Crazy Like a Fox Travel Book test

Peace & Blessings My Sister in Survival & Strength, Like many of the women whom have come together on the Crazy Like a Fox Tour panel, I know what it is like to be labeled a statistic.

Even worse, I know what it’s like to internalize the thoughts and opinions of others, leading oneself to question her own sanity, ability, and even her validity. Too often, Black women are asked to be strong, to take the lead. Too often, we’re punished, ridiculed, and ostracized if we can’t live up to the expectations of being a Strong Black Woman.

What does a strong Black woman look like? She looks like a rape victim who dares to date, fall in love and trust new people. She looks like a young mother who barely had parents herself, raising what some would call “too many kids”, while putting herself through school. She looks like the mother who would love to stay in bed with her emot ions or even, a bottle of pills, but knows the kids must go to school, so she gets up to get them breakfast. Strength shows up in our lives every day in very different ways. There’s no one way to be a strong Black woman.

As an 8X author, mental health advocate, and life transition coach, I am often the one people come to for help or guidance. Not too long ago however, I was battling the same things many of you battle, low self-esteem, ridicule, being ostracized and stigmatized. Not only did I have what some would call a “seedy” past, but I also had a slew of medical problems to boot. I was told so many times what I couldn’t do, what would be forever out of my reach and how only those who came from more “worthy” backgrounds could have the life I desired and felt I deserved.

Always one to look obstacles dead in the eye, I am proud to say that not only have I accomplished all the things that they said I couldn’t, but I’ve went above and beyond. In doing so, I’ve been able to create amazing things like Stronger Than My Struggles, which started as a personal mantra and today is an international, soon to be global, movement. While STMS offers a variety of resources to survivors from all walks of life, one of the most important things we do, is curate safe spaces for deep and meaningful conversations around our lives, mental health and the people and circumstances we encounter as we deal with both.

As I like to say, I’m healing myself and bringing a whole gang of my fellow survivors with me.

We're honored to create spaces where strangers can become family and feel comfortable coming together to share their stories, their glory, and the lessons they’ve learned along their life journey. Never have we attempted to take the atmosphere of safety, love and motivation on the road. The Crazy Like a Fox Tour has blessed us with the opportunity to meet the most amazing group of women, all survivors, thriving in life despite their beginnings or the situations they’ve faced. Each woman epitomizes what it truly means to be Stronger Than My Struggles and I am honored to be able to team up with SwagHer Magazine to introduce you to them.

Whether you join us on the road, or follow us online, you can’t help but be inspired by the strength and tenacity to push past adversity and live free, help others, and be more than anyone ever thought she should, that the women all share.

Take some time to get to know the ladies of the Crazy Like a Fox Tour; you just may find your next mentor, partner or resource. If nothing else, you’ll certainly find inspiration.

Thank you for joining us along this healing journey.

Melony Hill Founder, Stronger Than My Struggles 1

Greetings All, When I was about 28, I called my brother one day and explained to him that I needed him to watch me and let me know when he thought my mind might be failing me, when I no longer seemed stable. I feared that I would no longer be mentally competent by the time I was 32, because I noticed that many of my family members began to change at about that age.

As a child, I would often hear my grandmother say I had bad nerves. In elementary school, classmates would say “oh, you crazy like yo' mama” or “yo' mama is crazy”, and for many years I laughed it off. By the time I got my first job, it was my supervisor, who mockingly called me “crazy” when I came in for work each day. While it hurt, it also confused me. I never got it.

Instead I ostracized myself and threw myself into my work or men, even as a teen. And yet, looking back it was actually in those late teenage years, that my mother really did receive her own diagnosis. She would have been about 32 at that time. And again, looking back, I remember we laughed. We didn't take it seriously.

I decided to write my LFTE last, because I needed time to gather my thoughts. Mental health is such a dear subject to me now and yet, it's still one of the hardest things for me to discuss at times. In the superficial world we live in, how does one admit to a mental health disorder and not be automatically dismissed or as Melony Hill describes “be counted out”? It's like the minute you say “this is a challenge”, people instantly think you can't handle it, whatever “it” may be, as if they too hadn't ever had to pause for an obstacle and then regroup mentally.

When presented with the opportunity to collaborate, I knew the Crazy Like a Fox Brunch Tour could be big, but just not how big or that it would be the first of its kind in history. Yet I jumped at the opportunity, even while battling my own bout of depression, because I knew how many times I hadn't even been considered, because others thought that I couldn't deal; because I knew how many times life had passed me by, because I couldn't beat my own mind at its game. However, I knew I was ready to have these conversations. I know that mental health is one of the biggest issues the Black community faces.

And on a personal note, it's one of the biggest issues my own family has faced. My grandmother saw my issues within me even as a small child, because she dealt with and still deals with those same issues today. Now as an adult myself, I see how trauma and pain has torn my family apart, and once I spotted it there, I began to recognize it in almost everyone. I better understood why people make the decisions they make and do what they do.

Ironically, so many think that others don't see behind their masks.

To read the awesome, unapologetic stories of all these sisters from different walks in life, whose trauma stems from various incidents, mental/emotional/physical/sexual abuse, loss, love, abandonment, the system, and so much more, and yet they share their stories with pride, transparency, and intellect that allows one to see several points: ▪ It's ok to not be ok.

▪ It's even better to go seek professional help OR practice a holistic approach.

▪ Do your own research while also getting to know and love yourself.

▪ There is a community of Black women from familar walks in life that are dealing with similar issues, and they are open to discussing them and healing together in a safe space, without judgment!

These women took their masks off and stood in their truths. Not only is this what so many women today need, but it's what our mothers, grandmothers, aunts- our male relatives need, our ancestors needed! It's an example for our children, and I am happy that SwagHer Magazine and I were able to be a part of it.

Peace and blessings,

Fancy 2

blackgorllostkeys.com

@blackgirllostkeys

lackgirllostkeys

René Brooks has taken a late-life diagnosis and used it to uplift others. After being diagnosed with ADHD three times, at age 25 she was finally able to get the treatment she deserved. She soon founded Black Girl, Lost Keys, a blog that empowers black women with ADHD and shows them how to live well with the disorder. René has contributed to ADDitude Magazine, Kaleidoscope Society, PBS's Roadtrip Nat ion, ADHD Rollercoaster, See in ADHD, Mindfully ADD, and ADHD Rewired.

Fancy: So you were diagnosed with ADHD for years, but you say you didn't receive the proper treatment.

Did you feel as if the treatment itself was not effective, or did you feel like those administering the treatment did not fully understand you or the severity of your situation?

Fancy: You have made a career out of your diagnosis, which is actually pretty cool, but prior to being able to embrace it, did you aspire to do something else in life?

René: I have wanted to write from a very young age.

When it was time to take my diagnosis public, I always knew I would do so through the written word. I’ve won awards for poetry and short stories, I’ve acted.

Creative expression is the lifeblood that sustains me.

So I’m in the fortunate position of being able to combine my story of growth through adversity along with the creativity I love.

René: Because of the stigma that exists around the diagnosis of ADHD, when my mother heard the diagnosis, she was reluctant to accept it. So unfortunately, I had to function through my disorder for many years. Untreated ADHD can lead to a host of issues including depression, anxiety, along with under employment, and lack of success in your career.

Leaving my ADHD untreated was holding me back from being who I truly am.

Fancy: Many of us say we think have we have adult ADHD, but from your personal opinion, when do we need to seriously look at the situation and seek professional advice?

Fancy: At what point did you decide to share your story to uplift and educate others?

René: Prior to my diagnosis, I would frequently hear that I wasn’t working up to my potential, and that frustrated me. I would sit and take that criticism over and over again, each time knocking my self esteem lower and lower. If you have always had difficulty paying attention, felt disorganized, and felt like you are constantly playing catch up in your own life, it is time to talk to a professional. Be completely honest with them, and the pros can guide you to exactly what you need.

René: Sharing my story was originally born of the loneliness I felt from never seeing any other black people speak about their ADHD. I resented having to learn all of these new skills as an adult when it all could have been learned during childhood, and I wanted to make sure no other child ever had to grow up with untreated ADHD again. I wanted to make sure I set other women who were struggling with untreated ADHD to learn how to live with their symptoms. I knew I had to use my life to spread awareness.

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I. Am. Still. Here. Four simple words that carry the weight of a story that is still unfolding, a journey still being traveled, and a destiny still being walked out.

Domestic violence survivor and advocate, Wanda Edwards began the first Volunteer Ministry for Women in crisis transition at her church in 2005. Shortly after, that she became a licensed minister.

Fancy: Can you share a little about how you exited your abusive relationship?

Wanda: Somewhere in the process of leaving the abuse, being diagnosed with depression and getting clean from drugs; I was introduced to this concept of telling my truth and I didn’t like it. It hurt, and it wasn’t pretty. My healing process took a long time, because I wasn’t willing or able to get honest. Once I was able to tell myself the truth and forgive myself, then I was able to begin to heal. Slowly peeling off the layers of shame, guilt, and embarrassment. Learning to tell the truth, my truth, is how I continue to heal.

Wanda: The truth is I had to escape. I tried leaving a few times, but it never worked as planned. My brother was getting married, and I knew he would let me go to the wedding. The weeks prior to the wedding my mother and my aunt would come to my house, while he was at work, and begin to take clothes, toys, etc out of the house. The day of the wedding was very chaotic and scary. I ended up having to get the police involved, because he would not let me take my daughters. We got out and made it to the wedding. My daughters and I entered a battered woman shelter (that’s what they were called then) for three months. That’s how I physically exited, the emotional and mental exit would take years.

Fancy: What type of toll does domestic violence play on one’s mental health?

Wanda: Generally domestic violence will exacerbate an issue that was already there but was not being addressed, such as low self-esteem, anger issues, etc.

Before a victim or abuser becomes a victim or abuser, they experienced something that caused them to process their emotional reactions in a self-destructive way. Depression is one of the major symptoms of being in an abusive relationship, as is substance abuse which is usually used to cope with the violence. Drugs and alcohol are mood and mind altering, so the ability to think clearly and rationally is blurred. In addition, if someone is being physically assaulted on a regular basis, they may also be traumatized. Trauma also causes a shift in our thinking and ability to process our reactions in a healthy way. The toll of domestic violence on mental health is a very big issue and one that is not always in the forefront of awareness.

Wandaedwardslbs.com

@uniquelywanda

Wanda.Edwards

Fancy: I know healing looks different to each individual, but what did healing look like for you?

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SheNesia (Nesi) Ewing is an award-winning and certified transformation life coach, international speaker, and author. Life Coach Nesi started UncoveringtheNewU, LLC in 2010 and completed life coaching school in June 2016. As a life coach, Nesi envisioned herself teaching women how to transition into their desired transformation through changing their perspective of how they see, react, and resolve the challenges of life. She reveals why it is important to have dreams, as they open the door for POSSIBILITY and creates OPTIONS. Ultimately, she shows them how to BE, transition them into BEING, and they learn how to BECOME the best version of themselves.

SheNesia: My transformation was God stripping me of everything. I lost my car, my job, my apartment, went through alcoholism, faced depression head on, and losing myself. I had to see that God was trying to force me to understand that the strength that I needed was already inside of me. He made me understand that I was a package that had not been opened, and I was trying to get others to do it for me. The contents inside of me were made for me to see and use for what he called me to do in this world.

So when I failed and fell hard, it was all because I was seeking external validation in the things in which I wasn’t called to do.

Fancy: Does your work ever take any effect on your mental well being?

Fancy: At what point did you discover that part of your purpose was to coach others pursuing their dreams?

SheNesia: It used to. I was trying to get people to understand the need for transforming, the need to Heal from their past in order for them to have a Healthy present. I had to understand that people have to be READY for change. They have to WANT to change. I HAD to change, because there wasn’t anything left for me to do. I don’t want anyone to have to go through what I did especially if they do not have to.

SheNesia: When I began to see more women like me going through similar situations. I began to see more women become single mothers; I saw more women were beaten down through the labels of what society says they should be or would not be able to become. I saw more women losing themselves in the midst of relationships. I saw more women believing that life was over just because they were now mothers.

www.AuthorNesiEwing.com

Fancy: I know everyone’s transformation does not look the same, but what did transformation look like for you?

@lifecoachnesi @lifecoachnesi @lifecoachnesi

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V

eronica Pryor-Faciane is the CEO/founder of New ID Life Coaching LLC. This wife and mother of four beautiful children authored the newly released book entitled God’s Diamond in The Rough (released March 2019). Those who choose to take this journey with Veronica, will gain insight of how to travel through life’s challenges/obstacles and not allow life's journey to go through them, which leads to stress, depression, anxiety, and the possible thoughts of suicide.

Fancy: What was it that led you to attempt suicide?

Veronica: I was tired of being abused feeling like there was no other way out. I wanted to feel clean and have peace of mind.

My abuser gave me the impression that I would never be at peace if he was alive, because I was his property. On this specific day (February 16, 2002), he tried to turn one of my true friends against me then he made fun of me the entire evening of what was supposed to be a joyous occasion, my cousin’s wedding. I was taking care of every bill, I was being misused daily sexually, and I felt like God had abandoned me.

Fancy: Did surviving your attempt push you any? If so, how?

Veronica: Yesssss, it pushed me to my next. When you attempt suicide, you must be declared mentally sane by the coroner before your release from the mental institution. My conversation with the coroner had me stop and take a deep breath (metaphorically speaking). He explained that based on the toxicology report, I should not be alive. Yes, I should have transitioned to my next, but God had other plans for me. I experienced bittersweet emotions upon him telling me this. I was grateful, because I didn’t take the time to think about how my death would have affected the children I was directing in church at the time. Yes, I was a choir director. It was a sad state to be in church and still feel all alone.

I thank God for looking at my heart and knowing that I felt hopeless and just wanted a way out, but I really didn’t want it to end like that. I can almost emphat ically state that most people who attempt suicide just want a pain of some sort to end. They don’t really want to leave, if that specific state of mind would just be eased and placed at peace. This is one of the reasons I went to school to become a life coach, and now I am back in school to receive another master’s degree in counseling.

www.newidlifecoaching.com

@newid888

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@veronica.faciane

Mary Joyner is a 39 year- old native of Delaware and wife of 17 years with four beautiful children. She is also a certified mental health recovery coach and a peer volunteer for NAMI Delaware, a volunteer for the Mental Health Associat ion, and an advocate for Children and Family First. As she utilizes Herbalife to keep a healthy balance in her life, she's also a certified Herbalife coach.

Fancy: Are mental health issues common within your family?

Mary: To be honest, I would say that they are on both parts, father and mother. However, neither has addressed them, because I don’t even think that they are aware that they have them.

Fancy: How does incest take a toll on one’s mental health?

Five years ago, Mary was diagnosed with Bi-polar, PTSD and anxiety. However, after research and learning more about the illness, she now knows that she has battled with these illnesses since she was a teenager and never knew it. Mary is a survivor. She survived child physical, sexual, and emotional abuse, incest, and two suicidal attempts. After suffering a mental health break and being hospitalized, Mary has worked really hard to maintain her own mental health and help others overcome their trauma. Dive into Mary's mental health story.

Mary: Incest takes a toll of one’s life, because as a child you almost feel like its normal. At least in my case, I did for a while. Due to this confusion when you’re younger and you see all your friends enjoying regular lives, you then become sad and depressed, because your life is not so simple. Many times for me, I wanted to die. In my case there were always threats, intimidation, beat ings, humiliations, and harassment, but also in a funny and strange way some form of affection. You find yourself trying to love the person, in my case my father, but he was doing all these horrible things to me. Then your left trying to figure out why me?

Fancy: Have you been able to forgive your abuser?

Mary: Yes I have, there are times that I wish I could share with him the hurt and pain he has caused me, but he is not ready for that conversat ion.

Fancy: I know healing looks different to each individual, but what did healing look like for you?

Mary: Healing starts with this tour for me, I have never spoken out about my abuse. I have shared with my husband, but my children don’t even know my story.

Healing for me is finding peace within. Being able to tell my father how I feel. Healing is an everyday process for me. Healing is growth and letting go, honestly letting go. Healing is sharing my story and helping someone through such a painful process.

Healing is finally not blaming myself for what has happened to me.

Instagram: @beautfiullymade_4 Facebook: FitMom Joyner

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Award-winning founder and CEO of Miizmisha’s World of Empowerment, Thamicha Isaac, is an openly positive HIV activist of a global HIV empowerment movement that is garnering Isaac and her cause recognition for her work. Her dedication and compassion for individuals and communities affected by HIV has Thamicha on a mission to not only change lives, but to also empower individuals to fight for themselves and not allow a positive diagnosis to deter them from living out their life’s dreams, while bringing awareness and HIV education to communities worldwide.

Learn more about the motivational speaker/ activist/entrepreneur and her mental health story below.

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Fancy: How would you describe your swagher?

What makes Thamicha, Thamicha?

Fancy: I know healing looks different to each individual, but what did healing look like for you?

Thamicha: I would describe my swagher as resilient, bold, brave, lovable, respectful, prayerful, but most of all hopeful, because without any of those self belief attributes, I wouldn’t be able to survive most things that I’ve been through. So for me, my swagher is fiercely ready to spread my wings and live a vivacious life. Thamicha can be many things, lol. She is a dynamic powerful woman; loving and caring mother; one of the most loyal friends you can find; a devoted daughter and sister, and a voice for the voiceless.

Thamicha: Wow that’s a great question, lol. Healing for me is a journey. It’s a journey, because I believe we heal everyday when choosing to let go or move past things. So healing for me is letting go of things that no longer serve me, choosing to be love, light, and happiness no matter what’s going on around me at the present moment.

Fancy: At what point did you decide to share your story to uplift and educate others?

Thamicha: I was at rock bottom, jobless, homeless, living in a hotel room with my kids, and no medical coverage for about six months. I needed help; I was tired of living oppressed by others limitations of who they think I should be to suit their own needs.

Meanwhile I was slowly losing myself, stifling who I truly am and what I was created to be or do; so I decided that it was time the world knows that HIV has no face, it doesn’t discriminate, and that you can be as fabulous as me with HIV. You don’t have to live in a box like people want you to.

Fancy: When were you diagnosed with HIV and can you describe what that was like?

Thamicha: I received my diagnosis at 19 years old; I had gone for a routine visit. It was devastating. I remember sitting in a room with a guy (a testing counselor), and he showed me the paper with a big red positive sign written on it. I asked “What is this?', and he nodded his head “yes” to me, as to indicate that I am positive. I started crying as he walked out the room, and I still had tears in my eyes, when a lady came in. She looked at me and said that I was going to be okay and that HIV was not a death sentence anymore. But in my mind, all I was thinking is 'I’m going to die.' I hadn’t even lived my life yet, and I'd fled my country from an abusive relationship to later find out a year later that I’m HIV positive and alone in a foreign land; I became very depressed and suicidal. I isolated myself from the world, because I was looking at all the negative aspects, instead of the positive ones. My case worker that was assigned and the classes helped me understand what was happening in my body, and as t ime moved on I found love, birthed my first born son, and got married. Both of my sons and ex’s are HIV negative.

Fancy: What inspired you to take part in the Crazy Like a Fox Tour?

Thamicha: I looked at the requirements, submitted, and got accepted. I started reading some of the other speakers' stories from the tour, and I was like “Ok God; I see you”. I felt that I was in great company, and my story would be an excellent addition to this tour given it’s content, Black powerful women telling their stories and changing lives and living their truths my kind of people!

Fancy: So tell us a little about Miizmisha’s World of Empowerment.

Thamicha: MiizMisha’s World Of Empowerment came about in 2012, when I started selling Mary Kay and I saw how the top consultants and directors were making money selling make up and telling their stories. I knew I wanted to make an impact on the world not just the circle I was around. I decided to create a Facebook group name Openly Positive where I would be vulnerable and be completely transparent with myself and everyone else. Our mission is to create a sacred place that will encourage, empower, enlighten, educate, uplift, and inspire those who are infected and affected by HIV/AIDS.

www.openlypositive.com www.miizmishasworldofempowerment.com

@Openlypositive

facebook.com/MiizMishasworld

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Fancy: How would you describe your swagher?

What makes Graciela, Graciela?

Queen Ardaku Mansah: My swagher is an ultra modern, insightful persona that deeply hears emotions and responds with care and caution. I take into consideration the other person's perspective, I put myself in their shoes, then respond to my best capability with positive energy and corny jokes.

What makes me, me are the years of having love in east Baltimore on Luzerne Avenue as a child, the 'fights and back to being friends' attitudes, the 'it takes a village' caring that was going on then in the early 1960's. Neighbors hanging out windows would tell you to stop doing wrong and then tell your parents..The agony of losing friends to drugs that came into the areas. The inability to clearly understand mental issues not being addressed and people hurting themselves and children with violence from lack of treatment. The real life experiences I incurred as a fire fighter and emergency medical technician, coming to homes for overdoses or unusual acting out, blackouts, etc. in the Black communities. My thirst and love of Black History and anthropology that led me to follow my father, a Tuskegee Airman, Chief of Engineers, and flight instructor James Blackstone Sr. During the Tuskegee Experiment, the Black military airmen were given chemicals as an experiment by the government. These types of experiments were also taking place throughout the country by major medical divisions in Black communities. Mental issues were are are still rampant. The same trials happened in Africa.

A highly sought after successful business woman and land developer, Graciela Blackstone is a woman who has taken control of her life and paved her own way.

Coming from a fifth generation farming family, a descendant of Alex Haley, Graciela has always taken pride in her heritage and hard work. Now an enstooled Queen in Ghana, the Baltimore native has created and operated businesses in multiple industries.

I am enstooled as a Queen of Development in Ghana.

A big part of my development there, as it is also here in America, is to bring to light mental issues that were induced through our bloodstreams as experiments. , how to work with the women who were affected and assist with their children's issues.

Over the years, her family owned business, Blackstone Development, was instrumental in the construction of well-known Baltimore structures such as Camden Yards. The diverse business woman once owned and operated a restaurant, Cafe Distinction, in downtown Baltimore. She has operated as a licensed landscaper, electrician, has served in the U.S. military and even was a volunteer fire fighter for 10 years.

Fancy: At what point did you decide to share your story to uplift and educate others?

Queen Ardaku Mansah: Well, I was speaking at a JT FOXX event in Baltimore City, regarding outreach and business to Africa. I met Melony Hill at that event. Her openness and sincere approach to mental illness and reading of her book, helped me know this was a person I would like to know and possibly do something together on behalf of society in the Black communities.

In 2017, Graciela was enstooled as Development Queen of Obilieman-Opah and is now working with the government in Ghana to create new, sustainable communities. Her royal title is Naa Adaku Mansa I. Learn more about Queen Ardaku and her work below.

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Fancy: What inspired you to take part in the Crazy Like a Fox Tour?

Queen Ardaku Mansah: I am still obtaining dual citizenship. But yes, there is a huge difference in Ghana and America. Ghana has a lot of input from England. Ghana st ill operates with the parliament in London. America has some the top mental health facilities in the world. Ghana has many areas that still need infrastructure and roads to allow access for the citizens to care. It does however, have 250,000 unemployed college graduates. Those in mental health professions are being employed into the needy areas to provide assistance. A new drone delivery of medications has started to provide medicine to remote areas also.

Queen Ardaku Mansah: The fact that Melony shared her story and that I would have the chance to speak personally with other women about their mental illness experiences. The opportunity to build an alliance of like-minded women on a path of healing that could align with what I'm doing and expand into a international program for great things.

Fancy: You yourself hadn’t been diagnosed with a mental health disorder, but mental health affects 98% of your family’s home and the country of Ghana. What type of work do you do to help to combat this illness there?

Fancy: From researching, it appears that Ghanaian women are more oppressed than the men. How do you think that affects their mental health?

Queen Ardaku Mansah: I've had to spend a lot of time in Ghana evaluating the living conditions and observing the cultural differences between here and there. Most importantly, I observed the spiritual beliefs and attitudes to make sure I was not unjustly identifying what I was seeing wrongly. Many of the African-belief cultures include dances, trances, and spiritual beliefs, that in the past were wrongly analyzed by westerners and Europeans.

Queen Ardaku Mansah: Ghanaian women have the immense pressure of handling the loss of jobs. The educational system there requires parents to pay for uniforms and school books. The youth make up a big part of the population. Many are unemployed and the recruitment into bad and/or militant groups is a threat.

Lack of clean water and medical assistance is also stressful. Above all, I feel and have seen great pride and respect of African women by the community as a whole. Optimism and spiritual beliefs bring their look on life above ours here in America. They still cook daily and eat healthy. With additional services and job creation, mental issues can be bought under control.

This allowed me to really pinpoint things that can be addressed with the King, Chiefs, and the Departments of Mental Assistance in the Ghana Government in the near future. I am a new Queen there, enstooled in 2017. It took time to analyze and I am still working on it, along with many other issues.

Fancy: What inspirational nugget would you care to share with our readers?

Fancy: Do you think Ghana's Mental Health Bill that the World Health Organization helped to draw up is helping with this problem any?

Queen Ardaku Mansah: Don't judge! Just when you think you have it all together, life can knock you down.

Mental health is a real issue, but not an excuse to mock people.

Queen Ardaku Mansah: Absolutely, the Ghana Mental Health Bill through the World Health Organization depicts the kinds of issues and solutions needed for a vast majority of people in stressful environments around the world. By working in conjunction with world class medical and physiology professionals and utilizing think tanks, the bill has created the most healthy approach in customizing mental health solutions.

Fancy: As a dual citizen would you say there is any difference in the advancement in the care aspect of mental health in the US versus Ghana?

Website: http://www.kingoyanka.com/blog

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Deborah Schrepper, LPN, CHC “The Harmony Coach” is the CEO and founder of Harvesting Life’s Lessons and she is a best-selling author of “A Walk in My Garden” and her latest book is "Her Secret Sins - Her Journey from Prostitution to Princess". Deborah is a seasoned and requested speaker and mentor.

Deborah: I do suffer from PTSD from the things I've had to do while living that lifestyle. Often I have flashbacks and find myself having to meditate myself out of that old mentality of desperat ion. Even though it was 25 years ago, it's fresh in my mind and often leaves me feeling worthless. I have learned that prayer and meditation are my rescuers in every attack that I have or any depression period.

Fancy: Did your sexual assault occur before or during your time as a prostitute?

Deborah: It was mostly during the time that I was a sex worker. I never wanted to say anything to anyone for fear of judgment, and I could not report the incidents due to that reason.

Fancy: I know healing looks different to each individual, but what did healing look like for you?

Deborah: Healing to me looks like a life long road.

Individuals must realize healing does not happen overnight and expectations should not be as such.

Healing happens as we live life without fear. Healing needs to happen with every new obstacle we encounter, and for me writing was pivotal. I felt like I couldn’t talk to anyone (even today), so the only way to release my heavy load was and is to write my feelings.

Fancy: Can you describe the point in your life where you decided to leave the streets and become a holistic coach?

Deborah: I became a nurse 12 years ago and a certified holistic life coach in 2017. I was a drug addict and prostitute from the ages of 21 – 24, ending in 1994. Even though it was a short time spent in the streets, I always knew that my rough road was meant to serve as inspiration to others by showing them there is hope and that they are stronger than what they have been through. I never want others to feel alone in their struggles, as I did. By speaking openly of my past, it has inspired others to share their stories and in doing so, freeing a part of them that otherwise continues to feel trapped by their past.

Website: www.harvestinglifeslessons.com Website: www.harmonygoal.com Facebook: @harvestinglifeslessons Facebook: @Deborahschrepper Facebook: @theharmonycoach Instagram: @harvestinglifeslessons

Fancy: I often think people don’t understand the mental impact and trauma that one encounters in sex work. How did your experiences play a toll on your mental health?

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Ericka L. Mcknight is a mother of three, a philanthropist, a multi-award winning international bestselling author, keynote speaker, and CEO of ELM Realty Firm, with over 17 years of real estate experience. She is also the CEO of ELM School of Real Estate, LLC and is currently running for Mayor of Waxhaw, NC. Ericka has obtained numerous awards including 2019 Philanthropist of the Year, Humanitarian of The Year, NAACP Honoree, along with multiple Author of the Year and Entrepreneur of the Year awards.

Fancy: Please share about a little about your UnInstalling Negativity trilogy?

Fancy: Do you mind sharing two tips for identifying signs of an unhealthy relationship?

Ericka: “Silence the Noise” and the Un-installing Negativity trilogy speaks to the people, places and things, such as the labels people may call us, devastating situations, or familiar places of heartache, that once or still have the ability to negatively impact our lives. We discuss how to overcome those challenges.

Ericka: Sure, never date a narcissist. They will manipulate you and disassociate you from all of your family and friends. Beware of being second throughout dating or during your relationship, meaning everyone and everything else comes first.

Fancy: From your work, do you have any suggestions on how domestic violence or the survivors of abuse can be handled?

Fancy: From your research and your friend’s experiences, what type of toll does domestic violence play on one’s mental health?

Ericka: Yes, just be a listening ear and a judgment free zone. Handle them with kitten gloves, keeping in mind they have already been through trauma. Have available several resources of different types to refer as future tools.

Ericka: It can encompass the individual as a whole by crippling and handicapping the individual(s) from living a successful life. Domestic violence leaves most people hopeless and helpless, questioning whether they have a place here on earth. God never intended for anyone to be abused.

www.silencethenoiseelm.com www.elmschoolofrealestate.com

E. Mcknight- Silence the Noise

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Dr. Sarah Williams-Tolliver, NCC,LPC, EAS-C is the owner of Covenant Way Clinical Counseling and host of her own television show. She has also been featured in A&E’s television show “Intervention” as a Clinical Consultant.

As a mental health awareness advocate and a clinician, Dr. Sarah specializes in the care of women of color that have shared experiences. She is licensed by the Commonwealth of Virginia Department of Health Professions as a Professional Counselor and board certified as a National Certified Counselor with the National Board of Cert ified Counselors. Further, Dr. Sarah has completed specialized training and certifications in grief, stress, and trauma.

However as a widow and mother, Dr. Sarah also knows grief and she even battled with postpartum depression and trauma. From her experiences as a special needs parent, Dr. Sarah works with other parents that have a child diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder (ASD), and her completed doctoral dissertation "Understanding the experiences of women, graduate student stress and lack of marital social support a mixed method inquiry" has been published.

Fancy: At what point did you decide to share your story to uplift and educate others?

and appreciate the scars and wounds for the healing and strength that they bring.

Dr. Sarah: I can’t recall an “aha moment” exactly, but for me it was a progression. I have always struggled with confidence. So even though I had a testimony I held back out of fear. I had to take gradual baby steps to get me to a place that I share fearlessly.

Fancy: Can you share some warning signs of postpartum depression?

Dr. Sarah: Some of the warnings signs are: 1. Your “baby blues” doesn’t get better after a few weeks 2.

You feel ongoing guilt or feelings of inadequacy. 3.

Loss of interest in social activities 4. Your sleep patterns change. 5. You have thoughts of suicide.

Fancy: So what type of toll does caring for a special needs child play on your mental health?

Dr. Sarah: Caring for a child with special needs requires a daily type of resilience that most people are not even capable of. I learn so much about myself and others by having a child with special needs.

Fancy: Do you think postpartum depression is diagnosed accurately and treated properly within the Black and Brown communities?

Dr. Sarah: Like most public health concerns, the prevalence of PPD is under diagnosed. We have this “shero” mentality that often prevents us from getting help when needed.

Fancy: I know healing looks different to each individual, but what did healing look like for you?

Dr. Sarah: When you wake up and look in the mirror 14

Taryn Goldsmith is an author and the founder of Mood Swingin Inc, A Minority Mental Health Awareness Organization. At the age of sixteen, seeking therapy after the loss of her mother led to her being diagnosed with major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder. As an adult having bipolar disorder and PTSD added to her list of diagnosis put into perspective what she had been dealing with for most of her life.Using her pain as motivat ion she has become an advocate for the youth and mental health.

Fancy: Was your family supportive of your mental health battle throughout your adolescence?

Taryn: Unfortunately, I cannot say that they were very supportive. If I'm being honest, I don't think that anyone was aware that I had any mental health concerns, until my mother died when I was 16. Given the circumstances surrounding when they did take notice, they attributed the concern only to her death.

Everyone else dealt with her absence much better than I, and I remember being told that I was using her death as a crutch. They were not aware of the fact that I'd attempted suicide when I was eight, that I used to cut when I was ten, that I hid feelings of worthlessness and not belonging all throughout my preteen and teenage years. Part of the reason that no one knew what I was going through, was because in the black community mental health is a taboo topic, especially a child feigning mental health concern. They would quickly be met with statements like, "What you got to be depressed about?" or just be dismissive altogether. On the other side, I'm stuck between the idea that either I was so good at acting like everything was okay that they did not notice or that they did not want to acknowledge for whatever reason.

Fancy: Do you feel like we, as a society, are properly handling teen mental health issues? If not, how can we improve?

Taryn: I do not believe that we are handling teen mental health issues properly or children's mental health in general ,and I think that is heavily evident by the increasing suicide rate among children, teens and young adults.

To start we have to be present, listen to what the children are saying and not invalidate what they are expressing or judge them. We have to be mindful of the pressures and stressors of growing up in the current culture. We have to abandon the 'kids will be kids' mentality. At the same time that we are teaching resilience, we also need to be teaching accountability and taking suitable corrective measures for bad behavior. We need to normalize conversation surrounding mental health with children and teens, so that they can feel comfortable opening up.

Website: moodswingin.org 15

Cymone Lashae is a passionate, driven young woman who, while personally affected by mental illness turned that into an opportunity to advocate for other survivors with a diagnosis or overcoming trauma. She is the founder of the non-profit, Of a Sound Mind, whose goal is to help others overcome trauma and also to stop the stigma on mental illness by raising awareness and attempting to normalize mental illness.

Fancy: What mental illness do you battle, and do you mind sharing a little about your trauma?

Cymone: I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder Type II, PTSD with some Borderline Personality Disorder traits as well. With that comes the anxiety, depression, flashbacks, nightmares and other symptoms. I have experienced a variety of different traumas that contribute to some of these symptoms. I dealt with major abandonment and rejection issues after being separated and sent across the country, away from my immediate family, at the age of 16. I also dealt with the emotional abuse of a parent. I am a domestic violence survivor as well.

Fancy: It has been noted that many times in the faith-based, Black community that those struggling with mental health issues are often dismissed or cast aside.

What are your thoughts on the matter?

find that most people just don’t know how to respond. I do a lot of informing and educating. I have very little negative feedback anymore. I’ve pretty much learned to ignore ignorance and block out negativity.

Cymone: Speaking from personal experience, being a part of an African American family that did not always support my recovery or acknowledge my mental health issues was very tough. There was a specific time where I was encouraged to stop medication but then they watched me immediately spiral back into depression.

Fancy: I know healing looks different to each individual, but what did healing look like for you?

Cymone: As far as faith is concerned, it bothered me that so many times I was told to “pray the depression away”.

Depression and other mental illness is not treated the same as any other physical illness in the church and that has been very concerning to me. Also, I feel that church should be a place where you can go get help whether you’re having a mental health crisis or need the support.

Many ministers and churches are not equipped to deal with these instances as they occur. The church should be a place to go for help and a setting that is properly prepared and sensitive to the needs of those with mental health issues.

Transitioning from this situation to an environment where I received more family support regarding my recovery process, was a big help in me getting proper treatment. Now that I’m a lot more open about my mental health issues, I

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Jasmine J. Moore is a three time best selling author, mentor, philanthropist, tv/radio personality, and inspirational speaker. She is a self proclaimed “Purpose Partner.” Jasmine vows that as your purpose partner she will hold YOU accountable for completing action steps, studying yourself, and most importantly staying positive through the whole process of gaining the intrinsic ability to live in your purpose.

Professionally, Jasmine carries the title of social worker where she has held positions from Youth and Women’s Counselor to Executive Director over a period of 10 years.

Jasmine: The stigma attached to mental health in the hood is so real, and we need to change that narrative.

You have all these women claiming to be “Strong Black Women” but don’t understand they are killing themselves inside. Between poor health, poor mental health, and being poor it’s pretty much a set up.

However, that is the reason why I continue to go back to reach young women and girls the things I didn’t know growing up.

Jasmine is a wife, mother, daughter, sister, and mentor to many your women whom she identifies with in many unique ways. Women are able to relate to her through her various testimonies from growing up in a low income community in Atlantic City, fighting through life’s obstacles, and excelling both professionally and educationally despite of her hardships and her undiagnosed mental health issues.

She was later diagnosed with manic depression and anxiety.

Jasmine: A four step process from the onset, the cleaning of the pain, to the maturat ion, and remodeling of your life. In my late 20’s, I realized that the path after my pain would help women who are still going through some of the things that I had experienced. Ladies, we have to realize that scars do not have to be permanent or negative things. Just as one would learn in biology, scar tissue is part of the normal healing process. However, scar tissue that has not been properly remolded ensures a life of worrisome health complications. If you’re anything like me, then you are not a fan of biology or chemistry; but it’s so amazing how we can analogize our womanly healing with the biological and systematic phases of physical healing. In biology, if you allow a physical wound to heal properly, you minimize the chances of getting a visible scar or even having a scar form at all.

Yet, we get so caught up in moving past the pain, we don’t recognize the necessity of focusing on the healing process and the path that follows it.

Fancy: I know healing looks different to each individual, but what did healing look like for you?

After her debut as an author and receiving great feedback from her self-help book for teens and young adults “Because No One Told Me,” she understood that there was a need for healing amongst women.

She prayed and sought God and after receiving clear direction from God she birthed this creative piece, “No Longer Scarred,” with an ongoing theme showing women that their “Scars Don’t have to be Permanent!”

Fancy: How does growing up in poverty affect your mental health?

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Pamela Price is the CEO/Founder of the Life Ministry Foundation (also known as L.M. Foundation) and the Executive Director of the Unheard Voices TM Talk Radio Show, a Radio One program. Ms. Price created the L.M. Foundation with a mission to give hope to those who need it most! At L.M. Foundation, it aims to rebuild hope where it’s been damaged or lost and to work to rebuild and restructure with those in need,

Pamela: Mental health plays a major part in the communities we work in. The hurt and pain they’ve experience, traumatic life experiences, domestic violence survivors, homelessness and hunger.

Fancy: Why are you passionate about making certain those same people’s voices are heard?

Pamela: I’ve experienced a lot of hurt and pain throughout my life. I admit I’ve made quite a few bad decisions that created some of the experiences, but through God’s grace and mercy, I am able to use my hurts and pains to help someone that may not have a strong network or nowhere to go. I had a lack of knowledge about a lot of things which led to bad decisions. I want to share my knowledge and be an encouragement to those that feel lost and believe no one cares.

Website: www.lifeministryfoundat ion.org LMF Instagram: @lmfoundation1 LMF Facebook: facebook.com/lifeministryfoundation LMF Twitter: @LMFoundation1 Website: www.pricep3.com P. Price Instagram: @p.arleneprice P. Price Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pricepamela2 Twitter: @PArleneprice

those who are underprivileged, and those who are under-served. The focus lies on community efforts, including small-scale construction protects, shelter, food aid, community awareness, and educational opportunities. L.M. Foundation firmly believes it takes a village to raise a child, and if you work on creating the most well-equipped society you can, so many problems simply work themselves out. She created such grassroot programs as Different Is Beautiful TM, a mentoring program for middle to high school students and scholarship program for first time college students, Aspiring 2B A Better METM, works with families who are survivors of domestic violence.

Ms. Price believes it is important to put back in to the community and to help the next generation.

Fancy: What sparked your interest in psychology?

Pamela: I’ve always be interested in how the mind thinks and what causes a person to react in certain situations.

Fancy:How does mental health play a part in your work with the community?

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without her. For nine months, I prepared to meet my daughter face to face, hear her cry, see her beautiful eyes and hold her warm body, and one month before she was due, that was taken away from me. It was a very traumatic experience for me, as it is for many others. It is extremely depressing to know that you have to go through labor and delivery to birth a still baby. You feel hopeless, isolated, guilty and unloved. I wondered constantly if there was something that I did to cause her death, was there something that I could have done to prevent her death. I made many suicide attempts in efforts to escape the pain that I was feeling. The feelings of shame and guilt were overwhelming.

Fancy: What inspired you to take part in the Crazy Like a Fox Tour?

Sadija: When I saw the call for speakers about Black mental health, especially for women I knew I had to join. My mission is to break the silence around stillbirth and infant loss, and what better way than to join a group of phenomenal black women living with and conquering mental illnesses? I want to let the community see what the face of a woman that is in the 1 in 4 women that will suffer pregnancy loss looks like. It’s one thing to read statistics, but it’s another thing to actually stare one in the face.

Sadija A. Smiley is committed to improving the quality of life outcomes for underserved, minority, and low-income communities. She currently serves as Executive Director of Sinai House, a Washington, DC program that enables families to move from homelessness to independence by providing safe and affordable housing and comprehensive social services. In November 2017, Sadija founded St illborn and Infant Loss Support, INC (SAILS), dedicated to raising awareness and creating a supportive environment for families who have experienced a stillbirth. She is passionate about this organization and founded it to honor the life of her daughter, Ivyanna Salene, who was born sleeping November 13, 2003. She is now the mother of two rainbow babies (a child born after a loss) Kamryn and Kennedy.

Fancy: What inspirational nugget would you care to share with our readers?

Sadija: I would like to share with survivors and those connected to survivors. For the survivor, I would say YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Please be kind to yourself, this is a marathon not a sprint. Don’t rush your healing, allow time and space to grieve. You will move forward from this experience, and you will take your baby(ies) with you. For those connected to survivors, I would say be present. They need you to be present with them in their pain. Check on them, bring a meal, watch a movie with them and remind them that it’s not their fault. Ask about the baby; we want nothing more than to make sure that they are not forgotten. Finally, be patient, don’t rush them through their grief. I know you want to see them smiling and laughing again, but it may be awhile before that happens and that’s ok.

Fancy: What type of mental toll does the loss of a child inflict?

Sadija: A parent losing a child defies the natural order of life. You never think that you would outlive your child. When I was told that my daughter no longer had a heartbeat, at 36 weeks pregnant, I was devastated.

Immediately I began to think that I could not live

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/sadija-a-smiley-mbab58b53131/ Instagram: @_bornintosilence 19

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alerie Stancill is the founder of Cloud9 Wellness Healing Center, a holistic wellness center committed to empowering women to take control of their lives. She is a licensed massage therapist, certified holistic wellness coach, Yoni practitioner, author, and speaker. In addition, she is a contributing writer for Stay Focused Magazine and Smart Guys, LLC. In addition, she hosts Wellness with V on pqradio1.com, The V-Spot, and has been a speaker for several pulmonary hypertension support groups. As a widow, Valerie’s passion is to help women who have suffered loss, depression, and grief. She also opened her wellness center for women to have a place to escape and recharge, de-stress and take time for selfcare. She realized as a caregiver for 14 years that you give your life for someone else and tend to neglect yourself.

Valerie: My depression started in the beginning of his diagnosis, the only issue was I was not aware, but knew I was being and feeling different. I noticed I didn’t want to do anything or go anywhere. I used his illness to justify my desire to just be alone. I would often find myself staying in my room away from him and everyone. I would cry uncontrollably in private, but in public I had to continue my strong woman persona.

Fancy: I know healing looks different to each individual, but what did healing look like for you?

Valerie: Healing looked like something that was never going to manifest. I wanted to stay in my bitterness, anger, and loneliness. I felt this was the best choice since losing my husband was devastating, and I just didn’t want to live. I knew I wanted to write, but wasn’t sure how to begin. I attempted to write at least 4 times, only to revisit my pain and continue my depression, but going deeper. Writing my books when I became ready, allowed me to revisit my journey, to find humor in some of our days. The moment I found laughter in my writing and smiling at things my husband did, I realized I was healing from my pain. I finally came to the realization that I did my best and made the best choices for him. My writing allowed me to put to paper all my feelings of anger, depression, bitterness, and the list goes on. Writing helped me to heal and become whole again.

Fancy: What was it like it going from wife to caregiver for your husband?

Valerie: Going from wife to caregiver for my husband in the beginning was a no-brainer. It’s what you do, it’s the vows you take, 'in sickness and in health, until death do us part'. Needless to say, in the 14-year journey, never did I realize my depression and grief starting several months after his diagnosis. Living life totally in a state of denial and working so hard to be sure he was good, I forgot about myself and my health. I am just now coming back to myself.

Fancy: What type of toll does caring for loved one and them being dependent on you play on one’s mental health?

Website: www.valeriestancill.com Instagram: @authorvstancil Facebook: @PHighting With Purpose 20

Alma Thomas is a minister, author, motivational speaker, consultant and coach, as well as she is the founder and executive director of Alma Collins Thomas Ministries. Alma's two passions are working with the youth and empowering women, and says her favorite topic is purpose and helping people to find out why they are on this earth and living the life that God meant for us to live.

The mantra that Alma lives by is her favorite quote, “I don't feel no ways tired I have come too far from where I started from, despite all of the obstacles that I have had to face in my life, I am still standing, and I don't look like the hell I have been through.�

Fancy: Oftentimes, when the subject of mental health is approached to those who are strongly faith-based, prayer is suggested. Do you think that is solely the solution or that it is only a part of a solution, if any at all?

Alma: Prayer is only a part of the solutions there will be times when people will need more than prayers.

Fancy: From your experiences, how common are mental health issues within the church?

Alma: Mental health issues are very common, but they are often swept under the rug or a bandage is put over it, but the situation only gets worse, and if it is not addressed properly, it will make the person think it's them. When in reality, the church was not equipped to deal with the person's mental health.

Fancy: I know healing looks different to each individual, but what did healing look like for you?

Fancy: How does mental health play a part in your ministry?

Alma: Healing is accepting the fact that it is ok not to be ok and to seek professional help outside the church.

Alma: I understand that it is ok to not be ok and that mental health is the same as physical health. You have to seek professional help and follow the doctor's advice, and that as a minister, I am not a mental health specialist. So I refer people to go to the professionals.

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young black boy from the inner city will likely receive one diagnosis versus a white boy from the suburbs. Because of the different backgrounds, different reports really impact how the child gets diagnosed.

Fancy: As the US is now somewhat taking mental health more seriously, as the child of immigrants, would you say mental health is also taken seriously and accepted within your family’s original culture?

where she had her first mentor, to pilot the first mental health program geared towards children by developing and facilitating cognitive psychotherapy groups and individual psychotherapy. She encourages those that are receiving services to be patient with the process, looking for immediate results is not realistic. Now after seven years of working in her field and equipped with the knowledge and experience, Anim hopes to open her own private practice.

Anim O. Aweh, licensed clinical social worker and health educator discovered her passion for public health and mental health in minority women while still in high school. Daughter of immigrant parents, Anim was raised understanding the importance of education. Their philosophy, “Education is the only way to make it in this country,” became a philosophy that she would adopt as her own.

Anim would go on to complete her Master’s in Social Work and then return to the Boys & Girls Club,

Fancy: What exactly is psychotherapy?

Anim: Literal translation is one who is trained to used various psychosocial interventions to support a client through social, emotional struggles. Ultimately the goal is to facilitate change behaviorally and or support the individual to cope with their emotions.

Fancy: Do you think mental health is diagnosed and addressed properly amongst the youth?

Anim: Overall I think it varies on the type of youth we are discussing, I know for certain a 22

Anim: I think it’s still very taboo in both the Caribbean and African communities (because I am both Cameroonian and Haitian). A lot of our parents are still under the impression that praying will solve all of our personal issues. I do believe in the power of prayer, however, I also do believe that years of trauma and maladaptive patterns of behaviors also create problematic family dynamics that our parents still don’t want to address, and we end up passing those behaviors into our own relationships and families. I was just recently able to have a conversation with my mother about anxiety, she agrees that she likely has anxiety but would not be open to speaking to someone, because “we don’t discuss things outside the house with strangers”.

Fancy: Could you share some signs that help to identify mental health issues within children and teens?

Anim: Teens and young children can be similar and yet very different. You may see isolation, low mood, maybe anger, changes in sleeping patterns, changes in appetite, changes in behaviors in school and grades.

Charita Cole Brown was diagnosed with a severe form of bipolar disorder while finishing her f inal semester as an English major at Wesleyan University. Doctors predicted she would never lead a “normal� life. Despite that prognosis and because she sought treatment, Charita went on to marry, raise a family, earn a masters degree in teaching and enjoy a fulfilling career in education. Her powerful story is chronicled in her debut book, Defying the Verdict: My Bipolar Life. A retired educator, Charita now is a member of the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) Maryland Board of Directors and is also active in the local affiliate, NAMI Metropolitan Baltimore.

Fancy: What does your treatment plan for your disorder consist of? How do you manage it?

We must not fear mental illness, but rather accept that mental illness is physical illness. We must then create wellness recovery plans that address our individual conditions and personalities. When people, especially people/ women of color are no longer guilty or ashamed of mental health challenges, we can seek restorative healthcare. Some people may need a life changing friendship, a trusted confidante to offer total acceptance along their mental health journey. Each year in the United States, one in five adults’ experiences mental illness health. Every 12 minutes in the US, someone dies by suicide. These sobering statistics remind me that education, hope, and love are essential as we become African-American women who are fit for this fight against stigma.

Charita: Besides seeing a psychiatrist quarterly for medication management, I continue to learn as much as possible about living well with a mental health diagnosis. I have assumed personal agency regarding my personal wellness plan. Having a mental health diagnosis, I choose wellness daily. I have identified my triggers -stress is a major one- and therefore live as prayerfully and peacefully as possible. With agency over my illness, I have lived in bipolar recovery for more than twenty-five years. And I always remember that recovery is an ongoing process.

Fancy: From your work, do you have any suggestions on how mental health conditions or those battling with mental health issues can be better handled/treated?

Website: www.charitacolebrown.com Instagram: @charita.brown Facebook: Charita Brown

Charita: Although there is no cure for mental illness, we can cure the st igma associated with mental illness.

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Aisha is a stand-up comedienne who has mastered her craft through life experiences. Her colorful stories of growing up in Buffalo, NY and "gettin' grown" in Baltimore, MD reveal the trials, triumphs, and ultimately, the lessons she gathered during her journey. With a leap of faith, she is embarking on her newest journey of transformational speaking showing others how to redirect their pain into passion, while making time to laugh along the way.

Fancy: Your career in stand-up and sharing about your struggles led you to your higher purpose of inspiring others, but did you always recognize your struggles or did you become more of aware them while performing?

Aisha: I became aware of my struggles as a teenager. I was molested as a child by someone close to our family. After I gained the courage to speak out about it, not much was done. No one wanted to ruffle feathers. As I pursued comedy, the awareness of my struggles heightened. All of the insecurities, anxieties, fears, and doubts that stemmed from my younger days would surface. Right before performing, I would go back to a time where I was courageous enough to use my voice, only to feel like no one was listening. There have been times I was crippled with fear at the thought of people not truly hearing me when it was time to perform. As I've healed, I am even more determined to perform, because that is my way of fighting against anything or anyone who tried to silence me and keep me from walking in my purpose.

Fancy: Were you ever clinically diagnosed with a mental health disorder?

Aisha: In my early 20's, I was diagnosed with clinical depression after I sought help for the suicidal thoughts I was having. Looking back, I am certain that the depression existed long before that. After having my daughter when I was 19, untreated postpartum depression was definitely a sign of things to come. I was able to convince others that "all is well", while I was still searching for an outlet to pour out YEARS of sadness, anger and shame. In my late 30's, I was involved in an accident, which ultimately left me visually impaired and unable to work as a pharmacy technician. I was divorced and became homeless with three children in Baltimore City. I was coming to grips with my vision loss and what that would mean for the future of my family. At the same time, I had to still provide as much stability as possible for the children. At the time they were ages 4, 6, and 15. I knew that I could not manage trying to sort all of that out on my own, so I sought out a therapist. By that time, I had learned how important it is to have QUALIFIED people in my life, with whom I can unpack the trauma that I experience.

Fancy: How does growing up in poverty affect your mental health?

Aisha: The poverty that I experienced came when I haphazardly went out into the world, as an adult. My parents divorced when I was young, and I grew up primarily in my mother's care. She was a nurse and provided a very stable home environment for my siblings and me. A LOT of love was poured into me, and for that I am grateful, because it gave me a great foundation to tap into, when it came time for me to go out into the world. I needed it, because I was making all types of foolish decisions, which led me down paths in life that were unnecessarily difficult. I was making life harder for myself. That led to constantly struggling financially as an adult. It didn't matter that I was making wise career moves; my mind was not in a healthy place to make wiser decisions with my money. After the accident, I was ashamed that I was not financially prepared for such an emergency and that things fell apart so quickly.

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Born in Dakar, Senegal, West Africa Eveline Daveiga is using her experience and love for cooking to turn them into an upcoming international cookbook of she and her mother's native homelands, “Best of Both Worlds- A Senegalese/Cape Verdean Cookbook”. She has created countless dishes online on Facebook Live and has grown her following under the hashtag #evelineskitchen. In addition to her love for cooking, she is also is the owner/designer of Aliedrius Jewelry.

Eveline's painful past of emotional domestic verbal abuse from a toxic marriage has given her the courage to share for the first time the pain, triumph, and tribulations that has made her the person she is today.

Fancy: How long were you married and was the abuse present throughout your dating period?

Eveline: I was married for two and a half years, and no there were no signs during the dating period. He was a charmer and did everything right.

Fancy: What type of toll does emotional abuse from a spouse play on one’s mental health?

Eveline: The toll that emotional mental abuse from a spouse plays is that no matter how many years go by, you never really heal 100%.

Because something out of the ordinary happens to you, and it somehow brings a memory back to you. It’s been 10 years since the incident and mentally, I find .

myself remembering the pain when an event reminds me of what I went through.

Fancy: Do you mind sharing two tips for identifying signs of an unhealthy relationship?

Eveline: One, if you two first meet and they are trying to move the relationship way too fast, like wanting to move in with each other right away, talking about marriage within 3-6 months and not really knowing you, and not being upfront about past things in their life, them, or their family. Be mindful. Two, if you are together, either dating or married, and they try to isolate you from your family and friends. That's a warning sign.

For me it used to be, he didn’t want me spending family time

with my mom and my other son from a previous relationship. He always wanted me to be upstairs in the room with him, away from my family. He would complain and was actually jealous of the close mother/son relationship I had with my son.

Fancy: I know healing looks different to each individual, but what did healing look like for you?

Eveline: Healing for me meant that I could trust again and be in a relationship. I no longer give my power to a man emotionally. I look for signs of someone being narcissistic from the lessons I learned

Website: www.aliedriusjewelry.etsy.com Instagram: @aliedrius and @bestof.bothworlds1 Facebook: @Eveline Daveiga, and @Best of Both Worlds, and @Aliedrius Jewelry 25

Raised and educated in Baltimore, Maryland, Sharita Hays is a 34-year old single mother of three. Before she reached four years of age, Sharita had been taken from her drug addicted, biological mother and placed with family members, where she suffered physical and sexual abuse. When she was six years old, she contracted an STD. Over the years, her life and abuse got worse at the very hands of the people who were supposed to protect her.

Diagnosed with PTSD at the young age of eight, she has persevered, overcoming hurdle after hurdle to stand today, unbalanced, but strong, as she raises her children. The Baltimore-based author of The Story of Sharita: Chapter 2 hopes that her journey can inspire someone else to just keep going.

Fancy: What triggered your PTSD?

nonetheless. Post traumatic stress disorder is the direct result of stress and trauma; both of which most black people learn to endure (not cope with) almost from birth.

Sharita: To be honest, the initial trigger will probably be forever unknown. My earliest memory is my mother's boyfriend beating her and then my being left to live with my aunt for three years. I was two years old, definitely traumatic.

Fancy: I know healing looks different to each individual, but what did healing look like for you?

Fancy: Did you find comfort or release when writing your book and sharing your story?

Sharita: I’m still healing.

It’s a day-to-day struggle. I believe that there is no definitive route of healing, because what once worked may never work again. I’m coping.

Sharita: Yes, my book actually began as a blog.

Just My Thoughts came about as an outlet. I maintained it for about a decade before I decided to publish it. Over the years, people discovered my writing and followed along. Publishing it was a very comforting release.

Fancy: At what point did you decide to share your story to uplift and educate others?

Sharita: I decided to start sharing my story in 2007. I was in a hotel room just coming back in town and had an epiphany. I thought, “this can’t be life.” Before that point, I had always felt alone in my struggles. I started my blog and the rest is history.

Fancy: It seems like society is still grasping the fact that civilians can also suffer from PTSD, but what are your thoughts on the matter?

Sharita: I do not know life without PTSD. It has shaped my lifetime, so I can't grasp the understanding of people not getting it. I was born and raised in Baltimore, MD. It’s a literal war zone. While there may not be governmental soldiers, there is a war

Instagram: @hazy_sin84 Book: http://www.lulu.com/shop/sharita-hays/thestory-of-sharita-chapter-2

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Soulful Symmetry owner and Reiki healer, Shaylah Mickens believes everyone should start with the healing within first. She took her experience with sexual abuse as well as other violations to her spirit from family members and turned that into a positive platform for people of her community. She created Black Girls Speaks as a way for women of color to speak on their abuse where they are not judged. Shaylahhas created sacred spaces for her sisters to unify in the same place, learn to trust each other, and heal together.

Fancy: Several of the other panelists experienced domestic violence in their relationships and marriages, but it sounds like what you experienced was child abuse. Is that safe to say, and what type of toll did the abuse take on you mentally?

Shaylah: From personal experience, if you are constantly being criticized, that's emotional abuse. I also discovered a term called gaslighting. This is when a person denies previous abusive behavior or puts blame on you for what they did.

Fancy: At what point did you decide to share your story to uplift and educate others?

Shaylah: Yes, It safe to say! Being abused growing up has made me become closed off from people. It takes me a long time to put my trust into a person. I experienced sexual, emotional, verbal, and physical abuse, and I had a hard time communicating as well, which means I have a hard time establishing relationships also.

Shaylah: About two years ago, I felt like I was healing and was at such a peaceful space that I wanted other WOC to experience such peace with letting go.

Fancy: What inspired you to take part in the Crazy Like a Fox Tour?

Fancy: I know healing looks different to each individual, but what did healing look like for you?

Shaylah: Melony Hill inspired me! I wanted to share my story on a different platform and also learn from other women about different healing methods.

Shaylah: Healing meant sitting with myself. I wanted to have a relationship with myself. I had to get to know who I was outside of the trauma I faced.

Fancy: What inspirational nugget would you care to share with our readers?

Fancy: Can you share two tips to identify emotional abuse?

Shaylah: My inspirational nugget would be to LET GO! Literally follow your spirit; it will take you to places you have only dreamed.

Instagram: @_soulfulsymmetry

Facebook: Soulful Symmetry 27

Director, choreographer and mother, Tracie Jiggetts set out to change the scope of the future by addressing the fear that threatens the lives and dreams of our youth, because she knows many of them all too well. Growing up, she suffered from severe eczema as a child and was often covered in puss-filled bumps and patches of flaking extremely dry skin. This resulted in being a constant object of ridicule and eventually isolating herself, not understanding how her middle and high school years would impact her future. Later in life, Tracie would experience postpartum depression and be able to look back and realize that she dealt with depression and anxiety back during her teen years. Tracie says her only escape from these thoughts of worthless during both of those times were the performing arts and dance, giving her a voice, an identity, and hope.

Fancy: I know healing looks different to each individual, but what did healing look like for you?

Tracie: Healing for me is self-care. I spent many years just rushing to get things done and totally neglecting my basic needs. I would go all day without eating, because I “didn’t have time”, or I would put off gett ing my medicine, because I “would get it later.” Before I knew it, I was physically and mentally falling apart. In therapy, I discovered this self-destructive behavior was taking a toll, and it was the manifestation of my feelings of unworthiness. My self-care routine is directly connected to my healing. Taking care of me and not being afraid to ask for help is healing!

Fancy: If you could go back in time and deliver a message to your 13-year old self, what would you say?

Tracie: I spent most of my teenage years in a personal hell. I suffered from extreme eczema and was covered in flaky patches of dry skin and painful puss filled bumps. Constantly ridiculed and disrespected, I found myself always hiding. I was depressed and lonely. If I could go back and deliver a message to my 13-year-old self, I would tell her it’s already alright! I would tell her that she is worthy and to focus on her talent. I would tell her that the cruel words people say are a direct reflection of them and to stop giving them power over your life. I would tell my 13-year-old self to walk with her head high and come out of hiding, because the world needs your light!

Fancy: Do you believe that dance helps you to express and be yourself?

Tracie: Dance and the performing arts give me permission to be myself. It’s about more than steps and music; dance reminds me that I am alive. Dancing, acting, choreographing, directing and writing have given me a deeper look into the human experience.

The performing arts bring perspective and are a catalyst for healing. There are still some emotions that I can only express through the performing arts. I am thankful for this gift.

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Cherelle Ward has a passion for the lost and believes there is greatness in everyone that is waiting to be unlocked.

In 2017, a therapist diagnosed the senior quality reviewer representative and writer with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) due to being a survivor of date rape and domestic violence. She knows very well, what the enemy means for evil, God will use it for your good in many ways beyond comprehension. She knows a thing a two about overcoming and the great power behind it. God really does give His beauty for your ashes.

Fancy: What is it like living with PTSD? Cherelle: Wow, living with PTSD is like watching a movie that you didn’t pay for. PTSD is an uninvited guest that won’t leave. It rents a room in your psyche with no intention of paying you anything but emotional, mental, spiritual, and sometimes physical scars and distress. You are constantly in a panic state of mind, which can be triggered by a sound, a memory, or a flashback of a traumatic event. You are emotionally and mentally on pins and needles and you do not know when it will strike or where. It is a struggle.

Fancy: So, you survived date rape and an abusive relationship, but these were two different perpetrators correct?

Cherelle: Yes, I am a survivor of date rape and two abusive relationships. The date rape assault was by two different perpetrators. The sexual assault was planned, and I was just fourteen years old. I lost my mom at the age of thirteen, so this assault scarred me. I was in an abusive relationship with a woman for ten years, and I was abused by a man that I was intimate with.

Yes, the perpetrators are all different.

Fancy: I know healing looks different to each individual, but what did healing look like for you?

Cherelle: Truthfully, I am still healing. Healing to me is being honest with yourself about what has happened to you and to try not to cover it up, because we all know we are as sick as the secrets we keep, and healing never comes to a heart if the mouth is willing to stay silent. Healing is at one’s pace between oneself and God. Healing is my journey, just like my pain is. It’s an experience, and I am the student. I am learning. Cheers. .

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Latrea Wyche is a 40-year-old disabilities empowerment coach and an eight- time published author. She was born with Pfeffer Syndrome, a rare genet ic disorder that causes the bones in the skull and other parts of the body to not fuse properly. Latrea also has vision and hearing impairment and has enduring more than 30-45 operations to correct various health problems. Growing up in foster care with her younger sister, Latrea encountered tons of abuse, but through it all, she has managed to beat the odds.

Fancy: What type of toll does the foster care system play on one’s mental health?

Fancy: At what point did you decide to share your story to uplift and educate others?

Latrea: It is my belief that there are a variety of factors involved that will determine if the foster care system will play a role on a person's mental health. One factor is the age development in which one enters the system. Children typically start to learn about themselves and the world around them between ages two and five, and this learning lasts well into adolescence. Another factor could be the length of time you are in the system; there are some who are in the system for a month and others for years. I think this has a huge impact on your mental stability; I know it impacted mine. The last factor is your experience while in the system, there are some people who have great experiences in the system and come out good and able to cope with life. Now let me tell you about me. I feel like my t ime in foster care altered my mental state, because it confirmed messages of my self worth or lack there of. Staying in the system for close to four years caused me to have abandonment issues and depression.

Latrea: I began to share when I realized the things that God had allowed me to experience were not about me. They were really about the little disabled girl being bullied in school or that little girl whose parents are on drugs and she wants to kill herself, because she sees no other out, but she can’t, because she has a sister to take care of or that woman that is so afraid of being alone that she pushes everyone away.

Fancy: What inspired you to take part in the Crazy Like a Fox Tour?

Latrea: Mental illness is the most underrated topic discussed within the African American community. Mental illness is the cause of a lot of our problems within our community; things have happened to us in our families that we were not allowed to discuss, and because we did not discuss these issues, they have manifested themselves into our adulthood and show up in inappropriate ways.

Website: www.coachlatrea.com Instagram: @coachlatrea79 @iammorethanmydisability Facebook: @coachlatrea Twitter: @coachlatrea YouTube: Coach Latrea Wyche

Fancy: What is it that keeps you going?

Latrea: My faith…. all the times I was in foster care being abused and each time I was rolled into the operating room, I could always hear God say “Hold on, I got you, just hold on to me. I got you.”

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