Nerve Magazine Vol. 1 #3

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DECEMBER12

WHO’S ON BOARD? Editor Toby Gray editor@nervemedia.org.uk

Features Editor Victoria Richards Noora Salonen (sub) LaTeesha Osborne (sub) features@nervemedia.org.uk

Got it COVERED P39

Fashion Editor Natalie Glaze Grace Williams (sub) Holly Welsh (sub) fashion@nervemedia.org.uk

Sport Editor Dan Welling Oscar Tollast (sub) Craig Rodhouse (sub) sport@nervemedia.org.uk

Entertainment Editor Joshua Iredale Tara May Cox (sub) ents@nervemedia.org.uk

Online Editor Maddie Feltham Lucy Hitchcock

Check what we’ve got for you this month...

2012 REVIEW It really has been some year. We’ve hosted the greatest Olympic Games in modern history, celebrated a Diamond Jubilee and survived the end of the world. Unless PSY is the reborn anti-christ that is...

online@nervemedia.org.uk

Photo Editor Rachael Sanders photo@nervemedia.org.uk

Proofing Rachael Reynolds Advertising Samantha Stockwell susales@bournemouth.ac.uk 01202 961461

Media Coordinator Joe Tattersall sunerve@bournemouth.ac.uk 01202 961681

Wanna Join?

For opportunities to get involved, whether it be writing, design, illustration, photography or even a spot of photobombing, email editor@nervemedia.org.uk for details.

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CONOR MAYNARD

Instantly dubbed the ‘British Bieber’, 19 year old Brighton YouTube sensation has flown into mainstream success. We chat to him on his rise, Bieber and his urge to go to university.

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JOS BUTTLER

Aged just 22, Jos Buttler is one the most promising prospects in English cricket, and we had a chance to talk to the man himself.

in-

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BLACKOUT

We sat down with Blackout’s lead singer Sean to dicuss the important topics of the band. Instead we ended up talking about Wales, shoes and Dirty Sanchez.

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SERGE DENIMES

Led by Made In Chelsea Star Oliver Proudlock, Serge Denimes is making serious noise with their urban t-shirt range. We profile the brand to bring you all the hottest info.

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DECEMBER12

Contributors Writers Rachel Lloyd Ben Tyrer John Gusman Bryony Diplock James Hibberd Laura Eley Joanne Ball Tanya Yilmaz Adam Trimby Georgia Naden Mallory Mabe Maddie Feltham Sofie Boyland Ben Fisher Tristan Griffiths Tom Beasley Emma Grewal Claire Martin Nikhil Pikkay Kath Matthews Designers Bryony Diplock Joanna Poulton Tanya Yilmaz Lauren Debono-Elliot Grant Corlett Sophie Boyden Hollie Brotherton

Word From Your Editor

Hasn’t 1st term absolutely flown by? It seems like just yesterday we were settling in for Fresher’s, but now we’re donning the Christmas jumpers and heating up the mulled wine ready for the festive season.

It’s been hard to keep up with all the shenanigans of 2012, so for the final outing of year, Issue #3 has lined up a special 7 page special review to look back at the best bits.

With the Olympics, a Diamond Jubilee, a holographic Tupac, PSY and space jumps, 2K12 has been one to remember. Mix that in with some cracking music, films, TV and books,

Illustrators Grant Corlett Nathan Hackett Becky Hill Sam Mattacott Charlotte Gay Alice Kirkham

Keep Up facebook.com/nervemagazine twitter.com/nervemagazine www.nervemedia.org.uk

Important Stuff Here at SUBU, we print on 100% recycled paper using vegetable -based inks by Indigo Press Limited, achieving ISO14001 and FSC accreditations.

Nerve Magazine is produced

by SUBU (the Students Union @ Bournemouth University). Information correct at time of going to press (November 2012). The views expressed are not necessarily those of Nerve Media, SUBU or the Editor.

Nerve Magazine is printed on 250 gsm silk cover and 115gsm body provided by Indigo printing Press.

and 2012 has been one to remember.

We also chat to rock maestros The Blackout, latest pop sensation Conor Maynard, folk sweetheart Benjamin Francis Leftwich, reggae legend Lee Scratch Perry and upcoming English cricketer Jos Buttler in what is our most interview filled issue yet.

With more top features, sport, entertainment, fashion, beautiful artwork and mouth watering regulars that you can shake a Christmas cracker at, you can see out 2012 in style. Merry Christmas everyone and see you in the New Year.

Toby Gray

The Full Line Up

REGULARS

FASHION

07 Mix Tape

18 Street style

08 Heads Up!

20 Wish list

09 Winners/Losers

21 Clothes show live 2012

30 Photo of the month

22 Serge Denimes

32 Panda Pop Quiz

FEATURES

36 Reviewed 56 Milk!

OPINION

14 Imax or isore?

25 Shacking Up 59 Christmas fat list

28 Divorcing British politics

63 Top 5: student house items

61 Jimmy Saville scandal

SPORT

ENTERTAINMENT

26 Jos Buttler

10 Conor Maynard

45 Alternative sports personality

16 DJ Andy Whitby

46 Mens/womens varsity hockey

34 Benjamin Francis Leftwich

48 AFCB: Ross Embleton

39 2012 Review

and Eddie Howe

53 Lee ‘Scratch’ Perry

50 Racism in football

54 The Blackout 62 The Block Party

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Essential TRACKS we’ve been listening to this MONTH

THE 1975 SEX Having already gone through 5 name changes, indie-rock newcomers The 1975 have finally made one stick, and are hoping to explode onto the scene with this ridiculously catchy tune. It’s a straightforward song about shagging that will stick in your head immediately without letting go.

One to watch for 2013.

IMAGINE DRAGONS DEMONS

REVEREND AND THE MAKERS OUT OF THE SHADOWS The Sheffield band have failed to really live up to their breakthrough album The State of Things in recent years, until now. Out of the Shadows sees Reverend and the Makers back to their best, albeit with a more dancey feel to their sound. An up-beat tempo with catchy chords and lively lyrics, this song will have your finger glued to the repeat button.

These guys have been making quite a splash in the USA with their big hit ‘It’s Time’, but their UK following is only just hotting up. It’s a shame because they are churning out some amazing indie tracks amongst the best. A great pronounced, head bobbing beat and a clever chorus that is a sign of great things to come.

KENDRICK LAMAR M.A.A.D CITY Picking a single standout track off Lamar’s sensational new album Good Kid M.A.A.D City is a difficult task in itself, but this track encapsulates everything explosive about the entire project. Telling the story of his corrupt upbringing in Compton over an amped up string beat, the track flips halfway into 100% old school West Coast with hard verses firing out. This is hip hop brilliance, no question.

BEN HOWARD ESMERELDA An ethereal jangle of guitar plays over the haunting vision of Howard’s voice in his first song since his stunning debut album. With twinges of darkness, we may just be witnessing the deeper side to Howard’s psyche, and from this outing, we can’t wait for it.

LABRINTH ft. EMELI SANDE BENEATH YOUR BEAUTIFUL Labrinth proves his versatility as a musician and goes all soft on us for a duets with one of the best new acts to emerge over the last year, Ms. Sande. A true ballad with beautiful harmonies that’ll make you feel all warm and cosy on a cold winter’s night.

POLICA LAY YOUR CARDS OUT This American indie group has received the seal of approval from the likes of Jay-Z and Bon Iver’s front man Justin Vernon. Ubercool electronica with smooth beats lead by the dreamy vocals of Channy Leaneagh, guaranteed to lull you into a half-meditative state.

Head straight to the playlist by scanning the QR code or visit www.nervemedia.org.uk

FOALS INHALER The 1st single from their 3rd album set for release in February 2013, Foals have changed up their style. Building with their signature plucky guitar sound before erupting into full on smackdown reminisicent of Rage Against The Machine, Inhaler is a fearless signal of the band’s emerging maturity.

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HEADS UP! YOUR MONTH IN BOURNEMOUTH

FOALS @60MILLION 7 DECEMBER CLUBBING

GIGS

EVENTS

O2 Bournemouth 5 December

BIC 4 December

The Old Fire Station 7 December

FML It’s Xmas!

Eden 4th Birthday Party The Winchester 7 December

Keane Foals

60 Million Postcards 7 December

Lemar

We Are Your Friends The Old Fire Station The Old Firestation 8 December

9 December

60 Million Postcards 24 December

10 December

Peter Andre

Christmas Eve Party BIC Dub Optic NYE

The Old Fire Station 31 December

Rancid

O2 Bournemouth 11 December

Electric Six

Best of British NYE The Old Fire Station Lava Ignite 31 December

New Year Party

12 December

Dappy

O2 Academy 18 December

Comedy Nation Sleeping Beauty Pantomime BIC 8 Dec - 6 Jan

Jools Holland BIC 8 December

Santa Fun Run Bournemouth beach 9 December

Not playing at a gay bar this time round: Electric Six @Old Fire Station, 12 November

War of the Worlds BIC 12/13 December

Coca Cola Tour Truck Bournemouth - Various 20 December

Madagascar Live The Ideal Christmas BIC Tramps and Vamps Party 10 - 13 January O2 Academy Circus of Horrors NYE V 31 December Rubyz 31 December NERVE 08

22 December

The Lighthouse 12 January

The chances were a million to one, but...

War of the Worlds @ BIC 12/13 December

Whilst the hype as one of the closest presidential elections in recent history may not have been so accurate, we all breathed a HUGE sigh

WINNERS

LOSERS MONTH OF THIS

ROMAN ABRAMOVIC After sacking Roberto Di Matteo, the one manager that brought Chelsea the Champions League trophy three months into the season and appointing Rafael Benitez as interim manager, the iron hand of Chelsea has finally turned into the villain for most Blues fans. Benitez bore the fury of the Chelsea faithful against Man City but Abromovich’s ridiculous decision has caused his standing in Stamford Bridge to be an an all time low.

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ENTS

CONOR MAYNARD Tanya Yilmaz talks to the latest pop sensation on his route to stardom, the Bieber comparison and why he’s always wanted to go to university

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T

he music business is changing. The way pop stars are emerging is evolving at an incredible rate, and the latest sensation; 19 year old Conor Maynard is testament to this. Notching up millions of views on YouTube and catching the attention of the finest in the music industry, Maynard sought mainstream success before he was even signed to a record label.

The Brighton-born teenager had always been interested in performing, especially acting, but had never focused on singing completely until he was 15. "Me and my mates always used to mess about singing walking to school when this girl overheard me one day and went ‘do that again’. It made me think ‘if I can get a reaction like that, why not see what sort of response I get online." With a "crappy webcam" and the "cheapest possible" home recording kit, Maynard would record covers from the likes of Usher, Chris Brown and Justin Timberlake, gradually building up a "better recording sound, learning how to produce and record from the internet."

After a year of uploading videos, Conor’s popularity amplified on YouTube, especially after his rendition of Ne-Yo’s Beautiful Monster, which dramatically changed the youngster’s life. One million views later, Maynard was approached by the R’n’B star himself and his management team explained how Ne-Yo wanted to work with him. "It was a typical American accent, all cringey.

All I said was look I really

appreciate you’re interested and stuff but like I don’t have any proof that this is from Ne-Yo. To be honest I thought it was my mates down the road doing a prank." Still not believing his luck, Maynard was shocked when he received news that the US star wanted to Skype him. "It was so crazy, I was there at 1:30am debating whether to change out of my Superman pyjamas, then the call popped up with Ne-Yo sat on the other end saying how he wants to work with me and fly me out to LA. I think it was from here onwards when I knew I could make a living out of singing."

When word broke out, UK labels swarmed him with record deals, but for Conor it was all about finding his sound, making it all original and unique. "I was so young, and I was being surrounded by people telling me I should be following the sound of Justin Bieber. For me, I try to steer clear from that stereotype because I think people liked my sound at the beginning because I took a mainstream song and made it my own and that’s something I wanted to stick to." Eventually, aged 17, Maynard signed to EMI’s sister label, Parlophone who, to name a few have a roster of Kylie Minogue, Gorillaz and Tinie Tempah.

Conor shone in the limelight when he was nominated for, and subsequently won MTV’s Brand New for 2012 award.

His first single, Can’t Say No debuted at number 2 in the charts in April, with his follow up, Vegas Girl, also scoring him with another top 5 hit. Working with the likes

BETTER THAN BIEBER? Bieber aint’ got nothing on this Brighton bucko, and there are the 4 reasons why Maynard thinks he’s better than the teenage icon.

“Myarefans

called ‘Mayniacs’ for a reason, because they go hard or they go home

”

of Pharell Williams, Frank Ocean and Ne-Yo, Maynard co-produced and co-wrote his album Contrast, which debuted at Number 1 in the charts back in July. In celebration of his success, he has embarked on a nationwide tour, stopping off in Bournemouth on November 2nd where he showed the crowd of screaming 14 year old girls what he really can do. "My fans are called ‘Mayniacs’ for a reason, cause they go hard or they go home."

“I can sing”

“I’m more polite”

“I have style”

“I’m taller” NERVE 11

CHUFF MEDIA

“

Words Tanya Yilmaz Design Tanya Yilmaz & Toby Gray

Being signed at the age of 17, some would argue that Maynard has missed out on his youth and the experience of going to university. He explains, "all my friends are off at uni at the moment and I wish I could have that feeling because I am so jealous.

It would have been so much fun, obviously there would be a lot of work behind it, but for me personally I’m a bit gutted I never got to do that."

Like us students, apparently having a record deal means having to grow up quite a lot as well. "Being thrust into such an adult industry- God, that sounds like porn- I was brought up really quickly. It was good though because it boosted my confidence being surrounded by older people so I wasn’t that nervous kid talking to all these adults. It also meant I had to look after myself. My mum wasn’t going to be there every two minutes doing my washing or cooking anymore."

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2012 has definitely been Conor Maynard’s year, and it looks set to get even better in the future with his list of artists he’d love to work with. "I mean I am a massive fan of Drake, so to be able to work with him would be crazy. On the other side of the spectrum John Mayer is another; I mean he has that edge, something that I strive to have." Acting is another possibility on the cards, with Maynard explaining, "if I got to that place in music where I was happy with then I would be definitely up for going back into acting. I would want to replicate Justin Timberlake’s career but in my own original style and do it better." There’s no doubt that Maynard will have continued success, with many calling him the ‘future of pop’- we certainly didn’t see him coming and it’s unlikely we’ll be watching him go anytime soon.

I would want to replicate Justin Timberlake’s career but in my own original style

”

MAYNARD TALENT WATCH

"I think Alexa Goddard is brilliant. I collaborated with her once for one of my YouTube videos but I had never met her so I invited her to one of my London shows. I guarantee she’ll be snapped up soon the amount of times her videos are being watched."

FORM A QUEUE LADIES Nerve Okay, so what’s your chat up line?

Conor (laughs) It may not work that often but the best I have is - ‘I have skittles in my pants, do you want to taste the rainbow?’

conor-maynard.com @ConorMaynard

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IMAX ISORE? OR

Ever noticed that giant grey building on the Bournemouth waterfront? Have you been left wondering what the hell it is?

S

ay you have nothing to do on a wet Saturday afternoon. The beach isn’t really an option this time of year unless you’re a bit mental and you can’t spend all day in the pub again. So where do you go? Well you go to the IMAX aka the Bournemouth Waterfront Centre! Home to some of the nicest restaurants and a dazzling 3D cine...Sorry lets bring this back to 2012 because I seem to have been caught in a time warp. The IMAX, where do I begin? Dubbed by the Guardian as one of ‘Britain’s most hated buildings’, the locals of Bournemouth have had an interesting relationship with the IMAX and finally we are getting some closure.

Back in 2002, the brand-new ‘Waterfront Attraction Center’ opened down at Bournemouth’s pier approach, much to the excitement of the general public.

Filled with restaurants, a nightclub and a 3D cinema the ‘Bournemouth Waterfront Centre’ was sure to be a huge success. But alas, just three years later, the IMAX’s doors were closed for refurbishment and never re-opened. Some of the restaurants ran for a number of years after this, fizzling out one by one until finally in 2010, the council pushed for the IMAX to be sent in another direction.

Designed by a very reputable local architect the ‘Bournemouth Waterfront Centre’ was also supposed to have a state of the art casino on its top floor, which offers beautiful views of the beach. Just six months into the build, Stakis Hotels purchased the Palace Court Hotel (now Premier) on Westover road and decided to also open a casino.

Grovesnor Casinos, the company that had been contracted to run the casino at the Waterfront, then decided that this town just ain’t big enough for the

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Adam Trimby gets the lowdown on Bournemouth council’s efforts to try and salvage what The Guardian is calling one of Britain’s most hated buildings

both of them so pulled out of the build.

Most Bournemouth locals believe this had a direct impact on the IMAX’s downfall.

Right from the beginning of the construction locals were saying, "it’s an eyesore" and "it completely ruins the view of the seaside" - so when it closed in 2005 due to a lack of business, there were some unhappy bunnies stuck with an enormous yet deserted building, blocking the lovely view of the Bournemouth coast.

In the early days of the IMAX business was booming but this didn’t last long. According to local Councilor for the Bournemouth Waterfront area Robert Chapman, "the waterfront opened with a very down market catering offer and the IMAX was run so badly that they appeared to have a death wish.

It was all a big disappointment for Bournemouth".

Over the years there has been plenty of debate surrounding ‘Britain’s most hated building’ and in March 2010

“

the IMAX was run so badly that they appeared to have a death wish

”

members of the public were invited to decide on its fate. A shortlist of 7 possible outcomes for the building were given to the 3,500 people who turned out to the meeting and after a lot of squabbling, the general opinion was that the ‘Waterfront’ would be turned into a ‘tropical gardens’. Not only was this a massive waste of time, because

after a very long drooling process they eventually threw the tropical gardens idea out of the window. The IMAX is now going to be turned into an outdoor events stage – just a mild difference to tropical gardens, then.

Locals are still undecided on whether this is the best option for the site even though the dismantling process has already begun. Paul, a Postman from Bournemouth said, "The IMAX cost Bournemouth taxpayers 7.5million pounds and now they’re just going to knock it down and use the rubble as a stage. Doesn’t seem right to me".

However, Bert Burnell, a local promoter and festival organiser believes "This is a wicked idea! I can’t think of anything that would please me more.

Bournemouth thrives on having a great nightlife and being musically diverse.

We could really have some great shows on a stage like this. Maybe something like the Fatboy Slim gig on Brighton beach a few years ago".

Deconstruction of the IMAX is currently underway and the building is being stripped for material that could be recycled or sold so that the council can make its money back on what will go down in history as one of Bournemouth’s biggest failures.

The new outdoor events stage will be host to a number of different performances including musical acts, theatre performances, pantomimes, orchestral performances and even live screenings of national events such as Wimbledon.

The outdoor events stage should be up and running by next summer. Supposedly. We can only live in hope that there’s something for everyone - Maybe a surprise performance from Daft Punk? What can I say? I’m a dreamer...

Feature

TIMELINE

1998 – Start of construction 2002 – IMAX eventually opens 2005 – IMAX closes at Easter for refurbishment. Never reopens.

2010 – Waterfront is fully closed and ideas are put to public 2012 – Finalised that it will be demolished for arts arena (April) 2012 – Stripping and demolition of IMAX underway (November) 2013 – New arts arena ready for the public (by the summer)

REJECTED IDEAS

Waterpark Interactive arts activity centre Museum Tropical gardens Spa Performing arts space/amphitheatre Family play park Boutiques/bistros

Original Illustration Sam Mattacott Design Victoria Richards

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DJ ANDY WHITBY The hard house legend chats to Tristan Griffiths about his life as a DJ and why his love for music never dies When we saw you perform at Lava & Ignite. you were mixing hardcore, but you are predominantly from a hard dance background right?

I am indeed – although my harder musical beginnings are rooted firmly in hardcore. Back in 1996 I stumbled across an album called Bonkers which changed my world forever. At the time I had only ever heard dance music in its most-known forms - house and trance.

When I heard this much faster music I was instantly hooked and it wasn’t until about 4 years later until I found hard house, which is 20bpm slower and has more of a groove. It was this that I decided to play, write and form a career from, but my love for ‘core will always be there too.

How do you manage to find ways to keep every set different, energetic & exciting for the audience?

It’s all about keeping your sets interesting through new mixes, new tracks, remixes and bootlegs that relate to the current state of the scene and dance music as a whole. Coupling those factors with new and exciting mixes keeps the crowd engaged and people keen to see you again to see what you’ll pull out of the bag next time!

other listeners, find more content associated by that user if needed and it’s all presented in a very clear and well designed way.

What is the next big gig you are looking forward to?

I look forward to every show I play in different ways; be it where I’ll know a lot of people in the crowd or a part of the world that I know REALLY love to party – each weekend brings something new and exciting which is what makes my job such an adventure!

What is the most interesting venue / gig you have ever been asked to play?

I’ve played on yachts floating around the Sydney Opera House, on stages in the middle of forests in Russia and even at illegal raves where the police have rioted in and shut the place down.

But in a few weeks I’ve been booked to perform at an Indian Restaurant for a guy’s Birthday event. Part of the booking involved me having dinner with him too – so I guess we’ll see how that goes!

What do you think it is about the hard dance scene that makes people travel long distances, to see sets by their favourite DJs & MCs week in week out?

For me it’s always been about the energy, the feel-good vibes associated with the music and the chance to leave your week behind you and forget your problems (for a few hours at least).

Clubbers appreciate artists who are as dedicated to the music as they are. I live and breathe this music – it is my life and I try to show this through my performances.

How do you think the advances in technology have helped and / or hindered the industry?

Musically it has both helped and hindered. The music industry was so keen to move forward with forms of media that before we knew it the right measures weren’t put in place to stop piracy or file-sharing. This worked on separate levels; the loss of income for some producers meant many had to stop and seek other forms of employment. It also meant the quality of music dropped in some instances, as it was easier than ever to buy production software, write a track and release it on their own record label. It hasn’t been all negative though, due to music now available on a much larger scale it means it’s reaching audiences which may have not been interested before.

Do you reckon technology and social media has improved the chances of potential artists gaining success as DJ’s and producers?

I really think it has. Before websites like Soundcloud, the means to getting to those who mattered was a long drawn out process coupled with a hope they would take time to listen to your CD/download your file/read your letter. Now it’s a case of ‘here’s my download link’ – you click it then press play. You can read comments by

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andywhitby.com awsum.co.uk hardcast.com Words Tristan Griffiths Design Toby Gray

ENTS

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FASHION

WRAP UP IN STYLE Even the coldest of winter weather can’t stop the savviest of dressers.

Andrea Pereira to the streets to find everything from blanket toppers to luxe fur trim, winter warmers and cosy accessories.

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Design Rachel Burke

BOURNEMOUTH STREET STYLE

MATTHEW, 18 “My wardrobe is full of colourful, bright and miscellaneous clothes.”

Our street style photographer Sofie Boyland has been out in force this month on the lookout for the very best Bournemouth fashionistas.

Keep an eye out, you could be here next issue!

EMILY, 19 “I usually get items from charity shops, because they are cheap and unique.”

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FASHION

1/

Limited Edition Black Twist Cable Beanie Be unique with this Limited Edition Beanie only avaliable online or Topman’s Oxford Circus Flagship store. £10 from Topman

2/ Calvin Klein

CHRistmas FOR HIM 1/

Owl Hand Warmers Keeping warm has never been so fun and on trend with the use of an owl, one of this seasons biggest fashion statements. £10 from River Island

2/ Christmas

Cake Kit We just haven’t quite and possibly won’t ever get over this great summer of baking. So whilst we eagerly wait for the next season of Great British Bake Off, give someone the gift of baking, this Christmas. Ideal for both men and women, so they

can spend this year practicing for next. £10 from Topshop

WISH LI S T

Eternity for Men Eau de Toilette Gift Set A small bottle of Eau de Toilette and a complimenting body wash all from Calvin Klein, this is the ideal gift for a fashion conscious man. £26.10 from John Lewis

3/ Black Christmas Theme Socks Be ironic because it’s just not Christmas without those statement novelty socks. Must have. £5 from River Island 4/ Black Chunky Knitted Snood With navy and mustard colour blocking this chunky knit snood is perfect for this winter season. £16 from Debenhams

FOR HER FOR HIM TOO

!

3/ Benefit 6 Piece Skincare Set Featuring 6 miniature pieces from Benefit’s Radiant skincare kit, these petite presents offer the perfect starting kit for fabulous skin this winter. £10 from Asos 4/ Traditional

Fairisle Snood A black knitted snood with fairisle pattern, avaliable from Topshop perfect for keeping away the winter chill. £18 from Topshop Words Holly Welsh Design Toby Gray

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CALLING ALL YOU

FA S H I O N

DEVOTEES

C

CLOTHES SHOW LIVE!

hristmas has come early in Birmingham. As the NEC hosts the Clothes Show live 2012 for its 23rd year.

This massive event is held over 5 days from the 7th to 11th of December so there is no excuse not to be there. Originally the clothes show started off as a TV programme which had a flock of viewers in 1989. After a year due to popularity the live event moved to the NEC in Birmingham where it gave people the fashion fix they were craving for.

So what’s in it for you? Well it is guaranteed to amaze you with flawless fashion fixes, its very own beauty hall, several style boutiques, fierce fashion shows and a chance to meet celebs, so there really is something for everyone. Aimed at us students, and held is a student zone where people can interact with fashion degree students, ask questions about the industry and witness creations they have made themselves. This could be hugely beneficial for all you aspiring fashionistas out there.

As for timings, it’s ok to be fashionably late, but be sure to book yourself a slot at the Suzuki fashion show. Not only it is one of the largest UK catwalks but it’s also included in your

ticket. It gathers thousands of fashion followers together to enjoy a 45 minute performance of carefully picked models strutting their stuff down the runway united with dancers with staggers of stamina. A great way to end or begin your day with a bang!

Fear not though, you will not be alone. During the 5 days the likes of the handsome Peter Andre, Essex’s finest Amy Childs and Gemma Collins will be joining you to celebrate fashion history in the making. Be sure to catch them at the cafes or bars for an autograph.

Ready to buy your ticket?

There are two types. You can purchase the standard ticket at £27, which gets you into the event and a seat at the fashion theatre. Or go with the platinum ticket at £40, which entitles you to a fast track entry of the event, a platinum seat at the fashion show plus an official show guide and show bag which is filled with exciting goodies.

You will need to pay a £2 booking fee per ticket, however us students get 20% off by just using our NUS card. So get your tickets guys, you’ll be missing out otherwise.

Visit clothesshowlive.com to grab your tickets.

Words Sophie Boyland NERVE 21

FASHION

Having set up his own clothing label ‘Serge DeNimes’ in 2011, Oliver Proudlock recently visited Bournemouth’s very own Bonsai Lounge to promote his latest range of t-shirts at a fashion party of champagne and shopping. We took a look at his premium range.

SERGE DENIMES T he name ‘Proudlock’ is likely to be recognised among many students and fans of the hit E4 reality television show, Made in Chelsea. Taking a slightly laid back role in the programme, Oliver Proudlock has become known for his individual style, catching the eyes of many fashionista females and trend seeking males alike. His vintage denim jackets, bold statement glasses and his trademark jewellery adorned with skulls and crosses have really placed this Chelsea boy on all of our fashion radars. But behind an Etonian upbringing and socialite facade we see through a camera lens, lies a multi-talented artist making tracks in the fashion industry.

As a graduate in Fine Art from Newcastle University, Proudlock says that for him "art and fashion go hand in hand", and the creative vision behind the evolving brand truly boasts enormous potential. Coming from an artistic background has certainly helped as his first Rio de Janeiro inspired collection featured a collaboration with his own mother, a professional photographer in her own right, Initially only delving in graphic tees, Proudlock’s latest monochrome collection has been given a modern and minimalist twist, being compared to the likes of Boy London and Doghouse. Serge DeNimes is also looking to foster new talent by collaborating with up and coming artists to print onto tees in the future. Hoping next to move onto denim jackets, jeans, sweatshirts, caps and jewellery that he is so well known for, this young brand is evolving fast.

Proudlock’s mixture of talents has proven to blend seamlessly for Serge DeNimes, which shows no sign of slowing down. This reality personality has far more to offer than the chiseled style star we’ve grown to love on a Monday night.

Oliver Proudlock, Nerve knights you King of the King’s Road!

Get your hands on the Serge DeNimes range online or in Harrods, Wolf & Bager, Joseph, John Anthony and more.

www.sergedenimes.com Words Grace Williams Design Tanya Yilmaz NERVE 22

“Vintage denim jackets, bold statement glasses and his trademark jewellery adorned with skulls”

“

Vintage denim jackets, bold Statement glasses and his trademark jewellery adorned with skulls

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ENTREPRENEUR

SHACKING UP

Inspired by his own experiences, BU student Ben Oakenfull has launched Uni Shack - a website to help other students considering local properties. Viki Richards gets the lowdown

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e’re now all fast approachway. If that’s not enough, you can But important as students opinions ing the time where we have find Uni Shack on Facebook and Twitare, Ben acknowledges that the landto start looking for accomter and an app is already being devellord might have a different story and modation for the next academic year oped for iPhone and Android – with in the interests of fairness, plans to – and it’s a tough world out there. all this going on, how does Ben find provide a facility whereby landlords Agency fees, house viewings and the time to actually do – you know – can log in and comment on their just who you’re going to live with can his degree? property. cause unnecessary stress on their "It really helps staying organised!

"A student may have a bad experiown - but wouldn’t it be nice to have My university work is quite heavy at ence, but if a landlord says I did x y a little extra peace of mind on such the moment as I’m in my final year, and z, I think it’s good to show both an expensive investment? so that takes priority. However I’m sides of the coin."

Worry not! Help is at hand in really passionate about Uni Shack, So, has Ben had any nightmare exthe form of so the majority of my spare time is periences with landlords Unishack. spent on that. I’m quite fortunate in the past?

Before we knew it we were com, a website that the business relies on user gen"Our landlord mistakthat allows erated content so most of my time is enly told us that our bin putting a £2,000 deposit students to spent on promotion and further site day was on a Tuesday, rate their hous- on a property we didn’t development." like good students we ing according Hard as it may be juggling his were putting our bins really know about to important entrepreneurial aspirations with out the night before. For aspects such his academic life, Ben’s effort and some reason they were as bedroom size, shop access, enthusiasm looks like it should never taken, it resulted in us having neighbourhood and the all important start paying off – and the best bit is overflowing bins, so under the cover dealings with the landlord. Additional that students everywhere be able to of darkness we filled our neighbours space to leave detailed comments benefit from it. bins with our rubbish. Only to be told elaborating on the experience in by that neighbour the house also helps add to the big the next day, that picture – and all to ease the process bin day was on a for other students looking for a place Thursday - and to call home. How thoughtful! there was no The idea comes from Bournemouth need for our late University’s own Ben Oakenfull, a night James Bond student of Business Information rubbish disposal Technology. Asked where the idea antics." came from, he explains that it was Ben aims to roll his own personal experience, a situthe idea out across ation many other students will be the UK, ensurfamiliar with. ing that students "The initial thought behind it was nationwide can when I went to find a house in second benefit from knowyear. We were quickly taken round a ing that little bit dozen houses and before we knew more about one it we were putting a £2,000 deposit of the most costly on a property we didn’t really know decisions they’ll about." make. Houses Finding little opportunity to inhave already been vestigate the house further due to rated and reviewed the chaos of differing timetables, in Bournemouth, organising housemates and the need Bristol, Sheffield to make a quick decision, Ben came and London – with Ben hopes to make life easier for students choosing upon the idea of Uni Shack. Hurrah! many more on the their future accommodation.

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UNISHACK.COM @Unishack

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Words Viki Richards Design Viki Richards

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T

here are very few players in English county cricket who have been tipped for greatness like Somerset’s Jos Buttler.

A gifted wicketkeeper batsman, Buttler made his first class debut for Somerset a day after his 19th birthday, represented England in the U19 World Cup in 2010 and received the prestigious Young Wisden Schools Cricketer of the Year award in the same year. Not a bad debut year by any means.

Buttler has become almost the best well-kept secret in the county game with die-hard fans telling as many people as possible to watch out for the big hitting finisher, acting as the understudy to the more well-known Craig Keiswetter.

"It’s good to know. It must mean I’m doing something right. I’ve been putting in good performances for Somerset especially in one day cricket so it’s good to know you’re rated but at the same time it doesn’t help you score runs or anything like that. It gives you confidence but you’ve still got to put in the hard work to make sure you carry on scoring runs and taking catches."

Buttler has since made his name in the limited overs game representing the senior England team in both One Day International and Twenty20 games. But it wasn’t the dream start that many had envisaged as the young man scored a two ball duck in his ODI debut against Pakistan and then didn’t get a chance to bat in three of his first

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four Twenty20 matches.

"It was obviously disappointing to have your debut and then score a duck and on my 20/20 debut I didn’t get to bat so it was a little bit anticlimactic, but that’s just how cricket goes.

It’s good to be part of teams that win and it’s a fantastic achievement [to play for England] and one I’m really proud of. Even though they didn’t go to plan or how I imagined I’m still very proud of those moments."

Buttler continued to show his class for Somerset in the next two years with the highlight being a string of excellent performances in the Twenty20 Champions League in India. He batted against cricketing heavyweights such as Lasith Malinga and Jacques Kallis, leading Somerset to an impressive semi- final place considering their small budget compared to their opponents.

Despite his excellent county form, we were still waiting for the innings that fans had been waiting for Buttler to produce in an England shirt. He finally announced himself in spectacular style last August scoring 32 runs off just one over, the second highest total in International Twenty20 history against South Africa in August.

"It was my best day in an England shirt definitely. It was really pleasing, I needed to put in a good performance and I could take a lot of confidence from it."

Thanks to his brutal innings, Buttler was

selected to represent England at the Twenty20 world cup in Sri Lanka earlier this year. With England the reigning champions, hopes were high of a repeat performance and another amazing moment in the legendary 2012 summer of sport. Unfortunately it was not to be for England’s young side and Buttler.

They were knocked out in the Super 8’s losing to Sri Lanka and West Indies with Buttler’s top score only reaching 15. Spin was once again the downfall of an English side playing abroad.

"20/20 provides different opportunities at different times. Sometimes you don’t get to face as many balls as you would want in the middle order. You know I’m quite hard on myself; there’s always room for improvement. I don’t think I performed brilliantly. Now, I’m still young so I’ll keep working to improve and hopefully I’ll get a chance to get another crack at it at some point.

"As a team we were a little bit disappointed. We had high hopes going there as defending champions and we just came up short in a couple of games.

The West Indies are an excellent side and deserved winners. I think they were a lot of people’s favourites with the quality they had and the excitement they brought to the tournament, so there’s no shame in losing to those two sides. But obviously we’re disappointed because we wanted to be in that position.

"It was tricky. Foreign conditions suit different players differently and obviously its foreign conditions for English players, it’s not what we’re brought up on. With the way the ECB works they run a lot of camps out to India and I went to one in November last year. So we’ll still keep working hard to try and get better."

Although the disappointment of losing is never easy to get over, Buttler still achieved a lifetime ambition that any young cricketer dreams about - to play in a senior global tournament.

"It was incredible, [an] amazing atmosphere. Now I’ve got home and taken a step back it’s like that realisation that I’ve actually played in a world cup and

as a boy you dream about those sorts of things. It was quite a proud moment."

After a quick break, Buttler will soon be back in international action flying out to India for the limited overs tour taking place next month. Buttler knows it will be tough, judging by the Indian media’s thirst for revenge over what happened to India the last time they took on England in a prolonged tour. It will also give Buttler the chance to play with Kevin Pietersen for the first time after the controversial batsman was welcomed back into the side after his well-documented exile. Buttler though is optimistic about the tour.

"Obviously it’s going to be a tough tour. [Playing] India in India is always a great challenge for any cricket team. But it’s an exciting time for English cricket and I’m sure we’ll do really well.

I think he’s one of England’s best cricketers and I think England need him to be playing international cricket. They’re all professional and I’m sure they’ll get on with the job and welcome him back into the team."

Although he’s played in a world cup and won numerous awards, there is one thing Buttler wants on his international cricket CV that still eludes him; a test cap. Even though he’s made his name as a limited overs specialist, this grounded but driven young man is determined to get it.

"I’m very ambitious to play test cricket at some point in my career. I think it’s still the pinnacle of cricket and I think we’ve seen that with some great series recently. It’s very healthy for English cricket that there’s a lot of talent in the wicketkeeper batsmen role with Matt Prior, Jonny Bairstow and others. England has got a lot of strength in depth and there’s a lot of talent coming through county cricket as well. I’ve got a long to go before that can happen.

"I need to prove I can score runs in championship cricket which is something I haven’t done yet and that’s something I’ll be working on throughout the next year."

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COMMENT

Divorcing British politics: Why the marriage between political parties and the electorate is worth saving

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he British political party system has many flaws, but like every other man-made institution, it is inevitable. Parties have met numerous crises throughout history and have overcome them, proving their versatility and the support they enjoy.

None of these crises however, should concern politicians more than the decline in party membership, which has eaten away at the core infrastructure of party organisation. As it stands, just over 1% of the British electorate are members of political parties, which is a huge shift from the political environment in the fifties and sixties, where most of the electorate had ties with a local party.

There are several reasons why party affiliation is in decline. The first being the negative opinion that many people still have of politics, MPs and political parties. With the stream of scandal emerging out of Westminster over the past few years, trust has dipped to a new low and this has led to a widespread sense of disillusionment with the system.

Voters ask themselves why they would want to vote for a party that works as a mechanism in a corrupt machine, and question even further, whether they want to join the party and become part of the machine.

Another reason is that politics has become distant and almost alien to the normal person. Where once, parties played a significant role in the social lives of the electorate, they are now present only on television, the radio and newspapers and on the propaganda slipped through our letterboxes at election time. The political class has become distinct; a group of people divorced from wider society and who have become less relative and increasingly less relevant as they become increasingly politicised and ultimately, out of touch with the common man.

It is a simple fact that no matter how flawed the party system is, it still works. Without parties, it would be impossible for elected officials to organise themselves proportionally and effectively. The party system exists to serve the public interest, fulfilling core democratic functions. These include

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the aggregation of public interest, simplification and educated facilitation of electoral choice for citizens, facilitation of government and education of citizens.

The above functions should, in theory, lead to a satisfied democracy and engaged citizenship. This of course, is not the case in the UK at present and it can only be because the parties are not fulfilling their responsibilities. The reality is however, that a decline in party membership has spanned over 40 years and parties have become almost moribund.

The system needs to be reinvigorated and empowered again, but this is not an easy feat.

First, political parties need to scrap concerns with modernising and focus entirely on their past. To move forward, they need to distinguish themselves as separate, identifiable entities representing particular interests. Give voters a real choice in an election, and they will become inquisitive and the problem with educating citizens becomes less significant.

Parties need to focus on local politics and local issues, so that they can attract interest, build social capital and ensure they retain the trust of their direct electorate. The party needs to be perceived positively, and should capture the interest of all issues, be they local or national.

Specifically, parties need to identify with some assertion the need to educate about and facilitate the exploration of politics for young people, and most definitely students. Strategies to engage students more productively with parties will result in a cultural shift towards party affiliation, which can only be a good thing.

The party is in decline because politicians have allowed these institutions to become divorced from wider society; they have become unrepresentative and inaccessible. A more asserted effort into the open recruitment of members, inclusion in campaigns and opportunities for social engagement are among the potential solutions to curing this demise of membership, but a certainty is that it requires more than a recruitment drive. It requires an attitudinal and cultural transformation of the political party.

Words: John Gusman Communication & Media @johndavidgusman Illustration: Nathan Hackett AUCB Illustration Graduate

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politics has become distant and almost alien to the normal person

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PHOTO OF THE MONTH

SEND YOUR PHOTOS TO photo@nervemedia.org.uk NERVE 30

TRANQUIL COURSE

By Scott Morgan

"I took this in Porthmadog, Wales, experimenting with longer shutter speeds and it came out really nice, I love how it shows the dramatic movement of the water in a single shot."

How long have you been photographing for?

About 4 to 5 years What first interested you in photography?

I always took pictures with a small compact camera I had and I loved it then people started commenting and saying how good they were so I invested in an slr and it just went from there.

Camera of choice?

I love using Canon, so my camera at the moment is a Canon e1100d scottography.org facebook.com/ scottmorganphotography NERVE 31

CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

TH THIS MON WE ASK..

UCH M W O JUST H VE YOU LO S? A M T S CHRI

Q1

So, it’s late November and Slade’s Merry Xmas Everybody song pops up on your iPod – your reaction is...

A To involuntarily yell "ITTT’S CHRIIIIIIIIISTMAAAAAAS" at the top of your lungs. That festive playlist has been on loop since September anyway.

B Consider skipping – it’s not December just yet and this song is verging on mildly annoying now...

C Throw the iPod across the room (you’ll probably get a new one anyway) and conclude your Uncle Gilbert has been messing with your playlist again. It’s alright, you’ll spike his mulled wine and he’ll be asleep by 4.

D Ignore the fact Slade looks like a drunk hobbit and don your Santa hat to truly appreciate that festive spirit.

Q2

It’s time to think about the chaos that is Christmas shopping – how do you approach the annual predicament?

A How can people leave it so late? All your presents are done and dusted – all wrapped up, labelled and accounted for. Now you can watch on smugly as mum uses toilet roll to frantically finish up wrapping.

B Hit up Boots and buy everyone their yearly supply of shower gels and bath bubbles. A student budget doesn’t go far and no one can complain of smelling like a fragrant wonder on Boxing Day. C Because Christmas is just a big corporate tirade with materialistic kitsch, you decide to buy everyone a pessimistic sock set and be on your way.

D Start a little early with buying online and spread out gift buying to save the bank balance. You proactive thing you.

Q3

Settling down in front of the TV, there’s a vast array of movies on – which do you choose?

A The Snowman – the animation is just so touching and that soundtrack just makes you melt each year. You always wished you could go walking in the air too... *sob* Words Victoria Richards Design Toby Gray

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DO

Q4

B Despite absolutely no connection to Christmas, you just can’t get away from March of the Penguins, because it’s on EVERY year. Morgan Freeman narrating over a bunch of adorable penguins can’t be all bad though...

C Die Hard – if you MUST. But at least there are guns, bombs and terrorists in the shape of Alan Rickman. YIPPEE KI-YAY MOTHERFUCKER! D The Muppets Christmas Carol – really, you’d have liked something a little more traditional but it’s pretty funny and you know this’ll keep your whole family happy. That’s what matters after all!

Aaaand it’s Boxing Day - that’s Christmas dealt with for another year. How do you feel?

A Crestfallen. You can’t believe how quickly it comes and goes – Still, only 364 days until you can do it all again!

B Content - you got some pretty decent presents and there’s been no major dramas yet... after all the anticipation it’s nice to sit down and relax... or avoid that essay your lecturer set you. Damn it!

C Positively relieved and look forward to when all the tacky Christmas decorations will FINALLY leave the shops. At last, things will get back to normal again!

D Happy! There’s still a few days left to enjoy and hey, maybe you can check out the sales and nab yourself something with that voucher you got.

Q4

Who Are You? Mostly A’s Whoa there, you really love Christmas! Are you sure you’re not Santa himself? It’s great loving the holiday season and everything but you might want to calm it down a bit. Your friends may like the presents but maybe wait til December...

Mostly B’s You represent what is the reality for most students everywhere – Christmas is expensive, but you know how to have a laugh and join in. You seem to have a decent balance going on but you don’t have to worry so much! It’s only once a year after all.

Mostly C’s

You’re not an awful lot of fun to be around this time of year, are you Scrooge? Launching into rants about gift buying and an attitude that might make even Santa a little upset means you can take it a bit far sometimes. Accept that it WILL happen every year and try to make the best of it! It’s not that bad...

Mostly D’s Hurrah! Someone has got the right idea! You enjoy the festivities and take them as they’re intended – to spread a little cheer and fun. You’ve got a practical approach but throw yourself into the activities with consideration for others.

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BENJAMIN FRANCIS LEFTWICH W

ith a critically acclaimed debut which made it to number 35 in the album charts, a collaboration with Mike Skinner and a tour of America on the horizon, it hasn’t been a bad 12 months for Benjamin Francis Leftwich.

After a whirlwind summer of festival slots and what sounded like an epic first night of his October tour in Brighton, Benjamin Francis Leftwich looked surprisingly fresh faced considering this intense routine of playing and partying.

"We did about 20 [festivals] this summer, pretty much every weekend ‘til September. Green Man festival was really good - it’s one of those festivals where everyone goes there to listen to music, not like T in the Park or something like that when all it takes is the wrong time and you get a bit of a weird old crowd."

But it wasn’t all work and no play over the summer, aside from playing his own music it seems like an adequate amount of time was devoted to watching other artists and interacting with his fans. "We were doing these campsite gigs around people’s tents for the fans, through a competition on Facebook and Twitter so that was kinda cool. We met some nice people, occasionally it was really weird just sat round with loads of lads drinking Stella at 3 o-clock in the morning!"

From a host of 20 festivals, you’d think it would be a challenge to pick a favourite act from the season, but a lightning fast response of "Tallest Man On Earth" makes it clear that this is one of BFL’s favourite artists of the moment. "He was really good at Green Man and played an amazing set. A really nice dude as well, I met him once and was like *jaw drops* - he’s just really really good."

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Laura Eley chats with the talented singer-songwriter about summer festivals, his UK tour, drinking Stella with strangers and his excessive love of Berocca

ENTS

“

even if an artist has written a song about a frog breaking into a Yakult bottle or something, to you it’s about the start of a journey, and that in itself is true Festival shows every weekend, in slurry of mud and rain and surrounded by greasy food doesn’t sounds like the healthiest of tours... "I try to look after myself a bit. I’ve been cutting back on smoking, eating a balanced diet trying to sleep well and consuming lots of Berocca!" So on a showerless, yep SHOWERLESS tour van loaded with Berocca and from what I could see, lots of beer and diet coke – so much for a healthy diet.

Such enthusiasm radiates from the young musician as he speaks of his earlier influences- including The Beatles and Bruce Springsteen- that he exudes a genuine passion for music that this industry is beginning to lack. "I just love songs, I’m not bothered about what genre or about being hipster, if a song gets you there it totally takes you over. The beautiful thing about a song, I think, is you listen and you take what you want from it – even if an artist has written a song about a frog breaking into a Yakult bottle or something, to you it’s about the start of a journey and that in itself is true."

The idea of taking a song and making it your own proves to have been influential on the Yorkshire-born singer’s own songwriting, with an album drawing from wide metaphors of boats, harbours and the sea. "The first album I wrote between the ages of 17-20 so there’s a level of ambiguity to it and not knowing where I was going to go. I think the sea is one of those things that’s bigger than you and you don’t know what’s going to happen if you get in and swim."

Growing up near the Yorkshire coastline, the 23 year old had aspirations to go to University before a series of small gigs in his home town and a few demo tracks picked up by Radio 1 turned him into the new hype. "I wanted to go to uni for a while but I demo’d loads of stuff at home and did loads of small

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gigs in Yorkshire for whoever I could. I recorded an EP and more people liked it than I thought, so I did another and an album, and people just got into it. I got a place at Sussex Uni to do international relations- I didn’t know anything about it and wanted to study something I don’t know about – but I deferred it so I think I might have a place coming up that I’m meant to be starting this week.

Unfortunately I don’t think I’m gonna be able to make it." That might just be the understatement of the year.

Any tips for aspiring musicians on breaking into the industry? "Don’t think about the industry, nowadays there’s so many ways to do it yourself. My advice would be to write songs that you really care about and are 100% proud of. Share them with people, do as many gigs as possible and spend your time writing songs, going out and getting inspired – don’t waste time on making the Facebook fantasy."

It’s a wonder how BFL has managed to cram in penning a new set of songs for an EP which he hopes will be "ready to go probably before Christmas and then a new album in the New Year when I’ve slept for two weeks and get some time off to write it."

When asked to describe his sound in three words, after a very long contemplative pause he finally responds "really, really chilled." So there you go, even with his recent covers EP release, a tour of America and Canada on the horizon, and a new album being penned as we speak, he still manages to convey that calm sense of unpretentious ambition. "I still feel like we haven’t achieved much yet, we’re still at the beginning of the journey as it were." I feel those uni plans of his will definitely have to go on hold for a few years! So in the words of his last album, maybe this really is just the Smoke before the Snowstorm.

Words Laura Eley Design Toby Gray NERVE 35

R E V I E W E D Skyfall

23/10/12, By Ben Tyrer Happy Birthday James; 50 years is a big milestone and you couldn’t have asked for a better present than Skyfall.

Judi Dench’s M is being blamed for a lost hard-drive containing details of every NATO agent embedded in terrorist organisations, and 007’s operation to get it back doesn’t go according to plan. It would be easy to assume you know what you’re getting with Skyfall, but this isn’t a typical a Bond film. Sam Mendes, who directed the beloved American Beauty, has used his time in the director’s chair to explore the psychological damage that Bond has endured over 23 films.

On top of the film’s more meditative side, it also delights in twisting every Bond convention it can think of, and the actors respond to this thrilling experiment in kind.

Craig is magnificent as ever, subtly evoking the scars on Bond’s psyche while dispensing quips with ease - while Javier Bardem’s psychotic villain will be remembered for years to come. It’s Judi Dench who steals the film though, as a pivotal figure to the story. Skyfall stands head and shoulders over the majority of this year’s blockbusters. James Bond will return and it can’t come soon enough.

The Blackout

The Old Fire Station 24/10/12, By Joshua Iredale

The Old Fire Station was full of energy as Welsh rockers The Blackout played an hour and a half of pure madness.

The new single Start the Party was the first on the list, getting the crowd up and bouncing from the start. If they weren’t mental enough, the band would stop between songs to provoke them. "We were in Leeds last night, and they were much better than this" Sean would shout to an angry crowd.

Playing tracks from all their albums; highlights included The Storm and Children of the Night, which pleased hardcore fans.

Josh Franceschi from You Me at Six was not there to help perform I Don’t Care, so instead the band used the audience to give them a hand. They ended with favourite Higher and Higher and left with Sean showing a middle finger to the crowd. A great gig if you don’t mind dancing in a sweaty room and losing your voice in the process.

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Death of a Model Citizen

The Winchester Pub 01/11/12, By Benedict Lombe

Though initially sceptical of how the 70-minute monologue would sustain interest, from this moment on, the suddenly spellbound audience lose any ability to disengage from John Foster’s dark, thought-provoking tale of the unrelenting, false characterisation of the victim of a murder.

While Foster’s poetic words wash over the audience, Jon Samuel dazzles as the ghost of Miles Trehearn, recounting the vicious scene of his murder followed by, arguably, the even more vicious actions by society that shadowed him in death.

Samuel is riveting – the growing look of insanity in his eyes, as he takes a trip down memory lane at the scene of his murder – taking the audience with him and refusing to let them go.

The concluding scene with Miles imparting the false statements from the public about how much of a great man he was, a ‘model citizen’ presents an interesting concept. A thoughtprovoking piece. Theatre at its finest.

ENTS

Ed Sheeran

Rick Astley

The lovable singer-songwriter kicked off the evening with his next single off of his album +, Give Me Love. He’s the ultimate crowd pleaser, from his soulful cover of Nina Simone’s Be My Husband and traditional folk song Wayfaring Stranger to rapping in You Need Me, I Don’t Need You. Perhaps one of the most admirable parts of the evening was his ability as one man to silence the packed out BIC. Despite how desperate girls and boys alike wanted to shower Ed in proposals, the popular man hushed the masses, changing the atmosphere entirely from what was a massive performance, to what felt like a special intimate venue.

No one in the crowd was under 40, which makes sense though, right? He was big three decades ago after all. However, after having heard enough songs from the 80s whilst everyone was waiting for him to come on, he started off by singing a couple of songs from his first album, dispelling any rumours that the gig would be ‘cheesy’.

Bournemouth BIC 21/10/12, By Charlotte Gay

A brilliant Sunday night for under £25, and I will certainly be looking forward to the tour that follows the next album.

Comedy Nation

The Old Fire Station 25/10/12, By Heloise Burland

When he came on stage, you couldn’t hear yourself think through the screaming of all the women in the room being taken back to their youth. As for his new music, though a slightly older generation may argue, it really does fit the brief for what you would expect nowadays, without going over the limit. His new music isn’t a let-down, it’s actually (sorry again for the surprise) really very enjoyable.

Rick Astley is back, and he is better than he has ever been.

Lee ‘Scratch’ Perry

The Old Fire Station 01/11/12, By Tom Beasley

The Old Fire Station 03/11/12, By Bryony Diplock

He was followed by the youthful charisma of Ivo Graham, channelling Simon Amstell to produce hilarious social awkwardness, and Pierre Novellie, making the audience view The Lion King from a totally unique angle. Headliner Jeff Leach took the roof off with his deeply personal and frank routine about sex and drug addiction. He spliced this with a toe-curling account of a rectal examination and a borderline sexual assault of an audience member that delighted the crowd more than it probably should’ve done.

The few who weren’t aware of Lee Perry and The Upsetters performing, but expecting a normal Dub Optic night were awed by his spiritual presence and performance. He continued to play an hour after his set, coming off stage, leaving then coming back in for a few more songs was the highlight for everybody inside, without a doubt. This was a highlight of the year at the Old Fire Station, and a performance never to be forgotten.

Comedy Nation rolled in to the Old Fire Station once again on November 1st. Students nursing their Halloween hangovers were treated to four great acts. Compére Mike Belgrave brought the charm and looks of a jovial homeless man – a concept Bournemouth residents are all too familiar with – as he warmed up the crowd.

To my surprise, many people in the crowd at Dub Optic were of the older generation, but you could see Lee ‘Scratch’ Perry’s presence touched them the most. Perry is one of the founding fathers of the dub and reggae scenes, and working alongside Bob Marley to critical acclaim since the 1970s, he’s a man that doesn’t follow trends- he sets them.

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ENTS

2012 review

Words Nerve team Illustration Charlotte Gay Cover Art Grant Corlett

With the greatest modern Olympics in history, a Diamond Jubilee, mummy porn, space jumps and a crazy Korean pop star, 2012 has been one to remember. We take a look at the best bits to celebrate surviving the end of the world

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2012 REVIEW

TV PICKS

By Ben Tyrer

Homeland S1E1 (The Weekend) shows, and this of the year’s best TV Homeland is easily one lity to easily abi ’ ies ser the sed showca thriller. The first season episode and ma dra ter rac nse cha within its transition between inte but sts twi t ges e had the big the turbuWeekend may not hav for se wca sho l a phenomena forty minutes we got eland essential TV. Hom de ma has t tha p lent relationshi Olympic Opening Ceremony s being paraded Not really, the athlete Was it good television? ses was a bit misnur the h wit bit the was as dull as ever and ny Mr. Bean, an o gave us a warmly fun guided, but then it als Arctic Monkeys the and ce ran ent t Bond unexpectedly brillian was a moment ony em Cer g nin er. The Ope slightly bossing a Beatles cov to es nag ma n eve forget, it l that was that few who saw it will Jessie J nightmare fue and de San ile Em redeem the . ony em the closing cer Breaking Bad t masquerades huge glut of sewage tha It’s easy to bemoan the kes it all worthwhile. ma Bad ng aki Bre but as TV at the moment shores this year son finally reached our The third and fourth sea disturbing and g pin grip s, riou the hila via Netflix, continuing meth to raise ks coo who r che tea riddled drama about a cancer US show on right Better than any other money for his family. defined 2012 for Bad ng Men – Breaki now – yes, including Mad TV addicts.

BEST BOOKS

By Tom Beasley

50 Shades Of Grey - EL Jam es First on the list for being absolutely eve rywhere rather tha actually being any n good, this was the unavoidable literar juggernaut of the yea y r, despite being wri tten by a teenager who had accidenta lly seen some porn once. Every swimmi pool this summer wa ng s surrounded by cop ies of 50 Shades as, for some reason, BD SM pornography sud denly became acceptable public rea ding material for mi ddle-aged women.

The Casual Vacancy - JK Rowling JK Rowling returned to the world of fiction writing this year wit her first post-Potter h release. In an effort to make it as far fro her phenomenon as m possible, she replac ed wizards and wands with sex and swearing , annoying a tonne of literary critics in the process. Fans see med to like it though and it was definitely the biggest book rele ase of the year, even if some bloke with cable ties outsold it.

Mack The Life - Lee Mack Following on from the last few years’ slew of comedy autobiographies comes this warm, funny tale fro m everyone’s favour Northerner - exclud ite ing Peter Kay and Jas on Manford. And Parkinson. Mack fee ls like he was born for the pun in the title and his trademark fun ny bone runs throug h the entire book as he fires anecdotes like a machine gun of wit .

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BEST OF THE YEAR

BREAKTHROUGH ACTS By laura eley

Alt - J managed to grab a Mercury This quartet have not only e m An Awesome Wave but hav albu ut Music Prize their deb call they re gen ical mus up also created a new hacked mer fesearing at numerous sum ‘alternative folk-step’. App single first r afte ws sho UK t of tivals and selling out a hos phenomenon, Alt-J seem hate love a rked spa ocks Breezebl -whether in to fit everyone’s taste to have wormed their way or weird synth-spangled ns croo y folk ting mel you’re into percussion.

Jessie Ware undervocal with glittering dubstep Producing beautifully rich scene in 2011 the onto t burs er writ ong tones, this young singer-s ed album releasing Mercury nominat on SBTRKT’s debut before Radio 1 on eam nstr mai the into Devotion in October. Bursting , her progression is proving year this ier earl 110% le with sing am of release Night Light and a stre unstoppable with further re + Delilah with more losu Disc k Thin s. date November tour reverb and attitude.

GAMES

Jake Bugg ed off Dylan and Johnny Cash, topp With comparisons to Bob for this year bad a been not it’s with a UK number 1 album, ntry tinged At only 18, he blends a cou Nottingham -born scamp. of ings lash in sed dou all guitar vocal twang with flawless ut is s and 50’s swagger. His deb tnes aler hful yout nce, it confide age arrogance and piecing teen y guts ting twis ten, a must-lis ut love, cigarettes abo ks trac ect perf and into 14 pure and alcohol.

By BEN TYRER

Max Payne 3 Max Payne might have spent too much time with its deliberately glitchy cut scenes, but it’s gloriously violent set-pieces haven’t been matched by any other action games this year.

Definitely cinematic, with a lead character that is loveably nihilistic, manages to feel like pulpy B-cinema that you can’t help but love.

Bastion Yeah, it was released in 2011 for Live and Steam, but it also got a re-tweaked and re-worked iPad and iPhone edition this year, which opened it up to a whole new market. It’s a delightful RPG in the mould of 90’s classics like Chrono Trigger or Final Fantasy, except with the twist that the narration reacts to your actions. An indie masterclass.

Sleeping Dogs What it lacks in graphical polish, it more than makes up for in something every great game needs to have: Fun. Racing around Hong Kong in illegal races? Fun. Busting criminals with Kung-Fu super moves? Really fun. Slow-mo sliding over cover to grab eadshots? Mega fun times. You owe it to yourself to dive into this gem.

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2012 REVIEW

ALBUms you missed

By Adam trimby

hedelic rock) Howlin Rain - The Russian Wilds (Psyc cipated for years, and Howlin’ anti ly high been has m This albu a ed this year, playing around tour They nt. ppoi disa Rain did not blown away. Actually, were es ienc aud re whe pe, few places in Euro the drum it. Every note, every beat of blown away doesn’t quite cut The sheer genius in . does m albu the way e told a story in the sam ium. ained through a textual med their songwriting can’t be expl et it! regr not will you es, selv Simply go and listen for your

album (comedy rap with ukulele) Mr B The Gentleman Rhymer- The tweed sical circuit, because of his whim val festi the on s riou noto Mr B is ing a ukulele. A man ‘straight wield st whil ic mus rap to approach Westwood ol with none other than Tim outta Surrey’, also went to scho . Check it out, entertainhim t abou song little ky and wrote a chee start to Mr B keeps you laughing from ment of the highest caliber!

‘Chap Hop’ and how of n ntio inve his t abou s finish, literally. With song all the will be grinning from ear to ear ‘rummy’ his days can be, you way through.

MOVIES

swing) Tape Five - Swing Patrol (electro comes to a e and more popular as 2012 Electro swing is getting mor for the genre is the mighty Tape ts artis ing lead the of one close, and anyone a dance floor and I challenge Five. This album screams for any of these tracks drop. n whe go the on tap toe to not get a little references for me because of its swing Geraldines Routine is a highlight ty sure I Spy You pays pret I’m Also ers.

Rodg er to Fred Astair and Ging g tune is can do that to an electro swin homage to 007, anyone that alright by me.

By TOby Gray

Looper on Rotten Tomatoes, Rian John With an aggregate score of 92% ssins (dubbed loopers) from the assa t abou fi – sci dible incre son’s the future had to be on this list. past ordered to carry out hits for chemistry between Joseph the and y lexit comp the ise, The prem e Willis is beautifully Bruc self e futur his and t Gordon – Levit Willis’ imposed face over with ttling unse tly sligh executed (if not asses anything else surp y nalit origi pure its Levitt’s by CGI) and we’ve seen this year.

The Cabin in the Woods aka predictable box office flop, Joss Despite suffering somewhat of a director Drew Goddard created a time 1st and on Whed gers’ Aven ‘Mr. ctay road to cult infamy. Deconstru meta-horror-comedy on a one-w r movie trope in the book, the horro every ly near ising satir ing and sell , distributors were even forced to film is so ambitiously self-aware shocking scenes, dark inely genu With e. movi er slash it as a generic the moment to informed genre fans, comedy gems and nods at every it. love but help n’t nerds in us just could Skyfall ds in just 12 days, anticipation for Smashing 2012’s box office recor for four years and after the Bond’s latest film has been rife to Solace, we really needed this one disappointment of Quantum of grossing Bond of all time and is est high the dy alrea is ll Skyfa deliver. vulnerability has never been so like no other in the franchise. His we’ve come to love, with a gadget ity ortal imm sleek evident and his slowly fading out, and Bond’s is sion, occa and a woman for every em as our outstanding cyber Bard r Javie becoming more real. With the bar for Bond has been line, story ant terrorist, and a truly relev reset, and it’s mighty high.

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BEST OF THE YEAR

ALBUMS

By BEN TYRER

Bloc Party - Four bers of Bloc is remarkable. All the mem The fact that Four exists e pursuing and wer they ects proj own r thei Party bar Matt Tong had a permanent one. n bee e hav ld wou us most had thought their hiat in a rich vein that Four finds the band It’s a pleasant surprise then ter ethereal ligh and ems anth ar gy guit of form. A mixture of grun on what Bloc and weakness will depend ballads, Four’s strengths ossible not to listen to this imp ost alm it’s but er, Party you pref ss your face. and have a smile creep acro Frank Ocean - Channel Orange le the build-up in the arm for hip-hop. Whi Channel Orange was a shot notes where Ocean ve slee the over ersy trov was overflowing with con onal, flowing the album itself was sensati revealed he was bisexual; and confulove lost of s lyric ful pain s and between smooth melodie monoute min ten a , ning stun s remains sion. Centre-piece Pyramid y. antl inst ks hoo and songs for one logue that seems like two Passion Pit - Gossamer s and tunes ction of electro pop melodie Gossamer is a fantastic colle ing any other pop album topp h muc ty pret e, styl that shimmer with et. Gossamer hooks you just couldn’t forg of the year when it came to ’s struggle with man a of n ictio dep g owin is also a dark and often harr n that makes rder. It’s this juxtapositio alcoholism and bipolar diso le this year sing r othe no us, bon a and as Gossamer as vital as it is, ht.

Alrig Be I’ll of ncy urge has matched the sugar rush

Man & moment of the year?

By Kath Mathews

This September, K-Pop video ‘Gangnam Style’ by South Korean rapper PSY graced us with its fresh, catchy sound, as well as also giving us an innovative iconic hand-flicking dance (don’t lie, you’ve been doing it). Within the first week of release it had 816,000 downloads and by December the video had nearly 800 million views on YouTube (and counting). PSY is already a massive star in Korea, but this has propelled him to worldwide fame. Is it a one hit wonder? Only time will tell, but you can be sure that even though you might not remember the words, you won’t be forgetting the dance any time soon!

VIEW THE FULL LISTS AT WWW.NERVEMEDIA.ORG.UK NERVE 43

2012 REVIEW

FLASHBACK

A look back at the biggest events and new stories of 2012.

Cue inspirational music

June 2nd - 5th The Queens Diamond Jubilee By Claire Martin Credit: MOD

The weekend of the 2nd to 5th June saw international celebrations for Queen Elizabeth II’s Diamond Jubilee. Thousands of beacons were lit across the Commonwealth and several receptions were held in London. A Jubilee concert also took place with performances from pop stars such as Kylie Minogue and Sir Elton John, with 12,000 members of the public watching from The Mall. Street parties took place all over the UK and many people felt the occasion gave the country a chance to forget about the misery of the economy, and instead offered a chance to celebrate together.

July 27th London 2012 Olympics By Tara May Cox Credit: LOCOG

Everyone will remember 2012 as the year of the sport. Great Britain scooped 29 gold medals in the Olympics and 34 in the Paralympics. Viewers saw Mo Farah cross both the 5,000 and 10,000 metre finish lines in first place, and saw Jessica Ennis scoop the gold medal in the heptathlon and gain the fastest ever time ran by aa British athlete. Not forgetting of course David Weir winning not one, but four golds in the Paralympics, and swimming superstar Ellie Simmonds receiving two gold medals and setting two new world record speeds in the process. Lastly, the Olympics and Paralympics opening and closing ceremonies, which celebrated courage, determination and inspired millions back into the world of sport.

Credit: NASA

August 25th Neil Armstrong dies By Nikhil Pikkay On 25th August, Neil Armstrong sadly passed away. He was a monumental figure in the history of space travel as forty-three years ago, Armstrong was the first man to step foot on the surface of the moon. On touchdown he uttered a phrase that resonates with every historical achievement to date. "That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind." Neil Armstrong will forever be immortalised as a pioneer in space travel and an inspiration for what we can achieve if we aim for the stars.

October 14th Space Skydive By Charlotte Gay Over 8 million people tuned into YouTube’s live stream to watch an Austrian man float gently up to the edge of space and jump out of his helium space balloon, plummeting back down to the Earth’s surface. It may sound like an elaborate suicide plot but Felix Baumgartner, or Fearless Felix as he’s nicknamed, free-falled for 24 miles southwards descending towards the ground at 834mph, making him the first man to break the sound barrier without any vehicular power.

Viewers could not deny that this was literally history in the making.

October 23rd Ceefax switches off By Tara May Cox Everyone is bound to remember Ceefax (phonetic for ‘see facts’) the world’s first information service via the much loved teletext button. Started in 1974 by the BBC, the service ran up until the 23rd October 2012 prior to the analogue TV service switch off the following day. Ceefax provided information on topics such as news, sport, TV listings, business and weather, and had 20 million viewers a week during the 1990’s. It was the last one standing to offer text service via analogue TV transmissions in the UK, and will not be replaced by the BBC Red Button.

As we’re sure many of you have heard the regular 2012 phenomenon announcements, this year is going to be the end of the world. For those of you who didn’t know, the apocalypse is due on December 21st. The doomsday date has been calculated using the Mesoamerican (Mayan) calendar and is regarded as the end date of a 5,125-yearlong cycle. It is important to take note that, although Mel Gibson is one of the celebrities preparing for the end of the world, it has not been accepted by mainstream experts, so don’t start panicking just yet.

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Credit: Kara Brugman

21st December End of the Mayan calender By Charlotte Gay

Design Joshua Iredale

Kevin Pietersen certainly brings the ‘personality’ into cricket. A game that consistently fails to illuminate itself amongst the controversyfilled world which is sport, cricket hardly attracts much bravado. But Pietersen was determined to put an end to that this year.

I mean, sending abusive text messages about your captain and teammates to opposition players is hardly something which Cricket has grown accustomed to. Some may call in stupid, but I call it entertainment, something which cricket can lack at times. For the first time in a long time, cricket jumped to the forefront of sporting conversation and began to draw debate and harbour back-page space for days on end. Stupidity? Or the lift that the sport needed?

The 32-year-old is undoubtedly one of the country’s best batsmen but he is also the most controversial and for me has definitely been sport’s personality of the year.

He has been a victim of ridicule for English football fans, the butt of most football jokes and a legend for lack of ability. He is Newcastle Jets’ new number nine: Emile Heskey. But since moving to Australia to ply his trade, Emile has had the status of a hero. As a marquee signing, Emile’s shirt sold out within minutes. His signing caused 2,000 more season tickets to bought.

He’s even had an Australian broadcaster create ‘Heskeycam’ – 90 minutes of coverage capturing everything Heskey did – or did not – do during one of the Jets’ matches.

Emile’s already had the better of another of the A-League marquee signings: Alessandro Del Piero.

The former Liverpool striker scored his first goal for the Jets in a 3-2 win over Del Piero’s Sydney FC. Emile deserves this award – not for his footballing ability – but his extraordinary methods of convincing the Australian public that he’s a bit of a big deal.

Amongst the amazing 29 gold medals won by Team GB, Peter Wilson’s gold in the double trap shotgun shooting might be one of those that is somewhat forgotten by the general public. Not me though. What makes Wilson special for me is that Wilson not only conquered the sporting aspect of the Games but he also embraced the other side of the Olympics like nobody else in Team GB. Whilst other athletes tried to sugar coat the fact they would be having a few drinks in celebration, Wilson just came out and said ‘I’m going to get absolutely wasted.’

He immediately did so with a four day drinking binge that even freshers would be proud of, became Team GB’s resident party animal and he hasn’t picked up a gun since. Add that to the fact he’s coached by a Dubai sheikh and is ex Bournemouth University and what more could you ask for.

NERVE 45

SPORT

men’s and women’s hockey T

orn ligaments, broken bones, black eyes and scabby knuckles are all in a day’s work for the members of Bournemouth University’s Hockey Club. Hockey is not a sport for the faint hearted.

Speaking to Nick Fletcher, club president, it appears BUHC is set for a stellar season as all four teams, two men’s and two women’s, stand in great contention of being promoted. "This year, BUHC is able to boast itself as one of the largest affiliations of sportBU, with it being the only varsity sport which coincide both male and female teams closely under one club."

Ladies Captain, Sophie Kirkwood-Jones agrees, adding: "We have been fortunate enough to get a large influx of talent this season which has enabled us to get off to a winning start. The girls are all dedicated to progressing as a team and working towards a promotion. I have high hopes for us this year!"

Finishing third in their league last season, the women’s team are hoping to build on their successes with the help of coach, Clive Nelson who has drummed up an eye watering regime to kick start the dream. So far so good as the team are currently second with an impressive goal difference after two league games sitting third in the Western 2A division.

"This year we have been fortunate enough to have a great intake of freshers who have demonstrated a high level of playing ability; all have integrated well into the BUHC set up as they

NERVE 46

get to know the returning squad members," says Fletcher.

"Our first year players have adapted well to the commitments that being a varsity member requires from them, including; attending biweekly strength and conditioning sessions, hockey training sessions, as well as beach runs on a Monday night."

Following the Olympics where hockey turned out to be a massive crowd pleaser, thrilling fans including The Duchess of Cambridge, the profile of the sport has undoubtedly been raised.

Following the bronze medal won by the women’s squad, trials this year for the teams were overwhelmed by many a would be Crista Cullen, some of whom had never played a single game of hockey but had been inspired by London 2012.

BUHC are also amongst the many Uni teams who make the yearly pilgrimage abroad for the sports tour. Social secretary Stéphan calls it the highlight in both the sporting and social calendars, "It’s the best opportunity you’ll have at uni to go on holiday with your mates, play hockey, enjoy the sunshine and create a lasting legacy for yourself within the team. [The] tour is definitely un-missable for any BUHC member."

So, as the season gets fully underway BUHC are set for a highly promising year, stepping out of the shadows and into the mainstream arena, this is the squad to watch.

Words Georgia Naden Design Joe Tattersall

NERVE 47

FRAMEWORK FOR

THE FUTURE

NERVE TALKS TO AFC BOURNEMOUTH

YOUTH COACH ROSS EMBLETON WORDS: CRAIG RODHOUSE DESIGN: JOE TATTERSALL

R

oss Embleton, a man that AFC Bournemouth fans will probably know very little about but a man whose current work is providing the framework for future success at Dean Court.

Embleton was appointed as the Cherries’ new youth team manager during the summer, and oversees the whole of youth development at the club, from under 9’s to under 18’s.

This is nothing new for a man that has worked at grassroots level for the whole of his career, having previously enjoyed spells with Leyton Orient and Tottenham.

"It’s a passion. I started working in primary schools and summer camps and it’s something that I’ve got a real interest in.’ said Embleton.

‘The interesting thing for me is working daily with the boys that are working towards a fulltime career in football.

"Anybody will look back on their own individual careers and see what’s been important and working with kids at grassroots level is definitely my interest."

Although Embleton has only occupied the position at the Goldsands Stadium since the summer, the first team are already being to reap the rewards of the hard work that Embleton has immediately undertaken.

Youngsters Josh Wakefield and Josh Carmichael – both of whom come from Embleton’s development squad – have already broken through into the first team this season and Embleton believes that the pair are definitely names that Cherries’ supporters should be looking out for in the future.

"At the beginning of the season Josh Wakefield NERVE 48

would be one of the players that are flagged up to say that he’s been a success story straight away.

"He’s got a long way to go before he establishes himself but it’s what the job is therefore and it’s what youth development is there for. Joe Partington plays in the first team now and he came from the youth set-up and this year you’ve got Josh Wakefield and Josh Carmichael who have really kicked on and managed to get themselves into the first team.’

"Now you want them to continue being the good characters that they are. They’re both good players but a big part of success now for young players is the type of characters that they are.

They’ve got a long way to go before they’re the finished article by any stretch but having got to know both the lads since I’ve been here, I think they’ve both got a good chance to progress."

Despite these very early visible successes in his Bournemouth career, Embleton has had to endure a rocky start to life on the south coast.

The man who initially hired him, Paul Groves, has now been replaced by Eddie Howe but Embleton remains confident that Howe will continue where Groves’ left off with regards to youth development at the club.

"It’s unfortunate that I’ve not had a chance to speak to Eddie Howe or Jason Tindall yet but from what I’ve been told from people that have worked with them in the past, they’re good types of people in terms of looking at what’s coming through the club. I’m sure over a period of time they’ll pay that little bit of interest and look at what we’re doing and the types of players that are coming through."

EDDIE HOWE RETURNS

TO BOURNEMOUTH WORDS: DAN WELLING

I

f there was one man who could re-ignite every AFC Bournemouth fan’s spirits it would be the modern day Messiah of Dean Court, Eddie Howe. Only Harry Redknapp is held in higher regard amongst the Cherries’ faithful and judging by his first month in charge, their faith has not been misplaced.

After the sad but necessary dismissal of Paul Groves in October, whispers of a return for Howe were already beginning and once the fans caught the scent that Eddie Mitchell and the board were looking into the possibility of bringing him back, there was only one man worthy of the job, for the fans at least.

The compensation package may have been huge but on October 12th, Howe was back at his spiritual home after two years at Burnley.

Some of the media questioned why Howe would have wanted to take a step down from the Championship to League 1 – you certainly can’t argue that this isn’t anything other than a step down for Howe – but I’m certain this would be the only club Howe would have considered going back down a division for and with Maxim Denim, Howe is still with a club that has the money and ambition to challenge for promotion in the next two seasons.

On the pitch, the results speak for themselves. Seven games in charge, seventeen points won and all of them seem to point to a massive surge in belief in a previously disjointed squad.

An impressive 3-1 victory over then league leaders Tranmere, a huge 4-2 away victory at Carlisle and a dramatic 85th minute equaliser against Notts County after conceding just a minute earlier for a 3-3 draw. Such results would have been unthinkable under Paul Groves’ gallant but fruitless tenure.

Of course this could just be put down to the fabled ‘honeymoon period’ a new manager nearly always has at a new club but the transformation the Cherries have gone through since Howe came in is remarkable.

Under Groves, the squad had been fragmented and disrupted following the influx of summer signings and the constant chopping and changing of the starting XI in search of that elusive winning formula. Under Howe, 12 players have started in three games – and that was only because of suspension – stabilising the side and with 10 goals scored as well, the money invested in the strikers Tubbs, Barnard and Grabban finally looks as if it’s about to repaid.

There are still issues to be resolved for Howe such as a persistently leaky defence but the feel good factor that was missing from the Steve Fletcher stand since the beginning of the season is certainly back. Under Groves, the average attendance was 5,222 at Dean Court.

The attendance for the Leyton Orient match where Howe wasn’t even taking charge rose to 5,715 which increased by 500 people yet again for the Tranmere match. It’s impossible to know if these increased attendances will last especially if the cold weather hits the South coast but we all know what’s caused them.

With results and attendances getting better each week, it’s fair to say that Eddie Howe’s homecoming has been an amazing success. Maybe that playoff ambition isn’t totally out of reach after all?

NERVE 49

E H T N O P A SLA

WRIST IS

NOT ENOUGH

WITH ENGLAND DEFENDER DANNY ROSE THE LATEST VICTIM OF INEXCUSABLE BEHAVIOR NERVE’S BEN FISHER LOOKS AT THE PROBLEM OF RACISM IN FOOTBALL

I

t’s 2012. The world of football is enriched with multi-cultural players and is hugely diverse nowadays, yet thousands of football fans still discriminate individuals over the colour of their skin.

Fears that racism could ruin the Euro 2012 competition this summer in Poland and Ukraine were mostly contained - Mario Balotelli and a Dutch training session aside- however the most recent outburst of racist abuse as England Under-21’s tackled Serbia, in Belgrade, is frankly another major blow for everybody involved with football.

Especially those involved with the ‘Kick it Out’ campaign, established by the PFA, who have acted against racism in football for over 15 years.

Spurs’ left-back Danny Rose, currently on loan with Sunderland was targeted by Serbian fans and suffered from monkey-chanting throughout the England Under-21 qualifying clash despite the Serbian FA being fined in the summer of 2007 for similar abuse towards defender Nedum Onouha.

Although such a fine was irrelevant to Serbia’s governing football body, a shallow £16,500.

A melee of clashes on the pitch following the sending-off of Rose at the end of the match involving players and staff, has reignited concerns regarding racism in the game, at grassroots, national and international scales.

Rio Ferdinand, a patron for the ‘Stand Up Speak Up’ anti-racism campaign, has called for the FA to ‘get its own house in order,’’ after Prime Minister David Cameron labelled the behaviour in Belgrade as "appalling" and he has a very valid point.

Brother of Rio, Anton, was subjected to a torrent of racial abuse from the then England captain John Terry, in what led to a humiliating fall from international duty for the Chelsea defender.

NERVE 50

Uruguay and Liverpool striker Luis Suarez was handed an eight-game ban for racially abusing Patrice Evra, whilst Terry was given merely a fourgame suspension for insulting Ferdinand, both games which were in the English Premier League.

Ferdinand also tweeted that, "the only way to start stopping racism and violence in stadiums is by giving big bans for countries and players.

Fines mean nothing," outlining the financial arrogance that quite possibly rests with the likes of Terry, Suarez and Serbia - whom have been on the receiving end of futile punishments.

Chelsea dished out an in-house fine to their captain following his apology for his behaviour, yet it remains confidential. Therefore only the player and staff at the football club are aware of the consequences of such wrong-doing, once again making it too easy for too many individuals to snub the seriousness of discrimination.

Fellow Chelsea bad-boy Ashley Cole received a £90,000 fine for an offensive 140 character tweet towards the Football Association, a figure that cost him £642 per letter. But the real concern is that the FA fined the Blues’ left-back almost half of Terry’s £220,000 FA fine, supposedly determining racism as twice as bad as a petty outburst to David Bernstein at the FA. When compared with the £80,000 fine that Nicklas Bendtner received for a breach of sponsorship when he unveiled branded ‘PaddyPower’ underwear in celebration for Denmark this summer, the whole situation is indeed a farce.

President of FIFA, Sepp Blatter said "we must keep fighting to eradicate discrimination from our sport," following the unsavoury scenes in Belgrade. However given the toothless action taken by footballing bodies in the past, such as the FA and UEFA, it really is all too easy to see why

given the toothless action taken by footballing bodies in the past, such as the FA and UEFA, it really is all too easy to see why racism still exists racism still exists.

Such anger against the continued existence of racism in the biggest sport on the globe, was vented by Reading striker Jason Roberts who refused to wear the ‘Kick Racism Out of Football’ t-shirt whilst warming-up against Liverpool, in a protest against the lack of work that has been done to remove the issue from the sport.

As it turned out, it wasn’t just Roberts. An array of stars in the Premier League including the Ferdinand brothers, Manchester City defender Joleon Lescott and Stoke City striker Kenwyne Jones all opted out of wearing the cotton t-shirt.

The PFA have since unveiled a six-point plan to deal with racism in the game. The plan includes influences from America where the NFL promoted the ‘Rooney rule’ in 2003, to make sure qualified black coaches are on the shortlist for job vacancies.

Of course, such action has already been dented by the opinionated character that is Joey Barton. The suspended QPR midfielder, currently plying his trade in Ligue 1 with Marseille, claimed that Gordon Taylor, the PFA chief ought to step down, instead of creating such illustrious plans, after labelling the head of the PFA, "drunk on power".

Malicious attack aside, Barton may just have a point. The head of the PFA has allowed such racism to enter the game, almost freely, with poxy penalties the only outcome. Clubs and more players are also expected to aim fire at Taylor’s union, criticising the PFA’s role in football as well as the funding of the organisation.

The six-point plan is somewhat furry. The PFA claim that racism ‘could be a sackable offence’, but there should be no place for the modal verb in such a sentence.

The PFA’s other points however are more encouraging, highlighting the need to stay focussed on eradicating other major issues in the game, such as disability, gender and Islamophobia, all of which should equally be a non-event in today’s game.

Punishments must be difficult for teams and players to surmount otherwise the issue of racism will continually be ignored.

It’s time that the powers in the world of football, stamped down heavily on those in the wrong. Whether it’s big fines or big bans, action must be taken to prevent such alarming headlines being rewritten in the future.

Rio Ferdinand (left) was among a number of players to opt out of wearing the Let’s Kick Rasicm Out of Football T-shirt in protest of a percieved lack of action by the organisation.

After racially abusing Patrice Evra (right) Luis Suarez (left) received an 8 match ban.

John Terry lost the England Captaincy as a result of his racially abusing Anton Ferdinand.

NERVE 51

NERVE 52

LEE 'SCRATCH' PERRY Wicked Show at Dub Optic, excellent vibes as always.

I think it may have even topped last year’s performance at Sandbanks beach. How do you feel about the show?

This is the real one. The pirate was in charge, the pirate’s ship sinks, the pirate doesn’t have an adapter and the pirate doesn’t have any good surgeon, just the people that were following the pirate. God blessed it to rain, god burns with fire and he also blessed us with fire. So if you don’t want to have any age, do what me do. Stop smoking cigarette, because it is destruction to your lungs.

Stop eating meat; if you support life, life will support you.

Treat your heart with respect, when you smoke you do not respect yourself. It’s the air that you’re breathing.

What do you think of the air here in Bournemouth?

It’s fantastic. Everything comes from the sea, it’s life.

ENTS

Bryony Diplock caught up with one of the legendary founding fathers of reggae and dub music on his happiness and spirituality at age 76 I love how righteous you are in yourself.

Well, if you don’t love yourself you can’t be righteous.

You have to believe in yourself and do what you know you should do and everything you do that you know you should not do you know you’re going to get beaten. People send love and it comes back to them. People who do not recognize me feel the love and the love comes back to me. And they can laugh, that’s why, because they are happy. It wouldn’t be clever if they were sad.

Some people come here and they are like, ‘no! I expected to be happy and I am sad.’ These are the people who are not happy.

I couldn’t possibly understand why anyone would be sad after that phenomenal performance.

Dance for your justice. In front of the Jury! ha-ha-ha!

Thank you very much.

What’s next for Lee Scratch Perry?

Well, the people that follow Lee Scratch Perry will be safe by my records. Follow Scratch.

How do you feel after tonight?

Well if the people are happy with me, I am happy with them. We realise that we all know each other and our color makes no difference. You all know that I’m not white, or yellow, but you have no proof that this is black.

Does your music have a lot to do with your religious beliefs?

Everything. Music is your life, do what makes you happy and if I didn’t have music I would be bored forever and very unhappy. Music makes you exercise, makes you dance, makes you feel good and happy and so on.

You see people struggling and music changes their lives.

Words Bryony Diplock Design Bryony Diplock

NERVE 53

NERVE 54

ENTS The Blackout have made a name for themselves over the last few years with their hard rocking tunes, an exhilarating live show, and Sean Smith’s multi-coloured, ever-changing hair. James Hibberd caught up with Sean before their show at the Old Fire Station, and put some important, life-changing questions to him. Or maybe not...

Welcome to Bournemouth! Have you had much chance to look around?

Me and my friend Phil went to get sushi at Oishii Oishii. There are other sushi restaurants available in Bournemouth, but it was good. I had prawn tempura rolls and spider maki, which is a whole crab with the arms and legs sticking out. I love sushi, but I didn’t get to see much else really.

Your live performances are always pretty insane. You must love playing live, right?

We’ve always been a live band. When we started the band it was only ever to play live and we didn’t think we’d get to do anything else, so we’ve always been about trying to be the best we can and have a laugh. We were in Leeds last night and it was so warm that I nearly passed out about 3 or 4 times. It was either because it was so warm, or just because I’m terribly unfit and keep eating instead of working out!

What’s the best bit about playing live shows?

I think it’s the feedback you get from crowds. I like to see shock on people’s faces. I’d rather someone love us or hate us than just being like, ‘oh, they’re OK.’ We’ve always been about getting in people’s faces and having a laugh. I think I’m quite funny, I’m probably the only one though! I think if you pay to go to a show, it should be all entertainment. Don’t be the serious ones with silences in between songs who don’t speak to the crowd, because playing live is all about playing to the crowd.

I heard at one show, somebody threw a shoe at you, and then bit you. How do you cope with that kind of behaviour?

What happened was, a boy and his friends snuck into the gig, and they were caught in the dressing room area and got kicked out of the venue, but then managed to sneak back in. They were causing trouble the whole gig, pushing people over and stamping on the back of people’s heels, so their shoes would come off and then throwing them. I saw one of them throw it, and I ducked, but I saw red, ran into the pit and just went mental. I threw a punch at him and got him in a headlock, and I thought I would be against the five of them. But they all ran away, like pussies, and he ended up just biting me!

“

“

Anything you’ve seen is 2% of how crazy he actually is

”

Sunday he was doing an Iron Man event, which is a 112 mile bike ride, a marathon, and then a two and a half mile swim. I asked him if he trains a lot for these, and he told me, ‘I find training makes it easier, and I like a challenge.’

Start the Party is a bit of a sing-along anthem, is that something we can expect more of on the new album?

No, it’s all rap for the rest! And apparently, the kids are down with something called ‘dubstepping’, whatever that is. No, it’s more of a rocky album, and I want to say fun, but that makes it sound crap, because every time I think of a fun band, I think of ska and I hate that. Partying is the main theme, and it’s just about living your life and smiling.

What’s up with the long delay from the release of the single to the release of the album?

Not our fault! Basically, because when you’re a band our size, come Christmas, loads of massive pop stars are releasing Christmas albums, and you can’t compete with them. They told us we could either release it September, which we thought was too soon, or wait until January. We finished recording it in July, and I’m already fed up of it! I need another new album of ours to listen to; I’m bored of this one now!

You’ve taken Straight Lines out with you on this tour, and there is a real close-knit group of Welsh bands, how has that helped you out?

Lostprophets took us out on our first tour, and our first big show was with Funeral for a Friend. We took Kids in Glass Houses out on their first tour, who’ve ultimately taken Straight Lines out. We’re all friends. It spans genres as well, and I think right now Wales has the best scene in the UK, possibly in the world, for music. American bands just want to be British, British bands want to be American, and I think Wales has just come out with one of every genre, and nailed it.

I saw one of them throw it and I ducked, but I saw red, ran into the pit and just went mental

Can you give us some examples of some up-and-coming Welsh bands?

Astroid Boys - they sing raps over dubsteps.

It’s kind of like metal/nu-metal meets dubstep meets rap, and it’s really cool. They’re a bit like Odd Future, but I like them more than Odd Future. Who else are Welsh? Gavin Butler’s solo stuff is good, but don’t tell him though, he’s got a big head.

”

You flew out to Ibiza to film the video for Start the Party with Pritchard of Dirty Sanchez and Balls of Steel fame. Is he as mental in real life as he is on TV? He is more mental than you’ll ever know. Anything you’ve seen is 2% of how crazy he actually is. He’s mental, but not in a crazy, frightening way. He’s just happy. He’s the nicest bloke in the world. I’ll be out partying, and not feeling very well, and then I’ll think, ‘Pritchard wouldn’t stand for this’. He’s done marathons having not slept, because he’s been at a house party the night before. We did the boat party for the video on a Wednesday. On

Finally, the ultimate question. Bournemouth vs Barry Island, which is the better beach spot?

I haven’t been to Barry Island for quite some time, I can’t remember! Despite Gavin and Stacey being on, there’s nothing really there. I haven’t really been out in Bournemouth either, even though we’ve been here a bunch of times, so I can’t answer that one honestly, sorry.

Words James Hibberd Design Toby Gray

NERVE 55

Milks Halloween special was a MOOsive success with the cows from across the land joining for the ultimate indie spookfest.

PLAYLIST Flaws Bastille Wild Youth Daughter Inhaler Foals Bloodshake Peace All Blackbird Blackbird NERVE 56

WIN!

GRAZING TO PARIS

1st person to spot themselves on this page and tweet or Facebook comment us "I saw myself @MilkBournemouth in @NerveMagazine #Iwantfreemilk" will win a free t-shirt and free entry! The next 2 will also win free entry!

Sam Wilkinson and Andy Wall recently made it to Paris during LEGGIT 2012!

Sam: ‘saw this at 4am and though we’d take a photo.’

Congratmoolations guys!

PHOTOS SAM BAGUETTE WWW.SAMBPHOTO.CO.UK Design Joanna Poulton

NERVE 57 NERVE 57

ADVERTORIAL

NERVE 58

FEATURE

“

ONE cookie. four hours later we wake up from our food coma to realise that one cookie turned into all 36 of them

”

We’ve all been there: sitting around during Christmas break devouring Grandma’s cookies and Mum’s cakes. At first, it starts off as just a simple snack. One cookie. Four hours later we wake up from our food coma to realise that one cookie turned into all 36 of them plus half of Mum’s cake. With the superpower to eat without gaining weight still yet to be discovered, the only solution for this problem is to figure out which of those naughty foods make you fat over the holidays and how to avoid them. . So what foods will make you look like Santa’s stuntdouble this holiday season?

CHRISTMAS HAM

Covered in salty, sugary glaze, this ham is the naughty substitute for the traditional, healthy turkey. You could eat your body weight in this ham – you know, as a present to yourself - but if possible, stick to the turkey meat. If it’s totally unavoidable (or totally irresistible...) limit yourself to smaller portions.

GINGERBREAD HOUSES

Made of sugary goodness so great you can taste it at the thought. This frosty, candycovered childhood favourite is a fairytale treat that should stay right there in the fairytales – unless you fancy looking like one of the Seven Dwarves. If you simply can’t go a year without your gingerbread fix, the healthy alternatives would be to switch the candy out for some trail mix or dried fruit. Or, if you find packing on those pounds a fun challenge then this is definitely the treat for you! Go on...

CHRISTMAS COOKIES

In the shapes of reindeer, Christmas trees and snowmen, these cookies will also shape your tummy. With no alternative besides gluten or sugar free, skipping or limiting your intake are your only

options if you’re planning on staying in the good kind of shape (e.g. not round...).

Good luck resisting!

Fruit Cakes

The naughtiest of all Christmas’ indulgent treats, this is the Grinch of all Christmas desserts - lying to you straight away. Don’t let the fruit fool you into thinking these cakes are healthy in the slightest. Heavily loaded with sugar that can cause your good cholesterol to decrease and the bad to skyrocket, the smartest way to eat these are to switch out the fruit candies for bits of the real deal.

CHRISTMAS PUDDING

With 350 calories, 50 grams of fat and more than 30 grams of sugar, this festive favourite will be sure to give you that Santa appeal.

Made with molasses, brandy, fruit candies and greases with butter and sugar, the unhealthiness of this dish is so over the top it hurts. No, seriously. You might have a heart attack. Consider trying a baked fruit dish for an alternative or a smaller portion with lowfat crème or custard. Or you could just spoil yourself – an extra bite couldn’t hurt?

Whether you want to stay in shape this season or you aspire to work as Santa in a mall, these foods can either make or break your chances of getting on that naughty fat list. With healthier options of fruit pies, potatoes, vegetables or a nice, hot bowl of soup, take the time to figure out whether you will be naughty or nice to yourself this season!

RY MABE WORDS MALLO

ORIGINAL ILLUSTRATION BECKY HILL

- ELLIOT DESIGN LAUREN DEBONO NERVE 59

yesr5

BY SAM MATTACOTT SA.MATTACOTT.COM

NERVE 60

COMMENT

Jimmy Saville scandal: what society has to learn

T

he horror of Sir Jimmy Savile’s paedophilic behaviour was in no way understated by the British press. The shock of learning that one of the nation’s leading charity promoters, and star of the BBC, was responsible for the abuse of over 300 children, took the country by surprise.

The scandal has seen the (not so?) voluntary redundancy of Director General George Entwistle after just two months in charge and sparked BBC Foreign Editor John Simpson to call it the “worst crisis to hit the BBC in nearly 50 years. Yet as more and more articles are published reporting an ever-greater number of incidences, it’s safe to say that something went terribly, terribly wrong, as it was only until Savile’s death that any of these reports were taken notice of.

But why was it that these claims, now supported, were never made during his life? The sad fact is that they were; they were simply ignored.

While it is no surprise that society’s natural tendency is to elevate the image of individuals they deem to be remarkable, Savile’s case provides an example of what happens when the glorification of a person reaches beyond the control of any one organisation. Savile threatened to bring everyone down with him if he was tried with allegations of abuse.

This degree of power is what made his invisible reign over those who dared to speculate particularly frightening. And yet, one could argue it was society itself that handed him these reigns as they placed him in a God-like status above the rest of the

television personalities – institutions providing him with access to their establishments, and children, as each visit allowed them to gain desired publicity.

It must, of course, be considered that the prime of Savile’s career was in a different era and there is a chance that his easy access to children and the blind eye that was turned to facilitate his abuse, could be perceived as a reflection of the carefree nature of the decades he worked in. The danger, however, of linking his acts with those of a bygone era is that many of the same societal traits prevail today.

While there is a rampant supply of magazines and newspapers dishing out the dirt on figures of the public eye, there are individuals we would like to uphold as good role models.

The circumstantial difference, however, is that it can be argued that the scrutiny of the media in today’s day is far too strong to dismiss a lead as prevalent as the one Jimmy Savile left the reporters of his time.

This being said, the BBC’s decision not to air the investigation revealing Savile as a paedophile last year, and instead, showed a number of tributes to him, indicates that the journalistic world may not be as hard-hitting and truth-seeking as it is commonly perceived to be.

It is up to the members of society to resist the ease of celebrity infatuation. While the life of cynic may be an extreme response, a level of caution is advised to prevent such acts from occurring in the future.

Words: Emma Oriana Grewal Communication & Media Illustration: Nathan Hackett AUCB Illustration Graduate

“

The danger, of linking his acts with those of a bygone era is that many of the same societal traits prevail today

”

Something

to say?

Get your opinions published by sending your thoughts to apply@ nervemedia.org.uk NERVE 61

1 Party. 1 Block. 1 Wristband. 5 Venues. The hottest party in town returns to Bournemouth

B

lock Party is getting quite a reputation in this part of the world, with people coming down to Bournemouth from all over the country for what is undoubtedly one of Bournemouth’s best nights of the year. Tickets as usual sold out days before the event, but for the lucky 2,500 that snapped them up, they were in for a night of music like no other.

A massive line up of over 30 DJs/producers and bands were spread over 5 venues all within walking distance. The Old Fire Station was host to drum & bass legends Shy FX and new comers AlunaGeorge – a vocal and producer duo whose music is a fusion of indie and R&B, which is setting them apart from the rest of the music crowd. Breakage also joined them in the Fire Station line up, after a successful set at last year’s Block Party James ‘breakage’ Boyle clearly came back for more.

Doorly, having spent the last few months touring America with the dubstep pioneer that is Rusko, played one of his first shows back in the UK. Headlining the Alika line up, only a lucky 300 people could fit inside the venue for a pretty intense session. It was one in one out, and queues round the corner all night.

The usually more chilled venue that is the Litten Tree was a surprising highlight, filled to the brim all night as it hosted a pretty impressive House line up, which included the standout act in the form of San Francisco producer Justin Martin. The internationally acclaimed DJ filled this small venue with his bass-powered music, a style which has become the template for young producers particularly in the UK to follow. New comers Shadow Child also joined Justin in the lineup and the night was brought to a close by homegrown Bournemouth talent BitCool.

If the desperate Facebook pleas or endless cue for tickets in the loft before the event weren’t enough to whet the appetite, then maybe world class acts for just £12 might just be the kicker.

For those of you who didn’t manage to make it to a festival this year, the Block Party is the next best thing as it brings you the essence of everything that is good about festivals in one night – and no muddy wellies needed. Whether it’s dubstep, house, drum & bass or dance music, Block Party has something for everyone and it gives you a chance to check out some artists you might not have heard of before.

The Block Party is back and bigger than ever, so an early warning, get your tickets early, you’ll thank us.

Words Mim Pippard Design Toby Gray

NERVE 62

Books, piggy banks and soap are all things you’d expect to see in the standard home. Not us though, it’s all lies, here are the real top 5...

ITEMS STUDENTS WILL FIND IN THEIR HOUSES 5

Evidence of an allnighter

We try to stay on top of things (mostly) but an all-nighter \ is an inevitable part of degree life. Did you know, caffeine and sugary foods only give you a spike in energy level and then bring you down again?! Yes, actually, we did. That’s why there’s 7 empty mugs and 3 pizza boxes, we came prepared. Those grease stained, tomato stained, tear stained boxes are a testament to how hard you worked to pull off your assignment. And hey, once used to comfort you through a night of frantic typing they can be transformed into a makeshift game of battleshots (look it up, seriously) so you can spend the following night drowning (or downing) my sorrows.

4

The Chunder Chart

A delightful memento, recording each and every moment someone can’t hold their drink. If you’re not on the chunder chart within the first fortnight at Uni, you’re doing it wrong. Each varies in style, from the simple tally, (it happened, let’s never speak of it again) to a system NASA would be proud of (volume, velocity and noise level all carefully calculated). Most importantly, the charts must not be tucked in a corner of shame but proudly displayed somewhere all visitors will see (yeah Mum... it’s just scientific re-

search). At the end of the year, the winner, but ultimately loser, of the chunder chart receives a prize, hopefully a new stomach lining.

3

Traffic cones (or anything that should really be outside)

Manufacturers of traffic cones rejoice as a new University year begins. Gleefully they look forward to the surge in demand that will occur around November, after the first year students have adorned their kitchens and hallways with various road signs. A rite of passage for all Freshers, there’s got to be at least one novelty item in in the flat by the end of the year. For the second and third years, the cone transforms from a symbol of rebellion to a handy doorstop.

Whatever year, whatever accommodation, no place is complete without a flash of white and orange peeking out from behind a sofa. Bring on the next set of roadworks.

2

A mountain of leaflets to rival Everest

FEATURE

Words: Rachel Lloyd Illustrations: Alice Kirkham

early morning rounds, the club promoter stealthily treads the area, delivering flyer upon flyer, like an evil Santa. This Santa doesn’t want you to be good all year; he wants you to don an absurd amount of neon and head to Lava.

The leaflets and flyers pile up on a worktop until someone eventually moves them, probably out of a window, along with any hope Centro has of me ever buying a 14’ pizza.

1

More dirt than Perez Hilton has on Lindsay Lohan

Six weeks in and cracks are beginning to show. I didn’t realise things could grow inside a fridge, but apparently fungi will settle just about anywhere. The cleaning rota is nonexistent, the bin bags are piled precariously against a wall and the oven looks like something exploded in there.

Beer bottles line every available surface – a guard of honour to our destroyed livers.

Remember all the fruit and salad you bought optimistically in the first week?

It sits at the back of the fridge, not even gathering dust, because the dust has more sense. And if you’re extra lucky, damp even works its way in to your home. But it’s ok, because the green brings out the mould on the carpet.

Within one fortnight you’ve probably matched the amount of paper in a small library. They just appear, don’t they? In the same way a milkman makes his

What are your most disgusting student items? Tweet them to @NerveMagazine.

See you next month!

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