Top Ten Tips for Parents

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S P I T P O T P O T

S T N E R A P R O F

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S R O T A EDUC

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1. Talk to your child

Talk to your child frequently about attending Prep. Talk about different aspects, being careful not to place too much emphasis on the academic expectations.

2. Talk to the school about their expectations for students starting in Prep

For example: writing, counting and identifying shapes, colours

3. Visit the new school before the new year

• attend functions through the year such as open days, orientation days, parent information nights etc • when you are there, point out important areas to your child, eg toilets, playground, eating areas, tuckshop • try to meet the teacher and teacher assistants (be aware teachers may change year levels from one year to the next).

4. Knowing the new school

• refer to the school as the child’s new school • find out about the structure of the school day (morning tea, lunch), playtime area, and drive past the school whenever you can and point it out and refer to the new school

5. Eating at school

• if the child is not used to eating from lunch boxes, practise opening the lunchbox and unwrapping food. Both these activities require refined fine motor skills.

• offer variety in the lunch boxes to ensure your child eats. This will help with their emotional wellbeing too.

• talk about the process for tuckshop • include plenty of water – first term in Queensland is very hot.

6. Uniform

• find out if your child will need to change during school eg. swimming, sport • practise changing, especially clothes with buttons • for school or sports shoes – practise tying laces. At the beginning of the year, velcro sports shoes are handy, but encourage laces later in the year to develop the skill.

7. Helping your child recognise their name

for starting primary school

• encourage your child to recognise names, especially his or her own • look at the letters • model writing the word at home • have the child’s name up around the home • check expectation with regards to writing the name • label school bag with photo tag • cover schoolbooks with the same design paper (go for something unusual) so your child will recognise his/her book by the cover immediately • use computer generated name labels so your child recognises the ‘sameness’ of his or her name.

8. Pencil case and school bag

Practise using the new school bag and if your child is required to have his/her own pencil case, practise using it. A lot of planning and organisation is required to hold the case, find equipment, make decisions, take it out and close the bag.

9. Read stories to your child about starting school

This not only prepares the child for learning to read, but it also gives you the option of choosing books that deal with the topic of starting school, such as: • Don’t Want to Go To School by Christine Harris • Grandma McGrarvey Goes To School by Jenny Hessell

10. First day • • • •

talk to your child beforehand about the procedure for the first day if you feel your child is going to be upset, arrive as close to starting time as possible talk to your child in the classroom and leave him/her with the teacher don’t be upset if there are a few tears – this is quite natural. Children settle down quickly when their parents leave and they become involved in the activities in the classroom.

• ensure that your child knows exactly where you are going to meet him/her or his/her going home arrangements.

2 P TI A good start in a new school can affect your daughter’s attitude, self-confidence and performance both academically and socially. The degree of adjustment depends on the individual. These tips can help ease the transition and promote a successful commencement.

1. Normalise the situation

Your daughter may be anxious about making the transition to her new school or she may experience difficulties settling in once she starts. Reassure her that it’s normal to have mixed feelings about starting at a new school.

2. Highlight your child’s responsibility

Remind them that their job at the beginning of the school year is to focus on being a successful student and a caring friend. Be positive, enthusiastic and smile!

Your daughter is more likely to look forward to starting secondary school if you too are optimistic.

3. Attend orientation events

The orientation events are intended to be a fun and informative days for students.

Students meet their form teachers, classroom teachers and get to know girls in their year level and tour the school.

4. Know the school routine

Being familiar with timetables, scheduled lunch breaks and start and finish times will help your daughter to know what to expect from her school day.

5. Be organised ahead of time

for parents to help transition their child into a new secondary school

Involve your daughter in purchasing her books and uniforms well in advance of her start date, so she feels reassured that she is organised.

6. Travelling to and from school

If she is walking or catching public transport, go with your daughter or arrange someone else to accompany her until she is confident travelling on her own to and from school.

7. Get to know the key staff

Staff welcome open lines of communication with parents. Your first point of call (at St Margaret’s) would be with your daughter’s Head of Year. Introduce yourself to staff and make yourself well known.

8. Encourage your daughter to have a buddy

At St Margaret’s, your daughter will be assigned a buddy, where an older student at the school supports and assists her. You too may like to organise a buddy who also attends the school, and lives close.

9. Join an extra-curricular activity

Your daughter will benefit most from joining one or two school activities. This will reinforce her social circle and her connection with the school.

10. Clear expectations

Be clear about who your daughter should contact and what you expect them to do in a variety of situations. Issues such as school policies and procedures while at school, crossing major roads, and catching public transport if you are unable to arrange a lift for them should be discussed prior to commencement.

3 P TI 1. Spend time with your child looking over written information sent from the boarding house.

2. Make every effort to form a positive relationship with the boarding staff caring for your child to ensure the lines of communication remain open.

3. Develop a leave plan with your child prior to the beginning of each term, detailing when you will visit or take your child out on leave.

for transitioning to boarding

4. Develop a set of agreements regarding communication with your child, including the use of mobile phones, and share this agreement with the boarding staff.

5. Teach your child to make their bed every morning and tidy their room. This will ensure they are into a routine before attending boarding school.

6. Encourage your child to pack their school bags the night before

and to be responsible for any other sporting/musical equipment needed the next day.

7. Encourage your child to be responsible for their own laundry, putting away clean clothes and taking dirty clothes to the laundry.

8. Prepare your child for prep (study). Initially his is one hour

for Year 7 boarders at St Margaret’s. Encouraging your child to read or do extra homework for an hour each night will prepare them for prep.

9. Personal hygiene can be one of the issues that young girls struggle with in boarding so don’t take this for granted. Speak to your child about showering once or twice a day, using deodorant, changing underwear, and not wearing the same uniform for more than two days.

10. Physical changes may occur while your child is at boarding. Speak to your child about what to expect.

4 P TI Learning well requires the appropriate environment, attitude and behaviours. The following ten tips will assist you to create the right conditions for high quality learning.

1. Know you can learn – believe it because it’s true

Learning begins with the understanding that it is possible.

2. Be curious – ask questions

Be interested in what is happening around you. Use your mind and think beyond what is your direct experience.

3. Be prepared to struggle – learning is often difficult

Effective learners understand that learning is not easy and involves getting things wrong, frustration and difficulty.

4. Use your failures – they are your most powerful teachers

for good learning

When you do not succeed you are given an opportunity for growth and progress. Think about what you might do differently to achieve a better outcome.

5. Talk to your teacher regularly

Use your teachers for guidance by asking them specific questions about the best way for you to make progress.

6. Reflect on the feedback you’re given – use it

Think about what your teachers say. Process the information and make a plan for your future learning. Learning can only happen in your head.

7. Accept challenges – they are the fuel for good learning

Learning can only happen when you engage in an activity that is unfamiliar or difficult or new. Push yourself and do not be scared of difficulty.

8. Persevere when things get tough

Good learning requires grit. You must keep going for longer than a week, longer than a month, even longer than a year to make real progress.

9. Follow a schedule

Making a plan helps you to feel in control of what you need to do. Always make sure you leave time for rest and recreation. Change your plan regularly – this will help you to stick to it.

10. Read, read, read

Reading helps you to deepen your understanding of almost any topic. Read information from different sources and make sure you ask yourself about the reliability of what you are reading.

5 P TI We live in a technological world and technology is a wonderful thing that should not be feared. Simple safety tips can help ensure that you and your child get the most when using such devices.

1. Ensure that parental control tools are in place. No tool can be 100%

effective but they are a very good start to encourage communication with your child about what is appropriate. Check out recent reviews on technology review sites for the current best controls.

2. Sit with your child to create an online identity together. Guide them in the safest username and password possible.

for helping your child stay safe online

3. Check the privacy settings for any online site or game that your child may use. Ensure that the privacy setting is the highest possible one.

4. Check the age limit for any online social media website and ensure that privacy settings are set to that limit.

5. Explain the reasoning to your child behind not sending embarrassing photos of themselves to friends. The implications for this can be long lasting.

6. Train your child to be web wise – not everything on the web is true.

7. Surf the net with your child and take the cyber safety journey together. Not every pop-up screen or online form is safe.

8. Educate your child to only post basic information online – information that cannot be used to trace them or be used against them.

9. Encourage your child to use the internet wisely and to take responsibility for being a good online citizen. If they would not say something to a person’s face, then they should not post it online.

10. Most schools have acceptable usage agreement between students and

the school for the safe use of technology. Plan to introduce a family agreement at home along similar lines so everyone in the family is aware of their digital obligations.

6 P TI Good parenting helps foster children who are resilient, kind, confident contributors to society. In no particular order:

1. Listen: children need to know that they are being heard. This does not mean that

you have to come up with solutions, or take on board all their suggestions – it is often enough to know that you are a sounding board for them.

2. Spend time together as a family: this allows for the family to share quality

experiences. It is a good idea to have meals together as often as possible, away from TV and other electronic devices. This is when the family can share their daily activities, discuss how they are all feeling or talk about what is going on in the extended family, local community or the world at large.

3. Promote independence: this requires boundaries for both you and your child.

They need to know what levels of risk taking are acceptable. You need to be able to let them deal with situations at school and in their social lives without becoming involved too early in the process.

4. Allow failure: it is very important for children to know that failure is okay,

particularly if it is used as a basis for learning. Many children become anxious if they believe that only the highest marks and peak performance on the sports field or on the stage are acceptable.

for good parenting

5. Be the support in the background: it is important for your child to know that you are always there supporting them. This does not mean that you need to rush in to fight their battles or to cover them when they have done something wrong, rather that you will help them to understand the situation and deal with the consequences.

6. Encourage: at times things may feel too hard for your child, this is when parental

encouragement is very important. It may seem at times that it is falling on deaf ears, but do it anyway. They will remember.

7. Compliment honestly and sincerely: your child needs to know that when you say something it is true; telling them how pretty, clever, or talented they are eventually becomes meaningless. Rather, comment on their excellent effort in a match, dedication to a task or thoughtful gesture to a classmate.

8. Have a special day together: taking time out to do something special with

each child individually gives you both the opportunity to give and receive undivided attention from each other. Conversation can be uninterrupted and personal. Once a holiday, spending a day with each child individually is time very well spent.

9. Choose your battles: there are some things that are just not worth fighting over.

Sometimes it is worth allowing a room to be messy, if you need to concentrate on other issues. Too many battles dilute quality time together. This does not mean you should lower your expectations.

10. Love unconditionally: there is no such thing as too much love, just don’t confuse it with leniency and overprotectiveness.

7 P TI Your child comes home from school upset about a perceived injustice. How should you respond?

Schools, by their very nature, are group environments, where individual needs may, at times, need to be subordinate to the needs of the majority and the group. There are many benefits associated with belonging to the group, but sometimes your child’s needs may not be able to be fully met. What should you do if it is your child who is disappointed? These tips will help to preserve the very important partnership that exists between parents and their child’s school.

1. Ask your child to explain fully the details of the incident and/or conversation which has upset them. Ask for facts, not just an emotive response.

2. Ask your child if he/she has left anything out. For example, you could

ask what would his/her teachers say about this particular episode? What are the perspectives of the other people involved in this incident? These sorts of questions help students acknowledge that other perspectives may exist.

3. Ask your child if he/she would like you to contact the school. Indicate that if you were to contact the school, you will need to be assured that the teacher’s report of the incident will not differ from the report you have been given from your child. In other words, you do not wish to be embarrassed by only having part of the story when you approach the school.

4. If you decide to contact the school, do not insist that your contact remains confidential and be kept from your child. This will only hinder any investigation the school will undertake and can only lead to an unsatisfactory outcome.

for parents when dealing with your child’s disappointment

5. In the first instance, contact the school’s contact for pastoral or academic matters. Do not go straight to the Principal, as this only serves to

alienate the staff who could deal with the issue. In a modern school, the Principal will contact the relevant staff member anyway.

6. Avoid emotional responses or reports on the issue to the school staff. It is best to ask questions rather than describe emotively or accuse, or worse, make personal attacks on staff.

7. Work with the staff member on a way forward. A mistake or injustice may or may not have occurred; nevertheless, in order to move on, it is important to model working with the other authority figures in your child’s lives – his/her teachers.

8. Help your child move forward by encouraging the use of relevant strategies. Also, seek the support of the appropriate staff members. This

encouragement of resilient behaviour has great value for helping your child cope with disappointment in life.

9. Once the child has moved on, so must the parent. Let the past remain in the past and not influence future interactions with school staff.

10. Do use every disappointment, no matter how small, as a lesson for your children in developing resilience, a broader perspective and empathy for others. These attributes are important for success in life and good parenting helps develop them.

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1. There. They’re. Their.

Look at that dog over there! (place) Those dogs are having a great game together. They’re so happy! (They are) Max is their dog. (ownership)

2. Should’ve. Could’ve. Would’ve. Must’ve.

It may sound like the word “of” but these are all contractions: Should have. Could have.

Would have. Must have. For example: I should have fed the dog before we went out. I could have used his blue bowl. He must have been hungry!

3. Know your rules for plurals.

1 dog. 2 dogs.

1 puppy. 2 puppies.

There is never an apostrophe when more than 1.

4. Apostrophes.

1 dog has 1 bowl. That is the dog’s bowl.

2 dogs have 2 bowls. They are the dogs’ bowls.

The apostrophe of possession goes after the number of objects/people who are doing the owning; single object’s ownership or plural?

Let’s combine the last 2 tips: 1 lady owns a hat. It is the lady’s hat.

3 ladies each own hats. They are the ladies’ hats.

5. Your. You’re.

Your dog is so friendly! (possessive) You’re lucky to have such a friendly dog! (contraction of “You are”)

6. Commas can be necessary to add extra information to a sentence.

The old English sheepdog, who was a familiar sight around the suburb, was looking guilty as his owners arrived. (The commas here are used to call attention to information that does not alter the meaning of the sentence).

7. Commas may be used to assist with introducing opening words or phrases in a sentence.

Therefore, it is important to realise that the person who made the mess is also responsible for cleaning up.

Even though he knew that he ought to take Bouncer for a long walk, he was feeling rather lethargic.

for grammar

8. Sentences. Sometimes the simple reminders are the best.

One clear idea per sentence.

Read and re-read your work to ensure you have completed sentences with full stops and begun new ones when necessary.

Avoid run-on sentences.

Eg. There was simply too much that the student wanted to say in the essay on plate tectonics that there was no space left to write it all out in her workbook and include appropriate referencing she was becoming agitated because she wanted a good result.

Correct: There was simply too much that the student wanted to say in the essay on plate tectonics. There was no space left to write it all out in her workbook and include appropriate referencing. She was becoming agitated because she wanted a good result.

9. Than. Then.

I would rather be climbing a tree than cleaning my bedroom! (a comparison) When my chores are completed then I can take a break. (timing)

10. Its. It’s.

It’s raining outside. (This is a contraction and means “It is”) The dog is gnawing on its bone. (Its is a pronoun and despite being possessive, there is no apostrophe).

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As much as we try to avoid it, conflicts can occur between individuals. Therefore it is important to assist children to manage conflict in an effective manner and help them to grow caring relationships with their peers based on compassion and respect. This will help them improve their social experiences both at school and beyond. Being able to deal with conflict and understanding effective strategies when faced with difficult situations develop through age and experience; use these tips to help them develop these strategies as they grow and mature.

Tips to help your child resolve conflicts with their peers and make lasting friendships 1. Help your child to understand the way in which they speak to their peers when conflict arises will have an impact on the resolution of the issue. Explain that they should always speak nicely to the other individual involved and stay calm.

Phrases such as, ‘Can we talk about this and try to work together to find a solution to this problem?’ will help move the conversation towards an amicable solution.

2. Role-play friendship scenarios with your child. This practice will assist

your child to feel more comfortable when faced with similar situations in real life. They will be able to implement the skills you have modelled. If you are faced with a situation when conflict occurs in your own life, always model the behaviour you are promoting with your child.

3. Encourage play-dates for your child. The social aspects of these occasions enable your child to develop solid friendships away from the school environment.

4. Teach your child to try to keep control of their emotions when conflicts arise. Of course, this can be very difficult and all individuals have the right to feel angry and frustrated at times; however, resorting to physical violence and nasty verbal onslaughts is never acceptable. Help your child to learn simple strategies for breathing and counting to ten.

5. Promote the concept of fairness and sharing with your child.

for managing conflict in friendships

It is important for children to feel safe and supported in all situations. Encourage them to treat others as they would want to be treated themselves. By doing so, your child will have a greater sense of empathy when faced with a difficult situation. This will help them to find a resolution that benefits all parties.

6. Always listen to your child when they are facing emotional distress caused by a friendship issue at school. Always be open with them and find time to talk about their life at school. This promotion of positive conversations will benefit during times of difficulty as your child will know that his/her parents are people in whom he/ she can confide and receive positive advice from.

7. Don’t criticise or judge your child when you are talking through situations that have arisen. They need you to be supportive and provide guidance on how to move forward.

8. Do not confront the other individual involved in the conflict. You need to guide your child as to how they manage the situation. You have to let your child learn the strategies for resolving conflicts. Getting involved and fighting their battles does not provide the life lessons your child requires.

9. Monitor technology use. Have the home computer in a public place around

your home. Of course technology can build social networks and friends, but we should be aware of the problems that can arise in the cyber world. By monitoring your child’s use of technology in a non-intrusive manner, you can help your child to make positive decisions when socialising online.

10. Encourage your child to participate in activities before and after school and on weekends. By finding common interests with other individuals, positive friendships can blossom

0 1 P I T

St Margaret’s College is a unique tertiary residential college for young women studying in Brisbane. The college is operated by St Margaret’s Anglican Girls School and located adjacent to the school grounds in Ascot. We called upon the wisdom of College Director Dr Kylie Armstrong to provide the following top ten tips to successfully transition from school to university life.

1. Adjusting to the new environment – build social networks

Get involved! Attend O-Week orientation activities, investigate clubs and societies, join a sports team and introduce yourself to your classmates.

2. Manage risky behaviour – drink responsibly

The first few weeks of university life are exciting; however, excessive alcohol intake can impair your judgement and be harmful to your health. If you are of legal drinking age, make sensible choices, drink in moderation and always have a friend with you when attending events. If you are not 18, don’t drink!

3. Take advantage of your university support services

Your university will have numerous support services to help you transition to tertiary life and study. Take advantage of academic skills workshops, wellbeing programs and counselling services.

4. It requires plenty of independent study

In order to survive and thrive when you start university, take responsibility for your actions by following course outlines, keep up with readings, look over notes and research information for assessment tasks.

5. Know your limits

If you’re struggling to stay on top of your studies, consider cutting back on work commitments or occasionally saying no to a social outing. Likewise, it’s also important to identify when you need a break.

6. Avoid procrastination – make a plan so you are in control

for adjusting to university life (to pass onto your daughter when she graduates from secondary school)

It’s important to stay organised throughout the semester, but it is extremely important around assessment time. Your best option is to sit down and plan out the semester ahead and make note of when everything is due, along with other commitments such as work.

7. First year can be frustrating

Most first year courses are made up of introductory courses and general core content, which you may, at times, find frustrating and boring. Just remember, these classes are designed to provide you with the skills and knowledge you’ll need for further study, where you’ll get the chance to explore more specific areas of interest and apply your skills in practical situations.

8. Stress Management – build your skills and coping strategies

Keep your head above water by developing a repertoire of skills to maintain your ability to cope with your daily challenges. Also balance your studies with other activities: listen to music, keep active, eat healthily, sleep well, follow your passions and keep up hobbies.

9. Reach out if you need help – you are not alone

Social support is a key enabler in easing the transition and adjustment to your new personal, social and academic life. Reach out for help early if you are feeling isolated, emotionally unstable or are having trouble adjusting to new routines. It is common to experience turmoil in adjusting to your new life, particularly if you are living away from home for the first time!

10. Look after yourself

Making time for friends, family, study and work is important, but you should also make sure you still have time to look after yourself. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle will help alleviate stress and stop you from burning out as the semester progresses.

If you would like to know more about a St Margaret’s education for your daughter (Pre-Prep to Year 12) or son (Pre-Prep and Prep), please contact our admissions team: Tel: +61 7 3862 0777 Email: admissions@stmargarets.qld.edu.au

St Margaret’s Anglican Girls School 11 Petrie Street Ascot QLD 4007 Australia Telephone: +61 7 3862 0777 Facsimile: +61 7 3862 0701 mail@stmargarets.qld.edu.au www.stmargarets.qld.edu.au St Margaret’s School Council Ltd ABN: 69069684019 CRICOS Code: 00511K A School of the Society of the Sacred Advent