Dec14-Jan15 Tallahassee Woman Magazine

COMPLIMENTARY

Prissy Elrod A Life Far Outside of the Ordinary

Personalize

Your Parties

Turn Your Winter Blues to Winter Wonder

December 2014 / January 2015

Make it

Festive!

Annual Holiday Gift Guide

Chicken

Soups

From Around the World

Best Money

Resolutions

Stay Fit Trends

Defy Your Age t a l l a h a s s e e wo m a n

• D e c e m b e r 2014/J a n u a r y 2015 1

2015 A FUN, YET EDUCATIONAL HEALTH EVENT! Tallahassee Memorial presents Baby and Family Fair 2015, an educational and exciting health event for both expectant moms and dads and families with children of all ages.

Baby and Family Fair 2015 will showcase products and services for those who are making important decisions about pregnancy, childbirth and raising a family.

*

entertainment & games

*

Saturday, January 10, 2015 9:30 a.m. to 1 p.m.

Turnbull Conference Center 555 West Pensacola Street

TMH.org/fair 2  t a l l a h a s s e e

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Tallahassee Woman Magazine | December 2014/January 2015 | TalWoman.com

Contents

56

6 Our Thoughts

36 Community

Season’s Greetings

8 Girl Talk

New Year’s Resolutions: Don’t Bother | Hello Ello! | Zipping Out of Your Comfort Zone | Get Your News ‘theSkimm’ Way | Fresh New Ways to Wear Your Eyeliner | Out With the Old and in With the New | Trending Now

Using Art to Brighten Lives | Giving Women a Fresh New Start | The Alzheimer’s Project: Providing Relief to Those Who Have Forgotten | What Women Should Know

54 Business and Career BFF or Best Frenemies—Does Frienship Work for Work?

16 Faves & Raves

55 Money Talks

20 Style and Grace

56 Home and Garden

24 Healthy Living

58 The Dish

Holiday Gift Guide

Best Money Resolutions

Forever Young

Personalize Your At-Home Parties

Turn Your Winter Blues Into Winter Wonder

26 Sports & Fitness

Nourish Your Body With Chicken Soups From Around the World

62 Funny Girl

Stay Fit This Winter

The Perfect Gift

28 Real Life

Cat-Calling: Harmless or Harassment?

30 My Time

Holiday Movie Favorites

16 On the Cover

Page 32 Prissy Elrod: The Journey of a Butterfly

By Heather Thomas About the Cover: Photography by Adam Cohen | Styling by Nancy Cohen | Makeup

by Natalie Black with Randi Buchanan Makeup Is Art | Clothes and accessories provided

by Narcissus.

IN EVERY ISSUE Haute Happenings 40 | Around Town 43 | We Admire 50 | Women to Watch 52 4 t a l l a h a s s e e

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Jolita JolitaBurns, Burns,MD, MD,Michael MichaelDouso, Douso,MD MDand andStephanie StephanieCruz CruzLee, Lee,MD MD

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• D e c e m b e r 2014/J a n u a r y 2015 5

OURTHOUGHTS

Living Well and Loving Life!

December 2014 / January 2015 Volume 9 | Issue 6

Publisher Kim Rosier Editor Heather Thomas Editorial Assistant Keasi Smith Advertising sales Director Lynn Solomon Advertising sales Jennifer Stinson GRAPHIC DESIGN Christy Jennings Miqueli INTERNS Sarah Burgess • Julia Marshall Valentina Rymar Tallahassee Woman Magazine LLC Post Office Box 13401 Tallahassee, FL 32317-3401 Phone (850) 893-9624 Fax (850) 254­-7038 info@TalWoman.com Tallahassee Woman is published six times per year and is distributed on a complimentary basis throughout Tallahassee and the surrounding communities.

Subscriptions are available for $15 for one year (six issues).

The information in this publication is presented in good faith. The publisher does not guarantee accuracy or assume responsibility for errors or omissions.

Advertising

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year from All of us at

Tallahassee Woman Magazine 6 t a l l a h a s s e e

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For more information on advertising, call (850) 893-9624 or e-mail ads@TalWoman.com Copyright ©2014 Tallahassee Woman Magazine LLC. All rights reserved. Reproduction, in part or in whole, without expressed written consent of the Publisher is prohibited.

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• D e c e m b e r 2014/J a n u a r y 2015 7

G i r lta l k WELLNESS | STYLE | KNOWLEDGE | TRENDS | SHOPPING

New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Bother

I

t’s already time for New Year’s resolutions again. Do you have a list of things you’d like to change or goals you’d like to reach in the New Year?

How did you do with last year’s list?

As one year ends and another begins, people often reflect on things they would like to change. Everyone likes a fresh start, and New Year’s resolutions can seem like the best way to achieve that. Have you ever noticed the same resolutions show up year after year? You’ve probably been thinking about your resolutions for the New Year. Are they similar to last year’s New Year’s resolutions?

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Here are some of the most common recurring resolutions: • Lose weight/start exercising • Quit smoking • Spend more time with family and friends • Quit drinking • Get out of debt • Volunteer/help others • Go back to school/learn a new skill • Get a new job/make more money • Manage stress/enjoy life more • Get organized

• D e c e m b e r 2014/J a n u a r y 2015

A New Year’s resolution is something we resolve to do. The word resolve comes from the Latin word “resolvere.” Resolvere is re + solvere. It means to solve again. And isn’t that what we try to do? We try to solve the same problems again and again.

New Year’s resolutions have been around since ancient Rome. Sadly, people have probably been breaking their resolutions for about that long too. If making and breaking New Year’s resolutions is all too familiar to you, decide now that this year will be different.

Don’t bother with New Year’s resolutions—they don’t work. Instead, create a list of not more than ten

yearlong goals for the New Year. To create your list of goals, you’ll need to set aside some time to reflect on the past year and plans for the coming year.

Wait until you have recovered from the holiday rush, and then block out a day or half a day to plan your goals.

Go somewhere quiet, make yourself comfortable, and take out your pen and paper. Begin by reflecting on the past year.

What were your successes? What made you happy? What do you consider to be your failures? What frustrated you? Spend some time writing down the answers to those questions and reflecting on them.

Next, ask yourself, “What do I really, really want?” Write your answers on your paper. Once you know what you want, formulate a plan. What are your long-term goals? What steps do you need to take immediately in order to achieve those goals? What will take a little longer to achieve?

Plan to monitor your progress throughout the year. Be prepared for challenges. Don’t let obstacles stand in your way. Enjoy the journey, but focus on the finish line.

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What if you have some setbacks? Simply refocus and continue on your journey.

You don’t have to wait until January 1st, or even until the next Monday, to begin again. Nothing says you can’t make positive changes on a Thursday in July.

Next New Year’s Eve when someone asks what your New Year’s resolutions are, you can tell them you’ve resolved not to make New Year’s resolutions. Instead, you’ve set yearlong goals you can achieve so you can —Valerie Taloni live a life you love.

If you want a great year, resolve not to set any resolutions for the New Year. Instead, set yearlong goals and create a plan to achieve them. In her downloadable eBook, “Burn Your Wish List!

How to Stop Hoping for the Best and Start Planning for Success” Valerie Taloni, also known as The Goal Diva, provides you with the only resource you need to set and achieve your goals. burnyourwishlist.com. Source: ezinearticles.com.

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• D e c e m b e r 2014/J a n u a r y 2015 9

G i r lta l k | A DV E N T U R E

Hello

Ello!

F

or those of us who have become annoyed with all of the advertising on social media, be annoyed no longer. The newest social media platform, Ello, has been called “the anti-Facebook” due to its complete lack of advertisements. The site is a mix between Twitter and Tumblr, allowing users to share both text and pictures in a very simple and clean layout. Users can follow whichever profiles they choose and can communicate to other users by mentioning them with the “@” symbol. Ello is still in beta, having only come out in August, which means that it is invite-only, and each new user is given a list of 25 invitations that they can send.

Potential users can also request an invite from the site itself. Ello is already a big hit with artists and designers, and an invitation is not necessary to scroll through other users profiles. This means you can look through the site’s featured profiles for —Tina Rymar endless inspiration.

Zipping Out of

Your Comfort Zone

W

ith a new year comes the desire for new perspectives, adventure and exploring areas outside of our comfort zones—maybe even participating in something far outside the ordinary. Zip-lining offers all of this and more. The Tree to Tree Adventure courses at the Tallahassee Museum allow participants to zip-line through a ropes and obstacle course, all while being high in the air over the museum’s swamps, forests and wildlife habitats. In addition to this, the Florida State University Reservation has recently opened a new high-challenge ropes course soaring 50 feet in the air that not only presents an exciting new challenge but also encourages communication and leadership. Get a jump on adventure by —Sarah Burgess zipping out of your comfort zone!

Scan this page with your smartphone using the Layar app to check out Ello! and experience Tallahassee Museum’s Tree-to-Tree Adventure Course. (See page 7 to learn how.)

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Get Your News theSkimm Way

R

eading and watching the news can often be a more time-consuming activity than we’d like it to be, and there are plenty of other things we could do with our time. But what if there was a way to get a quick look into what’s going on around the world—a recap of all the important stories of the day?

Two ladies in their twenties, Carly Zakin and Danielle Weisberg, quit their jobs to start a newsletter called “theSkimm.” It offers a free subscription that you can sign up for on their website (theskimm.com) to receive an e-mail every day with the latest and most important news stories from around the world. The idea of theSkimm is that no one is left searching for the news they want to find out about. TheSkimm team filters the news for you, providing a broad range of information about all topics of the day.

The newsletter uses fun language and allows women on the go to “skim” the news quickly and efficiently and feel more confident about staying — Julia Marshall in the know.

G i r l t a l k | K N O W Le D G e

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We wish you a happy holiday and prosperous new year!

Are you prepared for the new 2015 health care coverage changes that can affect your family and employees?

Our WellU ACAdemy experts can tell you what to expect in the year ahead and how to make the best health care insurance decisions.

Schedule your free WellU session today at WellU@rgvi.com or call 850-386-1111.

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• D e c e m b e r 2014/J a n u a r y 2015 11

G i r lta l k | B E AU T Y

Fresh New Ways to Wear Your Eyeliner

and a thinner, but still full-length line on the bottom. Make sure to smudge with this one as well, but not too much!

Thick and Intense

When going for a bold statement, this is the approach that should be used.

The main component of this eye is smudging the top and bottom lid line a great deal. This can be done by the dot technique: lining your lid with dots and smudging them together. This style could be intensified by lining the eyeliner with a colored eye shadow.

I

t’s about that time again to start trying a new look! What better way to begin than by mixing up your makeup style? Check out some fresh new ways to wear your eyeliner.

The Natural Look

At first glance, this is just a basic lining of the upper lid, but it allows you to dress it up with different colors. To make wider eyes look small, make sure to line the entire eyelid. To make smaller eyes look wider or larger, line only the outer half of the eyelid.

“V” for Va-Va-Voom

For this style, all you are doing is making a “V” on your eyelid. Simply outline the outward corners of your eye and bring them together in a nice V shape. This

style can be worn during the day or night, but when worn on nights out, line your upper lids more than for daytime wear.

Remember—always smudge the corners.

All the Way Around

This eyeliner look is fun, but it takes the right kind of woman to wear it because it can be too intense for people with smaller eyes. This style encompasses the eye, completely lining both lids—a soft, thick line on the top

7

Years The Sultry Look

Begin this look by lining both the top and bottom lid, but not too thick. Smudge these lines a little and then apply your eye shadow over them to give your eyes a sultry —Sarah Burgess and defined appearance.

Scan this page with your smartphone using the Layar app to see an instructional video on eyeliner tips. (See page 7 to learn how.)

Celebrating Years Time flies when you’re having fun and we’re having fun because of you . . .

Thank You

Tallahassee!

823 Thomasville Rd

(Midtown across from Tropical Smoothie)

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G i r lta l k | K N O W L E D G E

Out with the Old and In with the New!

When to Replace Your Old Make Up

M

ascara can become a pool of bacteria if used for too long. Mascara should be replaced every two to three months or when it starts to give off a fume-like smell.

Foundation in liquid form is water-based, meaning that it is a great place for germs to congregate and multiply. All foundations should be kept out of the heat and away from humid places like the bathroom, gym or locker room and should be replaced after six months.

Concealer can cause worse blemishes than what you are already trying to cover if it is expired. Stick concealers can last for a few years, while liquid concealer should be replaced each year or when it starts to discolor.

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• Residential • Commercial • New Construction • Remodels Nan Conway - Owner

Giving Tallahassee a Reason to Smile Richard J-P Bastien, DMD

Face powder tends to last forever—at least it seems so. Ultimately, powder can be used for up to two years or simply until it runs out.

Blush typically has the same shelf life as powder, but cream blushes should be replaced after one year. Because blush is applied over foundation, wait a few minutes to apply your blush to ensure that germs do not get transferred from the moisture of your face to your brush and then to your blush palette.

Eye shadow and eyeliner both come in contact with the mucus membrane of your eye, which causes a greater risk of a bacterial infection or conjunctivitis (also known as pink eye). To be safe, each should be replaced every three months.

Lip products should be replaced after having an illness, a change in the texture of the product or —Julia Marshall generally after one year.

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G i r lta l k | T R E N D S

TrendING NOW:

fa s h i o n • e n t e r ta i n m e n t • ON L INE • T e c h n o l o g y

By Keasi Smith

Crimped Hair is Back (Yes, You Read That Right)

Before I Die I Want To…

W

hat do you want to do before you die? Maybe you want to climb a mountain, find closure or start your own business. Two of the great commonalities in this world are (1) that our time on this earth is limited and (2) that we all dream, hope and aspire to cross each line off of our bucket list. These facts that bind us all as humans have been bringing the Tallahassee community together since April 2014, when Leon High sophomore Eva Rosenzweig and junior Rachel Joyner worked with the Community Redevelopment Agency to build the “Before I die” wall at Doug Burnette Park on Gaines Street.

The “Before I die” wall is an international movement that Tallahassee is proud to be a part of. Candy Chang was the first to come up with the idea. Through coping with the loss of a loved one, Candy created the first “Before I die” wall on an abandoned house in her neighborhood in New Orleans, Louisiana.

Now there are walls everywhere from New York City to Cordoba, Argentina.

Around the world, people are completing the sentence with hopes of well-being, finding love, helping others and happiness for their family. In Tallahassee, people have written things such as, “Make costumes for Broadway,” “Heal the world” and “Be a grandma.”

The wall has brought Tallahassee together one aspiration at a time, and it has allowed others to share their desires with the community. This public declaration of our deepest hopes has helped us gain perspective and reminds us to keep trying.

As we celebrate the arrival of the New Year, the “Before I Die” wall can help us understand our neighbors and know that together we are dreaming and striving to make our dreams a reality.

Scan this page with your smartphone using the Layar app to view Candy Chang’s Ted Talk about her creation of the “Before I die” wall. (See page 7 to learn how.)

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S

till have your crimping iron tucked away next to your scrunchies and teasing combs? Break it out, because crimping has made a comeback in a very high fashion way. Many designers are giving this 80s fashion trend a modern twist.

Reem Acra has her models crimped hair teased to create a voluminous hair-do. Zac Posen gives his sleek updos texture utilizing crimping.

And at Paris Fashion Week Stella McCartney’s models were wearing crimped hair in a way to add texture to otherwise simple low ponytails.

To achieve this new style of crimping, you must start by blow-drying your hair smooth and clamping down the crimping iron over sections of hair, but instead of brushing it out, you must “squash” down the hair close to the head and finish by putting it in a tight ponytail.

The biggest difference from the old style of crimping is that most designers are creating micro crimps and not large kinks. You can achieve this style with a micro crimper, or if without one, you may be able to recreate this texture by braiding very small braids around the crown of your head at night.

So whether you want to add texture to an otherwise simple hairdo, or if you just want to achieve that messy rolled out of bed, but fabulous wavy hair, crimping can make it happen. Who knew crimping could be so chic?

FEEL GREAT

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G I R L T ALK | sho p p i ng

Faves & Raves Holiday Gift Guide

Make it festive with these local finds and adornments that will keep everyone shining bright.

Stocking Hat Snowman $32.99 The Cottage at Tallahassee Nurseries 2911 Thomasville Road (850) 385-2162

14 ct. Rose Gold Diamond Bar Necklace $575 14 ct. Rose Gold Diamond Criss Cross Hoop Earrings $1600 Robert’s Jewelry and Designs 1950 Thomasville Road Unit M (850) 422-1373

Papa Mole’s Secrets of Happiness $15.95 Latest Release by Carol Hair Moore www.iwishyouicecreamandcake.com

White Pearl and Green Beaded Bracelet $12 Dazzle Me Divas 6265 Old Water Oak Road, #102 (850) 894-3482 (DIVA)

Smathers & Branson Lab Needlepoint Flask $65 Bowtie Needlepoint Credit Card Wallet $55 Old Glory Coaster (4pk) $75 Southern Compass Outfitters 1817 Thomasville Road In the Whole Foods plaza (850) 765-7172

Wish Sea Salt Sachet $13.99 At Last Bubble Bath With Crate $69.99 Pearl and Pendant Necklace $29.99 As You Wish 1950 Thomasville Road Unit J (850) 577-7777

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Camel Boot

by Bamboo54 $69.99 Walter Green 1817 Thomasville Road, #530 In the Whole Foods plaza (850) 999-6105

Baila Luna Amazonite Sterling Silver Earrings $38 Shine Boutique 2915 Kerry Forest Parkway Suit 605 (850) 765-1854

Regalia by Vietri Cream Dessert Bowl $72 Ruffle Glass Gold Canape Plate $22 My Favorite Things 1410 Market Street (850) 681-2824

White Truffle Oil $12 Infused Olive Oil $16 Garlic Twist $19.99 Smashing Olive Oil & Vinegar Tasting Room 3425 Thomasville Road Suite 11 (850) 270-9971

eclectic home & couture 2030-5 Thomasville Road • 850-727-4834 Hours: Mon-Fri 10-6 • Sat 10-5

As You Wish

NOT YOUR

DAUGHTER’S

BOUTIQUE

Gym Bag and Accessories Call for pricing Sweat Therapy Fitness 1122 Thomasville Road, Unit 10 (850) 222-1781 and 6265 Old Water Oak Road Suite 102A (850) 629-4378

Clothing • Accessories • Gifts 1950 Thomasville Rd., Unit J • Tallahassee, FL 32303 (next to Food Glorious Food)

asyouwishtally@yahoo.com • (850) 577-7777 t a l l a h a s s e e wo m a n

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G I R L T ALK | sho p p i ng

MARVIN, BUSY BUMBLE BEE & RUBY KATE WELCOME A NEW FRIEND

Papa Mole

se! a e l e R w e N

Busy Bumble Be e Rides the Waves

Marvin the Magnificent Nubian Goat Ruby Kate’s Scrumptious Tea Cake Party

The fourth book in the series I Wish You Icecream and Cake is now available! Papa Mole’s Secrets of Happiness takes the reader on a journey through the beautiful Apalachicola National Forest as Papa Mole teaches all his friends about happiness during a special visit.

Scent #1, Bright Grenadine Thong and Candle Set

by Cosabella $50 Kanvas 823 Thomasville Road (850) 224-7467

Books by Carol Hair Moore ~ Illustrated by Michael Harrell Available in Museums, Book Stores and Gift Shops

www.iwishyouicecreamandcake.com

Antler Burr Ballerina Bracelet $118

by Chic Verte (local artist Lisa Phipps) Cole Couture 1240 Thomasville Road (850) 553-3327

Black Lace Dress $57 Flower Necklace $35 Abby & Taylor 6668-12 Thomasville Road Suite 12 (850) 765-6402

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Handmade Glass & Metal Kaleidoscope

by Bob Rubanowice $215 Signature Gallery 2782 Capital Circle NE (850) 297-2422

UNIQUE GIFTS

for you and your home

Home | Bridal Registry | Stationery and Invitations | Ladies Apparel, and more

The perfect gift for every occasion.

Barn Angel

By Connie & Val $69 Sweet Patina 2030 Thomasville Road (850) 727-4834

In the Pavilions ~ 1410 Market St. • Mon-Sat 10 a.m. - 6 p.m.

(850) 681-2824 • Toll-Free (800) 983-2266 • www.ShopMFT.com

Mugs, Muffins & Monograms

Metallic Chain Shoulder Slouchy

by Tory Burch $475 Narcissus 1408 Timberlane Road (850) 668-4807

A HOLIDAY OPEN HOUSE, DECEMBER 3-4 Hot Drinks, Cool Art, Great Gifts!

Other events throughout the month. For more details, visit

houseofchrysalis.com

1410 Market Street 850.224.2924 HouseofChrysalis.com Largest Selection of In-stock Decorator Fabrics in Tallahassee

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ST YLE&GR ACE

Forever

Young

By Michelle R. Nickens Photography by Kira Derryberry

“There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.”

–Sophia Loren

“A

ging agelessly? Is there any such thing?”

Calynne Hill, a local realtor, laughed. “You either are or, well, not. Women tend to play by the old rules. There are no rules. If you have pretty hair, wear it long. If you’ve got great legs, show them off. It doesn’t matter what age you are.”

When we are in our teens, twenties and even thirties, the thought of aging is probably not at the forefront of our minds. But, as we creep into our forties and beyond, the idea and concerns associated with aging rise. You may worry about your health, body, gray roots, declining energy or decreased self-esteem. However, you have the power to approach aging with a positive attitude and to embrace the wonderful YOU that you are no matter the age. Life is a journey—your journey.

Everyone’s heard, “You are only as old as you feel.”

It’s a mind-set. It’s not about how we look, but how 20 t a l l a h a s s e e

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Calynne Hill

55

Jane Marks

67

Linda Gardner

65

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ST YLE&GR ACE we feel. My aunt is in her seventies. Her motto is “Never stop moving.” She can outdance people decades younger than her.

She is fearless with her fashion and ready to go on a trip, go out to dinner or learn something new. She inspires me. There are some famous women who don’t seem to age at all. Christie Brinkley is 60 and looks stunning strutting down the beach.

Sandra Bullock is 50 and saunters the red carpet with grace. These and many other women are changing the way we view age.

I’m in my forties and I’ve heard people say, “Well, it only gets worse.” Or “Well, that happens when you age. Get used to it.” It was refreshing when I met Jane Marks, wife of former Tallahassee mayor John Marks, and a psychotherapist for the past 40 years. She’s also a Zumba instructor, and her passion and energy are infectious.

She said, “Don’t settle for that. Create change. Surround yourself with people that have the same positive spirit and attitude.

Keep your life rich with experiences.

You define what makes it rich.”

“Never run away from new experiences.

Being engaged gives you a sense of belonging, of being part of a bigger picture. Don’t isolate yourself.”

As Jane talked about her family, career, dancing and community involvement, it grew clear that she loves life. A strict vitamin regimen, regular exercise and eating healthy are all important components to her lifestyle. But, she also stressed, “Never run away from new experiences. Being engaged gives you a sense of belonging, of being part of a bigger picture. Don’t isolate yourself.” It is important to know and understand your limits, but seek opportunities to learn and grow.

Calynne agrees. “Constantly learn,” she said. “Take a cooking class. Challenge yourself. Get outside your comfort zone.

Meet new people.” Stress can also be a huge factor in aging us. Working to lower your stress through exercise, meditation, spa days, personal time, reading, whatever relaxes you—incorporate it into your life. Calynne performs a series of yoga stretches 15 minutes in the morning and again at night. She meditates at the same time. Finding balance in all things enables us to grow and evolve, while nourishing our spirit and our heart.

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Linda Gardner lives by four pillars—lifestyle, exercise, attitude and nutrition. Her energy and joyful outlook left me smiling as she said, “I don’t feel my age at all. It’s important to take care of yourself.

Surround yourself with positive people.” Being a former nurse and now a certified health coach, Linda explained that what we eat has a direct correlation on how we feel. “You have to fill the tank,” she said.

“If you are running on empty, you won’t be good for you or anyone else. Fill the tank with the right nutrients.” Calynne also stressed the importance of nutrition. She said, “I love to cook and have embraced the farm-to-table movement. There are so many healthy ways to eat.”

There is no miracle cure for aging. But by loving yourself, taking time for yourself, having a sense of humor, celebrating your accomplishments and embracing the ideas shared by these inspirational women, you’ll see a difference inside and out. As Linda said, “Growing older doesn’t mean you have to feel old. In my heart, I’m still that young woman that wants to have fun. I am comfortable with who I am right now and living a life of no regrets.”

Michelle Nickens is an author and blogger. Her novel, Precious little Secrets, is available at Amazon. Her wine blog—Wine Knows—is accessible via her website michellenickens.com.

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• D e c e m b e r 2014/J a n u a r y 2015 23

he a l thy l i v i ng

Turn Your Winter Blues Into Winter Wonder

By Nikki Clifton

T

he winter season brings the whirlwind of holidays, and within the excitement, the stress of planning family get-togethers isn’t far behind. As the days get shorter and the nights get colder, many find it emotionally difficult to deck the halls, turning “Happy Holidays!” into “bah-humbug.” “Winter blahs” are pretty common and relatively simple to kick.

A creamy mug of peppermint-flavored hot chocolate, neon-pink fuzzy socks and a marathon of your favorite comedy sketch makes the world right again.

For others, Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is the culprit for feeling down.

SAD is a type of depression that tends to occur (and recur) as the days grow shorter in the fall and winter. It is believed that affected people react adversely to the decreasing amounts of sunlight and the colder temperatures as the fall and winter progress. It is important to note that although SAD usually presents itself in the fall and winter, there are those who suffer from this condition during the summer.

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The Cleveland Clinic reports that “approximately one-half million of the U.S. population suffers from winter SAD, while 10 to 20 percent may suffer from a more mild form of winter blues—with threequarters of the sufferers being women.”

Take up a winter hobby

So what can you do to win during the winter and dial up well-being?

Pause and be thankful

Instead of hiding under a fortress of comforters until spring, try these four tips for beating mild winter blues.

Get outside

Soak up some sunlight. It feels good and also produces serotonin, the “moodlifting” chemical in the brain.

Stay social

Keep your standing appointment with your friends for a night out.

Your girlfriend’s story about the coworker’s front yard bonfire experiment may just be the laugh you need.

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Hiking, ice skating, winter photography and even planning a winter vacation are all great activities that can be done in the winter and will help you look forward to the season as opposed to dreading it.

Be still and identify something that makes you happy. The emotion of thankfulness instantly makes you feel better. Once you find one thing to feel good about usually, a few more follow.

Cultivate an attitude of gratitude.

With these few tips and your favorite scarf, you can turn winter into your own personal wonderland.

Nikki Clifton is a published author and journalist who is an advocate for women and children’s issues. Twitter: @nikkiclifton

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• D e c e m b e r 2014/J a n u a r y 2015 25

S P O R T S & F i tness

Stay Fit

This Winter Indoor Fitness

By Keasi Smith

I

t can be difficult to find the motivation to go on your morning run once the temperature outside drops. Luckily, you can still get an amazing workout in the comfort (and warmth) of your own home. One of the best ways to encourage working out is to incorporate props or exercise equipment into your workout. Props are not only fun but can help make the working out process easier and gentler on your body.

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BOSU-Ball

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BOSU, which stands for both sides utilized, is a great prop if you’re looking to make your exercise routine more challenging. By adding instability to your workout, the BOSU-Ball forces you to engage your core muscles while improving both stability and balance.

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Yoga Mat Yoga is a great indoor activity and the mat makes all the difference. Your yoga mat prevents you from slipping and helps you hold certain poses. A development in yoga mats is SmartMat, a mat that connects to your phone via Bluetooth to the SmartMat app. SmartMat does everything from tracking your progress to correcting your posture.

Kettlebells Kettlebells are great for working out the entire body. They help build strength and endurance while working out the lower back, legs and shoulders.

Paired with high-intensity cardio, they help keep muscles lean.

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R e a l L i fe

Cat-Calling: Harmless or Harassment?

By Keasi Smith

Y

ou’re walking down the street. Maybe you’re going to work, on your lunch break or at the park on your day off. A man yells out to you, “Hey baby!” or “Lookin’ good!” This experience and many variations of it are experiences many women have been through or witnessed.

In fact, according to the nonprofit organization Stop Street Harassment, 65 percent of women around the world have reported experiencing some sort of street harassment in their lifetime.

The subject of cat-calling, or the whistling, shouting or commenting of a sexual nature to a woman passing by, has been a national topic lately. Opinions on this topic vary

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from cat-calling as a harmless form of flattery, to cat-calling as an objectification of women and a gateway to physical harassment. Those who have publicly defended cat-calling are quoted as saying, “Let men be men.” Other women admit to enjoying cat-calls and some even wish they would get more attention while out and about. These acknowledged admissions bring up more questions and make the issue of cat-calling far broader than “men being men.” What does cat-calling and the need or satisfaction some women get from it, say? Surely everyone enjoys compliments from loved ones and personal friends, but should women be okay with gaining personal validation from strangers

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on the street? Does brushing off this kind of behavior as acceptable or even desirable send the message that all harassment is ok?

Those who insist cat-calling is an act of verbal harassment have found their voice through social media. A woman who we know only as “Lindsey” is one such woman. From Minneapolis, Minnesota, Lindsey experiences verbal harassment on her way to work almost daily. Fed up, she began recording her experiences as she calmly approached her cat-callers in an effort to hear their motives and rationale behind cat-calling. Many men said they just wanted her to know they thought she was beautiful. Others blamed her

work clothes for being too flattering. All were shocked that she did not find their comments flattering but that in fact, they made her feel unsafe and uncomfortable.

After going through these experiences, Lindsey created Cards Against Harassment (cardsagainstharassment. com), where women can print out cards to pass out to their cat-callers. For those who are unsure of how to deal with cat-calling, this is a nonabrasive way to get the point across to your cat-callers that you don’t enjoy their comments.

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All women are familiar with feelings of insecurity, but are whistles or a comment spurred by nothing more than sexual incitement conducive to women building their self-worth? Should we be okay with a self-worth that is based on how desirable we are to others? At times, cat-calling not only affects a woman’s self-worth but her behavior as well. In an effort to avoid cat-calling, women have changed walking routes, quit jobs and refused to walk alone or wear certain clothes.

In 2008, the Journal of Social Justice Research found that street harassment has also led to greater self-objectification, which can cause depression and anxiety.

With the national attention it has received lately, it is clear that many women are fed up with cat-callers and their uninvited comments. Regardless if a cat-caller means well or even if a woman being catcalled enjoys it, findings by the Journal of Social Justice Research show that catcalling affects the human psyche and can create inequality between men and women. While each cat-calling scenario depends greatly on context, the media spotlight on cat-calling has many acknowledging the possible effects of this type of social behavior on society and those personally afflicted.

Scan this page with your smartphone using the Layar app to see a video on cat-calling and a link to the printable Cards Against Harrassment. (See page 7 to learn how.)

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M y T i me

Home Alone (1990)

s e t i r o v a F e i Holiday Mov

, in gathering families beg n o ch a as at se w to ay r lid o r table e n in uring the ho d e th d ay spirit be aroun s in the holid u t whether that e g ly n o t e of year ay movies no what this tim s u d in movie. Holid m re u will feel together and ugh or cry, yo n. la u yo e but bring us ak m to the seaso hether they is all about. W zzy feeling that is unique d fu that warm an

h

By Keasi Smit

D

It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)

In this holiday classic, James Stewart plays George Bailey, a man who has big dreams but through a series of unlucky circumstances is never able to leave his hometown. On Christmas Eve, he learns his company is facing bankruptcy and takes his anger out on his wife and children before contemplating suicide. It takes an angel showing Bailey what life would have been like without him for a Christmas miracle to happen.

Elf (2003)

If you want to laugh this holiday season, watch this Christmas comedy starring Will Ferrell as Buddy. As a baby, Buddy crawls into Santa’s toy bag and is brought back to the North Pole, where he is raised as an elf. Too tall and out of place to fit in at the North Pole, Buddy goes to New York City to find his family. There he is met with cynics lacking the Christmas

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spirit. Using his elf ways, Buddy shows New York City and his new acquaintances the true meaning of Christmas.

Love Actually (2003)

If you’re in a romantic mood this holiday season, this is the movie for you. This starstudded cast includes big British names such as Hugh Grant, Keira Knightley, and Liam Neeson. Based in London, England, the movie follows separate but linked stories involving a variety of different kinds of love. The big climax is on Christmas Eve, when love brings everyone together for the holidays.

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989)

This third installment of the “National Lampoon” series revolves around the Griswold family and their in-laws. Clark W. Griswold, Jr., played by

• D e c e m b e r 2014/J a n u a r y 2015

Chevy Chase, is determined to have a “good old-fashioned family Christmas” but is met with a series of hilarious disasters, including a city-wide power outage, a disastrous Christmas Eve dinner and the SWAT team.

This holiday movie, now an ’80s classic, is full of laughs and holiday cheer.

This holiday film has become a favorite for kids. Kevin, played by Macaulay Culkin, is an eight-year-old boy who is being ridiculed by his siblings and cousins, who have gathered at his home for the holiday season. In anger, Kevin wishes his family would disappear. His wish is granted the next morning when after a power outage, the family wakes up late and chaotically rushes to the airport, forgetting Kevin at home as they fly off to Paris.

As his mother tries to find her way back home, Kevin is setting booby traps for the incompetent burglars trying to break into his home.

The Grinch (2000)

A Christmas Story (1983)

This holiday film is about a boy and his Christmas wish for a BB-gun. In desperation for his gun, nine-year-old Ralphie not only begs his parents, but writes a school essay about this special request, as well as asks the local department store Santa for help. Each time he is met with the same response, “You’ll shoot your eye out.” As he’s opening his gifts on Christmas day, his hopes dwindle. Will Ralphie get his BB gun, and if so, will he keep his eye?

This modern take on Dr. Seuss’ 1957 book stars Jim Carey as the green recluse who tries to ruin Christmas in Whoville.

After learning the tragic past of the Grinch, six-year-old Cindy Lou befriends him and invites him to a local gathering where he is poked fun at by the same bully he encountered as a schoolboy.

Thinking that Whos only celebrate Christmas for the gifts, the Grinch steals every gift in Whoville. It is when he hears their holiday singing on Christmas, despite their gifts being stolen, that he realizes the true meaning of Christmas.

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ONTHECOVER

The Journey of a Butterfly

By Heather Thomas Photography by Adam Cohen

Full of humor, tragedy and everything in-between, Prissy Elrod’s self-published memoir Far Outside the Ordinary, explores the depths of the human experience and the bonds that break cultural barriers and connect ordinary people together, turning the unexpected into extraordinary gifts of hope and love.

I

n her memoir, Far Outside the Ordinary, Prissy Elrod details the period of her life when she goes from an ordinary, Southern housewife and mother of two daughters (Garrett and Sara Britton), to being told that her 50-yearold husband Boone had less than a year to live after being diagnosed with brain cancer. Prissy is not one to give up without a fight, and she sought every traditional and untraditional method to save him and the life that they had built together. In the process, she is forced to confront her own weaknesses and rely on the help of AfricanAmerican caregivers who move into her home and become an important part of her transformation. The memoir also details Prissy’s second chance at love with her current husband Dale, and the forgiveness and renewal that helped heal her soul. We sat down with Prissy to hear her thoughts.

Why did you write the book?

Prissy: “I had to write it—I can’t even explain it since I never wanted to be a writer, but I knew I could help people with my story. I really didn’t think it would go any further than my friends and family. Everyone has lost someone and everyone suffers from something and I feel that this book gives people hope. I had a book launch party and 32 t a l l a h a s s e e

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afterward I never went to bed. It’s almost like you’re naked and you want to say, ‘hurry up and hand me some clothes!’

It could have gone a lot of ways since you never know what someone is going to say about it, but helping others is the compulsion that overrides the fear of feeling exposed.”

This book explores boundaries—the boundaries within ourselves and with people and circumstances that we invite into our lives or that come into our comfortable sphere and shake it up completely. I feel that the barrier between the author and the reader is taken away in the format of a memoir, but also because of your honest recounting. Do you feel that this is part of why the book has been so well-received?

Prissy: “I’ve gotten hundreds of letters and e-mails from people I don’t know who say, ‘I loved your characters and I felt I knew you, and knew them personally.’ I think the story broke the emotional barriers that people feel—anger and judgment—and introduced these wonderful caregivers they could identify with.”

“For a caterpillar to become a butterfly, it must change.” –Author Unknown

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ONTHECOVER In the memoir, two caregivers thought, ‘Yes, Boone has terminal ‘Yes, Boone has terminal cancer, but there move in to help Prissy with cancer, but there are miracles and the care of Boone, who had there are angels.’ It’s not about me, are miracles and there are angels.’ It’s become wheelchair bound. but about letting go of not about me, though, but about letting though, Despite their differences, Prissy, control and letting God be God.” Boone, their children and the go of control and letting God be God.” caregivers become a family There’s a yielding in any relationship and help one another in profound ways. and situation in which you are trying to find harmony and peace—a give and a take, his dignity back, and it was the greatest Prissy: “Even with the differences in their which is what readers watch you do, but you gift we ever received. I was humbled.” culture and our initial perceptions of each were struggling mightily to yield to anything other, none of that mattered when it comes The fear must have been overwhelming at first. Your humorous, frank voice and down to what life is really all about and ‘Prissyisms’ in the midst of tragedy seemed to during this time. How did you cope? what is most important. I’ve made my be a form of yielding to the circumstances, own mistakes and no one is perfect, and Prissy: “Well, chewing on that bone wasn’t but standing strong at the same time. we grew to love and respect each other. much sustenance for the body since I I think there are barriers also between Prissy: “I’ve always tried to be the funniest weighed 99 pounds because I was too how we are supposed to feel when we are one in the crowd since I want people to be anxious to eat—I could hardly swallow so a caregiver or in the process of losing a happy and not sad. I recently was told by I lived on Ensure. I coped by not thinking loved one. I think I was literally trying to a reader who had been through tragedy past the day and just lived life hour by be a barrier between Boone and death, that my book was what helped her to hour. I never really believed what they but I had to admit defeat and let him go, get up in the morning and keep going. told me about Boone, since I thought I which was really hard for me to do.”

Maybe readers see that if I can find some could fix it. People were wrong all the humor in tragic circumstances instead time and I didn’t care where their degree Your tenacity stands in stark contrast with of finding myself balled up on the floor, came from. We were going to win those your welcoming demeanor—a true steel then they can survive the impossible too. statistical odds. I had a strong faith and I magnolia, or as you say, ‘a bruised steel Humor is a part of what kept me going prayed endlessly, so why wouldn’t that be magnolia.’ I love how you mentioned in and gives me strength and perspective.” enough? Boone was catatonic with fear several areas of the book how you were like after the diagnosis and I sensed that he a “ dog with a bone, [you’ d] paw it, circle Forgiveness seems to be another significant gave up, so I was going to fight for him. I it and bury it. Later you’ d dig it up... theme in the memoir. really believe that when you give up, then then chew and chew on it, sometimes for a the fight is gone. You either have the fight long time.” That bone changed into many Prissy: “Part of my transformation is how I or the fear—you can’t have both. Fight is forms in your adult years, and of course had to learn to forgive myself for the wasted denial and you keep fighting the fear.” when you sought a cure for Boone, but the time that Boone and I could have enjoyed compulsion to keep gnawing at it never together. People have asked if I would do Was part of why you kept fighting due to did. How has this trait been beneficial as it all again the same way, particularly the your faith and your belief in angels? well as a source of some of your mistakes? way I handled Boone’s diagnosis. I’d like to believe I wouldn’t, but you can’t change who Prissy: “At the beginning of the memoir, Prissy: “It has always been a part of me you are, and when you love somebody, how before Boone’s diagnosis, I reference and kept me strong. However, the day can you sit back and not do something?” the near-fatal car accident of my oldest Du (Boone’s main caregiver) came into daughter, Garrett, in the chapter, ‘Wing our lives it had been nine months since Second chances seem to go hand-in-hand of Protection.’ She escaped unscathed Boone’s fatal diagnosis—thirty-eight weeks and no one could understand how. Later, with forgiveness for you. As you grieved for of dragging him on a treasure hunt and your husband’s loss, and in a sense, also the a man who saw the whole thing happen finding no treasures: surgery, radiation, loss of your identity, and overcoming guilt, from his front porch said he saw what foot soaks, medicine men, a scruffy port you started to explore what existed outside of looked to be a white angel wing extend inserter technician in a shady office in a those boundaries that had made up your life from the Jeep as it was tumbling. I back alley in Houston, Texas, an FDAwith Boone. You began a career working in changed after that day. My faith, already indicted physician and probably the the Governor’s office and entering the dating strong, was more profound and I had worst of the lot—the barbaric treatment scene and rediscovering who you are and who a gratifying belief in the impossible. It infused by me. I decided if I couldn’t you wanted to become. A second chance for wasn’t really a spiritual awakening, but control Boone’s life then I could control romance bloomed in the form of a letter in your more of a blind trust in miracles. From how he died. Du walked into our lives mailbox from Dale, a boyfriend from your that experience, it was confirmed that when we needed him most, giving Boone time as a student at Florida State University. there is a world we can’t see at work. I 34 t a l l a h a s s e e

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Prissy: “I explain in the book how Dale (Prissy’s current husband) and I dated in college and how that relationship ended. To have him come back again into my life gave me a second chance with love.”

Through a six-month period of letters and e-mails, a little like the movie, “You’ve Got Mail,” Prissy and Dale reunite in a quiet, but intense way as they started building a new relationship through the written word.

They both were sweetly vulnerable towards each other in prose as their relationship transformed from electronic correspondence to meeting in person at the end of the book, and taking a leap of faith on loving again.

Warm wishes for a joyous holiday season

Prissy: “Sometimes people will say, ‘well you found love again, but I didn’t.’ However, love doesn’t have to come from a human being—you can discover a love of painting, gardening, volunteering or writing—I started writing on my 60th birthday. I had to learn to love myself before I could love another again.”

How important was the Tallahassee community in this process?

Prissy: “They were and are a village—a family. The support was unbelievable…people I didn’t know were bringing us food. People would call to just come and sit with us. That’s what Tallahassee has that sets it apart from any other city—I’ve never seen a small town like this. The most beautiful moments of my life were spent surrounded by the Tallahassee community during that time.”

At the end of the memoir, it says, “To be continued.” Are you in the process of writing another book? Has there been any movie interest?

Prissy: “Yes, I am. Those wonderful, empathetic and eclectic caregivers come back into my life again. There might be movie interest. A screenwriter recently spent two days in Tallahassee. He met and interviewed some of the characters in the book and visited some of the places in the book. He opted to adapt the book for a movie. So, who knows? Tallahassee could be on the big screen in the near future.”

After reading your book, I gained a renewed energy for life and feel changed, much like that butterfly on the cover. It seems that with all the tears, the laughter, the tragedy and romance, it calls to our own yearning for hope, transformation and redemption. There doesn’t seem to be a category for your book. What category would you place it in?

Prissy: “A Prissy category! I’m just like the butterfly on my cover. I came full circle. I’m in a whole different world—starting a writing career after being a mother, wife, widow, and wife again. Age is irrelevant. If you want something you go for it, and I think that is what made my book work. I’m a ‘nobody’ who took a book that was in my head and started my own publishing company, which then started to get picked up by book clubs and social media outlets. I kept thinking this story is so extraordinary since I’m an ordinary person with this ordinary life who had these extraordinary circumstances—but who is ordinary? Aren’t we all in the middle of transforming? I want my story to provide hope to others and to help them know it’s OK to be stretched beyond their boundaries. It’ll be tough, sometimes tragic, but you are being changed into something you could never imagine for yourself, and it will be beautiful.”

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• D e c e m b e r 2014/J a n u a r y 2015 35

COMMUNITY

SNAPSHOT

A look at the events, organizations, businesses and people that make Tallahassee a great place to live—and love.

Using Art to Brighten Lives

Giving Women a Fresh New Start

M

patient, often placing a loved one in the taxing role of caregiver. Unfortunately, too many women have transitioned from being a caregiver to being a widow. One woman who understands this experience is LeAnne Gibbs.

any children and teenagers will be given the opportunity to create art through the new ART Town (Art, Resources and Training) created by the Boys Town of North Florida. Boys Town is an organization that has been serving children and families for over 30 years.

The organization works to reunite children with their families, find foster homes for others and create a Boys Town family for those who have nowhere else to go.

ART Town is a house that will allow these adolescents to work with local artists to create and display various kinds of art, as well as provide them with a quiet escape from the troubles they go through. Dena Strickland, Development Director of Boys Town North Florida, says, “Most of the children who will benefit from ART Town have never or have rarely been exposed to the arts and are a couple years behind in school. Having a place to receive the help they need will help them overcome the many obstacles they face every day.” The house will have a room where potential parents can go through the necessary training to begin the adoption process, another room that will be a gallery to present the children’s art and also a room for quiet time and relaxation.

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ew things can be as life-shattering as cancer. It affects more than just the

the children wanted to build a shed on campus so they would have a place to continue doing so. Dena hopes that through this program, “ART Town will become an incredible asset to our community, especially for at-risk kids and their families. It will provide these children and families with opportunities to engage in the arts and be a resource for tutoring and mentoring. It also will provide a therapeutic environment for quality foster parent training. This will be a place of selfexpression and development for children.

Through the arts, there is no right way or wrong way—only their way, and our children will begin to discover, enjoy and care about who they are.”

Boys Town hopes to have the house in full use by the summer of 2015. Members of the community can help by donating online through the Boys Town website at boystown.org/donate.

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LeAnne was 33 years old when her husband Francis passed away after battling cancer for a year. Before his death, Francis urged his wife to take a vacation with some of her girlfriends to refresh and renew herself as she started a life without him. LeAnne states, “He was making sure that I was taken care of after he was gone and that I was in a position to take care of that which we loved most—[their children] Couper and Riley. I had been a caregiver for so long that I needed a break. He may have recognized this more clearly than I did, but deep down I knew I needed to refresh after such a long, difficult period of caregiving.”

Going to Florence, Italy, with a few close friends ended up being exactly what LeAnne needed. She was able to rediscover herself after spending so much time as a caregiver, and now had to face life in a new way. She says of this vacation, “I found small pieces of what makes me who I am in places all over Florence and through building closer friendships with some amazing women in my life. What I found was the ‘me’ I am afraid I would have lost completely if I waited much longer to fulfill Francis’s wish. And thankfully, that is the ‘me’ who flew home.”

Inspired from her trip, LeAnne used her experience to create Fresh New Start, a non-profit organization that looks to provide support to cancer widows in a variety of ways. Through Fresh New Start, widows can be connected to a network of women who have gone through struggles similar to theirs. The organization also provides resources through experts who can help in areas such as grief counseling, financial matters, single parenting and relationships.

Visual Perfection P A I N T I N G

We live up to our name!

Joseph J. Di Marco

850-544-2712

Stemming from the wish LeAnne’s husband had for her, Fresh New Start offers first-year cancer widows an all-expensepaid getaway retreat. Those who go on the vacation can also take three girlfriends, and it is encouraged that the girlfriends not be family members. In addition, this is meant to be a retreat for the widow, so no children are allowed. This is to ensure that the experience is as stress-free as possible. A woman may be nominated by someone else or she can nominate herself, and all nominees will be contacted by the organization. Fresh New Start “ultimately endeavors to redeem the cancer experience and death of the young widow’s spouse by supporting and encouraging her on her widowhood journey because no young cancer widow should ever feel alone.”

For more information about Fresh New Start, visit freshnewstart.org.

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C o M M U N I T Y | W h a t W omen S hou l d K N O W

The Alzheimer’s Project: Providing Relief to Those Who Have Forgotten According to the Alzheimer’s Association, there are 5 million people aged 65 or older in the United States suffering from Alzheimer’s disease. That number is likely to go up in the coming years as the Baby Boomer generation gets older. With no cure available, the Tallahassee-area organization Alzheimer’s Project Inc. has been focused on improving the quality of life for those diagnosed and for their caregivers.

Services include respite services where caregivers can leave their loved ones at a safe location for up to 6 hours in order to rest, go grocery shopping or take care of themselves. Jessica Duncan, Marketing Director for the Alzheimer’s Project, says, “We focus on the caregivers

Tips and Advice For Those Affected:

because we know how hard it is on them. They need time to have a break; they need training and counseling.”

There are also proactive rescue programs to service those with Alzheimer’s, memory disorders, Down syndrome or autism.

Started by the Pilot Club of Tallahassee and the Leon County Sheriff’s Office, the Alzheimer’s Project has a national success rate of 98 percent of finding a person within 1 to 2 hours. Other services include counseling, educational programs, and information and referrals. “One thing that I want people to know is that all our services are completely free. All of the money that we receive through donations, grants and fundraisers stays local to serve the Big Bend area,” says Jessica.

For more information, visit the Alzheimer’s Project online at the website alzheimersproject.org or call (850) 386-2778.

• When a patient will not speak, often music, being one of the last memories to leave them, can bring back their voice.

• Limit environmental noises such as television, radio or voices.

• Avoid denying hallucinations.

• Activities such as music therapy and physical exercise can help reduce boredom and the lack of stimulation that can cause wandering.

• Keep surroundings as familiar as possible. Follow the same routine each day.

• The first time a patient attends day care or is introduced to a new respite worker, stay with him/her to make them more comfortable.

JANUARY 31ST at the Moon An over-the-top purple extravaganza to benefit Alzheimer’s Project, Inc.

Purple runway, appetizers, live music, costume contest, silent auction All proceeds go to keeping the services offered by Alzheimer’s Project completely free of charge to clients

For more information, please call

850-386-2778

or email jessica@alzheimersproject.org

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A Special SPONSOR section

C o M M U N I T Y | W h a t W omen S hou l d K N O W

FROM “TAKE THE WATERS” TO “DAY SPA LIFESTYLE”

By Mary Fannin

The earliest version of spas as we know it today occurred in the days of the Greek and Roman civilizations, when women would travel to healing, warm springs to restore their health and well-being. This was referred to as “taking the waters.”

This practice continued through the early eighteenth century.

In the latter part of the eighteenth century and into the nineteenth century, spas expanded to include luxurious and extravagant bathhouses with multiple services provided by attendants. Wealthy patrons would spend weeks at a time in these environments in order to experience healing, relaxation and tranquility.

The spa concept evolved considerably into the 20th century.

People no longer have to travel to special springs, but instead can utilize Day Spas as an affordable option close to their homes. Water treatments utilize special mineral salts and muds instead of “taking the waters.” In addition, multiple services, such as massage, facials and pedicures are typically available.

Chelsea, which has eight treatment rooms and ten service providers, is the largest Day Spa in the local area. Chelsea has

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taken the traditional Day Spa concept to the next level. The caring staff help clients achieve this level known as a “Day Spa Lifestyle.” Lifestyle is the feeling you get listening to your favorite music, the comfort you feel from a special book, or enjoying the candle that emits a soothing scent. Our clients are finding comfort through not only the service providers’ skill, but through their caring attitudes. Our goal is to have this experience of “Day Spa Lifestyle” continue through our clients’ daily lives.

www.chelseasalon.com

For more information on Chelsea’s, visit online at the website chelseasalon.com or call (850) 878-8282.

lifestyle salon and spa

Experience Aveda at Chelsea where Beauty is a Lifestyle.

We are Tallahassee's largest AVEDA Lifestyle Spa and Salon.

Our team of more than 40 professionals includes hair talent, nail specialists, makeup artists, estheticians, massage therapists and of course our Customer Service Team.

Education is at the heart of everything we do at Chelsea. We offer our team In House education as well as AVEDA Advanced Seminars. This focus has kept Chelsea on the cutting edge, of wearable fashions for hair and health oriented spa treatments.

A Special SPONSOR section

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COMMUNIT Y

haute

HAPPENINGS Downtown New Year's Eve Celebration December 31, 2014 | Kleman Plaza

Get your family and friends and head downtown to celebrate at the annual street party in downtown Tallahassee, featuring musical acts, food, a kid’s party zone and a fireworks show at midnight. For more information, visit downtowntallahasseenewyearseve.com.

Holiday Lights at Dorothy B. Oven Park Through January 2014

Come enjoy the beautiful holiday lights at Dorothy B. Oven Park. The park is transformed into a brilliant display of lights that will remain up until January.

Free and open to the public nightly and driving through is permitted as well.

2014 Annual Holiday Show Through December 31, 2014 LeMoyne Center for the Visual Arts

Right after Thanksgiving, LeMoyne will be offering a gallery of locally made holiday artwork. Come support local art and purchase your holiday gifts at LeMoyne. Tickets are $3 for individuals, $7 for families/groups and free for LeMoyne members and children under 12. More information is available online at lemoyne.org.

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26th Annual Camellia Christmas

December 5, 2014 Alfred B. Maclay Gardens State Park From 6 p.m. to 9 p.m., Camellia Christmas offers the opportunity to walk along candlelit paths and listen to local musicians perform holiday music. Visitors can enjoy hot cider and cookies while waiting for Santa to arrive. The historic Maclay House will be open and filled with lovely fresh arrangements created by local Garden Club Flower Show judges and will remain open throughout the weekend from 9 a.m. until 5 p.m. on Saturday and Sunday. Guests can also bid on festive holiday wreaths and decorations donated by local merchants to benefit the State Park. The event is free to the public with donations gladly accepted.

More information is available online at floridastateparks.org/maclaygardens.

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Downtown Winter Festival December 6, 2014 Downtown Tallahassee

Come enjoy this annual Tallahassee event from 3 p.m to 10 p.m. The event is held all over downtown, and this year’s theme is Peppermints, Penguins and Poinsettias. There will be a lighting ceremony, the Jingle Bell Run, a nighttime holiday parade, local food and many activities for children to participate in. More information can be found at talgov.com/parks.

Holiday Open House December 6, 2014 Knott House Museum

From 6 p.m. to 9 p.m., enjoy beautiful decorations, hot cider and cookies while experiencing a piece of Tallahassee history.

Festive holiday music is presented by Frets and Strings, the Leon High School classical guitar group. Admission is free and donations are accepted. For more information, call (850) 922-2459.

49th Annual Market Days December 6–7, 2014 North Florida Fairgrounds

Don’t miss out on one of the area’s largest arts and craft shows this year, when 300 artists from all over the country will have their work on display. This fundraiser for the Tallahassee Museum will give you the opportunity to purchase affordable and unique holiday gifts. For more information, call (850) 575-8684 or visit the website at tallahasseemuseum.org/marketdays.

Alternative Christmas Market December 6–7, 2014 John Wesley United Methodist Church

On Saturday from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. and Sunday from 1 p.m to 4 p.m. come shop at the Alternative Christmas Market. This unique shopping experience will allow you to get a special gift for everyone on your list while also helping local and global charities. In addition to handcrafted tangible gifts, you can purchase services to those in need in honor of the gift recipient. When you’re finished shopping, you write one check and then proceed to the calligraphy station to have your gift cards hand-lettered, ready for you to put under your tree or mail to the recipient. It couldn’t be easier or more in keeping with the season!

SHOPPING FOR A

Great REALTOR? Caroline Brewster

Keller Williams Town & Country Realty 1520 Killearn Center Blvd 32309 Office: 850-201-4663 Cell: 850-274-3162 Email: CarolineBrewster@kw.com

www.CarolineBrewster.YourKWAgent.com

28th Annual Victorian Christmas December 11–12, 2014 Downtown Thomasville, GA

From 6 p.m. to 10 p.m., Historic Downtown Thomasville becomes an unforgettable journey back in time to 1890, with horse-drawn carriages, strolling carolers, holiday shopping, dancers, musicians, food and holiday delicacies and, of course, St. Nicholas. For information, call (229) 228-7977 or visit thomasvillega.com.

LET’S FIND A BEAUTIFUL PLACE TO GET LOST from denim to lace and everything in between…

1240 THOMASVILLE ROAD | COLECOUTURE.COM (850)553-3327

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C O M M U N I T Y | h a ute h a p p en i ngs ADVANCED DERMAL

S O LU T I O N S HOLIDAY ESSENTIALS Facial, Chemical Peel Botox and Fillers Eye Lash Extensions Information and online booking at

www.advdermal.com

Holiday Magic!

Proof

The Tallahassee Symphony Orchestra’s Christmas concert will be an evening full of uplifting music. This year, the timeless classics will be combined with new favorites that will be sure to get you in the holiday spirit. Ticket prices vary and can be ordered online at tallahasseesymphony.org.

Come see Proof, the play that won the 2001 Pulitzer Prize and the Tony Award for Best Musical, performed right here in Tallahassee. The play is about a daughter’s struggle caring for her father, who suffers from mental illness later in his life. Tickets are $12 general admission.

For more information, call (850) 2248474 or go to theatretallahassee.org.

December 19–20, 2014 Ruby Diamond Auditorium

Elegance and Elation January 10, 2015 Ruby Diamond Auditorium

Starting at 8 p.m., the Tallahassee Symphony Orchestra will feature soloist Lisa Smirnova on the piano. The orchestra will perform pieces from Mozart and Beethoven for an evening full of beautiful classical music.

Ticket prices vary from $10 to $55 and can be ordered online at tallahasseesymphony.org.

Advanced Dermal Solutions 3116 Capital Circle, NE, Suite 5 at Hermitage Blvd.

(850) 906-9900

Like us on Facebook for weekly specials.

January 16 – February 1, 2015 Theatre Tallahassee

GWTC 30K/15K January 17, 2015 9002 Bradley Road

Start off the New Year by partaking in this popular distance running event. The race begins at 8 a.m. and takes runners along the beautiful Old Centerville Road underneath a canopy of oaks. Refreshments will be served after the race. For more information, visit gulfwinds.org or call (850) 591-0081.

Creative Conversations: Humor in Performance

WEALTH MANAGEMENT INVESTMENT BANKING Customized, Sophisticated Service To schedule a one-on-one consultation, please visit AMBWealth.com or contact 850.765.3393.

DISCOVER THE DIFFERENCE. Kimberly Dixon | Vice President Kim.Dixon@AMBWealth.com Wealth Management Services offered through Allen Mooney Barnes Investment Advisors, LLC. Securities offered through Allen Mooney Barnes Brokerage Services LLC. Member FINRA/SIPC.

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January 27, 2015 FSU Alumni Center, Grand Ballroom From 6:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m., Opening Nights’ new series, Creative Conversations, pulls back the stage curtain and explores topics in the arts. Come face to face with musicians, actors, technicians, dancers, choreographers, authors and educators.

From moderated Q&A sessions to panel discussions, dive into topics relevant in the 2014–2015 season. All events are free and open to the public. For more information, call (850) 644-3612.

AROUNDTOWN Events • Benefits • Activities

WWMB Networking

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The Women Who Mean Business Community hosted their first luncheon where local businesswomen gathered not only to network but to support and inspire one another. The event included lunch, vendor tables and a lesson from keynote speaker Karen Moore, CEO of Moore Communications Group, on the basics of networking.

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1. Kelly Cason, Vanessa Flectcher, Canita Gunter Peterson 2. Kim Rosier, Karen Moore, Heather Thomas 3. Kelli Spears, Jessica Duncan, Heather Cash, Missy Whiddon 4. Lisa Elam, Becky Liner 5. Garnett Stokes, Deanna A. Mims 6. Darcie Morningstar, Arden Miller, Taryn Griffin, Courtney Harrison 7. Lynne Edwards, Kathy Ciarlariell, Lori Hill 8. Jen Shmidt, Annelise Triana, Kavisha McCranie 9. Renee McNeill, Christie Powis, Alicia Holmes, Kate McElreath t a l l a h a s s e e wo m a n

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Cards for a Cure

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The 9th annual Cards for a Cure was hosted at the Tallahassee Automobile Museum. The event was filled with live entertainment, silent and live auctions and, of course, many fun card games. Proceeds benefitted the Tallahassee Memorial Cancer Center and Cancer Programs.

1. Megan Sgan, Jamie Stafford, Diana Cureton 2. Nick Darvill, Amanda Darvill, Arden Fernandez, Ned Fernandez 3. Keith Cooksy, Krista Cambell, Meghan Mccauley, Brian Showman 4. Chase Dickson, April Dean, Carlton Dean 5. Willette Holmes, Sonia Lee, Rachel Jones, Haley Barber, Demi Smith 6. Mark Marcewicz, Darlene Marcewicz, Cori Frerichs, Tim Frerichs 7. Laura Burelson, Michelle Torregrosa 8. Audra Peoples, Tabitha Frazier 9. Kathy Giffin Brooks, Mike Giffin 10. Claudette Jackson, Richard Jackson, Ashley Rivest 11. Kelly Hutchinson, Tami Frankland 12. Glenda Thornton, Kelvin Thornton

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Grace Mission

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The 5th Annual Evening of Grace to benefit Grace Mission was held at the FSU Alumni Center.

An outreach mission of the Episcopal Diocese of Florida, Grace Mission has served the poor, homeless and children for seventeen years.

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1. Jenny Blalock, Rev. Amanda Nickles 2. Nancye Rubin, Corinne Johnston 3. Judy Shipman. Mtr. Teri Monica of Holy Comforter 4. Joan Macmillan, Tammy Brown 5. Shirley Ellis and Renee Henry 6. Ines Stillings 7. Jackie Watts, Karen Henderson 8. Rhonda Laing, Bonnie McHugh, Julie Woodworth

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Swing Dancing

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The Knott House Museum hosted their annual Swing Dancin’ in the Street, 1940s-style block party. The event, sponsored by Friends of the Museums of Florida History, featured music by the Tallahassee Swing Band. The event included free dance lessons, a tour of the Knott House and plenty of dancing.

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Photos provided by: Shutter Pop Photo

The Children’s Home Society’s annual fall fundraiser brought together community leaders and local child advocates. The event was held at Dover Farm and celebrated all things Southern. Over $90,000 was raised through sponsorships, a skeet shoot and bourbon tasting pre-event, silent and live auctions and gifts of love. Over 4,300 children in the Big Bend will be impacted by the generous contributions of the community.

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1. Brooke Spicer, Rachel Amy, Elizabeth Moya, Michel Gregory 2. Audra Pittman, Sean Pittman 3. Senator Bill Montford, Jane Montford 4. Craig Miller, Jill Chandler, Bert Chandler, Henry Holley, Gib Chandler, Bridget Chandler, Ginny Chandler Weeks, Bill Rayner 5. Emily Ely, Tricia Montgomery, Tracy Reavis, Betsy Couch 6. Opal Williams, Representative Alan Williams 4.

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1. Deborah Frank, Michael Schroeder, Jenny Frasure 2. Ann Blake, Ian MacDonald 3. Mary Trammell, Hannah Cake, Caroline Barr 4. Marie Stuhlmuller, Ryan Swartz, Sarah Swartz, Luke Remillard, Ashley Chandler, Carolanne Hines 5. Peggy Winship, Lee Mortimer, Kiran Misal, Karin Setzer 6. Tiona Cage, Eli Helms, Jocelyn Vaughn 7. Patti Sanzone, Barbra Thurston-Pagni

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MOULIN ROUGE STYLE

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LADIES NIGHT DRESS FOR SUCCESS TALLAHASSEE IS THANKFUL FOR OUR LADIES NIGHT SPONSORS!

Cherry Blow Dry Bar; Walter Green; Tallahassee Ultimate Gaming; Edit by Virginia; Southern Compass Outfitters; G5 Engineering; Priscilla Tharpe, LLC Realtor; Metz, Husband and Daughton, PA; Kanvas; Uncle Maddio’s Pizza Joint; Bedfellows; Mainline Information Systems, Inc.; Myst Me Spray Tanning; WCTV; Amy Nation, Rodan + Fields; Target Copy; Queen of Hearts Fitness Studio; Kay Meyer Photography; Mako Valet; Pro Limos; FSU Acabelles; Photo Fun Booth; Jersey Mike’s; Crowning Touch; Cole Couture; fab’rik; Diane Dove, Silpada Stylist; Top Hat Limo & Sedan Service; Tallahassee Live!; Rian Meadows; Wilson Carlile

i f t

instagram.com/DFStally facebook.com/DFStally twitter.com/DFStally

dressforsuccess.org/tallahassee

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COMMUNIT Y | AROUNDTOWN

Dress for Success Ladies Night Out

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Dress for Success hosted a Moulin Rouge Ladies Night at Mint Lounge. The event included gourmet food, champagne, raffles and great entertainment.

Proceeds from the night benefited the Dress for Success charity.

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1. Courtney Heidelberg, Sara Sowerby, Christina Johnson, Heather DiGiacomo, Carrie Fraser 2. Sally Burnside, Ana Marty 3. Pam Ridley, Lanetra Bennett, Brooke Bennett, Marilyn Smith 4. Cathy Ferris, Erica Bass, Stacy Hartmann 5. Nicole Koski, Taryn Griffin, Kelly Reichelderfer, Kendall Maxwell 6. Tiffany Vause, Meghan Brown, Cameron Ulrich, Allison Kinney, Caroline Hudson, Elizabeth Boyd 7. Laura Bryant, Farra Noel, Karen Kasper, Virginia Bell, Megan Fuhrmeister, Eva Fernandez t a l l a h a s s e e wo m a n

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Debra Harris

is reaching out and giving back

By Amy J. Hartman

D

ebra Harris is no stranger to adversity. Growing up in New Orleans, Louisiana, she and her four siblings were taken from their mentally ill mother and placed in foster care when Debra, the oldest, was just eight years old. The children spent more than a year in foster care before custody was awarded to their maternal great-grandmother. It should have been a happy time, but Debra and her siblings endured years of physical and mental abuse before finally being returned to their mother.

For two years, Debra was once again part of a poor yet happy family, but when her mother stopped taking her medication, Debra and her siblings were split up again. Debra moved in with her aunt and finished high school, becoming pregnant shortly thereafter. The baby’s father stayed around but rarely held a steady job. The couple had a second child. Despite being the family’s sole supporter, Debra refused to go on welfare. “I didn’t want to be a statistic,” she says. For herself and for her children, Debra wanted more.

She ultimately married the father of her children, but it was not a happy union. He’d turned to drugs and was abusive. Debra worked even harder to pull her family out of poverty. When she was finally promoted to a management position and given a raise, she discovered she was no longer eligible for food stamps. Debra was stricken by what she saw as the unfairness of a system that rewarded those that gave up and penalized those struggling to get out of the cycle of government assistance.

Debra finally left her first husband and married Perry Harris, her husband of 24 years. With Perry’s loving support, Debra went to school to become a medical assistant, working full-time all the while. The pair had two children together and shortly thereafter took in one of Debra’s aunt’s children as well.

The growing family moved to Tallahassee in 1999.

Debra got a job working in the lab at Tallahassee Memorial HealthCare, a full-time position she

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maintains today, working 10-hour shifts, eight days on and six days off. With her family provided for, Debra started thinking about how to give back. Foster parenting seemed an obvious choice. Intending to foster only one child, the first call Debra received was about three sisters.

Recalling her own childhood, Debra couldn’t say no. The Harris’s immediately fell in love with the 6-, 5-, and 4-yearold girls, legally adopting all three.

Despite the many blessings in her life, Debra still felt as if something was missing.

She started laying the groundwork for a group home. She found a suitable house and, with the help of Kenna Bridges, organized a Board of Directors. She and Perry worked tirelessly to prepare the space that would fit as many as five residents at a time—the Making Miracles Group Home (MMGH) was born. Debra’s vision was to help the women become selfsufficient to take care of their families.

Since 2010, MMGH has helped more than 25 women, either pregnant or with a

“As educated women, we have to equip our children to succeed in the future. We need to help those that are trying to improve.” child under the age of one, move up and move out. Many of the women have been in foster care or on welfare. Most have endured some type of abuse. All want a better life for themselves and their babies.

Referencing Titus Chapter 2, Debra says, “As educated women, we have to equip our children to succeed in the future. We need to help those that are trying to improve.”

Until 2012, Debra and Perry ran MMGH without outside financial help.

Today, still running on a shoestring budget, MMGH relies on donations, volunteers and the prayers and support of Canopy Roads Baptist Church and other local congregations to keep the home running. For the women served

by MMGH, the home is a fresh start and a chance to become independent. For Debra, it is the realization of one more dream on a long road of giving back.

MMGH will be hosting a 1970s-themed dance and silent auction on January 31. For more information, visit makingmiraclesgrouphome.org or at facebook.com/MakingMiraclesGH.

Amy J. Hartman is a mother, wife, mentor, ardent volunteer, freelance writer and substitute teacher. She has lived in Tallahassee since 1995.

What does it mean for you to live well?

Planning Early About Care at the End

a Program of Big Bend Hospice

PEACE is a program of Big Bend Hospice to help people express in writing their wishes for end-of-life health care.

A PEACE representative can help initiate an ongoing discussion that focuses on issues like: • who you want to speak for you in the event you cannot speak for yourself.

• what treatments you want and do not want if you are no longer able to speak for yourself.

• how you would like to be remembered by those who matter most.

These desires are captured on a document like Five Wishes and a reliable system is set in place to ensure the document is available as needed.

If you would like to schedule a one-on-one meeting with a trained facilitator or have a PEACE representative come and speak with your church or organization, call 850.878.5310.

This is a free service of Big Bend Hospice.

1723 Mahan Center Blvd., Tallahassee, FL 32308 850.878.5310 • www.bigbendhospice.org

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Annette Pitts, Executive Director of the Florida Law Related Education Association, has received the Sandra Day O’Connor Advancements in Civic Education Award. She has developed many law education programs and designed the Justice Teaching Institute, which has been around for 18 years serving Florida educators.

Dr. Elisabeth Aponte has joined the practice of Palmer Eye Center as a new glaucoma specialist who trained at the Cleveland Clinic, Mayo Clinic and University of Iowa.

Dr. Aponte also has traveled extensively to the Dominican Republic and Haiti as a missionary ophthalmic surgeon.

Pastry Chef Megan Newsome-Rogers has partnered with the local eatery Soup Swift to offer her refined home style cakes and decadent pastries to our area. She will be hosting the cafe’s High Tea, which will feature traditional European accompaniments, including sweet and savory choices. Megan is a native of Tallahassee with over 10 years of baking experience.

Rebekah Dorn, Ph.D., received her Doctorate in Instructional Systems this past spring and was recently promoted to Assistant Director of Florida State University’s Information Technology Services department. Rebekah is also currently serving as the 2014–2015 President of the Junior League of Tallahassee.

Angela R. Morrison has opened her own firm, Morrison Environmental Law, where she will continue to develop her practice after 24 years with Hopping Green & Sams. She also serves as Editor in Chief of Trends magazine.

Tena Pate has been reappointed by Governor Rick Scott and members of the Cabinet to serve her third two-year term as Chair of the Florida Commission on Offender Review. Tena has over 30 years of experience working in the criminal justice field.

Rhett DeVane won the Florida Author and Publisher Association President’s Award for her novel Suicide Supper Club. Rhett is a dental hygienist and novelist in Tallahassee. Her Southern novels are set in Chattahoochee and Tallahassee.

Audrey Sweet has recently opened up Sucré Beauty Bar in Killearn, offering services such as color, cuts, and special-event hair and makeup. Also located in the new location is Shannon Moninger of Butterfly Kisses, a lash extension and waxing studio.

Lily Etemadi was recently selected to be in the new Leadership Tallahassee Class 32. Lily works as a Meeting and Events Planner for VISIT FLORIDA. In addition, she serves on the Board of Directors of the Boys & Girls Club of the Big Bend and is actively serving on the Junior League of Tallahassee Sustainer Committee.

Kelly To was recently named Ms. Corporate America, a pageant designed to recognize and honor professional achievements and community service contributions of dynamic women. Kelly is the Director of Labor & Productivity Management for Hospital Corporation of America (HCA).

Gwen Cooper Williams was selected to receive a custom-designed smile makeover from Dr. Thomas E. Oppenheim of Oppenheim Signature Smiles. Gwen was selected for her unselfish service to the community despite limited material resources. A single mother, Gwen worked and simultaneously attended college and earned her degree in preparation for her current role as a victim’s advocate.

Monica Demott, R.N., was recently named the Jean McCully We Care Network R.N. Program Coordinator for the Capital Medical Society Foundation We Care Network, a program made up of over 315 volunteer physicians, 45 volunteer dentists, TMH and CRMC and allied health professionals in Tallahassee who donate over $5 million in medical and dental care to low-income, uninsured residents.

Send us your announcement: Women to Watch is a listing of women with new jobs or promotions, business openings and celebrations and awards and appointments who are reaching out and making a difference in our community.

E-mail information and a high-resolution image (300 dpi) for Women to Watch to listings@TalWoman.com.

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Happy Holidays from

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B us i ness & C a reer

BFF or Best Frenemies Does Friendship Work for Work?

By Amy J. Hartman

M

any a lifelong friendship has taken root around the water cooler. But what happens when the friendship came first? It’s only natural to want to work with people we like, but doing business with a friend can strain a relationship to the breaking point. So how do you get the job done and keep your BFF too? Here are a few tips for keeping your friendship (and your business) alive.

• Be honest about your own skill set—and your friend’s too. Working with a friend may sound great, but the reality can be more of a challenge.

Don’t oversell yourself or your friend.

Be honest about your expectations and what you’re both capable of. Never be afraid to admit that the tasks required are outside your realm of experience.

Also, don’t sugarcoat your management style either.

• Get it in writing. Once upon a

time, a handshake was as binding as a signed contract. No more. Whether it’s a contract, a nondisclosure agreement or a non-compete, don’t skip the paperwork just because you’ve been friends forever.

In the best-case scenario, the signed

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pages will sit in a drawer, never to see the light of day. But if things go haywire, you’ll be glad you were a stickler for formality.

• Strive to go above and beyond, but don’t expect a medal. Whether you’re starting a new business together or working on the same team at the office, chances are you have different skill sets. Each person should focus on her areas of expertise. Do your part to the best of your ability. You might think working with a friend will be easy, but be prepared to step up your game so as not to disappoint. As long as you’re both working hard to meet the needs of the working relationship, don’t keep score.

Keep the end goal in mind at all times.

If she’s a true friend, you may have her back today, but she’ll have yours tomorrow.

• Know when to say when. If your

working relationship isn’t working, don’t be afraid to say so. Address issues and concerns as they arise. Don’t save up a laundry list of complaints and never take the passive-aggressive route of telling other people you both know about your

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friend’s failings at work. Tough love that is honest and direct may lead to a few uncomfortable days at the office, but a failed business venture or shared project can be a relationship killer.

• When in doubt, leave it out.

Sometimes the best working relationship is the one that never got off the ground.

Whether you’re hiring a professional or an employee or simply trying to help a friend get a job at your workplace, trust your gut. If you doubt whether your friendship can handle an added layer of stress, find creative ways to avoid the situation. Refer your friend to another company or recommend another qualified professional in your stead.

Remember, a good girlfriend will always be honest with you, no matter if it’s about a boyfriend, an outfit or a job.

Amy J. Hartman is a mother, wife, mentor, ardent volunteer, freelance writer and substitute teacher. She has lived in Tallahassee since 1995.

BEST MONEY RESOLUTIONS

money t a l k s AVAILABLE NOW

By Barbara Pople

I

n today’s environment, we are responsible for our own financial well-being. Benefits from social security are minimal, and gone are the days when employer-provided pension plans were the norm. We must take ownership of our own financial security.

No one has infinite wealth. The total amount of money available to each one of us stems from employment income plus investments.

Consequently, carefully balancing spending money on current needs with saving for the future is paramount.

While this balancing act is no easy feat and requires a carefully thought-out strategy, please know that finance is not rocket science.

Today’s sensationalized reporting makes money-related matters seem more complicated than they are. Yes, you should have some money knowledge, but any lack thereof can be supplemented by a professional. However, do your due diligence prior to hiring someone to help you with your financial strategy. Included should be your understanding of each professional’s obligation to you and how he/she gets paid.

So, turn off the talking heads, put aside the financial magazines and devise a strategy that fits YOU. It should start with your budget, balance sheet, reality and goals. It should be grounded in logic. Once the strategy is in place, it will take your commitment to implement it.

Each strategy is unique, but below are some suggested resolutions you may want to consider adopting for 2015:

If you currently have

• Virtually no financial security:

• I resolve to increase my income and/or decrease my expenses.

You need to “dig yourself out of the hole.”

• I resolve to reduce my debt. Any interest you pay to someone else does not go into your own pocket.

• I resolve to save for emergency expenses. Be prepared for any emergencies that take money to resolve.

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• Some financial security:

• I resolve to increase my savings. Provide for your own retirement.

• I resolve to pay off my debt. Remember, interest you pay goes into someone else’s pocket.

• I resolve to evaluate and choose investment options. Try to increase your investment returns at an appropriate level of risk.

• Very near financial security:

• I resolve to review my investments. Each investment should serve a defined purpose and not exceed your appropriate level of risk.

• I resolve to create an estate plan. Ensure that your wealth is distributed according to your wishes and minimize tax expense.

• I resolve to financially support my grandchildren’s education.

Make this world a better place with your money resolutions.

Barbara Pople, CPA, CFP®, CDFATM (850)383-1907 • 1382 Timberlane Rd., Suite B

www.poplefinancial.com

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H O me & G a rden

Personalize Your At-Home Party

By Keasi Smith

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C

hristmas, Hanukkah, birthdays, anniversaries and New Year’s—there are so many reasons to host a celebration this season in the comfort of your own home or backyard. We’ve all used party store decorations, but here are some ways to give your gathering a personal touch.

Outside Sign/Mailbox Décor

Grab your guests’ attention with a sign in the front yard.

You can easily create your own with a piece of wood, letter stencils and paint. Also, decorating your mailbox with ribbon and decorative plants will get your guests in the spirit.

Personalized Napkins

Not only can you order personalized napkins online, but with fabric markers and your choice of stencils you can personalize your fabric napkins for your event.

Put a Name on It

Ever forget whose glass is whose at these gatherings? You can decorate each glass stem with a different holiday decoration for every guest. Or you can print out pretty glass markers online or even use glitter stickers. For something more permanent, you can use stencils and glass-etching cream to mark each glass.

Dress up Your Balloons

Balloons are a staple at any party, but to make them more personal, try attaching décor to the bottom of the string. For New Year’s Eve, attach stars. For Christmas, try snowflakes.

People who live in glass houses...

Say It on a Banner

Create a personal touch to your banner by using scrapbook paper or stencils for the lettering and twine or ribbon to hang it.

Strike a Pose

Create your own photo booth with a fabric backdrop, pretty string lights and silly props for a comedic effect.

Do-It-Yourself Lighting

Nothing makes a party more personal and intimate than candlelit lighting. Put scented candles in mason jars throughout your patio or front sidewalk. Using faux lights, you can even hang the mason jars with ribbon or twine from a tree. You can also place a personal message on the jar with vinyl letters, which can be purchased at craft stores.

Scan with your smartphone using the Layar app to check out more ideas on our Pinterest board. (See page 7 to learn how.)

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T he D i sh

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Nourish Your Body With

Chicken Soups From Around the World

By Jessica McMullen

Long before antibiotics were used as medicine, homemade soups were used for healing. The French word “restaurer” means “to restore to a former state” and is the origin of the word “restaurant.”

The encyclopedia defines a restaurant, in part, as “a medical term; it is a remedy whose purpose is to give strength and vigor.” In the mid-1700s, an industrious Frenchman is credited with selling vegetable and poultry-based stocks and initiating the idea of selling food to nontravelers. Since then, restaurants have evolved in many ways, but soups are still found around the globe as healing remedies.

Regardless of your health, there is nothing quite like a bowl of chicken soup to help you feel restored.

Jessica Bright McMullen has co-written and contributed to several cookbooks, including a New York Times Bestseller. A former restaurant consultant, Jessica is the owner and chef of KitchenAble cooking school in the Cottages on Lake Ella. You can find out more at kitchenable.net or at chefjessicabright.com.

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T he D i sh

Chicken Stock

Sometimes, when life is really busy, I make this stock using rotisserie chicken from the deli. You can make this with your own roast chicken or go for convenience and let the deli start the process.

2 roast chickens 3 whole carrots 1 generous sprig of thyme 4 ribs of celery 3 sprigs parsley 1 large onion Carve a roast chicken, cut off leg quarters and reserve to serve whole. Remove wings and add to a large stock pot. Remove any excess skin and fat from the chicken and cut the breast meat from the carcass.

Reserve the breast meat for other recipes.

Add remaining bones to the stock pot.

Repeat the same process with the other chicken. Pour any drippings and additional gizzards from the roasting pan to the stock pot, rinsing with a little water if necessary.

Add vegetables and herbs to the stock pot and be certain there is enough water to cover everything—at least 3 quarts of water. Place pot over medium heat and bring to boil. Simmer covered for at least 4 hours. Alternately, this can be made in a slow cooker and cooked overnight. Place in the pot, cover and cook on high for 1 hour, then allow to cook on low for 8 hours or longer. If you want a clear (not cloudy) stock, skim any foam that forms on top of the stock as it simmers and discard.

After chicken has simmered, allow it to cool slightly. Use tongs to remove large solid pieces from the stock. Use a ladle to pour the stock through a strainer that is lined with cheesecloth, removing any solids. Pour into heat-safe quart containers (jars or plastic) and place in refrigerator to chill. When ready to use, remove the fat that has congealed on top of the stock and then pour the remaining liquid to use as needed. If you are not going to use the stock in 3–4 days, then store in the freezer.

For optimum quality, use frozen stock within 4 months. It can be poured into an ice cube tray and then bagged when frozen for easy access and future recipes.

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Chicken Soup This standard recipe is most similar to the soothing soup my grandmother made to cure what ailed us. By keeping the cooked noodles separate from the soup, you prevent them from over absorbing the broth and becoming too soft when you eat the soup later.

1 tablespoon fat from the top of homemade chicken stock or extra-virgin olive oil ¼ cup diced onion 2 ribs chopped celery ½ cup chopped carrot 1 quart prepared stock ½ cup cooked chicken, diced Salt and pepper to taste ½ tablespoon fresh thyme (or dill) 8 ounces orzo, cooked al dente (or noodles of choice or rice) 4 raw eggs, beaten ¼ cup fresh parsley, minced Heat fat in large pot; add vegetables and sauté until onions are translucent. Add broth and chicken. Season with salt and pepper and thyme, then bring to a gentle boil. Remove ½ cup of liquid from soup and whisk it into the beaten eggs, then pour egg mixture back into soup pot. Add parsley and pasta—serve immediately.

If not eating the soup right away, keep the noodles and soup separate and add noodles to stock when ready to serve.

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Avgolemono (Chicken Soup with Egg-Lemon Sauce) This Greek-style chicken soup is delicious and healing with the addition of fresh lemon juice for flavor and vitamin C. 3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil 2 cups finely diced onion (about 1 medium onion) 8 cups chicken stock 2 cups cooked chicken, diced 2/3 cup Arborio rice 1/2 cup fresh lemon juice 2 large eggs 1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper 2 tablespoons minced fresh parsley leaves Salt to taste Heat oil in a large skillet over mediumhigh heat. Add the onion and cook, stirring until translucent, for 6 minutes.

Remove from the heat and set aside.

Place 8 cups of broth in a large soup pot on high heat; add the rice and onion and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat and simmer until the rice is almost cooked through for 20 minutes. Add the chicken and reduce the broth to a low simmer.

In a medium-sized bowl, beat the lemon juice, eggs and pepper. Ladle 2 cups of hot broth into a liquid measuring cup.

While whisking slowly pour the 2 cups of broth into the egg mixture and pour the egg mixture back into the pot and add salt to taste. Stir well, garnish with fresh parsley and serve immediately.

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Tom Kha Gai Chicken with Galangal and Coconut Soup The spice of the ginger and chilies in this popular Thai soup are healing remedies that help us breathe more easily.

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3 cups coconut milk 1 lb chicken breasts cut into bite-size pieces 2 stalks lemon grass, bruised and thickly sliced 1 medium sweet onion cut in half and sliced 1 teaspoon salt 1/3 cup galangal, sliced 5 oz fresh shiitake mushrooms, thinly sliced 3 kaffir lime leaves 1 teaspoon sugar 3 tablespoons lime juice 1½ tablespoons fish sauce 5–7 Thai chilies seeded and thinly sliced Garnish: 2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro Thai chilies (optional) Place 2 cups of coconut milk in large saucepan and bring to boil over medium heat. Add the chicken, lemon grass, onion, salt and galangal.

Cook until chicken is tender. Add the remaining cup of coconut milk, mushrooms and kaffir lime leaves. Season the soup with sugar, lime juice, fish sauce and Thai chilies.

Turn off heat and remove lemon grass. Spoon the soup into bowls and garnish with chilies and cilantro.

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FunnyGirl.

TheP erfect Gift

By Karen M. Morris

Christmas is the world’s biggest birthday party, and this year, I treated it like I was dead last in a marathon with the clock ticking. Fortunately, God has a sense of humor, and this Christmas, He shared a little of it with me.

I’d spent the entire year looking for the perfect gift. In January, I started taking notes on what people said. My husband, Wayne, “said” he wanted a Powermatic planner. And, for the next three months, I searched for that exact model. Twelve stores later, I found the Powermatic at Handyman Depot and bought it.

Then I hid it in a secret room that only I knew about—the laundry room.

In April, Wayne changed his mind and began drooling over a drill press. The Powermatic was too heavy to hoist out of the basement, so I kept it and used the box to set stuff on. By December, Wayne had lusted after a reciprocating saw, an air compressor, a drill press and a plunge router. I now owned enough tools to open up my own Handyman Depot, and Wayne was dreaming of a boat.

The week before Christmas, I was desperate and bought Wayne whatever I could get delivered by the 25th. It turned out to be a wireless mouse, which was a good thing. I might have strangled him with the cord, otherwise. When the mouse arrived, I hurled it under the tree unwrapped. One of the cats must have claimed it, because we never saw the mouse again.

I started the Christmas season off by complaining it had snuck up on me. I even began asking people if Christmas had come early this year. Why I was caught off guard was a mystery. I owned a calendar and Christmas was clearly marked on Dec. 25—exactly 365 days from the last Christmas that had snuck up on me. I panicked and started baking—a practice handed down by my ancestors who didn’t own calendars.

After baking for weeks, I assembled ten trays of cookies and candy to give to our friends. My refrigerator couldn’t hold all the trays, so I set them outside on the deck where they’d stay cool.

The next day, I discovered the plastic wrap on every tray had been nibbled through and all the pecan bars were missing. The chipmunk I had thought was so cute when he stole food out of Wayne’s bird feeders had raided my trays. Worse yet was seeing all my other cookies strewn around—rejected by a rodent. It made me wonder what our friends did when they got their trays.

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Now every year, we set aside a day and devote it to setting up the tree and decorating. With our used equipment, we needed a whole day. Wayne hauled out the artificial tree. It had lost most of its needles and looked anorexic. So we put a spotlight on it to give people a clue where it was. None of the twinkle lights were functioning, and the ornaments were all stuck together like a lab model of DNA. Exhausted from all of my baking, I took a nap during the stringing of the tinsel. When Wayne wrote our annual Christmas letter, he asked me to help him remember some of our more exciting adventures during the last year. All I could think of was that we fixed the oil leak in the car and our 20-year-old TV had lost its ability to reproduce the color blue. I suggested we e-mail a card to everyone on our buddy list. With one click, all of our friends (including some strangers named “Blenderhead” and “Tingletoes”) would know just how much we cared. Didn’t Wayne realize it was Christmas and we didn’t have time to get personal?

As we celebrated Christmas this year, everyone was jabbering and ripping open their packages. But not me. I collapsed on the couch like a drama queen. I definitely needed an attitude adjustment.

And that’s when God showed me His sense of humor.

I noticed the Christmas tree was leaning at a 90-degree angle—it was imperfect, just like me. But God still thought I was precious.

My cooking was so atrocious that even a starving member of the rat family refused it. Yet, God saw me as a fixer-upper with heavenly possibilities. And the gifts were all wrong. But it didn’t matter because my family already possessed the greatest gift of all. Today was Christ’s birthday.

Christmas is about the perfect gift and sharing it with others.

It’s about getting personal with those you love. I looked at my children as they tossed wrapping paper at each other’s heads and my husband as he shook the empty wireless mouse box. And I laughed. Tomorrow may be another day, but the joy lasts forever.

K C A B R E H T E G IN THE JUNGLE

.

R E K C I QU Kids will be kids. And when the backyard magically turns into a jungle, accidents can happen. So when that inevitable break, cut or bruise occurs, bring them to the ER at Capital Regional Medical Center. Our dedicated pediatric ER is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. So we will have her back to swinging through the jungle in no time.

For more information about when to take your child to the ER, talk with our nurses 24/7 by calling 850-325-3627 or visit us at www.CapitalRegionalMedicalCenter.com.

Check our current average ER wait time by texting ER to 23000.

Message and data rates may apply. For more information, visit TextERHelp.com

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THANK YOU TALLAHASSEE

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