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Christmas Edition - December 2018

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Christmas Edition - December 2018

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EDITORIAL

Christmas Edition - December 2018

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Strathclyde Telegraph www.strathclydetelegraph.com Editor-In-Chief - John-Anthony Disotto editor@strathclydetelegraph.com

Layout Editor - Alice Rigamonti layout@strathclydetelegraph.com

Dear reader,

Social Media Editor - Heather Mcilraith

It’s December, it’s dark.

social@strathclydetelegraph.com

I’m a mess, you’re a mess - yet for some reason, there seems to be a little bit

News Editor - Frida Kaarbø Moen news@strathclydetelegraph.com

Features Editor - Linda Mohamed features@strathclytelegraph.com

of hope in the air. As I sit and write this in the library, the stench of broken dreams fills my nostrils. Who knew that stress smelled so bad? With the holiday season and exam period fast approaching, we here at Strathclyde Telegraph have your back. We’ve compiled a series of articles that will

Arts Editor - Holly Mckie

make for a good wee study break in the midst of the terror. But there’s more

arts@strathclydetelegraph.com

than just good articles in the next 20-odd pages.

Film Editor - Maisie McGregor film@strathclydetelegraph.com

We’ve got coffee vouchers to help save those much-needed pennies and articles ranging from television traditions to the industry behind advent calen-

Music Editors -

Nathan Matheson/Charlotte Winspear music@strathclydetelegraph.com

Podcast Editor -

Callum Ogilvie podcast@strathclydetelegraph.com Contact Us: Strathclyde Telegraph USSA, 90 John Street Glasgow, G1 1JH

dars. If you fancy a challenge, turn to our crossword, purpose-built to boost your ego just in time for exams. 2019 is just around the corner, that means it’s about time you cross off all those incomplete resolutions and get ready to attempt them all over again. ST will be back in the new year and with that means lots of new year’s resolutions promising a whole host of new and exciting ideas. In the mean time, keep an ear out for upcoming ST Podcast episodes over the holiday season and stock up on those coffee vouchers.

If you have a complaint against Strathclyde Telegraph, please contact the Editor. If you feel you have failed to receive a satisfactory response, you can take the matter up with the VP Volunteering and Development vpvd.ussa@ strath.ac.uk *All photographs are used with the owner’s consent, or are used courtesy of Wikipedia’s fair use policy.

Good luck with the exams, dissertations, family feuds and anything else that December has up its sleeve. I’ll see you on the other side,

Produced by DC Thomson

J-A

Special thanks to the Alumni Fund for helping fund this edition.

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Christmas Edition - December 2018

Christmas Events BY NAINA BHARDWAJ Christmas is upon us which means it is time to enjoy the festive activities offered in Glasgow. Of course, there was the annual Christmas lights switch on at George Square on the 18 November. Once again, the event was in high-demand this year, with the tickets randomly distributed by ballot. However, there is nothing stopping you from spending an evening in the city centre admiring the lights and venturing through the Christmas market, where you can grab a beer, some street food and unique stocking fillers. A good night to visit is the 5 December, when the traditional Blessing of the Crib takes place in George Square beneath the Christmas lights to a chorus of singers with the Lord Provost of Glasgow. If the festive period has got you in the spirit of giving, then why not join the Santa Dash? Dressed up as Father Christmas himself, you can run 5k on 9 December for the Beatson Cancer Charity. For further details about the Santa Dash, visit the Glasgow City Council website. Of course, it wouldn’t be Christmas without a classic pantomime or theatre show, usually with adult humour included throughout the performance. This year’s roundup includes A Christmas Carol by Citizens Theatre at Tramway on from the beginning of December to early January, and Cinderella at Glasgow’s iconic SEC Armadillo from mid-December until the end of the month.

NEWS

This year we will also see the return of The Irn Bru Carnival, Europe’s largest indoor funfair with over 65 rides and attractions available between 20 December – 13 January. Finally, if you really want to revel in the festivities, nothing puts you more in the Christmas spirit than a wander around the various markets. The Christmas markets in St Enoch Square and George Square are already in full swing, where you can browse the stalls, ride the Ferris wheel, get your photo taken in a giant snow globe, and drink mulled wine until 23 December and 31 December respectively.

Christmas Food Markets in Glasgow This is the season to be hungry! The first and best sign of approaching Christmas are everyone’s favourite food markets. As a tradition in Glasgow, the two main markets will be open on St. Enoch Square and George Square, with a larger and richer selection than ever. Festive mood and delicious food kept company with handcrafted gifts all adds up to the Christmas atmosphere and it’s sure to please even the most fussy and sophisticated buds. Vendors from multiple countries spread across the world will offer their peoples’ traditional favourites with a variety of meat and veg. Exquisite cheeses, pastries, sweets, mulled wine and cider can also be found in the many stands and bars. The St. Enoch Square Market is on from 9 November until 23 December. The cosy state-ofthe-art Christmas village has over 50 seasonal chalets and caravans.

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It starts with a bright carousel and a German sausage house, followed by Dutch Poffertjes (traditional pastries) with a large selection of toppings. The market offers hundreds of gift choices, all from handcrafted chess boards to star sign bracelets, and much more. Further down there’s a huge snow globe that is sure to entertain both children and adults. Several shops with selected premium local spirits like gin and whisky, dedicated chalets for highquality cured meats and luxurious cheeses and a couple of German bars to sit down in and relax with a couple of friends, as well as a magnificent German windmill. There’s also a shop for lovers of exotic untraditional meats, featuring zebra, kangaroo, crocodile and wild boar. The St Enoch Square Market will be open between 10am and 9pm Monday to Wednesday, and between 10am and 10pm from Thursday to Sunday (with the closing time being 6pm on 23 December). The George Square Market is open from 25 November to 31 December, between 10am and 9pm Monday to Wednesday, and 10am to 10pm for the rest of the week. Situated in the heart of Glasgow, as a tradition it will boost a stunning 15 metre tall Christmas tree amidst the dazzling lights – a gorgeous thing of beauty not to be missed. Similarly to the St Enoch market, it offers a great variety of artisan products and handcrafts and more than 50 traders from all over the world as well as traditional local delicacies and goods. On top of that, Glasgow’s favourite classics like the Helter Skelter slide or the vintage Christmas carousel haven’t been forgotten either. For those who want to see even more of what Glasgow offers around the festive seasons, there are plenty of other options like the Merchant Square Craft Market, Arts on the Exchange Square, the Riverside Christmas Fair and the Sloans Market running all day every weekend until Christmas. BY RADO TENEV

Christmas Edition - December 2018

“Sleep in the Park” BY RADO TENEV Because not everyone is lucky enough to go home for Christmas A great initiative organised by Social Bite is quickly gaining widespread popularity across Scotland because of its purpose to help those in need. The festive season is around the corner and Christmas songs are blasting from every speaker in the city, and all the stores are getting overcrowded by enthusiastic Christmas shoppers. The buzz announces it’s that time of the year again, cosy nights in by the fireplace, the exchange of gifts and dinner parties. However, there are less fortunate people who won’t get to experience any of that, and for some of them, it’s their very first Christmas without a home. Social Bite is organising a nationwide event in four cities to help raise awareness and fight against homelessness in Scotland, and it’s taking place on 8 December. The ‘Sleep in the Park’ event took place last year, with more than 8000 people sleeping out in the cold in Princes St. Gardens. The event raised over £4 million, making it the world’s largest sleep-out-event to date. As a result, a program was developed for

NEWS

800 homeless to be brought off the street and into alternative housings, which is the largest program of its kind in the UK. This year, their goal is set even higher and they are getting more media attention than last year. Social Bite are inviting more than 12,000 people to sleep out in the cold in Edinburgh, Glasgow, Aberdeen and Dundee, to help speed up the pace for change when it comes to disadvantaged people across Scotland. They believe that homelessness can, slowly but surely, be eradicated for good. Social stigma regarding homelessness still exists today. They are often seen as irresponsible or involved in substance abuse. However, such misfortune can happen to anyone for different reasons. The 8000 people who took part in the initiative last year were left with long lasting impressions and that was the first step towards change, both political and social, in the common conscience with respect to homelessness. The event will be supported by headline acts and special guests such as Amy Macdonald, KT Tunstall and Darren “Loki” McGarvey, plus songs from Frightened Rabbit and The Twilight Sad. There are two ways for people to join the event and to donate. The first one is for independent

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‘Individuals & Teams’ with the minimum fundraising commitment of £100 per person, and the second one is ‘Corporate’ where companies and other large institutions can take part with a minimum donation of £3000 per team. This will also include 2 free tickets to a “Thank you” dinner at the EICC in Edinburgh in January with a keynote from a surprise world renowned figure. For more information about fundraising and participation in the event you can go to: https:// www.sleepinthepark.co.uk/.

Christmas Edition - December 2018

FEATURES

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The Business Behind Advent Calendars Christmas, as we all know, is the most wonderful time of the year. A time for joy, magic, miracles, great food, moments with your loved ones – you name it. However, it’s also a time for buying, spending and overall commercialisation. Your favourite holiday can easily turn into a monster that eats away your budget in the midst of gift hunting and end-of-year sales. When that perfect gift idea just won’t come, advent calendars can be a lifesaver; they offer a wide range of products at a great price, usually helping you save a lot of money. Or at least that’s what they make us think. For the past five years, according to Google Trends, the buzz around advent calendars has grown exponentially. There has been a huge demand in particular for beauty advent calendars, as stats show, and companies are taking advantage of it. Almost every popular cosmetic brand has brought out an advent calendar in the past couple of years: Estée Lauder Companies, MAC, Smashbox, Jo Malone, The Body Shop, Soap and Glory and many, many more. Retailers such as ASOS and Amazon have also started manufacturing their versions, as have less fashionable brands such as Aldi. Most of them claiming that customers receive in value double or even triple the amount they are paying, but do we really?

Let’s go back to 2017, which brought us the infamous and very controversial Zoella Lifestyle advent calendar – arguably, the most popular of them all – sold at a retail price of £50. After purchase, customers were surprised to see that all they got was confetti, very low-quality cookie cutters, a key ring, a pen, a 30ml room spray, stickers, a bauble, a notepad, two very small candles, a votive and a small pencil case or purse. For £50. Let that sink in. Because Zoe Sugg is a very famous youtuber, and understandably a lot of her younger fans wanted to support her they asked for it from Santa without thinking twice (which led to a lot of disappointed parents leaving not so great reviews on retailer website, rightfully so). Later on, Zoe Sugg addressed the controversy explaining that retailers were responsible for pricing and that essentially she had nothing to do with it. This offers food for thought. What is it about advent calendars that pushes retailers to invest in them? Perhaps it’s because they truly are the perfect gift. They’re a package of so many different things that chances are the person who receives them will end up liking at least one product so much that they will buy it again in full-size – which is a great opportunity for brands to reach new customers. According to the beauty columnist Sali Hughes, retailers get the sample sizes for very cheap, with profit getting maximised when customers purchase the original, full-sized product. Another factor could be that our culture is based on spending. You see your favourite in fluencer on social media promoting something that looks just right, of course you’re going to get it. Then you see an ad for just that one thing you needed pop up, what do you do? You buy it. It’s a vicious cycle, one that creates huge rev enue for brands and empty pockets for customers. And with the upcoming holidays, more and more bloggers and influencers will post about

advent calendars, inciting even more people to buy them. According to an article in The Guardian, beauty advent calendars have become this successful because they work well on social media. When influencers receive a calendar, the sponsors ask them to open a window every day on their social media platform, creating 24 days of content for the brand – undeniably great PR for a small amount of money. Another key aspect that contributes to the growing popularity of these calendars is the hype that they create. With most of them available in limited amounts and during certain times of the year, there is a challenge that pushes people to queue for hours just to get their hands on them – something that has happened before in retailers like Harrods. Most calendars are also sold out in October according to a survey done by Global Data Retail, with 50.8% of shoppers stating that they like to purchase these products promptly due to concerns regarding limited availability. Advent calendars can be a lot fun, whether they are a gift or a treat to yourself, but be smart when you make the decision on which one to buy. Beauty sponges and eyeshadows can seem like the perfect gift, but you might want to invest in something a bit more useful and satisfying. Like chocolate.

BY MONIKA RUMENOVA

FEATURES

Christmas Edition - December 2018

The Dissonance of Working the Holidays BY DANIELLE RIDDELL

to have had no say in the hours received. When asked if the rota system in place was fair, opinions were split: those who said yes felt working over the festive period is simply part of the job

The holidays are fast approaching and if you’re like me, you will probably be making a mad dash to a certain high street chemist soon to get all your shopping in. Christmas is ordinarily the busiest time for high street businesses and often means most of them will be taking on extra staff or upping the hours of the staff they have already. Generally, we think of this as a good thing: more business means more money in the pocket. However, as we make our frantic sprints to the shops to fill our baskets or even begin dialling pubs furiously for last minute nightout bookings, it’s easy to forget the people who make it all possible: the Christmas staff.

while those who disagreed felt they lacked per-

In 2015, it was estimated that 900,00 people worked over the festive and new year periods.

60% said they were not able to take time off if

This has increased about 3-5% each year since, despite claims that high street shopping and dining out seems to be on the decline. The rate of pay has increased too, depending on age: without overtime those under 18 receive around £6.52, between 18-21 receive on average

sonal time. In terms of the amount of work, almost 40% were scheduled to work more than 40 hours. An overwhelming 68% said they did not feel like they had an adequate work-life balance over the holiday period and this was echoed when we reached out to some staff scheduled to work over the current holiday period. Furthermore, over half of those surveyed said they had never had the holiday period off at all in the course of their current employment, though tenure varied from participant to participant. Similarly, the opportunity arose. What seems to be the recurring trend is that many young people are working over the holiday period and not really being offered a say in it. Even if they are, most are not in a comfortable position to say no. At Christmas, when the predicament is asking ‘do I pay rent or make personal time?’, it seems obvi

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ous why most retail and hospitality staff reportedly suffer the highest levels of stress. When speaking to those in the industry, I received an overwhelmingly bleak image: most said they were not consulted on their availability or offered overtime, while others stated that their work environments became increasingly toxic and volatile due to high customer tension and colleague stress. Some expressed the disheartening sentiment that they could no longer enjoy the holiday period at all, while some former industry staff said that it has taken them a number of years to be able to enjoy it. At this time of year, it has almost become natural to relate December with stress, both as consumers and as staff members. As we approach this time of year again, it seems important to consider those who are, for the most part, stuck serving us. Most holiday staff report a significant rise in harassment from customers as well as a significant amount of generosity from them. The holiday season is symbolically supposed to be a time of joy, togetherness and change. It seems prudent to remember that, especially given that for some, it often doesn’t feel that way at all.

about £7.71 and those between 21-30 receiving about £8.60. While a general rise above the national minimum wage is good, most do not see a pay rise over the holiday period according to online surveys. This year HMRC released a significant list of hospitality businesses which had failed to appropriately pay their employees the correct wages. As we approach the festive period, knowing these facts and figures is important if we want to support businesses which provide fair and adequate working conditions. We surveyed hospitality and retail staff to try and get a decent idea of the general working situation

“In 2015, it was estimated that

over the holiday period: over half of them were

900,00 people worked over the

scheduled to work both Christmas and New

festive and new year periods.”

Year’s Eve, with 21% of them claiming

Christmas Edition - December 2018

FILM

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Dates For Your Diary - Films to Look Forward to in 2019

As the year draws to a close, we reflect on a triumphant year of cinema; what better way to celebrate than to look to the year ahead? Have a swatch of our most anticipated films of 2019.

Dumbo Disney have an impressive track record for their live-action remakes; this time, it’s Dumbo’s turn. Dumbo follows the story of a young circus elephant who is bullied for his large ears. When Dumbo learns his ears give him the power to fly, everything changes. Originally released in 1941, the 2019 retelling of Dumbo is directed by Tim Burton and has a star-studded cast including Danny DeVito and Colin Farrell. For the child in all of us, March can’t come quick enough. Release date: 29 March 2019

Boy Erased February 2019 sees the award-winning Boy Erased hit UK screens. Based on a true story, it is the on-screen adaptation of Garrard Conley’s groundbreaking memoirs of his time spent in gay-conversion therapy. Conley’s experiences are depicted by the character of Jared, portrayed by Lucas Hedges (Three Billboards, Manchester by the Sea) whilst Russell Crowe and Nicole Kidman take on the role of Jared’s strict Baptist parents. Release date: 8 February 2019

Captain Marvel Marvel fans far and wide are eagerly anticipating Marvel’s first ever femaleled super hero film, Captain Marvel – and quite rightly so! Details of the film have been kept under wraps, teasing us since its official announcement all the way back in 2014. So - what do we know? Brie Larsson plays Carol Danvers who becomes Captain Marvel in a bid to control the conflict between two intergalactic alien worlds. Samuel Jackson and Jude Law have respective supporting roles too; a USP in itself! Release date: 8 March 2019

Where’d You Go Bernadette? Every booklover experiences a subconscious panic when they hear their favourite book is being adapted to the big screen. Regardless; pushing the fear of plot holes, dodgy actors and misinterpreted characters to the back of our minds, Where’d You Go Bernadette has potential. Maria Semple’s novel dominated numerous bestseller lists for months in 2012 as readers engrossed themselves in the comedy-drama. Narrated by Bee, the novel depicts her attempts to track down her missing mother, Bernadette. BY NICOLE WATT

Release date: 22 March 2019 (TBD)

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Christmas Edition - December 2018

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2018: A Year in Review BY FRANCES WILSON

As awards season draws closer and Oscar-bait films hit screens, let’s take a look at some of the best films of 2018 BEST ACTION: BLACK PANTHER This is coming from a non-Marvel fan - Black Panther is outstanding; incorporating well-rounded characters with an exciting, fast-paced plot. It’s visually stunning, paying a huge amount of attention to detail, particularly in regards to costume. It’s also wonderful that an almost entirely black cast have showcased acting excellence in a mainstream film. Black Panther is not only the best action film of 2018, but the best film set in the MCU thus far. BEST ANIMATION: ISLE OF DOGS Wes Anderson has a touch of gold. As with every Anderson film, the characters, colouring and style in Isle of Dogs are stunning. The stop-motion animation provides the perfect balance between the world Anderson has built and the scrappy, loveable dogs within it. The universe that the film is set in is incredibly well developed. Initially bleak and desolate, Isle of Dogs turns out to be an affectionately heart-warming film and some of Anderson’s best work to date. BEST COMEDY: EIGHTH GRADE It’s hard to portray our social-media-obsessed, meme-culture generation without being extremely cringy, but Bo Burnham understands how to do so effectively. Eighth Grade is hilarious. It doesn’t rely on cheap gags to make it work; it’s honest and it makes you cringe, but in the best way. It really captures being thirteen years old better than any other film of its kind. Elsie Fisher, the lead actress, is the film’s standout and one to look out for. Watching her is like watching your little sister – you want to reach through the screen and give her a hug, a cup of tea and some advice that you could’ve used at that age. BEST THRILLER: A QUIET PLACE A Quiet Place was well worth the buzz it received at the start of this year. The concept is wonderful – this is the most scared I’ve been watching a film in years. The suspense and jump scares are expertly crafted, clever and well thought out, yet the film also perfectly captures familial love. John Krasinski said that his film was a “love letter to his kids”, and it absolutely shows.

Christmas Edition - December 2018

In Conversation With Helen Wright BY ARCHIE GRANT Helen Wright is chief programmer of the Scottish Queer International Film Festival, organising and curating four days of content at Scotland’s largest annual celebration of LGBT+ cinema. Scottish Queer International Film Festival has been running since 2015. After three years what have you seen that’s made you most proud? I never thought the festival would grow to the size it has when it first started, however I wouldn’t say progress is purely down to growth. We’ve received more funding year on year which has helped us bring films to more people and make the festival more accessible. For the first time, we’ve been able to create a travel fund for people to visit the festival. My proudest moment would be implementing our slidingscale ticket prices. It’s really helped the festival become more accessible and has opened it up to people from less affluent backgrounds. How has SQIFF changed from where it was in 2015? Do you have any big plans for the next five years? We’ve come a long way with SQIFF. The festival has become a lot more professional – we now employ people rather than rely on volunteers. That’s certainly helped us to expand and offer more features in the festival compared to what was available when we started. In terms of the future, there aren’t any major projects. The team has just focused on yearto-year goals and keeping the festival running, however we are trying to secure funds help teach people how to screen films and working in film exhibition. This is specifically aimed at queer groups but we’re still trying to get funding, so the plan isn’t set in stone. In Scotland rights for LGBT+ people have come some way, but not all groups in our community have seen their rights progress at the same rate. What are you doing to highlight all people and aspects of our community? This year we’re focusing on deaf and disabled LGBT+ people. We’re showing a film called

FILM Pulse, written by a disabled gay man. It’s a fictionalised account of his life as a teenager and his experience growing up. We’re also showing a film called Outitude which is about the experience of lesbian women in Ireland. This is important because even though the civil rights have come along way for lesbian women there’s still a lot of instances in life where lesbian women do face oppression and discrimination. For me, lesbian representation is very important. What’s your personal favourite feature at SQIFF this year and why? I am very keen on Pulse which I’ve previously mentioned. Also, we’ve got a documentary called Dykes, Camera, Action which is about the history of lesbian cinema - an obsession of mine. It’s got interviews with some great lesbian film makers such as Barbara Hammer and Cheryl Dunye. Even though Scotland has progressed fantastically in terms of LGBT+ rights, do you feel that SQIFF is welcomed in all parts of Scotland rather than only metropolitan areas like Glasgow and Edinburgh? It’s definitely more popular in the central belt especially Glasgow. When we have screenings in Inverness and Aberdeen, we do get pretty small audiences, but we have been working with local LGBT+ groups to try and get a bigger audience. Our audiences are very young which tends to benefit places like Glasgow where the population of young queer people is a lot larger. We hold screenings in Stornoway as well; we have had kick back from the locals and the Presbyterian church but the cinema organisation there is great and really supportive. There are some outstanding features at SQIFF this year, some of which, for example, Rafiki have received more recognition from the press than others. How do you select what to show at SQIFF - is there anything you would have liked to show but couldn’t? We looked at getting a preview screening of If Beale Street Could Talk but unfortunately we weren’t able to get it, as it’s such a big film. It can be difficult to get some of the larger films but that’s not really a problem because we try to focus on smaller films and giving light to smaller, more local productions. In terms of next year, we’re trying to think of themes so we can develop plans. I’d quite like to do a conference about queer working class representation in film. Scottish Queer International Film Festival runs from 5th-9th December. Tickets are sold on a sliding-scale, ‘pay-what-you-can’ basis, and can be found at www.SQIFF.org

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Christmas Edition - December 2018

Let’s Talk About Oscar Categories Recently the Academy’s decision to introduce the award for Outstanding Achievement in Popular Film sparked fierce debate about which honours belong at Tinsel Town’s showpiece event. As it’s the season of goodwill, it’s only fair that we gift you with a list of the awards categories which have been neglected for too long. The Award for Best Cinematic Universe, in which the only candidate is the Fast and the Furious franchise. The Award for Best Donald Glover Performance; is it for acting, writing or soundtrack? Probably all three. How about an award for actors and actresses cursed by being typecast? Yes, I am trying to find a legitimate award for Mark Hamill, but I’m also looking at you, Meg Ryan. We’ve got an award for Best Adapted Screenplay and Best Original Screenplay, but what about the Best Unoriginal Screenplay? Let’s hear it for the reboot of the remake of the movie adapted from the book, adapted from the fairytale. Robin Hood has recently returned to the big screen and if there’s one thing we’ve been begging for i

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t’s an updated take on the notorious outlaw in order to ask: which will be more vacant? The script or the cinema? You’d have to travel all the way back to the distant year of 2010 for the previous adaptation, released alongside films such as Alice in Wonderland. Don’t even think about it, Hollywood. Remarkably, one of Hollywood’s favourite tropes has yet to receive an awards category. I present to you the Award for Outstanding Age Difference between co-stars. It’s commonly known that men are allowed to age in the film industry whilst women seem to ridiculously pass their sell-by date by forty – if they’re lucky. We need to recognise the films featuring men resembling a half melted candle opposite the latest talkedabout actresses on the scene. Scarlett Johansson, Jennifer Lawrence and Brie Larson are some of the many lucky women to embark upon this rite of passage.

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State University’s recent study shows, only 29% of women over forty star in mainstream movies. This award would help the next batch of actresses in their late thirties transition into the next stage of their career: network television, subpar Netflix movies and relative obscurity. Saving the best for last, I think we’d all welcome the Matt Damon Medal of Commendation award. It’s been a rough year for all the supposed ‘good guys’ in Hollywood – isn’t it time for them to get some recognition? Last year Damon bemoaned the lack of attention given to those in Hollywood who don’t partake in sexual misconduct and are in fact decent human beings. It’s time we gave those men the respect they deserve on the back of a difficult year for them. Keep holding those doors open you chivalrous champions! BY ANDREW MCKISSOCK

Sticking with age, it’s high time the Oscars introduced the The Liv Tyler Lifetime Achievement Award for Women. If Hollywood has taught us anything, it’s that it devalues women once they reach a certain age, shoving them into a category where they might as well pick up sticks andstart a trendy smoothie company. As San Diego

CREDIT: VAN ORTON DESIGN

Christmas Edition - December 2018

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Over and Over Again, Christmas TV Traditions BY STEVEN MAIR

From being dragged through to watch the Queen’s Speech by a grandparent, to that almost cultish dedication to the guaranteed annual showing of Ice Age on a terrestrial channel, we live on an island that holds some peculiar television traditions when it comes to Christmas. Our flat-screens seem to work harder than ever around about the festive period. ‘Christmas Specials’ are made for a myriad of genres. There’s the BBC sci-fi classic Doctor Who, and the Great British Bake Off which now resides on Channel Four. A Christmas-themed episode is a sure-fire way to boost the ratings – Bake Off delivered Channel Four’s highest-ever Christmas ratings last year. And there’s also the fierce rivalry between singing circus The X Factor and ballroom bonanza Strictly Come Dancing, reality shows that usually hold their finals just short of Christmas. With both shows beginning in 2004, this longrunning ratings proxy war between ITV and the BBC tops both World Wars combined for length.

Seeing which of the shows’ finals topped out on the ratings is almost a Christmas tradition in itself. As is seeing if the X Factor winner, doomed to a career of being overshadowed by the acts finishing as runners-up, will nab that coveted “Christmas Number One” on the charts, the significance of which is understood by nobody. However bizarre British festive TV traditions seem, it seems we’ve got nothing on the Germans. Max Zihms, originally from the North Rhine city of Essen, said: “Every New Year’s Eve we have this super strange thing. It’s called Dinner for One. It’s an old-time English comedy show, the exact same every year. I was told that it was first put on German TV in the year 1963 and the whole country just stops to watch it. Nobody from here [Scotland] has ever heard of it.” “I always found it really weird that we’d sit and watch this thing we’d seen so many times before. But of course, it’s the New Year, everyone has had some drinks, and it’s just good fun.”

Zihms says the two characters in Dinner for One share the catchphrase of “The same procedure as last year? The same procedure as every year!” But maybe Germany’s zany commitment to the same material isn’t so special. Britain has had 14 years of X Factor versus Strictly and 10 consecutive years of Doctor Who specials. The Royle Family first aired in 1998 and has been a regular fixture at Christmas time since- despite production finishing in 2012. Scottish impersonator Jonathan Watson’s football tear-up Only An Excuse has aired every Hogmanay since 1993 – and going by Watson’s ageing impressions of Frank McAvennie, it’s not breaking new ground with much regularity. But it’s Christmas, for crying out loud. A time where we all take a well-earned break from life, come together, get merry, and huddle round a sofa while the pigs in blankets crackle in the kitchen next door. Let’s leave the creativity to when we’ve recovered from bringing in the bells. So, the same procedure as last year? The same procedure as every year.

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Christmas Edition - December 2018

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Fragments of Memories BY ANDREW MCKISSOCK I check my watch. 20:43. My pace quickens as the train comes into sight. Santa and Rudolph stagger towards the carriage ahead of me with arms linked, and cases of Dark Fruits lodged between their free arms. I opt to avoid their particular brand of festivity and nip into the next carriage. The train doors bleep and a whistle tears through the jovial atmosphere the carriage is wrapped in. Just before the doors close, a mother and son jump inside. As they celebrate their victory with high fives, and each sharp inhale is followed by a giggle, the train jolts to a start. Collecting themselves, they look around for somewhere to sit. “Is it alright if we sit here?” she asks me. “Of course!” I move my briefcase from the table. Unlike the rest of the year, I don’t grudge the space. Looking out the window, I catch their reflection against the darkened backdrop as the city’s bright Christmas lights dwindle. My eyes are drawn to the Christmas tree decorating the boy’s jumper as he tries to rid himself of it, half revealing a Stormtrooper t-shirt underneath. His mum hauls it back down. “It’s too cold,” she says. The boy crosses his arms, lips pouting. I recall the battles I had with mum, trying to rid myself of each Christmas jumper. First it was too itchy, then I feigned an allergy. None of the excuses were ever successful. I should have embraced it back then. Christmas traditions. Every family has them, good and bad. Mostly bad. I still remember rare moments of unity with my sister, bemoaning our mum’s compulsory photoshoot at the top of the stairs with the two of us holding our stockings. It’s fun to look back and see how progressively worse the hangovers got over the years. Although we were ready to declare all-out war when she insisted on videoing us opening presents in our twenties, resisting became part of the theatrics of the day. Fighting the camcorder became a fun tradition in itself. I like to think Mum felt the same about me trying to sneak downstairs to open the presents every twenty minutes from two in the morning onwards. She must have preferred that to me stoating in at two in the morning with presents still to wrap. I swear that’s what killed me during the family quiz, that my sister always started after Christmas dinner. The carriage slowly empties as we pass each stop, each departure diluting the cheer until it’s time for the last stop. The remaining passengers trickle up to the train door behind me. I resist the urge to assure them of my love for Christmas; my suit doesn’t fit with the dress code of Santa hats, antlers and festive jumpers. After we filter out of the train, I pass the boy and as he is being zipped into his jacket over the jumper. I smile at him, at her motherly actions. “Merry Christmas,” he says. “Merry Christmas,” I reply. “Make the most of it.” I meander up the winding road to my apartment block, wrestling the key into the lock before it finally turns. My footsteps echo up the staircase. Entering my apartment, I neglect the big light, opting instead for the lights which strangle the tree hiding in the corner of the room and extend around my window. I check the answer machine as I do every year for a message that doesn’t come. One of my three Christmas traditions. I fetch my Christmas jumper and change into it, making sure to flick the switch that makes the lights attached glow. Removing the pack of six mince pies from my briefcase, I stick three of them in the microwave and heat them. Mum used to usher me out the door round to old Mrs Fisher’s house to deliver banana loaf she’d cooked, my reward was taking the brunt of an hour long conversation. It’s the one tradition I can preserve. The microwave dings and I stick them on separate plates. There’s no response at the first two doors on my floor, so I leave the pies sitting at the doorstep. They’re probably still out. I can hear Christmas songs from the last door. I knock the door and linger. They probably can’t hear me over the music, so I knock louder. There’s no response. I think I can hear muffled voices as I motion to knock again but I stop. I place the pie at the door. Maybe next year, I think. I go back inside my apartment, closing the door behind me.

Christmas Edition - December 2018

A Year in Books: 8 Of The Best Books Published in 2018 BY HOLLY MCKIE As 2018 draws to a close, it is time to look back on some of the literary gems that were published throughout the year. From a popular Young Adult author’s debut into adult fiction, to a love story between two young boys who can’t stop running into each other, these past 12 months have certainly had an endless amount of welcome additions to the literary scene. Whether you are hoping to catch up on some you missed, or finishing off your Christmas shopping, here are some handpicked choices split by

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POETRY

The Cruel Prince by Holly Black – Published way back in January, this was the first instalment in the Folk of the Air series. Fans of Sarah J. Maas and Leigh Bardugo would enjoy this one. What If It’s Us by Becky Albertalli and Adam Silvera – Two of the most popular YA authors right now teamed up to write a story about two boys who can’t decide if the universe is pushing them together or pulling them apart.

She Must Be Mad by Charlie Cox – A poetry and prose collection based on mental health and coming of age by a 22 year old poet who is ‘still in the thick of it’.

genre to help you wade through the masses.

ROMANCE How Do You Like Me Now by Holly Bourne – Following her success in YA fiction, Bourne’s adult debut was dubbed the ‘best book of 2018’. It focuses on what it is like to be in your thirties and everyone around you is getting married – apart from you. The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang – A differ- HISTORICAL ent love story than the norm, because our protagonist has Asperger’s - a refreshing angle for a The Tattooist of Auschwitz by Heather Morris – genre that can often consist of a repetitive plot An emotional true love story that survived the trials of the experiences of a WW2 concentraonly with different characters. tion camp.

THRILLER/MYSTERY The 7 ½ Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle by Stuart Turton – Every day at 11pm, Evelyn Hardcastle is murdered. Every day, Aiden Bishop wakes up in the body of a different guest until he finds her killer. The most creative mystery to be published this year. The Wife Between Us by Greer Hendricks – This thriller challenges you to throw all of your assumptions out the window, because you definitely won’t be able to guess the twists and turns this time.

Christmas Edition - December 2018

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Warm Hearts BY SAVVINA KRITHARIDOU I walk down the busy street, festive lights all around, the streets are singing with the Christmas spirit, festive tunes playing everywhere you go. People walking with hands full of gift bags on one side and the hand of a loved one on the other. A cosy coffee shop on the corner, people enjoying the warmth inside their coats and scarfs beside them. I see glitter and decorations. I see happy faces, children walking down the streets with their parents I see Christmas trees and candles, gifts exchanging hands I see couples and hot chocolates, warm smiles and loud laughs I see people helping each other And I see bright eyes, warm hugs. Warm hearts. And I wish it was like that all year

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Christmas Edition - December 2018

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Time (Don’t Let The Bells End). The early golden years provided the world with songs flexible Christmas Music? enough to be performed by many, whilst the later years provided the world with pop hits asChristmas time is finally upon us! A time ensociated with certain acts. Iconic songs such as joyed by many, a well earnt breather after a long Fairytale of New York by The Pogues and Kirsty semester spent working hard. A time of giving MacColl just can’t be granted justice in a cover. and receiving and a time of religious celebration. The way that this time of year is observed varies The golden age was typified as the period where from student to student, but one common trait the greatest proportion of Christmas songs were prevails amongst the many. Christmas music. released, with every new year bringing another From the golden oldies of Sinatra and Crosby selection of Christmas songs to the forefront. to the high notes of Mariah Carey - there’s a Nowadays, very few artists appear to be stepping Christmas song for everyone. The rise of music up to the plate and gifting the world with their streaming sites like Spotify has allowed for easy festive tunes. Not even Ed Sheeran’s bothered to access to the familiar chimes of Christmas past do it, and he’s tried everything from Irish Folk and present, meaning that people are now able to R&B; surely he’s got a Christmas song stocked to judge quickly on the quality of these tune. up somewhere in his arsenal of musical genres. The opinion of some profess that the songs of old were the best, but was there ever a “golden It appears that the golden age of Christmas muage”, and if so, has it been and gone? sic may now be over. Perhaps it’s no coincidence

Have We Passed the Golden Age of

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music being churned out by current artists. The public perhaps felt that they no longer needed new Christmas music to be constantly released. Signalling a turn away from the days gone by of racing out to record stores to buy the latest Christmas hits before it physically sold out. Instead, turning to their electronic devices, granting them access to every Christmas hit, whenever and wherever they want. Perhaps people became complacent with what they already had and didn’t need anymore new songs, indicated by the high chart placings of the likes of Wham! and Shakin’ Stevens, compared to post golden age songs such as Coldplay’s Christmas Lights and Leona Lewis’ One More Sleep.

The “golden age” may appear to be over, but the people’s love of the Christmas classics will never fade. Maybe one day they’ll find a new song which frees Christmas music from the festive wilderness and welcomes an era of “Christmas that the golden age ended in parallel with the Music Renaissance”. According to research conducted by The Ameri- advent of the internet. The increased accessibilcan Society of Composers, the most performed ity of music from past decades may have indi- BY ALEX MANLEY Christmas songs came from the roaring thirties rectly decreased the quantity of Christmas and 1940s, indicating that perhaps this was the Christmas music golden age. However, according to the most recent UK Christmas Charts, half of the top 10 over the festive period in 2017 were Christmas tunes from the eighties and nineties. Perhaps it is more likely that the golden age began in the 1930s, ending in the nineties, and entering its wilderness years by the turn of the 21st century. The original golden age brought a wide range of Christmas songs that have stood the test of time and continue to be performed and loved by many, take gems such as Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and Winter Wonderland for instance. It would be reasonable to claim that the most recognisable and adaptable songs came from the 1930s and 1940s, with many songs proving difficult to be tied to just one artist. Whilst songs from this era have taken on new forms through covers by the likes of Michael Bublé, Bruce Springsteen and Taylor Swift; we’re yet to see many people covering ‘post golden age’ tunes like The Darkness’ Christmas

Christmas Edition - December 2018

The Lasting Legacy of The John Lewis Ad It wouldn’t be that special time of year without the famous John Lewis advert to kickstart the festive excitement. Since 2007, the famous ads have been broadcasted in the run up to Christmas with a new and creative, heart-warming story. Whether it be a man on the moon, or a dog that just wanted a trampoline, the ad continues to fulfil and inspire its audience. Throughout the years, these uplifting annual broadcasts have become something of a British tradition that many are eager to continue. The stand-out feature of the adverts, are undeniably, their soundtracks. Embracing melodic easy-going acoustic covers, the soundtracks are an influential platform for popular musicians. These adverts continuously surprise their audience each year, with singers who cover tunes often outside of their comfort zones. The John Lewis adverts take a modern spin on well-loved classics. In 2008 for example, a cover of The Beatles song From Me to You was recorded by employees of the company; a simple company choice that has paved the way for more popular artists to get involved. By 2010,

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the rebirth of the era of the strong female popstar, Ellie Goulding made an appearance with her cover of Elton John’s Your Song; providing an amorous backdrop to match the moving images of people preparing gifts for their loved ones. The emotion felt in these gentle reworking of the classics engages the audiences urges to watch again and again. For the artists, they gain more exposure. Although the ad was not without backlash, as animal rights protestors accused the family’s dog of being neglected out in the cold. Nevertheless, Ellie’s take on the song went viral Not only were these soundtracks a gateway for popstars to take centre stage in the run up to Christmas, the advert made way for singers who were new to the charts, such as Slow Moving Millie and Norwegian singer, Aurora. Slow Moving Millie’s take on the Smiths’ Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want illustrates a young boy’s frustration in wanting to open his Christmas gifts. What seemed to be a success turned into controversy, as critics accused the song as being unfitting for the ad. The 2014 advert took a tender turn, with Tom Odell lending his voice to a cover of the Beatles last official recorded single, Real Love. The nar

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rative telling a tale of a young boy and Monty The Penguin, on their quest to find Monty love. This dreamy take on the song made its way to the charts, while also being described as “overly sentimental”. With a flood of mixed responses, this comes to show that these Christmassy soundtracks may not be as festively engaging to everyone. Fortunately, this year’s performer will not have to undertake the pressure of having to cover and master new music, as the song used for this year’s ad is in fact Elton John’s own original classic: Your Song. This not only brings back memories of Ellie Goulding’s take on the classic, it allows us to watch the life of Elton unfold into the past and to his childhood, receiving the gift of a piano which would ultimately change music’s history for the better. The ad ends with a poignant message: ‘Some gifts are more than just a gift’. This captures not only the excitement of opening presents on Christmas day, but also echoes the gift of music, which the public have been treated to each year through John Lewis’ heartwarming adverts. BY COLETTE COOPER

Christmas Edition - December 2018

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The Gift of Music: Is Music Still a Relevant Gift in 2018? BY JORDAN SWOPE Alexa, play All I Want for Christmas. When it comes to finding the perfect holiday gift for someone, music has long been a reliable staple. It is, as they say, a universal language. But times are changing, and emerging trends have left the traditional gifts of yore behind. iTunes gift cards have been collecting dust on shelves since the onset of streaming services like Spotify and Tidal. In their prime, they would sell by the thousands during the holiday season. But as technology evolved they became obsolete, much like the CDs, cassette tapes, and other ghosts of Christmas past. Which begs the question - is the gift of music still relevant in 2018? There are a few timeless truths to humanity, particularly relevant around the holidays. One is a nostalgia for the way things were, and another an innate curiosity in how the world is constantly evolving. Our general interests tend to reflect these, and it’s no different when it comes to how we consume music. Items from vintage vinyl to high-tech devices top the recent high street gift guides, showcasing an interest in both past and present methods for consuming music. For example, vinyl is in the midst of a twentyfirst century renaissance. In turn, record and turntable sales have been on a steady incline since 2007, making them staple commodities on holiday wish lists. It’s the notion that what goes around comes around - but even more than sentimentality, the ‘vinyl revival’ highlights an evolving appreciation for purity of sound and the aesthetics of design. On the other side of the spectrum is an appreciation for how new technology in music is changing the landscape; the way in which we consume music is constantly evolving. iPods and CDs may not be on the wish list anymore,

but that doesn’t mean that music technology is irrelevant. Those iTunes gift cards have become subscriptions to streaming services. Sound systems have transitioned to bluetooth speakers and wireless headphones. The biggest change has affected how we interact with music, with the introduction of virtual assistants and casting devices, we have limitless options at our fingertips. There is more technology on the market in 2018 than ever, and it’s changing the way we, as consumers, listen to and enjoy music. And the one present that has truly stood the test of time? Live music. While technology offers the gift of experiencing music, tickets to concerts, musicals, and the like offer the gift of creating memories as well. The verdict? Just because the way we consume music has changed, it does not mean that we have stopped purchasing it. The industry will still thrive this holiday season because listeners are constantly pushing the frontier of new ways to listen to and enjoy music. Music is as relevant a gift today as it’s ever been - it just comes wrapped in new paper every holiday season.

-”While technology offers the gift of experiencing music, tickets to concerts, musicals, and the like offer the gift of creating memories as well”-

Christmas Edition - December 2018

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The ST Crossword HORIZONTAL 1. Fantasy/comedy movie starring Amy Adams. (8) 2. A novel by Stephen King. (2) 3. A destructive mudflow on the slopes of a volcano (geol). (5) 4. A deed, a thing done. (3) 5. An evergreen coniferous tree. (3) 6. An animal commonly associated with Christmas. (8) 7. A noble title (fr.). (7) 8. An expression of hope for someone’s well-being or happiness. (10) 9. The Sun God and principal deity in Egyptian mythology. (2) 10. A core muscle in the body. (2) 11. A fact, correct statement. (5) 12. British mobile network. (2) 13. Cheek, imprudence. (4) 14. Fabled character, often depicted as Santa’s leading reindeer. (7) VERTICAL

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1. A Christmas movie starring Will Ferrell. 2. Hollow metal object producing clear sound; associated with Christmas (pl.).(5) 3. Innocent, trustful, inexperienced (adj.).(5) 4. A spherical green vegetable. (3) 5. This issue’s theme and the principal Christian holiday. (9) 6. Exclamation of surprise or triumph. (2) 7. A locomotor organ consisting of a row of cilia whose bases are fused (pl.).(6) 8. A weapon designed to be shot from a bow. (5) 9. The region in a bipolar transistor that produces carriers of current. (7) 10. Scottish slang for cheerful (pl.). (5) 11. Biblical baby name meaning ‘friend’/ ‘shepherd’. (3) 12. Indian ex-prime minister, central figure before and after the Indian independence. (5) 13. Short for father (inf.). (3) 14. The act of consuming food (v.); also light food or snacks (inf.). (3) 15. A tax or levy (Scottish/Irish). (4) 16. An individual article or unit. (4) 17. Waste, garbage.

Christmas Edition - December 2018