make family great again

Living Boldly with

INTENT

By Susie Robb Brinck

One of the last podcast episodes that Robert and I recordered on "Turn it Over" was titled Summer of Intention. During it, we laid out our plans to approach the summer with purpose with our children.

As divorced persons, Robert and I don’t get to spend every day with our kids. It’s one of our lives’ greatest hardships, and if you know me well enough, it’s probably my greatest source of pain. I could lament for hours about how hard it is for me as a mom, but, in my opinion, that pales in comparison to the difficulty it puts on the kids. I can’t imagine being a small child and having to be split between your parents, or to only have one parent, or far worse, to not have parents at all.

I was afforded the luxury of a 2-parent home growing up, so it’s hard for me to fathom. However, Robert is well aware of that pain having been raised solely by his mother. All that being said, there’s a gratitude and awareness we have when our kids are home that makes intentionality absolutely an apparent necessity. So we set out to make this summer count. What we found at the end, were the following take aways that I plan on implementing all year long. This isn’t just a list on how to have a great summer, this is a list to come back to time and time again, month after month.

Get Outside

Robert is very good about encouraging us all to get outside. I’m always reluctant to swim because you know that moms don’t want to get their hair wet! But nevertheless, he convinces me, and I hardly ever regret it. We have all become very fond of our time spent in the pool.

So right off the bat, Robert hosted an ‘end of school year’ pool party. He’s done this every year that I’ve known him. Of course, it was a hit! Imagine a dozen children swimming, a Goldendoodle pup, and a massive inflatable slide. Throw in some hot dogs and Capri Suns and that’s our kind of party.

We know how good the sun is for our endorphins, so even just a walk to the park or bike ride together can give the whole family a dose of good ol’ Vitamin D.

Turn Off Electronics The heat really starts beating down on us in June and July. With temperatures in the 100’s and no rain, we all start to slowly spend more and more time inside and that comes with the awful temptation called technology. Our relationship with iPads is a love-hate relationship.

We all know how easy it is to turn on the television or hand over the tablets to keep the kids entertained for a few hours. There’s no real harm until you realize they’ve been on it all day! I tell my kids that I can see their brains have turned to jello when their eyes have glossed over and their irritability is through the roof. At that point, it’s easy to feel like a failure as a parent, so Robert and I implemented intentional times when tablets and phones aren’t around. I’ve been known to forget “accidently” to bring the iPads on a family trip or to charge them overnight.

Are my children annoying on a road trip without their iPads? Absolutely, yes! But they are far better behaved, more creative and overall content. So, we didn’t bring those electronics on some of our trips to the lake. (Yes, we took them on the 14-hour drive to Colorado! I’m notthatcrazy!)

Mealtime Together If you follow me on Instagram, then you know that I’m always cooking. Always. Feeding a family of seven and keeping them full is no joke! So, I’ve come to learn that the children can help cook and clean with me. This has been especially enjoyable for Sarah and me. I want her to be confident in the kitchen and know some of these recipes that I learned from my grandmother. Now it’s been messy and we’ve both been burned! But it’s memorable and it’s a skill that she can carry with her forever! Even if you have sons, teach them a recipe that they love to eat. Make it together every time so that they’ll remember how to do it and recall the fondness of making it with you! Plus, studies show that if children help make their own food, they are more likely to eat it. So, if you have picky eaters like me, it’s a great way to open their minds to try new foods!

However, it doesn’t end there. After the dinner is prepared and the food is served, sit down together as a family, and bless the meal. Robert is better at this than me. However, if we are intentional about it, we can make sure it happens. And there’s nothing sweeter than listening to little children pray! You may have to be the one who starts things off, but let them try and encourage them always, never judge.

We have almost bitten our tongues off listening to a prayer that went on and on and on about soccer, but we know not to interrupt, but to let them get comfortable talking to their Maker.

Family Sabbaths Robert believes that family vacations are some of the most lasting memories for kids. At first, I didn’t agree. I don’t think you have to take trips to create a happy childhood. However, that wasn’t his intention at all. He reminded me how much the kids love it when I’m not working and how designated time spent together means the most! So, it’s not that you must go somewhere, it’s that you should have time together that is set apart or kept holy for your family.

We had the absolute privilege to take a trip to Silverthorne, Colorado with the whole family for our “family sabbath”. If you followed along on Instagram, you may have seen us hiking, horseback riding, playing tennis, attending concerts, and playing board games. It was absolutely wonderful. Be sure you take extended time away from your work and your cell phones to spend time with your children.

Consider camping in the backyard or packing a picnic to enjoy at a local pond (bring the fishing poles!). If you can make a weekend out of it, they’ll never forget that time you spent together as a family but take pictures just in case you need to remind them!

Stay Active I have one kid who likes to work out with me more than the others. He’ll pick up a set of dumbbells and talk my ear off when I’m lifting weights. I have another who always wants to walk with me and yet another who wants me to swing on the monkey bars at the park. However, I honestly don’t like working out, but I know it’s so good for my body and my mental health. The benefits are also true for our children.

Sometimes I’ll let the kids pick out songs that we can listen to while we move our bodies, though I’m not too fond of their tastes in music. On lazy weekends, we will let them come to the tennis courts with Robert and me. If they don’t want to play, that’s okay but we insist they be the ball boy.

Some kids are naturally more active than others so don’t be disheartened if your child doesn’t want to do activities that involve working up a sweat. However, if you try different approaches, make it a game, or a contest, you can get them moving and endorphins flowing. We all feel so much better after we work out!

Grayson, 16

Sarah , 8

Consider camping in the backyard or packing a picnic to enjoy at a local pond (bring the fishing poles!). If you can make a weekend out of it, they’ll never forget that time you spent together as a family but take pictures just in case you need to remind them!

Campbell, 9 Luke, 14

Time with Jesus

By far the most rewarding exercise was our “Summer of Scriptures”. I wanted the kids to get more of the word of God outside Sunday mornings. As moms, it’s so easy to write ourselves off as incompetent teachers, but that’s a lie from the pit of hell. We are the best and most qualified teachers for our children, and I mean that about their education and their walk with God. Don’t let the enemy trick you into staying silent because ‘you don’t read your Bible enough’ or you believe that you’ll sound like a hypocrite. Rebuke those thoughts and try what we did.

Each week, I found a short verse in the Bible that I wanted us to read together; Google works, too, if you need ideas on which scripture to pick. On Mondays, we would write down the verse and talk about what it meant to us. On Tuesdays, we would write down the verse on a rock and decorate it. Then we would go for a walk and leave it somewhere it could be found by a stranger. On Wednesdays, we wrote it on cards and stuck them in the mail. On Thursdays, we wrote each word on a piece of paper and shuffled them all up. Whoever could put the verse back together the fastest won a prize! On Fridays, we talked about the scripture one more time and reflected on its meaning.

The following week we would take that first day to recount the previous memorized verses. There is something profoundly powerful about teaching your children the word of God. They remember it and they hide it in their heart. My eyes are filling up with tears just thinking about it.

What I didn’t expect was for the summer to go by so fast. Even the kids commented on how quick it went and before we knew it, we were scrambling to get ready for school this year. But like I said, what I learned this summer by practicing intentionality will go with me moving forward. We are still eating together and saying our prayers, we are still learning scriptures and taking breaks from electronics.

Don’t lose heart, mama, it’s a marathon and not a sprint. Some days, weeks and months will be better than others. The point is that you try. Those attempts, however small or infrequent, are moments of intention that can be built upon. God speed.

“The Shepherd laughed too. “I love doing preposterous things,” he replied. “Why, I don’t know anything more exhilarating and delightful than turning weakness into strength, and fear into faith, and that which has been marred into perfection. If there is one thing more than mother which I should enjoy doing at this moment it is turning a jellyfish into a mountain goat. That is my special work,” he added with the light of a great joy in his face. “Transforming things —to take Much-Afraid, for instance, and to transform her into—“ He broke off and then went on laughingly. “Well, we shall see later on what she finds herself transformed into.”

Hannah Hurnard, Hindsfeet on High Places

Some content taken from Hindsfeet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard Copyright © 1955. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers. All rights reserved.