If You Ask Me

WANT A JOB DONE PROPERLY? GET THE ARMY TO DO IT, SAYS FLO WHITAKER. A COMBINED TASKFORCE OF MILITARY AND NHS PERSONNEL COULD PROBABLY SORT OUT JUST ABOUT ANYTHING

I recently had my Covid booster jab. Arriving at the vaccination centre, I wondered if I’d missed some vitally important newsflash. Had a sombre-toned BBC newsreader announced the imminent arrival of the zombie apocalypse? What was going on?

The army had arrived and were in charge. Camouflage-clad personnel stood at the entrance, directing people, assisting at the administrative desk and guiding folk to cubicles, where a mix of military and civilian medics administered the vaccines.

Perhaps it’s our innate desire to please and be respectful of authority figures that makes most of us toe the line without question. When a uniformed member of the armed forces instructs you in a super-polite, but briskly professional voice to “stand there” or “follow me” or “sit down” it’s like being a five-year-old child all over again; keen to please a kind, but no-nonsense adult.

All was quiet, regimented efficiency. I felt pathetically grateful and humbled that it had been laid on for me, with absolutely no charge at the point of need, (if I’m honest, I felt slightly peeved that no-one blew a bugle or saluted). As I was ushered towards the exit, a mere 20 minutes after arriving and deposited back into the civilian world, an enthusiastic, eccentrically-dressed helper offered a colourful, ‘I’ve had my vaccination!’ sticker, which somehow emphasised the point; “You are now leaving the domain of proper grown-ups. Go away, play nicely and we’ll sort out the important stuff.” One of the anti-vaxxers’ many complaints is, “It’s like living in a nanny state!” Well, sometimes nanny is just who you need.

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