FINDING WOMAN

By Kayli Wouters

Finding the Surf

The ocean was silent. The stars dotted the sky above the Mentawai islands. Anchored just offshore in between two sleeping surf breaks, lightly rocking from side to side, was a sail boat. On board, six friends and strangers sat around a table together, glasses filled from an assortment of whiskey, juice and soda water. It was then that I was first asked the question, “did surfing find you?” Encouraged wholeheartedly by some, and underestimated greatly by others, the experience and process of surfing varies enormously for female surfers in the line up. Surfing is like an addiction - Floating at Racetracks in a male-dominated line up as the waves get hollower, faster and steeper, while the reef inches closer and closer to the surface as the tide sucks out. Each surfer takes the chance, of being thrown over the falls, and are lucky if they miss the sharp coral waiting patiently beneath. Strangely enough, they will all paddle back out for more. It’s an addiction to a feeling. There was no ‘one wave’ that transformed my life. There was no one magical session that solidified surfing as a necessity in my mind. There was instead, scattered bits of satisfaction, adrenaline, euphoria and priceless memories amongst a hazy battle of constant learning, heavy beatings, mind games, and pure moments of fear. It’s these brief moments of bliss amidst a washing machine of mental and physical hold downs, nose dives, reef tattoos and sunburnt eye balls that somehow make surfing worthwhile. It’s an addiction to beauty. Floating and gliding across a playground of the purest crystal blue waters is a vision that surfers are extremely fortunate to be able to witness. Coupled with a backdrop of infinite coconut trees and sandy beaches, surfing in Indonesia especially, is a singular experience of paradise.

Surfing is a lifestyle - Sipping on a kopi Bali, sat on a bamboo bench at Echo Beach, watching the ocean move behind amber tinted sunglasses. Waiting. Waiting with brewing anticipation for the daily surf, at the same home break, with the same people - the one that’s undertaken each day of the week and yet each session manages to create a different story. The wait, the surf, it takes priority of most of my days. It’s a cycle I love and am grateful for. Surfing is a lifestyle chosen. Waiting for the tide to turn, for the crowd to ease, for the swell to hit, for the switch to flip. Surfing is choosing to allow mother nature to dictate how you go about your days. Surfing as a woman, is repeatedly facing the fact that you are the minority in the water, and it’s constantly fighting to change that every time you continue to pursue the sport and the way of life. It is engaging in building and expanding a space for female surfing and female athletes. Surfing is a lifestyle that strengthens the body, and especially the mind. Regardless of skill level and experience, as a woman it takes an internal serenity and determination to face the environment of surfing today, and I am thankful for those who choose to do it, and for those who show their support for the movement. Surfing is a sense of belonging - Scooting down the oneway-used-as-two-way street on Nusa Lembongan, waving and smiling at the local kids who rip Shipwrecks every day, running into surfing friends at the local mini mart, stopping to talk to familiar faces from the line up when strolling down the beach at sunset. It’s a sense of belonging to a community. In and out of the water, surfing has its own unique way of bringing people together. Underneath what can sometimes appear as a competitive and aggressive space, lies beauty, love and a shared passion for the ocean. Female surfing in itself is a refreshing, inspiring and inclusive collective of people who support and advocate for each other. In Indonesia alone it is a pioneering feat which is now endlessly developing. I am always entirely at awe and appreciative of all the women who have worked so hard to create this space of possibilities, opportunities and accessibility for female surfing today. At last, to answer the question; no, surfing did not find me - I found surfing. I found a way of life that I love, and a community I feel connected to, and I continue to work to allow it to be a part of me, a part of others, and a part of those who will come after me.

Each time a woman stands up for herself, she stands up for all women. Photography Liquid Barrel