Sasee Magazine - November 2019

November 2019

You will be blessed the moment you realize you already are.

-Bryant McGill-

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Letter from the Editor This month’s theme is “Bless it Real Good,” and I wanted to write about how important it is to notice the many blessings in our lives and to spend a part of each day appreciating the love around us. But I know some days are harder than others. And, often, life is hard for no particular reason – or in a dozen small ways that individually would not matter at all.

Recently, I’ve had a series of those difficult days, for reasons that were both heart-wrenching and just annoying. It was hard to find the good in those experiences, but every single time the kindness of a friend made all the difference. A kind word, a joke, or a hug let me know I was loved, and I mattered. And when I thanked my friends for their support, they reminded me of the times I had done the same for them. In this month of gratitude and appreciation, I am reminded that no matter how challenging life becomes, there is always a reason to be grateful, and to appreciate this amazing life we’ve been given. I hope if you’re having “one of those days” that you remember that our Creator gives us beautiful sunsets for prayer and reflection, and spectacular sunrises to remind us that there is always another day; another chance to start again, to make a connection and find our joy.

From all of us at Sasee, we wish you a Happy Thanksgiving, surrounded by love – and, of course, delicious food!

Cover Artist

Floral Headdress, by Page Morris Page Morris grew up in Chevy Chase, Maryland, and knew she would follow a long and winding creative path. After graduating from the University of South Carolina with a B.S. in Psychology and Sociology, Page married and raised three sons.

In 2014 the artist participated in an “Emerging Artist” show at 80808 Gallery and a dual show in 2017 at Over the Mantel, both in Columbia, South Carolina. Page was featured in Columbia Magazine in 2016 and is currently represented by Over the Mantel and, Verve in Columbia, SOZO in Charlotte, North Carolina, and Charleston Artist Collective, Mt. Pleasant, South Carolina.

You will find Page painting every day in her studios in Columbia or Mt. Pleasant.

Contact her at kpagemorris@gmail.com or find her on Instagram, @pagemorrispaint, and Facebook.

November 2019 Volume 18, Issue 11

8 14 16 18 22 26 28 30 32 34 38 41 48

Can’t Argue with Ghandi

by Melissa Face

Publisher Delores Blount

Expatriate Thanksgiving

by Mari Wallace

Sales & Marketing Director Susan Bryant

Read It! Nicole Says…Read The Runaway

by Hollie Overton The Favorite Daughter

by Patti Callahan Henry Thanksgiving 101

by Jeffery Cohen A Front Row Seat to Life: Tanya Ackerman

by Leslie Moore Faith, Hope and Love

by Diane DeVaughn Stokes Journaling with GAGA

by Marsha Tennant The Birthday Bear

by Diane Stark Success Is NOT Determined by Age by “Your Insurance Lady” Lyndabeth Thomas Unexpected Blessing, How I Met My Doctor

by Margaret Bishop Zooming Out

by Liz Pardue-Schultz “Coming Home,” the 2019 Festival of Trees Sasee November Calendar

Editor Leslie Moore Account Executives Stacy Danosky Erica Schneider Gay Stackhouse Art Director Patrick Sullivan Photographer & Graphic Artist Kelly Clemmons Web Developer Scott Konradt Accounting Gail Knowles Executive Publishers Jim Creel Bill Hennecy Suzette Rogers PO Box 1389, Murrells Inlet, SC 29576 fax 843-626-6452 • phone 843-626-8911 www.sasee.com • info@sasee.com Sasee is published monthly and distributed free along the Grand Strand. Letters to the editor are welcome, but could be edited for length. Submissions of articles and art are welcome. Visit our website for details on submission.

Sasee is a Strand Media Group, Inc. publication.

Copyright © 2019. All rights reserved. Reproduction of any material, in part or in whole, prepared by Strand Media Group, Inc. and appearing within this publication is strictly prohibited. Title “Sasee” is registered with the U.S. Patent & Trademark Office.

Bless it Real Good

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Can’t Argue With Gandhi

by Melissa Face

M

ductive. I asked him instead to think of ways that he could make a difference in the lives of animals.

“What’s wrong?” I asked. “Do you feel bad?”

Evan suggested volunteering at our local animal shelter, and we agreed that we could definitely take them some food and supplies. We spent a large portion of the afternoon talking about ways Evan could help animals and participate in activities that coincide with his beliefs.

y son, Evan, jabbed his fork at the meal in front of him, but he didn’t take a bite.

“I’m fine,” Evan responded.

He continued scooting his meal across the plate, but he still didn’t eat.

“Talk to me, buddy,” I urged. “Are you sick?”

“No,” he whimpered.

Evan’s face turned crimson and tears slid down his cheeks.

“I just can’t eat meat anymore,” he said. “I don’t feel right about it. We’re being mean to them, and they didn’t do anything to us.”

My husband and I exchanged helpless glances. We were both completely caught off guard, so instead of responding too soon, we encouraged him to express his feelings.

“I just don’t think it’s right,” he continued. “Animals are my friends. They have feelings, and I feel like I need to protect them.”

“I understand,” I told him. “And I’m glad that you are comfortable telling us how you feel.”

Through tears, Evan continued telling us about his thoughts, and while he talked, I brainstormed about what I might say that could be helpful.

That night, Evan was scheduled to attend a birthday party without us.

They were eating at a fast-food chain, so Evan and I discussed possible menu items for him. I wanted to be sure he had a plan and would be able to eat something meatless.

After we picked him up, we talked more about his decision and some meatless meal options. Evan’s new diet restrictions present an additional challenge when we already deal with a nut allergy. But it’s very important to my husband and me that we listen to our children and try to support their beliefs, within reason.

So, whether it’s a true lifestyle change or a short-lived childhood phase, we’re going along on the vegetarian ride. I’m looking forward to trying some new veggie recipes on our new venture.

“I am glad that you listen to me, even though I’m still a kid,” Evan told me. “I am still figuring out the world. I know I have a lot to learn.”

“We are all figuring things out,” I agreed. “And we should always be learning something new.”

Maybe I’ll start by reading more about Gandhi.

“Plus,” Evan said, “Gandhi was a vegetarian.”

Well, I certainly didn’t know that, and I realized my child had just closed his argument with the ultimate mic drop. Not bad for an 8-year-old. How could I argue with Gandhi?

So, I encouraged Evan to do something about how he feels. I told him he could avoid meat, and we would find other sources of protein. I also reminded him that dwelling on the things that make us sad is not pro-

Melissa Face

is a teacher, writer, and mom of two, Melissa Face lives in VA with her family. Melissa’s work has been published in local and national magazines, as well as in Chicken Soup for the Soul. You can read more from her at melissaface.com.

“I realized my child had just closed his argument with the ultimate mic drop.

Not bad for an 8-year-old. How could I argue with Gandhi?”

8

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November 2019

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Health Care Partners of SC Celebrates 40 Years

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Expatriate Thanksgiving

by Mari Wallace

W

hen I close my eyes and say the word “Thanksgiving” my mind instantly conjures up that iconic Norman Rockwell painting with the happy family gathered around the festive table as the perfectly browned turkey is being presented. It is such a welcoming image – so much so that I want nothing more than to be part of that family, to be at that table, amid those smiling faces.

would always seek each other out. We simply needed to celebrate Thanksgiving together. And because we were living abroad, we felt free to experiment with variations of the traditional meal, resulting in a perfect mix of patriotism and individuality. “Do we have to have pumpkin pie?” Janet asked when our little group sat down to plan.

Celebrating Thanksgiving, especially for someone like me, who lives in another country, has always brought me back to my American heritage.

“Of course not!” came the answer. So what did we have instead?

Pecan pie!

The first time I spent Thanksgiving away from home was when I was studying at Nottingham University in England, on my “junior year abroad.” My newly-acquired English boyfriend, thinking Thanksgiving was a variation of Christmas, actually gave me a present! As it was the perfume I was using at the time, I happily accepted the gift.

And this brings me to one of the reasons why I love Thanksgiving.

It is, quintessentially, a wonderful excuse to have a fabulous feast with family – just as portrayed by Rockwell. There’s none of the stress of getting those Christmas cards out on time, finding the right present for each person on the list without going too much over budget, lining up at the post office to mail the packages. By the time the Christmas dinner comes around, I’m exhausted! With Thanksgiving, the only gift-giving is the gift of family. As I like to cook, the “burden” of preparing the feast is no burden whatsoever but a joy to plan and execute, knowing how appreciative the participants will be. Thanksgiving is quite simply eating wonderful food with the people you love. And what could be better than that?

In my early days as an ex-pat living in London, whenever the fourth Thursday in November drew near, my American friends and I

“And can we do away with cranberry sauce? Far too gloopy for my taste,” said Susan, who recommended a relish made with oranges and fresh cranberries which she was happy to make.

“What about sweet potatoes?” I asked. “I hate that yucky marshmallow topping.” So a compromise was reached there, too.

The basics stayed the same, with variations on stuffing depending upon whose turn it was to provide this part of the meal. The guys in our little group, who didn’t cook, made sure we had lovely wine to accompany the turkey.

The venue was always Susan’s centrally-located apartment. She bought the turkey (we all contributed to the cost) and the rest of us brought the trimmings. I remember with particular fondness one Thanksgiving dinner where we all consumed so much that we just could not contemplate the dessert before us, Janet’s beautiful pecan pie. Full of guilt, we showered her with compliments on her achievement but no one moved to cut a slice. Susan came to the rescue. “Come on, everyone,” she instructed. “Put on your coats and follow me.” She then marched us across Kensington Gardens and back – probably two miles in total. On our return, we were more than ready to appreciate the pie, garnished with big scoops of vanilla ice cream.

“In my early days as an ex-pat living in London, whenever the fourth Thursday in November drew near, my American friends and I would always seek each other out. We simply needed to celebrate Thanksgiving together.”

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November 2019

Because Thanksgiving is not a public holiday here in the “Mother Country,” we would always have our celebration on the weekend.

We’d each invite an English friend to join us. These friends were fascinated by the history of Thanksgiving – commemorating that very first feast shared by the Pilgrims and the Native Americans who’d helped them to survive, taught them what to plant in the new climate. We had to correct our friends’ pronunciation of Thanksgiving. The emphasis for us Americans is on the word “giving.” For some reason, the Brits put the emphasis on the “thanks” part. Not that it really mattered. To my thinking, both words, “thanks” and “giving,” are of equal importance.

Although my fellow Americans and I frequently socialized with each other during the year – meeting up at dinner parties, concerts, movies and so on – it was Thanksgiving that brought us all together as an American community, and caused us to reflect on the importance of family, especially as we were so many miles away from parents or siblings. We created our own expat family and were thankful to have found each other on an occasion that reminded us of our origins.

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A tradition we initiated as part of our celebration was for each of us in turn to say what we were thankful for. Besides the predictable ones such as good health and good friends, there were more offbeat contributions such as “I’m grateful that the New England Patriots won the Super Bowl,” or “I’m thankful that my sister’s IVF has worked,” or even “I’m thankful we’re not having pumpkin pie this year.”

My days as a “singleton” in London are long since over. But I continue to celebrate Thanksgiving – now with my Anglo-American children. I’ve instilled in them a respect for their American heritage, and a love for and appreciation of family gatherings. As I see it, that’s what Thanksgiving is all about.

Mari Wallace

worked in publishing in New York City, then moved to London, work permit in hand.

Her features have been published in many U.K. magazines - and she recently had a story in Chicken Soup for the Soul: Life Lessons from the Dog (April 2019).

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–Read It!–

Nicole Says…Read These Books The Runaway, by Hollie Overton How far will one woman go to protect her foster daughter? This is the question posed in The Runaway.

Becca Ortiz is a well-known forensic psychologist with the LAPD, who has fostered Ash for a few years.

However, when Ash seems to disappear into her old life, Becca risks everything to find her. Will Becca be able to find her daughter, or will she lose her job and everything else in the process?

Told from alternating points-of-view, readers gain an inside track into both Ash and Becca’s mindsets. As secrets unfold, readers will begin to question what is best for each of these characters. This is a very quick read, perfect for a free afternoon.

It is no secret that I love psychological thrillers, as well as books that address difficult topics. This one does both. It is a fast-paced thriller that brings readers’ attentions to many issues including homelessness and the foster care system. I have not read Hollie Overton’s other books, but I look forward to diving into Baby Doll soon.

The Favorite Daughter, by Patti Callahan Henry Lena Donohue left South Carolina, after a day that should have been the happiest day of her life. She loves her new life; however one phone call from her brother changes everything and Lena returns home to help care for her father, who was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. Forced to confront her sister, the two must find a way to set aside their anger as they try to cherish what memories their father still has, before it is too late. Going through family history, some secrets come to light. Will Lena discover what truly defines home and family?

This is the second book set in Watersend, South Carolina, but it is not necessary to read the first one in order to appreciate the powerful meanings in this story. Readers will need to prepare for an epic emotional roller coaster before reading this book. The messages of love, memories and family are so powerful readers will be thinking about this family for months after reading the final page. This is one of Patti Callahan Henry’s best novels to date.

Patti Callahan Henry is one of my favorite authors. Her books are always a delight to read, whether they are set in South Carolina, or based on historical figures. Her books always seem to live on in readers’ hearts.

This book hit very close to home for me… my family has a history of dementia and Alzheimer’s disease. Did you know that November is National Alzheimer’s Awareness Month? Now is the perfect time to read books like this one, fiction or nonfiction, and educate yourself on this illness. This Thanksgiving, be grateful for your family and friends and cherish each day.

Reviews by Nicole McManus

Nicole loves to read, to the point that she is sure she was born with a book in her hands.

She writes book reviews in the hopes of helping others find the magic found through reading.

Contact her at ARIESGRLREVIEW.COM.

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Thanksgiving 101 Y

by Jeffery Cohen

ears ago, when I was away at college, I became good friends with one of my professors. As we sat having coffee in the cafeteria, watching the school empty out for Thanksgiving Day, she told me she would be spending it alone.

“You can’t spend the holiday by yourself,” I said.

“For a professor you’ve got a lot to learn. Holidays are a time for sharing.

Why don’t you come home to my folks’ house with me?” I asked.

“I’d just be a drag,” she answered. “I’m really not into the holiday cheer thing. Besides, I’d feel like I was imposing.”

“The more the merrier.” I assured her. And so it was decided.

On the ride over, my professor friend wondered if she was under-dressed.

“Where do you think we’re going, the Waldorf?” I kidded. “Just what do you expect my folks are like?” I asked.

“Gee, I don’t know. I got the feeling that they’re kind of sophisticated. I see your father wearing a smoking jacket and puffing on a meerschaum pipe.

And I see your mother wearing a smart cocktail dress and a simple string of pearls. How close am I?” she asked.

“You’ll know soon enough,” I said as we pulled into the driveway.

As we came through the front door, we found an empty living room, the TV blaring the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade. “Anybody home?” I called out.

My father wandered in looking like Stanley Kowalski, right out of A Street Car Named Desire. He was wearing a torn white t-shirt with a nipple showing through a ripped hole, like a bull’s eye on a target. A surprised grin framed his unshaven face.

“You can just call me Stella.” My friend shrugged.

“It’s a little after eleven. You did say eleven, didn’t you?”

“Betty, didn’t you say noon?” he called over his shoulder.

“Why not?” she asked.

“Dad, this is Professor Estelle Parks.”

A mischievous grin stretched across my Dad’s face and I cringed, certain of what was coming. He raised his eyebrows threw back his head and cried out. “Stellllllllaaaaaa!” Then he checked his watch. “You’re early.”

My mother, in a floral house dress, her hair tucked under a powder blue kerchief, bounced out of the kitchen, a ladle in hand. “You know I said eleven,” she explained as she wiped her greasy hands on her apron. “Now go in and change that shirt,” she ordered, shaking her head. “You must be Stella.”

“Stelllllaaaa!” My father yelled from the bedroom.

Mom wrapped her arms around Stella, giving her a big bear hug.

“This is for you.” Stella awkwardly handed over an expensive bottle of French Bordeaux.

“Well, isn’t that nice of you,” Mom said as she glanced at the label.

“Jeffery, go into the fridge and get out a bottle of ginger ale. We can make spritzers.”

“Mom, I think maybe we should just drink this wine as...wine.” I blushed.

“Well...I guess we could. I’ll get some glasses.” Then she disappeared into the kitchen.

“No, Mom. Not those.” I pushed aside the glasses that my mother had collected from the take-home packs of ready-to-eat shrimp cocktail from the A & P.” “But they’re perfectly fine. They have that nice, fancy shape.” she explained.

“Use the ones I bought you for Christmas.”

“But, I’m saving those for a special occasion.”

“This is a special occasion.”

“For the next hour, we sipped spritzers and made small talk with my folks while they prepared dinner. Like two matched cogs in a machine, they were perfectly in sync.”

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“Well...Maybe you’re right.”

“You eat all you want. There are four more just like these out there.”

I uncorked the bottle and poured wine into four slender glasses. My mother took a sip and scrunched up her face. “Oh no, honey. This could definitely use some ginger ale. What do you think, Stella?”

“Four more?” Stella asked, surprised.

Stella raised the glass to her lips and sipped thoughtfully. With the ease of a true diplomat, she said, “Hmmm. I think your mother’s right. It could definitely use some ginger ale.”

For the next hour, we sipped spritzers and made small talk with my folks while they prepared dinner. Like two matched cogs in a machine, they were perfectly in sync. When Mom lifted a pot top, Pop handed her the strainer she needed. Dad chopped and diced vegetables on a wooden cutting board. As his blade made the final slice, Mom was taking down the salad bowl from a shelf. They moved around each other like rehearsed ballet dancers.

A slew of serving dishes were filled and carried to the table as Mom opened the oven. The scent of the turkey wafted through the room as Dad slid the twenty-pound bird out.

“Stella, why don’t you sit in the back,” Mom said as she grabbed hold of the table top.

I rushed in front of Stella like a knight in shining armor trying to protect a damsel in distress. “I’ll sit in the back,” I volunteered, having been through this drill since I was in high school.

“No, no, honey. I may need you to get up and get something.” My mother explained. “Go ahead Stella. You sit in the back.” As Mom lifted the table’s end an inch from the ground, and slid it out so that Stella could squeeze in behind, the back leg of the table dropped off and hit the floor with a hollow thump. Dad casually reached down and grabbed hold of it.

“Just sit right down, Stella,” Dad instructed. Once she had taken her seat, my father slipped the leg back into place, and Mom lowered the table.

“There we are. So let’s give thanks for the food we’re about to receive.

Let’s give thanks for the good company and... let’s eat.” My mother smiled as she handed me a second plate. “Jeffery always gets two plates.

He just can’t fit everything he likes on one plate.” Embarrassed, I buried my head in my hands.

The meal proved to be even tastier than it smelled, and it smelled delicious. I have to admit, we put a pretty good dent in that turkey and, as it turns out, I did need both plates. After dinner, Mom put a pot of coffee on the stove to percolate as she brought in an apple and a pumpkin pie from the porch. “I baked yesterday afternoon.”

“They’re beautiful.” Stella complimented.

“Mom feels that if you’re going to bake, why go through all that trouble for just one measly little pie,” I added.

“It’s true,” Mom admitted. “Let’s have another cup of coffee, and let’s have another piece of pie,” she sang.

“You have a great voice,” Stella commented.

“When the kids were little, we’d finish dinner, have dessert, and we’d sit around the table and sing for hours. Remember, honey?”

“I remember,” I said, a bit embarrassed.

“Over there, over there, send the word, send the word, over there...” Dad’s rich baritone voice sang out.

Just as I was ready to say, “Okay, that’s enough of that,” Stella joined in.

“That the Yanks are coming, the Yanks are coming...”

“You know that song?” I asked.

“George M. Cohan. From the movie, Yankee Doodle Dandy,” she shot back proudly. “A rum dum dumin everywhere.”

That began a sing-a-long that lasted well into the night.

With our bellies full and our throats strained, we said our thank yous, our goodbyes, and headed for the car. Before we could get out of the driveway my mother came running after us with a shopping bag full of turkey sandwiches and two pies. “In case you get hungry on the way home.” She smiled, and then waved to us.

As we drove off, I turned to Stella. “So, did you have a good time?”

She smiled broadly. “A great time. This is one professor who learned a valuable lesson about that ‘holiday cheer thing,’ thanks to her prize student, and Thanksgiving 101!”

Jeffery Cohen

Freelance writer and newspaper columnist, Jeffery Cohen, has written for Sasee, Lifetime and Read, Learn, Write. He’s won awards in Women-On-Writing Contest, Vocabula’s Well Written Contest, National League of American Pen Women’s’ Keats Competition, Southern California Genealogy Competition, and Writer’s Weekly writing contest.

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A Front Row Seat to Life: Tanya Ackerman

by Leslie Moore

F

or those of us on Facebook, the name Tanya Ackerman conjures up breathtaking images of the natural world surrounding her beloved Pawleys Island. This award-winning photojournalist’s followers eagerly await her daily jaw dropping photo, posted with an always-positive message. Most mornings find her on the beach, always in her trademark hat, skillfully capturing the beauty of Pawleys Island.

Tanya is just as well known for her work as staff photojournalist for the Coastal Observer. The stories and emotions she shares through her photography have earned her the South Carolina Press Association’s Photojournalist of the Year award three times since 2006. Tanya has also published a popular pictorial landscape book and calendar, Chasing the Light, documenting the beauty of our coastal environment.

Her beautiful coffee table book is so popular that Tanya is currently working on a second volume, to be released in November of 2020.

Both of Tanya’s parents are artists.

Her late mother was a photographer and a radio program director, and Tanya’s dad is a professional musician – Bob Ackerman and his wife, Pam Purvis, are well known in the jazz world and the duo plays locally to packed houses. It’s no surprise that Tanya is one of the area’s most sought after photographers.

However, these accomplishments did not come easily, and Tanya’s success came through perseverance and hard work, in spite of challenging circumstances. “I graduated from Arts Magnet High School in Dallas, and got pregnant at the end of that summer,”

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Tanya began. “My daughter, Lauren, now 33, is my most favorite person in the world!”

For nearly ten years, Tanya worked a variety of jobs. “I thought I wanted to be in fashion so I moved to New York, and worked for Saks, Neiman Marcus, and Marshall Fields & Co. But it’s a tough business – one day I realized I didn’t want to do it anymore.”

During these years, Tanya had always rented a room wherever she was living to help make ends meet. “I rented to a photographer who told me I had the eye. People kept telling me I had an eye for photography.”

When Lauren was seven years old, Tanya packed up and moved to Hinckley, Ohio, where her mother was living, to start college, but she wasn’t yet sure what she wanted to do. “I asked my dad, who was living in Newark, New Jersey, at the time, to send me to take an aptitude test. It told me I should be a photographer, an interior designer or a psychologist.”

Tanya decided she wanted to attend Kent State, but was concerned her high school grades weren’t good enough. “At 28, I was terrified I wouldn’t remember anything and I wasn’t sure I could actually make it,” she remembered with a small smile on her face. “I talked to the head of the photography department and it turned out they were looking for non-traditional students – they welcomed with open arms.” Kent State has one of the best photojournalism departments in the country, and Tanya had always loved documentary work, so she chose her major without a second thought.

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November 2019

Within the first year, this budding photojournalist was chosen to be photo editor of the campus magazine, a paid position perfect for the struggling student. “We were named number one college magazine by the Society of Professional Journalists for three years,” Tanya told me proudly.

When an artist finds their medium, nothing can stop them, and this was true of Tanya. She started entering contests to build a portfolio – and winning many of them. “I’ve always been inspired by artists like Norman Rockwell, and Life Magazine photographers.

I love those moments of Americana, the historical moments.”

During her junior year, Tanya was recruited by USA Today, to work for a newspaper in Greenville, South Carolina. She had a job, doing what she loved. “All of a sudden I knew who I was,” Tanya said with awe, still overwhelmed by the path that brought her to where she is today.

Greenville was home to Tanya and Lauren until Lauren graduated from high school. “Lauren was my everything. She still is. And I still miss her.” Continuing, Tanya said, “You’re only as good as the

last picture you took. It can drive you a little mad,” Tanya laughed a little, but I could see the truth behind her humor. With Lauren off to school, Tanya was ready for a change. She interviewed with several newspapers around the country, but chose Pawleys Island’s Coastal Observer. “I had photographed a wedding at the Pelican Inn, in August, while I was living in Greenville. Even though I was dripping sweat, I looked around and thought it would be incredible to live here.”

A boyfriend of Tanya’s helped her move and while she was unpacking he went to look around. “He found the Pawleys Island Tavern, the PIT, which was a real local’s hangout back then. Some of the friends I made that first day are still a big part of my life.”

The success of her work and an almost continuous succession of awards hid much of the pain that Tanya kept from most who knew her. “I started having serious anxiety in college. People think you stand behind the camera and shoot pretty pictures, but it’s so much more than that.”

“It’s hard to live in a place where everyone is on vacation and not

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lot of time and energy!” Fortunately for us, Tanya decided to start photographing sunrises, getting up every day before the sun to find the perfect light. “I felt like I was channeling my mom who died 11 years ago.” Tanya began “chasing the light” daily – sunrises, sunsets and the light between storms.

A local benefactor approached Tanya and wanted to help her produce a book showcasing her work. Like everything she does, Tanya made this book a work of art – and judging by her phenomenal sales, her fans agree. The popularity of her work soon led to an annual pictorial calendar that also flies off the shelves every year.

party all the time. I was always a hard worker, but I was the first one at happy hour and maybe the last to leave at night,” Tanya told me frankly. “I finally faced the fact that my drinking was out of control.

And I had been prescribed anxiety medication in college and continued to take it daily. I would drink until I felt better, wake up panic stricken and take a pill. My anxiety was terrible; sometimes all I could do was rock and rock in a fetal position. I now know the alcohol was causing it.”

At 46, Tanya finally reached her bottom. Her drinking had spiraled; she had basically stopped eating because she couldn’t hold down food. Her alcoholism was killing her. “I collapsed and a friend called an ambulance. The ER doctor said he didn’t understand why I still had kidney and liver function. He told me he was going to admit me and get me straightened out, but if I didn’t change, I would die.”

Tanya was hospitalized for a week and luckily listened to her doctor’s advice. When she was released, she found she had lost her home. “Friends put some of my things in storage.” She was also in intense pain. “I walked like a 90 year old woman and if someone even touched me lightly, I would cry out.”

The only thing that never suffered was Tanya’s work ethic. “I was still producing. I went right back to work when I was released from the hospital.” During the worst years of her alcoholism, Tanya continued to win awards, never letting anything stop her from excelling.

Now almost six years sober, Tanya is healthy and happy. “At first, I didn’t know what to do with all of my extra time. Partying takes a

“I was able to pay back my benefactor in one month,” Tanya told me proudly. “I had the first book signing at the PIT, and when people lined up to get a book signed or take a photo with me, I was humbled and overwhelmed. We ran out of books in an hour that day.”

“Being a photojournalist allows me to capture the moments and history of our time. I have a front row seat to life. In chasing the light, I look for moments, using my photojournalist training to capture pictorial landscapes. Mother nature is where I find my spirituality.”

Tanya’s book and calendar, Chasing the Light, is available in Pawleys Island at Art Works, Litchfield Books, Palmetto Ace Hardware, The Original Hammock Shop, My Sister’s Books, and Bienvenue in Georgetown, as well as other retailers.

To see more of her work, find her on Facebook, @tanya.ackerman58 or at www.tanyaackerman.com.

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Faith, Hope and Love W

by Diane DeVaughn Stokes

ith the holiday season upon us, it is the perfect time to remind ourselves that not everyone celebrates the end of the year in the same way. Take it from someone who went to Catholic school with the name “Goldenberg.”

Back then I wondered why the nun’s eyebrows went up when they called the role each day. I was raised Catholic, but my birth father, who was never much of a father and left Mom and me when I was nine months old, was Jewish. I call him simply “the sperm donor.” Hence the name “Goldenberg,” but I was in church with the rosary beads in my hand every time the doors opened. Yet, I attended lots of Jewish events like Bar Mitzvah’s and such with my paternal grandparents.

As a kid, it was confusing trying to understand religion and where it might lead me in my path ahead. But I am so grateful during this Thanksgiving season to have learned early on that God loves us all, regardless of our faith. I remember asking my mom if my Jewish side of the family was going to go to Heaven. That worried me. And she replied, “Absolutely.

God loves all of his children. Besides, Jesus and His family are Jewish.’

Way to go Mom. She always had the right answers at the right time.

My maternal grandparents, who Mom and I lived with, had religious differences too. My grandfather was Episcopalian and whenever he would have too much drink, especially Friday nights after being out with his pool-shooting buddies, he would come home to my very Catholic grandmother and debate the birth of Jesus. “I will never understand how you Catholics could possibly believe that Mary was a virgin!” Pop knew it would get my grandmother’s goat every time she yelled at him for coming home intoxicated. He was never a mean drunk, but rather silly and goofier after a few drinks.

I know folks don’t mean to sound harsh but that line always gets to me.

You rarely hear anyone say, “She is such a good Jew.” But if your circle of friends does not include people of other faiths, just know they are out there in record numbers and are doing great things in the world, just like Christians. As difficult as it was growing up trying to understand religion and faith among my various family members, I am grateful that I was taught to be open-minded and to show respect to others for who they are and what they believe.

One of the moments I am most thankful for came when I led singing sessions at Brightwater Nursing Center. At the time, I was guardian for two of their residents and was asked to lead some Christmas songs one afternoon. As everyone knows, elderly people may not know what day it is or where they live, but will react to music in a gigantic way. After singing three popular Christmas songs, I noticed a woman named Mildred not singing, yet clapping along with the others. When I asked if she had ever heard these songs, she said, “Yes, but I am Jewish and don’t know the words.” That’s when I broke into a few verses of my Jewish grandmother’s favorite song in Hebrew. I’ll never forget the light in Mildred’s eyes and her smile as she joined me in song.

I may not understand all other faiths, but I respect those who lead good lives, helping their neighbors with goodwill in their hearts. Let’s not get caught up this year in wishing or not wishing people Merry Christmas or Happy Hanukkah. I respond to all with, “Have a blessed season,” because it truly is. As I sit before a Thanksgiving table full of turkey and stuffing and family members I treasure, I will be thankful for so many things, but mostly grateful I was raised in a diverse family that taught me to have faith in God, hope for better things to come in the world, and love and respect for all of God’s children.

Recently I lost my cool twice over comments made by friends. One who is a realtor said he was showing a house to some folks who gave a lowball offer on a house. And without repeating what he said – you can only imagine! Duh! Who would not want to start low! It’s part of the game.

Another instance was when a friend was describing a couple I did not know but she wanted me to meet so I could network with them job-wise in the community. She said, “You will love them. They are such good Christians.”

I replied a little sharply, “I would love them if they were such good Hebrews too.”

Diane DeVaughn Stokes

Diane is the host and producer for “Inside Out” as seen on HTC TV Channel 4, and serves as a commercial spokesperson for several local businesses. She and her husband Chuck own Stages Video productions in Myrtle Beach and share passions for food, theater, travel and scuba diving.

They own three four legged kids that they adore!

“As a kid, it was confusing trying to understand religion and where it might lead me in my path ahead. But I am so grateful during this Thanksgiving season to have learned early on that God loves us all, regardless of our faith.”

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November 2019

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Journaling with GAGA I

by Marsha Tennant

am learning to journal….AGAIN.

There are boxes and boxes of them stored in my attic. The oldest one is a Blue Mead spiral notebook that I wrote in as a ten year old. It’s not complete but rather bits and pieces of family gatherings, holidays and even a first kiss. Others in my collection include high school musings with football games and prom tickets tucked among the yellowing pages.

Not to be outdone by my collection, Preston Blane gathered markers, pens, pictures and tons of stickers so we could begin journaling together.

He quickly added that I needed to follow his lead and be more creative in my approach. He indicated that I didn’t need to write so many words when pictures would work. Smart boy! Less is more!

And so it began…

The one that I took with me to London, England, in 1966 is part travel guide and part an eighteen year old’s amazing high school graduation trip to meet my pen pal, Wendy. Clearly I was too young and immature to appreciate the gift of traveling abroad. But I had fun and recorded pub visits in the same paragraph as the trip to the Tower of London. I wrote it all down and savored every new adventure. I lived with my pen pal’s family for a month. They graciously shared their day to day lives with me. At least I had the good sense to write about the daily trips to the market, food and driving on “the wrong side of the road.” In graphic detail I wrote about the Hampton Jazz Festival. What an eye opener for a Southern Baptist girl!

We wrote together almost every day over the holiday break. As the daily routine returned we found that Sunday mornings worked well for us.

For the past year we have continued to meet on my bed with our journal and materials surrounding us. We have a box full of magazine pictures, stickers and other “stuff ” as he calls it to create our next entry. I have gotten good at simple illustrations and combining stickers with my drawings. It is amazing how these uncomplicated activities have released my inner child and allowed me to get to the point on my colorful pages.

Sometimes we work quietly and other times we talk about everything and nothing. We always read our entries out loud when we finish. We trust one another. It is a special time for both of us.

Incomplete journals bridge my college years to my transition into an innocent (well-not too innocent) young woman. Weekend jaunts from a small Methodist college in North Carolina, to the Mall in Washington DC, to protest and march, remind me of how much those experiences shaped my values and passions. Musings about being a military wife facing long deployments for my Coastie reveal how young love can overcome just about anything.

Even when we aren’t journaling we are thinking about it. On our outings we search for creative goodies to add to our box. An AC Moore coupon means discounted treasures beyond our imaginations. A trip to Ollies is our “journaling gone wild” excursion. We are branching out and becoming more daring on each page.

Six plus decades fill boxes with journals in all shapes and sizes. Thumbing through them I recognize patterns that I repeated throughout the pages.

Included were the trending now lists like “ten things I am grateful for” and “what makes me happy.” Those reflective and somewhat humorous entries mirrored my thoughts and emotions.

The GAGA and PB journaling attic box has begun. We have contributed to it over the past year. It is fun to take one out and reread from a few months ago. It’s our timeline with one another. Recently, we were busy writing and I told him that when it is my time to pass over I want him to haul my old butt out on the porch and read from our journals so I can take our stories with me. He hugged me and said “I promise, GAGA.”

And this leads to my revised journaling experience….

Last Christmas my grandson was given a journal by his YAYA Cheri.

He was totally immersed in the prompts and illustrations on each page.

I shared with him that I had boxes of them in the attic. Of course he wanted to see them. I began with a few of them and he quickly asked to see more. We spent an afternoon thumbing through the pages until his questions exhausted me. I was giving him a history lesson as well as insight into my life before I was GAGA.

Marsha Tennant

is the author of two rescue pirate dog adventures- MARGARET PIRATE QUEEN and MARGARET AND THE DIAMOND KEY MYSTERY. She spends her free time supporting animal rescue and Freedom Readers.

“At least I had the good sense to write about the daily trips to the market, food and driving on “the wrong side of the road.” In graphic detail I wrote about the Hampton Jazz Festival. What an eye opener for a Southern Baptist girl!”

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November 2019

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The Birthday Bear

by Diane Stark

I

“ went to the mall to buy you a birthday present, but the lady

at the store was really rude to me,” my husband said as he came home from work on my 24th birthday, just a few days before Thanksgiving.

“She was rude?” I said, struggling to stand up as my enormously pregnant belly weighed me down.

He reached out a hand to help me. “At first, she was helpful and nice, but the more we talked, the ruder she got. By the time I paid for the gift, she was treating me like I was a criminal or something.”

“What did you talk about?”

“Well, I went to the collectibles store to buy you one of those teddy bear figurines you like,” he said. “I saw a cute one on the very top shelf, so I pointed at it and told her I needed to buy it for my very pregnant wife for her birthday. The lady smiled and told me what a sweet husband I was. But as soon as she saw which bear I was buying, her whole demeanor changed. She shook her head and acted like I was gum on her shoe.”

I shook my head. “That’s so weird.”

“It was really uncomfortable, so I tried to make things better by talking to her. I told her what a trooper you’ve been throughout this pregnancy. I told her about that screening test and how it said that there might be something wrong with the baby, but it turned out they’d entered in your age incorrectly, which made the test produce a false positive.”

“Wow, you told her our whole life story.”

“Like I said, I was trying to make it less awkward, but it didn’t work. When I told her we didn’t think anything would be wrong with the baby because you’re so young, she looked like she’d just

sucked on a lemon. Then she asked me how old I was. When I told her I was 24, her disdain grew even more.” He shrugged. “So I just kept talking. I told her that even though you had morning sickness, you hadn’t missed a single day of school throughout the entire pregnancy.”

I nodded. “That’s because writing plans for a substitute teacher is almost as much work as just going to school and teaching my class myself.”

“Yeah, but that part seemed to make her mad too. She just stared at me and shook her head. I was so happy to finally get your present and get out of there.”

“Speaking of my present, can I have it now?”

He went into the kitchen and returned with a bag. “Sorry it’s not wrapped. In the beginning, when the lady was still being nice, she offered to gift-wrap it, but when her demeanor changed, I didn’t want to be there any longer than I absolutely had to.”

He handed it to me. Carefully, I opened the box and saw an adorable teddy bear figurine, sitting on a blanket beside a birthday cake. I looked a little closer and burst out laughing.

“Don’t you like it?” He asked, clearly hurt.

Without speaking, I turned the figurine around to face him so he could read the writing on the birthday cake.

“Happy Sweet 16,” he read out loud. “I didn’t notice that part in the store.” His confused look slowly turned to horror as he realized why the lady’s demeanor had changed. “That lady thought I was a 24-year-old man having a baby with a 16-year-old girl.”

I giggled. “A 16-year-old girl who hasn’t missed a day of her

“The lady smiled and told me what a sweet husband I was. But as soon as she saw which bear I was buying, her whole demeanor changed. She shook her head and acted like I was gum on her shoe.”

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Sasee.com

November 2019

sophomore year because of morning sickness.”

He slapped his palm on his forehead. “No wonder she treated me like I was a criminal. Someone my age having a baby with a 16-yearold actually is a crime.”

Is your car ready for the holidays?

I couldn’t stop laughing. “You should go back and buy another bear after the baby is born. Just to see what she says.”

“I’m never stepping foot in that store again.” He grimaced. “Except to exchange that bear for a different one, I guess.”

I hugged the figurine to me. “No way. I’m keeping it. It makes for a great story, which I can’t wait to share around the Thanksgiving table.”

He shook his head. “This is so embarrassing.”

“It’s too funny not to tell people,” I insisted. Telling that story was the highlight of my Thanksgiving that year. Usually it’s my mom’s awesome cooking, but I could hardly eat any of her delicious food because of the seven-pound baby crowding my stomach and making me feel full after just a few bites.

It was totally worth it though. Two weeks later, our baby boy was born, healthy and perfect.

And his two 24-year-old parents had never been prouder.

Or more grateful.

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Diane Stark

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Her essays have been published in over 20 Chicken Soup for the Soul books.

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Success Is NOT Determined by Age by “Your Insurance Lady” Lyndabeth Thomas

Upstate, and he helped me get started selling supplemental insurance, like AFLAC. I started cold calling. I would go into offices and talk to them about offering their employees supplemental insurance. It didn’t cost the employer a dime, but the employees benefited. I loved it! I was good at it! I found my niche.

Then the Affordable Care Act came into play and mandated that everyone get insurance. Because of my work, I already had a client base.

If the businesses I worked with met the requirements, they were required to offer their employees insurance – and if not, the individuals could get their own policy.

I’ve been selling insurance for 10 years now – and have enjoyed every minute. I specialize in the Affordable Care Act and Medicare. The open enrollment period starts November 1st and runs through December 15th – health insurance open enrollment is ONLY 45 days, except in certain circumstances, while Medicare is year round for those turning 65. I understand how confusing it can be. I would much rather see someone get a good health insurance policy even if they don’t buy a supplemental policy from me. It’s much easier to take care of healthy people.

A

t 67, I’m doing work I love, but I took a long, winding path to get here! In the ‘90s, I was operations manager for Morgan Stanley and responsible for about 15 financial advisors. Around 2001, the home office decided to close our branch and moved all the financial advisors to different offices. Unfortunately, I was the casualty – and I was in my early 50s.

Next, I went to work for a civil engineering firm as office manager. It was a fun job, and I was able to help the company make money. But, in 2008, the economy tanked and the home office closed my branch – and again, I was out of work. By that time, I was in my mid-50s. But, I picked myself up and started again – this time I took a job with a large accounting firm. It wasn’t the friendliest place to work. I would say good morning when I arrived every day and the accountants would look at me like I was crazy! [laughing] Believe it or not, the firm closed, and I was out of a job. For the third time!

Who would hire me at nearly 60? And pay me the salary I was used to making? I had always been interested in insurance, so I learned the business and got my license. I have a cousin that sells insurance in the

32

I’m a 67 year old woman who works when she wants and loves what she does. I am living proof that age is not a factor when you are determined to succeed. My husband and I have lived in Myrtle Beach for 30 years and have never been happier. Our only daughter is a flight attendant, and because we get free tickets, we travel when we can – mostly to see her of course.

I am available to help with any of your insurance questions or concerns, or if you would like to obtain health insurance for yourself and/or your family, feel free to call me, “Your Insurance Lady” Lynda Thomas, at 843-457-1180.

Lyndabeth Thomas is a local, South Carolina licensed and insured health insurance agent. “Your Insurance Lady” is FFM Certified and is in the 2018 and 2019 Elite Circle of Champions. (This is recognition by the Federal government for assisting over 100 new clients each year.) Using a licensed agent to obtain your 2020 coverage will help you find the best price and most complete coverage to fit your individual needs.

Sasee.com

Contact Lynda at 843-457-1180 or email afforablecareactsc@gmail.com.

November 2019

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Family - owned restaurant located in the North Litchfield Beach section of Pawleys Island, SC Open 7 Days a Week at 4pm Happy Hour & Early Bird Specials are available from 4-6pm daily 14360 Ocean Hwy • Pawley s Island (843) 235-3021 • www.hanserhouse.com

Did you know you can only buy health insurance during Open Enrollment?

Open Enrollment is only 45 days Nov 1 to Dec 15 each year.

Do you need help finding AFFORDABLE health insurance?

Are you turning 65 and confused by Medicare?

Call “Your Insurance Lady”

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33

Unexpected Blessing: How I Met My Doctor

by Margaret Bishop

O

ur eyes met across the children’s clothing racks at Macy’s – my belly ripe and swollen in the last month of pregnancy – she was wearing that content but tired look that is characteristic of moms of young children. I can’t recall how our conversation began or what it was about her demeanor that made my anxiety and fears about the upcoming arrival of my newborn pour out of me like a sieve, but there was “something” there. Maybe it was an immediate sense of trust? A sense of camaraderie? Maybe it was just two moms that sensed they shared the same viewpoint on what it means to be entrusted with the care of a precious new life in this crazy, beautiful and sometimes scary world? It wasn’t a traditional way to meet your child’s pediatrician but that’s how it happened. And 18 years later, it’s proof that sometimes the most valued relationships in life arrive in the most unexpected of ways.

I remember getting into the car with my older sister that day when we left the mall and telling her that I thought I’d chosen my unborn son’s pediatrician at Macy’s. She was gentle with me as she was well aware of the stress and anxiety that my son’s life-threatening diagnosis had placed upon my pregnancy, but she couldn’t resist questioning. “Isn’t that a little weird to choose your child’s doctor while shopping for clothes?”

I was silent. It just felt so right to me.

She began again with loving concern in her voice. “I mean, is this doctor legitimate – trolling for patients in a shopping mall?”

Phrased that way, the whole idea of making this important decision based on a fifteen minute conversation – a decision made even more important by the fact that we’d already been told that our son

would be born critically ill – seemed ridiculous. And yet, I couldn’t let it go. I held tightly to the business card I’d received from my new acquaintance and made a mental note to schedule an appointment to visit her pediatric practice before our little bundle of joy made his appearance.

As it turned out, I never visited the practice. Life intervened. Time got away. And the next thing I knew, we were giving birth to an 8-pound baby boy with a complex congenital heart defect in the operating room of MUSC’s Children’s Hospital with a NICU and surgical team on standby. We held our son for the briefest of moments before he was whisked away from us to undergo a battery of tests to ensure the best possible start to what began as a fragile life, and we didn’t actually get to hold him again until a few days later as we sat joyful and frightened amidst the constant commotion of the Pediatric Cardiac Intensive Care unit.

Ten long and yet short days later, we were discharged with complete care of our very special heart baby. In some ways, it didn’t seem right. What were they thinking sending a twenty-something husband and wife home in charge of a baby whose every heartbeat was a miracle? Before we were allowed to leave the hospital, we had to have a local pediatrician on record for our son’s care. I’d never made any of the planned office visits to numerous practices to “interview” providers, and we had no references on physicians except for the word of mouth recommendations from friends.

But I did have that business card and that inexplicable feeling that the woman I’d met in Macy’s could possibly be the lifeline we so desperately craved as we left the children’s hospital in Charleston for the two hour car ride home. To my husband’s credit, he never questioned why I felt that a brief conversation among the clothing

“We held our son for the briefest of moments before he was whisked away from us to undergo a battery of tests to ensure the best possible start to what began as a fragile life…”

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November 2019

racks superseded any recommendations from friends. In fact, he too seemed to have that “feeling” that we should trust our gut and go not with what we knew in our head but what we felt in our heart.

The matter was settled before we ever set foot back in our home.

The doctor from Macy’s had become “our” doctor.

In the weeks and months and years that have followed, that brief conversation in the mall multiplied into I don’t know how many conversations and office visits as we approach eighteen years under the care of a woman that we absolutely adore as the pediatrician for our entire family. She is kind, knowledgeable, competent, and our trusted medical guide. The two of us have chuckled through the years at the unconventional beginning of our relationship. She has echoed the sentiment that she doesn’t typically “pick up” patients in public places, but that there was some connection between the two of us that day over the clothing racks that made our exchange seem entirely fitting.

As we have gotten to know each other better over the years, I suspect that there must have been something in my manner that day that awakened her desire to help a person in need. It may have been a hint of anxiety in my eyes as I hesitantly answered her innocuous pleasantry of “When are you due?” It may have been a slight quiver in my voice. It may have been any number of things that I may never identify or remember, as often the most important of moments don’t actually appear to be all that important when you are in the midst of them. Whatever it might have been that day – a random coincidence or a gentle nudge from heaven above – I’m so grateful that fate conspired to place us among the shopping racks of Macy’s together. Whatever I purchased is long gone, but what my family was gifted from that brief interaction with a stranger has endured.

2019 Historic Marion Christmas

Tour of Homes, Bazaar & Luncheon Saturday, December 14, 2019 2pm-6pm

2 Bed & Breakfasts, Historical Presbyterian Church, The Loft at 109, The Groundout Coffee Bar & Several Private Homes

Saturday, December 14, 2pm-6pm Home Tour Tickets ~ $20 Luncheon ~ $10 (12 - 2pm) Bazaar ~ 10am - 2pm

Margaret Bishop

lives in her hometown of Camden, South Carolina, with her husband, Matt, and three children - David, Olivia and Thomas. She is going on four fun years of teaching 3 year old preschool and is an occasional writer and avid reader in her spare time.

Contact Marion Chamber of Commerce for more information

843-423-3561

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South Myrtle Beach 843-626-7272 Myrtle Beach (Kings Rd) 843-839-1777

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Cleaning & Linen Rentals 843-299-0247

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Designs From the Past for Homes of Today

Still conveniently located in the heart of Myrtle Beach.

So much to see- It’s worth the trip!

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843-626-3404 • 801 N Kings Hwy, Downtown Myrtle Beach • www.housepartshardware.com

Sasee Says . . . Shop Local!

Support your Neighbors and Friends

In 2010, Small Business Saturday was established by American Express as a day to support small businesses. We all have our favorite restaurants, boutiques and stores whose offerings make us swoon. Gosh we love it when they treat us like family.

Join Sasee in shopping small and shopping local! Local merchants offer unique gifts that your loved ones will treasure, plus you will feel good about helping your neighbor support her family.

Zooming Out

by Liz Pardue-Schultz

H

ey, hon?” I breathed deeply and forced a playful tone. “Remember that time we were stranded at LAX after our flight out of Hawaii got cancelled and it was 3 am and we had barely three hours until we had to catch the next connector flight and I was still recovering from the worst tummy troubles of my life because I’d had a whole two-pound bag of gift shop macadamia nuts in lieu of a real dinner while we were waiting to hear information at that tiny airport in Kaua’i?”

“

My new husband sighed. “Yeah, I remember that,” he smirked a little. “…vaguely.”

A genuine smile trickled across my lips, “That was pretty hilarious when you think about it.”

He rolled his eyes, squeezed my hand, and smiled back for the first time in at least 36 hours. We were, in fact, still standing in the taxi lane outside LAX at 3 am, two days after we had expected to be back home from our honeymoon. Our luggage could’ve been anywhere between the Pacific and the Eastern Seaboard, and we had been sustaining ourselves on whatever hyper-processed airport food was most affordable, which explained the disaster I had wrought upon our last flight’s lavatory.

Additionally, we had returned to the mainland just hours after news of the 2008 stock market crash had swept the country, so our stress of returning home was exacerbated by the collective anxiety of everyone along the way. Needless to say, it had not been a great day.

In that moment, I thought we needed a laugh – just a moment of levity to remind us that, if we were to act as though we were observing our life through a camera lens and “zoom out” on the situation at hand, looking at it from the perspective of an audience member viewing our life as a movie, it’s probably not so bad in the grand story of our life together.

What I didn’t realize was that, in that moment, I was setting up a small ritual that proved to be a gift in the years to come.

There were many, many times I’ve been too caught up in my own emotions to try it, but, when properly executed, it slices through our tension like a hot knife. In those quiet moments of repose after disaster has struck, I’ll venture a little shift of perspective by means of a comically descriptive run-on sentence.

Sometimes, I use it to build a bridge by incorporating my shortcomings when I’m describing the ridiculousness of the situation (e.g. “Remember that time I said the dumb thing at the wrong time because I’m a stubborn, pompous jerk sometimes, and then we got all mad and were yelling about something that wasn’t even important enough to be mad about because we love each other and we’re fine in general? I’m sorry.”) and sometimes it’s a means to remind each other that it’s okay to laugh when things are really frustrating but otherwise inconsequential (e.g.

“Remember that time we spent a whole month intricately crafting props and decor for our daughter’s big birthday party and then all the guests tore through the activities and food and our house in the first 15 minutes so we sent them outside for the last hour-and-a-half to run around and whack each other with pool noodles until their parents showed up?

Good times!”)

Over time, my methodology has evolved; these days, all I have to do is say, “Let’s just zoom out on this for a minute…” and we both pause to look at the whole picture, our priorities, and how we want to navigate the situation from here. It isn’t foolproof, but more often than not, treating our troubles as though they are already in our rearview mirror gives us relief from having to figure out the next steps through it. Most importantly, however, it has reminded us that we’ve gotten through every other obstacle life has thrown in our path; we’re going to enjoy the ride more if we learn how to laugh along the way.

As anyone who has ever been in any sort of relationship (familial, platonic, romantic or otherwise) with another human being would know, there were plenty more rough days in store for us after that. Some of those days extended far longer than we’d ever expected, turning into months - sometimes years - of tribulation. It wasn’t easy, but whenever I could, I enacted the “Zoom Out” method we’d tried on that first fateful trip home.

Liz Pardue-Schultz

is a “Jill of all trades” who lives in North Carolina and writes about her adventures.

Her words have been published in Huff Post, XOJane, Time.com, and a ridiculous number of Letters to the Editor columns.

“What I didn’t realize was that, in that moment, I was setting up a small ritual that proved to be a gift in the years to come.”

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November 2019

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Hospice is about preserving hope. It is about facing reality and making transitions that are good for the patient and the family.

Hospice is for anyone with a life limiting illness regardless of age.

Hospice neither hastens nor postpones dying. Sometimes patients live longer on hospice because pain is managed and symptoms are controlled.

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39

Give Your Mom, Sister, Best Friend or Yourself the Gift that Lasts a Year!

Special Offer 12 Issues for $30

Vintage & Shabby Chic Home Décor

Name Email Phone Number Address City

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Zip

Send check or money order to Sasee Distribution PO Box 1389, Murrells Inlet, SC 29576

The Oasis Shopping Center 2520 Hwy. 17 Business • Garden City • 843-333-0136

80’s Night Ladies 80’s AT PALMETTO ACE HOME CENTER

VIP TICKETS INCLUDE: Thursday November 14th

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Dress in 80’s attire or bring an unwrapped toy for Toys for Tots and receive 2 free raffle tickets

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GOLD LEVEL $50 - SILVER LEVEL $25

8317 S. Ocean Hwy, Pawleys Island, SC 29585 / 843-235-3555

Festival of Trees, “Coming Home” benefiting Tidelands Community Hospice patients and families.

Thursday, December 5th through Saturday, December 7th 11am - 4pm each day, at the Litchfield Exchange on Hwy 17 in Pawleys Island Festival of Trees of Yore...1991 - 2008 What began on December 6, 1991, at the Bobby Alford Recreational Center as a single fundraising event became Tidelands Community Hospice’s signature fundraiser. Starting with 17 beautifully decorated trees, wreaths, events and activities at the “Rec Center” to Tara Ballroom then to the Litchfield Exchange, each year the Festival of Trees grew.

For 18 years this event ushered in the holiday season and became a beautiful, community-wide event for all ages – and now this well-loved holiday event is back!

“Coming Home,” the 2019 Festival of Trees, will usher in the holiday season at the Litchfield Exchange, featuring past Festival traditions, some with a twist, activities to be enjoyed by all ages, and beautifully decorated trees, wreaths and other holiday items.

For more information, contact Barriedel at 843-520-9965.

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42

Join us in the Gazebo Full menu, drinks, and live music!

Take a walk on the quiet side Murrells Inlet South Marsh

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Open Tues-Sun at 4pm Enjoy live bands In The Gazebo Wed - Sat!

843-357-9175 • Open Tuesday - Sunday at 4pm 4911 U.S. 17 Business, Murrells Inlet www.hotfishclub.com

Wherever our patients call home, we can provide hospice care.

Home is the most comfortable place of all, and the place to provide hospice care. The house you’ve lived in for decades, or an independent, skilled nursing or assisted living facility. Any patient, family member or friend can contact us anytime, 24/7.

866.901.9297 heartlandhospice.com/MyrtleBeach ©2019 HCR Healthcare, LLC

43

Glittering Nights Gift Guide Sasee’s December 2019 Glittering Nights Gift Guide will celebrate all things shiny and glittery!

Glittery Party Dresses E Sparkling Shoes Dazzling Jewelry E Shining Gifts E Shimmering Home Décor Glistening Decorations E Gleaming Accessories

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44

Vitamin Cocktail & B12 Injections (energy, stamina, burns fat) Before

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ThisA Little and That 4 You Something for Everyone Women & Mens Apparel & Home Decor!

Bring in This Ad & Get 10% Off your purchase

thru November 30

V. Lee Moore • Sarah A. Johnson • Elizabeth J. Saraniti Angela D. Harrison • Nancy M. Zovnic

Hammock Shops Village, Pawleys Island • 843-314-0816 • this_that_gifts@yahoo.com Mon-Sat 10am-6pm • Sun 12:30pm-5pm

1271 Glenns Bay Road, Surfside Beach, SC 29575 (843) 650-9757 • GrandStrandLawyers.com

45

Large Selection of Furniture in Stock!

Stuckey Brothers FURNITURE COMPANY

Living Room • Dining Room • Bedroom • Home Office Entertainment • Accent • Accessories • Mattresses 3785 Hemingway Hwy, Stuckey, SC 29554 • (843) 558-2591

Located 4 miles west of Hemingway on Hwy 261

FREE DELIVERY TO THE MYRTLE BEACH MARKET

www.stuckeyfurniture.com

11378 Ocean Hwy. Pawleys Island (Across From The Fresh Market) 843-314-3316 www.rescuedtreasuressc.org

46

Store Hours: Tue-Sat 10-4

Picture Perfect Outfits

800 Front Street Georgetown, SC 29440 Mon-Fri 10:00-5:30 • Sat 10:00-5:00

PRINCESS FLOWER COLLECTION

843-546-6858 • www.doodlebugschild.com

11096 Ocean Highway | Pawleys Island, SC | (843) 237-8080

47

November 2019 9 Murrells Inlet Oyster Roast 11:30am - 3pm, Wicked Tuna, Murrells Inlet.

For more info, call 843-651-9987 or visit www.murrellsinletsc.com.

23 - 12/30 The Great Christmas Light Show $15 per vehicle, 5:30 - 9:30pm, closed Christmas Day, NMB Park & Sports Complex. For more info, call 843-280-5570 or visit www.explorenorthmyrtlebeach.com.

9 - 10 Art in the Park 10am - 4pm, Valor Park, Market Common.

For more info, call 843 446-3830 or visit www.artsyparksy.com.

12/5-8, 12-15, 19-21 Nights of a Thousand Candles Brookgreen Gardens, 3 - 10pm. For more info, call 888-718-4253 or visit www.brookgreen.org.

14 - 17 38th Annual Dickens Christmas Show Myrtle Beach Convention Center, Thurs. 9am - 6pm, Fri. & Sat. 9am - 8pm, Sun. noon - 6pm.

For more info, visit www.dickenschristmasshow.com or call 800-261-5991.

16 Miss Ruby’s Kids Kitchen Tour 10:30am - 5:30pm, tour kitchens in Historic Georgetown and Pawleys Island area. For more info, visit www.missrubyskids.net.

18 - 12/31 Kaminksi House Designer Holiday Showcase A 250th Celebration! Tours are Mon. - Sat., 11am, 1pm and 3pm, through Tuesday, 12/31. For more info, call 843-546-7706 or visit www.kaminskimuseum.org.

23 MB Direct Sellers Christmas Bazaar & Craft Show open to the public, 9am - 5pm. Riverwalk Inn & Suites, 101 Fantasy Harbor Blvd., Myrtle Beach, free.

Shop for Christmas and win door prizes!

For more info, call 843-903-0924.

12/6 The Charlestones Sing Christmas 7:30pm, Winyah Auditorium, $15 at www.winyahauditorium.org or $20 at the door.

For more info, call 843-461-1342 or visit the website.

12/6 26 Annual Christmas Candlelight Home Tour 4 - 8pm, North Myrtle Beach, Advance tickets $25, $30 at the door, presented by NMB Women’s Club.

For more info, call 734-751-3743, or visit www.northmyrtlebeachwomansclub.com. th

12/7 Annual Atalaya Holiday Celebration 11am - 4pm, Huntington Beach State Park, Holiday decorations, vendors, entertainment and food!

For more info, call 843-237-4440.

Advertiser Index

50

Angelo’s Steak & Pasta.....................................................................................27 Applewood House of Pancakes........................................................................10 The B. Graham Interiors Collection................................................................10 Barbara’s Fine Gifts..........................................................................................12 Bethea Retirement Community.......................................................................20 Bloomingails...................................................................................................27 Brewin Creations.............................................................................................46 Brightwater.....................................................................................................49 Brookgreen Gardens........................................................................................20 Carolina Car Care...........................................................................................31 Carolina Center for Advanced Dentistry.........................................................11 The Citizens Bank...........................................................................................27 The Clean Up Club.........................................................................................36 Clemmons Law Firm.......................................................................................52 Comfort Keepers.............................................................................................10 Doodlebugs.....................................................................................................47 Dr. Grabeman.................................................................................................12 Dr. Sattele’s Rapid Weight Loss & Esthetic Centers.........................................17 Eleanor Pitts....................................................................................................47 Flamingo Bay..................................................................................................39 Genesis Cosmetic Laser Center.......................................................................25 Good Deed Goods..........................................................................................29 Grady’s Jewelers...............................................................................................20 Grand Strand Rehab & Nursing Center..........................................................29 Hanser House.................................................................................................33 Health Care Partners of SC.............................................................................13 Heartland Hospice..........................................................................................43 Hospice Care of SC.........................................................................................39 Hot Fish Club.................................................................................................43

House Parts.....................................................................................................36 Inlet Provision Company.................................................................................43 Kaminski House..............................................................................................42 The Lakes at Litchfield......................................................................................7 Lynda Thomas Independent Insurance Agent..................................................33 Long Bay Symphony.......................................................................................10 Marion Chamber of Commerce......................................................................35 Monkee’s of Myrtle Beach...............................................................................42 Moore, Johnson & Saraniti Law Firm P.A.......................................................45 North Myrtle Beach Woman’s Club................................................................45 Nye’s Pharmacy...............................................................................................33 Outdoor Heating Solutions.............................................................................51 Palmetto Ace...................................................................................................40 The Palmettos Assisted Living & Memory Care...............................................12 Papa John’s Pizza.............................................................................................36 Physicians Weight Loss....................................................................................44 Portside at Grande Dunes..................................................................................2 Prodigy Kitchens & Baths...............................................................................47 PruittHealth Skilled Nursing, Home Health & Hospice Care...........................9 Rescued Treasures............................................................................................46 Rothrock Collection..........................................................................................3 Shades and Draperies......................................................................................15 A Silver Shack.................................................................................................39 Stuckey Brothers Furniture..............................................................................46 This and That 4 You........................................................................................45 Thrive at Prince Creek.....................................................................................36 Two Sisters with Southern Charm...................................................................40 WEZV............................................................................................................50 Women in Philanthropy..................................................................................21

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