Nonprofit Gabriel's Light aims to aid in the prevention of youth suicide for National Suicide Prevention Month - op-ed

Gabriel joined our family through adoption. We enjoyed a relationship with his birth family in Ethiopia and visited every few years.

A happy, outgoing baby, little boy and pre-adolescent, Gabriel shared a bright smile with everyone around him. As a 7th grader, Gabe was social, involved and academically strong. Gabe recently had been a Lollipop Kid in the St. Clement School play “The Wizard of Oz Jr.” with his older sister Maeve, who was Auntie Em.

Our lives were turned upside down on Nov. 14, 2018 when we lost Gabe to suicide. It seemed like a normal Wednesday: homework and piano lessons. Gabe didn’t make it to his piano lesson that day. Our family could not have been more shocked and unprepared.

Eighteen months ago, we started Gabriel’s Light with the hope that others may learn and grow from the tragedy of losing our 12-year-old son Gabe to suicide. A few key learnings that we would like everyone to know:

1. Suicide is the second leading cause of death for youth ages 10-24.

2. 80% of suicidal youth tell a peer of their plans. Not a parent or sibling. Therefore, kids need to know the warning signs, and what to do if a peer shares at-risk thoughts. www.gabrielslight.org/blog/risksigns-suicide

3. Certain circumstances tend to precede a child’s suicide. There is never just one circumstance but largely an intersection of the child’s mental health, prior suicidal behavior, trauma, combined with problems at school, with the family or with other peers. A third of the children had a specific mental health concern identified prior to their suicide, most commonly ADHD or depression. Open communication with parents & kids is a must. Being extra alert that a mental health condition already exists is very important. Your pediatrician is your first source of assistance. As a parent, if you have a hunch something is wrong, contact your pediatrician and a therapist for your child to see.

4. Kids spend a huge amount of time on devices…it is very important that parents establish ground rules for the devices. In addition, utilizing a device-monitoring software can save parents lots of time and provide valuable feedback of what kids are looking up, talking about etc… Gabriel’s Light recommends Bark technology. Bark is free for schools and there is a monthly fee for families. Bark sends alerts to schools and parents of risky behavior (depression, suicide, violence, etc.) utilizing algorithms that understand the ever-changing landscape of technology, acronyms, and slang. www.gabrielslight.org/blog/ parental-controls.

5. Kindness is so very important. Everyone, especially youth, need to feel included in social groups, families, etc. Bullying still exists and cyber bullying is something that we all need to stay on top of. Being kind to yourself comes first. Treating yourself as well as you treat your best friend or favorite relative is a good starting point. In a world where you can be anything, “be kind” is a favorite saying of Gabriel’s Light. www.gabrielslight.org/blog/kindness-cards and www.gabrielslight.org/blog/back-to-school and www.gabrielslight.org/blog/ shine-the-light-campaign.

6. Montelukast/Singulair- In March, 2020 FDA began requiring a Boxed Warning stating that serious mental health side effects that may include suicidal thoughts or actions have been reported in patients taking the asthma and allergy medicine montelukast (Singulair) www.fda.gov/drugs/drug-safety-and-availability/fda-requiresboxed-warning-about-serious-mental-health-side-effects-asthmaand-allergy-drug. Parents need to understand the risks of allergy and asthma medication, and ensure that they are necessary.

There is more information on our website: gabrielslight.org.

Carol Hufford Deely President + Founder, Gabriel’s LIght www.gabrielslight.org