TAKE 5 May 2011

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Letters Cleanup!

Thanks to everybody that assisted in the weekend cleanup, we should be very proud of what was done; the total tally of garbage, steel, tires was 48,000lbs, 2.5 tonnes removed from Peerless Road alone which ironically is just past the dump. Thanks to everyone, great job.

- Dave Judson, Ladysmith Sportsmen Club There was a group of volunteers from Spruston Road, and a group of over 10 in South Wellington. Between us we took five truckloads to the dump totaling 2 tonnes! - Krista Seggie

Island Rail Service

I agree with Graham Bruce in his April 7 comment printed in the Victoria Times Colonist, that if the Island Rail service on Vancouver Island shuts down it will be a terrible travesty for Island residents and new tourists visiting our beautiful Island.

We in Ladysmith look to the Island rail service as a major component of our future community development. Transportation both south and north for our residents is key. Our focus in Ladysmith centers on new sustainable growth focusing around and encouraging green initiatives. An efficient functioning rail system would be key in reducing automobile pollutants

Volunteer groups cleaned up the community. Photo: Rob Johnson

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produced by the thousands of vehicles passing back and forth through our highway corridor daily.

At the Ladysmith Chamber of Commerce, we are starting fundraising initiatives to assist the Town in establishing the rail station as the central focus of a new Visitor Information Centre. Our residents could welcome passengers on the rail cars and promote our community as an Island destination. Can you imagine ambassadors dressed in period costume greeting passengers with their pleasant Ladysmith smile! I can!

Our Chamber is now developing initiatives to create a dedicated fund to assist in upgrades required to renovate the existing train station. You can imagine our disappointment when reading Graham Bruce’s announcement that the rail service is being suspended until upgrades are completed. If upgrades are not completed it may well be the demise of a unique opportunity. Mr. Bruce’s estimate to complete the needed upgrades is $15 million dollars, split by governments.

We urge all governments to fund the upgrades needed to maintain and expand a unique transportation service on Vancouver Island. The Ladysmith Chamber of Commerce is sponsoring its annual golf tournament on Friday June 24, 2011 at the Cottonwood Golf Course, proceeds to a dedicated building fund for the Ladysmith Train station upgrades. We intend to do our part to promote a greater usage of the rail system in Ladysmith, we encourage all levels of government to “hop on board” and do their part in making this rail service a great success!

-Rob Waters, President Ladysmith Chamber of Commerce Chair of the Ladysmith Tourism Advisory Committee

Waiting for suite answers

I wish to thank Ladysmith Mayor Rob Hutchins for his response to my letter in the April issue of Take 5 Magazine regarding the illegal Loft Dwelling at 410 3rd Ave (corner of Roberts St.) I contacted the Mayor on April 7th requesting a copy of the Solicitor’s Report which he stated indicates the building to be legal under the bylaws. I also asked him to show me where, in the building plans, it was “clearly written” that it could not be used as a residence. I have the building plans and am unable to locate this statement. The application clearly indicates “Residence” as its purpose. I am looking forward to receiving this information. - Cathy Gilroy

New TAKE 5 TV episode

Viewers respond to the latest episode in TAKE 5 TV - featuring a visit with the Ladysmith Downtown Business Association. http://www.take5.ca/take5-tv/ Love it, what a great idea! I’ll pass the link along!

- Cathy Gilroy Well done, Take 5 TV, what a great way to present local stories. Love to see more by Jill Collins on nearby trails.

– Pat Sampson VERY VERY COOOOOL!!!!!!!! - Ginette Prevost I really enjoyed Take 5 TV - colourful, engaging, highlights what is going in our town, and is a great medium for people to watch some great interviews, and learn about what is going in our town. Well done. - Garth Buck Not bad! Short and to the point about Ladysmith and busi-

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nesses. It is nice how you visit a few of the businesses. - Isabelle Oulette Great! Let’s talk in June about doing an episode with the Historical Society!

- Maureen Martin I think it is a great idea. I love the visiting views to have a quick glance at all the sights. I hope the tourist bureau is supporting you as there is so much to see in Ladysmith (parks, Skate Park, schools, churches, charitable societies) a whole wealth of material, and when you have finished Ladysmith you can start on Cedar. - Shelagh Gourlay Cute! Good quality video. Nice touch to your magazine. You’re becoming innovative! Wow! - Paul Grey Good Job! It looks and sounds good.

I think we got all the important points across about the LDBA except maybe a mention of www.LadysmithDowntown. com - John Surtees Great stuff - well done.

- Peter Richmond

April Fools strikes TAKE 5

A printing press error had some of our readers confused last month. Page 4 was switched with 16, Page 9 with 21, page 28 with 40, page 33 with 45.

We apologize for any inconvenience this caused. The irony is that it happened on April Fools. Of course we didn’t think it was funny. Our printer kindly reprinted the issue, and redistributing it in the community in addition to the copies already mailed out through Canada Post.

The positive of all this? We doubled our circulation. And probably made a few people smile. April’s Fool Day, eh?

– Marina Sacht, Editor It is so nice to see the human side of business - perfection is always expected, but gremlins can add some humour to life. I love it! – Mary Marcotte Letters to the Editor are welcome but are subject to edited for grammar and space. Please submit your letters on community topics to editor@take5.ca or www.take5.ca. You can also fax us at 250-245-7099 or mail to TAKE 5, PO Box 59, Ladysmith, BC V9G 1A1.

Did you know that you can comment on articles directly on our website?

Check it out. www.take5.ca. You can follow us on Facebook, YouTube, Twitter and most major social medias.

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Ladysmith Mayors Report

A Lesson from Japan

BY ROB HUTCHINS LADYSMITH MAYOR In March, with the help of mostly amateur video the world witnessed the incredible destructive power unleashed by a 9.0 earthquake and its accompanying tsunami. The loss of thousands of lives, the loss of billions of dollars worth of public and private property, the loss of jobs, the loss or interruption of supply streams for commodities and manufactured goods, and the contamination of air, water, and land by the failure of the safety measures in a nuclear power plant, will all take years to recover from. It will take years to heal.

Despite the immense losses, the situation would have been far worse if the Japanese had not been so well prepared, both individually and collectively. Japan has recent memory of such large earthquakes. A similar size earthquake struck Japan in the 1920’s. Over the last 50 years the country has invested heavily in mitigating the impact of mega-thrust earthquakes.

On Vancouver Island we have only just begun.

With no recorded history on Vancouver Island of such large earthquakes, it was up to the scientific community to first begin crying the alarm. In the mid-1970’s it was commonly accepted that Vancouver Island lies at the boundary of two tectonic plates, the North American and the Juan de Fuca. By the mid-1980’s the scientific community had gathered sufficient evidence to inform us that yes, Vancouver Island, Washington State and Oregon have experienced some 13 mega –thrust earthquakes (8.5 -9.5 on the Richter Scale ) over the last 6500 years. The last one to occur was in the winter of 1700. ** However, it was not until the spring of 1993 that the scientific community found conclusive evidence that our island, the land we call home, was under immense pressure as the edge of the two tectonic plates are being forced together. In the words of Gary Rogers, a seismologist at the Pacific Geosciences Centre in Sidney, B.C., “our island can only get so skinny and so tall for so long,” before the fault will let go and release a massive

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earthquake. It is not a matter of “if” but “when” will we experience such a quake. What can you do? Take some first steps.

Read – The Cowichan Valley Emergency Preparedness Workbook published four years ago. It is an excellent resource and available free of charge at City Hall, the CVRD, or online.

Personal Safety – Practice “Drop, Cover and Hold.” Have an emergency power failure light in each bedroom of your home and a pair of shoes beside or under your bed.

Create a Family Plan – Where will you meet? How will you communicate if you are separated from your loved ones? Where will you go if your home is not safe?

Store water and pack Emergency Supply Kits for your home, your car, your workplace..

Protect your Home – Houses built before 1956 need to be anchored to their foundations. Ensure you have a working fire extinguisher and everyone knows how to use it. Know how to turn off your utilities: water, electricity, and gas. (Only turn off the gas if you smell gas.)

We cannot change or prevent the event, but we can learn from the Japanese and take steps to reduce its impact on us, both in the short-term and in the long-term. ** It is of particular interest that we have learned something else from Japan about earthquakes. It was through Japanese historic records that we determined the date and time of our last mega-thrust earthquake: January 26, 1700 at approximately 9:00 p.m. at night. How did the Japanese have a record of that quake? Our earthquake sent a destructive tsunami across the Pacific to the shores of Japan.

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Above:One of the gardens featured in this year’s Ladysmith Rotary Garden Tour. Wendi and Michael Wagge’s garden on Gatacre Street is both unusual and full of surprises.

Left: Memorial Gardens Photos submitted

Garden tour returns The Ladysmith Rotary Club is proud to announce the 14th Annual Garden Tour, Sale and Show on Sunday, May 29. The self-guided tour of about ten gardens features the creations of local gardeners as well as the opportunity to learn from these outdoor enthusiasts.

The Show and Sale begins at 8:45am at Aggie Hall on First Avenue in Ladysmith, and offers a $3 continental breakfast. Local garden-related businesses

will exhibit items for sale all day.

Experts will provide their gardening expertise and leadership on what works and does not work throughout the Island communities; Speakers begin around 9am and will inform you on how to enhance garden soil organically and other gardening tips and to do’s for your own garden.

Eight to 10 gardens are featured on the tour this year. Amongst them is the Memorial Gardens behind the Ladysmith Health Care Unit. Volunteers from the Ladysmith Health Care Auxiliary maintain the gardens and meet there every Wednesday morning. The rhodos should be out in time for the tour and they put on a great show.

Another remarkable garden is on Gatacre Street in Ladysmith. This level town garden is both unusual and full of surprises. The totally graveled surface

keeps the maintenance effort down for Wendi and Michael Wagge. The front has a variety of lavenders and a maple with a story to tell. In back the gardener reveals imagination in its blend of nature and whimsey. See the “heather” bed.

Even the kitchen sink is here!

Debbie and Harold Rutti’s two-acre garden is a combination of forest, garden beds and treed lawns. Guests enter between a logging arch and a mature Harry Lauder walking stick. One cannot miss the farm flavour of the property with its variety of old equipment. A pond, fountains, and large mounded bed are the central feature of the rear garden. Name an ornamental tree and you may find it here. You will see oak, redwood, catalpa, sambuka, desert ash among them. A variety of perennials also abound.

Start you day early so you have enough

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Above: Debbie and Harold Rutti’s two-acre garden is a ombination of forest, garden beds and treed lawns. Photos submitted

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Memorial Gardens in Ladysmith offers a quiet place for reflection.

time to visit all the gardens. The tour provides a unique opportunity to visit private gardens and meet the owners. The gardens open at 10am; garden visitors will received their maps and brochures in the morning at Aggie Hall. Many garden visitors will benefit from the tour by getting fresh ideas and feeling enthusiasm and joy of tending a garden. There will be a variety of Vendors at the Aggie Hall selling their Garden Plants and Garden Items .

Tickets sales support Rotary’s good work and are priced at $15 each; they are available in advance from club members, and at the 49th Parallel Grocery Store in Ladysmith and as well as at Aggie Hall on the day of the event.

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Rotary fundraising dollars go to worthy projects and social/community needs.

Call 250 245-4384 or 250-245-3732 or contact Ladysmith Rotarians to get more details about the Garden Tour.

Our local Home & Garden experts give some advice Beyond Decor has been in operation for three years. Ninety per cent of her clients are local and it is a pleasure to work within the community.

When they do a project for a client and they say “I love it! I would have never thought of that” it makes their day.

While they keep abreast of the latest trends they believe that good design is about imagination and surrounding yourself with items that you truly enjoy and are functional.

Their favourite trends this Spring are: - Colour hotter than ever and the bolder the better (deep purple, corals, soft pink, blue, sunny yellow and greys.)

- Wallpaper – you can find some fabulous prints, metallic hints and retro designs.

- Drapes in fluid sheers and silks add elegance and can even be used in the gazebo.

- Chic Eclectic – It is fun to mix different styles and pieces – a very “flexible” way to decorate. Large pictures not to scale that make a statement.

John Surtees is a realtor for Re/Max Ocean Pointe Realty in Ladysmith.

What are the five features home buyers look for when purchasing a home? * Exterior of home has been well kept: Clean gutters and fix downspouts, power washed walk ways, exterior paint is fresh, roof is clear of moss. First impressions count and maintenance issues add up in cost over time. * Finishes and materials: Once a buyer knows their price range they can determine what the standard for finishes are expected in that price point. * Major systems: Take a look at the heating/air conditioner unit, hot water heater, and other major systems as these can be expensive to repair or replace. * Kitchen: The layout and flow will determine how functional the space is. Pay

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John Surtees, Re/Max Ocean Pointe

A & B Alternators

Project completed by Granby Bobcat

attention to the appliances, quality and quantity of cabinets, condition of counters and abundance of lighting * Bathroom amenities: Similarly to the kitchen, look at the bathroom plumbing fixtures, shower/tub to see what condition these amenities are in.

tion of customer service, quality workmanship, and reasonable prices. A&B is in business to fix what the customer already has and thereby save money.

They service lawn and garden equipment, marine, ATV’s Light/Heavy Duty, industrial as well as import and domestic vehicle alternators and starters are repaired or rebuilt on site usually the same day. If time is an issue, stocked units ready to go are available and units can be ordered as needed. A&B offers overhaul services for all alternator and starter needs. http://www.AandB.ca Granby Bobcat Service Ltd. is focused

on customer satisfaction with every aspect of the job, from listening to what our customer wants, checking in with the customer as the job progresses to be sure it is what they envisioned, making sure the job is finished in a timely manner and fair pricing. They are equipped with machines that are perfect for working around existing buildings and landscaping with minimal impact; a skidsteer (the machine that most people think of as a “bobcat) and a small excavator, yet are also capable of bigger jobs such as site prep, foundation digs, stacked large rock walls, road building and land clear-

It is spring, a time to bring out the toys and tools that have been in hibernation all winter. It’s always a good idea to maintain equipment that is relied upon.

But if it won’t start you may need help.

A&B Alternator & Starters has been established since 1985 and enjoys a reputa-

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ing. They are lifetime residents of this area and proud to run a local company serving the residential and commercial neighbors.

Ladysmith Flowers & Gift Shop is located in the historic Hall Building at 320 First Avenue between First Avenue Barbers and TNT Tattoos. Their professional staff will design and deliver the same day for you from our fresh selection of cut flowers and plants.

Looking for a quick, economical way to change or freshen up your home décor? Think of a lovely vase of fresh flowers gracing your home. Or a permanent display coordinating with your colour scheme. Visit our shop and bring your ideas – see what’s new. Experience the difference. flowers@ladysmith.com Ahl Island Landscapes offers complete service from architectural landscape design, hard and softscape installation to decorative concrete surfaces. Murray incorporates natural stone patios, walls and standing rock features to provide stability and permanence to your landscape. Using polymer overlays, reactive acid color and texturing he can transform

Annemarie Collison of Ladysmith Flowers & Gifts at the 2011 Home Garden and Business Show in Ladysmith.

Photo: Marina Sacht

your existing weathered concrete surface to an exciting, permanent component of your landscape. With flowing lines, color and texture they can convert your yard to a unique, exciting space you can’t wait to get home to!

See you at the Ladysmith Rotary Garden Tour on Sunday May 29!

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Sports Field opens

On May 1, the Town of Ladysmith held the Official Opening of the DL108 Turf Field.

Community activities marked the historic occasion. The ribbon cutting and naming of the turf field and new road took place May 1 at 4:30 pm, followed by the inaugural Mid Isle Highlanders Football Club game versus the Victoria Highlanders Super 20 Football Club.

A field users group honoured locals who have contributed much to sports in the community. The street leading to it will be named Jim Cram Drive, and the sport field will be called the Forrest Field after Denny and Mary Forrest for their contribution, said Ladysmith Mayor Rob Hutchins.

Annual Spring Fashion Show and Tea

The Canadian Cancer Society (Ladysmith Branch) 9th Annual Spring Fashion Show and Tea is being held at St. Mary’s Church Hall , 1135 Fourth Avenue, Ladysmith. Saturday, May 28 at 1pm. There will be fabulous fashions from From A to Zebra Fashions and Hagar’s Boutique, food and fun. Highlights will include a Chinese Auction, 50 / 50, lots of door prizes and an “Experience Ladysmith” Mega Gift Basket. All proceeds will go towards Relay for Life to aid in cancer research. Come out with your friends to support this very worthwhile event!

Tickets are only $15 and are available at Black Door Decor, Grant Jewellers, InsuranceCentre Ladysmith (Coronation Mall), St. Mary’s Church Office, From A to Zebra Fashions, Hagar’s Boutique and the CCS Office.

Wilma Wickham, Jillian Easterbrook (Coordinator of this year’s fashion show) and Joan Brownell - three of the models in the 2010 Fashion Show. Photo submitted

Denny and Mary Forrest and Merle and Jim Cram are honoured at the official opening of Ladysmith’s new Sportsfield. Photo: Cindy Damphousse

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reasonable level of fitness is required.

See www.mordenmine.com “Events, Meetings, Historic Walking Tour” for more detailed information.

Tom donates all proceeds from ‘Black Track’ tour ticket sales to help preserve Morden Colliery Historic Provincial Park’s unique 1912 reinforced head frame and tipple named as an Historic Place by Parks Canada.

Cedar residents concerned over proposed cell tower

Black Track Historical Tours

Two ‘Black Track’ tours for Friends of Morden Mine in 2011 led by Tom Paterson will take place on Sunday, May 15, and Sunday, May 29. These tours of Morden and other local area mining sites revealing the Nanaimo area’s remarkable coal mining heritage receive plaudits such as “mesmerizing,””captivating,” “a great learning experience.” Tom is a wonderful raconteur, a well known columnist and historian and has been a key player in the successful fight to restore the historic Kinsol Trestle.

If you would like to join Tom on one of his May tours, please contact cchristo@ shaw.ca or phone 250 714 0377. Tickets are $30 each, or $25 each for two or more in a party. The tours are typically about four hours with numerous stops. Only a

At the April 19 Residents Committee on Water meeting at the Cedar Heritage Centre, a guest presentation was heard from a local group of residents concerned about a proposed cell tower by Telus.

Concerns were heard about the location, potential health effects and adverse wildlife consequences. The cell tower is proposed to be located immediately adjacent to the proposed ‘Kirkstone Place’ planned neighbourhood - recognized in the Area A Official Community Plan as being a prime example of sustainable development and LEED certification. It is expected, as in other places where real estate values are adversely affected, that this ‘unnecessary’ cell tower will have similar effects.

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down to the Ladysmith Maritime Festival on Sunday May 29 and walk your boss off the plank into the ocean. Preregister with the Chamber office by May 7. Please call 250-245-2112 or admin@ ladysmithcofc.com

A Visit from the President

Ladysmith Players A Visit from the President, written and directed By Brian March, continues to May 15.The play is a love letter to the age of radio plays and the people who created them.

Ladysmith Little Theatre, 4985 Christie Road, Box office number: 250-9240658 www.ladysmiththeatre.com

Heath Care forum

Health Care is changing in BC . What is happening in the Cowichan Communities? Find out on Thursday, May 26, 6:30-8:30 pm. Doors open at 6:00pm.

Presentations include: What would we do If Air Travel Looked Like Health Care?

Make the Boss walk the plank

Here is your chance! Help raise funds for a new Chamber of Commerce and Visitor Centre at the Ladysmith Train Station by picking up a sponsor form from the Chamber of Commerce and raising money through your co-workers, customers, family and friends. Come on

Sha-Lynne Cox (49th Parallel Grocer/ Bloooms Florist) gave an award winning performance at this year’s Ladysmith Ambassador Coronation Evening.

New 2011 Ladysmith Ambassadors are Geordana Clint (Kinsmen), Amber Brown (LCU Insurance) and Madeline Tremblay, (Tim Hortons). Photo: Loyola Buck

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How is Creating Opportunities for Group Medical Visits changing opportunities for patients to receive better health care?

A Landmark BC study shows value of good primary care to health care system and how promoting greater attachment to family doctors could save millions of health care dollars.

The Cowichan Communities Health Network is about involving people in decision-making to enhance the health and wellbeing of Cowichan citizens. As a CCHN we have an opportunity to make positive and meaningful contributions to our communities’ futures. We are committed to enhancing community health and well-being and fostering a learning environment focused on factors affecting health and well-being. Further info contact Deena McCauley, CCHN Coordinator info@cchn.ca or 250-701-2153. CCHN website www.cchn.ca

Nanaimo Flying Club Wings & Wheels

June 3-5, 2011, starting at 1pm at the Nanaimo Flying Club at the Nanaimo Airport, 250 756 2680.

On June 3, the events include a Pilot workshop and welcome BBQ at 1pm, no charge. Please pre register.

Featured on June 4 is an air show, a car show (bikes, trucks, cars), kid’s events, information kiosks, pilot competitions, vendors, prizes and more.Tickets are available at the gate. Saturday evening there’s a pig roast and turkey buffet dinner and dance with Brianne de Verteuil & the Savvy 6, a magic show and a swing dance lesson.

On June 5, Eat & Fly with COPA for Kids event, 8am-1pm. www.NanaimoFlyingClub.org for more information. Email all registrations to flyers@pacificwest.com (vehicles, bikes, vendors and pilot workshop and pilot competitors)

Open Houses regarding Secondary Suites

Council is taking a closer look at the issue of secondary suites and is providing several different opportunities for the public to have a say.

ASecondary suites can be an excellent way to offer afford-

able housing in the community, both for renters and for homeowners who need a mortgage helper, said Mayor Rob Hutchins.

“However, we also recognize that citizens may have concerns about the effect of secondary suites on their neighbourhoods and the community. We want to hear from anyone who has an opinion on the subject and this process is designed to offer several different opportunities for citizens to have their say.”

The Open Houses, at which various policy options will be presented and discussed, are scheduled for May 14 and May 17.

All the sessions, as well as the surveys, are facilitated by CitySpaces Consulting, a firm with extensive experience in land use planning and housing programs and policy development..

Island Savings announces results for 2010 in the CVRD and Ladysmith

Despite volatile financial markets, rising unemployment, and ongoing uncertainly in the economy, Island Savings achieved record Earnings from Operations of $9.8 million, a 58.1 per cent increase over 2009. This news comes as Island Savings celebrates its 60th year as a financial and insurance services provider.

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Log barge deliveries to Ladysmith waters

BY PEGGY KOLOSOFF, Keep a look out for a large log carrying vessel in Ladysmith’s outer harbor.

Once or twice a week log barges owned

by Seaspan Canada drop raw logs into the local waters. Each load is about 17,000 M3 of various wood types including Douglas Fir, Hemlock, Balsam, Cedar and Cypress along with the occasional pine and alder.

The logs originate from west and north areas of Vancouver Island such as Gold River, Holberg, Port Alice and Port Hardy where presorted bundles of logs are loaded (crossway) onto the deck of the barge using its own cranes. The barge is then towed and when it arrives in the outer Ladysmith Harbour there are several work boats waiting to contain the dumped load. The method for off loading is quite interesting and somewhat of a spectator sport for many locals. First time viewers are fascinated and may be alarmed to see what looks like a ship in distress! Here’s how it’s done.

A log barge dumps its load of logs.

Photo Peggy Kolosoff

The barge hull has special built-in tanks which are gradually flooded with sea water on one side, causing the vessel to list (tip) until the load releases and the barge slides away. The process can take over an hour but don’t take your eyes off because it can all be over in a few seconds.

Now the smaller tugs circle the load with boom sticks and tow it into the booming grounds owned by Western Forest Products. This is the “log sort” in Burleith Arm, seen across the harbour from the town of Ladysmith. Here the wood is sorted by species and grade and made into “booms” which are towed to

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local Western Forest Product mills which include: Saltair Sawmill, Ladysmith Sawmill, Chemainus Sawmill, Cowichan Bay Sawmill, Duke Point Sawmill and Nanaimo Sawmill.

The best (and safest) place to watch a log barge dump event is on the Chemainus Road near the Lagoon bridge or from Elliot Beach. Don’t forget your camera.

Hello, Good Bye, Hello

BY DIANE SLATER St. Philip’s Anglican Church in Cedar has had a year of change, and each time we grow a little closer as a family. A family that cares about each other, and the community of Cedar. We said hello to Rev. Lon Towstego and his lovely wife Marion in January 2010. Rev. Lon was Chaplin at the Nanaimo Correctional Centre, as well as our interim Rector.

Rev. Lon brought us alive with a simple kindness that embraces each person as they arrived at our door. He also heard our parishioners Margaret and Christopher, who said we need a food bank in Cedar. Rev. Lon, a long time board member of Loaves and Fishes, helped many willing volunteers implement a satellite connection. We opened our doors March 2, 2011 as a Loaves and Fishes satellite, thanks to many, including the greater community of Cedar. We are serving coffee and welcome folks every Wednesday from 2:00 - 3:00 p.m.

Rev. Lon said good bye on March 19, 2011 and moved on to a new parish in Esquimalt.

On Sunday April 3, 2011, we said hello to Rev. Howie Adan. Rev. Howie travelled all the way from Holland to be with us. His family will be joining him shortly. Come and meet Rev. Howie. Bring along your little ones for the pre-school nursery program, or Sunday School. All are welcome. As we continue in this year of change, we know one thing. We have a leader who will embrace our Cedar community, and will reach out to connect us even further with the community of Cedar, Yellowpoint and beyond.

The simple welcome we always give

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will be there, so will be the celebration of birthdays and anniversaries at the start of every service. You feel loved, especially if you are alone, to have a prayer on your special day and hear everyone break into the birthday song. In a world of social networking media, feelings of love and community still surround you.

It feels like a hug. Come and have one.

On May 1 St. Philip’s Anglican Church celebrated the 120 years of service to the Cedar and area community.

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EARTH DAY Earth Day, April 22, was celebrated at the Ladysmith Community Gardens and will be “in the earth” as their partners from Ladysmith Family and Friends joined in to plant seeds, share “garden know how”, and have children involved in growing food.

Photo: Rob Johnson

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See what amazing things we have in store for you during the “Be A Hometown Tourist Weekend’, June 4 & 5, 2011 on the following pages. Please note some attractions and business require you book ahead of time and while most do not require a coupon some do. To make it easier we have organized the clip outs together on page 31. If you need more coupons please view our website where you can print them off as well as keep updated on last minute specials and events! www.take5.ca/hometowntourist

Saturday, June 4, Historical Walking Tour with Rob Johnson. Join Ladysmith’s local historian for a walk through Ladysmith’s colourful past. Find out about the “goldrush” that had streets dug up and our famous ghost. Relive the early mining and logging pioneer days. Walks are about 90 min. Meet at the Ladysmith Visitor Centre, at 10am. 411B First Avenue. Free.

Cooking Demo - The Worldly Gourmet “Not A Lettuce Salad” 1-2pm, 524 First Ave, Ladysmith, 250-245-7307.

Sunday, June 5

www.take5.ca/hometowntourist We live in a community renowned for its natural beauty, waterfront, friendly people, arts, history and festivals! We invite all residents to re-discover our Central Vancouver Island communities of Ladysmith, Cassidy, Cedar, South Nanaimo, Saltair, Chemainus and Cowichan Valley.

Join us in the first annual Be A Hometown Tourist weekend.

The event on June 4 and 5 offers locals an opportunity to discover some of the special attractions and shops and services in their own hometown. Often we overlook the treasures that are in our community. This campaign serves to remind us of the wonders that are literally in our backyard.

B & B Open House Tour. Visit some of the unique accommodations and delightful bed and breakfasts in the area. On Sunday eight B & B’s (Abendruh Vacation Home, Beachside Garden B&B, Chemainus Tudor Inn, Hawley Place B&B, Hillcrest B&B, Island Estuary B&B, Kiwi Cove Lodge, Yellow Point B&B) will be open to the public from noon to 4pm.

Details of the tour and the accommodations are available at www.ladysmith-bc-accommodations.com.

Join them for a tour and some goodies.

Free.

Holland Creek Walk Join local naturalist Bruce Whittington for a walk along Ladysmith’s Holland Creek Trail. This is an opportunity to learn about the plants and wildlife that make the park their home, so there will be some Cont’d pg.32

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walking, and some stopping to savour the park’s mysteries. Two walks. 9am and 2pm. Meet at the Kinsmen Shelter at the corner of 6th Ave. and Methuen St. Bring binoculars if you have them. No dogs, please. Free.

Bruce is a freelance writer, photographer and naturalist, and also sits on Ladysmith’s town council. His books are available at Salamander Books and Bayview Framing & Art. Cedar Women’s Institute at the Cedar Farmers Market/Crow and Gate Pub from 10 am – 3pm Ladysmith KidsTri ($25) and TinyTri ages 4-6 ($15). Includes refreshments, cool T-shirt, medals and chance to win great prizes, 9am to noon at Frank Jameson Community Centre. Register at Ladysmith Parks Rec and Culture, Frank Jameson Community Centre 250-245-6424.

Saturday and Sunday Visit the Museum and take a Harbour Tour. Join the friendly captain for a tour of Ladysmith harbour. Find out about the historic waterfront and enjoy the marine wildlife. Tour approx 2 hours, departs from the Ladysmith Maritime Society dock in front of the museum. By donation. Call for reservations. 250-245-0109 Chemainus Tours Family Tour (special $15) Ride the Train or the Horse Drawn Trolley, Saturday and Sunday.

Chemainus Tours was started in 1996 by Jim Bangle after an extensive career with CNR. They are a multi-faceted company offering tours of the Chemainus Murals, aboard their replica “Steam Train” and horse drawn carriages and trollies.

Chemainus Tours also provides a Charter Bus Service, and outbound tours to interesting places in BC and the Pacific Northwest. 250-246-5055 2 For 1 Swim Frank Jameson Community Centre, Saturday and Sunday 3pm5pm & 6pm-7:30pm. Coupon on page 31, Ladysmith Parks Rec and Culture.

Garden classes, Hazelwood Herb Farm. Check website for Garden Classes www.hazelwoodherbfarm.com or call 250-245-8007. Group and bus tours welcome.

Ladysmith Chamber of Commerce and Visitor Centre, drop in on June 4 and 5 and enter to win prizes donated by members. 411B

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First Ave. www.ladysmithcofc.com 250-245-2112 Outdoor Adventure Get your adrenaline pumping with these super savings! 2 for 1 at WildPlay Element Park, 2 for 1 Sealegs Kayaking, 2 for 1 Ladysmith Golf Course, 2 for 1 Cottonwood Golf Course, and two specials at Mount Brenton Golf Course. Call for reservations were applicable or more info.

Shopping, Dining & Services Discounts and Giveaways 2 for 1, discounts and more from your friendly local merchants. See their ads/ coupons here or visit our website: www. take5.ca/hometowntourist

Public invited to B&Bs’ Open House Tour

Ever wanted to see what’s behind the door at some of area’s B & B’s? You’ll get a chance on Sunday, June 5 as the Ladysmith and Area Accommodations Association will be hosting an open house from noon to 4pm as part of the “Be a Hometown Tourist” campaign. Join them for goodies and a look at some amazing places. Details of the tour and the accommodations are available at www.ladysmith-bc-accommodations.com.

The members of the Ladysmith and Area Accommodation Association are pleased to offer over 50 guest rooms— whether you’re looking for an island vacation, honeymoon, wedding, family visit, a getaway or simply a stopover on another journey, you will realize that staying in a B&B is a unique experience, as varied as the attractions around it. Accommodation in the Ladysmith area runs the gamut of lush to luscious... be that a comfy bed or a forest-canopied campsite.

Living here as well as being local hosts (Members of the Ladysmith and Area Accommodations Association), we’re motivated to constantly see our surroundings through the eyes of our visitors. It keeps us having fun ourselves, exploring local options, caring to know what people might want, and helping them find it. Ladysmith can offer guests lodge style gatherings suited to teambuilding groups, weddings, special parties for friends and families, or solitary peaceful rooms for romantic getaways.

Some of our hosts specialize in help-

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ing you plan activities, like kayaking the Oyster Bay Harbour or hiking some of the treasured trails. Some lend themselves to an outdoor experience, helping you find all the beauty nature offers us here. Great hosts can help tourists and visitors to the area discover fine dining and great wines, sometimes right at the guest house where expert chefs serve up West Coast delights. A good host can make a guest aware of all the attractions an area has to offer, and we strive to know the pleasure for ourselves so that we can share it with you.

Whatever our visitors choose to do, whether at the beach, in the woods, on the water, visiting galleries, or shopping for those special items of interest available here, they can come to relax in a variety of environments at the end of the day. Our accommodations are quite varied offering guest services in B&B’s, motel rooms, lodges, or vacation suites.

B&B locations include waterfront properties (seaside or view), a kiwi grove by the bay, a cottage or rooms overlooking the Holland Creek estuary, a Victorian replica home, rooms that provide access to a swimming pool and tennis court, a place that specializes in providing European hospitality, a rural setting that perfectly escapes city life, or a small-town experience right in Ladysmith. Come and check us out, learn about our hospitality, and you’ll know where to send your visiting family and friends too.

Some additional things you might like to know: Bed and Breakfast—yes, that’s breakfast included. Sometimes it’s continental, sometimes fully-cooked, perhaps even a certificate to a local restaurant.

That variety continues with vacation rentals which may or may not include food in a fridge for you to cook or a basket of food brought to your door. Some of our accommodations offer packages with kayaking, theatre, golf, winery tours, and local restaurants and culinary retreats. Ladysmith and Area Accommodation Association members attract guests from all over to share in our spectacular scenery, festivals, hiking, shopping, music, artisans, wines, and food.

Come tour our B&B’s and have some sweets and goodies on June 5 – noon 4pm. Details of the tour and the accommodations are available at www.ladysmith-bc-accommodations.com.

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them on either their ladies or men morning fun rounds of golf. They are welcoming and willing to help you improve your game while you can enjoy the fellowship of new found friends.

For value it can’t be beat. Where else can you and a partner each play 9 holes of golf for only $12.50 plus tax for the two of you? You can on the Ladysmith Golf Club’s 2 for 1 Wednesdays. Other wise it’s $12.50 plus tax for 9 holes and only $20 for 18 holes. Family rate is $35 for a family of 5 for 9 holes of golf. The course also has clubs for rent.

Golf tournaments are welcome, and the club hosts many that offer prizes. If you get a hole in one at any of these club sanctioned events, members are eligible to win a $1,000 prize on selected holes while non members can win either a Trevor Linden hockey jersey or $100.

All in all if you are a golfer, or would like to try out the game then Ladysmith’s Golf Course,is the place to be. Call 250-2457313 for hours of operation and details.

There’s no need to book a tee off time, but they would appreciate it if possible.

Ladysmith Golf Course, one of our treasures

BY ROB JOHNSON Situated on the hill overlooking Coronation Mall sits the Ladysmith Golf Course. This Par 3 Golf Course has been a part of Ladysmith’s recreational scene for over 30 years and has been used by many residents and visitors alike. Unfortunately many local residents have not taken the opportunity to fully enjoy it.

Some people say, “I am going to play it some day” but they never get around to it, while others say it’s only a Par 3, and “I only play the big course”.

I say come out and try the Ladysmith Course. Once on the course, you will quickly see the charm and the challenges it has to offer. For the experienced golfer the course is the ideal location to hone your “short game” skills. The “short game” is a key part of any golfer’s game and we all would like to get better.

How challenging is this course for the experienced golfer? Let’s see you play it without losing at least one ball.

At the same time it is an ideal location for a beginner to learn the game without

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worrying about having to hit a driver and spraying balls all over the course.

Here you can learn chipping and putting skills that will be of value if you wish to advance on to a full size course such as Cottonwood or Mt. Brenton or continue to play on Par 3 course.

The Ladysmith Golf Course is home to both a Men’s Club and a Women’s Club, both of these groups invite you to join

Joan Phillips takes a swing at Ladysmith Golf Course. Photo: Rob Johnson

WEB EXTRA!-

Read Rob Johnson’s When is a public meeting not a public meeting?

online at www.take5.ca. And let us know if you agree or disagree with Rob. Send us an email at editor@take5.ca or comment online at www.take5.ca

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California Quail Many of you will have better stories of quail than I have. We see a flock of them occasionally.

Flock does not seem like a fitting noun. How about a parade...a tribe, a show, a clan? A clan of quail. I like it. These are California quail that were introduced to southern Vancouver Island, Salt Spring and Pender Islands. I am sure they have spread to the other southern Gulf Islands. Are quail an introduced species that has not turned into a pest? They seem to fit in very well and do no harm. They are very social and travel in a group. You can hear them before you see them as they talk and call to each other. Ha ha kow seems to be the unconcerned voice as they let the others of the clan know where they are. One horrible day of torrential rain and wind, I watched fifteen of them running single file like they were on tracks, as they made their way from beneath the hedge to underneath the car in the driveway. They

posted a sentry, an adult male, and this one stood out in the rain while the rest dried off. Wherever you find a clan, look for the guard quail on a high spot, watching out for the bad guys.

They are very pretty birds, about 10 inches from head to tail and intricately marked. The male has a chestnut cap with a black forward facing top knot. White stripes over the eyes and outlining the black throat give them an elegant look. The chest and back are a soft gray and the nape of the neck is a mottled gray blue and white. The belly feathers look like scales as white overlaps brown and gray. The wings are brown with white

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streaks. The female are less intricately marked with a smaller top knot. As they are ground nesters, she wants to blend in with the background.

The clan separates into pairs for breeding season. The female quail will produce up to 20 eggs twice a year. That is a lot of kids and you would think that we would be overrun with them but I imagine many of them are snatched by predators; ravens, raccoons, cats, mink. The chubby adults look yummy to me and I can imagine a pair of them sizzling in the oven. The chicks start to develop wing feathers immediately and can fly within a week.

We have a robin that is nesting just outside our back door in a low shrub.

If we go outside, she freaks out and sits on a branch cursing us. The long haired

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one, the cat and I were sprawled on the porch, soaking up the sun and ignoring the bird. It settled down after a time and returned to its nest. A male and female quail flew into the plum tree that overlooks the porch, stalked to the outer end of the nearest branch and started berating the cat. Chit, chit chit. They both stared down at her and carried on like that for about 15 minutes. The cat glared at them and promised to eat their young. That had its effect and they flew off in a rage.

It all seemed very silly; the birds drawing attention to themselves and the over weight cat making threats that she is probably incapable of carrying out.

There may be a few bad vibes from the birds but one of the first warm days of spring. Ahh!

BC SPCA Annual Open House at Nanaimo The Nanaimo & District Branch of the BC SPCA invites you to an animal-themed day of fun on Saturday, May 14. The event, presented by Hill’s® Science Diet®, takes place from 12 to 4 p.m. at the Nanaimo SPCA, 2200 Labieux Road, Nanaimo.

In addition to featuring pets looking for loving homes, activities at the Nanaimo SPCA Open House will include an ‘ask a vet’ booth, nail trimming, a picnic buffet tent and pooch paw painting. There will also be educational booths featuring the BC SPCA, Cruelty Instigations and Dog Friendly Nanaimo.

Hill’s® Science Diet® is partnering with BC SPCA branches across the province to promote adoption of homeless animals during Be Kind to Animals month in May. “The open house series is an opportunity for people to meet the animals available for adoption and to have fun learning more about how to help animals in the community,” says Lorie Chortyk, general manager of community relations for the BC SPCA. The BC SPCA adopts more than 18,000 animals each year through its 37 branches.

All animals adopted from the BC SPCA are vet-checked, vaccinated and altered (spayed or neutered), and assessed for temperament.

For more information about the Open House series, visit spca.bc.ca.

eft to right Top Row: Sandy Milton (retired), Manager Leon Davis, Bonnie Pequin, Toni Morrison Bottom: Laura Brown, Julie Hitchcock, Amanda Maloney

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RDN - Area A

BY JOE BURNETT The Regional District of Nanaimo’s (RDN) NEW draft Regional Growth Strategy (RGS) The RGS is now available for review @ www.ShapingOurFuture.ca. The RGS is a strategic plan that aims to establish a more sustainable pattern of population growth and development in the Region over the next 25 plus years. The new draft includes policies on food security, water conservation, transportation, economic development, affordable housing and climate change. In addition to the policies covering environmental protection including water and food security, you may also want to look at Appendix A & B of the draft RGS to see how the Area ‘ A’ Official Community Plan review process has informed the draft RGS with respect to lands within the Cedar and Cassidy rural village areas.

Tell us…and win! Tell the RDN what you think about the draft RGS by doing a survey linked to the website above or the RDN Home page and get a chance to win $400 in free groceries, or Bus and

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Recreation passes. If you are part of a group or organization within Area ‘A’ or RDN who would be interested in having a presentation on the draft RGS please contact RDN staff @ growthmanagement@RDN.bc.ca .

Update Area ‘A’ Official Community Plan Review On April 26 the RDN Board gave 3rd Reading to the Draft of the new Area ‘A’ OCP. Nearly three years of public consultation have resulted in a plan that the Area ‘A’ residents can take considerable pride in. The plan is intended to serve as the principal guiding document for all land use planning and management.

It is the community’s long term vision complete with goals, objectives and policies and a road map to help Area ‘A’ become more environmentally, socially and economically sustainable. Thanks to everyone who participated in the drafting of the plan and a special thanks to the 17 member Citizens Committee for their dedication and hard work to develop the plan. Last but not least, RDN staff did a commendable job to guide the process, assemble information, and manage the overall development of the revised community plan.

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Parks, Recreation & Culture Commission.

I am pleased to report that six applications were received to fill the three vacant positions on the Commission.

All the applicants were well qualified to be a member of the Commission and it would have been great if all six could have been appointed, however only three were needed. At the regular RDN Board meeting held March 22, the Board appointed Carolyn Mead, Angela VincentLewis, and Bernard White to serve on the Area ‘A’ PR&C Commission. They join the other dedicated Commissioners, Shannon Wilson, Dawn Burnett, KerriLynn Wilson, Marlies Newton, Chris Pagan and RDN Director Joe Burnett.

My sincere thanks to all who applied.

The PR&C Commission received six applications for Grants in Aid Program.

The RDN Board has supported their recommendations and grants will be distributed to Cedar Family of Community Schools (Families First Programs $1500); Cedar Community Policing (Drug Awareness Fair $750); Comets Sports Recreation & Culture Society (Summer Basketball Camp $800); Ce-

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dar 4-H Senior Advisory Council (Beban Barn Yard $1500); Cedar Community Association (Defibrillator $1500); Friends of Morden Mine (Brochures $750). I am really pleased to see that applications from non-profit organizations and groups have increased. It would be great to have the grant allotment for this year fully subscribed. So if you are a non-profit organization or group in Area ‘A’ providing a community service and qualify, be prepared to submit your application for a grant when the next round of grants is advertised.

Stay safe and enjoy the May flowers.

Joe Burnett, phone 250-722-2656; email: quaillanding@shaw.ca

CVRD - Area H

BY MARY MARCOTTE Electoral Area A, Regional District of Nanaimo - Public Hearing: On March 28, a public hearing was held to receive public comment regarding the draft Area A Official Community Plan.

Now that the public hearing has closed,

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no further input – either in writing or through verbal discussions can be received by the RDN Directors.

Although no further comment is allowed regarding the plan, I would like to note that a number of Area H residents were present at the hearing, and stepped forward with their comments and concerns. Others made written submissions for the record.

Because the two Electoral Areas share natural resources there is a common interest in protecting the groundwater and watershed areas. This was clearly heard at the hearing; concerns for the environment do not stop at the border between the two Regional Districts. For the benefit of both communities, I believe that it is imperative that the lines of communication be kept wide open. What happens on one side of the artificial boundary affects residents on both sides.

Thank you to all the residents in both Areas, A & C, for taking the time to express your views on the Area A Draft Official Community Plan. And thank you to all of the RDN Directors

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who sat on the hearing committee and to the RDN staff who were in attendance. Special thanks to the RDN Board Chair, Joe Stanhope and the RDN Chief Administrator, Carol Mason.

That the Board Chair and the Administrator took the time out of their personal lives to attend this hearing is, to me, an indication that your comments are valued.

E&N Railway: At the annual convention of the Association of Vancouver Island and Coastal Communities (AVICC), funding for the E&N Railway topped the agenda. AVICC is an association of local elected officials drawn from 51 communities on Vancouver Island and the Sunshine Coast. Resolutions related to all aspects of local government are considered and debated; these resolutions are brought forward from Regional Districts and Municipalities to further the interests of local communities.

The delegates were expecting to hear a presentation from the Island Corridor Foundation on service improvements to the E&N Railway; instead we heard that passenger service had been discontinued due to safety concerns. After hearing the Island Corridor Foundation presentation, the delegates endorsed a resolution calling for additional funding from Federal and Provincial Governments to improve the rail line between Victoria and Courtenay. It was clear that development of the island corridor is a high priority for Local Government Officials.

Recycling Styrofoam Packaging: You may not be aware that the CVRD Waste Transfer Station on Peerless Road is now accepting styrofoam packing from electronic purchases, meat purchases and other household items. Although these items cannot be put in the yellow bags for curbside collection, they can be deposited in the white bins at Peerless Road, Bings Creek and Meades Creek. Many of us make the trip to the transfer stations to deposit other items such as glass, large cardboard, yard and garden waste; all styrofoam packaging, except the blue and pink insulation sheets, can now be added to the list of accepted items.

CVRD - Area G

BY MEL DOREY Every year the Saltair Ratepayers Association gives an award called “The Saltair Community Service Award” to recognize a resident for their voluntary work, accomplishments and contributions to community service in Saltair. Nominations for this award can be made by any resident, group of residents, the Ratepayers Board, an, agency or service club. Members of the Saltair Ratepayers Board of Directors are not eligible for this award.

The winner this year is David Thomas who has served the community in many ways. He was on the Official Community Plan committee. He was one of the founding members of the first Saltair Ratepayers Association and a past president of that association. His presence was felt in many work parties such as building the Stocking Creek Park bridge and the children’s playground in Centennial Park. He was on the planning committee for this past year’s 1910-2010 Centennial Celebrations held in Saltair. He is part of the steering committee for Saltair’s Emergency Preparedness. David is also an active member of the Chemainus United Church.

The first winner of the award was Betty Bacon. She is very ac-

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tive in the Chemainus Historical Society and the Legion poppy campaign.

In Saltair she was on the Advisory Planning Commission and the Parks Commission. She was instrumental in getting Citizens on Patrol and Blockwatch started. Harry Brunt was another winner acting as chairman of the Saltair Parks Commission for many years. As well as being a manager of the 49th Parallel Grocery and a single parent he contributed greatly to the community with different cel- David Thomas, Saltair’s ebrations like Easter and Halloween Volunteer of the Year celebrations at Centennial Park. And Shirley Blackstaff was last year’s winner for having done all the work in Stocking Creek Park establishing the park as a nature interpretive centre. She has written several books about Vancouver Island like “My Father was a Coal Miner”. Another book she co-authored with Harry Erickson about BC’s logging industry is called “Hills to Harbour.” Shirley is a member of several naturalists’ organizations in the Cowichan Valley.

Volunteers make tremendous contributions to the community and to the economy. Former US president Bill Clinton said that they add trillions of dollars to the economy. They enrich the culture and provide services to people that might have gone underserved. Sometimes they get grants from governments that allow them to multiply their efforts exponentially.

On a different topic the CVRD will be doing a study this summer to evaluate our water system to plan for upgrades. Lately we have had some serious water breaks on Gardner Road that have been very expensive and worrisome. The water pressure there is very high so the pressure has to be kept down to avoid more breaks. But when you decrease the pressure there it also decreases the pressure elsewhere in the system. For example, Wilcox Road which has a much higher elevation gets a very low pressure when this is done. Other areas need to be looped so that the water circulates better. Our system is about 55years old and is need of major upgrades. This study will determine how best to do the upgrades and have maximum benefit. We probably will end up having to borrow money to do this work.

It is most likely that a referendum will be needed. More community discussion is needed on this topic.

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The Royal Wedding When it comes to out and out excitement, now that Charlie Sheen’s settled down, you can’t beat the royal wedding.

A startling development involved a dramatic break in protocol in regard to the royal weddings logo. I don’t know about you but at our wedding we thought the secret handshake and Elvis costumes were enough. Apparently logos are important because you can plaster them on anything within 100 miles of the official hitching post and sell them as souvenirs, right down to the rats nesting under the church.

Proceeds from these sales goes directly into the royal hat fund. Here’s a little primer on British hats: In Britain there are no 10 gallon hats. No, the hats there are all 45 litre or larger and it takes a strong royal neck to support one as they all have the size, shape and complexity of a stage set capable of hosting the RCMP musical ride.

But back to the royal logo, traditionally the logo is comprised of the royal couple’s first initials, with the male ini-

tial going first. Whether this privilege applies to lifeboat privileges on a sinking liner we’re not sure. But to be on the safe side, never lend a royal male your lifejacket.

This time however, Kate (whose real name is Catherine) went before William; the logo is C&W. Why? Because W.C. is the abbreviation for water closet, yep, a British toilet. The royal fear, well founded, is that every time an adult British male sees W&C, he’ll break out in uncontrollable snickering. Yes this is the homeland of adolescent potty humour.

What the Brits didn’t realize is that over here, C&W means country and western.

Which explains why Obama sent 100 head of cattle to the royal couple as a wedding present.

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The British appreciation of adolescent potty humour does however explain a recent North American phenomenon, political attack ads. Keep in mind Britain has always been the principal North American gene pool. That we should practice and appreciate adolescent behaviour shouldn’t come as a surprise. Let’s face it; nothing gives a North American male (average emotional age14) greater pleasure than insulting one of his cohorts.

It all started with derogatory schoolyard nicknames. How we males love calling each other names like, “Flop Ears, Bonerack (my personal moniker), Ernie the Worm, and Dude.

As we matured, and language skills grew, we moved on from single word insults to those involving multiple words, some even evolving into sentence status.

This would be followed by multi-syllabic noises like, “Na, na, na, na, na-na!”

Drilling this derogatory expletive home would be a hand motion involving a pointed index finger while the other index finger, placed at ninety degrees, fans across it like a gunfighter fanning his pistol. Wow that hurt.

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This form of playground insult has evolved into where we have the likes of Stephen Harper saying, “That Michael Ignatieff likes American Krispey Cream doughnuts better than Tim Horton’s. Na, na, na, na, na-na!” Ignatieff in possession of enough formal education for 10 normal guys, responds by saying, “Doughnut? What’s a doughnut?”

Meanwhile Jack Layton, with a grin like a Somali coastal pirate, whacks both front runners repeatedly with his cane, while proclaiming, “It is I, the True Prophet” (not to be confused with the True Profit) More whacking noise, much more. Elizabeth May, proving she’s willing to play with the big boys, whines in harmony with Jack, “Aw come on guys, let me play, I’m as insulting as they come. Why just the other day I called Harper the

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Pillsbury Doughboy.” Stephen, smarting from the epithet, pretends to sneeze while shouting what sounds a lot like cow. This kind of insult is called “technical” as it employs subterfuge.

So no, this name calling nonsense is nothing to worry about.

Our principal politicians are not the immature, low class, unprincipled louts as they appear on TV. No, they’re merely boys.

Boys with a lot of Prince Water Closet’s genes. Isn’t that right, Flop Ears?

A great Italian red to dull the pain with until this is over, the Pasqua Passimento, $14.99. A ripasso style Valpolicella, very easy drinking.

Delbert Horrocks is co-proprietor at the Mahle House Restaurant in Cedar.

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May sees the return of two major festivals to Ladysmith’s waterfront.

Pirates abound at Ladysmith Maritime Festival May 28-29 and Paddlefest May 14 & 15marks the official opening of the BC Marine Trail.

Ladysmith Maritime Festival

The annual Maritime Festival is a free fun-filled family event that celebrates the rich history of the Ladysmith harbour and local marine heritage. The festival is a significant attraction to local citizens and tourists. The festival features a kids’ zone, music, dancers, artists, pirates, free harbour tours, heritage boat displays, museum displays and fishing derby. A

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Tall Ship will be a special attraction.

The merchants of the Ladysmith Downtown Business Association (LDBA) will be dressed in pirate/sailor theme during this event. A shuttle is available between downtown and the festival site. Watch for the kids’ Treasure Hunt.

Stz’uminus First Nation is organizing a tribal journey to the festival and holding a cultural dinner at the SFN community center. An Elders Tent, including storytelling and language teaching will be on

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Ladysmith Maritime Festival.

Photos; Cindy Damphousse, Nick Longo

site. The third annual “Building Bridges through Cultural Connections” dinner held Friday May 27th at the Stz’uminus Community Centre.

Make sure you give yourself plenty of time to visit the many vendors during the festival. A beer garden, food concession, and a dunk tank with proceeds to charity will be on site. Also the Arts Council will be displaying works of art and the Canadian Coast Guard will be present as well as many other vendors…and pirates of course! Arrr... Info: 250-245-0109.

Vancouver Island Paddlefest 2011!

Transfer Beach Ladysmith is the setting for this year’s annual Vancouver Island Paddlefest. On-site is a free tradeshow, workshops led by the industry’s top professionals, boat trials, guided kayak tours, kids kayaking, kayak sail-

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ing, Stand-up Paddle Boards and more. Join us for show specials, fine-tune your paddling skills, check out the newest gear or test paddle a boat!

The Ladysmith community has hosted this annual event for the past 13 years welcoming 2-3,000 visitors over the 2-day event. The trade show and land workshops and presentations are free to the public. There is a nominal charge for water workshops, sea trials and tours. You must register early for the water events to avoid disappointment. Registration begins at 9 am each day.

Traditionally, Paddlefest honours a member of the paddling community who has made significant impact on the industry.

This year the society pays tribute to the members of the BC Marine Trails Network in honour of their valuable work creating opportunities for official marine trails along BC’s coastline.

Visit their information booth at Paddlefest to find out more!

Paddlefest 2011 takes place May 14-15 at Ladysmith’s Transfer Beach. For more information about the event visit www.

Paddlefest.bc.ca

The World’s Longest Marine Trail is Here

BY PAUL GREY The coast of Vancouver Island draws hundreds of paddlers to its amazing rugged beaches, craggy rock headlands, hidden lagoons and cascading waterfalls. Now they have one more reason to come to our shores—the new BC Marine Trail. This network of trails will encompass thousands of kilometres of coastline and may be the longest trail system ever created—land or water. It’s a mere 22 000+ kilometres long! The trail weaves along the entire BC coast from Washington State to Alaska, circumnavigating Vancouver Island and Haida Gwaii. The trail may also include parts of the Fraser River to Hope.

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Originally, the trail was conceived as a lineal route from Washington State to the Alaska border in the early 1990s, by Peter McGee. The BCMTA (British Columbia Marine Trail Association) leased an area at Blackberry Point on Valdez Island and established a rest stop at Musgrave Point on Saltspring Island. The idea of a marine trail was well supported at this time, but it never came to fruition. As time passed and pressures on popular kayak sites mounted, key individuals in the paddling community realized that we may lose access to pristine camping spots. A new group was formed called the BC Marine Trails Network Association (BCMNTA). In the past three years a taskforce comprised largely of representatives from various

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paddling clubs began the job of identifying sites for kayak tenting or kayak rest points.

The marine trail will take decades to complete. Two major sections on Vancouver Island were the first to be tackled: West Coast Vancouver Island North (WCVIN) and the Southern Gulf Islands—three trails—Outer, Inner and Middle). The Nanaimo Paddlers and the Cowichan Kayak & Canoe Club, respectively, largely surveyed these sections for the BCMNTA, recording information such as GPS coordinates and beach gradient. Some of the campsites already existed in federal, provincial, municipal or regional parks. Other inventoried sites fall on crown land or within traditional territories of aboriginal people. This process will continue well into the future.

The BCMNTA set the goal of having a campsite or stopover every 10 nautical miles.

The Gulf Islands Trail system is mostly Class II and better suited for beginners. In particular, parts of the inner trail sandwiched between East Vancouver Island and the Gulf Islands has the calmest conditions (however, this is not guaranteed. Don’t forget to check on weather conditions first!). This trail section starts at Island View Beach and follows one of three paths to Nanaimo. Most of the sites on the trail fall within a park system at this stage. Twenty-seven sites will be announced as part of the Gulf Island sections and 74 access, picnic and camping sites will be announced as part of the West Coast VI section. Generally, the WCVIN is for intermediate to experienced paddlers or for trips lead by a highly qualified kayak guide.

On May 10th, paddlers from various clubs will begin traveling to and camping on all newly approved Gulf Island sites on their journey to Ladysmith Harbour and Transfer Beach. On the day of the grand opening—2 pm on May 14th—we should see paddlers converging from approximately three directions and forming a flotilla as they approach Paddlefest. A number of guests will also be arriving by kayak or Stz’uminus canoe including an official from Recreation Sites and Trails BC division (our partners), the Ladysmith Mayor Rob Hutchins, Ron Cantelon (MLA), Doug Routley (MLA), the BCMNTA directors and Parks Canada.

The BCMNTA is currently working on the development of a layer-mapped website. Membership and more detailed information at bcmarinetrails.org.

We hope to see you at the grand opening!

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May May1-27, Zumba, Cedar Heritage Centre. To register please call 250-722-0123 May 1-14, Speaker series “Discovering South Wellington”, Nanaimo Museum 250-753-1821 May 1-15, Brian March’s A Visit from the President, Ladysmith Little Theatre 250-924-065 May 1-7, “Swan Song: Richard A. Conroy Retrospective”, The Nanaimo Art Gallery at 900 5th St. May 1- 15, Visit from the President, Ladysmith LittleTheatre 250-924-0658 May 1-Jun 4, Steel Magnolias, Chemainus Theatre Festival 250-246-9820 May 1-Jun 6, Boot Camps Co-Ed Cardio and Core, Cedar Community Hall-register 250-722-0123 May 1,10am, 3rd Annual Cowichan Valley Hike for Hospice, Providence Farm, 250-701-4242 May 1, Freisen’s Annual Garage Sale, Cedar 250722-2737 May 1, 2pm, SongWave 2011 the power of music, The Port Theatre, www.bcboyschoir.org 1-888909-8282.

May 2, 6:40pm, Bingo - Every Mon., Chemainus Seniors Centre May 2, Town of Ladysmith, SPRING CLEAN-UP WEEK May 2, 4-6pm, SongScapes on the Beach, Rathtrevor Provincial Park, 1-800-539-8558 May 2-30, 7pm, Explore Iyengar Yoga, Howe Yoga, Chemainus, 250-246-1257 May 2, Electronic Charting, FJCC, Mount Brenton Power & Sail Squadron 250-245-6424 May 2-Jun 15, 8am, Expose Yourself to Art! Exhibit, The Beantime Café, 250-245-2305 May 3 -25, Feature Artist Show: Counterpoint, Nanaimo Art Gallery Downtown May 3, 7pm, The Nanaimo Glad and Dahlia Society meeting, Paine Horticulture Center on E. Wellington Rd., 250-245-4231 May 3, 7pm, 4th Canadian International “MARIACHI FESTIVAL”, The Port Theatre, Nanaimo 250-754-8550 May 4, 7:30pm, Sweeney Todd, Cowichan Theatre 250-748-7529

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Power & Sail Squadron 250-245-6424

Chemainus Seniors Drop-in Centre

May 5, 8pm, Derek Edwards “My Blunderful Life Tour”, The Port Theatre, Nanaimo 250-754-8550

May 14, 9am,Clogger’s Workshop, Chemainus Seniors Drop-in Centre

May 6, 8pm, Led Zepagain in Concert!, The Port Theatre, Nanaimo 250-754-8550

May 14 & 15, Paddlefest www.paddlefest.bc.ca, 250 245 4096

May 6, 5 -7pm, Feature Artist Show: Counterpoint Opening Reception, Nanaimo Art Gallery Downtown

May 14, 9am, Live at the Metropolitan Opera: Wagner’s Die Walküre, Cowichan Theatre 250748-7529

May 6, 6pm, Ladysmith Showcase, In the Beantime Café, 250-245-2305

May 14, 10am, Introduction to Ceramics with Instructor Lori Sorensen, info@nanaimogallery.ca

May 7, 10am, 25th VI Children’s Book Festival, Diana Krall Plaza,Nanaimo Harbourfront Library and nearby locations, www.bookfest.ca 250754-8550

May 14, 12pm, BC SPCA open house, Nanaimo SPCA, 2200 Labieux Road, Nanaimo, 250758-8444

May 7, 9:30am-noon. 33rd annual Plant Sale, St. John’s Church Hall May 7,10am-2pm, Annual Plant Sale!, South Wellington School 1536 Morden Rd., 250-2450440 May 7, Hey Kids! Make A Basket For Mom, participating 49th stores May 7, 7pm, Open Mic Song Writers Nite, Dancing Bean, Chemainus 250-246-5050 May 7, 6:30pm, NOAH’s Silent/Live AUCTION & DINNER, Cedar Community Hall May 7, 730pm, Nick Gilder and Sweeney Todd in concert! with guests- Stone Bolt, The Port Theatre, Nanaimo 250-754-8550

May 15, 1pm, Women in Fish: A free workshop in the Cowichan Theatre, 250-748-7529 May 15, 9am ‘Black Track’ tours with Tom Paterson $30.00 each, 250-714-0377 May 15, 2pm, The Nanaimo Conservatory of Music Showcase Concert & Silent Auction Phone, 250-754-4611 May 15-22, Going For Gold ll Theatre BC play festival, Ladysmith Little Theatre 250-924-0658 May 17, 7:30pm, Michael Kaeshammer & Jill Barber, The Port Theatre, Nanaimo 250-7548550 May 17-Jun 7, 1pm, Watercolour in the afternoon, info@nanaimogallery.ca

May 6, 9am, West Coast Slam Leadership Experience, reserve 1-250-735-0943

May 18, 9:30am, Probus Club of Ladysmith, St John’s Anglican Church Hall, 314 Buller St. 250245-5965

May 7, 4pm & 7pm, Murray Hatfield and Theresa, Cowichan Theatre, 250-748-7529

May 18, 10:30am, Duncan Elementary School – Aladdin, Cowichan Theatre 250-748-7529

May 7, 10am, The Absolute Beginner Acrylic Painting Workshop, info@nanaimogallery.ca

May 18,11:30 am, Soup & Sandwich, Chemainus Seniors Drop-in Centre

May 8, 2:30pm, At Nightfall, The Port Theatre, Nanaimo 250-754-8550

May 19, 9am, Free Blood Pressure Clinic, Chemainus Seniors Drop-in Centre

May 8, 11am, Mother’s Day Tea & Cake, Hazelwood Herb Farm, 250-245-8007

May 19, 7:30pm, Ladysmith Saltair Garden Club Meeting, First United Church Hall 250-245-5080

May 9, Electronic Charting, FJCC, Mount Brenton Power & Sail Squadron, 250-245-6424

May 20, 7:30pm, Margie Gillis, The Port Theatre, Nanaimo 250-754-8550

May 9, 8pm, Derek Edwards, Cowichan Theatre 250-748-7529

May 20, 7-8:30pm, performer Barry Perrin, The 49th Café, 250-245-3221

May 10, 7:30pm, The Buddy Holly Story, Cowichan Theatre 250-748-7529

May 21, 8pm, Sweet Lowdown, Dancing Bean Chemainus, 250-246-5050

May 14, 5pm, Dinner, Silent and Live Auction, First United Church, Ladysmith, 250-245-2183

May 24, 7pm, “Madagascar” presentation and Ladysmith Camera Club AGM,Hardwick Hall, High Street and 3rd.,www.LadysmithCameraClub.com

May 14, 8pm, Alan Gerber, Dancing Bean, Chemainus 250-246-5050 May 12, 7pm, Nanaimo-Cedar Farmers’ Institute Meeting, Cedar United Church, 250-722-3397 May 12, 6:30pm, Dreamspeaker’s book signing, Ladysmith Library, 250-245-2322.

May 4- Jun 8, 7:15pm, Belly Dancing, Howe Yoga, Chemainus, 250-246-1257

May 13, 7:30pm, Victoria Symphony featuring Victoria Choral Society & Victoria Philharmonic Choir, Cowichan Theatre 250-748-7529

May 4, Electronic Charting, FJCC, Mount Brenton

May 14, 7pm, DANCE “Ed Peekeekoot”,

May 25, 7pm, The Cedar Community Association AGM, The Cedar Community Hall May 25, 7:30pm, Ricky, Julian & Bubbles (aka Trailer Park Boys), The Port Theatre, Nanaimo 250-754-8550 May 26, 7:30pm, Shaun Majumder, The Port Theatre, Nanaimo 250-754-8550 May 26, 8:00pm, All Grown UP, Malaspina Theatre

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MAY 2011

May 27, 6:30pm, Celtic Rhythms 2011, Cowichan Theatre, 250-748-7529 May 27-29, 10am-5pm, Ladysmith Maritime Festival, LMS Community Marina, 250-245-0109 May 27, 5:30pm, Stz’uminus Cultural Dinner, Stz’uminus Community Centre May 28, 5:30pm, Captains and crew dinner LMS community Marina, tickets 250- 245- 0109 May 28, 9am-1pm, LAFF Family Garage Sale, Aggie Hall, 250-246-0786 May 28, 8pm, Scott Cook Band, Dancing Bean Chemainus, 250-246-5050 May 28, 7pm, High Street Open Mic and Coffeehouse, United Church 232 High St., 250-245-2909 May 28, 7pm, Dance with “Happy Hans”, Chemainus Seniors Drop-in Centre May 28, 9:30am, Pancake Breakfast, Chemainus Seniors Drop-in Centre May 28, 1pm, 9th Annual Spring Fashion Show and Tea, St. Mary’s Church Hall 1135 4th Ave. May 29, 14th Annual Rotary Garden Tour, Show & Sale, 250-245-3221

June Jun 3-5, 1pm, Nanaimo Flying Club Wings & Wheels,Nanaimo Flying Club, Nanaimo Airport, 250-756-2680 Jun 3- 4,10am, Crofton Art Group Show and Sale, Crofton Seniors’ Centre, 250-416-0608 Jun 3, 7-8:30pm, Kendall Patrick, The 49th Café, 250-245-3221 Jun 4-5 Be a Hometown Tourist Weekend, specials, discounts on attractions and free activities. 250-245-7015 or www.take5.ca/hometowntourist Jun 4, 10am, Drug Awareness And Emergency Preparedness Fair, Cedar Community Hall, 2388 Cedar Road Jun 5, 12pm, Ladysmith Accommodations Assoc. B & B Open House Tour, www.ladysmith-bc-bc-accommodations.com Jun 5, Ladysmith Kid Tri, triathalon for kids 4-14 FJCC, 250-245-6424 Jun 5, 5pm, All Grown UP, Malaspina Theatre Jun 7, 7pm, The Nanaimo Glad and Dahlia Society meeting, Paine Horticulture Center on E. Wellington Rd., 250-245-4231 Jun 11, 1-5 pm, Green Building workshops and open houses, Cedar Hertitage Centre, www.rdn.ca 250-390-6510 Jun 17, 7-8:30pm ,Allie Sunshine, The 49th Café, 250-245-3221 Jun 14, 7pm, Marika Marimba Band, Chemainus Waterwheel Park, www. cvcas.com Jun 15, 9:30am, Probus Club of Ladysmith, St John’s Anglican Church Hall, 250-245-5965

Full events calendar at www.take5.ca

TAKE 5

take5.ca

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DRIVING LESSONS: Approaching Road Test time? Need an evaluation of your driving skills? Also available: Collision Avoidance Training. Great prices on Road Test Packages.49th Parallel Driving School 250-416-1606 or 250-619-2713 DATA ENTRY Volunteer needed, preferably with library experience, at the Ladysmith & District Historical Society.

Contact the office at 250-245-0100 TRADE: NECKY FIBERGLASS KAYAK 14’ 1” Elaho Sport 43 lbs like new for 16’ - 18’ fiberglass kayak also in good condition 250-245-3103 AJ’S PLUMBING AND GAS - Licensed - Bonded – Insured. Journeyman with over ten years experience. New and renovation construction, repairs and installs. For quality work at a reasonable rate. Call Aeron Jensen 250-802-7123 HOW OLD IS YOUR WATER HEATER? How high is your water pressure? Need a new faucet? Call AJ’s Plumbing and Gas for your free consultation. Quality work, seniors discount.

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HOME BUDDIES PET & HOUSE CARE since 1994. Licensed, Bonded, Insured. Professional, kindhearted, experienced & reliable care for all pets.

Pet First Aid and CPR Certified. Certified Security Professional through Westguard Security. When loving care & security are essential, Peggy Wildsmith 250-245-0151 HOW IS YOUR DRIVEWAY? Have those concrete and asphalt areas patched.

Seal your driveway professionally to prepare for the summer heat! Enhance your homes “Curb Appeal” SealTech Specialties call Stuart 250-734-2681.

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BOBBY’S MINIHOE & CLEANUP Landscaping, lot clearing, debris removal, excavating, small deliveries with dump trailer, mulch, lawn soil, garden soil, driveway chip, serving Nanaimo, Cedar, Ladysmith & area call Bobby 250-713-4970 OFFICE SPACES -Downtown Ladysmith, modern, ac, renovated, wired, reasonable rent or lease. 250-245-3395 THE HAPPY GARDENER, weeding, digging, raking, etc. Cheerful and conscientious. Call David 250-722-3599 THINKING OF SELLING YOUR HOME? Perhaps ready for a fresher look in your existing home? The affordable design services provided by Rooms n Blooms can help. Call Shar at 250-245-0548 or email shar@roomsnblooms.ca ISLAND PRUNING - Pruning, tree care, fruit trees, vines, ornamental trees, shrubs and hedges. Chainsaw work and small and large clean-up. Darcy 250245-1260 SPRING CLEANING! Walkways, Driveways, Gutters, Decks Moss, Algae and Dirt. We clean it all and then we seal it well. Be proud of your home. Technology is what we do. www.seicoat.com 250-816-5002 EMERGENCY FIRST AID SERVICES is Ladysmith owned and operated. Red Cross First Aid and Worksafe BC first aid courses available. Check out our April schedules at www.efas.ca or call 250-893-3418

SEMI RETIRED MASSAGE THERAPIST working in Cedar By The Sea $60. an hour session 250-722-2669 LEARN A LANGUAGE : sign up now for classes in French, Italian, Spanish, German, Japanese and Mandarin. Other languages available upon request. Summer emersion. Wentworth Court Language Centre, downtown Nanaimo. 250716-1603 KAREN’S INDUSTRIAL SEWING alterations and repairs, from Grad and Wedding to heavy work clothes and accessories. Can also do Manufacturing and Prototypes. 2nd Ave. Ladysmith for appt. call Karen 250-245-7945 ARE YOU CONCERNED? Hot flashes, sweats. Arthritis, colitis, bursitis, migraines, constipation, blood pressure, shingles, gout & tumors? Over 90% of diseases originate in our colons.

Call Mavis for information re: Canaid & Yuccan 250-245-3054 mavis.clark14@ gmail.com OVERCOAT PAINTING - Professional - Reliable - Reasonable. Operating 6 years in Ladysmith. No job too small. Will do minor repairs. Special senior rates. Call Heather McIntosh for a free estimate. 250-245-5557 SEASONAL GARDENING SERVICES now available. Pruning shrubs, waste removal and lawn care. Spring clean ups are here now call for estimates. Dunn Lawn & Garden. Fully Insured 250-618-6660 F/T OR P/T HAIRSTYLIST needed for busy downtown hair salon call 250924-3400 ARE YOU AN AVID GARDENER/ landscaper and want to work 3 days per week throughout the summer. Chores include maintenance, lawn care etc. Gardening equipment supplied. Call Lou 250-245-7087 or 250-741-4854 AGILE HOME REPAIR & IMPROVEMENTS-Interior and exterior repairs and upgrades. Insured. WCB/ Worksafe B.C. Call Ian at 250-714-8800 or e mail agile@telus.net

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MAY 2011

TAKE 5

LOOKING FOR A RELIABLE HONEST CLEANER, then look no more.

Call Shauna at home 250-722-9413 cell 250-816-9413. Excellent references available. Serving Nanaimo & Area for six years.

VINYL, ALUMINUM & HARDY PLANK SIDING cleaning by Cal Allenby. Affordable rates. Call 250-246-9784 or 250-710-6759 UNIVERSITY STUDENTS looking for summer work. Can do: yardwork, gardening, cleaning, painting, etc. Reliable with previous experience. $25/hr for 2 workers, $15 for one. 250-729-9114 ONE BEDROOM self contained suite available 15th of May. Non Smoker.

Off Yellow Point Rd. Call Ann 250 245 3041 LOOKING for sailboat to crew on, local or offshore. 250-756-8892 WANTED: ISLAND MADE Products for new online e-store. Arts, jewellery, clothing, books, foods. Email editor@ take5.ca for details. Include your website (if applicable) in your query.

33’ ALL ALUMINUM GILLNETTER, excellent condition. Ready to fish or pleasure use. Boat reduced from $45,000 to $30,000. Call 250-756-8892 or email marinasacht@yahoo.ca for photos and details. Boat is moored at Ladysmith Matitime Docks.

CLASSIFIED ADS work. Get them working for you. Next edition June. ads@take5.ca or 250-245-7015.

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54

Kidnapped columnist?

Dear regular readers of this column: We are not 100 per cent positive, but we are pretty sure that your regular columnist, Jeff has been kidnapped and somebody else is writing this month’s column.

We base our assumptions on the fact that there is not ONE mention of the word ‘booger’, there is nary a poke at the Toronto Maple Leafs fans about the fact that the Maple Leafs have missed the play-offs for the 65th year in a row, and from the fact that this month’s column seems to be a little different that Jeff’s usual point of view.

Now, we would notify the proper authorities about our suspicions, but we know that Jeff has had a constant fear (read-fantasy) of being kidnapped by a marauding group of left wing babes with bra busting cleavage and being forced to drink cold beer while watching sports on T.V. We don’t want to incur his wrath if there’s a possibility this has occurred we’ve decided to run this month’s odd column exactly as we received it.

take5.ca

Hey everyone, uhmmm,look, like there’s an election and I just want to say that I’ve been terribly mistaken about all the bad things I’ve been saying about Stephen Harper and the Conservative party. I can’t BELIEVE I was so wrong. I mean, look at what this GREAT and AWESOME guy has done for this country?

For starters, who do you think steered us through that huge mess of a worldwide economic collapse last year? Don’t listen to those coalition minded goons who are trying to tell you that it was then Finance Minister Paul Martin who was the one who stood his ground and didn’t allow the major banks to merge.

I mean, yeah, those mega-mergers were one of the primary reasons for the financial catastrophe, and yes, we voted to allow our BFFs....errrrrr....our corporate brothers to merge, but hey!

Bottom line here is where is Mr. Martin, now, huh?

And remember, WE were the ones who voted and rallied to send our Canadian troops into Iraq and support my mentor....errrrr....I mean George W. Bush in his search for weapons of mass destruction.

Sure, Jean Chretien held his ground and we didn’t go in, but Iraq has turned into such a resounding success, wouldn’t it have been awesome if we were a part of that?

On the war front, look at what else this fantastic party is wanting to do. We’re going to buy 65 planes at a mere $70

MAY 2011

million an airplane! YAY US! And please, pay ZERO attention to Winslow Wheeler, the U.S. military expert who called those numbers “hogwash.” Yes, he might’ve let it slip that the current asking price for those F-35s is actually $155 million per plane, but isn’t an $85 million difference per plane a small price to pay for giving me....errr...I mean, the GREAT Stephen Harper a majority government?

Because that’s what we need, folks. A majority government. Those minority governments don’t work. Why, one time, years ago, we got universal health care from a minority government because the parties actually had to work together and compromise to get things done.

Universal health care? Wouldn’t it be so much better to have a system where you can go broke and lose your home and life savings because you have the misfortune of getting sick?

Precisely. This is why minority governments don’t work. Work together?

Give me a break. No, it is WAY better to have a bully and dictator in the room taking control and kicking his feet and stomping the ground until he gets his way. That way I....errrrr....I mean Stephen Harper can finally run this country like his idol, the magnificent George W. Bush.

Thank you, everyone. Remember, a vote for me....errrrr....I mean, a vote for Stephen Harper is a vote for a dictatorship regime.

Isn’t that exactly what we all want?