Sasee Magazine - May 2022

May 2022

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“Mother Knows Best” May 2022 Contents Volume 21, Issue 5

About the Cover Artist:

Art entered Sanja Jancic’s life during early childhood, when she attended her mother’s concerts, who was an opera singer at the Belgrade Opera. Sanja dedicated herself to music, as a cellist and a composer, as well as to painting, her earliest love. Her artistic focus is people, primarily women, who try to express their being through beauty, personal, or the environment in which they find themselves. She explained, “I believe that Eros and Thanatos are forces of the creative and destructive, and their struggle takes place through human souls. That is what inspires me and what I often show in my works of art.” Sanja’s favorite medium is acrylic and her style is primarily expressive. The characteristics of her artwork are predominantly warm tones and bright contrasts. Her paintings have been exhibited in numerous exhibitions and are on the walls of homes around the world. www.artfinder.com/manage/sanja-jancic/#/ www.saatchiart.com/sanjajancic www.singulart.com/en/artist/sanja-jančić-34359

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14

It’s Not a Profession; It’s a Calling: Nurses Honor Guard

by Sarah Elaine Hawkinson

16

Raising a Fashionista: Natalie Krumenacker

by Sarah Elaine Hawkinson

18 20 22 28 30 32 36

Sasee Gets Personal with Pam Burnett: Saltwater Storks & More Slip of the Tongue by Lanita Bradley Boyd Plantation Playground Celebrating My “Mother of Affection” by JoAnne Bennett Mother Knows Best by Merikay McLeod Bad Boy! Bad Boy! by Erika Hoffman The Language of Kindness by Melissa Face

from the Editor Although life does not come with a manual, you sure are lucky if yours comes with a helpful mother.

However, I am not so sure they ALWAYS feel quite so lucky to be stuck with us. I was stubborn even before birth. After many years of IVF treatments, the dang stick finally revealed a positive sign, and then nine months later, when I finally arrived…I was, of course, upside down.

As an only child, I have always been very connected with my parents.

On my first day of kindergarten, I ran back down the hall after my mother in tears. I was nervous and I never fit in. The red-headed girl with the freckles and the big ole birthmark on her chest that was referred to as a “coffee stain.” (What kind of child thought I drank coffee at the age of six?)

Regardless, as I grew, the advice my mother instilled in me became more apparent. I was always told to “be the best me” which also meant the most authentic version of myself. I was taught that it was perfectly okay that I was unique and learned very quickly that the mean kids were the ones who needed some real guidance and motherly love.

Speaking of, that teenage stage of mine was brutal, and my sassy stubbornness was at an all-time high. My mother went from being my lifeline to the person I fought with for no good reason. How typically rude and adolescent of me. Did I let the hormones hide the fact she was always on my side (and by my side) when I needed it? I did, but not for long. She is pretty difficult to be upset with as she is ever-loving, forgiving, and understanding - more significant lessons I learned from her.

My mother mostly always knows best, but it’s interesting how, depending on the subject, sometimes the tables turn as you mature. Your relationship transitions from a parent-child scenario to a real, adult friendship. Now, we get to support and learn from one another in a new way. As Terry Guillemets said, “I love my mother as trees love water and sunshine. She helps me grow, prosper, and reach great heights.”

Happy Mother’s Day!

Publisher Delores Blount Sales & Marketing Director Susan Bryant Editor Sarah Elaine Hawkinson Account Executives Erica Schneider Gay Stackhouse Art Director Patrick Sullivan Contributing Photographer Chasing the Light Photography Web Developer Scott Konradt Accounting Gail Knowles Executive Publishers Jim Creel Bill Hennecy Suzette Rogers PO Box 1389, Murrells Inlet, SC 29576 fax 843-626-6452 • phone 843-626-8911 www.sasee.com • info@sasee.com Sasee is published monthly and distributed free along the Grand Strand. Submissions of articles and art are welcome. Visit our website for details on submission.

Sasee is a Strand Media Group, Inc. publication.

Copyright © 2022. All rights reserved. Reproduction of any material, in part or in whole, prepared by Strand Media Group, Inc. and appearing within this publication is strictly prohibited. Title “Sasee” is registered with the U.S. Patent & Trademark Office.

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It’s Not a Profession; It’s a Calling: Nurses Honor Guard

by Sarah Elaine Hawkinson

Dressed in their traditional attire, white dresses, nurse caps, and blue and red capes, these nurses stand with honor to represent the devoted lifelong work of all the nurses who have passed. The Nurses Honor Guard is a nonprofit organization made up of currently employed or retired Licensed Practical Nurses, Nurse Anesthetists, Registered Nurses, Nurse Practitioners, and any nurses who hold a nursing license in good standing with the Board of Nursing.

This collection of nurses volunteer their time to pay tribute to their fellow nurses and continue to serve as they have always done because of their esteemed core values: Nurture, Uplift, Respect, Service, and Empathy.

The Nurses Honor Guard pays a short, very meaningful tribute to nurses at funerals, memorial services, or any

14 :: Sasee.com :: May 2022

other ceremony in honor of a deceased nurse. The nurses stand guard at the casket and recite the Nightingale tribute which is similar to a military tribute that officially releases the nurse from their nursing duties by ringing the bell three times. The nurse is presented with a white rose and a Florence Nightingale lamp is given to the family. All aspects of this ceremonial tribute are offered free of charge. The purpose of this organization is to provide comfort to the family and let them, as well as the community, know the value of each nurse that is honored.

In June 2019, the Nurses Honor Guard of South Carolina was founded by Stormy Shealy, and when Beth Edwards saw a viral Facebook video of the ceremony, she knew that the Grand Strand needed this tribute as well. Beth opened

the Low Country chapter in October 2020 and recruited her trusty team: Pamela DeRuvo, the crafty one who paints most of the boxes they give to the families, Charity Herring, who presents the pin at the end of the service along with a poem she wrote, and Pam Stroud, who inspires and recruits new nurses to join and mentors them. Beth started as lead guard. She coordinates the funerals, talks to the director, and updates their “call to arms” meaning that there is a service coming up to see who can join. At each ceremony, they have a minimum of four nurses but have had as many as ten attend. Beth exclaimed, “The more nurses, the more beautiful!”

Growth and community awareness are the current goals of the Nurses Honor Guard. They need more nurses to join as they offer services from Georgetown up to the North Carolina border, as well as the Florence/Darlington area.

When they see a nurse’s obituary in the newspaper, they wish that they could have paid their respects and offered their services on that significant day. “We want every nurse and family to know what we offer so that they can have this opportunity. We do not want to miss even one nurse,” said Charity. The family of a nurse does not always understand what they have been through because they do not want to go home after a hard day and put it all on their loved ones. Beth explained, “As a nurse, you miss birthdays and holidays, you sacrifice a lot for the service you provide to your patients and their families. It’s important that we are there to support the families of these nurses because we know what they have been through.”

Pam explained her experience working in the ICU: “Every time someone passes, a nurse gives away a piece of their heart along the way. Many times, I was the only person there when the family could not be, and it’s my duty to ease that last moment for them.” The Nurses Honor Guard is the perfect way for nurses to stay involved and continue to serve.

Feeling the gratitude of the family and friends makes all of the time devoted well worth it. “It’s not the years that you’ve given, but it’s your heart and your soul that you have given, and the lives that you’ve touched,” Pamela continued, “It is a privilege for us to honor our colleagues because being a nurse means you have to really want to do this. You are asked to do a lot of things that most people do not want to do as a nurse, which is why it’s not just a profession, it’s a true calling!”

To donate and learn more about the Nurses Honor Guard, please visit: www.NursesHonorGuard.com Email: NursesHonorGuardSC@gmail.com Phone: 843-385-7944

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Raising a Fashionista: Natalie Krumenacker

by Sarah Elaine Hawkinson

“Owning a boutique was my childhood dream,” Natalie continued, “After I achieved my degree in Design & Merchandising, I landed a job as a buyer for an off-price retailer. I thought of this position as the adult version of my ‘dream job’, but I quickly learned the corporate lifestyle was not for me. It felt like I was losing the passion and inspiration that I always felt when it came to fashion.” After the pandemic hit and Natalie moved to the Grand Strand to be near her parents and work from home, she saved all of her money so that she could finally go after what she truly desired. She explained, “The idea of having my own boutique meant that I could follow my intuition and make decisions based upon what I felt was right. It also meant that I didn’t have to focus on one aspect of fashion - I could do it all and be as creative as I wanted. I didn’t have creative freedom with what I was doing previously, but I wanted to be able to have a vision and fully follow it.”

Shop Ravel launched online in March of 2021 and the storefront opened later that year in November. On top of

Natalie’s perseverance, her dreams also came to fruition due to the unwavering support of her parents and especially all of the incredible help from her mother, Susan. She pitches in by steaming clothes, working the floor when Natalie needs an extra hand, and is always there to remind Natalie that there is a light at the end of the tunnel during stressful times. Susan added, “My biggest role is being the cheerleader. I really can’t take any credit for the designs or anything creative. From the color of the flooring to picking out the clothes, she does every last bit of it. It always blows my mind when she’ll just put an outfit together or see potential in something that I would have never looked twice at. If you’ve ever met either my husband or me, you probably know our daughter owns a clothing boutique, because we probably handed you a card and told you to check it out. That’s just what I do, cheer her on and be a proud mom. I want to see her be successful!”

Natalie was never pushed to fit any sort of mold by her parents and that light in her shines bright through her boutique. She lets her personality be the guide and that resonates with the right clientele. “You can’t think too hard about things or be too scared to take a risk,” Natalie continued, “My family has been the strength and positivity that I’ve needed to keep going. They’re always honest and tell it how it is, which does keep me in check a lot of the time. Knowing that I have

16 :: Sasee.com :: May 2022

the support of my family behind me also makes it easier for me to believe in myself and my dreams.” Susan is a huge helping hand with the business, but Natalie also finds inspiration from her grandmother who was most definitely a fashionista. She explained, “I loved looking through old pictures of my grandma with such sophisticated outfits. She passed down that eye for design and color to me. The idea of doing what you love but making sure you give it your all while doing it was also passed down. My parents are both incredibly hardworking and instilled that in me as well.”

Although she always enjoyed visiting other boutiques growing up, Natalie felt like she was constantly seeing the same styles or limiting her purchases because of the price point. She wanted to create a shop that also provided women with unique and interesting pieces that are great quality without an astronomical price tag as well as create an environment where women can feel comfortable shopping. She clarified, “If you’ve experienced Shop Ravel, you know right away that I love a good print. I’ve always used clothes as an expression of my personality, so I pick out a lot of bold, statement pieces that reflect that. I love the feeling of putting on an outfit and feeling powerful, and that’s what I want for other women.

You have to wear clothes, so you might as well wear clothes that make you feel good.”

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Gets Personal with

Pam Burnett: Saltwater Storks & More “The best advice I ever received from my mom wasn’t something she said but rather how she lives her life. She loves sipping coffee in the morning while she begins her day with daily devotionals. She demonstrates a commitment to her family, friends, and church and instills in us a sense of obligation to serve others. To this day, she is more proud of us for what we do for others than what we do for ourselves,” stated Pam. As a mother herself, the best advice Pam bestowed upon her children was simply showing them positive ways to live a good life so that they had a template to go by for their own life. She explained, “Be positive, surround yourself with people that have good influences, trust in God, work hard, and know that nothing is given to you without it, and last but not least, they knew that I, as their mother, will ALWAYS be there for them through the good, the bad, and the ugly.”

A year ago, Saltwater Storks & More was born right after the birth of Pam’s first grandson. As the mother of two sons, she was so delighted to have her first grandchild. To celebrate, she wanted to give the gift of a stork lawn sign to announce the birth to all of their friends and neighbors. When there was not a stork-making business to be found in our area, Pam ended up driving to Charleston to pick one up. After this adventure, she decided the people of the Grand Strand needed to be able to easily purchase this precious gift, so she started her own venture.

Pam’s business offers stork lawn signs to announce the birth of a new baby including the baby’s name, weight, height, and date of birth. The bundle is left behind when the stork flies away after a week. Something that makes her business even more unique is that she not only offers grandparent stork signs so they can announce the birth of their new grandson or granddaughter but also Big Brothers and Sisters with their sibling stars as well as precious fur babies. Pam also designs oyster shells straight from our inlet with the baby’s name on it as an extra special gift for the new baby.

18 :: Sasee.com :: May 2022

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Slip of the Tongue

by Lanita Bradley Boyd

My neighbor, lawyer, and friend, Sally, sat across the kitchen table from me. “Okay,” she said, “Let’s get going on the paperwork the agency sent me for Kelsey’s adoption.”

She started reading the document to me, and hearing “Birth Mother, Patricia Duke” jarred me. Patty Duke had been a famous child star as I was growing up. Could this be the same person? Surely not. Movie stars don’t go to obscure Christian agencies in Denver to choose an adoption plan.

Kelsey’s eighteenth birthday, I called to get the ball rolling. I had no idea how long it would take and I wanted to shorten the wait time for satisfying her curiosity – and filling the hole in her heart.

The social worker who answered was kind and eager to help.

Her first question took me by surprise.

“Do you happen to know the first name of her birth mother?”

Sally stopped when she saw my startled look. “You aren’t supposed to know the name, are you?” she asked, already knowing the answer. I shook my head.

“W-what? Why?” I stammered, my heart suddenly pounding in my ears.

“Then I’ll proceed without reading that.”

“Oh, that’s how we file our records,” she said. “Maintains the birth mother’s privacy but still makes them accessible.

Do you know it?”

That was the only time I even had a hint of the name of the birth mother of our precious daughter. I did not mention it to anyone – not even my husband. It was something I was not supposed to know, so I acted as though I did not. In 1980, most adoptions were closed and secrecy was routine.

As Kelsey grew up and we told her the story of flying from the Cincinnati area to Denver to get her, she asked many questions about her birth mother. For most of these questions, the answers were taken from what we’d been told by the agency: “Because she loved you and couldn’t care for you herself,” or “She was a vegetarian,” or “She was very smart and a great conversationalist.”

But when the question was “What was her name?” I had to equivocate.

“Do you think they would have told us her name? That’s supposed to be a secret,” or “How would I know?”

The name never left me, for it was constantly reinforced.

When I saw huge Duke Construction signs, I wondered if it were the same family. Then I’d chastise myself for thinking of it at all. And the same when I’d see an article about the actress Patty Duke, though I’d learned that she’d actually chosen a stage name so her name wasn’t even Patricia.

I felt that Sally’s slip was a burden I could handle, and it turned out to be a blessing.

Kelsey always understood that Colorado law did not allow a birth parent search until she was 21. Then, around 1996, that restriction was changed to age eighteen. Shortly before 20 :: Sasee.com :: May 2022

I swallowed before I uttered the name that had never before passed my lips. “Patricia.”

“Great!” she said. “You have no idea how complicated this process is when the birth mother’s name isn’t known! Almost impossible!”

And then I realized why I’d been given this burden almost eighteen years before – so my daughter could more quickly locate and be reunited with her birth mother, Patty. And yes, she really did share a name with the famous Patty Duke! It turned out she had married but had kept her maiden name.

In less than three weeks, we received a surprising call. The social worker explained that she had called the number listed for Patricia’s parents and gotten her contact information from them without telling her why. She simply said, “I knew Patty when she was in college and I’d like to reconnect!”

(People were less cautious in 1998.)

Her message, however, was both discouraging and hopeful.

Patty had no interest in being in contact with Kelsey. To our surprise, she had been married to Kevin, Kelsey’s birth father, for twelve years, and he was definitely interested in knowing Kelsey.

Wow! Kelsey was stunned. As she said, “I’d never really given much thought to my birth father – just a shadowy figure who didn’t play a big role in what my birth mother had chosen.” She called him, and they eagerly talked and shared information.

Renewal: Group Show We were amazed upon hearing that Patty, from Amarillo, Texas, had traveled from her university in New Mexico to Denver to give birth where no one knew her. Of course, she assumed that a couple in the Denver area adopted her daughter. At the same time, we had traveled from Kentucky to Denver to adopt our baby girl, assuming that her birth mother was from Denver. “I feel my life has been so specifically moved

by God,” Kelsey often explains. “God went to quite a bit of trouble to get me to my family.”

Eventually, Patty came around after starting therapy, perhaps eighteen years late. She and Kevin flew across the country to attend Kelsey’s high school graduation and later the three of them traveled together to Ireland where Kevin’s father was born and where they’d married. The Irish connection was a bonus for Kelsey, for she had always been drawn to Celtic music and customs.

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So our daughter’s life, already satisfying, was incredibly enhanced by two more people showing her love and affection. As my friend Ginny said, “You can never have too many people in your corner!” All due to what seemed to be a slip of the tongue in my cozy kitchen eighteen years before.

Lanita Bradley Boyd is a freelance writer in Newport, Kentucky. Her writing springs from her years of teaching, church ministries, and family experiences.

Sasee.com :: May 2022 :: 21

Frances Johnson, Writer: “In memory of my beloved sister, Anna Rodney, I dedicated Plantation Playground to her. Years after her passing and after all the tears and grief, I got to thinking about what I could do to make her proud. Something she and I could share. Something so special, something that would send her over the moon, and it came to me.

Two of her favorite things; children and dogs. The seed was planted; a children’s book.

For all of my and Les’ married life, 25 plus years, we have lived in an environment filled with ever changing nature and wildlife. Over the years, I had seen our neighbor’s kids grow up and have kids of their own. Their laughter, squeals, and amazement. So, I came up with the idea of a little boy with his fury cohorts roaming around and creating his own little playground. To all the kids, young and old, as Timber (my and Les’ dog) and Pepper (Kay and Allan’s dog, may she Rest In Peace) would say; ‘explore, have fun and always be safe.’”

Kelly Keels, Illustrator: “I have done pet portraits for years for Francis and Les. When she came to me with the children’s book idea, I knew it would be a really fun project to work on. I have two little boys myself and read children’s books to them daily.”

Kay Kennedy, Publisher: “Frances and I have been friends and neighbors for many years. We share a passion for where we live in historical Wachesaw Plantation. The beautiful live oaks and stunning azaleas are surrounded by low country wildlife with breathtaking views of the Intracoastal. Of course, Pepper and Timber play a large part of our porch conversations since they were present for many of them. Pepper was a rescue German Shepherd my husband and I adopted and fell in love with. She and Timber were quick to become Paw Pals. Being in the printing business for over 30 years, I knew this children book was the opportunity to expand my printing company to include publishing which was always a personal goal of mine.”

To purchase a copy, visit: www.kandkompany.com/bookstore or by visiting local shops: The Toy Isle, Tweaked, and the Brookgreen Gift Shop.

You can find more information on my website. www.KeelsArt.com.

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2701 N. Kings Hwy, Myrtle Beach • 843-712-2309 Sasee.com :: May 2022 :: 27

Celebrating My “Mother of Affection”

by JoAnne Bennett

In the summer of my eighth grade, I moved with my adoptive mother and stepfather to a beautiful, quaint community that had been seriously marred by escalating drug abuse at that time. Only a few weeks into the school year, the principal had been assaulted more than once by troubled students. It was the last straw for my parents when he had to be hospitalized for his injuries. A drastic remedy for a difficult predicament – my adoptive mother searched for a place for me to live back in our hometown, over 420 miles away.

With fondness, I still remember the first time I met the Reynolds family. I lived in the home of this special family for the rest of my freshman year of high school. What loving human beings who each welcomed me, a total stranger, into their lives and cared about for many years. By wonderful example, I learned the true definition of what it truly means to encourage, care, trust, and love one another unconditionally.

One morning, I caught a glimpse through the window of my “mother of affection,” Mrs. Reynolds kneeling in her backyard. Deep in concentration with a paintbrush in her hand, I can still picture her capturing God’s perfection…a radiant sunflower reaching towards the heavens soaking up the morning sun. She painted the loveliest pictures that hung in galleries, as well as in her home.

As a going-away present at the end of the school year, my “mother of affection” asked, “What painting of mine would you like to take home as a gift from me?” She laughed when I pointed to her drawing of the sunflower. I could have had any of her fancy, framed pieces on the wall, but it was the simple things in life that have always meant the most to me. I chose the beautiful sunflower painting.

It might have seemed like such a small gift, but for me, it was a priceless treasure.

For years, I held on dearly to the pastel drawing. I would gently roll up the gradually disintegrating piece of artwork and take it along with me to each new journey in my life. It was one of those “belongings” that never traveled to its next destination without being further away from me than the front seat of my car. For me, it was just a small token of love that represented more than I could ever possibly put into words.

After years of thumb-tacking the four corners of my coveted construction paper painting, regretfully, I had to part with my sunflower.

Mrs. Reynolds made a profound impact on my life. She always took the time to listen not only to my joys but to cry with me through the sad, disappointing moments as well. Whenever I felt unsure of God’s plan, I can still hear her reassuring words, “You know I will always be there if you need me.”

One Christmas, I carefully opened the most thoughtful present – a beautiful, stained-glass sunflower skillfully handmade by my loving husband. Also, creatively placed inside the shadow box was a precious photograph of my Mrs. Reynolds, a woman who will have a special place in my heart forever. She has shown me that even if I was short-changed on the deep love from my birth mother and my adoptive mother too, there was always an angel waiting in the wings… my “mother of affection.”

28 :: Sasee.com :: May 2022

JoAnne Bennett’s passions are writing and making a difference in young people’s lives. Her favorite anthology piece is Dear Wonderful You (2014). One of her first stories was in Sasee.

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Sasee.com :: May 2022 :: 29

Mother Knows Best

by Merikay McLeod

Without saying a word, my mother taught me a truth that has set me free.

I was a teenager when my 39-year-old, stay-at-home mom decided to become a nurse. She did not drive, and we lived on a lake in the country about fifteen miles from where her classes would be held. Always resourceful, she convinced her sister, who could drive, to become a nurse too. Thus, my aunt provided Mom’s transportation.

I’m told the sisters were a hit with their class, despite being nearly two decades older than everyone else. I can imagine my mother’s cheery personality adding laughter and enthusiasm to the classroom.

I was in eighth grade, my brother in fourth grade, and my sister in kindergarten when Mom’s nurses training began. It irritated me that she was no longer available 24/7 and that my siblings and I now had more chores around the house. But I also felt proud of her.

She’d be studying when the rest of us went to bed.

And she’d rise at 4 a.m. to study, then make our school lunches and prepare our breakfast, before rushing out the door with her books to climb into my aunt’s car.

After graduating at the top of her class, mother began working in the premature nursery of Borgess Hospital in Kalamazoo, Michigan.

Women’s Lib and feminism weren’t familiar phrases at the time. And my dad, a hard-working laborer, was not expected to take on housework just because his wife had a job. So, Mom still performed all the traditional homemaking tasks while also working full-time.

However, Dad did become her chauffeur to and from the hospital each day. That drive gave them both some much-needed time together.

Unlike TV moms, who often dispensed wisdom to their confused or discouraged children, my mother was way too busy to sit us down for some sage advice. Yet, I 30 :: Sasee.com :: May 2022

learned from her annual springtime ritual the most important lesson ever about work and my relationship to it.

When May arrived each year, she would approach her supervisor at the hospital and ask for a summer leave of absence. “My children are growing up so quickly,” she’d say, “and I want to spend the summer with them while I can.”

Her supervisor would explain that there was no way to grant my mother’s request. A three-month leave was totally out of the question. Within a day or so of being refused, Mom would write and deliver a two-week notice that she was quitting.

When we were finished with school, she was finished with work. She’d once again be our 24/7 mother, and we’d all enjoy summer together, swimming in the lake, visiting friends, and just plain having fun. We’d pick berries and she’d bake pies. We’d help her can tomatoes and peaches and green beans. She’d make strawberry jam.

When Dad got his two-week vacation, we’d all take off for the Smoky Mountains, or Mammoth Cave, or some other wonderful place, camping along the way and making family memories for a lifetime. In the fall, as we kids headed back to school, Mom, refreshed and renewed, would apply for work at the hospital and be immediately hired. She’d be back in the nursery enjoying the work she loved.

This yearly tradition continued throughout my and my siblings’ school years. Why the hospital never granted her request for leave or tried to negotiate a shorter leave of absence, I’ll never know. But as a family, we enjoyed summer vacation together. And I absorbed the truth that my employer does not own me; I’m not a slave to my job. I am free to walk away.

Clara Williams Trunk Show Thursday, May 12 & Friday, May 13

That freedom has served me well, enabling me to comfortably tolerate unpleasant but temporary situations at work, or giving me permission to quit when a job is taking the joy out of life. More than once, when hired for a new job or being promoted to a new position, I have negotiated a two-month rather than two-week yearly vacation.

Mom’s annual ritual taught me that while you can always earn money you can never earn more time, that life’s quality is more valuable than a paycheck, and when it comes to my working life, I’m the one in charge. These truths, taught without speaking a word, have blessed my life with uncommon freedom.

Merikay McLeod has been an insurance company typist, a PR assistant, a small business owner, a newspaper reporter, columnist and editor, a magazine editor, and a university news bureau director.

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Creek Parkway, Murrells Inlet, SC, 29576 Sasee.com :: May 2022 :: 31

Bad Boy! Bad Boy!

by Erika Hoffman

My second son’s third kid, three-and-a-half months old, was soon to be christened. Although we couldn’t make it to the baptisms of the older two, we decided we’d trek up to New York for this one. Also, it was the same week as Halloween, so it promised to be a fun time. Because it’s a nine-to-tenhour trek if traffic is unimpeded and the George Washington Bridge hasn’t had any wrecks on it, we make it there from North Carolina only a few times a year, at best. Our interactions with our almost four-year-old granddaughter and our two-year-old grandson are infrequent and limited.

This week would be the longest amount of time we’ve spent with them at their home.

Our grandchildren have more toys than I remember F•A•O Schwarz having when I was young. More festivities, activities, and playdates appear on their social calendars than on ours. The family follows a schedule where two of the kids attend pre-school while a nanny remains home with the baby who has scheduled strolling excursions. My son and his wife have demanding careers, keeping them busy every moment of the day they’re not occupied with kids.

Soon after we arrived, my son warned me his toddler son, also named Henry, has a foot fetish.

“A what?” I asked.

“He likes to bite your toes. If he sees you in socks or without socks, he’ll pretend he’s going to kiss your foot, and then he bites your toes. Hard.”

“Good to know,” I told my son.

“We really have to watch him around the baby! By the way, he also pulls hair.”

“Anything else?”

“He hits.”

“Papa and I will protect our feet, heads, and body parts.”

“He hurls toys.”

“I know where he gets that from! You once hurled a Brio train track at the globe on the rotating Hunter fan and although you were only two, it was a perfect shot. It burst, raining white shards of glass down on me and your brother.”

Henry laughed.

32 :: Sasee.com :: May 2022

“I spanked you, but your dad was impressed with your throwing arm,” I added.

“We don’t spank,” my son replied.

“Time out?” I asked. “That never worked for me.”

“FYI, we have a pre-school conference tomorrow with his teacher to find out how he’s doing.”

“A conference for a two-year-old? Wow. Things have changed since I had you four kids. Of course, I was a stay-at-home mom, and you were raised by the TV. So, if you didn’t turn out right, I say, ‘Dang you, Mr. Rogers!’”

“That’s right, Ama. Things change,” my son said, using my grandma appellation.

The next day we spent with a well-behaved, cooing baby, alternating holding him, feeding him, and watching him.

When my son returned from the preschool conference before he ducked into his study to work remotely, I inquired about the meeting with Henry T.’s teacher.

“Well,” my son said and grimaced. “We learned a new strategy. We are supposed to tell him that an invisible bubble is around each person and that he must learn not to invade another kid’s bubble. He’s not to reach in and pop that invisible bubble – to pull hair, slap, or bite.”

“Oh my! Can’t you just tell him: ‘No?’” I asked knowing I was breaking my number one rule of grandparenting – not to give any unsolicited advice, ever.

My son shook his head.

So, I asked, “Anything else? Did she tell you how smart your boy is? How articulate? How good he is at puzzles that require spatial intelligence? How far he can throw a ball? Or fork? How funny he is? How good-natured he is? Or how easily he can be consoled if he hurts himself?”

My son shook his head no. “She stared at us both hard,” Henry said. “Then, she glared directly at me and asked, ‘Who’s told Henry he’s a bad boy?’”

I blurted out, “What?”

“The teacher went on to say that Henry prances around class telling everyone he is a bad boy and when he hits another kid

and she – the teacher – asks him why, he points to his chest proudly and says, ‘I’m a BAD boy! I’m a bad, BAD boy!’”

Vi n t age Wa re s | Wo me n ’ s A ppa rel Wo nd e r fu l Good s | B o u t iq ue C l ot h i ng L a bel s

I laughed. “Yeah, he told me that too when I asked him why he tried to bite my foot. He really emphasizes the word BAD.” I recalled how self-satisfied my two-year-old grandson looked when he told me he was a bad, bad boy, like it was a badge of honor. I’d said to him that he was a big boy, not a bad boy. And he corrected me sternly and looked very cross with me as he announced, “Bad! I’m a BAD boy.”

“So, Son, what did you tell the teacher?” I asked my grown kid.

“I told her the truth! His four-year-old sister tells him he is a BAD boy all the time – after he bites her, pulls her hair, and hits her in the face. She tells him emphatically he is a bad boy.”

I had to laugh.

That week I watched the two older ones play and most of the time they were compatible and happily played together, but sometimes his sister would snatch his truck from his hand which he was playing with. She’d not give it back, even when he begged her for his toy. Then he’d grab Georgia’s curly hair ensnaring her in a vise-like grip and whack her with the other hand. She’d cry to her dad or mom about what Henry T. had done, and they’d lecture her two-year-old brother about hitting and hair-pulling. When Henry T. got scolded, little Georgia seemed pleased.

After witnessing this behavior over a few days, I took my little granddaughter to the side and said, “Honey, Henry’s only two. He’s not four like you. He doesn’t understand when you take his toy from him to play with. If you don’t want him to get mad and pull your hair or hit you, don’t take his toy.

O.K.? You understand me, Sweetheart?”

Georgia looked up sweetly and innocently at me and then she explained with conviction, “But, Ama, don’t you know Sharing is Caring.”

The things they learn at pre-school!

Erika Hoffman niche seems to be humorous personal essays; yet, sometimes, she writes oeuvres of staggering genius. One story of hers has just been released in Chicken Soup for the Soul, Too Funny! their latest anthology. She has eight extremely attractive, overly intelligent, and pretty dang funny grandchildren who are exceedingly glad to see her when she visits, and one in particular, named Henry T., always greets her exuberantly at the door before she’s even taken off her coat or shoes: “Got presents for me?” he asks, grinning. Of course, she does.

Mon thru Sat 10-5, Sun 12-4 (unless it’s a Holiday) 720 Sunset Blvd N, Sunset Beach, NC 28468 bleuboutique.blogspot.com (910) 579-5628 @BleuInCarolina #bleuatsunset Sasee.com :: May 2022 :: 33

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The Language of Kindness

by Melissa Face

My son, Evan, was born with a kind and generous spirit. It was recognizable from an early age when he demonstrated concern for his friends and family members. People complimented my husband and me and told us we were doing a wonderful job of parenting him. We thanked them, but we often felt unworthy of the praise. Evan deserved most of the credit.

One time Evan got upset with me (mildly, of course) on an exit ramp because I didn’t stop and offer money to a man requesting help on the side of the road. It was pouring rain, and safety was my primary concern. But after Evan’s pleas, I re-entered the interstate and exited again so I could hand the man five dollars. I knew then that he could buy a meal, and my son could fall asleep that night.

Evan’s thoughtfulness isn’t limited to humans either. He can often be found rescuing caterpillars and earthworms from our gravel driveway and releasing the occasional ladybug who makes its way into our home back into the wild. He truly wants everyone (and thing) to be happy and comfortable.

So, given his nature, I wasn’t surprised when Evan told me he had befriended a new student in his third-grade class.

“His name is Kriss, and he’s from Guatemala,” Evan said.

“He doesn’t seem to understand or speak any English, but I really feel like I need to be his friend.”

I told Evan that was a great idea, and he should definitely try to make a connection. As a teacher, I have seen the difficulties that students face when transferring to a new school, and language barriers can make a child feel even more isolated.

and had already learned greetings and names of common classroom items.

Toward the end of the year, Evan’s teacher helped members of the class publish a book with their own writing and illustrations. She invited parents to attend a book signing party, and as soon as I arrived, Evan introduced me to Kriss.

The two boys then got in line for snacks, and I attempted to make myself comfortable at Evan’s desk. Once I was seated, I noticed an unfamiliar book on top of Evan’s math workbook.

It was an introductory Spanish book for children.

I asked Evan about the book when we were driving home. “I checked it out from the library,” he said. “I needed to learn a few things so I could ask Kriss how his weekend was. He has to have someone to talk with.”

I realized in the car that afternoon exactly how hard my child had been working to make sure Kriss felt welcome and part of the class. Evan had assumed responsibility for another child’s social adjustment. It was mind boggling and emotionally overwhelming. I hadn’t taught him to do that. Sure, we emphasized the importance of inclusion and friendliness, but I hadn’t told him to do that.

I’m so grateful for daily acts of kindness and people who pay it forward. I appreciate good deeds, and I try to emulate those who keep kindness at the center of all they do. I’m glad I have someone to look up to...and that he lives with me.

Evan would come home and update us on his school day, and Kriss was often part of the conversation. “Kriss has a teacher who helps him with his English during class,” Evan said. “But Kriss and I spend time together during recess. We like to swing and play basketball.”

“That’s great, honey,” I told Evan. “I’m glad you are enjoying time with your new friend.”

What I didn’t realize was how much time Evan was dedicating to being able to communicate with Kriss. He was staying up after bedtime to watch beginning Spanish videos 36 :: Sasee.com :: May 2022

Melissa Face is the author of I Love You More Than Coffee, an essay collection for parents who love coffee a lot and their kids...a little more.

Her essays and articles have appeared in Richmond Family Magazine, ScaryMommy, and twenty-one volumes of Chicken Soup for the Soul. Read more at www.melissaface.com.

Come Visit Our Boutique in Historic Georgetown Gifts | Home Decor | Fashion Jewelry | Bridal Registry Pat Puckett Fine Art

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Sasee.com :: May 2022 :: 37

Splash

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38 :: Sasee.com :: May 2022

Celebrate her this Mother’s Day

843-248-2624 317 Laurel Street Conway, SC 29526

(Closed Sunday & Monday)

Happy Mother’s Day!

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Sasee.com :: May 2022 :: 39

Dr. Christine Gerber, Co-Founder of Island Women’s Care LLC, is stepping away from day-to-day practice effective April 2022.

"It has been an absolute pleasure caring for all of my patients and they will love the wonderful Gynecologists at Island Women’s Care, who mirror my philosophy” states Dr. Gerber.

Well done Dr. Gerber and we thank you for the unselfish dedication you have given us all during your wonderful career!

38 Blackgum Road, Suite D, Pawleys Island SC 29585 (Beside PNC bank) 843-235-1222 Web: www.IslandWomensCare.com

916 N. Ocean Blvd., Myrtle Beach, SC On the Myrtle Beach Boardwalk one block south of the SkyWheel®

40 :: Sasee.com :: May 2022

You Make a Difference

Thank You Nurses

3rd Annual

North Myrtle Beach/Little River Garden Tour presented by DRIFTWOOD GARDEN CLUB

Saturday, June 4, 2022 • 10am- 4pm Advance tickets $20.00 ($25.00 after May 15) Tour includes 10 exquisite to whimsical gardens, patio tablescapes, native plants, pollinator gardens, and butterfly house displays. Enjoy a self-guided tour of the NMB Historical Museum Driftwood Garden Club Crafts for Sale To purchase tickets or for more information: Call Sandy Barker 910-641-7328 or sandrabarker13@yahoo.com.

Mail checks to 154 Pier Pointe Dr., Little River, SC 29566 (payable to Driftwood Garden Club) Will call tickets and route map will be available day of tour 9:15 - 10:45 at North Myrtle Beach Historical Museum, 2nd Ave. N, NMB

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671 Jamestown Dr., Unit R2 • Garden City, SC 29576 thecleanupclub@gmail.com Sasee.com :: May 2022 :: 41

DON’T MAKE

LD

TIRES A NEW PROBLEM!

Tires make the world go round ... but they don’t last forever.

When their time comes, it’s time to recycle. Improperly managed waste tires may create significant environmental concerns including fires and breeding habitats for mosquitoes when illegally dumped or stored.

Old tires have new lives. Tires can be turned into new roads, playground equipment, energy and more.

RECYCLE. To find the recycling center nearest you, visit www.solidwasteauthority.org or call (843) 347-1651.

REPORT. If you see a tire pile or dump, report it to your local litter control or DHEC office.

Protecting Tomorrow’s Environment Today.

(843) 347-1651

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www.SolidWasteAuthority.org

info@solidwasteauthority.org

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Advertiser Index Affordables............................................ 9 AIM | Acupuncture & Integrative Medicine............................ 43 Angel Oak Nursing & Rehab Center..................... 27 B. Graham Interiors Collection........... 17 Badcock Home Furniture & More....... 35 Bleu..................................................... 33 BloominGail’s...................................... 34 Brightwater............................................ 5 Brookgreen Gardens............................ 44 Carolina Car Care............................... 34 The Clean Up Club............................. 41 Closets by Design................................ 10 Doodlebugs......................................... 38 Dr. Grabeman..................................... 27 Driftwood Garden Club...................... 41 Dr. Jen Orthodontics........................... 38 Dr. Sattele’s Rapid Weight Loss & Esthetics Centers............................. 12 Eleanor Pitts Gifts & Jewelry............... 31 Gay Dolphin....................................... 40 Good Deed Goods.............................. 19 Grady’s Jewelers................................... 39 Grand Strand Plastic Surgery............... 39 Hope Taylor......................................... 29 Horry County Solid Waste Authority.......................... 42 Inspire Coastal Grand.......................... 25 Island Shops........................................ 21 Island Women’s Care........................... 40 James W Smith Real Estate.................... 7 Laid Back Charters.............................. 24 The Lakes at Litchfield........................... 5 Long Bay Symphony........................... 17 Low Country Treasures........................ 27 Moore, Johnson & Saraniti.................. 13 Pawleys Island Festival of Music & Art...................................... 8 Pink & Red........................................... 3 Prodigy Kitchens & Baths.................... 29 PruittHealth ......................................... 2 Rose Arbor Fabrics............................... 38 Rover Tours......................................... 38 Sara & Beth Gifts and Home............... 37 Shine Café........................................... 34 Shop Ravel.......................................... 17 Southern Splendor............................... 19 Speech Solutions.................................. 24 St. Gabriel Assisted Living & Memory Care...................................... 31 Sunset River Marketplace.................... 21 Sunspace of Myrtle Beach.................... 15 Surf Unlimited Mercantile................... 11 Wilson Senior Care.............................. 37