5 minute read
21st Century Parenting
21st Century Parenting Star Children down to earth
By Olivia Sinco
Being a spiritually aware person in a mainstream school setting has its advantages. It’s my privilege to observe patterns in groups of children and for example, factor in my understanding of the moon phases and what past life situations may be driving personalities to attract or repel. Being around star children in a school setting can be surprising; sometimes delightful yet very often concerning.
I gave up reading about star children around the time I started working in schools. Admittedly, I haven’t kept abreast of the latest ideas, as back then, information on star children was akin to a fairy tale. A prophecy that was idealistic at best and, at worst, putting these children above others, creating an image of them as superior to their parents and everyone else around them. Oh dear!
Consider this example. Luke is six and wants to be an artist. When he arrives in class he begins drawing. At every spare moment he’s doing the same, often ignoring instructions, just to continue creating. There’s no doubt this child is gifted; a simple sketch using a couple of markers is bursting with life and watching him immersed in his own world is pure joy.
Also, he has a very well-developed sense of empathy, often anticipating someone getting hurt. He is the first to be there offering comfort. Yet Luke is manipulative. He’s also dyslexic and has dysgraphia, a disability that affects handwriting. It’s very clear that at home, Luke is a force to be reckoned with, because at school he becomes triggered when firm boundaries are applied. Boundaries that ensure both routine and safety.
He can’t socialise without supervision because he doesn’t care to know how. He’ll often lie to us and run away. Now, based on these important issues, how is this star child going to serve humanity? How can he, when he can’t cope with normal everyday functions?
I feel it’s time to take the focus off the fairy tale and come back to reality. The very best chance these children have of achieving their purpose here, rests very firmly with how successfully they can be taught boundaries, values and the basic way of the world within their home environment.
Little Mr Luke’s lack of independence or his disinterest in developing any, might seem like a quirky character trait, yet his inability to cope with the school system is a big red flag. How will he cope with our justice and economic systems? How will he fulfill a destiny when his lack of interest in daily life shows up as mental health issues in high school and further on into adult life?
When the adults around him that are enabling the manipulation and giving into the oppositional defiance are no longer there, how will he make connections, be a part of a community and live a healthy meaningful life? A life that is necessary to the application of his gifts.
This message, broken down into its most basic form, asks the question: How can he develop further in human form should he believe that he has nothing to learn and that his parents are there to serve him?
Even when the adults in a star child’s life aren’t saying out loud, “You’re extraordinary beyond anyone I know”, this kind of reverence is so readily implied in our energy field.
These children are soaking up the pedestal they’ve been handed. From that elevated status, can you imagine what it’s like to go into a classroom and be told when to talk, where to sit or how to complete a task? In these instances, our time as education staff is used up getting them down from their high. This is all we can do, to see them return home where the belief in that superiority exists and return the next morning, disinterested in being part of a class or school community.
There’s an unwritten spiritual law that we must not use our spiritual gifts on others unless we have permission, yet how will just one such important spiritual boundary be learned unless there is an acceptance and understanding of how physical boundaries work? Their gifts may be exemplary yet without self-control and humility they are void.
As parents, your search for guidance can take a change of direction. Instead of soaking up information that glorifies your children, your energy can go toward affirming your position. Look for support, classes and literature that strengthen your discipline practice without sacrificing nurturing your children. Kind, firm, fair and resolute, they have no idea just how much they need you.
Olivia Sinco is an Education Support Worker, Facilitator of the 21st Century Parenting Program and artist.
Image Credit: Pixabay
