STRENGTH IN THE FACE OF ADVERSITY

Peter Rhys Williams

Georgia Gabriel-Hooper is a normal 17-year-old. She is studying for a diploma in agriculture at Reaseheath College and is very much looking forward to having a few cocktails after she turns 18 later in the year. Brought up on a farm with 1,000 breeding ewes, she’s also worked with pigs, cattle and on the arable side of the sector, but sheep are still very much Georgia’s passion.

Unfortunately though, it wasn’t our shared interest in agriculture that brought Georgia and I together. She began following Student Farmer on Twitter, and I recognised her name immediately; a few weeks previously I had listened to her speak on a podcast, bravely recalling the story of how her mother had been murdered in front of her by her stepfather. When I saw her name pop up, I realised that the story of this young woman, survivor and activist should be shared with her peers in the rural community to help to prevent such a tragic event from happening again.

Georgia begins: “My mum, Cheryl, met Andrew in 2010, and they were together for four years before getting engaged and later married. Overall, the abuse we suffered at his hands was emotional, as opposed to physical. There was a lot of coercive control, which makes it even harder to realise that you’re being abused.

It’s even more shocking to think that Georgia was only 14 years old when she witnessed this horrific incident. You wouldn’t blame her if she never wanted to speak about it again and move on with her life, but the opposite is true.

Georgia explains: “In September 2019, I spoke at the Stand Up To Domestic Abuse conference and this was the first time I had spoken publicly about my experience of domestic abuse (DA). That conference led me to becoming a pioneer for DA charity SafeLives and opened doors for the work I have done since.”

LEFT: Georgia with her late mum Cheryl MAIN IMAGE: Georgia now on farm

Covid-19 and domestic abuse

Firstly, it’s important to remember that Covid-19 (or any other external circumstance) does not cause domestic abuse. Only abusers are responsible for their actions. The pandemic has, however, escalated abuse and the lockdowns meant there were fewer escapes or routes to safety for people suffering domestic abuse.

According to charity Women’s Aid, survivors contacting its direct services have reported escalating abuse and having to live in lockdown with an abuser due to Covid-19. People who spent lockdown with their abuser were less able to get breathing space. It was harder to text or phone to get support from friends and family, and from specialist support services. Child survivors didn’t have the respite of school or nursery, which can often be a safe space to access support.

An initial survivor survey carried out by Women’s Aid in April 2020 confirmed that Covid-19 had quickly impacted on the experiences of women experiencing domestic abuse. It found: • 67.4% of survivors who are currently experiencing abuse said it had got worse since Covid-19 • 76.1% said they were having to spend more time with their abuser.

Georgia’s experiences reflect these statistics: “During lockdown in particular I was spending hours each day on Zoom, not only having meetings on how we could improve things surrounding the dramatic rise in domestic abuse, but also doing presentations to the public. I helped to train more than 100 schools in my local area over Christmas, helping them to understand abuse and to make sure the education they’re giving to their students is the most effective that it can be.”

• Physical or sexual abuse • Violent or threatening behaviour • Psychological or emotional abuse • Coercive behaviour – for example, humiliation or intimidation • Controlling behaviour – for example, making someone feel less important or dependent on the abuser • Economic abuse – this includes controlling someone's possessions or how they earn or spend money

Rural living and domestic abuse

Considerable geographical distances between farms and urban areas presents extra challenges for those facing domestic abuse. This distance can also feel increased by connectivity issues such as lack of mobile phone or broadband signal, leading to isolation.

Crimestoppers has a dedicated page to rural domestic abuse that states: “Their nearest specialist can be up to two bus-rides away from their home.

“If a partner controls access to a car, denies them petrol money, checks their mileage, or demands an explanation every time they leave home, that distance can mean a victim is simply unable to get to a specialist support worker.

“Similarly, in a small community where a new vehicle would be noticed, a victim cannot be safely visited by a support worker on a regular basis, in case word gets back to the perpetrator that a strange car has been seen at their home. There may be an assumption that domestic violence is an inner-city problem, confi ned to lower socio-economic or ethnic minority groups. And a victim can feel very vulnerable seeking support from their neighbours, the local police, or their family doctor where they may become the subject of local gossip.”

Georgia feels traditional values are also a major challenge: “Often ‘what happens at home stays at home’ and ‘what a man does with his wife is his business’ are still prevalent opinions within agricultural communities.

“My story is used as a case study for the rural domestic abuse workshop, for the Safelives Domestic Abuse Matters programme. It is used for training police forces in making sure they have adequate knowledge to handle cases (and unfortunately we know they fail a lot).

“This year I was heavily involved in the serial perpetrator register campaign.

“My stepfather was a serial perpetrator; he received a four-year suspended sentence in 2004 for his actions against his ex-wife. I was fortunate enough for Baroness Helen Newlove to pick up my story and volunteer to read it out in the House of Lords. Subsequently, we made it through the Lords twice, however, both times the House of Commons decided to vote it down. I am one of the few young people who has been able to receive a great education on domestic abuse and fortunately break the cycle in my family, but many aren’t so lucky.”

• You’re becoming a lot more critical of yourself — thinking that you always doing things wrong, are unattractive/unloveable or unable to support yourself or do things you used to do. • You give up on your own opinions and think your partner is right about everything. • You’re feeling more stressed or worried all the time; you feel nauseous or have bad butterfl ies. Sometimes stress can also stop us eating and sleeping properly, or cause us to have headaches. • You have that ‘dread’ feeling more often. • You’re scared of how your partner will react to a situation. • You avoid saying something because you don’t want to upset your partner. • You feel scared when your partner is angry because you can’t predict their behaviour. • You’re feeling a pressure to change who you are or move the relationship further than you want to. • You feel like you’re walking on eggshells. • You’re staying in more and seeing less of family and friends to avoid arguments with your partner. Gun laws

Guns are commonplace in rural communities, with many people having grown up around them and seeing them regularly, unlike a lot of people in more urban areas. While most people are responsible gun users with appropriate licences and adhere to regulations, there will always be the odd person who does not. While acknowledging that guns are an intrinsic part of rural life, Georgia wants it to be much more diffi cult to get a shotgun licence.

She said: “I’ve not had as much time as I would have liked to start tackling gun legislation, however, it’s high on my list of priorities for the next year. They present a threat and can be used in an intimidating manner. It is also easier for people with gun experience to follow through on hurting someone this way than by any other method, because pulling a trigger is easy, especially when you have been doing it your whole life. With a knife, or other object, so much eff ort has to go into following through and the action is not instant.”

Remembering Cheryl

As painful as it is to talk about her mother so frequently, Georgia wants to share the positives of Cheryl’s life and keep her memory alive: “I learned a lot from my mum; she was incredibly well-liked and respected. She was well known for being polite, intelligent, attractive, generous – the list goes on! I am fortunate to have learned copious amounts from her that will serve me throughout the entirety of my life.

“I have followed in my mum’s footsteps, particularly when it comes to wanting to help people all the time and having an inability to say ‘no’. Going until burnout is a major family trait, and the ability to always forgive is another. However great it can be, it is also a major downfall as people can easily take advantage. Fortunately, I have learned to not only be forgiving and to go the extra mile for others, but also to stand up for myself and how to read people’s intentions. It is important to say that. Yes, I have learned from my mum’s successes, but I have also learned from her failures, allowing me to become the best version of myself that I can be.”

• SafeLives: www.safelives.org.uk • Refuge: www.refuge.org.uk and 0808 2000 247 • Women’s Aid: www.womensaid.org.uk • Respect, Men’s Advice Line: www.mensadviceline.org.uk and 0800 801 0327 • National LGBT+ Domestic Abuse Helpline: www.galop.org.uk/ domesticabuse and 0800 999 5428 • Respond (for adults and children with learning difficulties): www.respond.org.uk and 020 7383 0700 • SignHealth (for people in the deaf community): www. signhealth.org.uk/with-deaf-people/domestic-abuse/ domestic-abuse-service

of survivors who are currently experiencing abuse said it had got worse since Covid-19 What next for Georgia?

Georgia hopes to continue to work in the domestic abuse sector for as long as it is an issue, and unfortunately it doesn’t seem to be easing any time soon. She said: “I have many goals for what I would like to see change and they are going to take a lot of work, certainly. However, I have the drive and ability to hopefully bring about some major change.

“I would particularly like to see major change surrounding serial perpetrators and the freedoms they are given to continue to abuse victims, alongside their ability to still get or keep shotgun and firearm licences. I also feel that education for the younger generations around domestic abuse is the only way we are going to stop or reduce the current volume of abuse. We need to educate children to break the cycle of not only becoming victims in their adult life, but also curbing those who may go on to become perpetrators.”