SCW July 2017 Edition

In the Waiting

Spark theWay

The Smart Stepmom

Modesty is a

Verb

A magazine designed to influence the modern day woman from a Christian perspective. It is written to encourage, strengthen, bring resolve, and draw courage to her walk in life. Creating a fierce community of women while tackling real life issues.

Founder and President: Francis Fernandez Graphic Designer: Fina Florez

Contact SCW: Strong Courageous Women @scwlife SCW_Life www.SCWLife.com

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m o r f r e T t e L Editor e h t

brought new ideas, new dreams, and even a new direction. I’m learning that as I’m being refreshed through Him I’ll have more to offer those around me. Therefore, I urge you to think; How will you be refreshed during this season?

This month also marks the one year anniversary of SCW. I’m beyond humbled by what God has done in the short time of our existence. It all began with a simple command to step out and be Strong and Courageous as Joshua 1:9 states. Yet, here we are today reaching many women via social media, print, and other spheres of influence. I am grateful for your support throughout this last year.

In closing, our faithful God has opened the doors for my family and I to move to South America and join the leadership of a seasoned ministry. We are excited to have the privilege of sharing the Word of God and the love of Christ worldwide. However, do not fret because SCW will continue to expand via digital format as we step onto the international platform.

I pray this issue of SCW causes you to be Refreshed in all areas of your life!

Connect with me on social media via Facebook at Strong and Courageous Women, @SCWLife on Instagram or @SCW_Life on Twitter. I’ll be praying for you!

S

ummer time is here and to be honest with you I’m not sure who tends to be more excited by June, the kids or myself? The school year has wrapped up and we are well on our way to enjoy some fun in the sun. There is so much to relish in during the summer. The sunny days, the sandy beaches, and the yummy dishes that bring us together with family and friends. Florida is known as the sunshine state where people from all walks of life come to vacation. I have the blessing to be currently living here. I say currently because SCW is about to go International!!!!

Our theme this issue is based on Proverbs 11:25 which says, “A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed”. When I sought the Lord in prayer for the theme of this issue I felt Him impressing in my heart that this season was a time to be refreshed in Him. This time of refreshing has

I’m learning that as I’m being refreshed through Him I’ll have more to offer those around me.”

July 2017 Issue

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Contributors Ashley Jackson faith

A Christian communicator who loves encouraging women in Christ to live and walk out what they believe and learn to stand up in their true identities.

Find her @ashleymorganjackson.com

Laura Petherbridge Step Parenting An international author and speaker who serves couples with topics on stepfamilies, relationships, divorce prevention, and divorce recovery. Find her @TheSmartStepmom.com

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Michelle Athens Marriage

A writer who is eternally grateful for the “perfect for her” husband God has blessed her with.

Find her @michelleathens.com

Chelsea Drinkard Being Single

A millennial with an Entrepreneurial spirit leading Christian Business Women’s Connection.

Find her @officespacebrokers.com

Nekeshia Hammond Parenting

She is the founder of Hammond Psychology & Associates, P.A., a private practice dedicated to helping children, teens, families, and adults.

Find her @HammondPsychology.com.

Kimberly Solomon Faith

Kimberly’s main purpose, mission, and goal in life is to help as many people as she can along this wonderful journey.

Find her @kimberlysolomon.org

Jodi Avery Business

#1 Individual Realtor for Keller Williams (MC138) for the last 4 years. Jodi was Tampa Bay Business Journal’s “2016 Real Estate Business Woman of the Year.” Find her at Jodi@JodiAvery.com

Contributors Belisa Perez Faith

A Mindset and Online Business Coach who helps passionate and purpose driven Mompreneurs create a profitable business and life they love! Find her @Kingdom Mompreneurs Unite on Facebook.

Martha Brangenberg Books

A host on the iWork4Him radio program.Her desire is to help listeners incorporate Christ in their workplace.

Find her @iWork4Him.com

Faye Adams fitness

Her greatest desire in life is to please the Lord, point others to Him, and bring Him honor. Find her @Purposefulmoms.com

Jessie Campbell Beauty

Founder of Wake Up and Makeup with Jessie.

She is passionate about Beauty.

Find her @HotMessJess.com

Shirley Jump Writing

When she’s not writing books, New York Times and USA Today bestselling author Shirley Jump competes in triathlons.

Find her @shirleyjump.com

Karen Gillman fashion

Her life work is devoted to helping others seek God and through Him realize and go after their hearts desires.

Find her @charitychics.com

Linda Bull Culinary

Linda is passionate about cooking. She loves to travel and see all the beauty God has created. She enjoys being a business owner and meeting other women business owners. Find her @sassygirlssalsa.com July 2017 Issue

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Contents 26

42 20

38 Our featured location Fort De Soto Park 3500 Pinellas Bay way S, Tierra Verde, FL 33715 Cover Photo by: House of Reinhard 6 SCWLife.com

Contents Life 8 In the Waiting by Ashley Jackson 10 Give Up the Goods by Michelle Athens 12 How to Raise Emotionally Healthy

Well-Being 28 Refreshing the Workplace by Jodi Avery 30 My Not-So-Secret Strategies for Weight

14 The Smart Stepmom

by Jessie Campbell

Loss by Faye Adams

Children by Nekeshia Hammond

32 Tis the Season to Be Golden and Glowing

by Laura Petherbridge

34 Modesty is a Verb by Karen Gillman

18 What If It’s Not About Who You Marry But Why? by Chelsea Drinkard

20 Spark the Way by Madison Miller 22 Nurturing Your Faith by Belisa Perez 24 Finding Refreshment in Barrenness

by Kimborly Solomon

Leisure 36 Book Reviews by Martha Brangenberg 38 What Completing a Half Ironman Taught Me by Shirley Jump

42 Berry Cookie Cobbler by Linda Bull

July 2017 Issue

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Faith

Photo by: House of Reinhard

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What we produce and how we perform are often placed on the highest pedestal...�

Faith

in the

Waiting M

By Ashley Jackson

any times God puts a dream or vision in our hearts or gives us gifts or passions that burn in our souls.

We start trying to run with that dream, all ready to go, but instead all that seems to be happening is a lot of standing around and waiting. It feels like we’re going nowhere fast. What do we do with that burning and how do we handle the waiting?

We look at the giants of faith in the Word of God and long to be like them. Full of faith, leading people into victory and freedom, hearing God and living on purpose. When we read their stories, we see their strengths but it’s easy to skip over the parts that contributed to them becoming strong, the parts that no doubt contributed to the character that helped shoulder what God used them to do. Almost any character you find in Scripture has a backstory that gets them ready to be everything God is preparing for them. So many of those pre-victory days probably looked pretty similar to ours—people feeling confused, hurt, struggling to understand what any of this was all about, doing the same thing placed in front of them day in and day out with no real signs of change. If we could read their daily thoughts and wonderings would they be filled with whys and crying out and impatience with the lack of change?

What did their waiting and in-between times look like? David was anointed as king but was then sent back to those smelly, boring, everyday sheep. When he finally did get some movement and victory with Goliath, he then had a jealous king constantly trying to kill him. Joseph was hated by his brothers and sold into slavery. Finally he gets to a place of promotion in Potiphar’s house only to be falsely accused and sent to prison where he felt forgotten for a long time. Moses was placed in the palace to be raised but then after killing a man runs to the desert where he is isolated and takes care of sheep for forty years.

Yet all those days of seeming neglect, all the moments of being misunderstood or falsely accused, all the beginnings and all the middles, they were all a part of the preparation. If David had never learned to use that slingshot while he was watching sheep on the backside of nowhere he would not have been ready for

Goliath. If Joseph hadn’t learned about integrity and faithfulness through being mistreated and forgotten, he may not have been ready to save Egypt from famine. If Moses hadn’t been in the wilderness for those forty years before he was sent to Pharaoh, he wouldn’t have had the stillness or have learned how to survive in the wilderness, all skills he would later need.

It seems God isn’t always that interested in the most skillful, prestigious or most driven people but rather in finding those hearts that are for Him and that trust Him through all kinds of seasons, especially the ones that make the least sense and require the most faith. In 1 Samuel 13:14 Samuel describes David when he says “the Lord has sought out a man after his own heart and appointed him ruler…”. Perhaps it’s not only that David was similar in heart to God but that he chased hard after the heart of God. It was not position, prestige, likes or platforms he was after, but God alone. Because of that, He was able to trust David’s heart in the position of king.

In our society what we produce and how we perform are often placed on the highest pedestal but we know very well that God doesn’t conform to society. We are his children and we belong in His kingdom and He will be faithful to make sure that even our vision and calling never become little gods to us. He would not be a good father if He allowed what we are wanting to do for Him become of more importance to us than Himself. Our character, strength, and deep dependence on Him comes from those seasons of waiting, “no”, struggles and learning that He is the prize and everything we need or could ever want.

Every season has a purpose and cannot be skipped. Without it we would enter into what God has for us ill-equipped and underprepared. We wouldn’t be who we needed to be or know what we needed to know in order to step into those faith-giant moments. Most importantly those seasons help us let go of possibly worshiping what we want to do for God more than God Himself. He is so faithful and such a good father, He wants us to be free from little idols that can’t save us or give us the identity we seek. He has given us freedom and love so we can speak freedom and love to others, without limit through Him. In the season of “no”, waiting, misunderstandings, closed doors, and confusion we can trust that God is good even in it all. We can know He is working every part of it for our good and for His kingdom’s purposes. May we be willing to ask and look for what God is teaching us, training us for, refining in us, and keep running hard after Him. To dare to trust that while we may be waiting for God to use us in the passions and dreams in our hearts means we are walking and growing in intimacy with Him. In exchange, He is refining us, making us more and more like His son. May we be willing to keep showing up, day in and day out, being faithful, sowing that seed and waiting for God to bring us the harvest, as only He can.■ July 2017 Issue

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Marriage

Give Up The Goods

I

By Michelle Athens

was gathering my mail when I noticed my neighbor, an older man, pushing his lawnmower across his front lawn in neat rows. His sweat soaked T-shirt was plastered to his thin back.

His weathered face was flushed. It was only 9:30 in the morning, but it was already sweltering. Then his wife came out of the house carrying a tall glass of iced tea. The roar of the mower died down. They shared a quiet intimate smile as she handed him the glass. That was it. No grand, dramatic gesture. Just a small gift of generosity in the form of a cool drink on a hot day.

But there was something palpable between them. I found myself smiling too as I looked away. They’ve been married thirty-seven years, and were still doing nice things for each other. Then it occurred to me, maybe that’s the secret.

Simple and Deliberate Acts of Kindness Count Proverbs 11:24, 25 says: “Give freely and become wealthier; be stingy and lose everything. The generous will prosper; those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed.”

Researchers from the University of Virginia’s National Marriage Project studied the role of generosity in the marriages of almost 3,000 couples.

They defined generosity as “the virtue of giving good things to one’s spouse freely and abundantly.” The happiest couples were those with the highest generosity scores. They peppered their marriages with small, not grandiose acts, of kindness. Something as simple as bringing their spouse a cup of coffee in the morning.

This doesn’t come as a surprise to me. The Bible already tells us this. No need for long-term studies, no lab rat volunteers, no expense at all. It’s only a matter of unleashing the wisdom within those miraculous pages of God’s word. I was intrigued by this, so I gathered up and dissected some attributes of a generous marriage.

There’s No Score Keeping There’s no faster way to kill the spirit of generosity than to keep score. There’s a common misconception that a good marriage functions as a 50/50 part-

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nership. But it’s this mindset that sets up an invisible scoreboard in your heart. We must approach marriage with a generous heart, as though it’s a 100/0 scenario.

Each spouse should be willing to do everything, while expecting nothing in return. Otherwise, the stage is set for one winner and one loser. God’s intention for marriage is for a man and his wife to unite as one.

(Genesis 2:24). If your spouse doesn’t do it, you do it because now you are one unit. Forgive your spouse for whatever grievances you’ve built up. Remember, score keeping goes both ways. If your spouse is counting up the marks against you, how will you rank?

They Express Affection Often I’m going to just call it what it is, as unromantic as it sounds. Marital maintenance. This crucial ingredient in the whole marriage deal is not optional. God created us in His image, thus, we are beings that need to love and be loved. Giving and getting affection in marriage is a responsibility, not an added perk. Too often, it gets lost in the everyday hustle, only to show up in the bedroom after a tiresome day of chores. It doesn’t have to be that complicated! There are so many ways to be affectionate, right there in the bright, broad light of day. Touch your spouse, even it’s only by standing shoulder to shoulder and hip to hip, over a sink full of dishes. Hold hands through the grocery store parking lot. Be generous with your words as well. A “Thinking of you,” text message in the middle of the work day. A sincere compliment first thing in the morning. Start by committing to at least three acts daily. The goal here is to make showing affection such a natural habit that you can’t not do it.

We can change the tone of our marriage by taking deliberate actions. You can’t wing it and expect it to last. We can fortify its foundation by choosing to indulge the spirit of generosity. Careful intention is the grease that makes those marital wheels turn. Without it, we won’t get far, so give of yourself generously and abundantly. Each time you do, you make another valuable deposit in the longevity of your marriage.

Attitude matters. Touch matters. Words matter. Cold glasses of iced tea matter, more than you realize.■

Marriage

We must approach marriage with a generous heart.�

July 2017 Issue

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Motherhood

How to Raise

Emotionally Healthy Children

Photo by: House of Reinhard

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By Nekeshia Hammond, Psy.D.

I

f you search for parenting books on Amazon, you will get more than 228,000 results just thinking about the topic of parenting can be incredibly overwhelming. The fact that there are so many resources available to “guide you” in parenting only adds to this sense of overwhelm. However, if you asked them directly what they want for their children, odds are most parents will say they want their kids to be happy. Sure, they want them to be healthy, well-mannered and educated young people, but they really want is for their children to be happy. Is a happy child an emotionally healthy one though? What exactly does that mean to be emotionally healthy?

Does Emotionally Healthy Mean Happy?

According to The American Psychological Association (APA), “Emotional health can lead to success in work, relationships and health...Happy people are more likely to work toward goals, find the resources they need and attract others with their energy and optimism—key building blocks of success.”

The APA along with the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, as well as the Mental Health Foundation, use emotionally healthy interchangeably with the word “happy.” In other words, to be happy is to be emotionally healthy. Now that we understand this concept, how can we help raise our children to be emotionally healthy?

Tips for Raising an Emotionally Healthy Child Communication is paramount. As with most things related to emotional and mental health, one of the first components is communication. I stress this frequently in articles, blog posts, in consultations with parents and more. We must communicate with our children. It’s also crucial to note that communication is a two-way street. It’s not all about telling our kids what to do, and how to behave. Good communication is also built on listening to our children.

Parents need to get comfortable having conversations with their children about a variety of topics. Yes, even the uncomfortable ones like sex, drugs, alcohol, etc. The more topics you can discuss openly, the more your children will be willing to bring things up to you. When a child feels like they can’t talk to you, or mention certain things, they start holding back.

Once they start holding back, trouble has the opportunity to brew. Make it a point to have an open line of communication, free from judgment. This alone will work wonders for your child’s emotional health, and for your relationship with them over all.

Prepare for conflict, and have a game plan for what could happen. If you have more than one child, at one point or another they will fight. However, conflict isn’t always in the home.

Sometimes our children face conflict with peers and even teachers. Having good communication between you and your child

Motherhood will be highly beneficial when conflict of any kind inevitably arises, because you can work it out together.

For example, if you learn that your child is being bullied, you can talk with them about what happened and figure out the best way to handle the situation. Or, if you learn that your daughter and son are quarreling, you can objectively listen to both sides of the story and work together to find a compromise.

Get involved in their schooling. First, know that schooling isn’t reserved for school. Encourage reading at home, help them with homework, and get tutors when necessary. In the event you find your child is struggling at school, get to the root of the problem. Is it mental, emotional or physical? The sooner you can determine the cause, the sooner you can work toward a solution.

Praise them and boost their self-esteem. Give them hugs, tell them you love them, and tell them all the things that make them great. However, self-esteem is about more than hugs and praise.

It’s also about letting them make decisions, and allowing them to explore the things they like.

For example, let your child decide on their extracurricular activities rather than pressuring them into what you think they should do. If your daughter wants to try archery, don’t force her into ballet. If your son wants to try ballet, don’t force him into football. It’s important to allow our children the chance to try different things so they can learn what they like, and what they don’t. Not having a choice can make them feel resentful, or like what they want is bad.

Get them active, and make wise nutrition decisions. Our children don’t get enough physical activity in school these days.

According to the Center for Disease Control, children should receive 60 minutes or more of aerobic activity daily. Regular exercising can help reduce depression, improve self-confidence, reduce stress, reduce anxiety, boost overall mood, encourage neural growth and more.

Nutrition is just as important as physical activity. Healthy eating is necessary for stabilizing and maintaining the energy of children. What they eat also has a significant impact on their moods, and can affect the sharpening of their minds. To learn more about what your children, and you for that matter, should be eating, I highly recommend ChooseMyPlate.gov as a resource.

Emotional Health is About More Than How We Feel Raising emotionally healthy children involves more than just how we feel. It’s about getting to the root of why we feel what we feel. In some cases, it’s preventing bad feelings, and in others it’s working through situations to understand our thoughts and emotions. Hopefully, the tips I’ve provided in this article will help you on your journey in raising emotionally healthy children. I know at times parenting can be hard, but I’ll bet you’re doing better than you think you are. Remember, progress not perfection is key, and take things one step at a time. You’ve got this!■ July 2017 Issue

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Step-Parenting

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Step-Parenting

The Smart

Stepmom

By Laura Petherbridge

My journey as a stepmom has been filled with mistakes and victories.”

“I

wish I had learned this stepfamily stuff before I got remarried,” Jessica, a one-year stepmom recently shared with me. “I assumed we would bond and blend easily. I want to love my husband’s kids the same way I do my own family. I had no idea the issues we would face.”

As a stepmom of more than 32 years I understood this woman’s concerns. A few months into my second marriage I was discouraged by the complexities associated with being a stepmother of two boys aged eleven and thirteen. Learning how to function in a blended family has been a process for all of us. But I did discover a few helpful tips toward becoming a smart stepmom.

Stepfamilies are Birthed Out of Loss When a marriage or parent dies, or the family unit comes apart, it often induces grief, anger, insecurity and fear in the children—whether young or adult.

The loss of the original family is the foundation upon which a remarriage is birthed. I’m not saying the remarriage isn’t founded on love. But rather that there would be no stepfamily situation if the first family hadn’t expired.

Why does it matter? It’s crucial for any woman dating, engaged or married to a man with kids to understand that the shattered dreams, frustrations, uncertainty, and pain from the first family will likely affect the second marriage. And the emotions associated with the loss of the original family were there long before she entered the picture.

A Healthy Stepfamily Takes Time One of the most common misconceptions about stepfamilies is that everyone will bond quickly and smoothly. Stepfamily expert Ron Deal said, “The average stepfamily takes seven years to integrate. Parents want to believe their kids will be okay, thus the power of hope blinds couples to the realities of stepfamily integration.” (1) Many couples enter a remarriage without researching or knowing it’s not uncommon for the kids to struggle. When parents attempt to rush or force the relationship between stepchildren and stepparent, it creates tension.

The Kids (Young or Old) Need Dad A smart stepmom encourages her husband to spend time alone with his children. Kids often view Dad’s new relationship as a threat. The best way she July 2017 Issue

15

Step-Parenting can combat those fears is to help her husband set up specific times where it’s just him and his kids. During that special time his kids have dad all to themselves. The number-one statement from stepkids that expresses why they feel such frustration, anger or grief after dad gets remarried is, “It feels like I lost my father. We used to do stuff together but now I have to share him with his new wife and her kids. I lost him. I don’t matter anymore.”

As an adult we might think, “No, they still have a dad.” But it’s their perception of what’s true that we must focus upon.

Jealousy is Normal As immature as it sounds, it’s very common for a stepmom to feel jealous of the closeness between kids and dad. “I feel ridiculous,” stepmom Jenna whispered, “But when my step kids snuggle up to their dad on the couch it makes me jealous. I feel an outsider, like I don’t belong. I become sad and resentful. Aren’t I terrible?” No. A smart stepmom learns this is perfectly normal, and she finds ways to overcome those tormenting emotions. Such as: • Attend or form a healthy, safe stepmom support group.

This is where she can learn, grow and de-stress. God knows there is wisdom and healing in gathering eye-to-eye with those who understand.

• Calmly communicate the feelings to your spouse. Come up with a “code word” so that he will know when the “outside the circle” feeling has gone on too long. He can help to draw you into the conversation, etc.

• Pray. When is the last time you prayed for your spouse? For his kids? For his ex-wife? It’s amazing how God will soften your heart, and give you clearer thinking, decision making, when you pray for someone. This goes double if they have hurt you.

The Marriage Must Come First Thirty percent of people remarry within a year after a divorce, and many don’t take into account the tug-of-war between the spouse and their kids which may result. (2) If a marriage is going to flourish, it’s necessary for the relationship to become the first priority. However, guilt may prevent one or both parents from placing the marriage before the children. If the marriage is going to survive, dad and stepmom must create a unified team. Working through the issues which cause stress can build a firm foundation.

God Can Teach You How to Love Many stepmoms deal with stepkids who are difficult and unloving. Remember that hurt people tend to also hurt other people. It’s not uncommon to love your stepkids differently than

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Many stepmoms deal with stepkids who are difficult and unloving.”

you do your own biological children. However, the goal must be to learn how to love your husband’s children even if they never love you in return. This doesn’t mean becoming a “doormat,” and ignoring rude, disrespectful behavior. It does mean learning to love sacrificially is going to take time, patience, and training. (Philippians 2:2-5) My journey as a stepmom has been filled with mistakes and victories. One of my greatest pleasures is to use the experience as a way to help other stepmoms. My stepsons are now adults with children of their own. We continue to build our relationship.■ (1) Ron Deal, The Smart Stepfamily, (Bloomington, MN, Bethany House, 2002), p 64 (2) Ganong & Colman, Stepfamily Relationships: Development, Dynamics, and Interventions. (New York, Kluwer Academic, 2004) p.68

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July 2017 Issue

17

Being Single

The classic line...You had me at hello.�

Photo by: House of Reinhard

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Being Single

What If It’s Not About who You Marry But

why?

O

By Chelsea Drinkard

ur culture teaches us the wrong messages about dating and marriage. The typical Hollywood created story goes like this—the cute guy across the bar asks you to dance and you are inseparable for the rest of the night or you are at Starbucks, both reach for the cream at the same time, look into each other’s eyes and find “love at first sight. “The classic Disney movie says; Prince Charming will come to your rescue. Meanwhile, novels say we all have one soulmate like in Nicholas Sparks’ books A Walk to Remember and The Notebook, both tearjerkers that pull us into a love nirvana.

And don’t forget the classic lines that are all over popular culture, like “You had me at hello” and “You complete me.” A study mentioned in bestselling author Gary Thomas’ book The Sacred Search found that “94% of single women in their twenties say that the first requirements in a spouse is that he’s a soulmate, someone they feel an almost cosmic connection. Eighty seven percent think they’ll actually find that person ‘when they are ready.’”

The media tries to seduce us into believing what their version of love is and what dating relationships are supposed to look like. Movies like How to Be Single show that being a single, strong and independent women means sleeping around with multiple men, drinking all night and only caring about yourself.

The movies depict a happily ever after ending where that onenight stand leads to forever. In reality, those choices often leave us heartbroken, empty and lonely, and looking for the next man or experience to fill that gaping void.

Let’s go back to the question I posed in the title of this article. What if it’s not so much about who you marry, but why you

marry? What if we took the emphasis off of the who and focused on the why—how would that change your perspective on dating and marriage?

The aforementioned book The Sacred Search focuses on this very question. If you want to be intentional with preparing for dating and marriage, to be equipped to ask the right questions and potentially avoid costly mistakes, I highly recommend reading this book. Here is a brief excerpt from Thomas further explaining the importance of the who question: The way someone chooses to get married is a good indicator of the work they’ll put in after the wedding. If someone is willing to marry you without doing the hard work of determining whether you are suitable to be their spouse and their future kids’ parent, what makes you think they’ll do the hard work of building a satisfying, God-honoring marriage?

How does this differ from what the entertainment industry tells us? If we are led by our feelings in dating and marriage, how easy will it be when you just don’t feel like being married to your husband or you feel like you married the wrong man? We are told it is a feeling when we “fall in love” or sometimes in a divorce, that one of the two spouses just fell out of that same love.

2 Corinthians 5:7 says, “We walk by faith not by sight.”

We can only do this if we are “walking by the Spirit” (Galatians 5:16). Jesus says in John 15:13, “Greater love has no on than this that he pay down his life for his friends.” Love is not rooted from feelings; it’s based on sacrifice.

I am not saying we shouldn’t feel any feelings when it comes to love but we cannot let the rose-colored classes of infatuation, the idea of a boyfriend or husband and feeling of someone being there for you lead us astray. Instead, take the advice of Proverbs 3:5-6: “Trust the Lord always, lean not on your own understand, in all ways your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path.”■

Novels say we all have one soulmate.”

July 2017 Issue

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Featured Article

Spark the Way

M

By Madison Miller

y name is Madison Miller and I’m pretty much a Florida native. In 2011, I graduated from Countryside High School, then studied for two years at SPC for my AA degree and in 2013, I received the offer for my dream internship in California with the A21 Campaign. About a month before the move, my grandpa was diagnosed with cancer. My grandpa was like a dad in my life— always at my games, birthday parties, award ceremonies, etc. I had dreamed of him walking me down the aisle one day. I loved him dearly and when Grandpa was diagnosed, I postponed my internship so that I could be there to help him in any way that I could. Fast-forward a few months to April, when I experienced several days of recurrent odd chest pain. My doctor advised me to get to the emergency room as soon as I could. I headed over to Countryside Mease where my mother and stepfather met me. A few minutes earlier, they had ironically been in the building next door for Grandpa’s chemo treatment.

At the hospital, they scanned my chest and found a tumor.

A few more days and tests later, I found out that the tumor was lymphoma. I was only 20 years old and the diagnosis wrapped me in this surreal feeling. Like most young adults, I thought I was invincible and that cancer was a disease for old people. But I choose to trust the words in my Bible more than the words on a test result. I began to pray. I told God I would trust Him and that I knew He was going to use this illness to make His name and power known through the coming season of struggles I was going to face.

From the second I said Amen of that prayer, I felt peace settle over me, a peace that remained throughout my treatments and doctor visits. Philippians 4:6-7 says “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” And boy, did He deliver!

May 2013 is kind of a blur.

In early May, we lost Grandpa. Around that same time, I got shots to put my eggs to sleep (preserving later chances of having a baby), a procedure which put me into early menopause. I started chemotherapy at Moffitt Cancer Center on an inpatient

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cycle of 1 week on and 2 weeks off. My two-week break was spent in the regular hospital so doctors could monitor my low blood count. In mid-May, I lost my hair. Though my confidence still resided in Christ, it was the hardest day I faced in my battle against cancer.

This cancer story isn’t just my story, it’s our story- the people who stood alongside me and fought with me. My boyfriend at the time, my family, my church family, and my friends all formed an army in this cancer war. They equipped me, fought with me,

Featured Article

prayed with me, and kept my eyes on the God who says in Isaiah 40:10 “Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.” Between a victorious God and some amazing, compassionate people, I felt from the beginning that cancer had met its match. I felt I had already obtained the victory.

On February 5, 2015, we claimed remission! At 21 years old, I could finally say that I had beat cancer. You better believe that I high-fived God, then started the fight back to myself and my life, which at the same time birthed a nonprofit called Spark the Way. We are an organization that exists to equip young adults to be fearless and light-bearing in their battle with cancer—whether you are a fighter, survivor, or caregiver. Facing cancer when you are a young adult presents a different set of challenges and impacts. So many aspects of life are affected by that diagnosis and so many questions arise. Can I continue school? What effect will the treatments have on my future babies? How will I pay off both my school loans and medical bills? And most of all: Will I get to live the rest of my life? Cancer is hard, but when you have God on your team, the journey is more peaceful and when you have

an army to fight with you, the battle is empowering. This young adult generation has got to learn how to cherish struggles better!

Our most recent project at Spark the Way includes a mentorship and an online discussion board. Check out www.SparktheWay.org to read the stories and connect with our Survivor Mentors, as well as read through the blog posts and discussion board dialogue of our community’s current fighters.

If you’d like to learn more about Spark the Way and meet our team, we would LOVE to have you at our 3rd Annual Ignite the Light Gala on September 23rd at the Tampa Bay Garden Club! Details and tickets are all on our website, www.SparktheWay.org. See you there!■ Madison Miller is a 24-year-old Florida native. In 2013, she found herself in a battle with lymphoma. Experiencing the strength that faith and community can bring someone in battle, she started a nonprofit to celebrate her first year in remission called Spark the Way, which is a faith-based community and resource for young adults affected by cancer. Madison currently speaks, mentors, and fundraises for her life mission that is Spark the Way. Find her @sparktheway.com July 2017 Issue

21

Faith Photo by: House of Reinhard

By Belisa Perez

Nurturing Your Faith

M

Faith is confidence in what we hope for.”

ay people claim to have faith. The right question to ask isn’t “Do you have faith?” but rather, “How is your faith?”

Something amazing happens when we have something or someone that we believe in, something that requires our faith We get captured and want to give ourselves wholeheartedly to that project, goal, dream, business, ministry or people, and then a true passion is awakened within us. That’s an example of what faith is all about. When you apply it to God, that passion is even more powerful.

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The Definition of Faith Let’s quickly define faith according to the word of God: “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” Hebrews 11:1 We all have faith to some degree. When we drive a car—we have faith in ourselves and to a certain extent in the other drivers. Getting on a plane, we have faith in the pilot that we’ve never met, and we trust that the plane won’t fall from the sky. When we eat outside of the home, we put our trust in those who made the food.

Faith Logically, it’s easier to put our trust in things that are obvious to us and things that we can see. This is not necessarily what “faith in God” is, however.

Having faith in God can be looked at as something that is found in the intellect. Knowing that there is a God, yet also be well versed in the Christian faith and being able to articulate the details of that. However, if this is all we do, then we are not truly exercising faith in God. A Matter of Heart It’s a matter of the heart to have a truly authentic faith. It has more to do with the heart than with your mind, because genuine faith involves trust. Christian faith has to do with a radical trust in God. It does not mean trusting in the truth of a set of statements about God; it means trusting in God himself.

So now that we know what faith in God really is, we have to look at how we are nurturing that? If we want to truly do God’s will for our lives and for His glory, we need to make sure we are keeping Him in the loop of everything that we do.

We know that Jesus came to die for us, and by grace we have the promise of eternal life and blessings here on earth. But are we living and representing what we are professing?

Many go to church every Sunday and participate in ministry, but how is that same love we learn about being applied to daily living? We want people to love us and keep us in account, but are we loving them on purpose? Are we truly trusting the Lord with all of our heart? How are we submitting to God? Are we fearing God and staying away from temptation? Are we being faithful with what God has placed in our hands?

Be Life Followers When we don’t nurture our faith and our relationship with our Heavenly Father, we can be easily deceived. We can’t just say we are Christians and go to church every Sunday, or even be on the leadership and pastoral teams but not be live followers of Jesus.

Think of Adam and Eve in the garden and how easily they were deceived because their focus shifted from God and over to the serpent for just a moment. The enemy lied to them, and He lies to our identity every day.

When we understand that we are His sons and daughters, we know that the Father has everything that we will ever need.

But when we don’t, we are like orphans who are just looking to get their own needs met.

We need to have the kind of faith that makes us so committed to God that no matter what comes our way—relationship, work, business, friends, anything—we will remain faithful.

Three Ways to Truly Live by Faith

1

SURRENDER WHOLEHEARTEDLY: Not like the people of Israel—they had a slave mentality that they went in circles for 40 years! God promised them a land that would flow with milk and honey. He wanted to bless them, but they lost their focus and wanted to do their own thing and fulfill their own fleshly desires. They put their faith on other things and even on other people! Joshua and Caleb entered the promise land “late” because they hung out with the wrong people. If you surround yourself with the wrong people and let them influence you, your promises from God may be delayed or simply won’t be available for you anymore. There is a big difference between ministering to people and letting them influence you. We need to trust God! LET GO, LET GOD!

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BE ALL IN: You’re either all in for God, or you’re not. We cannot be lukewarm. Doing what’s right is crucial, so always operate with integrity. This is something you can’t hide; people know when you are being real or not.

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SEEK THE FULFILLMENT OF YOUR PURPOSE: Everything comes at a price. You should pay whatever price that is, whether it be a call to serve, to engage in ministry or some other assignment. Judas, one of Jesus’ disciples, wanted to have intimacy without covenant. He was in the relationship with Jesus for what he could get out of it. His actions of betrayal reflected that. The Bible states, “In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.” James 2:17 Our connection to the Father brings Love, Grace, and Purpose. His unconditional love is always there for our hearts and forgives us daily. We receive grace through Jesus so that we can have hope for salvation and eternal life. Our purpose has a lot to do with who God connects us to for His glory and the expansion of His Kingdom.

So at the end of the day, when you look at how God works in your life and what He has called you to do, be sure to step back and ask yourself: How is your faith?■ July 2017 Issue

23

Faith

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Faith

I

Barren.

Finding

Refreshment in

Barrenness

By Kimberly Solomon

t’s such a heavy, sometimes sad word. The definition of barren, according to Google is, “too poor to produce much or any vegetation. synonyms: unproductive, infertile, unfruitful, sterile, arid, desert “barren land”.” We have all dealt with barrenness in some shape or form, which is what I will be discussing in this twopart article. What in your life seems to be barren?

What in your life seems to be not producing? I say seems because it may just be your perception. It may be that you are looking at things in your life incorrectly. I went through a season of looking at my life wrong. I thought because of a bad doctor’s report and issues in my life that my life was barren.

Yet, in truth, I was fruitful and producing in places that I didn’t even recognize.

God desires for you and I to prosper and be in excellent health in all that we do. This includes your personal connection with Him and your external relationships. He desires for you to live in the realm of fulfillment and love, not one of lack and hate. It all starts with a choice on your part—a choice of faith and hope. He has already chosen you, now declare and decree that you are His daughter, the apple of his eye, and accept all the many benefits that come along with having the Father of all creation as yours!

Barren, it was a word I remember hearing.

I was sitting in the doctor’s office when she sat down in front of me and told me that I wouldn’t be able to have any more children. I already had two children out of wedlock, and had prayed to break my generational curse and give birth to one child once I was married. For several minutes, neither one of us spoke and there was a deep silence in the room.

I had been diagnosed with cervical cancer a year before getting this news. I’d undergone procedure after procedure, trying to save my life.

The end result—I would never be able to conceive again.

I was still single then, so the doctor’s sad news didn’t fully sink in, but I was still devastated. I ran to my car and cried alone. I didn’t have anyone July 2017 Issue

25

Faith to confide in and I was afraid to tell my mother. I thought for sure that God was punishing me because of all the sins that I had committed. My virginity was taken when I was twelve years old, and that led me into a lifestyle of sexual impurity. I was rejected in church when I tried to praise dance, so I believed the enemy when he told me that dancing in clubs would be okay. That led me to believe him when he told me that working as a stripper was also okay. I believed him when he told me that if I didn’t get completely naked, it wasn’t sinning. For twenty years, I was on a repetitive cycle of doing right and then doing wrong.

In 2012 my life changed for real. I began to hear from God like I never had before and it caused me to do things that I had never done before—good things, not the bad choices I had made in the past. The most important thing I did was trust and obey Him. In April of 2012 I was sent to Tampa for a six-month military deployment, a change God had been preparing me for since the beginning of the year.

In January, I had been sitting in church and heard God tell me to give the largest offering that I had ever given. God told me that this offering would be a sacrificial seed but I didn’t know what that meant at the time. In my head, I heard the scripture about the widow woman who gave all that she had. Before I wrote my check, I asked God over and over just to make sure.

I bargained with God, telling Him that if the music stops playing before I fill out my envelope, His message must not be meant for me. Well, the music didn’t stop playing. The pastor kept saying, “we are waiting on just one more person.”

I kept watching as other people passed me. I finally got enough strength to write $30 on the envelope. As I began to get up, I heard God speak again. He didn’t want my $30; He wanted all that I had in my wallet. This was not a good time to ask for all I had in my wallet. I had just taken out $300 and had nothing else left. I went back and forth with God for what seemed like hours.

The music kept playing. God didn’t budge and neither did I until I felt a peace come over me. I crossed out $30 and instead wrote $300. How could I do that in my financial barrenness?

As I walked to the stage, it felt like the last mile of a thirty-mile run. I took my time. All I wanted to do was drop off the envelope and get back to my seat and think about what just happened. Of course, God is always one step ahead. When I approached, the pastor stopped the music and said, “This is who I was waiting on.” He turned over my envelope and said, “Young lady, you haven’t written on the envelope what you are asking God for.” He handed me a pen and I wrote: I want my Godly

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I began to hear from God like I never had before and it caused me to do things...” husband to find me. (Proverbs 18:22 - He who finds a wife finds a good thing. And obtains favor from the LORD).

I didn’t fully understand what I was writing but I knew that God had a purpose and plan for myself and my future husband.

My job was to get in line with His will. I walked away from that altar with a feeling of such release and peace! Just a few months later in April of 2012, I met my husband Keith Solomon and we got married that September.

Before we got married, I told my husband about the doctor’s report and he confidently said, “Don’t worry about it. I’m a curse breaker and you are too!” My husband was right, and God has been so good to us. Since my dire diagnosis, we have had two children. My first pregnancy was twins. Sadly, one twin didn’t make it, but I still delivered a handsome baby boy. Then, three years later, I was pregnant again and delivered a beautiful baby girl. I was now the first generation to get married and have children in wedlock.

So much of my life has felt barren in the past but once I put my faith in God and learned to give everything over to Him, He blessed me with fruitfulness and more than I could have ever dreamed. Next issue, look for my five tips to overcome the feelings of barrenness in your own life—and find the refreshing peace that only God can bring.■

July 2017 Issue

27

Business

Refreshing theWorkplace

By Jodi Avery

Recharge, motivate, reignite, energize, revitalize!

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M

ost people during their careers spend more time at work than they do anywhere else except for sleeping, so why not keep yourself and your employees motivated and recharged. I have found taking time out of the work week to de-stress, not only refreshes your employees, but it reboots your business and customer service.

As a business leader, I like to make sure my employees are taken care of, which means doing something a little extra for them every now and then. It’s not only my job, but it’s also something I believe the Bible tells us to do in Proverbs 11:25 (NIV), “A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.”

It is a priority of mine to make sure those who work with me know how much I appreciate what they do, and their loyalty to my business. Everyone needs to feel appreciated in order to perform at their highest and best, and in a business highly focused on customer service, interactions between my team and clients are very important.

Giving my assistants something to look forward to, where we can relax and reboot as a team is ideal in keeping spirits high, providing prime customer service, and making sure we don’t get overwhelmed by the usual stresses of a fast-paced working environment. This reboot benefits everyone, including our clients.

I know it’s been beneficial for my team and me, so I thought I would share some of the things we do that have been a lot of fun, and extremely rewarding in both our personal and professional lives. It’s not something we do all the time, but I try to do something at least once a month to get recharged and bond as a team.

1. Reboot with good food. We all love to eat, and there is nothing that brings people together like good food. Take your employees out to lunch to let them know you appreciate them. If you can’t go out for lunch have it catered in, or maybe do a dessert/coffee bar or bring in the Kona Ice truck one afternoon.

2. Get pampered. Who doesn’t like to be pampered, especially during the work day? Relax, Refresh, Renew! Take your employees to a local spa or bring the spa to your office. Reboot, take a break from work, and get pampered.

Business 3. Get outdoors. Let out some of your energy and try something your team wouldn’t normally go do. What better way to get the adrenaline pumping than with skeet shooting. We recently went to a local sporting clay location where we enjoyed some skeet shooting and archery.

4. Have fun with nature and animals. Our team decided to go horseback riding one afternoon. It was a beautiful day and animals can be so calming and relaxing. The tranquility of nature helps you relax and renew.

5. Give a shopping spree. Take your team to the mall and give them a shopping spree with gift cards or cash! They will surely enjoy this.

This past Christmas, I took my team on a holiday shopping spree at the mall. It was a blast.

A little workplace appreciation can go a long way!

We can’t forget about taking care of ourselves and making sure we are refreshed too. A good leader needs to be at their best to help others.

Here are some of the things I love to do during the week and maybe you would enjoy.

They make me feel revitalized and ready to conquer whatever I have going on that day or week.

• Treat yourself to a manicure & pedicure • Relax with foot reflexology or foot massage.

• Enjoy a great cup of coffee or buy one for someone else • Swing in a hammock • Get extra sleep I prepare for a relaxing evening by putting on comfortable pajamas, turning on my essential oil diffusor, taking a hot bubble bath, and putting all cell phones and electronics away. Giving yourself a relaxing night and some extra sleep is a key in rebooting.

I want to leave you with my favorite quote from Mother Teresa, which is something I strive for every day, “Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God’s kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.”

July 2017 Issue

29

Fitness

My Not-So-Secret Strategies for Weight-Loss

By Faye Adams

“E

at less. Exercise more.” If you were to ask most people what the secret is for weight-loss, this would be the popular answer. While that is definitely part of it, there is actually way more to weight loss—in a good news kind of way.

In January 2017, my husband and I decided to buckle down and make some changes in our health and fitness. Although I was going to the gym pretty regularly before this, my diet was off track. I was eating well some days and indulging in unhealthy foods on others. I was basically maintaining my weight (which at my height was overweight) and spinning my wheels at the gym, struggling to burn off calories from unhealthy eating and not making much, if any, progress. Then a local fitness company offered a prize for people who wanted to participate in their weight loss and fitness challenge.

1

Find Your Motivation With a transformation challenge and a grand prize of $100,000 on the table, we found our motivation to begin. The thought of getting back on track and regaining your willpower is always exciting, until your mind says things like, “But now you won’t be able to enjoy food anymore.” It’s a lie that many of us unfortunately swallow. Wrong thoughts that aren’t “taken captive” (2 Cor. 10:5) can derail us from our goals.

2

Have Support & Count Calories Being a good follower, I allowed my husband to take the lead and help me when it came to mapping out my nutritional goals.

While he didn’t plan my daily meals, he did give me a good baseline of how many calories I should consume. I started around 1500* calories, and kept a record of the foods I ate on an app.

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Regaining your willpower is always exciting.”

3

Become Intentional in Food Choices In addition to avoiding desserts and unhealthy options, we became more intentional about when we consumed carbs and the kinds we consumed. We carb cycled (look for more of this in the next issue of SCW). Why? Well, carb cycling is an effective tool for promoting weight-loss. It basically keeps your body from always depending on carbs and proteins for energy and pulls from fat, which is what we are really aiming to lose in the weight-loss process.

4

Eat for Carb Days On carb days (which always included exercise), I could enjoy healthy carbs for breakfast, lunch, and as a snack, but I avoided them at night. A protein and a good serving of vegetables were nightly dinner staples. Carbohydrates tend to spike your insulin levels, and when consumed at night with no exercise after, they add to weight gain.

Fitness 5

Eat for Carb Deplete Days On carb deplete days (low-carb days), I would eat a solid protein source for breakfast, have vegetables and protein for lunch and dinner, and a protein shake and healthy fat source as a snack.

My carb deplete days were typically designated as rest days from exercising, and I typically took Sunday and Thursday off from exercise.

6

Exercise for Weight Loss and Building Lean Muscle One of my favorite and main forms of exercise was cardio. Cardio is an effective tool for those wanting to lose body fat. You can choose from many options—running, cycling, elliptical machine. I took a cycle class four times a week. When I started to plateau, I added another cardio session in the evening. Whichever form of cardio you choose, it’s important to just start. Don’t be concerned if you only last five minutes. Trust me, I’ve been there too. It’s about making daily progress, getting stronger, and not giving up. Anyone can give up…and stay where they’ve always been. But not you! Your confidence, your success, and your future are worth more than temporary feelings of quitting.

So, work at it day by day and you will see yourself improve.

I also became more intentional about using weights to work specific parts of my body. You can see more about my workout plan in the next issue of SCW.

7

Maintaining a Lifestyle of Health and Fitness We all want to look and feel our best, but there are a few things that sometimes stand in the way of our progress. The biggest ones are our thoughts and our understanding. So, along with changing your way of eating and exercising, be prepared to change your way of thinking, finding the support that is crucial to success through prayer and education on maintaining a sustainable health and fitness lifestyle. That creates the best version of yourself that you’ve always wanted to be.

Will there be days when you want to give up? Days when you think you aren’t making any progress at all? Absolutely.

But if you turn your eyes to Heaven and ask God to give you the strength you need to endure, you will accomplish your goals and become a redefined version of yourself! In body and also in mind. Look for work out and meal plans in the next issue! *Each person begins at a different caloric level (where you maintain your current weight with the number of calories you

It’s about making daily progress, getting stronger, and not giving up.” consume. You can determine your current caloric intake by tracking everything you would normally eat for a full week. Then after you have established how many calories it takes to maintain your current weight, begin dropping your calories by 200- 300.

Weigh yourself every four days, and keep your calories the same until the scale stops moving and your weight plateaus. If you are still losing weight during this process, this is good! You want to continue eating that quantity of calories as long as you can while still losing weight. Only drop your calories by 200- 300 when your weight sticks, and only until you finally reach the ultimate healthy maintainable weight. God beautifully designed our bodies for survival, so when we are looking to lose weight we need to change things up—whether in calorie consumption or increased exercise to get our bodies to change as well.■ Disclaimer: This article was shared by one of our contributors from her personal experience of how she made a 20-pound weight-loss transformation. Always consult your doctor before beginning any exercise or weight-loss plan.

July 2017 Issue

31

Beauty ‘Tis the season to be

golden and glowing!

By Jessie Campbell

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D

o you find yourself daydreaming of summer time rolling in, the sun shining, waves crashing, and that beautiful sun kissed glow? If so, let me let you in on some summertime secrets towards becoming that golden goddess! Natural shades with a pop of color screams summer! A bright, bold lip can accentuate that golden tan. Coral, orange, bright red, hot pink will all look gorgeous with that sun kissed skin.

To be a golden goddess you don’t have to lay out in the sun and bake. Yes, you read that correctly. The skin on our bodies is the largest organ we have and it’s extremely important to take care of it. Always make sure to apply SPF and moisturizer to your skin daily, no matter your skin type.

If you’re looking to skip the baking and lingering sunburns there are a variety of bronzers, tanning

Beauty lotions and sprays to choose from. Get that glow with out damaging your skin from the suns ultraviolet rays. First exfoliate, then moisturize and apply your choice of sunless tanning products. And of course, drink plenty of water to keep your skin hydrated.

Once you have exfoliated, moisturized, and applied your tanning products your skin will be on its way to achieving that beautiful golden tone. During the day, I’d say stick with neutral shades. Apply some beachfront bronzer on the places where the sun would normally hit to give you that glow. Lip bonbons have everything you need to keep your lips hydrated, nourished and even add a hint of color! Transform your look to evening by adding that pop of color we talked about! Go for a bright, bold lip! Coral, hot pink or a bright red will surely bring out that beautiful sun kissed skin!■

To be a golden goddess you don’t have to lay out in the sun and bake.”

July 2017 Issue

33

Fashion

Modesty is a

Verb

We aren’t called to draw attention to ourselves.”

By Karen Gillman

...It’s a daily decision to dress.”

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odesty begins as an attitude and is refined by the fruits of the spirit. As one’s fruit, so to speak, ripens, so too does the desire for mature modest refinement. You see, modesty isn’t just portrayed in the clothing we wear. It’s in the impression we leave with others.

It first comes across in our appearance, but is solidified by our words, our mannerisms and our actions. True modesty gives a good first impression and leaves an impeccable, lasting one.

Think of the most modest person you know. What thoughts are conjured up? Humility? Self-awareness? Self-control? Perhaps, certain refrained behaviors? A defined elegance? Webster’s dictionary classifies modesty as a noun, but in fact, when you think about it, it’s really a verb. An actionable choice.

Modesty is more than a fashion statement. It’s a daily decision to dress, and even more importantly, act, like the child of God you are chosen to be. In our culture, however, when the word modesty is mentioned, we immediately think of fashion.

You can use your clothing choices as a means of expressing your

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choice to be modest and to communicate that message at first impression. If you’d like to dress more modestly, here are a few simple guidelines to follow: • Neckline—is it cut too low? Too revealing? Does it show cleavage?

• Hemline—is it too high? Does it reveal too much skin?

• Backdrop—is it cut too low? Does it reveal too much skin?

• Fabric—is it too clingy? Too slinky?

• Style-does it remind others of any actions that do not honor God, my spouse, my family, or myself.

We aren’t called to draw attention to ourselves. We are called to draw attention to God. So, how does a woman remain strong and courageous while still remaining modest? By allowing the reflection of her heart to lead her instead of letting the glass mirror she stares into dictate her steps. Modesty comes from all parts of you—from the shirt you choose in the morning to the words you speak to the waiter or a friend. To accomplish this, a woman must have her heart changed before her clothing or attitudes ever will.

In 1 Timothy 2, after the apostle Paul says women should be modest in appearance, verse 11 states, “For women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do.” Modesty involves being attractive with the good we do in the world—and the goodness that flows freely from a heart that is devoted to God.■

Fashion

July 2017 Issue

35

Books

Refresh While Reading a Good Book

By Martha Brangenberg Hosea 6:3 NLT: Oh, that we might know the LORD! Let us press on to know him. He will respond to us as surely as the arrival of dawn or the coming of rains in early spring.

The change of seasons is always a refreshing time and so is God’s response to us as we press to know Him better. We can learn more about God through reading His written Word straight from the Bible, through a devotional interpretation, a book that guides us closer to Him, or a story that weaves the truths of scripture into its plot. This issue, we’re talking about three different options for you to get closer to His word.

The Bible…

The One Year Bible Expressions A book from Tyndale gives readers a 15-minute daily reading that will cover the whole New Testament scripture in one year. The wide margins have plenty of room for writing down inspired notes from God while you read. There are over 100 ready-to-color images are spread throughout the book, lending itself to creative expression, which is exactly what the title promises!■

Devotional God Glimpses from the Jewelry Box This brilliant little 30-day reading

by Michelle Cox and John Perrodin walks you through common items in your jewelry box and makes a spiritual correlation. Through clever symbolism, scripture, and thoughtprovoking questions you can see the beautiful message that God has for you each day. A similar book to this one is God Glimpses from the Toolbox. Together, these books are a great pair.■

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Guide book Getaway with God Children Like most women I know, the thought of getting away alone to be with God is inviting but sometimes leaves us ridden with guilt when we think of all the things we need to do for our families. Author Letitia Suk makes the point that we wouldn’t think twice about spending a day at the mall, therefore, why can’t we give God a day to draw us closer to Him? Getaway with God lays out the ideas, creates a possible schedule, and shows why this retreat with Him is a must in our lives.■

Novel Fragile Hope Transported into the lives of Cynthia Ruchti’s characters, it’s as though I walked by their side through the pages. Fragile Hope is filled with deep nuggets of faith, relationship, and love. After reading this book, I will never be the same.■

Books

July 2017 Issue

37

Writing

What Completing a Half Ironman Taught Me

L

By Shirley Jump

ast year, I completed my first Half Ironman race in Augusta, GA. For the 99% of the people who are sane enough not to do triathlons, a Half Ironman is comprised of a 1.2-mile swim, a 56-mile bike ride and a 13.1-mile run, completed in under 8 ½ hours. An 8 ½ hour workout? That’s insanity!

I’m the girl who failed gym class. I had no coordination, and failed those weird flexibility tests where you put your legs in a box and reach forward. I never participated in a single sport, and was always the last one picked for dodgeball.

Five years ago, I started running. I was stressed and depressed and my therapist pretty much ordered me to go to a gym. Then I moved to Florida and my friends talked me into triathlons. Which meant swimming. Getting on a bike.

I was terrified of both. Horrible experiences in the ocean as a kid had me scared of the water, and a really bad bike crash (on train tracks, while the train was coming), had me terrified of the bike. It took me months to work up to swimming a mile, six months to work up to riding 30 miles on the bike and not wanting to die afterwards.

Then one of my friends said, hey, let’s do a half Ironman.

I didn’t want to be the wimp who said no, so I said sure, too.

How hard could it be, right? Ha. Little did I know. In my nine months of training, I put 3000 miles on my bike, ran 600 miles and swam 111 miles. And I learned a lot, mostly about myself, and about my journey as a person and as a writer, and about my ability to trust God when things got tough.

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The Journey is Hard: It took nine months to work up the endurance and fitness I needed. Nine months of tough workouts, many in the heat of a Florida summer. I’d ride 65 miles, go run a couple miles, then swim a mile. It was incredibly hard, and there were many times when I was the slowest in the group.

When I started writing, I wrote 10 books in 8 years before I sold my first one. Many times, I didn’t know if I had the strength to finish another book or send out another query letter, only to get rejected. Like with the workouts, I’d often stop to pray for direction, for strength, for God’s help.

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2

Friends who Suffer with You are Invaluable: I had amazing friends who got up at 4 in the morning and rode 30 miles with me. They’d cheer me when I had a good day, shore me up when I had doubts, run with me when I wanted to quit. And they competed with me in Augusta, making the entire experience a lot like being with family.

In my writing career, I’ve had friends who have been there for plot ideas and for tough days. They truly are my writing world family, and I don’t know how I’d do it without them. Knowing I had them, and God, to rely on made it all much easier.

Writing

July 2017 Issue

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Writing

On race day, nothing went perfect.”

3

You Have to Dig Deep to Get Gold: When I first signed up for the race, I was slow in all three disciplines and no matter how I did the math, it came up with not fast enough to make the 8 ½ hour cutoff time. So I stepped up my training. I found that I could do so much more than I thought I could, and that if I dug deep, that mental fortitude was there. I would pray sometimes as I was in the middle of a tough hill, asking for strength, for a reminder that I could do it.

I’ve done the same thing with my writing career. I want each and every book to be better than the one before. To do that, I have to dig deep. It takes a continual drive to be better, as well as a reliance on God to give you the tools you need when you need them.

4

It’s Good to Not Feel Ready: In the weeks leading up to the race, I fretted about whether I was ready. I knew I could do the swim and bike but it was the run afterwards that worried me. If you want to know how hard that part is, go ride your bike around the neighborhood for say, an hour, then get off and run as hard as you can for thirty minutes. The only thing I knew to do was train and pray.

There are many, many times in my writing career when I haven’t felt ready for the challenge thrown at me. Every single time I sit down to write a book, I have this little moment of panic. I first think to myself that I don’t even know 85,000 words, never mind have the ability to put them together cogently. Then I take a deep breath, remind myself that I have done this 60+ times already, and that the training—the instincts of how to write a book—are all there in my gut, and all I have to do is trust them and God.

5

Celebrate Your Achievements: On race day, nothing went perfect and the conditions were far from wonderful. But I kept on plugging, and crossed that finish line in 7 hours and 24 minutes, five minutes ahead of my dream time. I sobbed when they put the finisher’s medal around my neck.

My writing career is solitary. I write at home, with no one to hear me but my dog and cat. I see a book hit the bestseller list and my dog is unimpressed. I sign a new contract and the cat waits by her empty food bowl. I still celebrate those achievements, even if it’s with something small like a donut or a sunset beach jog. At the end of the day, I always give thanks to God, for the abilities He has blessed me with, because without Him, none of this would have been possible.

At the end of the day, I know I am capable of so much more than I ever thought I was. I am stronger than I knew, and I have Him to thank for all of it.■

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July 2017 Issue

41

Culinary

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Culinary

Berry Cookie Cobbler

By Linda Bull • • • • •

Ingredients 2 12oz. bags mixed berries, thawed 1 21 oz. of apple pie filling 1/3 cup sugar 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon 1 roll prepared sugar cookie dough

Directions Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a large bowl, mix berries, apple pie filling, sugar & cinnamon. Transfer fruit mixture to an 8x8x2-inch square baking dish. Crumble cookie dough over fruit, covering completely. Bake uncovered about 45 minutes or until cookie crust is golden and crisp and juice is bubbling, Serve warm with vanilla ice cream on the side. Enjoy!■

July 2017 Issue

43