PRISM Magazine Vol. 1

“This issue of Prism Magazine is dedicated to Mark Fertig (1972-2021), my graphic designer professor, mentor, and friend. He played such an important role in my career path and I owe it to him for helping me evolve as a graphic designer. Without him, having graphic design as a major at Susquehanna University wouldn’t even exist! His talent, dedication, and leadership was larger than life. His passing leaves a tremendous void at Susquehanna University and the community he leaves behind.”

-Caitlin Meleski, Class of 2019

“I’m delighted that you’ve picked up a copy of Prism Magazine: Spreading Light Across the LGBTQ+ Community! This edition was collectively written by students registered for WGST 400: Topics in WGST: LGBTQ+ Studies in the Spring of 2021.

In the middle of Fall 2020, I met with our amazing TA, Jenna Wertz, and we began the process of conceptualizing a final project for this course that would allow students to creatively write and/or express their interest in a topic relevant to the LGBTQ+ community that could be shared beyond the walls of our classroom. Somehow the idea of publishing a collective piece surfaced and from there we prepped for the semester. It has been an amazing journey to watch each student in the course define their topic of study and then determine how they wanted to creatively present it to the world. From research articles to interviews to photo essays to poetry, this class project has turned into so much more than I ever imagined. Even during an international pandemic, each of the students pushed forward with the creation of an amazing piece.

Thank you to: • Each of the amazing students in this course who made this project come to life and handled each of the pieces with so much care.

• Our TA, Jenna Wertz, who helped conceptualize this project and spent hours reviewing and providing feedback on pieces. You’ve worked diligently with me each step of the way and I’m so grateful to have worked with you this semester.

• Our AMAZING graphic designer, Caitlin Meleski, who was so eager to jump in and take on this project and helped turn it into the work of art that it is today.

We hope you enjoy this premiere edition of Prism Magazine and we hope that you take what you learn from this piece to shine light on the LGBTQ+ community in your spheres of influence so that together we can create a more inclusive future.”

-Christiana Paradis, LGBTQ+ Studies Instructor

Interviews with LGBTQ+ Faculty/Staff at Susquehanna University

Ashleigh Huhn

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Thoughts on “Non-Binary Woman”

Margaret Reedel

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On The Bathroom Floor

Madi N. Blackwell

13

On The Other Side of the Rainbow

Taylor Thompson

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Behind The Mask

Madeline Lanning

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Mental Health in LGBTQ+ Individuals: Why It’s so Important!

Debbie Paulus

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Mental Health Crisis in the LGBTQ+ Community

Robert Morales

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Historic Outline of LGBTQ+ Healthcare

Taylor Nattress

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Something We Do Not Know/Love is Not Love in China

Jena Lui

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Two-Spirit People in Indigenous Communities

Miranda Mutzabaugh

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Dear Colonialism

Taishiana Tsosie

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InterviewsWithLGBTQ+Faculty/Staff_AshleighHuhn

Are you out at work? If so, to specific colleagues, only your department, everyone, etc.? How do you/did you judge whether it is safe for you to come out and to whom?

o much of younger generations’ focus and knowledge of LGBTQ+ experiences have come from other young people like social media influencers, especially those living in urban and progressive areas. I feel that these interviews offering experiences of faculty/staff working at Susquehanna University and living in Central Pennsylvania would provide an important and often less known perspective for our class; one of being LGBTQ+ in the workplace while living in Central Pennsylvania.

MichaelineShuman Biography Michaeline Shuman (she/her/hers) Assistant Provost and Director of Career Development Center Michaeline has worked at SU for the past 7 years. She was raised in Western Pennsylvania and has spent most of her life in either New York or Pennsylvania. She identifies as a bisexual woman and is a mother of two teenagers.

She is the advisor for Gender and Sexuality Alliance on campus as well as the coleader of the LGBTQ faculty/staff group. She hasn’t had a big coming out moment, though her resume would show that she either is a member of the community or a very strong ally. She is out to those around her when it makes sense for her to be but understands that in some of her roles (like a professor for the business school) don’t necessitate her coming out. She does leave “clues” like a rainbow pin on her bag, or gender-neutral language in PowerPoints, etc. that she is at least an ally. She does respect people where they are at, though she does not let bad things go.

What has your experience been like thus far?

She has been called slurs before and has seen occasional bad student behavior, but for the most part her experience has been fairly positive especially at the administration level. She feels supported and that she belongs here. Each place she has lived has been progressively improving, but change is slow and there are still improvements to be done.

Do you feel that SU could better support you? If so, what would that look like to you?

This is the most accepting college workplace she has worked within thus far.

She shared that any institution which is willing to put money and funding behind what they’re saying, then their commitment to making inclusive and safe spaces is

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one of actual value, genuine commitment, and real intentions. She feels that SU does this, though things can always be better.

She feels that students could be better supported here especially for transgender students including LGBTQ housing, and more staff in the Center for Diversity and Inclusion, but everything is a process. She does feel SU is working in the right direction and has good intentions.

What does being safe look like to you?

Able to be authentic self without hiding.

Most of her fear stems from being a woman rather than as a member of the LGBTQ+ community.

Where does one find a supportive community in this area?

One can find community in Selinsgrove, but it is definitely small. She finds it easier to look at slightly bigger places like Harrisburg.

Is there anything else you wish to share?

She shared a statistic that 46,000 people come through this general area every day because of the multiple major highways in this area, yet it’s still interesting how homogeneous this area is. Snyder County is the most homogeneous county in Pennsylvania statistically. She feels that because so much of the people in this area are born here, grow up here, and stay here, if you’re not from this area, you’ll always be viewed as an outsider.

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InterviewsWithLGBTQ+Faculty/Staff_AshleighHuhn

ScottHollenbach

What has your experience been like thus far?

Overall positive experience. Popular in high school and had a good group of friends.

Has a supportive family. Occasionally he has heard negative comments or remarks, but nothing that specifically targeted him, and those are definitely not the majority of interactions in public spaces.

Do you feel that SU could better support you? If so, what would that look like to you?

Biography Scott Hollenbach (he/him/his) Associate Director of Event Management Scott identifies himself as a gay man. He grew up in Selinsgrove, worked at Susquehanna University for 26 years. He has been out since about 14 or 15.

Doesn’t feel that he needs to be better supported at SU but thought that for other employees who don’t feel comfortable being publicly out at work that there could be more of an underground support group, though he feels most probably don’t have an issue. He did mention though how he feels that others really like the LGBTQ+ Alumni Weekend events which haven’t happened recently because of Covid.

How does this area contrast to your experience anywhere else you’ve lived?

Are you out at work? If so, to specific colleagues, only your department, everyone, etc.? How do you/did you judge whether it is safe for you to come out and to whom?

Never had a large coming out moment at work, no one really asks questions, but many people know. Event Management has a large student worker population as well (40-50 students), many know his identity as well, but he doesn’t feel that he has any issues at SU. Feels safe and supported here, and a part of the community.

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He hated Atlanta and felt that it was very prejudiced when it came to both race and sexual orientation. There were supportive spaces for one specific identity but often were not inclusive of intersectional identities. He heard a lot more negative and derogatory comments in the South than he has here.

GretchenLovas

Do you feel safe being out in this area?

Feels fairly safe in this area. This area is more accepting than a lot of people might think. It’s a very close-knit community.

What does being safe look like to you?

Away from harassment. Going to local bars or public spaces and being safe.

Did you ever imagine yourself living in a rural, conservative area like this, and would you go somewhere else if you could?

He couldn’t wait to leave Selinsgrove as a kid, but then left and wanted to come back.

Has lived and/or traveled in many places including Washington, D.C, Atlanta, San Diego, and Paris among others, but likes it here. He feels at home and relaxed here.

Is there anything else you wish to share?

His story is a very positive one; he hasn’t had as many issues as most, has good family and friends. He considers himself one of the lucky ones.

Biography Dr. Gretchen Lovas (she/her/hers) Associate Professor of Psychology Gretchen came out in her 30s and has been with her wife, Sharlene, for 25 years. They originally got a civil union in California and became married as soon as it was legal. She was very active in the Women’s Movement of the 60s and 70s. She grew up in Seattle and Anchorage, moved to Boston before moving to Central Pennsylvania.

How do you identify and what does that identity mean to you?

She identifies as a lesbian but doesn’t feel that it is a huge part of her identity.

Other aspects of her identity which she feels drive her more include feminist, spiritual person, and psychologist.

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InterviewsWithLGBTQ+Faculty/Staff_AshleighHuhn

JulieCunningham&ChristianaParadis

Are you out at work? If so, to specific colleagues, only your department, everyone, etc.? How do you/did you judge whether it is safe for you to come out and to whom?

Have you been able to find a supportive community here or anywhere else you’ve lived?

She actually came out before her interview at SU. She is out to her department and individual students. She doesn’t often come out to whole classes and prefers that students get to know her first and eventually surprise them later on.

Do you feel safe and/or supported at Susquehanna University?

Did you ever imagine yourself living in a rural, conservative area like this, and would you go somewhere else if you could?

She does feel safe and supported, and has a great department, but it is not always the same for all students though.

How does this area contrast to your experience anywhere else you’ve lived?

She lived in Boston for 19 years and was out for over half of the time. There was a large gay culture there including pride, rallies, lots of friends, and felt like a very liberal place.

She went to graduate school at UC Davis in Northern California. She went to pride in San Francisco and misses the more liberal areas.

Do you feel safe being out in this area?

She feels that things have become safer with time, especially in this area now that the laws have changed, but she is still careful and not entirely comfortable. When in the movie theater and holding hands, she will still put a coat over their hands, just in case.

She has never had a bad experience, but still is cautious.

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She has found a supportive community within the local Unitarian Church and there is lots of supportive people around here, but not a lot of gay community. She said she doesn’t feel the need for lots of gay friends though.

She always loved rural areas but didn’t understand when she was younger that rural comes with conservatism, especially evangelism. She likes the culture and activism that came with living in cities. She loves the countryside, and loves the river, but doesn’t love being outvoted 3 to 1. She and her wife are still deciding whether to build more community here once retired or move somewhere else.

Biography Dr. Julie Cunningham (she/her/hers) Clinical Psychologist at Geisinger Julie has lived in Pennsylvania for 6 years, originally from Upstate New York. She came out as gay in her early 20s.. Felt different as a kid and connected to the community aspect, and now sees her identity as more positive and salient.

Christiana Paradis (she/her/hers) Director of Violence Prevention and adjunct faculty in Women’s and Gender Studies Christiana grew up in Selinsgrove and has spent most of her life in Central PA. She feels that her identity has evolved overtime and identifies as pansexual meaning she is attracted to the person.

Are you out at work? If so, to specific colleagues, only your department, everyone, etc.? How do you/did you judge whether it is safe for you to come out and to whom?

C: Out to people who she interacts with most frequently at SU and noted that classrooms usually safer to come out to over the past few years.

J: Mainly out because she works in a progressive field with usually progressive colleagues, but also mentioned that she feels that she passes as straight. Both Christiana and Julie shared that marriage adds a different level of openness especially in the workplace which they didn’t originally think about prior to being married.

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InterviewsWithLGBTQ+Faculty/Staff_AshleighHuhn

What has your experience been like thus far? Do you feel that SU could better support you? If so, what would that look like to you?

C: Overall positive experience, especially within the Student Life division as it is women dominated. In a previous workplace, tokenization was common. Often, anything LGBTQ related ended up on her desk, even when it is not relevant like an LGBTQ+ 101 panel or training events when she feels that would be the last person who needs to be attending. More can be done for students more so than for faculty/staff, but there could be opportunities for SU paying LGBTQ faculty to support students better on a more individual basis. She did note that being out in one department might not mean it is safe in all departments since every department has its own culture.

J: She also shared that she has had a fairly positive experience at work as well, though more can be done in order to be supportive of patients like inclusive graphics, posters, etc. and more trainings for professionals on affirmative care for patients.

How does this area contrast to your experience anywhere else you’ve lived?

J: Very similar to other places, conservative and rural upstate NY, and University of Alabama for graduate school. Found liberal bubbles and protection within them in each space, even though most of her experiences have been in highly conservative areas. She was here for marriage equality.

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Do you feel safe being out in this area?

J: Being out is noticeable and different, but most people try to be accepting and have genuine and good hearts. Being cisgender, white, and feminine presenting is safer though.

C: Christiana noted that age may play a role in safety as well and shared that they don’t “look queer” which may make them safer as well. She also noted that this may be a different experience than for LGBTQ men also.

What does being safe look like to you?

C+J: Being able to hold hands in public wherever they want. This definitely comes up more when thinking about traveling especially internationally. They both feel safe and supported within their families.

Christiana also noted that there is more hypervigilance when being a women rather than having an LGBTQ+ identity and noted the intersectionality that exists between different identities.

Have you been able to find a supportive community here or anywhere else you’ve lived?

C: Was able to find supportive community easiest in college and existed within a very feminist and LGBTQ bubble. There is definitely a separation between higher education and the community; oftentimes in the community it is more underground.

Both Christiana and Julie both shared that it can be a little bit hard to find community and would be nice to have more like minded people their age.

J: Found friends and community originally through dating apps, as well as occasional community events or groups. There are some occasional events in Bloomsburg throughout the year.

Did you ever imagine yourself living in a rural, conservative area like this, and would you go somewhere else if you could?

Is there anything else you wish to share?

C: Churches in this area don’t feel overly suffocating like in other rural areas and there are a lot of openly affirming churches in the area. At drag shows there is often a very heavily straight audience which can sometimes feel that it makes queer culture feel like it’s on display like at a zoo because the straight cisgender audience doesn’t understand the meaning and history behind it. This area is much more LGB affirmative but less T affirmative. There is still a long way to go for transgender and gender nonconforming individuals. There is often a lack of resources for individuals for those who don’t have access to a car (a lot of resources are within driving distance like Harrisburg).

J: Being single in this area is definitely a deterrent and probably one of the bigger challenges for individuals within the community because dating apps may not always be a helpful option.

C+J: This sort of environment is all they have ever known but will probably move at some point eventually to a more progressive area. Julie shared that she likes trying to make an impact in a conservative area and open people’s perspective, but eventually will become tired of having to do the work.

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ThoughtsOn“Non-BinaryWoman”_MargaretReedel

RET “

MAG

GI” R

EEDE

L, SH

E/T

HEY

Maggi_2013

empowered by that decision, but the ability and knowledge to choose, rather than act upon imposed necessity, is key.

For many people, “non-binary” as an identity is a disruption from the typical male-female gender binary. This, however, does not innately mean that “non-binary” is a third gender, creating what could be called a “trinary,” and it does not mean that gender is a singular line. Gender is expression, or as Judith Butler says, gender is a performance. Clothing is the same: I wore hoodies, baggy pants, and band shirts in middle school, but I express my personality through different methods now, though band shirts still come up frequently in my clothing rotation. Gender is fluid—for some more than others—and an outward expression of our innermost selves. To give anyone only two, or three, choices with which to align themselves for eternity seems more than unfair.

BY M

ARGA

Maggi_Jul2015

t’s 6:00 am on Monday, circa 2013. I am fourteen, getting ready for school, brushing my teeth, straightening my hair, eating breakfast. I look at the desk chair and the clothes I laid out the previous night and feel uneasy: skinny jeans and one of my favorite tops—cream-colored with an orange and pink pattern and a V-neck. I throw it on, look in the mirror, and consider.

I look at my watch: 6:35am, gotta head out to catch the bus. I adjust my bra, suck in my stomach, shake my head, and tear off the clothes. Boot cut jeans, men’s skateboard shoes, and a sweatshirt, a typical outfit for my middle school years.

Many days, I was most comfortable in baggy, androgenous clothing. My hair was fairly long at the time, but I would occasionally fold it into a beanie to create short hair and fake bangs. When I dressed up, I usually went big by wearing shirts too low and tight for my mother’s liking, paint-

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on skinny jeans, and eyeliner. I’ve always sort of experienced femininity as a fleeting extreme—if I was going to dress girly, I would go all out, or I wouldn’t do it at all.

When I got to college and faced the ability to express myself in ways greater than ever before, I discovered new ways of dressing that felt more authentically me than anything I had worn before. Many of these are visibly androgenous or mix traditionally men’s and women’s clothing, like wearing a sundress with my leather dress shoes, bought from the men’s section of a closing shoe store. I’ve become more comfortable shaving my body on my own schedule, covering my body to my own standard, and walking with more entitlement to this Earth, allowing myself to take up space. I haven’t perfected any of these standards yet, but they feel right; they feel like me. I’ve begun to allow myself to embrace the more masculine qualities in my body and my disposition, rather than wax them off, cover them up, or hide them away without thought. Of course, if one chooses to do these things, then they should feel

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ThoughtsOn“Non-BinaryWoman”_MargaretReedel “Non-binary” is also a recognition that gender as a whole is a social construct; a person wearing a dress does not necessarily equate a woman, the same as a person wearing a suit is not characteristically a man. (It is important to note that I use these labels and their cultural meaning within a Euro-American framework.) These terms, “woman” and “man,” are social constructs as well, despite how infrequently we recognize this. Sure, “male” and “female” are constructs, as we understand that anatomy does not split us into 50-50 opposites (for example: 1-2% of Americans are intersex; see Intersex Society of North America for more), but “man” and “woman” additionally are not confined boxes. If they were, then transgender men and women would not categorically be men and women.

Maggi_Aug2015

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But they are, socially. We as a society should consider transgender men and women to be the gender they identify as, the gender that they are, rather than other genders unto themselves, called something like “transgender men” and “transgender women.” Unless this is what they choose— “transgender” is also a social category, a label that we have created for ourselves and others. This is a label many people may find power and community in, similar to my connection to womanhood.

I relate to the social identity of “woman”—I understand the struggles of menstruation, I’ve been sexually harassed by strangers on the street, I am proud of women’s achievements and victories throughout history and am honored to align myself with these people. However, this connection to experiences is not innately necessary to womanhood— this would shove “woman” into a box, and again exclude transgender women, women who do not menstruate, women who have never been catcalled, et cetera. One can connect to this larger picture and history of “woman” without rejecting those who do not fit it exactly. On the other hand, however, I’ve never felt entirely at home under the label “woman.” I connect to many aspects of it, but it’s never fully fit, for reasons connected to the way that I present in clothing, the way that I view the world, and thoughts and feelings I don’t have the vocabulary, understanding, or, quite frankly, the desire to decipher. I’m learning to accept and to be comfortable in my body and in my personhood, whatever that may be at the given time.

Using “non-binary woman”—or for that matter “non-binary man”—to identify oneself would interrupt the gender binary and recognize the arbitrariness of gender while still allowing acknowledgement of the importance social classes have on many people in our society. There is nothing inherently wrong with identifying within

the traditional gender binary, but one should not feel confined to only “man” or “woman.” Like Magnus Hirschfeld opined over one hundred years ago, there are as many unique genders as there are individual people. Gender is personal expression, to the utmost degree, and like any other method of expression, gender is subject to change throughout time. As of this writing, I like the notion of “non-binary woman,” allowing me to maintain my connection to womanhood while honoring all parts of myself. I may not have agreed with these identifiers a few years ago, and I may decide otherwise a few years from now, but, today, this is me.

Maggi_Feb2021

Maggi_Sept2020

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OnTheBathroomFloor_MadiNBlackwell OnTheBathroomFloor_MadiNBlackwell Sickness put everything in perspective.

“I didn’t have the energy to care who knew.”

There was no burning secret, no explosive desire to come out.

If asked, it’d be answered, “I am bi.”

written by Madi N. Blackwell To Amy Jarvis, for letting me interview her, for being an awesome person, and for being who I want to be when I grow up.

It made sense, looking back.

Barbies and Bratz weddings.

You may now kiss the bride.

Both in their white dresses, or whatever dress could be found.

Ken was never a passing thought.

It was Teen Wolf, of all things, and Allison.

Fourteen and it sunk in: “I am bi.”

It wasn’t a shock, no slap-in-the-face realization.

It was organic.

As easy as breathing.

A contemplative hour on the bathroom floor: “I am bi.”

“I didn’t feel closeted.”

High school? Sure.

Everyone was repressed.

Sex was closeted.

It didn’t matter who was sleeping with who, only that they were sleeping together.

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College came and with it, activeness.

Sexuality was identity, there was no “coming out.”

Except on National Coming Out Day, “I came out to my parents.”

Reality would settle in.

“I wasn’t sure I was ready for that.”

One Day at a Time would’ve been perfect.

The daughter came out, and it seemed like the right time.

“I’d always chicken out.”

Until that day, with a simple text, “I’m sorry I waited so long, but I’m bi.”

The response, “We knew. You weren’t good at hiding it.”

Out, and proud, and happy to be.

“It’s nice. My boyfriend and I get to look at pretty girls together, and that’s fun.”

Are you still bi when you’re with your partner?

Yes. Sexuality doesn’t change with relationships.

“I am bi.”

Constantly.

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OnTheOtherSideOfTheRainbow_TaylorThompson

OnTheBathroomFloor_MadiNBlackwell Misconceptions surround bisexuality.

Definition of alignment: “The bi stands for people of my gender and people of other genders.”

Different attractions for different people.

by Taylor Thompson

I want to understand, but I’m not understanding.

Curiosity is okay.

Ask questions.

Interest creates dialogue creates change.

If you are genuine, do not fear what’s right or wrong.

“As long as you put forth the effort.”

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T

he first time I was “exposed” to gay media was when I first started watching anime. One of my first animes was Ouran High School Host Club—an anime about a masculinepresenting person who broke a very expensive vase and was forced to join the Host Club in order to pay back their debt.

Throughout the first episode, there were multiple “gay” moments between the main character and the boys of the Host Club, and I was disgusted.

Boys liking boys? That was never heard of in my house—never spoken of. I had never been exposed to something like that before, but had heard of how wrong it was from other boys in school.

As it turned out, the main character was actually a woman who chose to present in a more masculine manner. When I discovered that, I immediately felt better, but immediately overwhelmed with shame.

Why was I perfectly fine with a girl and a boy dating, but not a boy and a boy? The more I thought about it, the more I was confused by my thought process and what

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OnTheOtherSideOfTheRainbow_TaylorThompson

exactly was so wrong about it. They were just loving another human being. There shouldn’t have been anything strange or wrong about that.

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Sometimes I still think about that day, and the shame comes back two-fold. It was hard to believe I ever felt that way after I joined the LGBTQ+ community myself.

As I mentioned, being gay was never talked about in my house. Actually, anything that had to do with sex or sexuality was never spoken about in my house. That didn’t mean it was necessarily looked down upon, but it didn’t feel like it was welcomed either. In fact, if you brought it up, you would be in the biggest of trouble.

For example, when I was twelve or thirteen, I made a reference to something Miranda Sings—a popular PG-13 YouTuber at the time—had said when my father said something that she had once responded jokingly with “that’s porn” to another YouTuber. Here’s how it went: My sisters and I were sitting at a small table in the kitchen, listening as my dad talked to my mother on the porch. I can’t remember what exactly he said to prompt me to make the joke, but I do remember his reaction.

“That’s porn!” I laughed, using Miranda Sings’ accent and everything. My sisters joined in to laugh, but my father pivoted around and stared at me as though I had killed somebody. His face turned a bit red, and he took a couple steps toward me.

“What did you just say?”

I repeated the phrase quietly, tensing up in my chair and getting ready to bolt if need be.

“You do not say that in our house, do you understand?

That is inappropriate and disgusting!” He ended up holding back the rest of his anger, and walking into the porch to sit next to my mother.

What I do remember is looking at my sisters and exchanging shrugs and looks of confusion. I also remember being terrified of getting my ass beat.

That pretty much set the precedent for everything else.

You can imagine that if we couldn’t even say something like that, then talking about being gay or questioning your sexuality, or asking about sex, was an absolute nono. And so, after a few attempts at trying to ask my mother instead, but having my questions blown off, I stopped talking about it. I kept looking into it, just because I was curious, but I never voiced my curiosities after that.

Now, this might come as a complete shock to you—it was definitely a complete shock to me—but my dad ended up confronting me about my sexuality first.

Well, not really “confronting me”—since he was drunk off his ass and barely remembered it the next morning.

My family and I were on vacation with my aunt, uncle, and cousins, and one night the adults decided to go out to a bar to “relax”, leaving me in charge. At some god awful hour of the night, the adults finally decided to come back, and cue the entrance of my drunk father.

He could barely walk up the stairs to my room, and struggled to even open the door. I was extremely concerned when he finally came in and stumbled over to me, giving me the biggest bear hug ever and stuttering out some words I can barely make out.

Slurred words. “Love… Don’t tell…” More slurred words. “Mom. She’s being mean.”

Slurred hiccupping, and some crocodile

tears. He sniffled and tried to compose himself—before finally talking coherently.

“I’ll love you forever, no matter what…

No matter who you love…I’ll still love you.

I’ll always support you…”

I was shocked. I hadn’t talked about that for a couple of years—and I stopped my research a couple months before. I had no idea where this came from or what prompted it. My mom came to get him and put him to bed before I could ask him what he was talking about. I was disappointed when I went to ask him about it the next morning and he said he didn’t remember anything from last night.

Right now, I find it quite hilarious.

My dad, the person I thought would be the least okay with a gay person in his immediate household, had known I was gay before I did. And decided he was going to “confront me” about it when he was full of liquid courage, but ended up accepting me anyway.

My proper “gay awakening”—or when I finally found out I could be attracted to females too—occurred literally a week after I had decided the world didn’t need me. I was ready to bid the world adieu, stopped myself late in the planning stages, and was sent to Philhaven—a day-school program meant to help people suffering with mental health issues.

There, I met two girls who were open about their bisexuality, and almost completely confident in it too. I felt weird about it. I had never actually been exposed to bisexuality in person, I only read articles about it and seen it vaguely in shows and movies. I never really had an open opportunity to question who I was attracted to or who I loved.

This was the perfect time. I was away from home during those days, exposed to people who didn’t identify as straight, and working on my mental health in an exposed and vulnerable state. If I was ever going to find out, now would be the time.

One of the girls there I found super attractive. She was

a little younger than me, taller than me, and confident in herself. Well, as confident you can be in a program like the one we were in. She was also really sweet and supportive, and we became friends fast.

To be perfectly honest, it wasn’t too difficult to come to terms with the fact that I wasn’t straight. I did have a lot of hesitancy about the whole thing—and it did cause me to look inside myself for a good week or two, but overall, it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. It also helped to know that my dad would at least accept me.

It felt natural to identify this way, and it sure as hell was empowering in a time where I felt I had none.

After I left there, I finally came out as bisexual.

The LGBTQ+ community was in a lot of turmoil when I came out. Biphobia had become a huge thing, and we weren’t being accepted because we had to love “one or the other.” There was no way we could actually love both, according to them.

This is what deterred me from becoming a part of the community and it deterred me from telling anyone else that I was bi. I didn’t advertise it, nor did I talk about it. And that was fine, the only one who really needed to know was me, but I didn’t need the ridicule right after I started the mental recovery process.

But then, bisexuals were attacked.

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OnTheOtherSideOfTheRainbow_TaylorThompson

Throughout the community, there was the stigma that “bi people don’t accept nonbinary people or people who don’t identify with a gender because being bisexual—by the definition at the time— means that you only like two genders; male and female.”

That really hurt. Why the hell would I not accept other people who were going through something similar to me on some level? That was total bullshit. And it

went on for what felt like forever, to the point where I didn’t want to read about it anymore and feel guilty for something I didn’t even feel.

I decided to start identifying as pansexual instead. I have no problem dating anyone from any gender identity— the exact definition of pansexuality at the time. So, I took the title, rolled with it, and became more expressive of my sexuality for the next three years of my life.

being attracted to someone sexually and romantically. Did I really have crushes on people in the past because I was sexually attracted to them? Or was everything just romantic? Was I even able to feel sexual attraction at all? At this point in time, I can’t answer any of these questions, which makes it all the more frustrating.

I know I don’t really need to put a label on myself and my sexuality, sexuality is fluid after all, but it’s hard not to want to because I want a word I can associate myself and my feelings to.

It’s frustrating and tiring, and to this day I’m still finding traces of my internalized homophobia lingering around in my head. Maybe it’s because I’m too ignorant of people in the community and their struggles.

Maybe I’ve still got those stupid conservative roots buried underneath everything else, so far down that the nagging voice is persistent and mocks me because I struggle to ignore it.

If there’s anything good that’s come out of this journey though, it’s all of the confidence I’ve gained, all of the friends I’ve made, and all of the love and support thrown my way. It’s definitely a lot nicer here on the other side of the rainbow, and given enough time I’m sure I will be able to battle the inner demon that is internalized homophobia and finally get rid of it fully. Maybe then I’ll be able to actually discover who I am. For now, I’m still fighting, but I know I won’t give up.

BehindTheMask_MadelineLanning

TriggerWarning!

Some photos use strong language and scenes that reference suicide, self-harm, and mental health issues. Please view with caution!

What I’ve realized now is that the questioning phase can last for a long time, even when you’re unaware of it. I recently began to question myself yet again since I found out there was a difference between

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BehindTheMask_MadelineLanning BehindTheMask_MadelineLanning

Photo_1 Those in the LGBTQ+ community are 2.5 times more likely to experience depression, anxiety, and substance abuse compared to heterosexuals.1

BehindTheMask_MadelineLanning

Photo_3 According to the Trevor Project™ who conducted a survey that reached out to LGBTQ+ youth 40% seriously considered suicide, during 2020, that amount was up 10% for just the trans and non-binary community.2

BehindTheMask_MadelineLanning

Photo_2 31% of older adults in the LGBTQ+ community report depressive symptoms, and 39% report serious thoughts of suicide.1

Photo_4 48% of LGBTQ+ youth practiced some form of self-harm.2

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MentalHealthInLGBTQ+Individuals_DebbiePaulus

BehindTheMask_MadelineLanning

BehindTheMask_MadelineLanning

by Debbie Paulus

Photo_5a&5b At least 10% underwent some kind of conversion therapy, 78% of them said that happened before the age of 18.2

Credentials Model: Hanorah Lucas Location: Susquehanna University; Linden Hall all photos taken followed COVID-19 guidelines the photographer was masked the subject was unmasked only for photo session 1

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Web Sources: thriveworks.com/blog/mental-health-and-illness-statistics-lgbtq/ 2 ecobear.co/suicide-cleanup/2020-national-survey/

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MentalHealthInLGBTQ+Individuals_DebbiePaulus

What is mental health?

When you think of mental health, you should think of things like positive thoughts and good ideas for yourself.

Mental health is taking care of your mind and learning how to deal with sad thoughts or actions.

It’s the way that your brain thinks and feels.

l a t n e M h t l Hea ! s r

r e t t a M

Mental health takes many forms, but it always should be important to you to take care of your emotions!

Who are LGBTQ+ Individuals?

“LGBTQ+’’ is an acronym, or a shortened way to remember a long title/group of words.

Each letter stands for a different identity, starting with lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer, and going on for many different identities.

The plus sign means there are more letters but for the sake of being shortened it stops there.

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In some ways, LGBTQ+ people may have a harder time with their mental health.

LGBTQ+ people deal with the normal emotions that everyone else deals with, but they also may deal with different emotions surrounding who they are and some people not liking them anymore.

Having this added stress will make it even harder to take care of their mental health, because now they have more to worry about.

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MentalHealthInLGBTQ+Individuals_DebbiePaulus

References Krakow, K. (2017, October 04). Lgbtq children (1316526694 967333454 O. Soret & 1316526695 967333454 A. Sellers, Eds.). Retrieved April 17, 2021, from https://www.humanium.org/en/lgbtq-children/ Queer Kid Stuff. (2020, July.) What does your self care look like?? [Video].

Youtube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvgDziC_x_g Schools. (n.d.). Retrieved April 17, 2021, from https://youth.gov/youth-topics/ lgbtq-youth/school-experiences Twinkl.com. (n.d.). Retrieved April 16, 2021, from https://www.twinkl.com/resource/t3-c-019-child-friendly-explanations-forlgbt-terms

Dealing with extra pressure on mental health So, how can these folx be expected to take care of themselves when it’s already so hard to do normally? This is where we come in!

As allies, we should all be willing to help take care of each other.

Every single thing you do can help. If someone is calling someone a name they don’t use anymore, you can help out. If you notice one of your friends seems a little sadder, reaching out helps.

There are many ways you can help out, including asking a friend if they just need someone to talk to.

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MentalHealthCrisisInTheLGBTQ+Community_RobertMorales

ContentWarning!

This article discusses suicide, hate crimes, and murder.

by Robert Morales

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eath threats, physical attacks, and alienation are unfortunately three aspects that trouble many among the LGBTQ+ community and seem to always be in the back of their minds. The community has faced countless discrimination and hate from homophobic people and laws.

This constant threat of hatred and violence has created a collective sense of anxiety and depression in the LGBTQ+ community.

Statistics show that the LGBTQ+ community, especially the transgender community, face disproportionally higher rates of mental illnesses than heterosexual and cisgender communities. On top of facing additional mental illnesses the LGBTQ+ community also faces discrimination while attempting to receive treatment for mental health disorders. The community has been, and still is, in a mental health crisis that is not being properly discussed in society.

Depression is a common mental illness in the United States, and even more common among the LGBTQ+ community.

In the article, Depression in the LGBTQ+ Population, Michael Kerr says, “74% of LGBTQ+ youth were verbally harassed because of their sexual orientation, and 55% were verbally harassed because of their gender expression” (2018). This quote illustrates that most people in the LGBTQ+ community are belittled and routinely harassed just for being themselves. These experiences can cause severe depression to arise within the members of the LGBTQ+ community.

Moreover, it is a well-known fact that depression can lead someone to suicidal thoughts and actions. The LGBTQ+ community faces higher numbers of suicides and suicide attempts every year. In the article Depression in the LGBT Population, an unfortunate

statistic stands out saying “Lesbian, gay, and bisexual youth in grade 7-12 are twice as likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual peers” (Kerr, 2018).

This statistic shows just how much damage homophobia and transphobia does to youth in the LGBTQ+ community.

Discrimination depicted in the media and real-life settings can cause members within the LGBTQ+ community experience higher rates of depression that can result in suicide if untreated.

In addition to depression, anxiety is also common. The threat of verbal and physical violence has made many members of the community has made many members of the community feel the need to perpetually be in a state of fear and/or protection.

This constant state of not knowing if they will experience discrimination or violence causes a large amount of anxiety and paranoia in the LGBTQ+ community. In the article Mental Health Challenges in the LGBTQ+ Community, “...45% have PTSD and 36% have an anxiety disorder” (Mason).

Almost half of the community has PTSD from the anti-LGBTQ+ things they have experienced and more than one third of the community has an anxiety disorder because of the discrimination and possible violence they could face.

The statistics and information are all part of a much larger concept called the Minority Stress Model. The Minority Stress Model dictates that members of a discriminated minority are much more likely to develop mental illnesses because of their minority status. As Michael P. Dentato puts it, “Stressors such as homophobia or sexual stigma that may arise from the environment require an individual to adapt but also cause significant stress, which ultimately affect physical and mental health outcomes” (Dentato, 2012). The Minority Stress Model provides sound reasoning and proof that

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MentalHealthCrisisInTheLGBTQ+Community_RobertMorales

References

of LGBTQ+ youth were verbally harassed because of their sexual orientation. discrimination is a leading factor in the modern-day mental health crisis within the LGBTQ+ community.

In addition to the large disparities of mental illness in the LGBTQ+ community, they face discrimination in getting treatment for these disorders as well. When members of the community attempt to get treatment for depression or anxiety many LGBTQ+ people face they often find the same discrimination from the people they go to for help. The American Psychiatric Association says, “Many LGBTQ people have reported experiencing stigma and discrimination when accessing health services…” (APA, no date). This is the shameful truth that needs to be challenged in the United States’ healthcare system.

Those who are supposed to provide help to those in need while maintaining objectivity, consciously and unconsciously express bias towards the LGBTQ+ community.

Although the entire LGBTQ+ community faces the issues previously mentioned, one community faces these issues at higher rates than the rest. The transgender community has far higher rates of depression, anxiety, suicide, and discrimination than the other portions of the LGBTQ+ community. Mental Health America provides the statistic that, “48% of transgender adults report that they have considered suicide in the last

31

of LGBTQ+ youth were verbally harassed because of their gender expression. year, compared to 4% of the overall US population” (MHA, no date). This statistic alone shows how much the transgender community is afflicted by the mental health crisis. Nearly half of transgender adults have reported considering suicide.

An example of a transgender hate crime is the murder of Daniela Hernandez in October 2020. Daniela was in a park in LA and was surrounded by four men and then “…stabbed and her throat was cut before the group fled…” (Rector & Pinho, 2020).

Daniela’s story is just one of thousands that occur across the globe every year and these vicious attacks need to be acknowledged and dealt with by society, rather than being swept under the rug.

In conclusion, routine acts of discrimination against LGBTQ+ members have caused the community to develop higher rates of depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideations. This discrimination even exists in the very systems designed to help.

The transgender community faces the brunt of this storm. We must provide adequate mental health services to the transgender community who experiences higher rates of discrimination. As a society we urgently need to recognize the pain and struggle LGBTQ+ people still must endure and work towards creating more inclusive mental health treatment systems.

Anxiety and depression in LGBTQ youth: What do we know and how can we help?

(2019, June 3). Retrieved April 02, 2021 from https://adaa.org/webinar/professional/ anxiety-and-depression-lgbtq-youth-what-do-we-know-and-how-can-we-help Dentato, M. P. (2012, April). The minority stress perspective. Retrieved April 02, 2021 from https://www.apa.org/pi/aids/resources/exchange/2012/04/minority-stress Kerr, M. (2018, February 28). Sexual orientation and depression: Statistics and where to find help. Retrieved April 02, 2021 from https://www.healthline.com/health/ depression/gay LGBTQ+ communities and mental health. (n.d.). Retrieved April 02, 2021 from https://www.mhanational.org/issues/lgbtq-communities-and-mental-health LBGTQ mental health: What every clinician needs to know. (2019, December 31).

Retrieved April 02, 2021 from: https://www.psychiatrictimes.com/view/lgbtq-mentalhealth-what-every-clinician-needs-know LGBTQ+. (n.d.). Retrieved April 02, 2021, from https://adaa.org/find-help/bydemographics/lgbtq Mason, S. (2020, February 07). Mental health challenges in the LGBTQ community.

Retrieved April 02, 2021 from https://www.healthpartners.com/blog/mental-healthin-the-lgbtq-community/ Rector, K., & Pinho, F. E. (2020, October 06). Transgender woman ‘brutally stabbed’ in targeted attack at MacArthur Park, police say. Retrieved April 02, 2021 fromhttps:// www.latimes.com/california/story/2020-10-06/transgender-woman-brutally-stabbeddowntown-los-angeles

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HistoricOutlineOfLGBTQ+Healthcare_TaylorNattress

First American undergoes sex change surgery.

HIV/AIDS Pandemic.

Homosexuality was completely removed from the APA list of mental disorders.

The Transsexual Phenomena.

1940s

1950s

Endocrine Society put together brief clinical practice guidelines.

1960s

1970s

1980s

First version of Standards of Care.

Congress states homosexuality is a mental illness.

1990s

Study suggesting a genetic component to sexual orientation.

American Psychiatric Association: “GenderIdentity Disorder”.

T

he medical treatment of the LGBTQ+ community in The United States is complicated. Throughout the early years of the community gaining recognition, many looked at members of the community as having mental illnesses.

As this community faced societal and legal discrimination, they also had to deal with oppression in the medical field.

Heterosexual people were considered “the norm”, so anything that strayed from this baseline was considered irregular and needed to be studied.

Throughout much of the twentieth century, same-sex sexual behavior was illegal. Homosexuality was also considered

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1948: The United States Congress issues the report called “Employment of Homosexuals and Other Sex Perverts in Government”. Thereport states that since homosexuality is a mental illness, homosexuals “constitute security risks” to the nation.1 a form of mental illness. This created a historical dual stigma attached to homosexual behaviors. This stigma and negativity around homosexuality shaped the contemporary institutions that affect health. This discussion regarding sexuality turned from legal and societal areas to medical, healthcare, and psychological areas. This transition to these topics of conversation in the mid-1900s was seen as a generally positive conversation for everyone except for those within the community. Many saw this conversation as a start to treatment and a “cure” to homosexuality rather than just the idea of equality within the medical field.

1952: The first American to undergo a sex change operation was Christine Jorgensen.

At the time, the lack of quality transgender healthcare in the U.S. meant that Jorgensen had to travel to Denmark to get the treatment she needed.1 1966: Endocrinologist Henry Benjamin had been studying transgender issues since at least the 1950s, but it was his 1966 book The Transsexual Phenomenon that left the biggest impact on American transgender healthcare. This book focused on research around the study of gender role identity and transsexuality.*3

2000s

Identified sexual orientation as one of six factors contributing to health disparities.

2010s

2020s

COVID-19 Pandemic.

The APA apologizes for treating homosexuality as a “mental illness”.

1970s: The Henry Benjamin International Gender Dysphoria Association, now better known as the World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH), issued the first version of Standards of Care for the Health of Transsexual, Transgender, and Gender Nonconforming People. This act is now in its seventh iteration which provides guidance on everything from hormone therapy to surgical interventions and everything in between.2 1980s: The AIDS epidemic, caused by HIV (Human Immunodeficiency Virus), found its way to the United States in earlier years, but was first noticed after doctors discovered clusters of sarcoma and pneumocystis pneumonia in gay men in various cities such as Los Angeles, New York City, and San Francisco in 1981.

This soon became an epidemic mostly impacting the LGBTQ+ community.2,3

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HistoricOutlineOfLGBTQ+Healthcare_TaylorNattress

1980s: “Gender identity disorder” was added to the American Psychiatric Association’s (APA) third Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-3). This seemed like a giant leap backwards for the advancement of LGBTQ+ acceptance, but this controversial move actuallyhelped transgender individuals gain access to an often impenetrable healthcare system.

Strides were slowly being made towards removing the notion of “disorder” in the context of gender identity.3 Late 1980s: In 1973, homosexuality was completely removed from the APA list of mental disorders, but it was not until the late 1980s that all formal documents were updated.3 1993: Dean Hamer, an American geneticist, author, and filmmaker, published a paper suggesting a genetic component to sexual orientation. This is still being researched.3 2009: The Endocrine Society put together brief clinical practice guidelines in an effort to make treatment of transgender patients even easier and more accessible for providers everywhere. These guidelines

cover diagnosis, treatment, and preventive care needs for transgender patients, while also drawing attention to the potential risks associated with gender transition therapies.1 2010: The United States Department of Health and Human Services published Healthy People 2010 which was an article outlining the goals of increasing the quality and years of healthy life and eliminating health disparities in America. It identified sexual orientation as one of 6 demographic factors contributing to health disparities.

This article stated that America’s gay and lesbian population comprises a diverse community with disparate health concerns such as HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases, substance abuse, depression, and suicide.2

SomethingWeDoNotKnow_JenaLui

by Jena Lui

2019: The American Psychoanalytic Association apologized for having treated homosexuality as a mental illness.3

The past is history for a reason. Partially

a story. Something we do not know from the writer’s perspective.

2020: Educators at the University of Toronto emphasized the need to educate health care practitioners about the vulnerability of LGBTQ+ people in the COVID-19 pandemic.3

I can hardly tell you one—a story—but this is a piece of China’s past: love stories and the glories that same sex couples do not have now.

References Andriote, John-Manuel. “The LGBT Health Movement, 40 Years Since Homosexuality Was a Mental Illness.” The Atlantic, Atlantic Media Company, 26 June 2013, www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/06/the-lgbt-health-movement-40yearssince-homosexuality-was-a-mental-illness/277154/

1

Institute of Medicine (US) Committee on Lesbian, et al. “Context for LGBT Health Status in the United States.” The Health of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender People: Building a Foundation for Better Understanding., U.S. National Library of Medicine, 1 Jan. 1970, www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK64801/ 2

“LGBTQ Rights Timeline in American History “ Teaching LGBTQ History.” Teaching LGBTQ History, www.lgbtqhistory.org/lgbt-rights-timeline-in-american-history

3

We’ve got China’s golden age in literature to show that love is love because ninth century poets knew something.

Something we do not know.

Poetry was obscure the way that love can be.

He or she or they or (insert your pronouns here) could have written for him, her, them, or anyone else.

And what would we know?

Because they left this piece of history as something we do not know.

Past poets must have known the power of their words.

Poems were secret love letters

to some lover or maybe even a partner.

But these poems travelled across time to be with us.

Love travelled across time to be with us.

*The language used in this article demonstrated the language used at various times throughout history. Many of these words, phrases, and meanings are not acceptable today.

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SomethingWeDoNotKnow_JenaLui

LoveIsNotLoveInChina_JenaLui

And what do we know from this? We know these days, religion can be weaponized against people,

against faith in this world, against the idea that love is more than we knew. But in the past, China was different.

Now, different is not always bad. On the contrary, quite beautiful like when you see love.

I would not call China’s past “perfect.”

But an intimate moment would not have been seen as a sin in the eyes of the Taoists.

If we could only embrace love in tolerance.

Confucianism brought people close…

maybe indirectly even closer.

So what do we know?

That literature once could convey feelings stronger than it can now.

That religion in China’s past never stopped the lovers.

The past was right.

Simply just let it be.

Something we do not know now.

MoreInformation

China’s history on same gender marriages is vague. At its best, China never had exact opinions on being gay. When it comes to Chinese literature, ninth century poetry became the golden age of Chinese literature (J.P. n.p.).

Love poems were vague when it came to who it was addressed to, and there were books like “The Dream of the Red Chamber” that included same gender relationships (J.P. n.p.). Religion was more accepting. For instance, Taoism did not condemn sex between same gender individuals. Instead, there was more indifference towards it. Then, Confucianism was keen on developing close relationships between the master and the pupils. This may have sparked much closer relationships indirectly.

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by Jena Lui Love is love because love knows something we do not know.

The love I know is different than what mom and dad show.

I grew up with the idea of boy meets girl or girl meets boy.

But that is not the only way to love.

Love is not limited by appearances,

by gender

or even by quantity

and some may have a different idea of love.

And I wonder why my mom and dad do not understand.

Yet, I look at China, the mainland, their motherland.

A place of ambiguity.

Is it okay to love the way I want love to be?

Open and free and breaking the binary.

But China is different, maybe scarier. A living barrier from what I can see

or actually, cannot see.

Soft wordings may be the closest to coming out.

A lover is not a “lover” but a “comrade.”

A kiss can only be shared among those who knew.

Sometimes, just between those two.

Could it not be easier? Think 1997 when we saw decriminalization and legality of homosexuality.

And then 2001 came out with better news.

If love is truly what we seek, you do not have to fear that it is a disorder anymore.

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LoveIsNotLoveInChina_JenaLui But it is still a game of hide and seek except the hiding feels like eternity.

Perhaps the choices we have to make leave us unhappy.

Just look back at 2010,

look at how many women

were married to gay men.

It is hard when we cannot love who we marry, but it is harder when we have to do this for family.

Where else could we go without our loved ones?

Except China is pretty hard on their sons.

I could never let my family weigh me down.

Love me one moment and then watch me drown.

Who would not fear of family’s rejection when pre-1970 parents only knew love in limited terms?

Family values give us much to lose.

Which love are we to choose?

As it is now, China is not tolerant towards those in the LGBTQ+ community. There is a lot of erasure of the community. Until 2001, China considered homosexuality a “psychopathic disorder” (Luo n.p.). Individuals have had to overcome the censorship in China. “Soft wording” has been used to overcome China’s censorship on social media. One of the instances is the usage of 同志 (comrade) instead of 同性 (gay) (Luo n.p.). To call a relationship a friendship is much easier than outright coming out or using other direct words.

Because of the importance of family in Chinese culture, men are expected to reproduce. A survey from 2010 suggests that about 80 to 90% of gay men were married to women. Another survey from 2016 was done to identify how many parents would reject a gay child. For those born before the 1970s, about 35% would reject a gay child (“LGBT Rights in China” n.p.).

For those born after the 1990s, 9% would reject a gay child (“LGBT Rights in China” n.p.)..

After receiving many petitions, a press conference in December 20, 2019 mentioned bringing the legalization of same-sex marriages into the Civil Code (Luo n.p.). There is change happening, but it is in progress.

The Chinese Proverb says, “There are three ways to be unfilial: the worst is not to produce offspring.”

Family’s idea of love give us much to lose.

Why must we continue to reproduce

possibly the same pain onto our children?

It seems that traditions are worth breaking even if it costs the parental love we were born having.

But I have hope from China’s 2019

because maybe love can be seen.

Maybe love can include same-sex marriages.

2020 brought a spotlight to the community.

Voices finally found their visibility.

Love is not love in China.

It is there but not there.

Just like the words we are not allowed to see.

We can just hope that one day love will be finally free.

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MoreInformation

References J.P. “Chinese Attitudes towards Gay Rights.” The Economist, The Economist Newspaper, 6 June 2017, www.economist.com/the-economist-explains/2017/06/05/chinese-attitudestowards-gay-rights.

“LGBT Rights in China: What Travellers Should Know Before Going!” Queer In The World, Queer In The World, 18 June 2020, queerintheworld.com/lgbt-rights-in-china/.

Luo, Jiaqi. “How to Talk About LGBTQ+ in China in 2020.” Jing Daily, Herlar, LLC, 14 Apr. 2020, jingdaily.com/how-to-talk-about-lgbtq-in-china-in-2020/.

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Two-SpiritPeopleInIndigenousCommunities_MirandaMutzabaugh

S p i r o i t Pe w T o

ommunities sC

d n I i g e n i n o e l u p

by Miranda Mutzabaugh Disclaimer! not all Indigenous tribes/nations use the term “Two-Spirit,” and they often have their own language for this term. In some cases, specific nations may not use this term and/or acknowledge this identity.

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T

he intersection of identifying clothing is usually a mixture of masculine as LGBTQ+ within Indigenous or feminine articles of clothing, or they communities is often overlooked. may dress as a man one day and a woman When people who are not on another. Indigenous dress includes Indigenous envision Indigenous garments, such as buckskins, ribbon communities, many default to dresses, beaded moccasins, breech cloth, stereotypical images presented in the or headdresses. Elders may dress children media. Their perspective on gender and in gender-neutral clothing until they sexuality is often never considered and reach an age in which they decide how never discussed. they would like to express their gender The term “Two-Spirit” is a modern umbrella identity. Image is not necessarily the key term used by some LGBTQ+ Indigenous to distinguishing Two-Spirit people, as it is people to identify people who live outside more of a focus on spirituality. of the gender and sexuality binary. The One of the most famous Two-Spirit people term was adopted in 1990. It recognizes was We’wha. We’wha was of the Zuni Indigenous persons with the spirit of both tribe in New Mexico. We’wha was assigned genders, including aspects of sexuality. Twomale at birth, but lived mostly as a woman Spirit people are often described as having and wore women’s clothing throughout two identities occupying one body. More their life. They used their strengths and than 150 pre-Colonial Native tribes had personality to unite people and cultures. All established Two-Spirit persons and that still of the members of the Zuni tribe accepted stands today (HRC Staff, 2020).

Two-Spirit people are highly RamaFirstNation_ Chippewas respected by most Indigenous societies. They are seen as hard workers who are gifted and add great value to the community. They are seen as doubly blessed, because they can see through the eyes of multiple genders and this sight is considered a gift from their Creator. They are often honored for having two spirits and are considered more spiritually gifted. Families with Two-Spirit people are considered very lucky, and they are economically benefitted by having them as a relative.

Two-Spirit people combine the activities traditionally conceptualized for men and women. (Brayboy, 2017). They occupy an alternative gender identity that is neither solely man nor woman and they distinguish trait variations among temperament, dress, lifestyle and social role. Their

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Two-SpiritPeopleInIndigenousCommunities_MirandaMutzabaugh

We’Wha

Osh-Tisch

female roles, such as amazing sewing skills, but also the strength as a warrior, which were roles traditionally assigned to men. Their sewing skills earned them the right to make the Crow Chief Iron Bulls buffalo skin lodge.

Their strength as a warrior and ferocity in battle is what earned them their name, which translates to “find them and kill them.” This also refers to the time that they helped a fellow soldier by shooting a wounded enemy in the battle of Rosebud.

During their life, Osh-Tisch did their best to always support the baté. Osh-Tisch died in 1929 and unfortunately after their death, European colonization took over.

Osh-Tisch was known as one of the last baté members. Even though this part of history was largely erased, Indigenous communities have preserved their memory.

Their story shows the skill and respect a Two-Spirit person has and how they used their role to diminish stereotypes and negativity about gender variance.

As stated before, a Two-Spirit person is responsible for roles of men and women.

Two-Spirit men could do activities traditionally assigned to men, such as going to war, hunting and/or male-only sweat lodge ceremonies. They also take on activities traditionally for women, such as cooking, cleaning, and other domestic

“Their story shows the skill and respect a Two-Spirit person has and how they used their role to diminish stereotypes and negativity about gender variance.”

Two-SpiritPeople_SueEllenJacob

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their gender identity, revered their gifts for spiritual leadership and no one ever doubted their gender identity.

We’wha was born in 1849 in New Mexico.

They did a mix of women’s tasks in daily life, but also did special functions usually assigned to men in the Zuni tribe that included spiritual, meditation, skill in crafts and knowledge for instructing others.

They were trained in traditional crafts, excelled at textiles and pottery, performed masculine tribal roles like hunting and judicial functions. We’wha was the first Zuni diplomat and gave weaving demonstrations at the Smithsonian Institute and participated in exhibits and shows at the national theater. We’wha was a bridge builder across genders and between cultures, as they learned English at a very young age and became an educator to the white colonists who claimed ownership of the American southwest (Towle, 2019).

We’wha died in 1896 in New Mexico.

They are remembered for their artistry and community advocacy. They made efforts to advance ethical engagement

with Native American communities. Even after being unjustly imprisoned on the charges of witchcraft, they continued to work alongside anthropologists and politicians to harness unique insights and communication skills to educate themselves. They served as a cultural ambassador for Indigenous people.

Another important figure in the Two-Spirit community was Osh-Tisch, who was born in 1854 and was of the Crow tribe, specifically called a Crow baté. The baté were a respected social group among the Crow who spent time with the women or among themselves. The word was used for referring to a person assigned male at birth but who was a woman (Darling, 2021). Osh-Tisch was the leader of the baté and took on both roles that were traditionally assigned to men and women, in which they excelled.

During their lifetime, they were forced into gender conformity by European colonists.

Eventually, they were able to break out of this conformity. They were esteemed not only for their roles that were typically assigned to women, but also the traditional

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Two-SpiritPeopleInIndigenousCommunities_MirandaMutzabaugh

8ThingsYouShouldKnowAboutTwoSpiritPeople

was done through missionaries, government agents, boarding schools and white colonists that worked to eradicate and erase Indigenous traditions and culture. The more damaging effects of colonization, even though physical impacts were awful enough, included the marginalization of racial/ ethnic identity and gender and sexuality (HRC, 2020). The traditions and practices in general, but specifically the practices of Two-Spirit people, became secretive and almost erased completely.

There is hope…founded in 1998 in the San Francisco Bay Area, BAAITS (Bay Area American Indian Two Spirits)

came to life. The group’s meaning is to restore and recover the role of Two-Spirit people within the American Indian/First Nations communities. They have created opportunities for Two-Spirit people to socialize, share, network and explore heritage in a safe environment. They are committed to holding culturally relevant activities for LGBTQ+ individuals for ancestry and their families and friends, with one of their biggest events being their annually held powwow. They highlight the resiliency of the Two-Spirit people all over, but especially representation in Northern California (Kuhn, et al., 2019).

References Brayboy, Duane. “Two Spirits, One Heart, Five Genders.” Awasqa: The Green Network Project. 16 Apr. 2020, greennetworkproject.org/en/2019/06/04/two-spirit-one-heartfive-generosity/.

Darling, Laura. “Osh-Tisch: The Warrior.” Making Queer History, Making Queer History. 16 Feb. 2021, www.makingqueerhistory.com/articles/2019/4/29/osh-tisch-the-warrior.

responsibilities. Two-Spirit women took on traditional female roles, but they also excelled at roles for men, like hunting and warfare. In some cases, they even could be leaders in war or chiefs.

Two-Spirit people usually perform a combination of roles and activities within the tribe. They are extremely intelligent, are very artistic and have a capacity for compassion. They are usually experts in the arts, like pottery, basket weaving, and the manufacture and decoration of items made from leather. They hold very respected roles, such as Medicine People, shamans, visionaries, or even keepers of oral traditions within the tribe. The combination of these roles make Two-Spirit people often the wealthier and most respected in the community (IHS).

Two-Spirit people hold spiritual roles in the tribe as well. They often engage in spiritual sanction, which results in supernatural intervention in the form of visions or dreams

that are defined by the tribe’s mythology.

Non-Two-Spirit tribe members do not have such access, but Two-Spirit people are visionaries and can connect this spirituality within the tribe. These spiritual roles are recognized, confirmed and highly respected by the community.

Colonization impacted all aspects of Indigenous life, including people who were Two-Spirit. When colonizers first discovered Two-Spirit people, they were shocked. European colonists used their religious identities as Christians to justify the condemnation of same-sex relations and called gender variance “sinful.” George Catlin encountered Two-Spirit people and said that they “must be extinguished before it can be more fully recorded” (Brayboy, 2020). It was known that gender fluidity was not to be tolerated.

Physically, the impacts of colonization included the spread of disease, conquest, and violence against any and all Indigenous peoples. The expectations of conformity

“It was known that gender fluidity was not to be tolerated.”

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Enos, Tony. “8 Things You Should Know About Two Spirit People.” Indian Country Today.

28 Mar. 2017. https://indiancountrytoday.com/archive/8-misconceptions-thingsknow-two-spirit-people.

Evans, Tracy. “Cultural Anthropology.” Lumen, courses.lumenlearning.com/ culturalanthropology/chapter/two-spirit/.

HIS Staff. “Two-Spirit: Health Resources.” Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Health, www.ihs.gov/lgbt/health/twospirit/.

HRC Staff. “Two Spirit and LGBTQ Identities: Today and Centuries Ago.” HRC. 23 Nov. 2020, www.hrc.org/news/two-spirit-and-lgbtq-idenitites-today-and-centuries-ago.

InQueery. “What Does ‘Two-Spirit’ Mean?” Them. 11 Dec. 2018, www.youtube.com/ watch?v=A4lBibGzUnE. Kuhn, R., Vigil, A., & Villaseñor. “Two-Spirit Voices: Returning to the Circle.” GLBT Historical Society. 05 May 2020, www.glbthistory.org/two-spirit-voices.

Ravenheart, Jules. “The Path of Two Spirit People in Native American Tribes.” Fractal Enlightenment. 18 Jan. 2018, https://fractalenlightenment.com/40009/culture/pathtwo-spirit-people-native-american-tribes Towle, Sarah. “We’wha.” History Hero BLAST, History Hero BLAST. 3 Dec. 2019, www. historyheroblast.com/historyhero/wewha.

“Two-Spirit Program.” Native Justice Coalition, www.nativejustice.org/twospirit.

Williams, Walter. “The ‘Two-Spirit’ People of Indigenous North Americans.” The Guardian, Guardian News and Media. 11 Oct. 2010, www.theguardian.com/music/2010/ oct/11/two-spirit-people-north-america.

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DearColonialism_Taishiana Tsosie

ContentWarning!

This poem contains slurs and trauma.

DearColonialism_Taishiana Tsosie

NativeStudies&QueerTheory What is Native Studies and what does it have to do with Queer Theory? They have everything to do with one another. They overlap, intertwine, and depend on each other to take form and become whole.

There are Indigenous queer people (Indige-queer) and they have existed long before colonization acknowledged them. Together, as they intersect, both Native Studies and Queer Theory direct alternative ways of viewing the world, disrupt colonial ideologies of white supremacy and systemic injustice, as well as create a collective and mutually beneficial futures that uplift everyone – the oppressed and the oppressor.

However, ideal that future may be the “bigger” issues lie in indigenous communities, lands, and families themselves. Forced colonial occupation and settlement upon Indigenous lands and in communities led to a massive amount of trauma that continues to go on and is now perpetuated by the Indigenous communities themselves. While resisting trauma, we also contribute to it, especially when it comes to Two-Spirit, Indige-queer, or Third Gendered relatives, in the forms of homophobia, transphobia, misogyny, and sexism. While every tribal nation’s colonial experience was different, we share in these struggles and injustices.

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Dear Colonialism, My people and relatives live in continual opposition to you.

The antithesis to our existence, the unnecessary creation, and most unintended of consequences.

You have a name and as much as I wish that gave me power over you, it does not.

Yet, you somehow make your way into our homes, overtake our minds, and possess our bodies.

You dare occupy the empty places along our ancestors before the fireplace, insert yourself in our stories, and pretend as if you have always been a part of us.

You are the thing that overshadows our reflections and drive us to madness with hate or indifference.

Hate our hair, Hate the colors of our skin, Hate the warm brown in our eyes, Hate the blessed forms we inhabit, Hate the way we pray and the way we believe, Hate our relatives, And Hate the way we love.

In this, we have misdirected our spite and sought to misplace blame.

In this, we have been forced turned our backs to our women, our elders, our culture, and our land.

In this, we take the blame from your shoulders and place it on ours because now, we too, are complicit in our own deterioration.

I see straight cisgendered indigenous men make jokes out of their brother who is male but loves men, who sexualize their sister whose companion is female, and taunt their relatives who inhabit both forms of male and female.

Endless lighthearted jokes that only serve to inflict heavy hearts upon those labelled “f*gs” and “queers” and “tra**ies.”

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DearColonialism_Taishiana Tsosie The silent bystanders that refuse to do something, anything other than the disappointing… nothing.

The violence, disappearances, murders, and self-inflicted deaths…

Ancestors lost too soon to monsters birthed from false righteousness and fallacies of purity.

Our third genders, the power of love-embodied, the proof that Indigenous people feel…

Now deny themselves, remain the bullied, the throwaway queens, the closeted, the trapped in a cage of shame and stigma.

Their internal medicine mixing with phobic poison like water and vodka.

We are the ones you tried to bury, the seeds that were planted, and they are the spirits you thought exterminated.

They are the healers, the cycle breakers, the scholars, the gifted leaders, and the most vulnerable as we try to reconnect past the generations of misguided hate and fear.

Their existence are our teachings and stories given two legs to walk in harmony, two arms to offer prayers, two eyes with an extra sight, two beings in one body – they are the best of us.

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