Lee Dean: Creative Discipline, Corporal Punishment

Creative discipline, yes; corporal punishment, no

Lee A. Dean screendoor@sbcglobal.net Two stories are making the rounds early in this school year. A school board in Cassville, Missouri has voted to reinstate corporal punishment as a last resort method of discipline. The district made its decision based on feedback from parents who wanted an additional level of discipline. For a different parental view of discipline, consider this local tale about a kindergarten student who dropped the dreaded F-bomb on his teacher. The parents proclaimed to the teacher that the child was merely exercising his First Amendment rights and that any attempt at discipline would be met with a lawsuit. So much for “if you get in trouble at school, you’ll also be in worse trouble at home.” Would the return of the paddle be a deterrent to potty-mouthed fi ve-year-olds and other behavior problems? I have my doubts.

In my school years, I cannot remember a single case of spanking during the elementary years. Our teachers had other methods they used to keep us hooligans in line. Not all of them worked. In fi fth grade, my friend Don called our teacher an old sea hag. She told him write the sentence “Mrs. Flora is not an old sea hag” 100 times on the blackboard. Don promptly marched to the blackboard and started writing, “Mrs. Flora is an old sea hag.” Our laughter tipped her off to what was happening behind her, and Don was marched to the offi ce. The paddle may have been employed there, but he never said one way or the other. Corporal punishment increased exponentially once we got to high school. Teachers had their own weapons, carefully crafted in shop class. One of these models was made from thick fi berglass with holes dripped into it for aerodynamic and psychological effect. One teacher was well-known for his liberal use of “the board of education.” A new kid wasn’t aware of this teacher’s propensity for punishment. When the teacher walked into the classroom a couple minutes into the hour, the hapless student greeted him with the words, “Hello, Wamon, you’re late.”

The teacher, whose fi rst name was Ramon, froze in his tracks. We students were also chilled, certain we were about to witness a murder. A summons was issued: “(Last name), get up here!” The poor kid got it twice: once for calling the teacher by his fi rst name and again for sheer impudence. I got along well with this teacher except for the day my big yap got me in trouble. This teacher was also the basketball coach. One day in September, one of his star players committed a minor offense and received a mild tap on the glutes in return. At that point, to quote comedian Ron White, I had the right to remain silent but didn’t have the ability.” For some reason, I said to the teacher, “It looks like your arm isn’t warmed up yet.” The next sentence was all too predictable: “DEAN, GET UP HERE!” I receive one vigorous swat. “How’s my arm now?” he asked. “I think you’re warmed up just fi ne,” I said, while taking my burning buns back to my seat with an adjusted attitude. Corporal punishment could backfi re on a teacher even then. One day in third grade, the classroom door fl ew open and one of the mothers stormed in. She called her son to the front of the room and asked him to pull down his shirt collar. We could see three angry red claw marks where the teacher had grabbed his neck the day before. “If you do that to him again, I’m going to leave some marks on YOU!” she thundered at the teacher.

I hope that teachers and school districts leave the paddles in the history books. I was fortunate enough to witness this brilliant example of a better disciplinary method. One day, a female teacher told a male student to stop talking. He responded by shouting, “Don’t tell me what to do, you H.” “H?” the teacher replied, with eyebrows arched. “Yes, you’re nothing but a dirty H.” Then he pronounced the word. The teacher calmly wrote the word down on a piece of paper with its proper spelling: W-H-O-R-E. She knew he had heard the word but didn’t know what it meant. She asked him to look the word up in the dictionary. He did, and his face turned six shades of deep purple. “Do you really think that’s what I am?” the teacher asked. “No, ma’am,” he mumbled. Nothing else needed to be done or said. Her method of correction was far more effective than any corporal punishment. As for that foul-mouthed kindergartener and his enabling parents, I suggest they also consult a dictionary and look up the word “consequences.” If they carry their attitude into life much farther, life will give them a spanking — and they will have asked for it.