Resiliency & Coping Skills

Resiliency

Resiliency is our ability to bounce back from stressful situations. Kids and adults who are more resilient are better able to cope with the challenges that we all face in life. Just like any physical muscle, resilience is a “mental muscle’ that can be exercised and developed. Danny and the other children showcase many different aspects of resilience throughout the show. Below we discuss our body’s reactions to stress, resilience, and how we can build those muscles.

Our Brain’s Reaction to Stress

During times of stress, our body chemistry quickly changes to make us stronger, faster, more alert, and more capable of taking care of ourselves. Our heart rate and blood pressure increase and stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol surge through the body. This reaction is caused by the amygdala, or the reactive part of our brain. This reaction is also known as fight, flight, or freeze. Each of these stress reactions can be incredibly helpful during short term stressful situations like when we need to fight off something dangerous (like a bear), run away from something chasing us, or stop quickly in the face of danger. When the amygdala takes over, it temporarily shuts off the prefrontal cortex, or the thinking part of the brain. This part of the brain is in charge of problem solving, impulse control, and regulating emotions. When we need to fight off a bear, it really helps to not be scared or waste time deeply analyzing the situation. It is very important that the reacting part of the brain can take over. When we are in long term stressful situations, our brains keep producing those stress hormones, keep our heart rate raised, and make it very difficult to think, plan, or regulate our emotions. Resilience relates to a person’s ability to engage the prefrontal cortex (thinking part of the brain) and calm down the amygdala (reacting part of the brain).

Resiliency Cube Activity

There are many different techniques to help build resilience. On the next few pages we discuss six aspects of resilience and instructions on leading your students through building a paper “resilience cube” that they can use to practice building those muscles daily.

Resiliency & Coping Skills

Stress Management & Health Stress Management and Health - There are two kinds of stressors in our lives, external and internal. External stressors are the events that happen to you, like having to move, changing schools, or having relationship problems with family or friends. An internal stressor is the pressure you put on yourself as a reaction when something bad has happened or when you feel uncertain or out of control. Exercise is a healthy and effective way to reduce stress. Try using your large muscle groups (like your arms or legs) to help reduce stress by making your heart stronger and helping to lower your stress hormone levels.

For this side of the cube, draw a physical activity that you can do to help you release your stress. Can you choreograph a dance you do every time you feel stressed? What about running or walking a certain number of laps around your house? Biking? Snow shoeing? Draw an exercise that makes you feel good and uses the large muscles of your body.

Failure as Growth Failure as Growth: Optimism - It is ok to make mistakes. Failure is a regular part of everyday life and every human on Earth has experienced failure. Michael Jordan points out that he missed 9,000 shots in his career and lost over 300 games. It is the fact that he kept going that made him a success, he learned from each of those mistakes. Thomas Edision, who invented the light bulb, said “I haven’t failed. I’ve identified 10,000 ways this doesn’t work.” This approach is called trial and error learning. Eventually, you get it right and have learned so much more in the process.

For this side of the cube, think about a time when you didn’t get something right and learned from it. Sometimes, when we’re in the midst of just getting something wrong it is hard to remember the times where we have learned from failure. Draw a reminder of this moment on a side of the cube. Have confidence in your own ability to grow!

Resiliency & Coping Skills

Flexible Thinking Flexible Thinking - Everybody has stressors of one sort or another. Remember the two kinds of stress—the outside kind and the inside kind? Outside, or external stressors, are those unpleasant things that happen to you, like moving, your parent losing a job, or friends moving away. Inside stress is the pressure, strain, and constant worry that you put on yourselves when something bad has happened. You can’t always change outside stressors but you can change how you think about them to become resilient. Resilience means being tough and strong and being quick to recover when setbacks happen. Have you ever seen a tree dancing and moving in a strong wind? If the tree were stiff, brittle and unbending, it might break from the stressor of the wind. People are the same way. They can bend and be flexible or they can break under pressure. Being resilient means you find the ability to stretch and snap back instead of being rigid and breaking under pressure. This resilience is a muscle like any other, to build it up you must practice.

Agency & Self Confidence Agency and Self Confidence - We all have strong positive qualities and ways of acting that are uniquely our own. A signature strength is a strong quality that you have that helps you to be the best you can be. Acknowledging your strengths and building upon them can help you succeed when dealing with the challenges of the world. Some of these strengths could be bravery, creativity, curiosity, ability to work well as part of a team, being a good leader, loving to learn, or being hopeful. Values are those characteristics that you hold as important. Every choice you make in your day, you build upon your values, interests, and principles. When you think about and learn what you stand for, you can make conscious decisions that help direct the course of your life.

For this side of the cube, first make a list of your positive qualities. These strengths are things that you can build upon to become a more resilient person. Then, either write these positive qualities on a side of the cube or draw images that help you to remember and build upon these excellent strengths.

Resiliency & Coping Skills

Goal Setting & Relationships Goal Setting and Relationships - It is good to have a dream of what you want for your life. Your dream may change as you grow older but that is okay. You may not get the exact dream that you want, but by going towards it, you will get other good things. The old dream may change but new and exciting ones will come in if you put your mind on what you want and go after it. We all set goals for ourselves. Think about the difference you feel after people who know your goals support you or try to get you to change your mind. Your determination can be influenced by those people whom you surround yourself with. People who uplift you can help you achieve your goals much easier and faster than on your own.

On this side of the cube, draw a person who supports you, or an image or color that reminds you of that person. This person could be someone you have in your life now, did in the past, or even someone who you think would be a great mentor for you in the future.

Building Your Community Building Your Community - Loving, generous people are role models for how each of us can choose to live our lives. Kind people have learned a special secret-that it feels good to be giving. When kind people care about other people, they feel good themselves. It’s a win-win situation. Who is the most loving and kind person you know? Who do you admire for their ability to make others feel good? How do you feel around that person? How do they treat you? What do they do that makes you feel good about yourself? What have you learned from being around this person? How are you like this person you admire? Take a moment to notice other kids who are having a difficult time and try to help them.

For this last side of the cube, think about a time you helped others or how you could help others in the future. Create a picture, color, or image that will remind you to build relationships through building yourself up.