It’s A Dog’s Life

With regal fever potentially gripping the nation Teddy offers his thoughts on how it has been affecting him and trainee fur, Bear, as they both look forward to their impending canine tweet-up; relayed as ever to the girl from the Silver Jubilee, Helen Stockton

This month offers one of those unique occasions that threatens to unite the whole country, the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee. Now far be it for me to suggest that ‘Her Indoors’ is past the first flush of youth, but she remembers celebrating the Silver Jubilee when she was at primary school. Each child was given a celebration mug, a gesture whose generosity was only mitigated by the fact that the mugs were all seconds and each had its own, distinctive flaw. Still, it gave them the unexpected learning opportunity of finding the error on each – a wonderful thing, education!

However, this time around, she can always buy her own souvenir if she chooses. There are, amongst the more conventional offerings, fridge magnets, royal bingo, edible cup-cake toppers and, our personal favourite, a pin the diamond on the crown Jubilee version of that traditional party game. Whilst I can’t claim the same range of themed goodies as Her Majesty, we do have our own Border Terrier fridge magnet, and I’m not sure that eating anything with the Queen’s head on it is entirely respectful anyway. In centuries gone by, that kind of behaviour would have endangered your own noggin!

It is with some alarm that I’ve noticed that the village fete, timed to contribute to the national celebrations, has departed from the usual ‘dog with the waggiest tail’ and ‘dog with the most appealing eyes’ for the fun dog show classes, and has a new category for ‘dog most like the Queen’. I couldn’t have taken part because, clearly, I am not of the appropriate gender, but Bear could have been in real danger. It is a mercy that, on the day in question, we are holding our own celebration by attending a large gathering of Border Terriers, organised by the Twitter group that myself and the apprentice belong to, the BTPosse. These meetings are affectionately known as ‘Tweet-ups’ and can be identified from some distance away by the melodious vocals of the participants. The dogs are rather noisy too! Anyway, we shall be appropriately engaged in canine interactions and the worst that will happen is that we will be forced to wear themed bandanas.

I wonder if the Queen’s Corgis have to suffer similar indignities. I bet they just take to the royal kennels until it is all over and normality returns.

Still, anything that is likely to involve food is a worthy occasion in my book. They got coronation chicken at the coronation, so I’m hoping for jambalaya at the jubilee. I believe there is going to be a special concert in Her Majesty’s honour so I might have to sing along with Cliff Richard. I am sure the nation will appreciate it! l