Domestic and Family Violence

IN THIS ARTICLE

• Common signs

• It’s not easy to escape

• Where to go for help

Domestic violence is when a person abuses and/or physically hurts their partner. Family violence is when a person abuses and/or physically hurts their family.

Both forms of violence can cause mental and physical issues for the individual and their families. In addition, victims of domestic or family violence have a high chance of acquiring a Traumatic Brain Injury due to physical blows to the head; or an hypoxic brain injury from lack of oxygen to the brain from being strangled.

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Common signs

Domestic and family violence includes things like:

• controlling what a person wears

• controlling who a person talks to

• controlling someone’s money

• keeping their partner or family locked in the family home

• controlling what their partner or family do

• being jealous all the time

• running them down – talking bad to them and behind their backs to others, &

• physical abuse – hurting them.

The person who is getting hurt is known as a victim. The victim can become really withdrawn. Meaning they may stay in the house or their room all the time and not go along to any special events or catch up with their friends or families. Usually, the person who is controlling the victim is a close loved one. They are known as a perpetrator.

Often the preparator puts on a good face in front of people, so it can be hard to see if they are hurting their loved ones as it happens behind closed doors. They also can make the victim feel very lonely and depend on them often making the victim think abusive behaviour is normal or believe the lies they tell:

“See, you make me angry that’s why I hit you.”

“Your family and friends don’t even like you. I am all you have.”

“I control everything. You’d be nothing without me.”

“I love you and I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.”

“Next time don’t open your mouth.”

“See what happens when you don’t listen ... listen next time!”

And it’s important to know, both men and women can be both the victims and perpetrators.

When it comes to family violence, our Elders are at risk.