CRR Jan 2016

CRREADER.COM • January 10 – February 14, 2016 • COMPLIMENTARY Helping you discover and enjoy the good life in the Columbia River region at home and on the road.

Winter TREATS page 26

COLUMBIA RIVER

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A

s we worked to wrap up this issue, the first snow of the new year began falling — like confectioner’s sugar sifting down, gradually blanketing everything in view with purity and light.

Snow here is usually something of a surprise and always a special treat — to many of us, at least. Some people shift gears, lay in supplies, light the fire and hunker down. Some become more festive, like they’re on holiday.

Sue’s Views

Once, a few of the naughtiest of the many boys on our block — not my brothers, of course — carried buckets of water to pour onto the street, hoping it would freeze to create an ice rink.

When the adults found out, there was big trouble.

Except for road hazards, driving challenges and the inevitable, unsightly brown slush which follows, to me snow is a welcome thing, bringing out the “inner child” and triggering fond memories.

Back in “the day,” school closures were less common than today. I remember waking up early when the possibility of snow was forecast, checking the news on the bathroom radio my dad used for listening to the “Scandinavian Interlude” and Squeak Holbrook’s “Sportscope” while shaving each morning.

With fingers crossed (especially if our homework was not done or a test was scheduled) my brothers, Mike and

Publisher/Editor: Susan P. Piper Columnists and contributors: Dr. Bob Blackwood Todd Cullings Daniel Kellner Melissa Kirk Suzanne Martinson Gary Meyers Kate Packard Michael Perry Ned Piper Perry Piper Amy Renfranz Alan Rose Greg Smith Shirley Smith Joan Tolby Production Staff: Production Manager/Photographer: Perry E. Piper Editorial/Proofreading Assistants: Merrilee Bauman Lois Sturdivant Michael Perry Marilyn Perry Advertising Representatives Ned Piper, Manager 360-749-2632 Sue Lane 360-261-0658 Columbia River Reader, LLC P.O. Box 1643 • Rainier, OR 97048 Website: www.CRReader.com E-mail: publisher@crreader.com Phone: 360-749-1021 Subscriptions $26 per year inside U.S. (plus $2.08 sales tax mailed to Washington addresses).

It would be a fun day in the neighborhood, with snowball fights, the building of snowmen and snow forts and even sledding. It was, literally, pretty rough sledding, living in Longview’s flatland without the benefit of gravity and a hill. Kids could only take turns straining to pull each other along the sidewalk.

Happy New Year!

Let it snow.

John, and I hoped that maybe, just maybe, the necessary three inches of snow had fallen and school would be canceled. When the miracle happened, joyful celebration ensued. Yippee! No school!

We stuck pretty close to home, playing outside all day, at regular intervals going indoors where our mother would serve hot chocolate with miniature marshmallows. In each “pit stop,” we would strip off wet hats and gloves, exchange them for just-dried ones and go back outside. The dryer ran continuously.

scoop up a bowl of pristine snow and add sugar and vanilla, making a rather thin confection more like a slushie than ice cream. But the whimsy and novelty made this a delicious ritual.

In school, we learned the science of snowflakes, each one being crystalline and unique. But I never witnessed the intricate form firsthand with my own eyes. We tried catching flakes on black construction paper to view through a magnifying glass, but our typical snow is probably too wet for flakes to remain intact as they land.

Still, I knew they were amazing and marvelous, even more impressive than the white folded paper snowflakes we cut out with manicure scissors to hang in our classroom windows.

Everyone may not agree, but whether it’s just a dusting or a foot deep, I say snow is a lovely gift from above. Bring it on — and let it snow!

Happy New Year!

Sometimes, guided by our mother, we made “snow ice cream.” We’d carefully

Sue Piper

Columbia River Reader . . . helping you discover and enjoy the good life in the Columbia River region at home and on the road.

In this Issue

ON THE COVER Austin Boggs, cross-country skiing at Marble Mountain Sno-Park, with Noah, an English Pointer, and Flip, a Beagle. See story, page 17.

4

Letters to the Editor / Besides CRR...What Are You Reading?

Photo by Amy Renfranz.

5

Cover to Cover ~ Book Review / Bestsellers List

6

HaikuFest 2016

6

Dispatch from the Discovery Trail: The Journey Continues

7

Miss Manners

Cover Design by Columbia River Reader is published monthly, with 13,500 copies distributed free throughout the Lower Columbia region in SW Washington and NW Oregon. Entire contents copyrighted by Columbia River Reader. No reproduction of any kind allowed without express written permission of the publisher.

Opinions expressed herein belong to the writers, not necessarily to the Reader.

Reader submission guidelines: See page 24.

CRREADER.COM Access the current issue, Dining Guide and Columbia River Reader Past Issue Archives (from January 2013), under “Features.”

10

Astronomy: Poetic License in the Winter Sky

12

10 Tips to Help Reach a Healthy Weight

13 “Auf Wiedersehen,” from Daniel Kellner 15

The Settlements that Became Warrenton

16-17 On Our Mountain: Ranger Reflections / Searching for Snow 19

Where Do You Read the Reader?

20

Cooking with the Farmer’s Daughter: Sniffing for Treats

22

John Howerton: World-class, Ultra Endurance Athlete

23

Are you Ready? The Big One is Due

24-25 Outings & Events Calendar 26

Columbia River Dining Guide

27

Lower Columbia Informer ~ Tech Highlights of 2015

28

Snowbird To-Do List: Goldwater Memorial in Phoenix

29

Movies ~ Three for the New Year

30

The Spectator ~ Stuck on a stormy night Columbia River Reader / January 10 – February 14, 2016 3

Letters to the Editor 9-1-1 dispatchers: The backbone of law enforcement As a retired 9-1-1 Dispatcher (20 years) I thoroughly enjoyed Chaplain Tom Haan’s column (CRR Nov/Dec 2015).

counseling was something new then.

I had sleepness nights for over two weeks after one incident, but went on about my life, going to work, repeat, repeat, repeat. I remained a dispatcher to finish out a 20-year career, and many of our dispatchers have stayed on as long or longer. I am disheartened to learn of the turnover rate in the country...

I first began my career in law enforcement with LAPD in the 1960s, very turbulent times. I worked the radio during the first Watts Riot ... I don’t think as a rookie (young) radio operator that I completely understood the gravity of the situation. I had never been in that part of the city, didn’t understand the mentality of rioting, nor could I picture in my mind what the situations looked like. Of course, not one of us got any counseling afterwards. I don’t even know if the officers involved did. It was just do your job, go home, and come back the next day to do it again.

Hopefully, more and more dispatchers will avail themselves of the counseling services. I will always have a special place in my heart for the men and women who work in 9-1-1 centers.

They are rarely noticed as the backbone of law enforcement, and the glue that keeps the Department together. Hooray for 9-1-1 and all the good that they do. God bless them all.

Barbara Lauinger Kalama, Washington

Several years later … I was a dispatcher in a cow county in Northern California.

As time went on the county grew larger, more crime developed, and we hired more dispatchers and deputies. I never encountered an incident like the one that Chaplain Haan wrote about in his column (the suicidal subject), but there were other incidents … Not once was I or any other dispatcher offered any counseling. In fact, the

Original • Local • Cheerful Things to do • Places to go Columbia River Dining Guide All about the good life Good fire starter — after you’ve read it!

BESIDES COLUMBIA RIVER READER...

What are you reading?

By Alan Rose

Popular author’s final book reflects familiar themes

C

athy LaBerge found Ivan Doig’s novel, Last Bus to Wisdom, “a pleasure to read.”

It’s 1951. Donal Cameron, an 11-year-old boy, lives with his grandmother where she works as a cook on a Montana ranch. When she becomes ill, she puts the boy on a Greyhound bus (“the dog bus”) to his aunt in Wisconsin. But the mean spirited Aunt Kate is “not a nice person,” and she puts him on a bus back to Montana. Accompanying Donal is Kate’s husband, Herman, a former German POW, excited to both escape his wife and to explore the “wild, wild west.”

Readers who know Ivan Doig’s work will find a number of familiar themes: a motherless boy, a journey of selfdiscovery, and coming of age in a world that no longer exists.

“The book evokes a simpler time,” Cathy said. “The two have a series of adventures and misadventures — there are many funny moments though it’s a serious book — finally ending up in Wisdom, Montana.”

Cathy LaBerge For LaBerge, reading the novel had a special poignancy, knowing that this would be Ivan Doig’s last. He died in April 2015 at the age of 75. “For a last book this was really awesome,” Cathy said.

Many local residents heard Mr. Doig speak in September 2013 in Longview at a lecture sponsored by The Longview Library Foundation. The Bartender’s Tale and Sweet Thunder are among the books he had written recently.

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Attention, Readers!

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Cover to Cover

Top 10 Bestsellers PAPERBACK FICTION

PAPERBACK NON-FICTION

1. The Martian Andy Weir, Broadway, $15 2. My Brilliant Friend Elena Ferrante, Europa Editions, $17 3. Ready Player One Ernest Cline, Broadway, $16 4. Station Eleven Emily St. John Mandel, Vintage, $15.95 5. A Man Called Ove Fredrik Backman, Washington Square Press, $16 6. Brooklyn Colm Toibin, Scribner, $15 7. A Brief History of Seven Killings Marlon James, Riverhead, $17 8. The Rosie Project Graeme Simsion, S&S, $15.99 9. The Best American Short Stories 2015 T.C. Boyle, Heidi Pitlor (Eds.), Mariner, $14.95 10. Euphoria Lily King, Grove Press, $16

1. The Boys in the Boat Daniel James Brown, Penguin, $17 2. Lost Ocean Johanna Basford, Penguin, $16.95 3. The Mindfulness Coloring Book Emma Farrarons, Experiment, $9.95 4. The Mindfulness Coloring Book: Volume Two Emma Farrarons, Experiment, $9.95 5. Astoria Peter Stark, Ecco, $15.99 6. In the Heart of the Sea Nathaniel Philbrick, Penguin, $17 7. Animal Kingdom Millie Marotta, Lark Books, $14.95 8. I Am Malala Malala Yousafzai, Back Bay, $16 9. Tropical World Millie Marotta, Lark Books, $14.95 10. The Big Short Michael Lewis, Norton, $15.95

BOOK REVIEW

HARDCOVER FICTION 1. All the Light We Cannot See Anthony Doerr, Scribner, $27 2. Felicity Mary Oliver, Penguin Press, $24.95 3. Last Bus to Wisdom Ivan Doig, Riverhead, $28.95 4. Go Set a Watchman Harper Lee, Harper, $27.99 5. The Girl in the Spider’s Web David Lagercrantz, Knopf, $27.95 6. Fates and Furies Lauren Groff, Riverhead, $27.95 7. The Girl on the Train Paula Hawkins, Riverhead, $26.95, 8. The Japanese Lover Isabel Allende, Atria, $28 9. Avenue of Mysteries John Irving, S&S, $28 10. Welcome to Night Vale Joseph Fink, Jeffrey Cranor, Harper Perennial, $19.99

HARDCOVER NON-FICTION 1. The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up Marie Kondo, Ten Speed Press, $16.99 2. Between the World and Me Ta-Nehisi Coates, Spiegel & Grau, $24 3. Thing Explainer Randall Munroe, Houghton Mifflin, $24.95 4. H Is for Hawk Helen MacDonald, Grove Press, $26 5. M Train Patti Smith, Knopf, $25 6. Brave Enough Cheryl Strayed, Knopf, $16.95 7. Notorious RBG Irin Carmon, Shana Knizhnik, Dey Street, $19.99 8. Furiously Happy Jenny Lawson, Flatiron, $26.99 9. Gratitude Oliver Sacks, Knopf, $17 10. Pacific Simon Winchester, Harper, $28.99

Brought to you by Book Sense and Pacific Northwest Booksellers Association, for week ending Dec. 27, 2015, based on reporting from the independent bookstores of Alaska, Washington, Oregon, Idaho and Montana. For the Book Sense store nearest you, visit www.booksense.com

MASS MARKET

CHILDREN’S INTEREST

1. The Name of the Wind Patrick Rothfuss, DAW, $8.99 2. The Martian Andy Weir, Broadway, $9.99 3. Dune Frank Herbert, Ace, $9.99 4. The Official Scrabble Players Dictionary, Fifth Edition Merriam-Webster, $8.50 5. A Game of Thrones George R.R. Martin, Bantam, $9.99 6. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Douglas Adams, Del Rey, $7.99, 7. American Gods Neil Gaiman, HarperTorch, $7.99 8. Outlander Diana Gabaldon, Dell, $9.99 9. Gray Mountain John Grisham, Dell, $9.99 10. The Wise Man’s Fear Patrick Rothfuss, DAW, $9.99

1. Star Wars: Absolutely Everything You Need to Know Adam Bray, et al., DK Publishing, $19.99 2. Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard: The Sword of Summer Rick Riordan, Hyperion, $19.99 3. Harry Potter Coloring Book Scholastic, $15.99 4. Star Wars: The Force Awakens Visual Dictionary Pablo Hidalgo, DK Publishing, $19.99 5. The Boys in the Boat (Young Readers Adaptation) Daniel James Brown, Viking, $17.99 6. Phoebe and Her Unicorn Dana Simpson, Andrews McMeel, $9.99 7. The Story of Diva and Flea Mo Willems, Tony DiTerlizzi (Illus.), Disney/Hyperion, $14.99 8. Star Wars: The Force Awakens Incredible Cross-Sections Jason Fry, Kemp Remillard (Illus.), DK Publishing, $19.99 9. Nimona Noelle Stevenson, HarperTeen, $12.99 10. The Marvels Brian Selznick, Scholastic, $32.99

CLIP AND SAVE for easy reference at your bookstore or when browsing at your local library, bookshop, e-book source or book-loving friend’s shelf.

By Alan Rose The Witches, Salem, 1692

By Stacy Schiff Little, Brown & Company $30

In 1692 the Massachusetts Bay Colony executed fourteen women, five men, and two dogs for witchcraft.

So begins Stacy Schiff’s account of the Salem witchcraft trials, one of those moments of collective insanity that occurs from time to time. As the best historians do, Schiff, the author of Cleopatra: A Life, takes us into the raw, pulsing day-to-day world of the past, a world where the Devil is real — not as a metaphor for evil, but a living, breathing presence.

While recent scholarship has softened the harsher criticism of the Puritans (H.L.

Sacrificing on the altar of our fears To cast aspersions on a bewitched girl, to visit one’s imprisoned spouse too regularly, was to risk accusation.

Questioning the validity of witchcraft, the legitimacy of the evidence, or the wisdom of the court bordered on the heretical; the more you resisted, the deeper you dug yourself in. Imputations proved impossible to outrun. The word of two ministers could not save an accused parishioner. Neither age, fortune, gender, nor church membership offered immunity. Prominent men stood accused alongside homeless five-year-old girls. Many braced for the knock at the door. ~ from The Witches, Salem, 1692

Mencken defined Puritanism as “the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy”), Schiff’s portrayal of them would probably not make you too pleased to see them pull up with their moving van as your new neighbors. They do appear to be a rather glum and joyless lot, and intolerant of any religious freedom besides their own.

Alan Rose, author of Tales of Tokyo, The Legacy of Emily Hargraves and The Unforgiven organizes the monthly WordFest gatherings. He can be reached at www.alan-rose.com, at www.Facebook.com/Alan.Rose.

Author, and www.Facebook.com/WordFestNW.

The trials started with several teenage girls believing — or saying they did — that they were being “afflicted” by certain women who were witches in the community. The Devil was alive and well in Salem town! The mystery is why they were believed and how quickly the hysteria spread.

Over the course of that year, there were 200 arrests and nineteen executions (not including the dogs.) Given that the population of Salem was only about 600 people, one’s chances of being accused of being a witch were pretty good. What was more surprising was the number of self-confessions, most made without what our modern euphemistic age calls “enhanced interrogation techniques.” People confessed to witchcraft crimes they couldn’t possibly have committed. The Devil was the Great Deluder and you could be in his power without even realizing it. (If so many people say I’m a witch, then I must be a witch!) People were willing to sacrifice their faith on the altars of their fears.

As the hysteria mounted and the Salem citizenry accused, imprisoned, and hanged more and more of their neighbors, non-Puritan Boston down the road believed it couldn’t happen to more deserving folks.

Voltaire once noted that where people believe absurdities, they will soon commit atrocities. Especially as we enter into a presidential election year, when absurdities seem particularly more prevalent, it is well to be reminded of our human predisposition toward fear and scapegoating. As history has shown time and time again, the greatest evil we have to fear is usually from within.

The final irony is that the Puritans were right: Metaphorically, if not literally, the Devil was in their midst.

And they themselves became his instruments.

•••

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Columbia River Reader / January 10 – February 14, 2016 5

HaikuFest

Lewis & Clark

The journey continues: never a dull moment!

N

ot all members of the Corp of Discovery were experienced outsdoorsmen.

George Shannon came close to starving to death when he got lost at the end of August in 1804 while hunting for missing horses. In his attempt to return to the boats, Shannon followed an Indian trail; while he thought he was behind the party, he was in fact ahead of them. After 16 days, he decided he was never going to catch up with them and was found sitting on the riverbank, hoping to catch a ride back to St. Louis with a French trapper.

He must have been a poor marksman, for Clark wrote “thus a man had the like to have Starved to death in a land of Plenty for the want of Bullitts.”

Shannon had gone “12 days without any thing to eate but Grapes & one Rabit, which he Killed by shooting a piece of hard Stick in place of a ball.”

Meanwhile, Lewis and Clark were worried about the Teton Sioux Indians. They knew a Teton war party had recently raided the Omahas, killing more than 70 people and capturing dozens more as slaves.

The Teton Sioux were a large and aggressive tribe who controlled the land on both sides of the river and had prevented small groups of traders from passing without paying tribute.

Lewis and Clark knew they had to deal with them since the Omaha survivors reported the Teton Sioux intended to prevent the Expedition from continuing up the river. President Jefferson had specifically instructed Lewis to make friends with the Watercolor titled “York,” by Charles M. Russell, 1908.

Teton Sioux; however, This painting depicts an event that took place in March of 1805 when a Hidatsa if Lewis recalled that chief spit on his finger and tried to rub the black color off Clark’s slave, York, but to order, he didn’t succeed. no avail. York was about 30 years old and was a big, very dark, strong, agile man

Some readers have experienced the fear of driving across the Dakotas and being caught by a winter storm. Today, with who had been Clark’s lifelong companion from childhood. While still a slave, York September 24th: the reliable weather was treated as a full member of the expedition. Throughout their journey, Indians beginning of some forecasts and motels were fascinated by York and thought he was “the big Medison.” Plains Indians tense days along the way, few frequently shared their wives with strangers possessing wealth or power they didn’t First, the Teton Sioux people actually get have. While Expedition journals make no mention of York’s sexual activities, the stole the last horse stranded. But Lewis 1814 narrative edition, prepared by Nicholas Biddle from the original journals, the expedition had. and Clark had no way included additional information based on discussions with Captain Clark and told Efforts to get the horse of knowing what lay of a warrior who invited York to spend the night with his wife, standing guard at the back failed when three ahead when, 211 years door to prevent any interruptions, believing he could transfer some of York’s power chiefs met with Lewis ago, the expedition to himself through his wife. and Clark to hear traveled through what the standard speech is now South Dakota, promoting peace and trading. The working their way up the Missouri River. On September 15, 1804, Clark wrote “this chiefs were not impressed with the evening is verry Cold… the wind is hard from the N W.” Three days later, Lewis wrote medals and presents, but being invited “this day saw the first brandt on their return from the north.” That was not a welcome aboard the keelboat for some whiskey sight since they were hoping to at least get to the Mandan Indian villages in present was a different story. The chiefs were day North Dakota before winter snows set in. “exceedingly fond of it, they took up an The weather was changing. On September empty bottle, Smelted it, and made many 23rd Clark wrote “aire remarkably dry – in Simple jestures and Soon began to be We are pleased to present 36 hours two Spoonfuls of water aveporated in Installments 6-8 of Michael Perry’s troublesome.” a sauser.” On September 19th, they began popular 33-month series which began cont page 8 with CRR’s April 15, 2004 inaugural recording temperatures each morning and issue. During the Bicentennial again at 4pm each day. Over the next Michael Perry enjoys Commemoration of the Lewis and month, morning temperatures ranged from local history and Clark Expedition, each installment 38 to 58 degrees, and the afternoon highs travel. His popular covered their travels during the 33-installment Lewis ranged between 40 and 86. Clark wrote corresponding month 200 years prior. & Clark series “the leaves of all the trees as ash, elm &c We are repeating the series for the appeared in CRR’s enjoyment of both longtime and more except the cottonwood is now fallen.” The early years and is recent readers. men awoke to frost on the ground several making an “encore” To find prior installments visit times in early October. Clearly, winter appearance, crreader.com was near. beginning with the Click “Features,” then “Archives.”

July 2015 issue.

6 /January 10 – February 14, 2016 / Columbia River Reader

Get out your quills, it’s time for HaikuFest

By Gary Meyers

“Haiku poetry — think old pond, lily pads, frog frog jumps, splash, the end.”

O

kay, so maybe the opening haiku isn’t a prizewinner but we now have, hopefully, your attention: Columbia River Reader’s 7th HaikuFest is hereby announced.

Back in 2008 when we first proposed a Haiku contest, our publisher/editor, Sue Piper, was skeptical (“Haiku and loggers? Have you lost your mind, Gary?!”). Nevertheless, Sue graciously agreed to a trial run but only after assuring me that should my cockamamie idea ruin CRR’s reputation, I would be back to raking sand and handing out beach towels to rich tourists in Waikiki.

With that image haunting me, the event was launched with minimal expectations. We hoped for a few teachers and students, some family members and relatives, maybe a few romanticists, some out-of-work poets perhaps, and maybe even a reader or two who didn’t know the difference between a haiku and a limerick.

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Underscoring how poorly we sometimes read readers’ interests, the first event finished with 133 entries from as close as Commerce Avenue to as far away as Bangkok, Thailand, and its popularity has grown each year since! At the moment then, Sue is happy, CRR’s reputation remains intact, and my kiosk on Waikiki beach remains shuttered.

But realizing how fragile my reputation is at CRR, I’m pleading now for all haiku poets in the region, real or imagined, to support our Seventh Haiku Fest. Here are this year’s rules:

•Entries can be submitted electronically (the preferred method) to haikucenter@aol.com (please put “CRR HaikuFest entry” in the subject line) or by snail mail to Gary Meyers, 3045 Ala Napuaa Place #1406, Honolulu, HI 96818.

•Judges will be the same group distinguishing itself in previous years.

They are all friends, all professionals, all dedicated to giving each entry Here are a couple of entries from a thorough vetting, previous events to get creative and all impervious, juices flowing: as far as I know, to Traditional bribery.

Dusk settles on pond •Entries will be Wisps of fog creep from the woods accepted until Loons trumpet their song. midnight on Feb. Pop New phenomenon Teens running into lamp poles Cell phones found at scene.

•While we recognize that haiku has evolved into a poetry form where line and syllable counts are blurred in some circles, we maintain the traditional format, i.e., first line five syllables, second line seven syllables, third line five syllables.

•The HaikuFest is free and open to all.

•We will accept entries in two categories: Classic (nature-based with extra points given for Pacific Northwest and Columbia River flavors); and Pop (free spirit, humorous, contemporary).

The “Publisher’s Citation,” a separate award, will spotlight one selection made by — surprise! — the publisher.

25, 20 16, with results announced in the March 15 edition of CRR.

•Forms of recognition are yet to be determined but don’t expect Ferraris or vacations in the south of France.

Send your entries early before the judges start to doze off. With your help, the 7th Annual Haiku Fest will be the most successful yet, my byline will stay out of the CRR trashcan, and my kiosk on Waikiki beach will remain shuttered.

•••

•Each participant may submit up to five previously unpublished haiku. All entries become the property of CRR.

Gary Meyers grew up in Longview and now lives in Honolulu. He is the founder of CRR’s annual haiku contest and an occasional contributor of one-ofa-kind stories.

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Miss Manners

Reading while walking or at a social event; polite way to say “shut up!” By Judith Martin

DEAR MISS MANNERS: During my student days, I was always reading — at home, in restaurants, on the subway. Even on the sidewalk.

as flowers sent before the event — is charming, it is hardly necessary when the host is a member of the family being honored.

This habit ended abruptly one day when I walked into a lamppost and apologized to it before I realized what I had run into.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How do you politely tell someone they talk much too much and should just shut up?

GENTLE READER: Allow Miss Manners to assure you that technically, banging into a lamppost is not an etiquette violation, as you did not offend another person. Indeed, you serve as a lesson to those who multi-task, for which Miss Manners thanks you. Perhaps that will make up for the presumed lack of response on the part of your victim.

GENTLE READER: “Thank you; I enjoyed hearing this. Now if you’ll excuse me …”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My exhusband, his girlfriend and I recently hosted an engagement party for our daughter and her fiancée at his home.

The party was lovely, and the couple thanked everyone repeatedly during and after the evening.

My daughter tells me that her father has hinted that she was rude for not bringing a hostess gift. He has recently moved into a beautiful home that is stuffed to the rafters. They have everything they could possibly want or need, and yes, I know that’s not the point of a hostess gift.

I feel that when one throws an engagement party for one’s children, no hostess gift is required. Will she be expected to give us a gift after her wedding reception, too?

Please help me defuse this situation, or enlighten me so that I may apologize for my own poor manners.

(I didn’t bring a gift either.)

GENTLE READER: Is it your ex-husband’s intention to give your daughter lessons in greed and extortion in connection with her nuptials?

Miss Manners does not seem to be able to get it across to people that asking for presents is always rude, greedy and nasty. It doesn’t matter what the occasion is, or how customary it is for presents to be given.

Certainly, your daughter owes her father and the hostess thanks for throwing the party. She does not owe him payment, either in money or in goods. And while an additional appreciative gesture — such

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A coworker invited me to her home for a potluck dinner and a pay-per-view fight. I’ve never been interested in ultimate fighting, but I happily engaged with the hosts and other guests before and after the fight.

During the fight itself, I sat quietly on a lounge chair and read a book on my e-reader. I’m not sure whether anyone noticed, or if anyone else was engaged in anything beyond eating and spectating.

My husband says it was rude to read during the fight. I say that I was sitting in the back using a nonlighted screen (so screen brightness wouldn’t have distracted others) and so therefore my behavior was fine.

What do you think?

GENTLE READER: That your husband was correct. Whether or not you were caught, Miss Manners assures you that pulling out your own entertainment communicates to your hosts that you find theirs boring.

If you were invited to dinner and found the conversation not to your liking, would you do the same? You were invited to watch the fight and, as you accepted, it would have been polite at least to make the pretense of being interested in it. Or you could have found other ways to occupy yourself, perhaps freeing the hosts to watch by asking to help replenish drinks and snacks. The effect should be of looking after other people’s entertainment, not exclusively your own.

••• Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

Columbia River Reader / January 10 – February 14, 2016 7

Lewis & Clark

cont from page 6

The chiefs resisted efforts to be put ashore; when a warrior grabbed the line holding the pirogue and one of the chiefs demanded a canoe load of presents before allowing the expedition to go on, Clark drew his sword and Lewis called all the men to arms. The swivel cannon was aimed at shore and the men loaded their rifles. The Indians strung their bows and took arrows from their quivers. Lewis held a lighted taper over the cannon and refused to back down. Disaster was averted when the warriors began to back off. Clark offered to shake hands with the few who remained, but they refused. Two of the three chiefs stepped forward and offered to stay on the keelboat that night to ensure peace. The next morning, they asked Lewis to stay another night.

The Teton Sioux put on a grand pageant and feast That evening they performed a scalp dance (with scalps from a recent raid against the neighboring Omaha Indians). Clark described it: “A large fire made in the Center, about 10 musitions playing on tamberins made of hoops & skin stretched, long sticks with Deer & Goats Hoofs tied So as to make a gingling noise and many others of a similar kind,

those men began to Sing & Beet on the Tamboren, the women Came forward highly Deckerated in their way, with the Scalps an Trofies of war of ther father Husbands Brothers or near Connection & proceeded to Dance the war Dance.”

While returning from the pageant, Clark’s pirogue crashed into the keelboat and broke its anchor line.

Clark ordered “all hands up & at their ores” to keep the loose boat from slipping into the swift current.

The Indians became alarmed by the commotion and thought they were being attacked. In no time, there were 200 warriors lined up on the bank, while the men on board had their guns loaded and aimed. Interestingly, as was the case the previous day, the Indians did not notch their arrows – doing so might have been enough to cause the crew to begin shooting. The confusion was soon resolved. Clark wrote “All prepared on board for any thing which might happen, we kept a Strong guard all night in the boat. No sleep.”

When the crew attempted to leave the next morning, the Indians once again created a tense showdown. They demanded some more tobacco before allowing the expedition to proceed.

Lewis lost his temper and refused.

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As they tried to cast off, a warrior grabbed the rope. Clark was not ready to repeat the previous standoffs, so he threw some tobacco to the chief while lighting the cannon’s firing taper to show he was prepared to shoot if necessary. A few more pieces of tobacco and the confrontation was over and they were once again moving upriver.

Even though they vastly outnumbered the expeditionary force, a great number of Indians would have been killed if fighting had occurred. Such a loss was too big a price to pay even if it meant they could control trade and travel on the river. Indians would not attack a well-armed and determined force. The French and Spanish traders who had preceded Lewis and Clark had been willing to pay whatever price the Indians demanded and were, thus, deemed to be weak. The Corps clearly was prepared to fight and was not afraid. The Teton Sioux knew this and were not willing to fight if their bluffs and bluster failed.

Lewis and Clark had been fortunate since the entire crew would almost certainly have been killed if fighting had broken out. Such a victory would have made the Teton Sioux even more feared and would undoubtedly have changed history, since the United States would not have been able to send trading parties up the river for years afterwards. Westward expansion would have also been slowed.

The astonishing air rifle On October 8th, the expedition reached the Arikara Nation, a tribe aligned with the Teton Sioux. Word of the encounter with the Teton Sioux reached them before Lewis and Clark arrived. Things went much better when the two sides met and Lewis gave them gifts. As usual, the keelboat cannon was fired to impress the Indians, and Lewis also fired his air rifle that “astonished them much.” But the Indians were even more amazed by one of the men in the expedition.

Captain Clark had brought his slave, York, along (see painting and sidebar, page 6).

“Those Indians wer much astonished at my servent, They never Saw a black man before, all flocked around him & examined him from top to toe, he made him Self more terrible in their view than I would have wished him to Doe… telling them that before I cought him he was wild & lived upon people, young children was verry good eating. Showed them his Strength &c. &c.”

Another court-martial took place on October 13th. John Newman

was sentenced to 75 lashes and was banished from the party. His crime?

He had “uttered repeated expressions of a highly criminal and mutinous nature.”

The Arikara chief was horrified by the whipping, since his people “never whiped even their Children, from their burth.” Newman would be allowed to stay with the crew, along with Moses Reed who had been expelled earlier for desertion, and sent back to St. Louis in the spring. To do otherwise would have meant certain death.

Slow going The men had covered 1,300 miles in the first six months, an average of only 7 miles per day. They had hoped to get much further, but had underestimated the effects of the rapidly flowing Missouri River. On October 14th, the group spent their first night in presentday North Dakota. Progress remained slow as they fought the rain, wind, and cold. Fortunately, elk and bison herds were plentiful, but several of the creeks flowing into the Missouri were brackish enough to act as a laxative on anyone drinking from them. A grizzly bear was encountered on October 20th, but efforts to kill it proved futile.

Snow began falling on October 21st, five days before they reached the first Mandan village at the mouth of the Knife River. White men were nothing new to the Mandans since French and British fur trappers had been trading with them for many years. As had been the case with many Indian encounters along the way, however, York intrigued the Mandans. The next day, Lewis visited the second Mandan village.

Besides these two villages, there were three Hidatsa villages near the Knife River. With a total population of about 4,500 in the area, this was where the Corps wanted to spend the winter.

Without the help of the Indians, it is doubtful the Expedition could have survived the winter facing them.

A council was held with members of the Mandan, Hidatsa, and Arikara tribes on “a fair fine morning after Brackfast.” As usual, members of the Corps wore their dress uniforms, firing their guns and performing drills to impress the Indians. They also demonstrated wonders such as magnets and Lewis’ air gun. The captains gave their standard speech about how the land was now ruled by the United States government, and that the Great Father (Thomas Jefferson) wanted peace among all Indian nations.

Furthermore, Jefferson wanted the Indians to quit trading with Great Britain. The chiefs then received numerous gifts such as uniform coats, cont page 10

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Columbia River Reader / January 10 – February 14, 2016 9

Lewis & Clark

Astronomy Is Looking Up cont from page 8

cocked hats, medals, flags, etc. After the speeches, a Mandan boy set fire to the prairie which spread so fast that a man and woman were caught and burnt to death, while three others were severely burned.

With one exception, all the French boatmen hired to help get the boats up the Missouri River were discharged on November 3rd (one was enlisted as a private to replace John Newman who’d been expelled three weeks earlier). Most of the Frenchmen headed downriver, but a few decided to stay and go back with the return party in spring.

O n N o v e m b e r 4 t h , To u s s a i n t Charbonneau was hired as an interpreter with the understanding he would bring one of his two wives. While he had no particular skills, he had lived with the Hidatsas for five years and both of his wives were Shoshone (Snake) Indians. The captains now realized there was no water route to the Pacific; they would need to obtain horses from the Shoshone Indians to cross the Rocky Mountains in 1805, so having someone who could translate would be invaluable.

The Corps decided to build winter quarters downstream from the first Mandan village, since other potential sites lacked an adequate supply of wood.

They built a triangular log stockade, with cabins along two walls, named Fort Mandan. Winter arrived in full force by mid-November when ice began to form on the Missouri, just two weeks after the Corps decided to stop. Temperatures as low as 45 degrees below zero slowed construction, and the fort wasn’t completed until Christmas.

••• Next month we will learn more about the Mandan-Hidatsa villages. They were a major trade center and, during the winter months, Lewis and Clark would learn a lot about what to expect west of there as they talked to visitors.

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F

irst of all, there is now an early morning comet named Catalina visible (with binoculars) in the eastern sky, near the star Arcturus at the beginning of January. Its brightness is rated a 4.5 which is near the limit of naked eye visibility. It rises about 1:00am, but is visible ‘til sunrise. It is one of the brightest stars in the eastern sky. On Saturday the 9th we have a new moon, so there will be no interference from moonlight to overshadow the view of the comet. On the 9th it will be between Arcturus and the end star of the Big Dipper’s handle. By the 15th it will be right next to the last star in the Dipper’s handle. On January 17th the comet will be at its closest approach to earth. No fear, it will still be more than 65 million miles away. It is fading as it travels away from the sun and we will absolutely need binoculars or a telescope to see it by then.

The second most recognizable constellation after the asterism of the Big Dipper, Orion is in full dominance of the southern night sky. The tiny cup-shaped Pleiades is leading the mighty hunter through the dark cold winter sky. In Longview’s light polluted skies, the Pleiades are a smudge of light, but outside of town the cup shape is very evident.

Talking about light pollution; have you noticed the new very bright LED street lights the City of Longview has recently installed? It appears the City has not done its due diligence on researching these new lights. A number of cities across the nation have gone to the new LED lights for economical reasons, as I am sure

Longview has. But a number of thess cities have regretted using the high intensity “blue-white” colored LED lights as they have proven to be more light polluting than the old “orange” sodium lights they replaced.

These new lights produce brighter light with more glare and darker shadows. They look like the lights in a prison yard. The warm colors of the orange lights have been replaced with the colder blue light. Thus the towns come across as harsher and unwelcoming. LED lights are available that produce the warm orange light and are cost-saving, as well. Some of the cities that had the blue LED lights have since replaced them with cont page 11

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For info about programs or viewing events, call Chuck Ring, 360-636-2294.

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10 /January 10 – February 14, 2016 / Columbia River Reader

cont from page 10

the warmer orange LED lights, thus reducing the glare that their cities produce in the night sky and the adverse affects on night active wildlife. Longview needs to update its nighttime lighting ordinances to the 21st century.

If anyone wants to learn more about the adverse effects of light pollution beyond not seeing the night sky, check out “The International Dark Sky Association” at www. darksky.org and read up on the information on light pollution, energy conservation and personal safety, plus other topics.

This month’s astronomy lesson What is the difference between an asterism and a constellation?

The Big Dipper, for example, is only a portion of the larger sky design known as the Big Bear, Ursa Major.

The Big Dipper is the body and tail of the bear. (Why a bear has a long tail, I don’t know.) Ursa Major also includes a head and four feet and covers a very large section of the sky. So an asterism is a recognizable figure within a larger known figure (constellation) in the sky.

The Pleiades is an asterism, a part of the constellation Taurus the Bull. The Pleiades has been known since antiquity and is referenced in the Old Testament (Job 38:31: Canst thou bind the cluster of the Pleiades, Or loose the bands of Orion? ~American Standard Version). It is even part of design found on a Bronze-age bowl. What part of the constellation? Who knows, maybe the bug that torments the Bull?

Anybody’s explanation is a good as an unknown professional one.

Besides, it could make a great tale to tell on a cold winter night. Make up your own and have fun with it.

•••

Biz Buzz What’s Happening Around the River

Biz Buzz notes news in local business and professional circles. As space allows, we will include news of innovations, improvements, new ventures and significant employee milestones of interest to readers.

Please email publisher@crreader.com to share the local buzz.

US Bank Foundation recently presented a $2,500 check to the Longview Outdoor Gallery towards the purchase of one of the current sculptures on loan by regional artists on Commerce Avenue. LOG is a nonprofit organization in its sixth year.

Dependent entirely on donations, it is committed to the revitalization of Longview’s historic downtown.

“US Bank Foundation has been a key champion of the program since its inception in 2010,” said LOG spokesperson Laurel Murphy.

The City of Longview recently hired Joseph (“Joe”) Phillips for the position of Economic Development Coordinator to boost current economic development efforts and support a positive job-creation climate to improve and ensure the economic health and vitality of Longview.

“We look forward to Joe joining our community’s economic development efforts,” said Community Development Director John Brickey in a press release. Phillips brings 13 years of economic development experience, most recently serving as Aerospace Economic Development Specialist with Pierce County Department of Economic Development in Tacoma.

Previously, he worked for 12 years in land use planning and GIS-related positions in western Washington and Oregon. “I am very excited about the opportunity to work for the citizens of Longview,” said Phillips. Phillips will market Longview’s commercial and industrial assets, with a strong emphasis on the undeveloped, shovel-

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ready Mint Farm Industrial Park properties. He will also serve as liaison with the business community and a resource for new and expanding businesses, helping navigate the regulatory process.

On a trip to Longview’s Sister City, Wako, Japan, Chris Bailey (LCC President), Dave Campbell (Longview City Manager), Eileen Bergeson (Longview Sister City Commission), and Margit Brumbaugh (LCC Interational Student Program Director) renewed friendships with Wako citizens who visited Longview one year ago. They also visited the classroom of Longview native Alyssa Wittrock, an English teacher in Wako, promoted the community at Atomi University and Wako International High School, facilitated an exchange of books between Longview a n d Wa k o C i t y Libraries, continued the connection between Longview and Wako Rotary Clubs, visited the World Headquarters of Honda Corporation, and enjoyed staying with host families and learning about Japanese culture. See photo, page 19.

Scappoose is evolving, said Nick Sund, program analyst with the City’s Community Development Center. The community is growing steadily, the economy shifting, and the environment changing. “We are at an exciting moment,” Sund said, “but how can we make sure Scappoose will continue to be a great community for all? We must plan for the future, and your voice is vital for success.”

Join friends and neighbors, and community leaders at Scappoose Middle School on Saturday, Jan. 23, 9am to 12 noon.

Doors open at 8:30am. Free coffee and refreshments. For more info, contact Nick Sund, 503-543-7184 or nsund@ cityofscappoose.org

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Columbia River Reader / January 10 – February 14, 2016 11

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German Exchange Student

Thank you,Goodbye, Auf Wiedersehen Reflections on five months

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confident. I found being polite and friendly to everyone made it easier.

Being diplomatic is a very important skill, as important as speaking two languages. This is why I recommend exchange programs to others. The experience will help you in your future career, give you the opportunity to make friends and build peace on Earth by understanding different cultures.

Whether you are in the “new” place or back at home you do miss a lot of things — like friends and family, activity groups, landscapes, favorite foods, shopping, school classes and perhaps even your girlfriend, like I will — Ariel.

There are a lot of differences between other countries, regions and cultures.

America compared to Germany is so HUGE. Plus a big country needs to feed its citizens, so there are many restaurants! One thing I appreciate is that you have freedom of speech, although I must say Donald Trump has not been exercising this responsibly.

Daniel Kellner, 17, is from Stutttgart, Germany. His grandfather, Gottfried Eichler, was Longview’s first foreign exchange student, graduating with the R.A. Long High School Class of 1954. He was hosted by Em and Jane Piper, whose family included young Ned Piper.

In my opinion, the best thing in American society is only what you’re doing is important, not how you got there. You don’t have to have a degree to work on something, you can just do it.

I appreciate the everlasting memories I have made here. Thank you, goodbye, Auf Wiedersehen.

•••

Editor’s note: It has been the Piper Family’s pleasure to host Daniel since late August and we will be sad to say goodbye on Jan. 31. He has attended R.A.Long High School through the ISE program. For info on hosting a foreign exchange student, email NovaLee Knopp at Britestr62@ yahoo.com, phone 360-957-0152, or visit iseusa.org. A similar program, ASSE (asse.com) is represented locally by Larry Anderson, 360-577-1599.

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14 /January 10 – February 14, 2016 / Columbia River Reader

OUT • AND • ABOUT

Fort Clatsop offers free program on early Oregon settlements

F

Astoria. Each book features more than 200 vintage images, capturing oftforgotten bygone times and bringing to life the people, places, and events that defined a community.

county seat for Clatsop County until 1879, when it moved to Astoria. This illustrated talk shares some history of each of these towns as they grew and became the present city of Warrenton.

o r t C l a t s o p ’s “ I n T h e i r Footsteps” free speaker series will feature Susan Glen presenting “The Towns that Became Today’s Warrenton,” on Sunday, Jan. 17 at 1pm.

Sue Glen has compiled photos and written text for five books in Arcardia Publishing’s Images of America series including Warrenton-Hammond.

Her other titles are Governors Island, Seaside: 1920-1950, Fort Stevens, and USCG Air Station and Group

Warrenton, Oregon, was incorporated in February 1899, and is a city comprised of many earlier towns and villages. These include Skipanon, Flavel, Hammond, and Fort Stevens, as well as Lexington which was the

Susan L. Glen has had relatives in the area since the 1800s. In November 1847, one relative by marriage had the original donation land claim that became the town of Hammond.

Glen came to Warrenton in 1976. A former school teacher, she loves history and is very active with the Daughters of the American Revolution (DAR) and several historical and genealogical societies. Her Warrenton-Hammond book will be available for purchase during this event and Ms. Glen will host a booksigning after her talk.

Valentine’s Day February 14 Order early!

More details, see Outings & Events, page 25.

Our flowers & gifts ~ simply the best

Photos from top: A ship docked in Flavel; Bartholomew Kindred, the owner of the land claim that became part of Hammond; Flavel Hotel.

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1052 Washington Way, Longview M-F: 8am–6pm • Sat 8am–5pm • Sun 10am–4pm To: Centralia, Olympia Mt. Rainier Yakima (north, then east) Tacoma/Seattle

Oysterville •

Ilwaco

Columbia River

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Cathlamet 4

Astoria 101

Seaside

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Warrenton •

• Kelso-Longview Chamber of Commerce Kelso Visitors Center I-5 Exit 39 105 Minor Road, Kelso • 360-577-8058

Mount St. Helens

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FREE Maps • Brochures Directions • Information

504

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VISITORS CENTERS

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• Wahkiakum Chamber 102 Main St, Cathlamet • 360-795-9996 • Appelo Archives Center 1056 SR 4 Naselle, WA. 360-484-7103.

Kelso

Clatskanie Rainier

• Pacific County Museum & Visitor Center Hwy 101, South Bend, WA 360-875-5224

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• Long Beach Peninsula Visitors Bureau 3914 Pacific Way (corner Hwy 101/Hwy 103) Long Beach, WA. 360-642-2400 • 800-451-2542

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Goldendale Maryhill Museum

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The Dalles

To: Walla Walla Kennewick, WA Lewiston, ID

Map suggests only approximate positions and relative distances. We are not cartographers.

Columbia River Reader / January 10 – February 14, 2016 15

OUT • AND • ABOUT

MT. ST. HELENS

RANGER REFLECTIONS

A Murky Legacy

By Todd Cullins

W

hen warm, wet “Pineapple Express” weather systems soak the Pacific Northwest, residents along the North Fork of the Toutle River re-discover an unrelenting legacy of the 1980 eruption: sediment. Decades later,

the amount of sediment transported in this river during winter storms is simply astonishing.

On December 3, 2010, the daily discharge rate in the North Fork of the Toutle River was 965 cubic feet per

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Today, braided river channels and murky water indicate continued heavy sediment loads, 10 times higher than pre-eruption conditions. Photo by Adam Mosbucker, USGS

second, transporting the equivalent of 172 dump truck loads of sediment through the drainage that day.

During a storm event six weeks later, on January 17, 2011, the daily discharge rate in the North Fork of the Toutle River was 4,520 cubic feet per second, transporting the equivalent of 10,477 dump truck loads of sediment through the drainage that day!

The river may only erode 20 to 30 percent of the landslide deposit that filled 14 miles of the valley floor.

Since the eruption, 13 percent of the sediment has eroded. U.S. Geological Survey scientists will continue to monitor sediment loads and the long-term effects caused by an 8-hour eruption.

••• Todd Cullings is Assistant Director of the Johnston Ridge Observatory at Mt St. Helens National Volcanic Monument.

He has been educating park visitors about Mt. St. Helens’s geologic, biologic and cultural stories since 1986.

ON OUR MOUNTAIN

OUT • AND • ABOUT

Searching for Snow and finding each other Story and photos by Amy Renfranz

T

he arguing began as we packed the car to go skiing. It was 50 degrees and pouring rain at home in Kalama. We were not exactly sure what the conditions were like at Marble Mountain Sno-Park on Mount St. Helens. The weather forecast called for a mixed bag of precipitation.

Rain or snow, I was feeling quite spontaneous and ready to accept whatever adventure came our way.

However, to my partner, Austin, the mixed weather meant extra planning, precautions, and all the right gear.

I tell him that I will go alone.

He tells me that I would die out there.

So, I silently check that my pack is stocked with the 10 essentials (see sidebar, page 18). I reexamine the weather forecast and make sure that I have the right permits. I even actively participate in a practice emergency snow-chain installation scenario orchestrated by my one and only. And we fully erase any doubt in our neighbors’ minds about our sanity.

The drive to Marble Mountain is a foggy, rainy, mostly silent one until we turn off of Highway 503 and onto Forest Road 83. We had reached a precipice: the rain was turning into wet snow and the road was covered with ice. The tires slip and my partner smiles. We had prepared for this. We know exactly what to do.

With snow-chains successfully installed, we make our way to Marble Mountain. In the parking lot, a huge snowball fight is underway between a group

It’s Sunday morning and we’re in love.

An hour and a half later, I wonder if the neighbors think that we are moving. By the look of things, we have packed every article of clothing and outdoor gear into our small SUV. I’m examining a map – drawing out our route and feeling real sorry for myself. I snap a picture of it and text it to my brother with a note saying he should hear from us when we return and instructs him to contact the authorities if he does not.

I know Austin is right.

Austin Boggs, followed by Noah, an English Pointer, and Flip, a Beagle, at Marble Mountain Sno-Park.

Amy Renfranz is Community Engagement & Event Coordinator for the Cowlitz EDC, working to enhance the community’s quality of place through tourism and recreation opportunities around Mount St. Helens. She earned a BA in English and a Master’s in park management. She lives in Kalama, Wash.

of snowmobilers and some skiers and snowshoers. It’s the first snow any of us have seen this year and we all feel like kids again.

Photo by Austin Boggs

I can’t help but think that if snowmobilers and cross-country skiers can mutually engage in such innocent play, then there is hope for the world.

Hope for peace between warring parties. Hope for understanding and respect between political parties.

Hope for my partner and me. cont page 18

Member SIPC

Columbia River Reader / January 10 – February 14, 2016 17

OUT • AND • ABOUT

Looking for Snow

We look forward to handling your next real estate transaction.

Since 1982, Cowlitz County Title has been the trusted company the community turns to when buying, selling or refinancing a property.

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cont from page 17

We decide that the snow pack is suitable for cross county skis, and so we go for it. We stick to our pre-determined route for safety’s sake, of course, and begin the five-mile Swift Creek to June Lake Loop.

Huge snowflakes fall through the limbs of the old growth forest framing the first couple of miles of the Swift Creek Trail. We can barely see each other through the storm, but he knows that I’m up ahead and going fast down the small hills. I know that he is a stronger skier than I but that he chooses to trail behind.

I know he will be there to pick me up when I fall.

Leah Stanley

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.

IF YOU GO

The 10 Essentials for Winter Outings 1. Map and Compass – and know how to use them.

2. Sun Protection 3. Extra Clothing 4. Flashlight 5. First-Aid Supplies 6. Fire Starter 7. Repair Kit and Tools

MARBLE MOUNTAIN SNO-PARK One of two Sno-parks on Mount St. Helens’ southern side. Most of the trails are family-friendly and relatively free of avalanche terrain.

Know Before You Go Green Mountain Trail Map 332S (Mount St. Helens) and/or Day Hiking Mount St. Helens by Craig Romano and Aaron Theisen.

Restrooms Privy in parking lot.

Required Pass Washington State SNO9. Extra Water Park Pass can be purchased 10. Emergency Shelter Supplies – ($20 Day, $40 Seasonal) online before you go (also space blanket or tarp available for $2 additional at The Pro Shop in Longview and Lewis River Country Store, Woodland).

8. Extra Food

AN EXPLOSION OF ENTERTAINMENT! CELTIC NIGHTS: Spirit of Freedom • Wed. Jan. 13th 7:30 pm ($15-$35) DREW BARTH (Third Fridays) • Fri. Jan. 15th 7:00 pm ($15) MIDNIGHT (Classic Film) • Tues. Jan. 19th 7:00 pm ($10) FLASHDANCE: The Musical • Sat. Jan. 23rd 7:30 pm ($15-$40) DRAG CABARET (Third Fridays) • Fri. Feb. 19th 7:00 pm ($15) FIBRE FEDERAL CREDIT UNION RAINY MONTHS SERIES For three to nine year olds and their families MALLORY LEWIS: A Lamb Chop Celebration • Sun. Jan. 31st 2:00 pm ($5/6 FOR $25) Join us for the “SOUP OFF” Saturday, January 30th Call for details to this FUN Fundraiser!

For Tickets and Show Information: 360.575.8499 • 888.575.8499 • www.columbiatheatre.com 18 /January 10 – February 14, 2016 / Columbia River Reader

Columbia River Reader Ad For Jan. 2016 • 7.5” x 4”

Getting There From Woodland, follow 503 east for 29 miles to Cougar. Stop to get breakfast or lunch. Continue east on 503 (becomes Forest Road 90) for 7 miles, turning left onto FR 83. Follow 83 for 6 miles to the large Marble Mountain Sno-Park (elevation 2,650 feet).

Activities Cross-country skiing, snowshoeing, snowmobiling, mountaineering (climbing permit required above 4,800 feet).

Where do you read

THE READER?

Goodwill tour Chris Bailey (LCC President), Dave Campbell (Longview City Manager), Eileen Bergeson (Longview Sister City Commission), and Margit Brumbaugh (LCC International Student Program Director) read the Reader on the steps of the Kita-in Temple in Kawagoe, Japan. See details in Biz Buzz column, page 11.

Longview travelers

Longview travelers group on a European river cruise in September, while in port in Vienna. Front row kneeling: Pauline Kirchner, Cindy McGhee, Julie Kendall. Standing: Jack Thomas, Jeanne O’Connor, Linda Thomas, Steve McGhee, Peggy Renaud, Bob Kirchner, Nancy Brown, Tom Renaud, Ray Betts, Vivian Olson, Roger Olson, Janet Perez, Alex Perez, Terry Tack, Ruth Ann Tack.

In the cycle of life Longview resident Rick Jaspers shows up early at Levi’s Gran Fondo, to catch up on his CRR reading. The 102-mile bicycle ride starts in Santa Rosa, California and showcases vineyardladen hillsides of the Sonoma Valley, winds through lush redwood forests, rewards grueling climbs (nearly 9,000 feet of elevation gain) with breathtaking panoramic views, and finally descends along coastal highways where cyclists are greeted by gale force winds before heading up the inland hills and back to Santa Rosa. This mass-start century ride (6,000+ participants this year) is hosted by Levi Leipheimer, a retired cyclist with numerous accolades within the cycling world. Entrants in this year’s chip-timed charity event included cycling celebrities Jan Ullrich, Andrew Talansky and Kate Courtney.

WHERE DO YOU READ THE READER?

Mother of the groom Sharon Andrews, of

Kelso, Wash., visiting Hornitos, California, for her son’s wedding.

Where does the rain in Spain fall?? Chris Torres, of Newport, Oregon, and Rainier resident Mary Mitchell with their tour guide, Pablo, at the Spanish Pavillion in Seville, Spain.

Send your photo reading the Reader (high-resolution JPEG) to Publisher@CRReader.com. If sending a cell phone photo, choose the largest file size up to 2 MB. Include name and city of residence. Thank you for your participation and patience. Keep those photos coming!

Columbia River Reader / January 10 – February 14, 2016 19

COOKING WITH THE FARMER’S DAUGHTER

and he never went into the painful details of that disaster, but it seems the hogs got a taste of blood and rampaged through the whole flock.

Call the dogs, whistle for the horses

Mayhem is waiting All is not perfect on the farm. A prize heifer can overturn the water bucket or fracture its shoulder, a beloved dog can die chasing cars. A horse can buck you off. My horse bit the hired man, then went after my 4-H leader.

Sniffing out treats Story by Suzanne Martinson • Photos by Perry Piper

W

hen I remember the fertile, flat land in Michigan where I grew up, so many smells awaken my senses.

This is where I once dipped a metal, two-pound Maxwell House coffee can — our measuring cup — into the grain bin. Out wafted the pungent odor of oats fresh from the field. This was just dessert for the deserving — my Palomino mare, Lady. She never looked up until she had cleaned her wooden grain box, gathering every last oat with her tongue.

At the opposite end of our big red barn, two shifts of eight Guernsey cows waited outside the milking parlor, lured by their twice-a-day scoop of grain. We called it simply “ground feed,” an earthy combination of corn and oats grown on the farm.

Ground feed smelled almost as good as fresh-baked bread, but the best mouthwatering smell of all filled the milking parlor on the days that Dad cooked navy beans for our fawn-and-white cows. I wanted those beans. I begged for a bowl.

Dad, plopping a pile of beans in front of each cow’s stanchion, shook his head.

“These beans might smell good, Lefty, but they don’t taste like your mother’s.

Hers are delicious because she adds brown sugar (a whole box per batch), salt (a handful), and side pork (at least a pound).”

And that was the closest Dad ever got to giving me a recipe.

Changes, always Technological change may come to farming, but one thing does not change: the animals are fed first, before the family sits down to eat.

The dairy cows and our four horses shared the same main dish — alfalfa hay and clover. When I was growing up, the hay arrived in the mow (rhymes with bow, as in bow-wow) in round bales. By the time I left for college, bales were square and when we cut the orange binder twine that held a

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bale together, the hay fell into separate square leaves.

When I graduated, the farm was back to round bales, but these were so large they were wrestled out of the hayfield with a forklift propelled by a John Deere tractor.

For the uninitiated, the side pork in Mom’s baked beans was similar to bacon, but not smoked. Bacon, today’s trendy chefs proclaim, makes everything better. In fact, bacon is a big lure in the recipe for Homemade Peanut Butter and Bacon Dog Treats.

My Australian Shepherd will sit, lie down, shake hands and bark for bacon. Always.

Although pork was my father’s favorite meat, he never raised hogs on our farm, after an unfortunate incident when he was a teenager. Like a savvy stockbroker, his grandfather urged him to diversify.

So Dad invested in some lambs, who were turned out with the hogs (they’re hogs, my ag college boyfriend insisted; only city people call them pigs). Early one morning, Dad went out to feed his sweet little sheep, and found the hogs had killed them all. Our father was always a softy when it came to animals,

And the first thing any sweetsmelling animal does when it leaves the wash rack at the county fair is look for a pile of manure to lie down in. Cowpies, we called them. Step lively among the horse biscuits, too.

Farm children are not immune to optimism. So if the navy beans drowned in the field, we held onto the hope of a better sugar beet crop.

Hard work doesn’t hurt. My dad delighted in standing at the bottom of the stairs and calling, “Lefty, get out of that lazy bed, the hired man’s kids have been out in the field for an hour,” then sweetly, “I’ve got your hoe sharpened.”

I’ve never forgotten how sunburned and sticky I got hoeing, but when I showed my parents my blisters at dinner, they took a look at the bloody mess and said, “Wear gloves.” There was still a half-day left to hoe.

Still, we had the best vacations ever.

Forget Disneyland; we got to take our animals to the county fair. After the horses and cows were fed and the last

Photos: Peppermint Horse Muffins; Peanut and Bacon Dog Treats. Recipes next page.

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technique • theory • performance 20 /January 10 – February 14, 2016 / Columbia River Reader

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Cooking for your Dog or Horse

cont from page20

Creating these treats would be a fun project with children

By Suzanne Martinson

wheelbarrow was driven to the manure pile, it was time for playful teasing.

Holsteins give more milk, Guernsey milk has more cream.

“Your cow hardly gives a lick of milk,” a boy with a Holstein cow would say.

A Guernsey girl like me would counter: “Holstein milk is so thin that we use it to wash out our milking machines,” With trash talk like that, a water fight was sure to spring up. It wasn’t until I grew up, married, and had a teenage girl of my own that I realized adolescent foreplay didn’t get much better than that. Of course, the danger was that the teens might end up in the haymow.

The idea of an assignation in the mow, a soft spot in the straw, appealed to my high school sweetheart, though we climbed the ladder into the mow only once. On the farm, where’s there work to be done everywhere, there’s no place to hide. When Dad walked by that afternoon, he noticed the lights were left on.

He stepped onto the barn floor, one story below the haymow, and called, “Is anybody here? Lefty?”

No answer, not even a giggle. Dad switched off the lights, pulled the barn’s sliding doors closed, and walked away.

A couple of kisses, a dark, scary climb down the ladder, and the proverbial roll in the hay was not to be. I can still smell that alfalfa.

••• Suzanne Martinson grew up on a family farm, the eldest of three siblings. Her brother Jon and sister Roxann keep her abreast of happenings there, now home to the fifth generation of Garners on Garner Road near Vassar, Mich. A retired food editor, she is the author of The Fallingwater Cookbook: Elsie Henderson’s Recipes and Memories and has been a frequent CRR contributor since 2008.

E

ven a toddler could help mix the Peppermint Horse Muffins — they are all hands-on. With the little ones, there will be flour flying, but a preteen handy with a hammer might chop the peppermint candies. Here’s how: Lay the candy on a cutting board, hold the chisel upright in the center of the peppermint, and with a hammer lightly tap the top of the chisel. The candy should break in two. Horses love peppermint.

Each muffin gets a peppermint half, and pressing them into each muffin is great fun. The muffins pop right out of the

muffin tins. Some supermarkets consider red and white peppermints a holiday specialty only; mine came from Target.

The peanut butter and bacon dog treats were a big hit. Next time I would cut the bacon into much smaller pieces, as the large chunks tended to stick out of the bone-shaped treat. Of course, what puppy could ignore that?

The recipe suggests refrigerating or freezing the dog treats. The horse “muffins”are more shelf-stable. So call the dog, whistle to the horse, and treat yourself to some fun on a dark winter day.

Homemade Peanut Butter & Bacon Dog Treats 1 cup natural creamy peanut butter Arrange on baking sheets. Bake for 18 ¾ cup nonfat milk to 20 minutes, or until lightly browned 1 large egg or ¼ cup unsweetened on the bottom. Remove from the oven applesauce and flip the treats to bake the other side 2 cups whole wheat flour for 10 to 12 minutes more. Allow to 1 tablespoon baking powder cool completely before serving to your 1/3 cup oats, whole-rolled or quick oats pup. Store at room temperature or in the 2 to 3 strips bacon, chopped refrigerator for up to one week. Treats freeze well, up to two months. Yield Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Line two depends on size of the cookie cutter. large baking sheets with parchment paper (My 2-inch cutters made more than or silicone baking mats. Set aside.

60.) Preparation time: 10 minutes (plus In a large bowl, gently mix the peanut baking). butter, milk and egg together with a large spoon or spatula. (I used a handheld mixer.) Switch to a whisk to make sure no lumps remain. Add the flour and baking powder. You may need to turn the dough out onto the counter and use your hands to work in the flour.

Mix in the oats and chopped bacon.

(I used two pieces of thick-sliced bacon; finely chopped is best.) The dough is extremely thick and heavy.

Using a rolling pin, roll the dough into ¼-inch thickness. Cut into shapes, using a cookie cutter or knife (I used a bone-shaped cutter plus, for whimsy’s sake, a cat,).

Peppermint Horse Muffins 1 small/mini muffin tin (mine makes 24) 3 cups flour 3 cups uncooked oats (oatmeal) 1 cup brown sugar 1 ½ cups water, add more as needed ¾ cup molasses 1 bag round peppermints Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Mix all together as well as you can, not leaving any loose material in mixing bowl. Add water or molasses as needed. You can make them darker if you want, your choice. Scoop them into yo u r m i n i muffin tin and bake for about 15 to 20 minutes, until they are not mooshy to the touch. While they are baking, take your peppermints and a hammer and break in half softly. (I had better luck breaking the candy in two by lightly pounding a chisel with a hammer.) As soon as you pull the muffins out of the oven, quickly place the peppermint halves onto the muffins, so when they cool, they cool with the peppermint, making the peppermint stick solidly inside so it doesn’t fall off.

Tester’s note: I experimented with silicon, nonstick and greased aluminum mini muffin pans. Differences were negligible. Each pan made 12 mini muffins; the recipe made 48 horse treats.

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Columbia River Reader / January 10 – February 14, 2016 21

‘Find a way.’

~ John Howerton

Journey to a healthier lifestyle spawns world-class ultra endurance athlete

By Joan Tolby, mother of John Howerton

T

he New Year is here. Are you ready to get the most out of life and practice a healthier lifestyle?

Here is a story to inspire you.

Six years ago at the age of 29, John Howerton was at a crossroads. No job, a faltered relationship, and a couple of deaths in the family had led to depression. Suffering from chronic sinusitis, allergies, arthritis in several joints, past physical injuries, awful eating habits, a daily cocktail of medications, and a rather sedentary lifestyle due to chronic fatigue, it was time for change. And that change was nutrition. John made a pact with himself to regain his health. Focusing on eating whole foods, he set an overly-ambitious goal to compete in a Seattle area half-Ironman triathlon, a sport he knew nothing about. A few months later with a little improvement in fitness, John heard online of a race called “Ultraman.” Having no idea of the existence of a race longer than the infamous “IRONMAN” in Hawaii, John decided that his original goal must be re-assessed, and that he must reach to achieve the impossible.

2010 marked improvements in John’s health. No longer on any medications, he started to feel the impossible might be attainable. It was not a matter of if it was possible to compete in the most difficult endurance feat, it was going to be a matter of when.

In 2011 John took a leap of faith.

He resigned from a secure job at Sutinen Consulting in Longview and sold all his possessions, except a bike he had recently purchased.

Packing a few clothes into a small Camelbak backpack, he moved to Hawaii, the home of Ultraman. He had been weighing his options to make the major life change a reality.

Worldwide Workers on Organic Farms (WWOOF) was the vehicle that allowed John, with little money and a strong resolve for change, to pursue his dream. WWOOF hosts offer food, accommodations, and the opportunity to travel abroad in exchange for physical labor. John moved to Kona, Hawaii, to work full

John Howerton in action. Courtesy photos.

a lifetime came. John was asked to be one of two crew members for the 6-time Ultraman World Champion during the 2012 race. An inspiring yet humble role model, Alexandre Ribeiro of Brazil, planted the seed deep within John that his dream was attainable, if he was willing to put in the work and the time.

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams!

Live the life you’ve imagined.” ~ Henry David Thoreau time as a volunteer at a coffee farm and B&B, armed with a dream to pursue a healthy lifestyle through athletics, with a goal of conquering the race of all races, Ultraman, a 321-mile triathlon circumventing the island of Hawaii.

Up to this point, John did not swim and could not run more than a mile without pain. Not concerned with potential obstructive details, John figured he’d learn to swim when he got to Hawaii and continue to do what he could to get in shape.

Change is never easy, it takes the willingness to fail and pick oneself back up. Two steps forward, one step backward, but always putting one foot in front of the other moving forward.

John continued to change his diet, basing his calories around plants and replacing other foods with as many fresh fruits and vegetables as he could.

He no longer shopped in the middle of the supermarket, but chose to reach for the foods that would provide the

22 /January 10 – February 14, 2016 / Columbia River Reader

Crewing for Alexandre in 2013, the dream crystallized for John and he began the process of qualifying races.

In 2013 he entered his first triathlon, a Half Ironman distance triathlon where he finished 8th overall. Next was the 70.3-mile Hono Ironman: a 1.2-mile swim, 56-mile bike, and 13.1-mile run.

highest nutrition for performance and a healthier body and mind. Health did not happen overnight, but one day at a time. As he began to feel better, his physiological and psychological health improved.

In years past, in John’s hometown of Kelso Washington, his main source of exercise was motocross riding, largely fueled by adrenaline, not fitness. His main activity after moving to Hawaii became road cycling, not only as his main exercise, but also his mode of transportation. Practice and training became a way of life. Commuting on the bike removed any need for “motivation” and replaced it with “action.” Success comes from action!

In 2012, a little over a year after his move to Hawaii, the opportunity of

Competing against 1,936 athletes on a borrowed bike, John placed 22 nd in his division and inside the top 10 percent, 146th overall. This moment would propel him to reach harder for his dream of becoming a world-class athlete.

Thirteen more races quickly followed.

He stepped up his training and entered the 2014 Iron Mango, a full IRONMAN distance race of 140.6 miles: 2.4-mile swim, 112-mile bicycle ride, and a 26.2-mile run. He placed second.

Five years had now passed. John now had the volunteer experience and qualifying races to apply for the Ultraman waiting list. This is an invitation-only race, where each athlete is pre-screened. Only 40 athletes from around the world are cont page 23

Athlete

cont from page 22

invited. John applied in April and was selected in September as one of the 40 athletes to compete in the November Championship event. Unfortunately, 2014 was full of obstacles, including being hit by a car after the Iron Mango race, which slowed down training.

With less than 12 weeks before Ultraman, John pushed to get back in shape. As the least experienced, and one of the youngest, John placed 21st, or middle of the pack, in the 2014 event.

Fast forward to 2015……. with a championship finish under his belt, John was again accepted to compete in the Ultraman World Championships.

The endurance feat is matched by few others. The ultra-endurance race covers 321 miles: a point to point ocean swim of 6.2 miles, and a bike of 271.4 miles (with an elevation gain of 17,000 feet). After two grueling days of swimming and cycling, the athletes then round out a third day with a double marathon run of 52.4 miles.

In November 2015, 10 countries were represented, with 11 Americans; 37 of 40 athletes started, 31 finished. John placed 4th amongst the Americans and 17th overall, with an improvement of one hour 23 minutes over last year.

His swim improved by 26 minutes.

Cycling challenged the athletes with heavy winds and rain. At the top

Joan Tolby is an occasional CRR contributor and accomplished writer, obviously and justifiably proud of her son’s accomplishments.

CRR congratulates them both.

of the mountains, the sustained 45-mph winds pinned one athlete against a guard rail. Conditions along the course caused two other athletes to crash, with one being lifeflighted from the island. Beginning temperatures started at 75, reaching well into the 90s, with surface temperatures hovering around 110120 by the run’s mid-point. John improved his double marathon time by an impressive one hour and 46 minutes, resulting in him being the top athlete runner from Hawaii, proudly carrying the Hawaiian flag over the finish line.

Ultraman pushes the human body and will to the limits. John has already begun preparing for 2016, placing first in a 18-mile mountain run, less than three weeks after Ultraman.

A small town boy with the will to succeed conquered and achieved his dream. While a goal of becoming a world-class ultra endurance athlete may not be the dream for everyone, John is an example that changing one’s lifestyle can achieve a healthier, fulfilling life. Every goal begins with a first step (action), the willingness to fail, and the belief that with persistence, hard work, and some sacrifice, you can succeed.

In the words of John Howerton: “Find a way!”

••• John Howerton now mentors people from all around the world. For more information or to contact him, visit http://JohnHowerton.info or one of his social media accounts links from his website.

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Cascadia Earthquake

The Big One is Due

Are you ready? Recent landslides and flooding should be wakeup

By Kate Packard call to prepare

A

s I watch the gentle snow coming down outside my window, I am thinking of disaster. Snow is fairly rare in our neck of the woods, rare enough that most of us count it as a welcome novelty, a break from the drizzle and the downpour. We live in an area that is remarkably free of weather disaster, unlike our Southern brothers who must batten down the hatches to prepare for hurricane season, or our northern and eastern cousins who shovel mountains of snow each winter and must carefully negotiate their use of the roadways. Except for the rare volcano or landslide or flood, we live fairly free of weather worries or calamity concerns.

At least we did. Recently we discovered that we are sitting on a time bomb virtually certain to go off sometime in the next 50-100 years. Folks, we are due for the BIG ONE. It’s called the Cascadia subduction zone, and it is no small matter.

We sit astride two continental plates pushing against one another. One, the oceanic plate, is sliding under (subducting) the continental plate.

As they move, the oceanic one gets hung up. But eventually, when the pressure builds to the breaking point, it will grind under the continental plate, and like a giant spring, it will release all that energy in a massive earthquake. Very much like Japan’s in 2011 and unlike anything we’ve experienced since 1700.

Just folklore?

Since that is before written history, all we have to remind us of the event are Indian stories passed down by the survivors. We didn’t pay any attention to those stories until Kate Packard worked in the timber industry prior to her retirement. She enjoys reading, gardening and healthful cooking.

She moved from the Oregon coast to care for her mother, Dorothy Packard, in Longview and sings in the LCC Community Choir.

someone noticed that they (surprise, surprise!) correlated precisely with current geologic evidence that has only recently been uncovered.

Thankfully, we are some distance from the coast, which some experts are calling “toast” when Cascadia comes, primarily because of the massive tsunami that will be unleashed.

But they are also predicting huge migrations of survivors moving inland.

We will be picking up the pieces ourselves; are we ready to welcome our neighbors? Most of Longview rests on fill — remember, Longview was a swamp when R.A.Long dreamed of his planned city —and any building in the lower elevations will be subject to “liquefaction,” where the soil basically turns into a liquid. A few buildings, such as St. John’s hospital, have been retrofitted to prepare, but nearly all of our emergency services are housed in buildings not likely to survive intact.

Are you ready?

Our recent experience with flooding and landslides should be a wakeup call for all of us. Do you have a gallon of water per person (and pet) per day for two to three weeks? Do you have a two-week supply of food that doesn’t require water or cooking? Do you have flashlights and batteries? Blankets and/ or sleeping bags? A tent? Do you have a first aid kit? Do you have an outdoor barbecue or camp stove with propane or charcoal for cooking? Do you have cash on hand in the event ATMs are not working? Are you familiar with your neighbors? Do you have a family plan for contact? Do you have a cell phone charger for your car for when the power is out?

If you are thinking you will just call emergency services if you have no food or water, think again. They are going to have far more important things to deal with than your discomforts.

If you are thinking, “Well, I’ll just make a trip to Target and pick up the things I need,” think again. In these days of JIT (“Just In Time” inventory management system), stores stock very little beyond what is on the shelf, and if 20,000 people are suddenly looking for a generator, probably 19,900 of cont page 25

Columbia River Reader / January 10 – February 14, 2016 23

Outings & Events

Performing & Fine Arts Music, Art, Theatre, Literary

“I think I’ll drop everything and write poetry for HaikuFest 2016!”

Deadline: Feb. 25.

See details, page 6.

FIRST THURSDAY • Feb. 4 Downtown Longview

“Me, too.”

Happy New Year! Somebody, please write a haiku about cats ... or even better, about — ME! ~ Smokey

Man in the Kitchen’s cat.

Submission Guidelines Letters to the Editor (up to 200 words) are welcome. Longer pieces, or excerpts thereof, in response to previously-published articles, may be printed at the discretion of the publisher and subject to editing and space limitations. Items sent to CRR may be considered for publication unless the writer specifies otherwise. We do not publish letters endorsing candidates or promoting only one side of controversial issues. Name and phone number of writer must be included; anonymous submissions will not be considered.

Political Endorsements As a monthly publication serving readers in three counties, two states and beyond, we cannot print endorsements or criticism of political candidates as Letters to the Editor.

Unsolicited submissions may be considered, provided they are consistent with the publication’s purpose—to help readers “discover and enjoy the good life in the Columbia River region, at home and on the road.” Advance contact with the editor is recommended. Information of general interest submitted by readers may be used as background or incorporated in future articles.

Outings & Events calendar (free listing): Events must be open to the public. Non-profit organizations and the arts, entertainment, educational and recreational opportunities and community cultural events will receive listing priority. See submission details, this page. Businesses and organizations wishing to promote their particular products or services are invited to purchase advertising.

Broadway Gallery Reception, 5:30-7:30pm.

Appetizers, wine. Acoustic guitar.

1418 Commerce Ave. www.the-broadway-gallery.com Teague’s Gallery 1267 Commerce Ave. 360-636-0712 5:30–7:30pm.

Columbia River Reader 1333 14th Ave. 360-749-1021 5:30 – 7pm Hot mulled cider Player piano music, viewing of local historic postcards, from Michael Perry’s private collection.

Across the Cowlitz River: Cowlitz County Museum 405 Allen Street, Kelso, Wash.

360-577-3119 7pm “Mail order brides and ship jumpers: Immigration on the Lower Columbia,” by local author and historian Irene Martin.

Bethany Lutheran Church

Broadway Gallery Artists co-op. Featured artists, Jan: Susan Supola (mixed media), Renee Bliss Anderson (sculpture), Ray Cooper (paintings); Feb: Beth Bailey (paintings), Terry Strehiou (paintings & pottery), Betty Jurey (egg art). Annual Studio Clearance Sale Jan 25–Feb 6. Year-round art classes for all ages. Call for info. Gallery hours: Mon-Sat 10-5:30. 1418 Commerce, Longview, Wash. 360-577-0544.

McThreads Wearable Art/Lord and McCord ArtWorks One-of-a-kind wearable art. January feature: Felted hats. Open Tues-Sat 11-4pm.

1206 Broadway, Longview, Wash. 360-261-2373 or mcthreadswearableart.com.

Teague’s Interiors & Gallery Artwork by local artists in the gallery. 10–5:30 M–F, 10–3 Sat. Call for more info: 360-636-0712. 1267 Commerce Ave, Longview, Wash.

Tsuga Gallery Fine arts and crafts by area artists.

Thurs-Sat 11–5. 70 Main Street, Cathlamet, Wash. 360-795-0725.

Columbia Theatre for the Performing Arts Various upcoming shows. See ad, page 18.

Sunday, Feb. 7, 2016 1:00 pm (Time change) Wollenberg Auditorium at LCC Rose Center for the Arts Ticket Price - Adults - $20, Students - $5 Available at the door - Tickets may be purchased online at swwasymphony.org or by calling 360-783-6165

QUILT SHOW

Friday, Feb. 12, 10-6 • Saturday, Feb. 13, 10-3

Bake/Book Sale • Quilt & Gift Basket Raffles Handcrafted & Consignment Items • Kids’ Story Times Homemade Cinnamon Rolls, Soups, Sandwiches & Pies Bring Quilts to display Thurs., Feb. 11, 10–6

FREE Admission

HOW TO PUBLICIZE YOUR EVENT IN CRR Send your non-commercial community event’s basic info (name of event, sponsor, date & time, location, brief description and contact info) to publisher@crreader.com Or mail or hand-deliver (in person or via mail slot) to: Columbia River Reader 1333-14th Ave Longview, WA 98632 Submission Deadlines Events occurring Feb. 15–Mar 20: by Jan. 25 for Feb. 15 issue.

Events occurring Mar 15–April 20: by Feb. 25 for Mar 15 issue.

Submissions are considered for inclusion, subject to lead time, general relevance to readers, and space limitations.

See details, page 38.

24 /January 10 – February 14, 2016 / Columbia River Reader

Northwest Voices Robert Michael Pyle author and poet celebrating 30th anniversary of his book Wintergreen. Jan 13. Workshop 3:30-5pm, Main 145, Lower Columbia College, 1600 Maple Street, Longview, Wash.

Reading 7pm, Longview Public Library, 1600 Louisiana Street, Longview, Wash.

The Art Gallery at LCC Erin Dengerink and Sarah Fagan exhibit through Jan 28.

Rose Center for the Arts, 1600 Maple St., Longview, Wash. Hours: Mon, Tues 10–6, Wed-Thurs 10–4. Info: lowercolumbia.edu/ gallery.

Winter Concert Southwest Washington Symphony Sun, Feb 7, 1pm (note time change) Guest Artist Scott Wright, clarinet.

See ad, below.

Winter Concert

Annual

34721 Church Rd. Warren OR 97053

An Accidental Collector Through Jan. 31.

Koth Gallery, Longview Public Library 1600 Louisiana Street, Longview, Wash. Mon-Wed 10am-8pm, Thurs-Sat 10am-5pm. 360-4415300.

Dr. Robert Davis, Conductor

Collateral Damage

by Resanovic Guest Artist Scott Wright Clarinet

Outings & Events

Recreation, Outdoors, Gardening History, Pets, Self-Help Cowlitz County Museum Ongoing exhibit: “Badges, Bandits & Booze.” Many photos on display from the early days to current times.

Open Tues-Sat 10 am–4 pm. 405 Allen St, Kelso, Wash. www.co.cowlitz.wa.us/museum.

Info: 360-577-3119.

Northwest Voices Author/poet Robert Michael Pyle celebrating 30th anniversary of his book Wintergreen. Jan 13. Workshop 3:30-5pm. Main 145. Lower Columbia College, 1600 Maple Street, Longview, Wash. Reading, 7pm, Longview Public Library, 1600 Louisiana Street, Longview, Wash.

The Towns that Became Today’s Warrenton

by Susan Glen. Jan. 17, 1pm. “In Their Footsteps” free lecture series at Netul Room, Fort Clatsop, near Astoria, Ore. Sponsored by Lewis & Clark Nat’l Park Assn and the park.

More info: 503-861-2471 or visit online: nps. gov/lewi/index.htm.. See story, page 15.

Soup-Off Sat., Jan. 30, 6–9pm. Elks Lodge Ballroom, 900 Ash St., Kelso, Wash. $50 ticket includes entertainment, appetizers, beverages and soup samplings from 10 local restaurants.

Benefits Columbia Theatre for the Performing Arts. Tickets: Box Office, 1241 Vandercook Way, Longview, Wash. or call 360-575-8499 or visit columbiatheatre.com.

An Accidental Collector Through Jan 31, Koth Gallery, Longview Public Library.

10am-8pm Mon-Wed; 10am-5pm Thurs–Sat. 1600 Louisiana Street, Longview, Wash. Info: 360-441-5300

Meet your friends and relax at this classic neighborhood watering hole!

11 Beers on Tap • Cocktails & Wine OREGON LOTTERY • Shuffleboard • Pool

Alston pub grub

25196 Alston Road • Rainier, OR Open daily at 11AM • 503-556-9753

LUIGI’S PIZZA

Kalama Garden Club meets first Wednesday of month. 11am. Meeting locations change monthly, for current meeting info contact Sherwood Pattisherwood@scattercreek.com or 360-673-2809. Visitors are welcome.

Wahkiakum County Historical Society Museum Logging, fishing and cultural displays. Open 1-4pm, Th-Sun. 65 River St, Cathlamet, Wash. For info 360-795-3954.

Appelo Archives Center Historic exhibits, Naselle-Grays River area. 1056 State Route 4, Naselle. T-Fri 10–4, Sat 10–2, or by appt.

360-484-7103. appeloarchives.org.

R Square D Dance Club Dance sessions 2nd Fri, 4th Sat. 7:30pm Plus, 8–10pm Mainstream with Rounds. $5 Admission.

Craig Abercrombie, Caller. Lonnie Sykes, Cuer. Lessons every Wed. Plus 6:30– 7:30pm. Basic 7:30–9:30pm. $4 adults, $2 ages 10–16. Kelso Senior Center, 106 NW 8th Ave, Kelso, Wash. Info: 360-414-5855 or www.r-square-d.info.

Longview Bridge Club Weekly duplicate bridge games Mon, 10:30am and Thurs 6:30pm, Kelso Senior Center, 106 NW 8th Ave., Kelso. New players welcome. For info or help finding a partner: Rich Carle, 360425-0981 or rhcarle@msn.com.

Free Class: Smart Phone & Computer Basics by Perry Piper. Tues, Jan 19, 2pm; Mon, Feb 8, 10am. Pre-registration required.

Call 360-270-0608 or email perrypiper@ hotmail.com.

Good times ROLL at the

Play VIDEO POKER

Goble Tavern LIVE MUSIC

503-556-4213

Open 11am daily

them are going to be out of luck. Not to mention the fact that just getting around may be very difficult.

Any bridge will be too far Most of our gasoline comes from Portland storage tanks which are also built on fill and which are not expected to survive an earthquake, so you may be restricted to walking or riding your bike. Many roadways will likely be blocked; Jennifer Engkraf, Cowlitz County’s emergency management coordinator, says all bridges, even if they are still standing, will be closed until they can be inspected and cleared for safety.

So what to do? Get ready. When my friend, Marion Metke, empties a bottle of laundry detergent, she fills it with water and puts it in her garage. You now have in your kit water for personal hygiene and it is in a container that will last much longer than the standard gallon jug of drinking water.

Jennifer recounts that upon first taking this job, she went out and bought enough water for her family and stored it. She put all her other emergency supplies on top. After two years, the water bottles disintegrated and the resulting pool of water ruined her supplies. Lesson learned.

Multiple online sites will coach you on disaster readiness. Plan a neighborhood potluck and begin talking to your neighbors; it’s likely you will be relying upon one another when disaster strikes.

In July 2015, Kathryn Schulz wrote a long piece for the New Yorker on our coming challenge (newyorker.com/ magazine/2015/07/20/the-really-bigone). The article (and her follow-up piece on getting prepared) should be required reading for everyone. We in the Northwest have been asleep and we are by no means ready. Japan thought they were ready and we are nowhere close to where they were when they were hit. They have a long history of earthquakes so they have been preparing for a long time.

They just didn’t think it could be as big as it was.

We now know that it is going to be BIG, bigger than any disaster that’s hit the Northwest since 1700. So we’d better get our heads out of the sand and do what we need to do.

“Read Little House on the Prairie,” suggests Jennifer, and “learn to be selfsufficient, because when it comes, you are going to have to take responsibility for your own survival.”

•••

You’ll love our home style cooking so much ... you’ll come back for JOIN US Friday & Saturday evenings for

PRIME RIB

Mon-Fri: 6am - 8pm Sat-Sun: 7am - 8pm

503-556-4090

102 “A” St E • Rainier • 503-556-8772 Missoula Children’s Theater Auditions for K-12 students:

Milepost 41 on Hwy 30

January 18 at 3:30pm at Clatskanie Mid/High School.

More than 50 local students in the play.

70255 Columbia River Hwy • Rainier, OR

Evergreen Pub & Cafe

Performances

Friday, January 22 at 7:30pm Saturday, January 23 at 3:00pm

OPEN DAILY 8AM Family Dining Homemade Soups • Salads Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner

Full Bar

115 -117 First St E • Rainier Keno • Video Poker

Sponsors: City of Clatskanie’s Scout Lake fund, PGA and Clatskanie Kiwanis.

Best Burgers in the Area

Serving Halibut and Cod Fish & Chips

503-556-9935

THE BEST BREAKFAST and BURGERS ON THE RIVER!

MICRO BREWS • WINES • SPIRITS • LOTTERY ROOM

Music & Magic • Fridays & Saturdays Cold Beer • Micro-Brews • Good Food Video Poker • Keno Scratch-Its • Pool • Darts

Sandwiches Spaghetti • Lasagna Burgers • Salads Beer, Wine & Sodas

119 First St E • Rainier

cont from page 23

Historic

Daily Specials

Luigi’sPizza Pizza • Calzone

The Big One

“JUMP! has it all - great repertoire, tight band who all looked like they love being there, humor, fascinating storytelling, awesome sound quality, and of course Diane Lines! Her voice, her piano playing and her way of owning the stage are magnificent.”

Birkenfeld Theater Clatskanie Cultural Center Saturday February 13 7:30 pm

Diane Lines

Contact Elsa 503.728.3403 for tickets.

~Claudia M, Calgary, Alberta

Columbia River Reader / January 10 – February 14, 2016 25

Clatskanie Flowers ‘n’ Fluff Coffee Shop 45 E. Columbia River Hwy Wine Tasting, Dinner & Live Music Fridays 5:30–8:30pm. Unforgettable scones, On-the-go breakfast & lunch.

Coffee Shop M-F 5:30am–6:30pm; Sat 7am–6pm; Sun 8am–6pm.

503-728-4222.

Fultano’s Pizza 770 E. Columbia River Hwy Family style with unique pizza offerings, hot grill items & more!

M-Sat 11am–10pm; Sun 11am–9pm.

503-728-2922

Ixtapa Fine Mexican Restaurant 640 E. Columbia River Hwy Fine Mexican cuisine. Daily specials.

The best margarita in town. Daily drink specials. Sports bar.

M-Th 11am–9:30pm; Fri & Sat 11am–11:30pm; Sun 11am–9pm. 503-728-3344

Rainier Alston Pub & Grub 25196 Alston Rd., Rainier 503-556-4213 11 beers on tap, cocktails.

Open daily 11am.

503-556-9753 See ad, page 25.

Conestoga Pub Cornerstone Café 102 East “A” Street Microbrews, wines & spirits Prime rib Friday & Sat. Open M-F 6am–8pm; Sat-Sun 7am–8pm.

503-556-8772. See ad, page 25.

Evergreen Pub & Café 115-117 East 1st Street Burgers, halibut, prime rib, full bar.

503-556-9935. See ad, page 25.

Goble Tavern 70255 Columbia River Hwy. (Milepost 31, Hwy. 30) Food, beer & wine + full bar, Live music. 503-556-4090.

See ad page 25.

Hometown Pizza 109 E. “A” St. Take-and-bake, Delivery, To-Go and dine-in. Lunch Buffet M-F 11–2.

Open daily 11am; close M-Th, Sat 9pm, Fri 10pm. 503-556-3700

COLUMBIA RIVER

dining guide

Luigi’s Pizza 117 East 1st Street, Rainier 503-556-4213 Pizza, spaghetti, burgers, beer & wine.

See ad, page 25.

Kelso

1210 Ocean Beach Hwy., Longview Fish & chips, burgers, more. Beer & wine. 360-577-7972

1260 Commerce Ave. Family Dining 11–9, Breakroom Bar 11am–midnight. American comfort food.

Full bar. 360-703-3904.

Grounds for Opportunity 413 S. Pacific Ave. 360-703-3020 Wed–Sun 7am–3pm Breakfast and Lunch available all day.

Longview

1329 Commerce Ave., Longview (alley entrance). Fine dining, happy hour specials. wine tastings. Tu-Sat open 5pm.

360-425-2837. See ad, page 16.

Bowers Down Th-Sat 5–8

Gyros Gyros

M-Tues 11–4, W-Sat 11–5 1338 Commerce Ave., 360-577-5658 Serving Mediterranean fare for lunch and local farm fresh food for dinner.

Reservations recommended for dinner.

The Carriage Restaurant & Lounge

Full breakfast, lunch and dinner. Daily drink special: Bloody Mary $5. $4 Breakfast Special. Homemade soup. 6am–9pm. Full bar in lounge, open 6am. 1334 12th Ave. 360-425-8545

Locally roasted espresso, fine teas, fresh pastries daily, smoothies, beer & wine, homemade soups. Breakfast and lunch. 1333 Broadway. 360-425-7700 See ad, page 16.

Country Folks Deli 1329 Commerce Ave., Longview. Open for lunch and dinner. 360-425-2837.

Hop N Grape 924 15th Ave., Longview M–Th 11am–8pm; Fri & Sat 11am–9pm; Sun 11am–7pm. BBQ meat slow-cooked on site. Pulled pork, chicken brisket, ribs, turkey, salmon. World-famous mac & cheese. 360-577-1541 See ad page 12.

26 /January 10 – February 14, 2016 / Columbia River Reader

St. Helens Bertucci’s

2017 Columbia Blvd., St. Helens Mon–Fri 9–5; Sat 10–4.

Breakfast sandwiches, deli sandwiches, espresso, chocolates. See ad, page 2.

Sunshine Pizza & Catering 2124 Columbia Blvd.

Hot pizza, cool salad bar.

Beer & wine. 503-397-3211 See ad, page 10.

Scappoose

The Original Pietrio’s Pizzeria

614 Commerce Ave., Longview. 18 varieties of pizza. Salad bar, Lunch buffet all-you-can-eat. Beer & wine. Mon-Fri open 11am, Sat-Sun 12 Noon. 360-3533512.

Porky’s Public House 561 Industrial Way, Longview Slow-roasted prime rib Fri & Sat, flat iron steaks, 1/3-lb burgers, fish & chips.

31 draft beers. Full bar.

360-636-1616. See ad, page 16.

Fultano’s Pizza 51511 SE 2nd.

Family style with unique pizza offerings, hot grill items & more!

“Best pizza around!”

M–Th, Sat 11am–10pm; Fri 11am– 11pm; Sun 11am–9pm. Full bar service ‘til 11pm Fri & Sat. Deliveries in Scappoose. 503-543-5100.

Ixtapa Fine Mexican Restaurant

Ice cream, oldfashioned milkshakes, sundaes, local coffee healthy lunches, Fun atmosphere in The Merk. 1339 Commerce. 360-4234986. See ad, page 9.

Teri’s 3225 Ocean Beach Hwy, Longview.

Breakfast, lunch and dinner. Fine dining, with specials, fresh NW cuisine. Happy Hour. Full bar. 9am–9pm, Mon–Sat 8am–9pm. Closed Sundays.

360-577-0717. See ad page 20.

33452 Havlik Rd. Fine Mexican cuisine. Daily specials. The best margarita in town. Daily drink specials. M-Th 11am–9:30pm; Fri & Sat 11am–11:30pm; Sun 11am–9pm. 503-543-3017

Woodland The Oak Tree 1020 Atlantic Ave., Woodland. Full lunch, breakfast and dinner menu.

Fresh from scratch cooking. Great happy hour menu. Sun 7am–9pm, M-Th 8am–9pm, Fri-Sat 7am–10pm.

360-841-8567

Fresh-roasted coffee, snack and pastries.

1335 14th Ave., M-F 9am–4pm, Sat-Sun 9am–4pm. 360-232-8642 New location: 931 Ocean Beach Hwy (Inside seating plus drive-thru).

M-F 6am–8pm, Sat-Sun 8am–8pm.

360-232-8642. See ad, page 9.

Castle Rock Parker’s Restaurant & Brewery 1300 Mt. St. Helens Way. Exit 49 off I-5.

Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner. Burgers, handcut steak; seafood and pasta. Restaurant opens 8am, Lounge 12 Noon. Closed Monday. 360-967-2333

To advertise in Columbia River Dining Guide call 360-749-1021

the LowerColumbia

Technology

Informer

By Perry Piper

Tech highlights of 2015 Soylent Update A few issues ago, I wrote about Soylent, the liquid meal-replacement food of the future. I’ve since purchased their two products and this is my quick overview of the experience.

Soylent was designed to be the staple food you’ll always have on hand.

But not even Soylent’s creator, Rob Rhinehart, 26, consumes the mixture for every meal because he enjoys going out on the town frequently. To him, food shouldn’t be what we eat to live, but rather what we live to eat.

Soylent provides a shippable source of affordable, quick and healthful food which I’ve come to love for breakfast or when I’d otherwise be eating junk food. Unlike typical flavored protein shakes that began to revolt me with their overly sweet flavors, Soylent has a neutral taste that never gets old.

It might taste strange at first, but it’s something you don’t notice after the second day.

Because I eat much more slowly than others, this kind of quick fix to hunger is something I’ve been craving.

Soylent is not a weight loss or special diet product, nor does it make any health claims beyond getting your required human nutrients on the 2000 calorie recommended daily level.

Soylent 1.5 powder costs $216 per month. Soylent 2.0 tastes better, but this is far more filling. One week samples are $54 and first-time buyers get a free pitcher and scooper.

Soylent 2.0 runs $348/month, smells like a bowl of cheerios and tastes like almond milk. Two day samples are $29.

It’s available online at www.soylent.me.

If you don’t have time or interest in shopping, preparing or cooking traditional food, or if you eat as slowly as I do, or rely on fast food or junk food, I’d recommend trying Soylent. Our German exchange student, Daniel, likes Soylent even better than chocolate.

SpaceX Reusable Rocket In just under 20 minutes on Dec. 21, we saw the future in the making as the Falcon 9 Rocket blasted off, deployed 11 satellites and then landed again. It was as if we were watching a computer animation rather than reality itself.

We heard the crowd there cheer ever louder with each mission milestone. Elon Musk said that pending rocket damage assessment, these reusable rockets will reduce space expenses by as much as 100 fold! The fuel for these missions is only $200,000, whereas the rocket itself is tens of millions and is usually destroyed completely. Until now. Musk’s long term goal is to lower the price of tickets to Mars to only $500,000 so that people can move to the red planet in order to colonize it. It looks like sometime this century humanity will once again embark for the new world. But rest easy knowing that’s a round trip ticket.

Drones and FAA Regulation Since about a million more Americans unwrapped drones of various types this holiday, the FAA now requires anyone with one weighing half a pound or more to register for $5. Film hobbyists will take their scenes to traditionally helicopter levels. Commercial delivery drones will soon be delivering on-demand first aid kits and packages to anywhere you are. Japan is already looking into police drone squads to catch illegal drones with nets. This new market is exploding into a multi-billion dollar industry complete with racing leagues and various autonomous possibilities.

Drones are going to expand our way of thinking about not just looking forward, but looking up.

with your hands. Currently, these digital assistants tend to lean on simple “if, else” commands. This just means the machine listens for certain phrases, responds accordingly and always falls back on, “sorry, can you repeat that?” if it gets lost. The new buzzword here is machine or deep learning.

Our computers will be able to actually hear what we are saying, no matter our speaking style or accent, and give us relevant answers by scouring the web or simply changing device settings for

us so that we’re not digging through menus or calling customer service. The near-future of all this is that screens may be vanishing in favor of Zero UI — computers without screens, keyboards or mice at all — where technology seemingly disappears and the only thing to consider is our new friend helping us with the shopping list.

•••

CRR’s graphic designer/IT manager Perry Piper is an active member of Encouraging Words Toastmasters and is learning computer programming in his spare time.

AI and Voice Recognition Keeping with Moore’s Law that computer power tends to double every 12-18 months, our Siris, Cortanas, Alexas and Google Nows jumped in capability once more. Microsoft has launched its Cortana digital assistant on every platform now, so you can experience her for yourself on iPhone or Android. Expect each of these to grow from the bumbling idiots they are now into full fledged coworker-like friends that are actually helpful instead of requiring you to constantly reference the command list cheat sheet. Most of the assistants can be activated by calling their name, usually combined with some other keyword.

Alexa on Amazon’s Echo is actually a totally hands-free, voice-activated computer. Think of it as a basic tablet without a touchscreen. Set reminders, check the news or get step-by-step cooking guides while preparing food Columbia River Reader / January 10 – February 14, 2016 27

For Snowbirds’ To-Do List

Goldwater Memorial honors

by Shirley Smith American statesman Story Photo by Ray McDermott

A f t e r t h e w a r, G o l d w a t e r w a s instrumental in establishing the Air Force Academy and served on their Board of Visitors – a visitor center in Colorado Springs, Colorado, is named in his honor. As a colonel he founded the Arizona Air National Guard and would desegregate it two years before the other military forces. He remained in the Air National Guard and retired as command pilot with the rank of Major General, having flown 165 different types of aircraft.

B

arry Goldwater: The consummate conservative. That’s how many Americans have judged him, but after visiting his memorial in Paradise Valley, Arizona, I am astounded by his lifetime goals, passions, hobbies, military service and devotion to his country.

The focal point of The Memorial – a charming park on the corner of Lincoln and Tatum in this Phoenix suburb — is a 1.5-times-life-size bronze statue of Mr. Goldwater, surrounded by desert plantings, a pedestrian path and rock and metal plaques highlighting his service, awards and notable quotes.

Goldwater grew up in Phoenix and attended the University of Arizona for a year before taking over the family business, Goldwater Department Stores, upon his father’s death. He joined the Republican Party, promoted innovative business practices and opposed the New Deal because it promoted labor unions.

He and his wife had three children, including Barry Goldwater, Jr., who became a member of the U.S. House of Representatives when his dad was a U.S. Senator — the first such fatherson combo.

His special interests also included running the Colorado River through Grand Canyon and as an oarsman on the Nevill’s commercial river trip. His daily journal of the Grand Canyon journey included his photos and a 209page volume published as Delightful Journey.

At the start of World War II, Barry Goldwater received a reserve commission in the United States Air Force’s Ferry Command. His entire war experience was spent flying from the U.S. to India via Azores and North Africa, or South America, including flying “the hump” over the Himalayas to the Republic of China.

After service on the Phoenix City Council and major efforts to revive the Republican party of Arizona, he was elected to the U.S. Senate, serving 1953–1965 and 1969–1987. His run for President in 1964 was obliterated by the landslide victory of Lyndon Johnson.

During Goldwater’s Senate years, he was Chairman of Senate Armed Services committee and Senate Intelligence

committee. He was also heavily involved in the Republican National Committee.

Throughout his life he was devoted to his hobby of amateur radio operator and is remembered for his many hours devoted to helping servicemen talk to families over the Military Affiliate System. Goldwater’s famous collection of Kachina Dolls is now in the Heard Museum in Phoenix. He was also an amateur photographer and his estate included some 15,000 images following much of his career. He died in 1998.

My favorite of the numerous quotes shown at the Memorial: “Our responsibility in this hostile world is to defend successfully the concept of human freedom from every assault – idealogical, or military.” This man was much more than just a conservative politician.

••• Longview residents and longtime community/ business leaders Shirley Smith and Ray McDermott enjoy traveling.

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THREE FILMS TO CONSIDER IN 2016

Movies

Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Joy, and The Big Short

By Dr. Bob Blackwood

T

he end of any year brings a bundle of new film releases.

J. J. Abrams’ “Star Wars: T h e F o r c e Aw a k e n s ” (MPAA: PG-k13) is the fiscal bonanza, making $248 million in its first weekend in the U.S. — enough to cover the estimated $200 million production cost.

As of early January, it has brought in $1.51 billion worldwide. It may bring in an estimated $2 billion in the first release of this first film in the new “Star Wars” trilogy. Most critics are raving about the film.

some of the “Star Wars” films. There are two other films like it coming. If you like action — and I do — you’ll get it, but in the past, sometimes we got just a bit more.

I don’t care much for soap operas, but, if I did, I would certainly recommend David O. Russell’s “Joy” (MPAA: PG-13). Jennifer Lawrence is the young Joy Mangano whose invention, despite her family’s opposition, leads her to the leadership of her family.

Bradley Cooper plays her professional ally. Her divorced father (Robert De Niro) tries to exploit her; her mother (Virginia Madsen) is a hopeless whiner. Isabella Rossellini is a rich shrew, who her father wants to marry. And Elisabeth Röhm is the sister who tries to steal Joy’s thunder. But, despite her tears, Joy triumphs.

Kylo-Ren (Adam Driver) and storm troopers hunt for Rey (Daisy Ridley) and other rebels in “Star Wars: The Force Awakens.” Photo: Walt Disney

I think it is the finest action film for adolescents ever made—lots of action, wonderful cinematography, a John Williams score, and, with Daisy Ridley as Rey, a female action star who overshadows the men in the film.

It didn’t have a moment of serious thought which we used to have in As Joy, Jennifer Lawrence just fight both her family and established entrepreneurs to rise from poverty to great wealth in ‘Joy.’ Photo: Fox Pictures

If you liked Martin Scorsese’s “The Wolf of Wall Street,” you may like Adam McKay’s “The Big Short” (MPAA: R) with Christian Bale, Steve Carell, Ryan Gosling, and Brad Pitt. This is a true story. A few clever fellows on the fringes of Wall Street did good research and saw in 2007 that the packages of mortgage bonds contained not only the “A” level mortgage-buyers but also a huge percentage of “C” level mortgage-buyers who were very marginal. Why? Because the salesmen only made money if they sold mortgages.

At first, the banks and security agencies tried to stop the clever fellows from buying financial securities which would pay off if the banks’ mortgage bonds failed by hiking the cost of the fellows’ securities. But it was too late. Everything and everyone failed in the 2008 slump, except these clever fellows. The result? The taxpayers, you and I, paid billions to the banks for their bad decisions.

Dr. Bob Blackwood, professor emeritus of the City Colleges of Chicago, is the co-author, along with Dr. John Flynn, of the just-published book Everything I Know about Life I Learned from James Bond. Blackwood lives in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

Steve Carrell and Christian Bale steal a lot of scenes. It is a good, fast-moving film with a wicked sense of humor.

••• Tw o c l e v e r f e l l o w s (played by Steve Carell and Ryan Gosling) meet in ‘The Big Short.’ Photo:

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the spectator by ned piper Stuck on a stormy night

T

he motto, “Be prepared,” is good advice for more than Boy Scouts. When I left home on Dec. 9th to drive to a meeting near the Portland Airport, I didn’t anticipate the predicament I would encounter.

I knew something was wrong when oncoming traffic in all three lanes on I-5 North was at a standstill from Woodland to Vancouver. Confident that the Dept. of Transportation would unsnarl the bottleneck by the end of our meeting, I forged ahead.

Later I learned the problem was a landslide covering the freeway near Woodland. I still wasn’t concerned,

knowing I could always get home on Oregon’s Highway 30. Then someone at the meeting said that Highway 30 was also blocked by a landslide.

It became clear that I would need to check into a motel near the airport. I drove to the Holiday Inn. All sold out.

The clerk called several motels in the area. All of them were sold out. There was no room at the inn – any inn — but at least the clerk let me charge my cell phone for 40 minutes.

By then, several hours had passed.

Surely, the DOT had opened one lane on I-5. An eternal optimist, I headed for

home. Traffic on I-5 was creeping along, but at least it was moving. It took two and a half hours to get from the airport to Woodland. As I approached one of those illegal U-turn places in the median, a State Patrolman pulled me over with his flashlight. I rolled my window down and responded to his question as to my destination, telling him I was going home to Longview. He said, “No, you’re going back to Portland.” Seconds later, I was headed south again.

I pulled off the highway at the La Center exit, knowing there are casinos in La Center and casinos generally stay open all night. I ordered a cup of coffee and nursed the refills for two hours. Very weary, I went to my car, but could not sleep, it was so cold. Back in the casino’s café, I ordered breakfast. At 6am, recalling that another PUD meeting was scheduled in Portland that morning, I drove back and attended it. During a break, I learned that Highway 30 was

open. Thank God, I thought, my nightmare was nearly over. Not quite.

I left the meeting at noon and arrived home in Longview at 8:30pm, due to single-lane bumper-to-bumper snail’s pace-traffic crawling along as crews continued working to clear the road.

How could I have better prepared? I now keep a cell phone charger in the car at all times. I have a blanket in the trunk, though I hope never again to (try to) sleep in my car. Having found it impossible to pull out of traffic to use the rest room, I now have a container within reach for purposes I’d rather not discuss here. But I will say this: Think about what you might need if you are stuck in your car for several hours on a dark and stormy night.

••• Lifelong Longview resident Ned Piper enjoys reading, playing golf, putzing in the garden and watching all types of TV sports.

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