2 minute read
Civilized Living: Miss Manners
By Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am curious about what I believe is a new trend in restaurants: When I order a slice of pie, it now comes with a spoon. When did this happen? I was raised eating pie and other firm items with a fork. Spoons were for soups and ice cream.
GENTLE READER: Perhaps pies have gotten soupier? Or the servers have forgotten the accompanying ice cream? If the latter, Miss Manners would still have them give you both a dessert fork and spoon. But if you require a fork to enjoy your otherwise firm pie, ask for it. We do not want this trend catching on further and getting out of control. Forks with cereal could be next.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Whenever I throw a dinner party, I always make sure to provide
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tasty vegetarian dishes for those so inclined. I even make room for vegans, who can be quite demanding. But my vegetarian and vegan friends never provide a meat dish for anyone when they host a meal. I think a little reciprocity is in order. People can always provide doggie bags if they are afraid of having a piece of fried chicken left over.
GENTLE READER: Let’s not add fuel to a fire that is already too wellstoked. Miss Manners realizes that not everyone with special dietary needs is polite about not drawing attention to them at the table. But that problem will not be solved by asking the host — who may be vegetarian for religious or health reasons that would be a serious impediment to what you propose — to serve meat. You add vegetarian dishes to ensure that people have something to eat, not to make available an endless number of choices.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a friend, who, when invited to dinner at my home, fills her plate but doesn’t eat everything on it. Being sick and tired of watching my hard work and expensive groceries end up in the garbage, is there a polite way to ask her to go easy and then have seconds if she is still hungry?
GENTLE READER: No, but there is a solution to your problem, which has the added benefit of being more formal and decorous: Fill your guests’ plates yourself.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: If I accept two invitations to two different events and one date gets changed to the same date as the other, how do I decide which one to go to?
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