4 minute read
Reflections
By Jane Offer
Thoughts of an 11¾Year Old
Regular readers may remember I live in a multi-generational home with my daughter, sonin-law and two grandchildren. The stress of recent events has changed the kids in many ways, with noticeable effects of isolation on their mental health.
I asked Elyssa, aged 11¾, for her take on how she has been affected.
Have you noticed any difference in yourself and your friends?
“Yes, definitely. We all seem to get easily upset and angry by things, more than usual. Not great because I don’t like seeing people upset like that.
“I get upset more easily and I feel lonely inside. At the beginning I would cry for no reason or over little things that happened. Now I feel nervous and I don’t want to sleep on my own anymore, so often I will go into Mum’s room.
“I don’t feel as safe as I used to; nothing used to worry me very much but now most things worry me. I worry about the future especially, even though I don’t know what it will be like. I think that makes it worse – the not knowing.
“During the last lockdown I felt all my friends were drifting away because I couldn’t see them. Then, when we went back to school, I was also nervous because I didn’t feel I would fit in anymore. It wasn’t
the case, but I just felt it would be different. So, I created worries in my mind. At one point, my best friend and I didn’t get to speak to each other often and I felt she didn’t want to be friends with me, which made me very sad. It wasn’t true and she was feeling the same about me – it was just timing, but our minds made different stories about it.
“When we went back to school, we were supposed to have a swimming safety class but, because of our age and the rules, not all of my friends could go. I could, but chose not to because I felt bad for them. It just wasn’t fair to separate the class like that.”
What do you do when you feel anxious or nervous now?
“I talk to myself in my head and try to see any good things that can come from it. I have a place in my mind where I put the worries and after a while, I seem to just know what to say or do about it.
“Also, I am really worried that it will happen again and I won’t see my friends. I feel it’s important to stay in touch, so that none of us feel lonely and I don’t want to feel like that again.”
What are your thoughts on Mental Health?
“Good mental health is so important to us all. If you don’t feel good inside, you start to doubt yourself and don’t feel accepted by others. Then you don’t want to be around them and that feeds it and makes it worse.
“I am not as confident as I used to be, but I do speak up more if I feel I need to. I sometimes can’t speak honestly to my friends, as they don’t always see things the way I do, and they tell me I’m wrong. That makes me feel even more lonely, as I know I’m right for me and they don’t understand that.”
In isolation what did you do to make the time pass more easily?
“I went outside a lot to stay healthy, breathing fresh air and on the trampoline to keep active. I did creative stuff like painting and drawing and I played with the dogs. I also grew a mango!”
What have you learned from all this?
“Whatever happens, eventually it passes and that it will be alright in the end. I think it has changed me as a person as I am more conscious of my own thoughts and feelings and that our mood can affect other people. I don’t think we can know what other people are thinking or feeling and when we assume, it isn’t always right. If you think you know, then you can get hurt or you can hurt them. “I feel I have lost a lot of time in my life – almost two years that I can’t ever get back – so I have missed out on a lot of things; playing tennis, birthday parties, at school now I feel I am behind and have to work hard to catch up. The only good thing was I spent more time with my family, cooking and having fun. I feel I know them better as people now rather than just as my family.”
Her words say it all. We have all lost and gained so much, yet a positive attitude can help to see us through most situations. Ahh, the wisdom of a child!
Jane offers in-depth Soul Mastery readings guiding you through the major changes in life. Also, workshops and accredited courses.
Image Credit: Lydia Aretis
