING PLANNING:

Decisions turn dreams into reality. Making decisions for a day as unforgettable as a wedding can be overwhelming. I remind myself to stay calm and think positively. Whatever happens, the true gift of it all is that you get to marry your person! This event is a symbol of unity and the small details will fade away in the grand scheme of life. The theme of ‘Autumn Alchemy’ prioritizes feelings and energy. Intention can shine beyond extravagance and there is beauty in simplicity. Start planning early and check-in on those plans often. For our wedding, we reached out to local Tallahassee businesses and creative partners who appreciate the enchanting charm of this city.

VENUE VIBES

An outdoor wedding was a must

Intimate Insights

for us. Online research was useful, but physically going to potential venues gave us a chance to really feel out the vibe. When we visited Old Willis Dairy, I knew the moment I laid eyes and set foot on this quaint picturesque place, it would be just darling. The owners, Peper and Frank, gladly took time to share the history of the property and provided the details needed for us to see our vision come alive. Their love of the space made it even more appealing and sentimental. I am so excited that they are allowing our fur babies to be a part of the day. Both our ceremony and reception will be at Old Willis Dairy, utilizing the indoor and outdoor space, the carriage house and firepit. Deciding on a wedding venue early was a cornerstone in setting the foundation for the rest of the wedding plans.

DIVING INTO DETAILS

Organizing wedding details is no small task. After reviewing several sites, I decided on Zola’s wedding website. The site and phone application keep a digital organization of your wedding details; a page for guests to RSVP, view schedule and other important information regarding wedding location, nearby hotels and more. One of my favorite features is the guest section to input addresses and design invitations with personalized printed envelopes. I also have a wedding planning notebook and several wedding magazines for inspiration and reference. To help organize the details of the wedding as the date nears, Christie of Wildflower Event Designs will be coordinating our wedding a month prior.

Reach out to different planners about

Photo
Whigham Images

what they offer and try to at least get a day-of planner to ensure things run smoothly. Wedding planners talk to vendors, confirm exchanges and serve as an extension of communication on your behalf. This is vital as communicate is key.

THE DRESS

Don’t settle on a dress you don’t absolutely love or feel comfortable in. I went to about five other bridal stores before I found the right dress at Vocelle’s Bridal Shoppe. Vocelle’s is nothing short of a dream! The warm and welcoming staff are kind and caring, focusing on you as a unique individual. Kristen, the owner, is truly a gem. Her elegant space showcases gorgeous dresses at affordable prices. We celebrated with champagne and took pictures, having time to revel in the moment without feeling rushed. It was good fun and a great time that I will always remember. I tried on some fabulous gowns with ornate lace and trendy beading. While I felt beautiful in all of them, I went with simpler, more classic gown. One of my favorite things about my dress is that it has pockets!

BOLD BRIDESMAIDS

Listen to your friends’ opinions but always trust your gut. I decided to have my bridesmaids wear different colors within our color palette, emphasizing specific textures like velvet and satin. These textures remind me of fall, the transition into winter and the warm cozy feeling of season’s greetings. This also gives the bridesmaids freedom to choose a dress that complements their personality. This contributes to the overall energy of the celebration. They will also be choosing their own hairstyles, but there are a couple of basics we will keep uniform, like nail and shoe color. Ultimately, I want my bridesmaids to feel at home in their skin and have their differences tastefully distinguished. After all, each of these wonderful women are a

part of who I am today.

GOING GLAM

Choose makeup that you feel beautiful in, whether it’s more natural or full on glam. Make sure it’s fitting to you and not someone else’s concept of beauty. When deciding on makeup and hair, have examples ready to share. Make several appointments with various stylists, taking videos and pictures in lighting congruent with your wedding day, both indoor and outdoor. Take time to compare these photos and videos before signing contracts. Also, practice doing your own makeup and hair to prepare for any styling hiccups. I don’t usually wear makeup, so for my wedding I want to go with a balance between natural and full glam.

Photo by Whigham Images

FOOD FUN

Every detail is an opportunity to be creative. Our wedding will have food trucks instead of traditional plated meals. We are excited to do something fun and different, creating an eclectic experience for our guests to move and mingle in a natural flow. Paula, owner of Lucy & Leo’s, was so lovely at our cake tasting and shared her passion for baking. I appreciate her consideration for food allergies/ sensitivities. We will be having the Lucy and Leo’s cupcake camper serving flavorful mini-cupcakes, with gluten free and vegan options. We are also considering having a food truck from a different vendor, serving options that highlight our diverse multi-cultural origins. The rehearsal dinner will take place at Airbnb rental house for the bridal party. We will have a catered spread at the house for a chill, casual dinner where everyone can relax and chat in an intimate setting.

PICTURE PERFECT

What makes a photo perfect isn’t always the subject matter, but the energy of the moment. Pick a photographer that you feel comfortable around and can let loose and be yourself. Bri of Whigham Images has a such a pleasant disposition and made us both feel calm during our engagement shoot. We were laughing almost the entire time and she made sure to give us options and ask questions about the kind of photos we wanted. We are so glad to have her as our wedding photographer and it was nice to get to know here before the actual event. As a fun flair, we will also have a photo booth by Smile in Style Events to get candid shots of our guests. Photographer, Kemuel, of Jibarito’s Photography will be capturing our rehearsal dinner and photos of the groom getting ready with his

groomsmen before the ceremony.

DESIGNING YOUR DAY

Be open minded and flexible when sharing your wedding vision. Collaborating on artistic concepts can design something even better than you could have imagined. I spent over a year building and modifying a Pinterest wedding board and shared that with both John Gandy Events and Missy Gunnels Flowers, our event planner and florist. John Gandy is so sweet, and we had a blast exploring “Gandyland,” his whimsical warehouse. Don’t hesitate to share specific touches. I communicated my floral ideas with Missy Gunnels, including dried florals, which she welcomed with creative perspective. The Pinterest board provided the mood and style we aim to express, serving as a cohesive projection of how we want our day to look and feel.

FOLLOW YOUR HEART

While planning this wedding, I have learned a lot about myself and how to engage with local businesses, voice my vision and listen to other ideas and suggestions. Tallahassee has so much to offer and I am pleased at how the elements are aligning. Although wedding planning seems tedious at times, it is worth every bit

of effort when I close my eyes and see our families together, celebrating our union in love and commitment. As this fantasy of 'Autumn Alchemy' comes to fruition, I am elated and deeply thankful for the people who are making this dream a reality. My Mother has always been a dreamer and a doer. Her ability to imagine and believe has been a powerful force in manifesting this magical moment to come.

Creative Partners: John Gandy Events | Old Willis Dairy | Missy Gunnels Flowers | Vocelles The Bridal Shoppe | Whigham Images | Wildflower Event Design | Royce Lovett | Smile in Style Events | Lucy & Leo’s Cupcakery| *and other creative partners

OLD WILLIS DAIRY

TOld Willis Dairy

o the casual visitor, the Old Willis Dairy is a walk back in time to a bygone era of quaint, simple living. But to Frank and Peper Willis, the Dairy is simply “home.” Frank Willis’ grandparents settled on the property in the 1930s, and his grandmother Emma Kate lived there for decades until age 102. The dairy was a premier business in the North Florida region, and it remained in operation as cornerstone of the area’s agricultural economy until the 1970s. Today, the historic dairy barn features renovations and additions that indicate an extraordinary commitment to family history, sustainable building, and historic preservation.

The Willises saved and reused all they could from “Nana’s house” and the old barn. During the renovation, original building materials were salvaged and utilized in the renovation as much as possible to retain the historic character of the property. Even the landscape features heirlooms and native species. Further enhancing the “green-ness” of the property’s restoration, the old house was upgraded with modern sustainable technologies. The Old Willis Dairy, a masterpiece of North Florida’s heritage, is truly a labor of love.

Venue Details

• Located just two miles from downtown hotels.

• Indoor/outdoor events.

• Historic award winning post and beam cypress barn.

• Deep porches, antique brick.

• Beautifully landscaped.

• Majestic oak trees.

• Spacious meadow.

• Swings on porches, rocking chairs.

• Southern Hospitality

• Tranquility of countryside.

• Weddings, Receptions, Rehearsal Dinners, Reunions, Birthday, Anniversary,

• Celebration of Life, Corporate, Think Outside the Box, Non-profit, Community.

LOCAL Living Local

LIVING

Discuss your role in Tallahassee’s fight with the COVID-19 pandemic?

Within the Leon County Health Department, my role is to lead the response to COVID-19. A division of the Florida Department of Health’s integrated public health system, our team is responsible for investigating cases, contact tracing, monitoring, testing, educating and working with multiple sectors to provide information and technical assistance. We are laser-focused on protecting the most vulnerable members of our community, especially nursing home residents.

What advice do you give parents who may have fears about their children returning to school?

Parents should become familiar with their children’s school policy for preventing the transmission of COVID-19. I recommend parents also have a conversation with their children about the changes they can expect to happen at school.

Guidance for children needs to be age-appropriate and should focus on handwashing, social distancing and wearing and removing masks properly. Parents should also be prepared to keep their children home while they are sick according to the school’s policy.

Avoid a simultaneous infection with both COVID-19 and influenza by ensuring your child and family receives vaccines this year.

The Leon County Health Department employs school nurses who consult with

Meet Claudia Blackburn RN, MPH WE Elevate

Rising to the Challenge During the COVID-19 Pandemic

Claudia Blackburn, RN, MPH has been in public health for over 40 years and currently serves as the health officer for the Leon County Health Department.

parents and assist epidemiologists through contact tracing investigation should any cases occur at school.

What does science say about future pandemics and how we can guard against them?

Microbes are constantly evolving and sometimes pose a threat to public health. Public health can benefit from taking steps to promote wellness and resiliency among the population.

We plan for emerging threats, such as the novel coronavirus, through our public health emergency preparedness program. Regular drills and exercises are performed with our partners as part of our planning process and plans are routinely updated as new information becomes available.

Why has COVID-19 affected minority communities especially hard?

In Leon County, our Black community has had more cases than expected. This may be related to more exposure to the disease because of crowded living conditions and frontline jobs.

Minority communities often suffer from a lack of access to affordable healthcare, food insecurity, unstable housing conditions and other factors that contribute to stress and poor health. Underlying medical conditions such as obesity, hypertension, diabetes and heart disease disproportionately affect minority communities.

If a person with underlying medical conditions is infected with COVID-19, hospitalization or death is more likely to occur.

Is it safe to get back to gatherings with our friends and families?

People should follow the current guidelines from State Surgeon General, Dr. Scott Rivkees, as well as any local ordinances. If you are over 65 or in a high-risk category, limit interactions outside of the home, and take all measures to limit the risk of exposure.

What advice would you offer citizens at this time?

Keep taking precautions to prevent the transmission of COVID-19: wear your face mask in public, stay six feet away from other people, wash your hands frequently and stay home when you’re sick.

Stay alert to changing information from reputable sources, such as the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention or Florida Department of Health.

Any final thoughts?

We are truly all in this together, and we need everyone to stay educated and focused on taking the necessary precautions to prevent the spread of COVID-19. Continuing to practice self-care such as healthy eating, physical activity, mindfulness and connecting in a safe way with loved ones is critical during this period of change and uncertainty. Please stay safe and well.

Dr. Kerry McCord has practiced “the best of natural medicine” since 1973. He is a renowned clinician, author and educator, internationally known for his contributions to the practice of applied kinesiology.

He uniquely serves those whose life has been disrupted by persistent and seemingly unresolvable health challenges.

What Women Are Saying:

“After years of pain in my right arm, legs and back, I was resigned to the fact that I would have to live like this for the rest of my life. Every morning I awakened with varying degrees of discomfort, especially aggravated when I tried to walk.

Thank God, I was referred to Dr. McCord. He has a warm and comforting manner, is brilliant and engaging. None of his treatment involved medication or shots. Best of all, after my first visit, my once chronic pain was gone and has not returned.”

Mrs. Patricia Proctor, Tallahassee, FL Kerry McCord, DC, DIBAK

Whatever your problem may be… there is hope!

Sweet Home Tallahassee

Jacqueline

LaBayne is pursuing her Master of Science degree from the College of Criminology and Criminal Justice at FSU. She is currently interning in Washington D.C. with the U.S. Commission on Civil Rights. She has also interned with Rep. Shevrin Jones in the Florida House of Representatives and worked side-by-side with the Florida Student Association. At FSU, she was elected the Congress of Graduate Students Representative for the College of Criminology and Criminal Justice and went on to serve as Speaker for Communications and Interim Speaker. From Sacramento, California, Jacqueline plans to complete Harvard’s Public Policy Certification program this fall while applying to law schools around the country. Her goal is to become a human and civil rights attorney and to draft legislation protecting human, womenʼs and LGBTQIA civil rights and religious freedom in the United States.

Myryame V. Desrosiers

Jacqueline LaBayne

Myryame V. Desrosiers is a firstgeneration college student from Haiti. She graduated from FSU in May with a bachelors degree in biological sciences and a minor in anthropology. She aspires to be an obstetrician-gynecologist and work with nonprofit communities and programs that give individuals like her the opportunity and platform to succeed. She says, “I know that the path that I have chosen will be hard but my drive stems from the sacrifices that my family has made for me and for the people in my community who are counting on me.”

Zoë

Baker is a senior political science and pre-law minor at FAMU. The housing scholarship she received from the Southern Scholarship Foundation (SSF) made her transition from Hartford, Connecticut to Tallahassee possible. She serves her community through SSF and Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Inc. In her free time, she crafts and works out. Upon graduation she will pursue her master’s degree in psychology before attending law school and becoming a defense attorney.

Zoë Baker

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Living Local

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GADSDEN ARTS CENTER & MUSEUM GUIDED TOURS

August 1st 10:00am- 5:00pm 13 North Madison Street Quincy, Florida 32351

Gadsden Arts' trained docents use discussion-based touring to help visitors learn the history of the Gadsden Arts Center & Museum and gain insights into the varied exhibitions of fine art in the galleries, making every tour a unique experience. Their goal is to empower any viewer to interact with works of art!

Group Tours are customized for each group depending on the age, size, interests and time availability. Tours have no additional charge, and are included with the price of admission. However groups may apply for a waiver. For more information call: 850-6275023

CLUTTERERS ANONYMOUS

August 2nd 6:30-7:30pm (weekly on Sundays)

United Church in Tallahassee 1834 Mahan Drive Tallahassee FL Tallahassee, Florida 32301

Clutterers Anonymous is a 12-step group which can help you simplify your life and get rid of clutter that does not contribute to your best life. Come join the group and start finding the freedom you desire. Meetings are open to all, privacy for all attendees

Cost: Free - The only cost is to cover rental of the meeting space, given on a voluntary basis on the last meeting of the month.

LIVE MUSIC AND DANCING –TALLAHASSEE SWING BAND

August 4th 7:30pm – 10:00pm

American Legion

229 Lake Ella Drive

Tallahassee, Florida 32303

The Tallahassee Swing Band plays big band jazz and dance music from the ʼ30s to the ʼ90s every Tuesday night at the American legion Hall on Lake Ella. It is always open to the public and has the best dance floor in town. Free dance lessons start at 6:30pm.

Cost: $ 6.00

LOST MONDAYS IN TALLAHASSEE

August 3rd 8:00pm- 10:00pm (weekly on Mondays)

Blue Tavern 1206 N Monroe St Tallahassee, Florida 32303

Lost Mondays is a perfect way to ease a Monday night. It's not an open jam, but it is a constantly changing feast. Sometimes other musicians are invited to host the night or participate with the regular host, when the style fits. Lost Monday is about vintage blues played acoustically on real instruments and sung straight up and true.

Cost: $3 cover + tab one purchase minimum please 18+

INTRODUCTION TO BLACKSMITH

September 5th 9:15am-5:00pm

Tallahassee Museum

3945 Museum Drive

Tallahassee, FL

In this basic introduction to blacksmithing, participants will work alongside an experienced blacksmith to learn some history and basics of the craft. At the end of each session, everyone takes home their very own simple project along with the experience of working in an 1800s period blacksmith shop! Maximum 3 people per session. Member - $65 / Non-Member - $70 Registration deadline: Wednesday, September 2nd at noon.

*Participants must be 14 years of age or older. All participants under 18 must have

a chaperone (chaperone does not need to purchase a ticket if they only intend to watch). Tickets at tallahasseemuseum.org

NIGHT PROWL

August 1st & September 1st 7:00pm – 8:30pm Tallahassee Museum

3945 Museum Drive

Tallahassee, FL

Enjoy a tour of night life at the Tallahassee Museum as your guide points out many of our nocturnal animals who call the museum home. You will also have an opportunity to get close to one special night creature!

*Please note that this is an outdoor program. *Tickets must be purchased in advanced through the website. Registration deadline is September 2nd at 12:00pm (noon).

AMAZING LET’S ROAM

TALLAHASSEE SCAVENGER HUNT: THE BEST OF FLORIDA'S CAPITAL!

September 6th 10:00am – 10:00pm 116 Honors Way Tallahassee, FL

Stop stressing about finding the perfect group activity for adults and sign up for a Tallahassee scavenger hunt today! On

The Best of Florida's Capital, you and your friends will venture off on a Tallahassee walking tour to different landmarks, to learn about the history, culture, and art Tallahassee has to offer. The hunts will take you by all the local hotspots where you can pop in and raise a glass!

Some highlights to look forward to include: Florida State University, First Presbyterian Church, Capitol Complex. There’s other hunts in the area too! Such as: Jacksonville, From The Ashes, Pensacola Scavenger Hunt, and Atlanta Perspectives.More information at www.scavengerhunt.com/locations and enter Tallahassee in the search box.

TALLAHASSEE BALLOON FESTIVAL

September 11-12th 4:00pm-10:00pm

North Florida Fair

441 E Paul Russell Rd

Tallahassee, Florida 32301

Tallahassee Balloon Festival is coming to the North Florida Fairgrounds. Bring the whole family out for a great family fun time! See incredible hot air balloons, check that bucket list and get a ride on a tethered hot air balloon!

More information and tickets available at freshtix.com.

TALLAHASSEE CARIBBEAN CARNIVAL

September 12th-13th 11:00am – 3:00pm

The Pavilion at The Centre of Tallahassee 2415 North Monroe Street

Tallahassee, FL

The 3rd annual Tallahassee Caribbean Carnival is a festival that brings the culture and the taste of the islands to Tallahassee. Enjoy Caribbean music and food, vendors, parties and parade.

For more information call 850.251.2482

PROFESSIONAL WOMEN'S FORUM

Date: August 11, 2020

Time: 12:00 - 1:00 pm

Location: Online

Presented by the Tallahassee Greater Chamber of Commerce

Speaker: Heidi Otway, President | Partner Salter Mtchell PR

Since 1985, Professional Women’s Forum has provided a lunchtime program featuring distinguished women leaders from our community and region going beyond their bios to provide attendees personal and professional growth through advice, tools, strategies and takeaways from their own success.

Registration: Talchamber.com

WOMEN'S

POWER HOUR

Thursday, September 3, 2020

Fit & Functional

2915 Kerry Forest Pkwy, Unit 601 Tallahassee, Florida 32309

Tallahassee Woman Magazine & Women Who Mean Business Fierce and Flexy Fitness class! Come enjoy an evening of exercise. Each participant will engage in 60 minute Fitness Collage including Core Resistance, Pilates Reformer and Yoga.

6:00 p.m. Doors open 6:30 – 7:30 pm class

Registration: $20

For more info and registration: www. Fitfunctional.com/WPH Masks and social distancing required.

Sue Dick LEADING FROM BEHIND

UNDERSTATED POWER & INFLUENCE

Her cellphone... I’m not sure I’ve ever seen Sue Dick without it. Nor have I ever been with her when it didn’t ring or ping. And most likely, it was a call or text from a local business leader, a local elected official, a small business owner or maybe one of her grown children. Like most of us, Sue’s cellphone is her lifeline to what is happening around her. Maybe unlike most of us, her contacts read like a Who’s Who of Tallahassee. Ask Sue about any community or business issue, and if she doesn’t know the answer, she has access to hundreds of people who do. I have seen her convene a group of diverse advisors in less than an hour to discuss an issue that impacts Tallahassee’s business community. When Sue calls, people answer.

It wasn’t always that way. Sue found her way to Tallahassee the first time via Florida State University (FSU). Growing up in Miami as a first-generation Cuban American, she knew she didn’t want to go to college in South Florida as her cousins would. As a child, her family traveled around the country, camping and exploring new cities. Her older brother aspired to attend the U.S. Air Force Academy, and Sue wanted to go away too. And she did. Two major events happened to Sue while a student at FSU. Her parents divorced after 25 years of marriage, she met her husband. One night, a neighbor asked if she was interested in a blind date. Sue’s initial response was “Um, no thank you.” She ultimately changed her mind and went on her first and only blind date. His name was Bobby Dick. From Tallahassee, Bobby went to school at Memphis State University (now University of Memphis) on a golf scholarship. After graduation, Bobby returned to Tallahassee with his sights set on joining the PGA Tour.

After graduation, Sue took a job with Hilton Hotels in Miami at the Fontainebleau. She wanted a career in hospitality management and ultimately hoped to land as a general

manager of a hotel. Bobby went to Orlando to try and make the PGA Tour. After two years in Orlando, Bobby followed Sue to Miami, where they were married. Both knew they did not want to raise children in South Florida, so Bobby found a job back home in Tallahassee, and they moved north.

Sue’s transition back to Tallahassee several years after college was rough. She began making calls looking for the right spot to land in her chosen field of hospitality management. She worked the contacts she had and some she didn’t. One night, her frustration boiled over, and she had a meltdown that went something like this: “nobody knows me. I used to go stay at the Waldorf. I was somebody, and now I’m nobody. Tallahassee is slow. Nobody calls me.” After making one well-placed call, she finally landed a position with the Convention and Visitors Bureau(CVB).

She has never forgotten that meltdown. Years later she gave her daughter, Jordan, this sage advice: “We don’t have meltdowns. Power on.” They had just arrived in New York on Memorial Day weekend to settle Jordan into a subleased apartment when they realized they had been scammed. There was a payment of first and last month’s rent, packed suitcases, a beautiful building with a doorman, but there was no apartment 23a. So, what do fierce moms do? They extend the hotel stay by a week, call a college friend who lives in the area and find a sofa for your 22-year-old daughter to sleep on until appropriate housing can be found. Problem solved.

After six years with the CVB, Joe Kelley, then President and CEO of the Chamber, called Sue to offer her a position serving as his number two – overseeing work at both the Chamber and the Economic Development Council (EDC.) Fast forward three years and Sue is selected as the first female President and CEO in the Chamber’s history.

ON THE COVER

Sue’s success stems from her many attributes: patience, calm demeanor, diplomacy, humility, and genuine concern for others. She’s been described as a master chess player – she knows all of the pieces and what motivates the players. She stays two to three moves ahead of the opponent and patiently waits for the right time to seize an opportunity.

When posed with the question about the leadership traits she admires most in volunteer leaders, she answered “a strong moral and spiritual compass– Someone strategic and visionary with an ability to manage complex circumstances, a sense of humor and is accessible.” She actually described herself. Whether she would admit it or not is up for debate.

Ask Sue about her community role models and she’ll tell you about coming from a workingclass family and finding success through hard work and seizing opportunities. “As a first-generation Cuban American, I watched my parents work to provide my brother and me with opportunities they never had. My father was a self-taught upholsterer and my mother was an office assistant. Strong work ethic, pride and pursuing every possible opportunity to make the next day better than the previous. During these remarkable and historical times, I see that in so many of our local business owners.” What about community volunteers and champions? “There are too many to name, but we know their faces. These are individuals who continue to give their time, talent and service to make Tallahassee a better place to live.”

Sue is also known for her reluctance to be in the spotlight, instead opting to have other receive credit. Ask any of the 20 volunteer chair she’s worked with, and most will say the same thing – she is quick to pivot any attention directed at her to someone else.

Former Chamber Chair Ron Sachs, CEO of Sachs Media Group, said it best: “Sue is always more comfortable behind the scenes than out in front, though she is great out in front, on anything. And she regularly defers the limelight to her honorary volunteer chair and board members on critical issues, initiatives and projects.”

And true to form, as she and I were talking about this article, her first question to me was “How’s your world?” Every time I would try to get back to talking about herself, she would go to her family or to me. When I finally told her we were going to talk about her, she was candid. “I’m not comfortable being in the spotlight.”

Diplomatic to a fault, she says it’s impossible

to name her favorite chairman. “Truly, always the Chairman that I am currently serving with. I have worked side-by-side and been mentored by 20 remarkable Chairmen who have given so much of their time, talent and tenacity. Each leader has brought his own unique style and personality to support me and our staff all while governing a 44-member Board of Directors and maintaining their professional responsibilities. My first full year as President and CEO, Henree Martin served as Chairman of the Chamber. Only the second female Chairman in the Chamber’s history, Henree provided wonderful guidance and patience. As a respected and successful commercial real estate broker, working predominantly in a male-oriented industry, it was a perfect fit, as I was the first female President/CEO of the Chamber.”

Sue’s success as a female working in a maledominated industry is being replicated by daughter Jordan, a player relations executive with the National Football League. “It’s what you want. I look back and realize that Bobby and I did everything we could to expose our kids to every opportunity as long as they showed initiative. And then you hand it over.” Sue and Bobby attended Super Bowl LIV in Miami this year. “Watching Jordan work– all the while thinking ‘she did it’– was a proud moment for me.”

Her son Jackson is enjoying similar success. Living in Greenville, South Carolina, he’s following his fathers footsteps as a financial advisor. Working for Bank of America, Jackson is busy preparing to take his Series 6 and Series 7 exams. He frequently calls his father for advice. And no matter how old a son is, he will always need his mom– like when he’s having his wisdom teeth removed–,and mom will always be there.

Sue has demonstrated her ability to lead for 20 years despite the constant changing circumstances in the world, our country, and our community by adapting and changing along the way. I asked her to describe what she currently see in the changing roles of chambers.

“I currently participate on at least two calls a week with industry peers and professional consultants who provide knowledge, fact-based data and sometimes just a listening ear and ‘therapy.’ A tremendous amount of research has been done by the Association of Chamber of Commerce Executives for CEOs of Chambers directly on this topic. These are the areas I strongly believe will become the new normal for chambers to remain relevant.

“Diversity Equality Inclusion Imperative – Community and business growth should continue to be the mission of a Chamber. Our

country is becoming increasingly diverse, and these diverse communities represent a key part of our economic future. As an example, the Knoxville (TN) Chamber Diversity Champions program is a group of 60 business leaders working to define diversity and inclusion goals for the region, promote workplace and marketplace inclusion and develop an accountability process to assess and report community progress.

Belonging and Gathering – As a membershipbased organization, Chambers need to realize there will be a revolution on who and how individuals will engage as members and participants. Networking and events are not the same thing. Missional versus transactional will define two types of membership in the future. Those who want to get something done through the Chamber versus those who want to get something from the Chamber.

Technology – Chambers are in the communication business. Members and constituents will expect mass customization, complete connectivity and robust feedback loops.

Global Impact – Exports will drive growth. The world will have the opportunity to come to our door – if we plan. Strong places will still matter to global companies. Small- to medium-sized companies need exposure and connections to global opportunities.

Population Change – Population diversification and growth will continue on a state and national scale. Millennials displace boomers as the workplace majority and bring with them inclusive core values that challenge traditional perceptions of what chambers have historically be known as.

Social and Political Fabric – Splintering in politics and society is felt at the local level, not just in state government and in Washington. Trend is unlikely to reverse, but chambers have an opportunity in the “sane center.”

Resource Alignment – In the search for revenue beyond the members’ rate card, chambers must tie investment to the mission. Supporters will want progress more than engagement.

Catalytic Leadership – Local leadership matters more in a diverse and distracted world. chambers may have to get comfortable being a catalyst for change for the entire community.

Engaging the Public Sector – As chamber executives, our jobs require us to work with a wide variety of people to get things done. It is critical that chambers develop a strategy for engaging the public sector.”

Ask others what Sue’s legacy will be, and the theme is common.

Former Chamber Chairwoman Heidi Otway, President of Salter Mitchell Communications

“Increasing the influence of the Tallahassee business community to have a say on policies, issues, and initiatives that impact our city as a whole. She is truly focused on making this region a place where people will want to live, work, and play.”

Chairman-elect Jay Smith, Ajax Building Company

“Tallahassee has grown up from being a town to a city during Sue’s leadership. During that time, she has been able to create a vision to move and grow the chamber during this transition. She has built a great team and the business community trusts Sue. Her determination to build a better community has made Tallahassee an amazing place that has allowed it to be attractive to business and retain our charm.”

Former Chamber Chairman Bill Moor, Capital City Trust Company|Capital City Investments

“A business community which has a seat at the table in what’s happening in Tallahassee – there is no issue which arises in our community which the Chamber is not looked to for input.”

Former Chamber Chairman Rick Moore, Moore Bass Consulting

“In my experience one the toughest jobs is to be a leader of leaders. She has cracked that code and manages to tease out the “something extra” from a busy group of business leaders for the benefit of Tallahassee.”

There are countless memorable events that have occurred during Sue’s tenure – passing a half penny sales tax (twice) to support local school infrastructure; passing the penny sales tax to support economic activities under Blueprint; the contentious breakup of the Chamber and the EDC; navigating the impact of COVID-19 on the Chamber and its members; engaging in dialogue around the controversial proposal to shift local utilities from natural gas to coal plant; the support of a Children’s Services Council; or negotiating with NAACP to avoid the picket lines outside the Chamber conference in Walton County. But she describes her most memorable event as the recruitment of Danfoss Turbocor from Canada AND the launch of Access Tallahassee as a way to focus on retaining and building the next generation of business and community leaders.

When the time comes to paddle off into the sunset, what’s next for Sue Dick? She’s not sure. “My horizon is getting shorter. I love

working with so many people I respect, many who have become my closest professional friends. I’d really like to be with the Chamber for Tallahassee’s Bicentennial celebration in 2024. I think about this every day and talk to Bobby about it every other day – I don’t know. Maybe a house on 30A. I know what I’m NOT going to do. When the time comes, I think I’ll know.” Editor’s note: She’ll probable spend plenty of time with her girlfriends – the LEGS and Buddy, the Dick’s dachshund and Sue’s improbable sidekick.

I asked Sue if she had any regrets. Without hesitation, she answered no. “I’m not going to spend a breath on something in the past. You can’t change it. But I have learned so much. I don’t like conflict. Maybe if I were tougher in a couple of situations, it might have saved me some sleepless nights.”

My final question for Sue was the same one I ask her almost every time we meet. Are we having fun yet? {Giggle. Giggle.} “Yeahˮ

photography: Steven Saccio | makeup: Lisa Davis | clothing and accessories: Narcissus

MADAME XHALES AT EXPERIMENTAL SPA

One of the most physically and emotionally nourishing environments is that of a pampering spa. After visiting world-class hotel spas from Morocco to Monaco, and other destinations, I was inspired to transform my villa into a one-stop, soul-soothing wellness retreat.

What’s more accommodating than plopping up on your own private island for months on end? So what if the empty stretches of pristine white-sand beach may be missing. Private rock gardens, outdoor decks and bubbling Jacuzzis set the scene for an indulgent playground that competes with the finest in the world.

Peace and relaxation come easy when you don’t have to board an ultra-long haul flight to find it!

Establishing a luxe vibe starts with reenacting past vacation experiences. With little effort, a backyard tent converts into a pretend-safari-lodge in the heart of the Serengeti. Alfresco hot tubs and expansive grounds ring in memories of yoga and meditation retreats nestled in the Caribbean. Lush tropical gardens and leafy palm terraces mimic jungle hideaways in Cambodia.

The Internet unfolds a myriad of global rituals to recreate a magical place for mind and body rejuvenation. An abundance of adventurous activities are at your fingertips – if you’re willing to test your imaginative limits.

Self-care starts with scheduled activities. Open-air cardio fitness, stretching in the morning breeze and jumping rope at sunset await – in your own private Garden of Eden. Immersive walks

in nearby woods become Nature’s Stairmaster. For a change of pace, balance your wellness activities with pursuits like bird-watching.

For peak tranquility, liberate your senses with a night spent with a telescope under the twinkling stars.

Basic common ingredients found in the kitchen or local farmer’s market are the makings for rebalancing body treatments.

A long soak in a fragrant citrus bath, using acidic fruits, restores pH balance and is mildly bleaching to skin. An unhurried dip in oranges and lemons will leave you feeling refreshed. Adding mineral salts to a patio tub will provide all the Zen you need to reduce unexpected stress.

A relaxing spray or sachet of lavender can be doused on sheets before going to bed to hasten sleep. A self-administered head massage using an emollient infused with olive oil, grape seeds and rosemary, reminiscent of holidays in Italy, will guarantee sweet dreams.

eXploring foodie facials: Raw honey is a miracle skin softener, used as a beauty component across continents and cultures, since the ancient days of Cleopatra. In fact, when archaeologists discovered the shrines of Egyptian pharaohs and queens, they were exquisitely preserved due to being mummified in honey.

Avocado, high in vitamins A and E, mashed into pulp, softens and moisturizes the skin. Sliced Cucumber,

Leafy Palm Terraces Mimic Jungle Hideaways
A Fragrant Citrus Bath Yoga in the Morning Cooling Kiwi Slices

positioned over tired eyes, reduces puffiness and is soothing and healing. Cooling kiwi slices contain vitamin E and omega 3 acids that will leave your face glowing. A slathering of mashed bananas on the face yields radiance-boosting results.

Oatmeal is another age-old skin exfoliator and aids in skin softening when made into a paste. Organic coconut sugar is an ideal scrub and exfoliant. From honey-brushed salt scrubs to chia seed rubs, an array of natural facial care concoctions can be conceived in the comfort of home.

activities—where like-minded Xhalers have experienced inner-exhilaration! © Contact MadameXhales: thewritepublicist@earthlink.net

Veteran publicist and luxury lifestyle experience-aholic, Regina Lynch-Hudson, pens MadameXhales, slated towards the vintage of woman that according to studies: enjoys more time to travel, indulges in longer trips, and selects more extravagant travel accommodations. The exacting taste of MadameXhales finds her exploring destinations, cruises, resorts, spas, and extracurricular
Honey and Oatmeal Two Age-Old Skin Remedies
From cupboard to skincare

REPURPOSING MY OFFICE SPACE

When I picked my then two-year-old up from her preschool the Friday before spring break, I never thought that for the rest of the school year, I would be faced with a new adventure of having her and her infant brother in my office ALL DAY.

Toddlers at Work BUSINESS Business

Fortunately for me, the partners at the contract lobbying firm I work with, have always supported me in bringing my kids to work. Our clients love that when they visit our office, the “Junior Interns” welcome them with open arms.

However, after a few days of COVID CAMP (a nickname we gave our new time together), we knew we needed to repurpose our space. After a little research, we settled on a Montessori-style office space and the KonMari method of tidying up.

The Montessori is a style of teaching developed by Dr. Maria Montessori. I found the emphasis on simplifying children’s choices and toys the most valuable for my renovation. KonMari is a method of tidying created by Marie Kondo. After reading her book, TheLife ChangingMagicofTidyingUp , I was freed of the idea that more stuff and toys meant happy, entertained kids. Combining those two methods helped be survive COVID CAMP.

Our office was filled with baskets and bins of toys. I assumed that the more choices the better. That only drove me crazy, and my daughter still was not playing independently. So, I made the drastic decision to donate about 60 percent of their toys. I put the remaining ones in bins. Then I put the bins away.

Each week I gave each child four toys, which I placed in a “cube” on the book shelves in the office and rotated each week. This has been a game changer. I have less toys all over my office. They play with the toys longer and clean them up when they are done.

I know it is hard to get rid of toys, but trust me on this. This purge will make a huge difference. Now when a toy is not stored or it simply drives me crazy, I donate it. Sure, my daughter might ask where it is, but she quickly moves on to her other play things that are new to her because they were unavailable the week before. Less has truly become more.

Each day I pray things get safer before school starts. Until then, I hope this little tip can help the parents who are now living the stay-at-home-full-time-working mom/ dad life. Now let the toy purge begin.

Dr. Trevena Favors

WOMEN

NEWS|AWARDS|MILESTONES

Joanna Copenhaver

Dr. Trevena Favors was promoted this month to Pharmacy Manager at CVS in Tallahassee. Prior to joining CVS a year ago, Dr. Favors served as clinical pharmacy manager at WCRX pharmacy. She earned her Doctor of Pharmacy degree from Florida A&M University and her B.S. in chemical engineering from Florida State. She is currently earning a M.S. degree in biostatistics and mathematics from the University of West Florida. She enjoys selling real estate and spending time with her two teenage daughters, Kendra and Janai.

Marcia Warfel

Marcia Warfel has been named President of the Club 25 Women

Joanna Copenhaver is beginning her third year as St. John Paul II Catholic High School’s principal. Her vision and focus on college readiness, diversity, E-learning and school safety has led to an increase in enrollment and funding. The graduating class receives an average of $3.1 million in college scholarships. The school has the largest entering class in its history under her incisive, familyoriented leadership and her efforts are recognized and applauded by Bishop William Wack and the Diocese of Pensacola-Tallahassee. Joanna enjoys spending time with her husband of 25 years and their five children. Women to Watch includes announcements of

“Women to Know” in partnership with the Tallahassee Democrat. Marcia is the Director of Public Relations for Tallahassee Woman Magazine and a servant leader/community advocate for women and girls. A woman that wears many hats, Marcia is an emergency management professional that has over 20 years of experience. She is CEO of Maxim Strategies and Solutions consulting firm. Marcia is excited to be finishing her Master’s degree at Florida State University.

WELLNESS Wellness Anxiety in 2020 A SIGN OF THE TIMES:

2020 has brought unprecedented levels of stress and anxiety. Unfortunately, women are carrying the brunt of the psychological distress, especially around the pandemic. Research indicates that women are at a greater risk of anxiety in general and of anxiety disorders in particular. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), pandemics are stressful for most people. Individuals worry about their health, the health of their families and the loss of daily activities.

Women may be presented with special challenges during a pandemic. Under normal circumstances, their worries may be stimulated by concerns about things like family health and finances. These anxieties have been heightened with the pandemic and are compounded by new

concerns around homeschooling, financial uncertainty, and family health. There is additional anxiety around feeling cooped up at home, particularly if one has young children who must be entertained and educated.

Some symptoms that may be present in this time of stress include sleep disturbances, changes in appetite, difficulties concentrating, increased use of substances, and the worsening of mental health or chronic health conditions.

To combat the anxiety, it is important to take steps for self-care and to reach out to organizations designed to help with coping. Some of the self-care steps recommended by the CDC include becoming educated about COVID-19 and what to do if someone gets sick, taking news breaks to avoid

becoming overly upset about the pandemic, engaging in enjoyable activities and even sleeping. Meditation and stretch exercises can calm both the mind and body, as can eating healthy and nutritious meals.

In addition to self-care, there are outside resources available to help with stress. The U.S. Department of Health & Human Services has a National Helpline available at 1-800-662-HELP(4357) for individuals suffering a mental health or substance abuse crisis. Their website provides a number of other helpful organizations. The CDC website also lists several organizations one can turn to for assistance. Probably the most important thing to remember in these times, though, is to breathe and know that this too will pass.

Wellness

DIVORCE TOOLBOX:

Parental Alliance or Alienation?

The most devastating thing a parent can do during or after a divorce is put the child in the middle of the emotional, financial and psychological warfare that exists in chronicallyconflicted divorce cases. In extreme cases, it is common to see alienating behaviors of one parent or both against the other parent, causing the child to have a diminished loose connection with the other parent. It is not a clinical diagnosis but it does warrant some attention. It is important to form an alliance with the other parent and co-parent effectively and not put the child in the middle. Unfortunately, many parents engage in destructive, emotionally scarring, abrasive behaviors that are at worse, parental alienation. SO, what is Parental alienation syndrome or (PAS) you ask? It is a term coined by the American psychiatrist Dr. Richard Gardner to refer to a disorder that results in the context of custody disputes in which one parent deliberately turns a child against the other parent. In this disorder we see a combination of programming (“brainwashing”) of the child by one parent to denigrate the other parent and self-created

contributions by the child in support of the alienating parent’s campaign of denigration of the alienated parent. According to the definition, PAS primarily occurs during legal battles for parental custody in the adversary system. The child’s denigrating attitude toward the non-residential parent, usually the father, is the main symptom exhibited by children who suffer from PAS. Despite a court order for contact, the child consistently refuses to see the absent parent, and, when interviewed, talks of his or her hatred for the nonresident parent.

Typically, the alienating parent programs into the child’s brain circuitry ideas and attitudes that are directly in conflict with the child’s earlier experiences. Also, PAS children often add their own scenarios to the campaign of denigration, from their observation that their complementary contributions are welcomed by the programmer. The three levels of alienation children can experience are: mild, moderate, and severe. In cases of mild parental alienation there is some parental programming against the other parent however

visitation is not seriously affected and the child manages to negotiate having a relationship with both parents without too much complication. In moderate cases there is considerable programming against the other parent, resulting in struggles around visitation. The child usually has difficulty during the transitioning from one parent to the other but in time is able to have a relationship with both. In severe cases the child is adamant about his or her hatred of the targeted parent. The relationship between the targeted parent and the child results in total destruction due to the actions of the alienating parent. Indoctrinating alienation into a child is a form of abuse (emotional abuse) because it can result in progressive attenuation of the psychological bond between the child and a loving parent.

DIVORCE TOOLBOX TO AVOID ALIENATION

1. Do not discuss negative aspects of other parents with the child.

2. Do not send messages through the child to the other parent.

3. Do not interrogate your child after visiting their other parent.

4. Promote the relevance of the other parent to your child.

5. Do not speak disparagingly about your child’s extended family.

6. Do allow your child to talk on the phone privately with their other parent.

7. Allow them to love their other parent and promote that relationship.

8. Remember that your reality is not their reality.

9. Do get professional counseling for your grief, anger and loss and not lean on your child for emotional support.

10. Sacrifice for your child and be nice; form an alliance with their other parent and demonstrate that just because you and the other parent don’t love each other it does not take away from your love for the child.

FUEL SMARTER

FUEL SMARTER

RECIPE

BY

LISA DAVIS

Chocolate Chunk SMOOTHIE

• 2 scoops of chocolate protein of choice (I use plant based )

• 1 large handful of baby spinach. Trust me, you can't taste it

• 1 small dollop of almond butter (I like crunchy)

• 1/2 of a frozen banana

• 1 cup of ice

• 1 cup of almond, coconut or oat milk.

(I prefer almond )

• 1 cup water

Optional additions: fruit, chia seeds, hemp seeds, flax seeds, additional supplements.

SMOOTHIES ARE A CONVENIENT WAY TO CREATE A HEALTHY MEAL ON-THE-GO. USE YOUR BLENDER TO POWER PACK YOUR SMOOTHIE WITH PROTEIN, VEGGIES AND FRUIT.

The Dish CHEESECAKE

RECIPE BY JENNIFER YOUNG

FOOD Key Lime Food

CRUST INGREDIENTS

1/2 C Unsalted Butter

2 C Graham Cracker Crumbs

2 Tbsp Sugar

FILLING INGREDIENTS

2 8oz Cream Cheese Blocks

1/4 C Cornstarch

1/2 C Heavy Cream

1/4 C Key Lime Juice

3 Large Eggs

1 1/2 C Sugar

1 TBSP Pure Vanilla Extract

Zest of Key Lime

CRUST

1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees.

2. Line and grease a 9inch spring-form with parchment paper.

3. Combine the crust ingredients and press mixture along the bottom and sides.

4. Bake the crust for 7 minutes and set aside to cool. Once cooled, wrap the outside of the pan with aluminum foil. Set aside

FILLING

1. Combine the first 4 ingredients until nice and smooth.

3. Once combined, add the sugar, vanilla, and zest. Beat until the batter is lump free.

4. Pour batter evenly on top of crust.

5. Place pan inside another larger pan and fill the outside pan with water enough to come up 1 inch from the rim.

6. Bake for 1hr 30 minutes - the middle of cheesecake should still have a slight jiggle when done.

7. Remove from water bath and aluminum foil.

8. Let cool and firm in the refrigerator for 5-6hrs before cutting.

9. Top with your favorite whipped cream and zest.

2. Add each egg one at a time, beating well after each addition.

WE Insire

Find A New Holding Pattern

Earlier this year, 26 Tallahassee residents were quarantined in Peru. I was one of them.

As missionaries, our aim was to meet the social and spiritual needs of the community, while building on projects we completed two years prior. However, during our stay, the country was put on a strict quarantine due to pandemic. We couldn’t progress, nor could we travel home to be with loved ones. We were stuck in a holding pattern.

Reflecting on that time, I am thankful for this lesson: when life puts you in a holding pattern, you must be intentional about what you are holding on to. Initially, I tried holding on to a way out, but I quickly lost my grip on faith in the process. This ancient wisdom restored my peace: “...do not lean on your own

understanding” (Proverbs 3:5, ESV).

As you learn how to heal, what are you holding on to? Is it thoughts of, “When will we return to normal?” or “Will our society ever be ʻjustʼ for all?” If so, I invite you to explore a new holding pattern. Hold only onto that which embraces you with faith, peace and sanity in return.

Dr.AshaFieldsBrewerisaCreatorof HealthyConversations.Sheistheowner oftheTempleFitCompanywellness agency,whose25+facultyteachthe busyandoverwhelmedhowtolivelife abundantlyinsixkeyareasofwell-being. SheistheauthorofReflection:Women’s WellnessJournalandotherwellness empowermentbooks,whichareavailable at www.doctorasha.com/books.

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Tallahassee Woman August/September 2020 by Tallahassee Woman Magazine - Issuu