Enlighten Up

The Relationship Cycle – The Needs of the Inner Child #2

By Freya Sampson Custodian Eartheart

In this issue, we explore how to meet your Inner-Child’s needs.

An excellent way to develop a healthy relationship with your Inner Child (IC) is to allow them to write to you in a journal, using your non- dominant hand. Give them the freedom to speak their truth, to Big-You. It is vital to be non-judgemental and you might get a surprise.

I did! My IC said, “I like you because you pretty much let me do whatever I like and I like the way stars smell!” What a revelation - stars have a smell! Now, I was aware that I was good with fun and play, but not so with boundaries!

Dialoguing, utilising my dominant hand to respond, I was able to ask questions and receive answers. Over time, the trust in my ability to parent her well, grew. The time invested was worthwhile, as the IC held the keys to my bliss. Here’s a list of suggestions on how to love your IC and yourself.

Love

• Decide to love yourself more than ever. • Decide that you’re innately lovable, regardless of what you’re currently experiencing. • Affirm “I am innately lovable and gorgeous.” • Talk tenderly, gently, lovingly to yourself, about yourself. • Give yourself ‘being-time’ every day. • Practice forgiveness of yourself, those you love, those you don’t. • Meditate on your heart chakra daily.

Security

• Affirm “I am safe, secure; all is well in my world.” • Lock doors and windows so you feel safe and have a spare key. • Keep emergency numbers and trusted friend close at hand. • Check-in with people you love. • Stroke or pat your arm when feeling concerned. • Wrap yourself in a comfy blanket or shawl. • Speak to your IC regularly, express that

Big-You will look after them

Boundaries

Don’t be led into situations where you feel uncomfortable. Practice maintaining Heart Consciousness. Keep your Heart Chakra healthy; it’s the IC’s home. Put your IC in a backpack. Do not carry them in front to deal with challenges. Big-You has that task. Pretend you’re giving advice to a dear friend. Practice saying ‘No’ or ‘I’ll think about it’. Do so, providing a measured response. Journal: listen to your IC, reflect, meditate, look at the big- picture, find middle-ground, lovingly respond, stick to your word. Always remember that IC test boundaries!

Rest

• Be aware - how much sleep you need to stay happy and positive (6- 8hrs). • Have a 15-20min nap or meditate instead. • Practice sleep preparation. Avoid sugar,

TV, computer games. • Play lovely music at bedtime. • Keep your bed for sleeping. • Have regular sleep and waking times. • Practice the Tree of Life

Grounding Exercise.

Attention

• Praise your IC often. • Learn to suspend judgment. • Make time: listen to the

IC non-judgmentally.

Respond, develop trust and use discernment. • Have a massage, facial, manicure, pedicure or haircut. Take care of your appearance. • Wear only things that inspire you and make you feel beautiful or handsome and confident. • Exercise or engage in sport. • Be in nature, really connecting with it. • Hug people. • Make love with your significant other or self. • Pay attention, noticing how you feel at all times. • Be aware of what, when and why you eat. • Create a supportive network of friends that are positive and loving.

Play and Fun

• Decide that your life is going to be a fun-filled, amazing journey. • Find a way to make everything a game. • Focus on positive things and not challenges.

They tend to work out when joy is in focus. • Hang-out with fun-loving people. • Watch fun TV shows or movies, avoiding drama, tragedy or • horror.

“Make time: listen to the IC non-judgmentally. Respond, develop trust and use discernment.”

Engage in activities your IC likes; sport, gardening, reading, clubs. Enjoy your body and sexuality.

Approval

• Self-talk is vital. If you make a mistake, are uncertain or forget something, avoid selfcriticism. Instead make self-talk statements “I approve of me even if no one else does right now.” • Make and listen to a recording of positive affirmations. • Teach your IC to express anger in positive ways. • Regard your needs, desires and goals as equally important as others. • Don’t try to be perfect. • Learn to say No and feel loved. • When you err, ask forgiveness, regardless of whether the other forgives. Approve of yourself, feel good, you’ve done your best. • Give yourself permission to be untidy or boring at times.

Acceptance

• Accept your body, focusing on positive attributes. • Accept things about yourself you cannot change. • Accept things about yourself you can change then do so, in a measured way. • Use positive affirmations like, “It’s okay to be different, I’m unique. I love that about me.” “I love and accept myself, as I am.” • Take care that your selftalk is loving, respectful, compassionate. • Be honest with yourself, accepting and acknowledging your thoughts and feelings. • Accept others as they are, always speak positively to and about them. • When you feel the stress or resistance in your body, breathe out and decompress.

Happy Journey