Evening of Remembrance Spring 2021

Evening of Remembrance

Seasons of Love and Loss Spring 2021

Welcome We hope the following selection of poems and readings give you comfort and peace.

'My friend just died, I don't know what to do...' Anonymous Surviving in the Sea of Grief

by G Snow (an extract)

As for grief, you’ll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you’re drowning, with wreckage all around you.

Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float.

You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it’s some physical thing. Maybe it’s a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it’s a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.

In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don’t even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you’ll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what’s going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a place, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything…and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.

Somewhere down the line, and it’s different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or a family occasion, You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you’ll come out.

Take it from one who knows the waves never stop coming, and somehow you don’t really want them to. But you learn that you’ll survive them. And other waves will come. And you’ll survive them too.

Time Does Not Bring Relief Edna St. Vincent Milay Time does not bring relief; you all have lied Who told me time would ease me of my pain!

I miss them in the weeping of the rain; I want them at the shrinking of the tide; The old snows melt from every mountain-side, And last year's leaves are smoke in every lane; But last year's bitter loving must remain Heaped on my heart, and my old thoughts abide.

There are a hundred places where I fear To go - so with memory they brim.

And entering with relief some quiet place Where never fell their foot or shone their face I say, 'There is no memory of them here!'

And so stand stricken, so remembering them.

I Will (Unknown) As long as I can, I will look at this world for the both of us.

As long as I can, I will sing with the birds, I will laugh with the flowers, I will pray to the stars for both of us.

Remembering...

'The Blessing' - a song of hope sung by Elizabeth and Andy Summers May every step that you take find a place that is strong and safe.

May every hill you climb fall away; may every dark night find a new day.

May every sight that you see give you a glimpse of the joys that will be.

May you believe that whatever you need, you’ll find your way.

When loss and fear fall like rain, may love and warmth find the rainbow again.

May every tear and sigh disappear; may there be music in all that you hear.

May there be hands you can hold; may there be hope as your journey unfolds.

May you receive all the strength that you need to walk your way.

Written by Helen Summers

Look for Me in Rainbows Vicki Brown Time for me to go now, I won't say goodbye; Look for me in rainbows, way up in the sky.

In the morning sunrise when all the world is new, Just look for me and love me, as you know I loved you.

Time for me to leave you, I won't say goodbye; Look for me in rainbows, high up in the sky.

In the evening sunset, when all the world is through, Just look for me and love me, and I'll be close to you.

It won't be forever, the day will come and then My loving arms will hold you, when we meet again.

Time for us to part now, we won't say goodbye; Look for me in rainbows, shining in the sky.

Every waking moment, and all your whole life through Just look for me and love me, as you know I loved you.

Just wish me to be near you, And I'll be there with you.

Celtic Blessing Deep peace of the running wave to you.

Deep peace of the flowing air to you.

Deep peace of the quiet earth to you.

Deep peace of the shining stars to you.

Deep peace of the infinite peace to you.

Service of Remembrance Welcome and opening prayer The St Luke’s Hospice Spiritual Care and Chaplaincy Team work to bring comfort, love and understanding to people of all faiths and none, whom we encounter as patients, relatives, staff and volunteers. We offer our welcome to all people of whatever background through this short online service of remembrance.

We begin with a short prayer...

Creator God, we look forward with hope that spring will come, but we also face the daily reality that life is hard as we remember and mourn those we have lost. Hold us in your love and grant us your peace. Help us to see that hope, love and peace within each of us and within those we meet, those we care for, those who care for us. Help us to see the beauty of the world around us, to hear the signs of hope in our lives, to feel the comfort of your presence, through the power of the Holy Spirit, our Comforter and Helper. Amen.

Readings Psalm 8: David expresses a sense of wonder at Creation Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! You have set your glory in the heavens. Through the praise of children and infants you have established a stronghold against your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger. When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them?

You have made them a little lower than the angels and crowned them with glory and honour. You made them rulers over the works of your hands; you put everything under their feet: all flocks and herds, and the animals of the wild, the birds in the sky, and the fish in the sea, all that swim the paths of the seas.

Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!

Isaiah 42:1-6: The prophet Isaiah declares the creator God’s promise to all people “Here is my servant, whom I uphold, my chosen one in whom I delight; I will put my Spirit on him, and he will bring justice to the nations. He will not shout or cry out, or raise his voice in the streets. A bruised reed he will not break, and a smouldering wick he will not snuff out. In faithfulness he will bring forth justice; he will not falter or be discouraged till he establishes justice on earth. In his teaching the islands will put their hope.”

This is what God the Lord says — the Creator of the heavens, who stretches them out, who spreads out the earth with all that springs from it, who gives breath to its people, and life to those who walk on it: “I, the Lord, have called you in righteousness; I will take hold of your hand. I will keep you and will make you to be a covenant for the people and a light for the Gentiles.”

Mark 4: 26-32: The Parables of the Growing Seed and the Mustard Seed Jesus said, “This is what the kingdom of God is like. A man scatters seed on the ground. Night and day, whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows, though he does not know how. All by itself the soil produces grain — first the stalk, then the head, then the full kernel in the head. As soon as the grain is ripe, he puts the sickle to it, because the harvest has come.”

Again, he said, “What shall we say the kingdom of God is like, or what parable shall we use to describe it? It is like a mustard seed, which is the smallest of all seeds on earth. Yet when planted, it grows and becomes the largest of all garden plants, with such big branches that the birds can perch in its shade.”

Homily March is a time of year, when we tend to think of spring: of flowers appearing from bulb; of birdsong; of lighter and milder days. Perhaps we can get out into our garden, hear the buzz of the first distant lawnmower on the air or catch the scent of early blossom as we take a walk outside.

But sometimes we are caught out: the weather turns and it feels like winter again. Frost burns the new growth and, if we do venture out, we huddle against the sharpness of the raw wind.

There is hope and promise that things are getting better. But at the same time, there are days, when it feels like we have gone backwards. That has been our collective experience of the Covid pandemic, as we move into and out of lockdown and other restrictions, in the hope that the often unseen work of vaccines, testing, tracing and isolation will get us all closer in time to whatever will be the new normal. And this sense of sometimes moving forward and other days slipping back is also a very common experience of loss and grief.

Like so much about nature, it can be very confusing, especially in the day to day. But if we look on a bigger scale, we may gain hope, trust and confidence. The psalmist David gazes in wonder at the night sky, as so many of us have done. Here in Cheshire we have discovered so much more about the stars and space through the work of Jodrell Bank Radio Telescope.

Worldwide we have recently seen images from the Perseverance rover on Mars. We know there is so much still to learn, yet we can all take comfort from the depth and vastness and familiarity of the night sky. The prophet Isaiah speaks of the creator God as the same God, who is faithful to all people – the reference to a light to the Gentiles (that is, people who are not Jews like Isaiah himself) is a prophecy that a Messiah or saviour, Christ, would come for everyone.

The words of Christ Jesus’ two parables about seeds also bring comfort as he uses two daily miracles of nature to speak about what the kingdom of God is like.

The words of Christ Jesus’ two parables about seeds also bring comfort as he uses two daily miracles of nature to speak about what the kingdom of God is like.

One parable is about the seed, which grows night and day, without the sower having to do anything else. It simply grows.

Botanists and cell biologists could now tell us much more about what is happening, but we know we can simply take a packet of seeds, scatter them and some will grow, so we get flowers or vegetables to enjoy in their season. Good things will come in time, though for now we may simply see bare earth. We don’t have to earn it or strive for it, we simply have to accept it. This tells us what God’s love and promises for us are like.

The other parable is about the mustard seed, a tiny seed, which in the warm, dry Mediterranean climate of Israel and Palestine can grow into a twenty-foot-tall tree, big enough for birds to perch in. A tiny seed contains everything needed for a whole tree. Or if we use mustard in our cooking, again a little goes a long way! For us, in our loss and grief, our sense of hope may be tiny to begin with. It may take a while before we see any growth at all. The conditions seem harsh and unfruitful. Yet in time, the seed, the hope, grows until that hope is big enough to provide support and offer hope to others.

Prayers God, our comforter, we thank you that we can speak to you in prayer, trusting in your promise that you will listen and answer.

A prayer for those who are unwell or approaching the end of life: Creator God, we pray for you to plant seeds of hope, peace and reconciliation in the hearts and minds of all who are unwell and all who are approaching the end of their life at this time, that they might find comfort and love in themselves and those around them, and that they may see a path through life’s garden. In your mercy, we pray. Amen.

A prayer for those who mourn: Lord Jesus, who taught of the seeds and nature, who spent a night of suffering in one garden, but also first appeared in resurrected form in another garden, we pray for your presence to all who mourn at this time, that each one may see that they are held and supported in love, that they can forgive and be forgiven any lingering hurts, that they may begin to see a way forward to walk in life with the memories of those who have died. In your mercy, we pray. Amen.

A prayer for those who care for the sick at home or in their work: Holy Spirit, wind of God, we pray you will breathe compassion and understanding into all who care for the sick - the staff, volunteers, relatives and friends, who care for our patients at St Luke’s Hospice, other places of health and social care and in the home – that each one may see reward for their labours, receive rest and refreshment when weary and see that there is great dignity, honour and worth in their calling. In your mercy, we pray. Amen.

Wherever we are we say together the Lord's Prayer: Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name.

Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as in heaven.

Give us today our daily bread.

And forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us.

Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

For the kingdom, the power and the glory are Yours, now and forever.

Amen.

Closing Blessings: May the raindrops fall lightly on your brow. May the soft winds freshen your spirit. May the sunshine brighten your heart. May the burdens of the day rest lightly upon you. And may God enfold you in the mantle of his love. Amen.

The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace. Amen.

St Luke's Hospice Bereavement Support Tel: 01606 551246 E-mail: vrccg.familysupportandcounsellingteam@nhs.net

The Evening of Remembrance and Service of Remembrance Spring 2021 is produced by the Family Support & Counselling and Spiritual Care and Chaplaincy Teams.

Thanks to you all.

Feedback or suggestions for future Evenings of Remembrance are very welcome.