4 minute read
NOT TAKEN FOR GRANTED
Semen Testing
Shorty is kinda shy. He’s a real good hand, just kinda shy. He’d get all red if a heifer spent too long lookin’ at him. So….when he started seeing Cathy, we were all pretty surprised. Be damned if they didn’t go off and get married a couple of summers later.
Things went pretty good for Shorty, after they got married. He fleshed out quite a bit and most days you couldn’t have taken smile off his face with a stick. All that changed last spring.
It seems Cathy figured it was time to start a family. Shorty tried to sell her on a puppy, but Cathy wasn’t buying. So….Shorty gave up and the two of them set to making babies.
Shorty figured they had practised quite a bit, so the rest should be pretty easy. But they tried and tried and Shorty just couldn’t get the job done. Cathy decided that she should get things checked out and so off she went to see Doc Hardy.
Shorty came home that night and found Cathy waiting for him. She told him all about the tests and what Doc Hardy had to say and it wasn’t until she sat down that Shorty figured it out. She had already made the appointment.
Now Shorty was never much on goin’ to see Doc Hardy, especially not about something like this. If he wasn’t bleedin’ or it wasn’t broke, he just couldn’t see any reason to go in. He was pretty sure it wasn’t broke and he knew he wasn’t bleeding…
Shorty was pretty nervous when the nurse stuck him in a little room. Doc Hardy came in, talked a bit, then turned to a desk and handed Shorty a little bottle. She told Shorty that she needed a sample. Now… Shorty checked bulls every spring. He started lookin’ right away for the electric bullet. Doc Hardy smiled at him and told Shorty he could fill the bottle at home if he wanted. Shorty wanted.
The next morning Shorty and Cathy figured things out and filled the bottle. Shorty popped the bottle into a brown bag and asked Cathy if she would drop the bottle off at Doc Hardy’s. Cathy declined.
Shorty headed for town, the brown bag on the seat beside him. He pulled up to the clinic and headed in with the brown bag. The nurse told him that Doc Hardy was out and wouldn’t be back ‘til noon, but offered to take the bag. Shorty declined.
Shorty climbed into the truck and tried to figure things out. He knew that noon was too late and he sure wasn’t real big on filling another bottle. Then it came to him….Doc Kramer.
Doc Kramer was a crusty old bugger, but that didn’t matter much at this point. Vets don’t have to have a great bedside manner. Shorty had seen Doc Kramer semen test, he was pretty good.
A few minutes later, Shorty was in Kramer’s Clinic. He found Doc Kramer in the back and walked up to him, bag in hand. “Heh Shorty, what can I do for ya?
“Heh Doc. I gotta bull I need checked.”
“Here” Shorty pulled the bottle from the bag.
“’Bout an hour ago.”
Doc set up a slide and put it under the scope. He stared into the scope for a long time, fiddled with the slide a bit and stared at it some more. Shorty was starting to get pretty nervous. Doc Kramer looked up, and turned to Shorty.
“This son of a bitch is no damned good..” “Huh?’ stammered Shorty.
“Yup. His nuts must be too small”
Shorty swallowed … hard.
Shorty looked into the scope. There was a whole bunch of little circles, some with tails, most without, and only a few were even moving.
Shorty turned and started for the door. He stopped and turned to Doc Kramer…
“Yeah?”
“Know where I can get a good puppy?”
Grant Rolston was born and raised in ranching country near Penticton, British Columbia. After graduating school, he worked on a purebred Hereford ranch, then assumed a position at Western Breeders Artificial Insemination Unit. In 1980, he left the livestock scene and joined the Edmonton Police Department, where he received his formal training in photography, working for the IDENT unit (crime scene investigation). After a decade, he returned to the industry, purchasing a herd of purebred Angus cattle but both Grant and his wife, Lauralee, worked off the ranch to make a living. He chose livestock photography and is now Canada’s premier livestock photographer of beef cattle. Grant and Lauralee travel throughout nine provinces in Canada for on farm photography, in aulcan, Alberta. With four decades of experience, Grant shares things that are “Not Taken for Granted.”
