Halloween Edition - Oct-Nov 2018
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HALLOWEEN EDITION
Halloween Edition - Oct-Nov 2018
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85 Devonshire Hill Gardens Brandon looked on from afar, his camera set to record. The footage he had caught the night before had left him with an insipid taste in his mouth and the lack for food in his stomach. Brandon had loved films for as long as he could remember, his mother gave him his first camera when he was six and he had quickly fallen in love with the idea of being a director. His passion for film making had taken a different route as he grew older, people stopped understanding his want for art. For his 13th birthday, Brandon’s father had built a film studio in the attic; Brandon loved that attic. The studio usually felt frosty and incredibly lonely, not today. There were old cassette tapes scattered everywhere covering all of the mahogany-polished shelving units and the solitary light bulb hung from the ceiling, flickering in the damp, isolated space. Brandon had used large film lighting in order to perfect the scene. The studio in the attic was so acutely set up that one would have to wonder whether Brandon’s studio was in fact a perfectly assembled set. Brandon loved the silence, he was able to be at one with himself and fully immerse in his own thoughts. He felt empowered, almost limitless as if no one in this entire world could touch or harm him. As he stared through the window at the suburban street below, and the golden and mauve coloured leaves that lay on the ground, Brandon knew he had achieved something incredible in the arts the night before. The cold sleet in the air had left a foggy dew on the window, Brandon felt a scintillating warmth rush through his body as he looked at the cold, autumn world that lay outside his window. He reminisced about childhood memories he had once filmed on that street; the time he had fallen in the snow before testing his new sword on a helpless kitten he had found or the time he had tied a pigeon to the tree and time-lapsed its demise. He loved that street. His film making had really developed in the last few months, he had made vast improvements to his camera equipment thanks to the part-time job he had obtained at the bowling alley in a run down area of the city and the fact that he didn’t need to pay rent; even though his parents had tried to force him to move out, now that he was 43. The sleet on the window had a dreamy effect on Brandon. “You need to get a job! You’ve not got the talent to fulfil your passion and your father and I don’t want to fund this shit anymore!” He struggled to comprehend what he was hearing. “I told you, I will be successful in film, I love the arts! I’m begging you to support me through this” “Don’t be such a fool, we have supported you for the last 40 years and I’m sick of it. You are a useless, waste of space and until you venture out into the world and stop lazing around then I refuse to call you my son!” Brandon remembered how those words had made him feel, how they had given him the idea for his greatest project to date. He had worked three long years for this moment and it had finally come to fruition. For the first time in his life Brandon was proud of himself. He really did love the arts, Brandon remembered the first film he had ever made and how his community had supported him. His parents had been so proud of his work. 30 years had passed since that film and as he grew older his want for art had developed a more controversial tone. His films were no longer accepted, and his parents were no longer proud. He had been referred to as “sick”, but Brandon knew that he felt complete in his own skin, he was the only person he could truly confide in. He dreamed of winning an Oscar for his creation, finally being accepted for his talent. Deep down he knew though that no one would enjoy his newest project but the pure satisfaction he took from creating it made it feel worthwhile. His art form was truly one of a kind. Over the years, Brandon had come to grips with the fact that he wasn’t good enough to become financially successful in film making. Deep down the acceptance of defeat pushed him to succeed even more in his final project. His mother had never accepted his passion for the arts, she had hoped her son would work in the city. In some respects, Brandon had let her win, he had allowed her to make his passion a hobby. He smiled a terrifying smile into the camera, he knew he had had the last laugh. Brandon took out his old Nokia 3310 mobile phone from his pocket and dialled 999. “I would like to report a homicide at 85 Devonshire Hill Gardens” A calm and collected female voice replied, “Can you please describe the situation?” “Just come, you’ll know exactly what has happened when you arrive” Brandon dropped the phone to the floor, the room painted crimson. His mother’s lifeless head lying motionless in front of the recording camera. -
J-A DISOTTO
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EDITORIAL
Halloween Edition - Oct-Nov 2018
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Strathclyde Telegraph www.strathclydetelegraph.com
Dear friends,
Editor-In-Chief - John-Anthony Disotto
Hello. It’s me again.
Layout Editor - Alice Rigamonti
Whether you’re a student at the University of Strathclyde or picking up
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Strathclyde Telegraph for the first time at one of our many new locations
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Social Media Editor - Heather Mcilraith social@strathclydetelegraph.com
outside of campus: Welcome to Strathclyde Telegraph’s Halloween Edition. I’m going to try my very hardest to refrain from using puns and generic Halloween adjectives throughout this editorial, if I fail, I’m sure I’ll get haunted
News Editor - Frida Kaarbø Moen news@strathclydetelegraph.com
Features Editor - Linda Mohamed features@strathclytelegraph.com
by a lost soul outside the Graham Hills Building. Until then, I’ll continue to write about the terrifyingly good content that follows this introductory page. We’ve been working hard at ST putting together a collection of scary articles that include feature pieces where we look into the history of Halloween and cheap costume ideas that you’ve definitely never seen before; I swear I’m not a compulsive liar…please save my soul.
Arts Editor - Holly Mckie
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Our Film section looks at John Carpenter’s Halloween screening at GFT; I’m pretty sure Michael Myers isn’t real. There’s also my personal favourite piece
Film Editor - Maisie McGregor
which looks at why commercially successful horror and the good stuff very
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rarely mix. Arts includes creative writing for the first time and a spooky, pumpkin filled
Music Editors -
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poem. There’s also a classic literary review of Kafka’s Metamorphosis, beetle costume ideas anyone? Too original, thought so. We look into goth music culture and make it clear that satanic worship music
Podcast Editor -
isn’t just for 31 October.
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And last but not least we’ve got a one-time only student Horrorscope. Are you as cynical towards the stars as I am? This might (won’t) change your mind.
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Oh. Lest I forget, with the Halloween Edition comes the launch of the Strathclyde Telegraph Podcast. There’s exclusive content with the authors of our
If you have a complaint against Strathclyde Telegraph, please contact the Editor. If you feel you have failed to receive a satisfactory response, you can take the matter up with the VP Volunteering and Development vpvd.ussa@ strath.ac.uk *All photographs are used with the owner’s consent, or are used courtesy of Wikipedia’s fair use policy.
articles and some extra info just in case you can’t get enough of us. I can only speak for myself, but my voice is even more obnoxiously harrowing when heard out loud. Available on our website: www.strathclydetelegraph.com I want the three of you that have bothered to read this far into my horrifically bad editorial to proceed with caution. You’ve been warned.
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Halloween Edition - Oct-Nov 2018
NEWS
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Events on and around Halloween Halloween is just around the corner and that means there are plenty of events happening around campus. The Student Union will be hosting a ‘Halloween Fright Night’ on October 31. The Union will be filled up with DJs, Karaoke, various scary movies being screened across different floors, and a costume competition where the winner will walk away with a prize of £200. Tickets for the Union on Halloween night are being sold in advance on the Union’s website for £3. On the night of the event, tickets will be sold for £5 on the door whilst students with a Gold card will be able to enter for free. On October 26 there will be a screening of ‘The Rocky Horror Picture Show’, which will be hosted by the LGBT+ society in the Barony bar. Throughout October the University will continue to celebrate Black History Month, with a variety of movie screenings and workshops taking place in the Union. The photo gallery ‘Our (in)visible strength!’, was launched at the start of the month, and celebrates the contributions of African and Caribbean communities in Scotland. The display is located on level 6 in the union and will remain open for those who are interested until the end of October. “Remember, remember the 5th of November”, the free for all fireworks return to Glasgow Green for Guy Fawkes Night. From 5pm stalls with food and the funfair can be enjoyed until 9pm, with a big fireworks display starting at 7.30pm. BY JUSTIN BOWIE EDITED BY FRIDA KAARBØ MOEN
Halloween Edition - Oct-Nov 2018
The Commercialisation of Halloween When trying to decide whether to dress up as ABBA circa ‘Souper-Trouper’ or a cat for Halloween, it’s hard to think of the occasion as much more than an excuse to parade around in a costume and get drunk. Like many things in this century, Western society has commercialised and essentially exploited Halloween as a means of making money – similarly to the way we have commercialised Christmas, New Years, Easter (you name it). It’s almost impossible to set foot in a supermarket or scroll down your social media timeline without seeing any of these celebrations being sold to us. In a strange culture (where, in actual fact, there isn’t an awful lot of ‘culture’ per se) is there really any harm in the extensiveness to which we commercialise pretty much everything possible? We quite literally took the ‘Christ’ out of Christmas and replaced it with garish amounts of presents, steak pies, Bucksfizz and ‘elves on the shelves’ – or is that just me? Nevertheless, we manage to continually discover new ways to essentially exploit what were all at some point genuine holidays, and make them part of our ostentatious west-ward way of life.
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FEATURES
similar to the Halloween that we know today. However, the traditions of ‘Samhain’ stuck around and are still similar to how we celebrate today, like leaving out small gifts for the dead to keep your home protected and dressing up in special outfits. Particularly crucial in the commercialisation of Halloween were children. Much like Christmas and children simply go hand-in-hand, the same is said for Halloween. It’s the second biggest holiday in Western culture after Christmas: just in 2016, the British public spent £320 million on celebrating Halloween.
the most important religious celebration, but Halloween seems a bit stranger to tarnish with the same brush. Isn’t it all just a bit of fun? It would make you an insane person if you were to turn to a six-year-old and ask them why we NO ONE LIKED MY SELFIE! celebrate Halloween and expect the answer of “to appease evil spirits, to ward off sickness and ensure an ever so bountiful harvest” or “to protect my spirit from the wretched dead that roamed the Earth one night a year to steal souls”. The likelihood is that we all expect an understanding from children that Halloween is about dressing up in a costume, going Trick or Treating, proceeded by carefully removing the tangerines and monkey nuts from their sweet collections. Perhaps it’s not that Halloween is too commercialised, it’s that society has evolved, and so have traditions of livestock sacrifices and ceremonial dances. In this day and age, the public perceives the origin of this pagan holiday as something spooky and remote, even funny at times, and truth is, we must accept it. Personally, I won’t complain if Halloween is simply a money-grabbing ploy with scary films, pumpkin carving, abundances of sweets and ridiculous costumes like some say. I’d much rather have it that way.
Halloween is one of the oldest celebrations in existence. It originated as the last day of the Celtic calendar, called ‘Samhain’- ‘summer’s end’. It was a day to honour the dead, as well as a Harvest festival – just ever so slightly different to the dancing-pumpkin-meme frenzy that occurs on Twitter each October. The Celts believed the souls of the dead roamed the streets and villages at night, and because of this, gifts and treats were left out to pacify the evil spirits and ensure the following years’ crops would be plentiful. When Christianity came to the British Isles, many Pagan festivals were rebranded as Christian ones, and October 31st became ‘All Hallows Eve’, a name much more
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It’s easy to say that Halloween is commercialised – it’s simply factual. But is there such a thing as it becoming over-commercialised? I can un derstand other people’s frustrations at the overcommercialisation of Christmas given that it is
BY EMMA MALCOLMSON
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Halloween Edition - Oct-Nov 2018
FEATURES
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I Love Halloween But I Feel Pressure to Dress Up I will be first to admit that I love Halloween. The spooky decorations, the costumes, the sweets. Who doesn’t? As soon as October 1 st comes, the pumpkin string lights are hung up and the ghost ornaments begin to sneak into myghngc living room. However, one thing I dislike about this glorious time of the year is feeling pressured to dress up. It can be a daunting and expensive experience, especially if you leave it until the last minute like most students do. I’m definitely not the most patient when it comes to costume creation: I prefer something quick and low-effort. If you’re like me and have no fear – in my years of Halloween last-minute preparations, I have become rather good at costuming on a super tight budget and time frame. Here are five costume ideas under £10 that you can whip up in an hour or less.
1. Ceiling Fan One year, I went as a ceiling fan. I painted ‘Clydeside Ceilings’ on a cheap t-shirt and made a paper flag saying ‘Go Ceilings!’ as if they were a sports team. It doesn’t have to be neatly written or fancy, you can use a marker or some kids paint. It definitely got some laughs and some sighs.
2. Black Cat Nothing is more topical at this time of year than a black cat. Luckily, they are relatively simple to dress up as – all you need is a hair-band, some paper, a black eyeliner pencil and to wear some
black clothing. To make the headband, simply colour some black ears on paper using a marker, cut out and tape them to the hairband. Give yourself a cute wee nose and whiskers using the eyeliner pencil and off you go! If you’d prefer to buy the headband, Tam Shepherds Trick Shop on Queen Street is a great place to find Halloween accessories in Glasgow.
3. Ghost The spookiest of all traditional costumes, all you need for this is a cheap bedsheet. Primark sells single sheets for between £4 and £6. Cut out 2 eyeholes and pop over your head – you’re now all good to go. Please don’t drink your beer through the sheet though -it’ll get messy.
5. Nudist on Strike This is perhaps the easiest costume of all. Grab a piece of paper, a bit of string and write ‘nudist on strike’. Tape it to your string and wear it around your neck, and you’re done. Nudists famously don’t wear clothes, so feel free to wear as many as you’d like with this costume – it’s almost winter time, so double points for adding scarves and hats.
S ST , I D NU HTS RIG OW! N
PRIMARK bed sheets sale!
4. Bunch of Grapes All you need here is tape and a bunch of purple or green balloons. Blow up the balloons, tape them to yourself et voila! You now are your very own vintage (bonus points if next year you go as a bottle of wine).
Whatever your costume choice this year, I hope you all have a great time and it’d be amazing to see you use these ideas. Even if you don’t, go and enjoy some time with your friends regardless – that’s what it’s all about, after all. There are many events taking place to celebrate Halloween in Glasgow where you can showcase your amazing, low-effort creations. The spirit of Halloween lives in the home-made; regardless of effort put in, everyone appreciates a home-made costume.
BY AUDREY GILLIES
Halloween Edition - Oct-Nov 2018
FEATURES
I’ll Take Some Politics With My Horror, Please BY EMMA OLSSON BlackKklansman – Spike Lee’s latest feature which premiered this summer – is not a horror film. It lacks the tacit signals telling us when to scream such as ambient music and jump-scares. But, despite not following the list of horror conventions that our collective conscience has been memorising for decades, exiting the cinema after seeing BlackKklansman left me more rattled than many true-to-genre horrors. The last five minutes of the film didn’t require a script. No tricks were used to make us jump from our seats. Instead, the fear factor came from taking us out of the movie reality – one which, despite the drama of what we were witnessing, was filled with comedy – and straight into our own reality. And why is that scary? Because the real world is scary. So, while BlackKklansman isn’t a horror in the traditional sense, it leaves us with that same feeling that fuels the horror industry and keeps fans coming back for more: fear. Horror is great at making us think about the world around us. As a fan of the genre, I am well acquainted with the feeling of leaving the cinema in silence, my mind littered with new fears: fear of the unknown, of a man jumping out from
a bush as I walk home alone at night, of my own sanity (“what if the devil possesses me?”). However, if all horror films did was give us a new list of anxieties to harbor, we wouldn’t keep watching them. Somewhere, hidden in those ninety or so minutes of screams and gore and heartthumping, lies the ability for release. Watching a horror, we confront not only our fears, but our capacity to experience fear in this visceral way. We confront it, we feel it in all its glory and gore, and we let it go.
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poor dying at the hands of the rich, a black man confronted with racism at its most extreme, a woman forced to survive in the cruelest pits of misogyny. And disguised as terrifying villains and cinematic despots, we see a lot of Donald Trump. Some of these works (The Purge, Get Out) follow the traditional horror format, playing on the conventions of the genre to tell viewers that yes, this stuff is scary. Other works though, like BlackKlansman, don’t exactly fit the horror bill. And it’s not alone. The Hate U Give and Blindspotting, both set to premiere within in the next month, tackle the highly contentious issues of police brutality and institutional racism. The trailers lack creepy music and scary figures jumping out at yet unfold as mini-horrors in their own right, featuring the terrifying murders of young, black men at the hands of a police officer. As with BlackKklansman, these films become difficult to categorise: if a horror film is measured by its ability to make us feel fear, surely these films all make the cut. Injustice is scary, but it is also real; we either experience it ourselves or we witness it everyday. Unlike traditional scary movies, however, with these films we must question the validity of that moment of release. When the scary thing in the film ends, we can’t just forget about it. Not when this scary thing lives in the real world.
Something soothing lies in those few seconds right after the scary thing happens. The thing you’ve been fearing for the whole movie is suddenly gone and you’re still there, alive in its aftermath. This brings us to the topic of political horror. While not a new genre, it certainly has been experiencing a surge in popularity. The appeal of films like The Purge (so successful it spawned three sequels and a current TV series), the Academy Award-winning Get Out, and TV series’ such as American Horror Story: Cult and The Handmaid’s Tale should not be taken as a coincidence. Through them, we see what happens when governments run amok, encouraging us to harm and kill each other. We see the
While often maligned as the low-brow genre of teenage first dates, horror can offer us an interesting look into our own humanity. It reminds us of what we consider sacred: safety, security, the ability to live our lives without the fear of a villain threatening these sanctities. And whether that villain is a masked man with a butcher’s knife, a tyrannical president or a trigger-happy police officer, the fear remains the same. Maybe horror’s always been a bit political, after all.
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Halloween Edition - Oct-Nov 2018
FILM
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A Horror for Every Fear Are you needing a good scare this Halloween? Looking to be spooked without having to leave the comfort of the sofa? Here is a selection of five films curated to pinpoint your wildest fear; whether you’re scared of clowns or ghosts, these picks are sure to get you into the spooky spirit!
Fear of Aliens: Signs (2002) This tense science-fiction horror is expertly unsettling; starring Mel Gibson, the film takes place in a farmhouse in Pennsylvania where himself, his brother and two young children begin to notice strange occurrences. Animals become more violent, crop circles begin to appear outside their home and newscast footage shows a strange creature invading a birthday party in another town. To their horror, they soon realise the alien creatures are closer than they think…
Fear of Ghosts: The Others (2001) The Others is a goosebump inducing paranormal horror which uncovers the mysteries of a haunted family home. Nicole Kidman is Grace, a mother of two, living in the countryside. After a series of frightening experiences with the seemingly-supernatural, Grace and her children come to learn what’s causing these strange events in a harrowing plot twist. This film will have you at the edge of your seat as it comes to a terrifying climax.
Fear of Clowns: IT (2017) Based on Stephen King’s 1986 novel, IT focuses on a small town and a group of teenagers who all face different kinds of emotional disruption in their lives. Pennywise, the notoriously demonic clown, is a manifestation of the teens’ own personal horrors; after he begins to torment the town’s children, ‘The Losers’ Club’ decide to come together to rid the town of the clown once and for all.
Fear of Apocalypse: A Quiet Place (2018) Don’t make a sound or they’ll hear you! This post-apocalyptic horror stars Emily Blunt and John Krasinski, a couple faced with the task of protecting their children from biologically-superpowered monsters who kill anything they hear. Minimal dialogue and superb sound design work to intrigue and terrify, bringing a distinctively eerie atmosphere to the apocalyptic wasteland the film calls home.
5. Fear of Killers: A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) Fancy a good night’s sleep? That’ll be unlikely after watching 1984 horror: A Nightmare on Elm Street. After the dreams of a group of teenagers are interrupted by a disfigured man wearing a glove made of blades, it’s up to Nancy Thompson to stop the rest of them from falling asleep. The film is distinctly memorable for the harrowing and gruesome manner in which evil Freddy Krueger creeps up on the protagonists as he wages graphic violence on the teens, their nightmares soon become reality. BY COLETTE COOPER
Halloween Edition - Oct-Nov 2018
FILM
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An Interview With Josh Appignanesi BY NIAMH JOHNSTONE London-based director Josh Appignanesi is wellknown for his work’s intricate examinations of the human condition and the complexities of modern personhood. Female Human Animal, his latest project, is as surreal and dream-like as it is dark. Part psycho-thriller, part documentary, part surrealist artwork, it juxtaposes the real thoughts of artist Leonora Carrington with the fictionalised experiences of writer Chloe Aridjis. - The film views as if you’re watching a video tape. Was the whole film shot on a VHS camera or just the scenes with Chloe curating the exhibition and the archived footage of Leonora Carrington? We shot the whole film on VHS on these ancient, malfunctioning cameras from 1986. It’s beautiful, the look, to me. When you have a subject as nostalgic and romantic as someone like Chloe, with her whole outside-time aesthetic, the lurid gorgeous colours of VHS really support that neon romance. Also they make the artwork and archive sit nicely within the same universe too. - How did you meet Chloe Aridjis? When did you both decide you wanted to do a film together? We’ve been friends for years. When you know someone well, they’re fascinating and meaningful to you – can’t we render that on screen, in the way a novelist draws on friends for a book? The idea of a film was almost a joke to begin with but when she started curating the Leonora Carrington show at the Tate I thought “this could really be something: here’s the backbone and it’s also visually rich.” - Many of Chloe’s experiences in the film are known to women everywhere – from being spoken over and publicly undermined to far more sinister things like emotional manipu lation and assault.
In your opinion, how can more filmmakers create a discussion around these themes without resorting to gimmicky stunts or overshadowing the voices of survivors? I think we have to be aware of the way in which gimmicky stunts like, say, the whole “woman in peril” cliché, do continue to keep us watching despite ourselves. Even as part of us also turns off, or rolls our eyes. It’s not simply that they’re manipulative or lazy, even though they are also this. I don’t think it’s so easy to disentangle who we’d prefer to be politically from our unconscious desires and internalisations, which are always going to be perverse and confounding. And meanwhile, the opposite problem to perpetuating gimmicky exploitative stereotypes is to become boringly worthy, which no-one wants either. I guess you just have to work with what’s in our psyches in ways that acknowledges the complexity, rather than merely disavowing what’s in that soup. That’s what Female Human Animal tries to do. - ‘Female Human Animal’ blends the techniques and tropes of traditional ‘psychothriller’ movies with contemporary feminist
discourse. What scene are you most proud of and why? I like the date scene. The way they misunderstand or talk at cross purposes for me is really great and gets quite deep into the whole heterosexuality thing. I like the way the film paints heterosexuality, this supposedly normative model, as the most perverse and twisted of all orientations in a way. It sort of ‘queers’ heterosexuality. I like that.
Female Human Animal screened at Glasgow Film Theatre from the 19 th to the 21 st of October. For more information, visit glasgowfilm.org. Anyone aged between 15 and 25 can get a free card from GFT that entitles them to £5.50 tickets to any standard screening.
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Halloween Edition - Oct-Nov 2018
Halloween, Forty Years On BY EMMA OLSSON Halloween was my mother’s first and last horror movie. She would’ve been sixteen when it came out, but its mention still warrants shudders. “Terrifying,” she tells me. “Why would you want to see that?” This is where my mother and I differ: one of us (moi) can appreciate a good scare. It’s somewhat surprising then that before this week I’d never seen the original Halloween, John Carpenter’s 1978 horror staple. With a whole lot of built-up excitement, I entered the cinema expecting to be enchanted, transported to that both gritty and innocent seventies horror universe. What the film ultimately left me with, though, was just a lot to be desired. Halloween is the tale of Michael Myers (Nick Castle and Tony Moran), bogeyman incarnate, who escapes from an asylum, steals a nurse’s car, and books it to his home town of Haddonfield, Illinois. As you’ve probably already guessed, he isn’t there to hug grandparents or get drunk with old friends in the school car-park. He’s there to kill. The victims? A group of girls next door, stalked by Meyers in their comfy middleclass suburb. The girl who separates herself from the rest is Laurie (Jamie Lee Curtis), the well-mannered book worm and possibly cinema’s most famous babysitter. Without seeing the film, we can already guess how it’s going to play out, all screaming and knives and maybe a teen sex scene or two. In 1978, though, this wasn’t common script. So what’s aged well, and what hasn’t? The cinematography by Dean Cundey is firstclass, especially impressive in consideration of the film’s famously low-budget. The abundance of soft, floating panoramic shots is good enough to eat. We see a suburb decorated with autumn leaves, a world portrayed with realism but never at the expense of appearing stark or cold; cinematically, this world is very much alive. Lighting is treated with the utmost care, creating plenty of scenarios for Myers to emerge from the darkness as a terrifying, murderous ghost.
FILM If the technical quality doesn’t age the film, the misogyny does; sexist attitudes are a tedious presence throughout. Annie and Lynda – both characterised by their hot bodies and voracious sexual appetites – are the Girls Who Died Because They Like Sex™, a concept which has since become cemented within the horror genre. The ‘Madonna’ to Annie and Lynda’s ‘Whore’ is Laurie. “Guys think I’m too smart”, Laurie sighs as she grips an impressive amount of textbooks to her chest. It’s no surprise, then, that Laurie is the last one standing after the villain has killed everyone else. Her pragmatism and “good girl” ethos are what give her the power to survive when no one else can. I’m sure that these paradigms of horror didn’t feel as tired in 1978. I don’t want to cut the film too much slack, though. Slashers such as Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1973) pre-dated Halloween in its conceptualisation of the “final girl” convention. Likewise, Carrie (1976) featured female power in a far more nuanced – arguably feminist – light. Halloween may have set the standard for the suburban teen-slasher, but even as a fan of these films, I do have to question whether or not this is something to be proud of. Watching Halloween in a packed cinema in 2018, several scenes inspired laughter – there’s a part when Annie, after procuring the world’s smallest stain on her sweater, strips down and confusingly gets stuck in a window after locking herself in the laundry room, panty-clad ass in the air. And while we can all laugh at the absurdity of the male-gaze in these scenes, we can’t just chalk this up to cinema of yore. Is modern day horror any better? It may be subtler with its objectification, yes; but the impact of Carpenter’s prurient gaze is still something modern cinema contends with today. Halloween lives on through modern day slashers and kids trick-or-treating in a Michael Meyers mask, but it also lurks more subtly in other genres with its hypnotising and clever cinematography. Its cultural impact almost defies comparison, but how does this holiday classic translate forty years later to a horror-fan watching it for the first time? Well - maybe I should have listened to my mother. It’s John Carpenter: Master of Horror season at the Glasgow Film Theatre, perfect for anyone who wants to experience Carpenter’s cult classics on the big screen. Anyone aged between 15 and 25 can get a free card from GFT that entitles them to £5.50 tickets to any standard screening.
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Halloween Edition - Oct-Nov 2018
Highbrow Horror Many of the best critical performers in the horror genre today are dwarfed by the financial success of those which hold comparatively little critical credence. Whilst outliers such as A Quiet Place (2018) are both box office and critical successes, far more prevalent are bloated franchises packed with jump-scares, many of which appear to have been chopped up and reassembled in a slightly different order from their predecessors. But why do audiences opt for franchised offerings like The Nun (2018)? What makes them more profitable than critical successes Hereditary (2018) or It Comes At Night (2017)? We need only look at the Paranormal Activity franchise, an example of the formula A Quiet Place seems destined to fall victim to. The first movie in the series was a genre-changing hit with audiences and critics alike, grossing $139m against a meagre $15,000 budget. It earns the scares through a slow build of tension and use of disconcerting scenes such as the iconic moment its protagonist, Katie, wakes in the middle of the night to stand lingering over her bed for hours. By the time 2015’s The Ghost Dimension was released, everything the first entry had done successfully had been butchered. The franchise became a shambolic mess of jump-scares and was consequently slaughtered by critics. The root of this can be traced back to Paramount adding a new theatrical ending to the original which was included in the film’s wider release, a jump-scare finale as a setup for future instalments. Once the imagination had bled from the franchise in exchange for lazy moments of shock, Paranormal Activity became a safe financial investment. Similarly, franchises offer audiences the kind of safety that original-concept just can’t. The formulaic nature of franchised horror films grants ticket-holders a feeling of comfort and familiarity. Originality doesn’t always appeal when the option to step back into recognisable scares already exists. Take the recent entry into the Conjuring franchise, The Nun. The film’s effectiveness hinges solely upon whether you find the
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appearance of its titular character scary. After that, it relies upon jump-scares in order to frighten its audience. There’s little imagination offered up in these lazy attempts to frighten, and this transfers to the viewer. It’s momentary terror driven by a sudden intrusion of noise, often without an accompanying frightening image. Scared, we may be; but the feeling passes. We’re not asked to think too hard, and if we do we’re likely to dismantle a nonsensical plot. We leave the cinema with an adrenaline rush, but there’s
compelling depiction of a family unravelling in grief. It was billed as ‘this generations The Exorcist’ and yet, The Nun grossed nearly $300m more at the box office. Hereditary was also distributed by A24, with much of the promotional material portraying a more generic movie seemingly revolving around a disturbed child. There’s a correlation between packaging psychological horror films as formulaic and their poor performance with audiences. It suggests that we would rather take our chances with the spooky
little to dissect and no lasting effect on our psyche. In contrast, the horror of It Comes at Night is born from the unknown. It examines psychological degradation as one family struggles to maintain their humanity under threat of infection from an unseen enemy. The audience is given no information about the infection, we never see any creature or infected humans actively trying to hurt them. The tension is instead drawn out through a dubious friendship with another family and the resulting paranoia created. Unsettling imagery, an atmospheric soundtrack and its placing of characters under extreme duress linger long after the film ends. Yet, the marketing for the film by production company A24 presents it like a creature horror much more akin to 28 Days Later (2002). This year’s Hereditary issues a lethal injection of terror with its
Nun, which has a tangible presence, than the more abstract haunting presence of evil which is liable to linger in our minds. When presented with a film which is more challenging than initially promoted, audiences respond negatively. This goes some way to explaining why A Quiet Place enjoyed such universal success. It managed to blend unnerving imagery and a tense atmosphere with an accessible story. There is undoubtedly a place for both the jump-scare and more emotionally challenging horror. Whilst some films will lean heavily on one or the other, the best manage to combine them, earning the scares which service a story that audiences are invested in; allowing the horror to haunt us long after the closing credits. BY ANDREW MCKISSOCK
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Halloween Edition - Oct-Nov 2018
Can We Revive Dom Mitchell’s in the Flesh? BY DANIELLE RIDDELL About three weeks ago, I came across maybe the best news I had seen in a while. Dominic Mitchell, creator and writer of BBC Three’s In the Flesh tweeted: “Considering crowd funding for a #InTheFlesh 90min special. I know I said that was off the table, but something has to happen. Don’t give any money to unofficial sites. Will keep you all posted.” If you are not familiar with In the Flesh, allow me to explain: it aired from 2013-2014, spanning two series and nine episodes. It had it all: zombies, fantastic female characters, LGBT representation and, at its heart, an allegory for mental health which did not make me want to close my eyes and shrivel up into a little ball. It amassed a large fan following, won a BAFTA, and yet in 2014, months after its second season had aired, it was cancelled. What followed was a touching fan response: many of them began reaching out to other television networks on Dominic’s behalf; many started online petitions hoping to change the BBC’s mind; #saveintheflesh even trended worldwide on Twitter for a little while, though to no avail. Many fans even reached out to Dominic with the idea of crowdfunding a third series or a ninety-minute special in late 2014, which he was vehemently against. Four years have passed, however, and Dominic has, at the very least, become more open to this as a viable idea. I have found myself really amazed by the response to his tweet. Four years is a long time to hold a torch for a series, especially when you consider that the programme itself did not run for very long. However, this is evidence that In the Flesh really was (and still is) something special. When we think of zombie media, there is no escaping the truth that much of it is allegory for big subject matters: mental health; politics; society. But much of it is bogged down with tired character tropes and predictable plots. For many, In the Flesh was a breath of fresh air. The way the series approaches its subject matter, for example, is incredibly unique. We are not thrown
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into the midst of an apocalypse, rather we are thrown into the messy, uncertain aftermath of one wherein the dead have been medicated, rehabilitated and are in the process of being returned to ‘civil’ society. In doing so, we are given a clever commentary on a whole host of issues ranging not limited to coping with the prejudice some face for being different or post-traumatic stress disorder, just to name a few. After four years, it appears the audience’s ability to recognise these things in the storyline (and its characters) is what keeps them coming back to it. It is, perhaps, also what even keeps bringing in new fans. In recent years we, as viewers, have began demanding more from our television viewing in terms of representation and dignity. When we see a character on screen who is part of a minority, we want to see them treated with care, rather than with lazy stereotypes. When we are presented with someone who is suffering from a mental illness, we want the proper research done. Many of us want to feel represented in the media we consume as much as we want to escape into it. For many fans, In the Flesh did all of this. Dominic has been passionate about continuing his story since the moment the second series ended its air time. He has held that passion for the four years since, at times providing brief but engaging snippets into his thought-process, providing character titbits on social media to satisfy his fans and, perhaps, to keep gauging the interest. Over the course of four years, he has mirrored his audiences desire for more diversity, even in his own creation. As time continues to pass on, I admit that I do think it is important that he is allowed to continue this story. I think as time continues to pass, the audience which In the Flesh has maintained for four years does deserve closure. And by closure, I suppose I mean many things not strictly limited to a definitive end or the lingering questions still left unanswered: the continued connection to Dominic’s characters and the relevancy of the issues he places within his narrative, for example. I am optimistic he will find a way to continue: after all, at the very least, who doesn’t love a bit of zombie telly?
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#SAVE #SAVE IN THE THE IN FLESH FLESH
Halloween Edition - Oct-Nov 2018
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FEAR BY THE CANDLELIGHT BY COLETTE COOPER
The crunch of leaves and the smell of rain, The glow of the candle by the window. I follow the path, down the lane, And between the houses, I go. It’s darker now, the air is cold, I wrap my jacket round tighter. “Don’t worry now” - I was often told, “It’ll get a little brighter.” I long for the warmth of the toasty indoors, The faint glimmer I always admire. I long to hear those distant snores, Of sleepers by the fire. Yet I sludge through muck and damp and chill, My toes become quite numb. It can’t be far away now, up the hill, Until that warmth will come. I reach the front of the dampened mat, And swing open the door, in pain.
That Halloween, I strongly swore that, I’d never Trick or Treat again.
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Halloween Edition - Oct-Nov 2018
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‘Netflix and Chills’
Creepy TV Shows to Watch This Halloween BY PATRYK STEPIEN October, the best month of the year. A month dedicated to scaring people and being scared, at least that’s the original intent. Halloween is the very celebration of being weirded out and spooked. Even though partying is usually a large part of the Halloween season, some people prefer to stay home and enjoy cozy and terrifying fall evenings inside their homes, many of them watching Netflix. After all, there aren’t many things as fun as being scared. Netflix has a wide array of options to watch this October in its ‘Netflix and Chills’ theme – not the kind you are thinking – with shows ranging from outright slasher horrors to slow burn psychological thrillers. The following are some of my favorites this spooktacular season: Hannibal: This is a show I’m still bitter about because its life was cut short before it was properly finished. The show follows Will Graham, a gifted FBI profiler, who uses his skills to investigate various murder scenes. Graham is joined by the brilliant psychiatrist Dr. Hannibal Lecter who harbors a dark and grizzly secret himself. American Horror Story: AMS is an anthology series; each season has a different, unrelated plot that focuses upon different themes and characters as they deal with unsettling situations. Even though stories and characters change, the amazingly talented actors largely remain throughout the separate seasons. Even though I liked AMS, the quality as with any anthology series varies with each storyline with some stories working much better than others. Bates Motel: Bates Motel accomplishes the monumental task of being a successful modern prequel to a legendary Alfred Hitchcock thriller from 1960. The show takes place in a small coastal town of White Pine Bay where Norma Bates has relocated alongside her son, Norman, after her husband died. The show explores Norma and Norman’s close relationship as well as how it relates to him becoming the serial killer that he was in the original 1960 film. Whatever you decide to watch this Halloween, I hope you are ready to be spooked.
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Book Review: The Metamorphosis Franz Kafka’s most famous novella, The Metamorphosis, follows the life of Gregor Samsa, a traveling salesman, who wakes up one day to find himself transformed into a giant insect. Initially the transformation is purely physical, and Gregor merely has the body of an insect. However, as the novel progresses Gregor adopts more features associated with insects. He loses his taste for fresh food and happily eats rotting food that his sister brings him, he rests underneath a sofa and his voice changes to become unintelligible to others. Kafka creates a sense of unease through the whole story, especially with Gregor’s seemingly inexplicable transformation into a disgusting creature which is extremely unsettling. Following his transformation, society begins to reject Gregor and turn against him, and Gregor seems oblivious as to why everyone seems to be doing so. His standard of living continues to deteriorate and he slowly develops the more repulsive habits that a person would associate with insects. Eventually even his own family are glad to find him dead and look on the positive side of no longer having to have him around them. Seeing Gregor’s parent’s laissez-faire reaction to the death of their son is deeply unsettling. His family’s reaction to his transformation works to build the uneasy nature of the novel, perfect for this time of year. The Metamorphosis is an excellent read this Halloween for anyone looking for a classic with a more disturbing twist than most. Despite originally being published in 1915, its offering of horror and unease matches reasonably well with modern pieces in the horror genre. The book builds a sense of unease and leaves the reader feeling profoundly disturbed, similar to recent horror films like Hereditary, as well as older classics like The Wicker Man. The book certainly feels to me like it belongs in the horror genre more than a Saw film does. While I don’t often enjoy entertainment from this category, The Metamorphosis was an addictive delight. Reading the book certainly made me feel extremely unsettled, and I would be lying if I said it hasn’t set the mood for the rest of the Halloween season. BY ARCHIE GRANT
Halloween Edition - Oct-Nov 2018
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Hallowe’en Gigs and Events Whilst there are many bands coming to town this October, we cannot guarantee that all of them will coast in, fangs attached, oozing festive spirit. So, maybe it’s time we looked elsewhere for a scare this Halloween; giving you a run-down of the best places to don your craziest costume and drag your bones to the dancefloor. From lurid latin nights to edgy burlesque shows, there’s something for everyone!
Massaoke : Halloween Special @ Argyle Street Arches : 27th October 2018 Join the Massaoke band this Hallowe’en for an evening packed with spooky hits in one of the biggest mass singalong events to take Glasgow. The costume theme is ‘Dead Famous’ so if you fancy yourself as Elvis reincarnated, you’d better look out those blue suede shoes…
Cathouse Hallowe’en @ Cathouse Rock Club : 27th + 31st October A favourite among rock and metal lovers, the Cathouse Hallowe’en party brings themed (cheap) drinks and decor, prizes for best costumes and some chilling surprises. Get on your best Rob Zombie look, or for the regulars, your usual attire, and come tae Catty!
Spooky Circus @ Mango : 31st October Promising a night of immersive experiences, comes a night centered around the circus of horrors. Filled with creepy clowns, bearded ladies and witches, this is not one for the faint hearted! However, there will still be plenty of latin beats and a fabulous selection of cocktails. Costumes and dancing are encouraged!
The Spook School Halloween Spook-Tacular @ Nice N Sleazy : 26th October Edinburgh’s indie pop favourites The Spook School are taking over the legendary Nice N Sleazy for a night full of great music and a few spooky surprises! The lineup for the evening has been specially curated by the band, with sets from, PAWS, The Just Joans and Charmpit, it’s set to be an incredible evening.
Cirque du Mort : Halloween @ SWG3 : 2nd November Enter a world like no other packed with snake charmers, knife throwers, fire-eaters and aerial burlesque. If you strive to see the darker shade of Halloween, Marie Devilreux’s risqué cabaret ‘Release The Bats’ may just wet your appetite. There will be blood... From those intrigued by the macabre, to those drawn in by magic and fantasy, it is true that whatever your taste, you’re not going to be let down in Glasgow this Hallowe’en. BY AUDREY GILLIES
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Halloween Edition - Oct-Nov 2018
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“Goth Bands Are for Life - Not Just for Halloween” To me ‘goth’ has never just been for October; it’s the 7am alarm clock to paint my face like a chic Gene Simmons and don the layers of all black. As a lover of metal, synthetic pop and all things spooky, I’m here to tell you why goth bands are for life, not just for Halloween. To begin with, the brief of ‘goth’ to the everyday listener might be the signal of the black and the metal spikes. However, branding bands like Evanescence, Marilyn Manson etc as ‘goth’ would get you firmly shunted out the door of the Cathouse before you could say fishnets. ‘Goth’ refers to the tradition of synthetic, darkwave, romantic rock/pop that sprung out of the punk movement of the 80s, giving rise to death metal, hardcore, goth rave, alternative rock and the like. However, for the purposes of this article we are going to call ‘goth’ the umbrella term for what would be all areas of heavier alternative music. Marilyn Manson is a prime example of the Halloween ‘goth’ phenomenon. The well-known shock rocker becomes a symbol for regular people ‘branching out’ at Halloween, getting into the darker side of life. Having personally seen Manson burn three bibles, once dressed as Santa Claus, blowing ‘coke’ into the audience, I can confirm that he’s also a great Christmas act. Joking aside, Manson’s blend of shock horror, guttural vocals, synthetic sounds and violent aesthetics appeal to those who feel themselves victims or outsiders. An extremely intellectual man, with excellent artistic vision, Manson is able to communicate real pain in his songs, providing an outlet and a relatable performance for fans. Evanescence, the orchestral metal turned meme have a backlog of poignant, heart wrenching songs about addiction, depression and medication. Amy Lee, the gothic princess at the head of the group lends a classically trained pianists’ hand
to the groups haunting sound. In this Moment, The Pretty Reckless and Rob Zombie are other good examples of bands whose theatrics, rhythmic blend of blues, metal, harsh vocals and catchy riffs catapult them to front of any ‘normies’ Halloween playlist. These are bands that exist in the lane closest to the mainstream from goth music, channelling the anger,
the artistry and a deep emotional release. They have a gravitational effect, cementing their importance in wider pop culture and people’s daily lives, belonging in everyday playlists- not just for Halloween. BY KIRSTY CRAWFORD
Halloween Edition - Oct-Nov 2018
What Makes a Good Horror Soundtrack
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including Lionel Richie and Trina in the adapted ‘Brick House’ that runs with the credits.
Every good horror film needs an even better soundtrack to match; the screams of long forgotten actresses paired with tubular bells, dark synthetic pop and orchestral triumphs. A necessary part of any horror movie, the soundtrack and score can really boost up the spook factor! This list omits some of the more notable title sequences in horror movies in order to bring you a rounded list of whole soundtracks that steal the show. The bass strings of Jaws for example, the piercing shriek of the classic Psycho shower scene and tubular bells that still signal nothing short of demonic evil to the collected masses in The Exorcist are great examples of these. Whilst being masterpieces they are omitted in the attempt to bring you a list of the most collectively horrifying movie soundtracks. A Tale of Two Sisters is a beautiful and atmospheric Korean film following two sisters (who would’ve guessed?). The 2004 film by Kim JeeWoon uses orchestral scores and distressing sounds to add a layer of deep sorrow, discomfort and paranoia to this perplexing film. The beauty of the melodies helps to foreground the allusive, supernatural threat in the film and the degeneration of the protagonist’s reality and familial structure. House of 1000 Corpses is a 2003 cult horror classic by musician Rob Zombie. The bizarre parody of the classics of the horror genre sees four young people on a road trip around the United States get into a spot of bother when they pick up a hitchhiker, and their car breaks down. The neon, psychedelic, satanic blood bath that follows is backed by a magnificent soundtrack. Many of the main character themes are written by Zombie himself using thick riffs, walls of sound and samples of screaming and speech, so well mixed that they become musical in their own right. Zombie sets these against all American classics by country stars like Buck Owens and the creepily cute vocals of Helen Kane, even
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signal the artsy documentary style. This is then turned on its head as progressively more blood is spilled, synthetically mixed classical scores are introduced to emphasise the tragic loss of life and the explicitly foreign situation the protagonists are in. The Lords of Salem, the little sister to The Devils Rejects series that starts with House of 1000 corpses, is a metal, artsy, thoroughly creepy look at the descendants of Salem’s infamous witches. The 2012 film also by Rob Zombie, contains a lot of rock and alternative classics, due to the protagonist’s vocation being a radio DJ. The Velvet Underground, Rush and Rick James are juxtaposed against harsh, rapid thrash metal, industrial electronic noise and an offence of warped, perverted orchestral scores that drives this hallucinatory, paranoia-inducing story of revenge. ‘The Lords Theme’, the main score of the film that is of significant importance in the
Suspiria, a 1977 Italian horror by Dario Argento sees a young American attend Ballet school in Munich, much to her detriment. As you might imagine, a movie focussed on dance relies heavily on music. The soundtrack by prog-rock band Goblin has attracted a great deal of critical acclaim since its release. Arguably the most unnerving soundtrack on this entire list, Goblin’s blend of medieval, orchestral sounds coupled with unsettling spoken word in the background sets the precedent for a highly affecting film. Goblin uses everything from soundbites, disturbing screams, vocalisation and aggressive tempo to employ chills in this Argento classic. Widely held as one of the greatest horror soundtracks of all time by fans, this is not one to miss. Cannibal Holocaust (1980, Ruggero Deodato) is among the era of 80s films that portray a very problematic version of (usually) South American native peoples. The documentarians that try to look into the tribe’s ritualistic cannibal practices oddly enough don’t have a fantastic time of it. The ensuing carnage is introduced by beautifully relaxing acoustic melodies which
plot itself, is arguably the most horrible, offensive sounding film theme ever composed. The effect is akin to nails on a chalkboard. But the nails belong to an evil, satanic, witch monster that wants to hurt you in every imaginable way. Some other noteworthy choices are David Lynch’s Eraserhead and the newer Hereditary, which can be added to this list of the creepiest, most horrifying and effective horror soundtracks to be enjoyed this Halloween. BY KIRSTY CRAWFORD
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Halloween Edition - Oct-Nov 2018
Halloween Scream-a-Longs I guess musicals aren’t really the first thing you would associate with Halloween, but there are a surprising number of shows to get you in the spirit, and maybe give you some costume inspiration too! Spoiler alert - here’s our top five must see scream-a-longs: ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW If you’re looking for something whacky and exciting, this is one hundred percent the pick for you. The musical centres around young innocent lovers, Brad and Janet, and the adventure that awaits them when their car breaks down in the middle of nowhere. The couple, desperate to escape a terrible storm, run to the first house they can find… which just happens to belong to the glamorous transvestite scientist, Frank-NFurter. From there, the couple meet some crazy characters as they try to escape the house, whilst Frank-N-Furter tries to seduce them both in the process. It’s just as weird as it sounds, to the point that it is frankly hilarious, and you’ll be shakin’ your booty along to the ‘Time Warp’ and the rest of the soundtrack. If you happen to be spending Halloween in Edinburgh, Rocky Horror will be playing at ‘The Cameo’ cinema on the 31st of October, 20:45. Or catch it at BAAD on the 26th/27th October.
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SWEENEY TODD If you’re looking for something that is actually scary - this might be a bit more suited. Sweeney Todd is a tale set in the Victorian times about a murdering Barber and his wife, who turns her husband’s victims into a lucrative meat pie business. The story has stood the test of time, being brought to life through numerous film and theatre adaptations. However, I would recommend you get your hands on the 2007 movie because, well, Johnny Depp. It’s also just very good - with a great cast and fantastic soundtrack. It’ll also pull a few heart strings as well as making you feel pretty freaked out at the thought of eating a human pie. THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS This is for those of you who are already counting down the sleeps to Christmas, because this musical is a perfect mix of both celebrations. It’s also a good one to watch with younger siblings if you’re having a cute movie night to get them in the mood for trick-or-treating. The Nightmare Before Christmas is an animated stopmotion film created by the talented mind of Tim Burton. It revolves around a magical land called ‘Halloween Town’ where Jack Skellington, a funny, bony character lives and who believes there is more to his life than just scariness. Cue the opening of a mysterious portal to ‘Christmas Town’. It really is a bittersweet movie with an enchanting soundtrack and Tim Burton has provided many other spooktacular movie moments to enjoy this Halloween (see Coraline and The Corpse Bride). THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA If you’re looking for something more classic, then this is it. Phantom of the Opera is a creepy fable about a strange romance between a young girl, Christine, and the Phantom that haunts the theatre she performs in. The phantom obsesses over music and upon hearing Christine’s voice, he becomes obsessed with her too. He sings to her when she is alone, never appearing in person and also threatens the other cast members to give Christine the lead part. She believes that he is her guardian angel until they finally meet,
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and she realises he is a dangerous, misunderstood maniac. Andrew Lloyd Webber, king of musicals, created the musical for this beautiful story and the costumes are also incredible.
WICKED If you haven’t heard of Wicked then you are truly missing out and should rectify the Elphaba shaped hole in your life immediately. Based on Gregory Maguire’s novel, this is the tale of the friendship between Glinda the Good Witch and The Wicked Witch of The West, a what happened before, precursor to The Wizard of Oz. Wicked is the second highest-grossing Broadway show and deserves to be. It’s not very spooky, although, it does revolve around witches, so I feel it’s Halloween-appropriate. The soundtrack will give you goosebumps and I’m sure you’ll recognise some of the soundtrack highlights, such as ‘Defying Gravity’ and ‘Popular’. Whilst these are just a few personal favourites, if you want more this halloween musical moments this season, honorable mentions go to The Addams Family Musical, Little Shop of Horrors and Jekyll and Hyde. BY ADELE SWORDY
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Halloween Edition - Oct-Nov 2018
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Horrorscope You might not be into Horoscopes, but it doesn’t mean we can’t have some fun. As a special addition to the Halloween edition, we’ve decided to give you a rundown on where each sign is at this point of the semester. It’s all written in the stars, after all.
Aries We get it, you’re ambitious. Between wanting to kill that one guy who just won’t submit his part of the group assignment on time and trying to get the highest mark of the whole class, things can get pretty intense. Make sure to take it easy, it’s not that deep.
Taurus As the daunting experience of Freshers month has come to an end, you’ve clearly decided it’s time to hibernate and not re-emerge until New Years. We know you won’t change your mind any time soon, but you might want to consider befriending one (just one, we promise) of your classmates. You never know what’s going to happen during exam time.
Gemini Where to go, what to do, when to do it. It’s always an adventure with you. Unfortunately, truth is you just can’t do everything you want. Uni is all fun and games until it’s a Friday night and you’re stuck writing that essay you forgot about instead of joining the flat party downstairs. Learn how to manage your time, sometimes saying no is not that bad, we promise.
Maisie , Film Editor , Gemini
Cancer Is it time for the first emotional breakdown of the semester yet? We swear the world isn’t going to combust if you take a little time for yourself, dear Cancers. You simply just can’t help everyone, and some people might not even need help. Crazy, right?
Leo Everything might seem like a competition, but we guarantee you it’s not. Someone got a higher mark than you, and so what? Relax, go for a pint and don’t get mad if things don’t go your way all the time. Your reputation will still be intact.
Sagittarius No, you can’t leave everything and go backpacking through Southeast Asia just yet. Close that Ryanair page you have open and hold on for at least a few more months. You know very well you’re too skint anyway.
Capricorn We guarantee you, feelings are not that bad. It’s okay to feel sad, angry or any other emotion that comes to mind. Sometimes other people can help too, especially if you’re struggling. Open up that wall a little more, you won’t regret it.
Virgo Your to-do lists, gym schedule and meal preps are all under control, even if exam time is still a few months away. We see you in the library setting up camp, and we know you wish they’d have sleeping rooms in there already. Our advice? Take the day off. Or maybe that’s too ambitious – make it an hour. You’ll thank us later.
John-Anthony, Editor-In-Chief, Capricorn
Libra
Aquarius
We know that BuzzFeed quizzes can be particularly enlightening, not to mention when paired with lists of Britney’s best outfits from 2003. We’re certainly not judging, but it might be time to start thinking about doing actual work.
Still thinking about all the mistakes you’ve made since you were seven years old, eh? Earth is calling, Aquarius. We all love daydreaming from time to time, but you might want to think about getting your head out of the clouds soon. No rush though, just like you like it.
Scorpio
Pisces
Debates can get pretty heated, but there is no need to fight every single person in your tutorial. We appreciate the passion, but maybe tone it down a little bit, not everyone had time to do the readings.
Oh, Pisces, has chill-time finished yet? We see you scribbling and drawing away in class and procrastinating in the library on that one assignment that unfortunately just won’t write itself. Our advice? You might want to invest in a diary. BY LINDA MOHAMED
Halloween Edition - Oct-Nov 2018
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