I Left My Heart In Tokyo: A Love Letter To Japan by Yellowbelle Duaqui

Dear Japan,

Since I first laid my eyes on you, I think it was love at first sight. I first saw you on the 1st of April, 2008, as a pink fairyland of cherry blossoms, as I arrived from a Japan Airlines flight from Manila to begin my studies in Japanese language at the Japanese Language Center, Tokyo University of Foreign Studies in Fuchu City in western Tokyo. Every day, as I gazed at your pink blossoms at the backdrop of the blue sky on my way to school from my dormitory, I felt that love deepen, as I looked at the heavens to whisper my “thank you” to God for allowing me to feel renewed in your homeland with fresh hope for the future.

The love you gave me was quiet, but I felt it deep within my soul. Through the generous scholarship you gave me through the Japanese Ministry of Education, Culture, Sports, Science and Technology (Monbukagakusho), I have never felt so nurtured in my academic life more than what you have given me: a room of one’s own, free tuition, a monthly allowance, and a conducive study environment. Not even my parents and the land of my birth have given me all that! I have always prayed for good study conditions as a child. This prayer came true through my scholarship in Japan which lasted from the Spring of 2008 until the Autumn of 2011 when I graduated with my master’s degree in Global Studies from Sophia University, a top Jesuit university and a leading liberal arts institution in Japan.

Staying in Japan as a MEXT scholar is like being adopted for a certain period by a richer neighbor, where one has to leave one’s poor parents in order to learn the ways of the former, and hopefully, improve one’s own lot better than the destiny of one’s parents. In a multicultural dormitory for foreign students in the lovely neighborhood of Kamisoshigaya in Setagaya Ward, Tokyo, I lived in a room of my own, with a fancy ledge that allowed me to trade stories with my Japanese neighbor Nanami about Japanese legends and folk tales. I eagerly embarked on my study of the Japanese language, thinking that the only way to learn the ways of Japan was to unlock its culture through its language. I lovingly made my own study materials and posted it in my room’s walls, staring at the Hiragana and Katakana alphabets until I fall asleep. In two weeks, I was able to master the recognition and writing of both alphabets. From there, guided by my Japanese language teachers and Nihongo textbooks, I learned the nuances of Japanese verbs and articles, grammar, pronunciation and situational responses. To me, learning about Kanji was the most challenging, yet possible if one will approach each character with a pictorial mind and the curiosity of a voracious reader eager to know about the story behind it. Practicing the strokes for each character was also an exercise that required patience, dedication and careful attention to detail. A heart that possesses no love for Japanese-ness could not possibly undertake this level of effort, especially if one is coming from a nation that is more used to the Western style of writing.

Love, as they say, is tested with time. It has its ups and downs, so as my relationship with Japan. With the emphasis of Japanese culture on timeliness and discipline, I had experienced being strongly admonished by a Sensei for being late to her class, of which I was a Teaching Assistant. With the Japanese emphasis on loyalty and focus, I was wrong about trying to get more eclectic experiences, as I was presented by a strong temptation to take on more research load than what I could possibly handle. But time heals all wounds. It is indeed very true that, in love, when it is meant for you, it will find its way back to you.

Hence, almost three years after returning to the Philippines in September 2011, I found myself yearning to go back to Japan, missing it and longing to be a part of its magic once again. And so I returned to Japan through academic conferences and other related gatherings in the social sciences (i.e. Sociology, Japanese Studies), which enriched my junior professorial career with one of the leading universities in Metro Manila in terms of network building,

research and publications, and personal growth. And so from 2014 up to the present, I kept coming back, exploring other areas of Japan I have not traveled to, meeting new people, and doing new things I haven’t tried in the past. And each time I travel to Japan, I bring home with me fresh ideas, new learning, and hope for the future. It has been a love that grew stronger as time passed by. It has been a love that does not quench my excitement with a single trip. It has been a love that keeps me coming back for more.

Yellowbelle Duaqui in Japan / Jeepney Press

My personal journey to Japan has also taken an important turn with the recent fellowship I’ve completed at the Institute of Asia, Africa and Middle Eastern Studies in Sophia University. From October 2018 to June 2019, I was given the opportunity by Japan Foundation to do fieldwork in Japan as a doctoral student currently undertaking my dissertation on Filipino international students attending Japanese universities. This may be one of the very few studies done on Filipino students in Japan. This allowed me to return to my home university in Japan, which is Sophia University, and to reconnect with old friends and acquaintances from ten years ago. I feel that at this point of time, my Japan journey has come full circle.

And as this love matures, I feel the need to share Japan to others. I therefore teach about Japan with passion, inspiring my students or anyone who approaches me about the subject of Japan to seize any opportunity to learn about this nation and its history, its rise and fall, its failures and successes, its wisdom, and yes, even its mistakes. The Philippines has so much to learn from Japan. Loving Japan, hence, is not only about burning passion, it is a love that comes with deep respect, as I continue to be inspired in my personal life by Japan’s experiences as a nation, particularly the profound example it sets as a model penitent after the sufferings brought about by its ambition during the Second World War, its focus on peace, charism and service, and how – as a great economic giant -- it rose up like a phoenix from the ashes after the war.

I do not know, for certain, as to what direction my relationship with Japan will take in the years to come. One thing that I am fairly sure of right now, though, is that this love has taken deep roots after years of nurturance, and it is just waiting to bloom at the right time.

Love and light,

Yellowbelle