Thrive - February 2026

THRIVE

WELLBEING EDITORAL FOR THE ST JOHN’S COMMUNITY

THE EMOTIONAL SAFETY ISSUE

When Teen Friendships Look Fine but Don’t Feel Safe‌

Why Teens Hide Mistakes

8 Subtle Signs your Teen

Feels Safe FEB 2026 | ISSUE 06

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February 2026

TABLE OF CONTENTS 04

ON OUR RADAR

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WHEN TEEN FRIENDSHIPS LOOK FINE BUT DON’T FEEL SAFE

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8 SUBTLE SIGNS YOUR TEEN FEELS SAFE

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WHY TEENS HIDE MISTAKES

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BUTTERNUT SQUASH MAC AND CHEESE

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THRIVE PODCAST: GETTING PSYCHOLOGICAL SAFETY RIGHT WITH TEENS

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GROWING TOGETHER ACTIVITY

ISSUE 06

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February 2026

ISSUE 06

WHY THIS ISSUE MATTERS Welcome to the February issue of Thrive! This month, we’re spotlighting psychological safety, an often-overlooked key to happiness, connection, and genuine growth.

Whether you’re a parent, teacher, or friend, understanding psychological safety can transform the way you relate to others and yourself.

So, what is psychological safety? It’s the confidence to speak up, share ideas, ask questions, and even challenge others—without fear of embarrassment or punishment. Imagine a classroom where every hand goes up, a family dinner where all voices are welcome, or a workplace where mistakes lead to creativity. Psychological safety is the soil where trust grows and people thrive.

Within families, psychological safety is transformative. When children know they can make mistakes, voice worries, and share dreams without harsh judgment, they build lifelong confidence and resilience. This sense of acceptance deepens trust, strengthens family bonds, and helps everyone grow and adapt together.

Of course, it’s not always easy, especially with teens who naturally test boundaries. How do you keep communication open while maintaining expectations and accountability? This issue shares practical strategies for building and sustaining psychological safety with teenagers, and finding the right balance between empathy and structure.

Don’t miss this month’s Thrive podcast with Associate Professor Hannah Sherbersky from the University of Exeter. She offers practical insights on what psychological safety looks like in real life—and how you can start building it today. Listen here!

Vanessa Sokal

MENTAL HEALTH LEAD

All content shared is meant solely for educational and entertainment purposes. For personalised advice regarding your child's situation, please reach out directly to the school or consult other professional services .Some content was developed in collaboration with AI tools, reviewed by the author.

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February 2026

ISSUE 06

ON OUR RADAR Children’s Mental Health Week runs from February 9–15, with the theme “This is My Place.” The focus is on creating environments and support systems that help children feel connected and valued. A sense of belonging is vital for positive mental health.

February is a peak month for self-monitoring.

Research indicates that when children’s internal resources are depleted, they must work even harder to manage social impressions, leading to increased cognitive strain.

Valentine’s Day can spike social comparison among young people, heightening awareness of inclusion, visibility, and social status, not just romantic pressures.

BOOK OF THE MONTH

THRIVE PODCAST

This month, we’re focusing on energy and motivation, especially how to help your young people feel more energised and engaged.

Join me as I share 7 practical strategies to boost energy and motivation in young people!

Listen Here!

The Power of Showing Up

by Daniel Siegel & Tina Payne Bryson This isn’t a “how to parent better” book—it offers a relational lens on building emotional security. Siegel and Payne Bryson show children don’t need perfect responses, deep talks, or constant attunement. What matters most is that adults are predictable, emotionally available, and repair when things go wrong.

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During low-energy months, children instinctively gravitate toward sameness and routine,such as repeating meals, maintaining consistent afterschool activities, and following familiar social patterns. This behaviour is a powerful form of self-regulation, not a sign of stagnation.

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February 2026

ISSUE 06

WHEN TEEN FRIENDSHIPS LOOK FINE BUT DON’T FEEL SAFE As a parent, you probably know that popularity isn’t the same as happiness. But when it comes to your teenager, the question of belonging is incredibly complicated and often invisible. Even if your teen isn’t being left out, they might be included in ways that feel conditional or uncertain: They sit with the group.

They’re on the group chat.

They’re invited.

They laugh at the right moments.

From your perspective, your teen may seem happy and part of the group. But inside, they might be constantly second-guessing themselves or feeling anxious.

Understanding the Teenage Social Reality Adolescence is a period of intense social learning.

Teenagers are figuring out: Who they’re allowed to be What gets approval What risks exclusion How quickly things can change Peer culture at this age often rewards blending in and adhering to the non-verbal rules of: don’t be too much, don’t stand out the wrong way, and don’t be honest about how you feel. What’s really interesting is that this isn't necessarily related to confidence. Instead, it’s more closely tied to a sense of emotional safety. Teenagers quickly learn how to be likable, but that doesn’t always mean they feel they truly belong.

Why being liked can still feel unsafe Feeling emotionally safe within a relationship requires a sense that you can: hesitate midsentence, change your mind, have a low day, and disagree without social consequences. The difficulty is that many teenage friendships don’t offer this kind of containing safety. Not because anyone is unkind, but because the group itself can feel fragile. Approval becomes conditional: “I’m okay here as long as I stay within the lines.”

For some teenagers, especially those who are thoughtful or deeply aware of others, this can create a quiet pressure to constantly self-edit. You might sense this uneasiness in your own child, even if you can’t quite name it. Some thoughts parents often have include: "They have friends, but they never really seem settled."

"They seem worn out after hanging out with friends."

"They rarely talk about how they really feel with their friends."

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February 2026

ISSUE 06

Belonging shows up in ordinary moments Real belonging in adolescence rarely looks obvious, like buying friendship lockets or bracelets. The presence of friendship belonging often looks quite boring: being quiet without being questioned saying something awkward and not being teased setting a boundary and staying included having a wobble and not being sidelined If your teenager feels socially safe, they may not look happier, but you might notice they seem less tense and less guarded around you.

The Parenting Tightrope: Watching and Supporting Your Teen This is where parenting gets tricky. You may find yourself watching from the outside, trying not to overreact or interfere, while still worrying about whether your child is truly thriving or just coping well enough to get by.

Instead of scrutinising every friendship, try to notice how your teenager recovers after social interactions. Ask yourself: Do they come home more themselves, or less?

Do friendships leave them neutral or on edge?

Are they allowed to have off-days without social fallout?

By asking these questions, you respect your teen’s independence while still keeping an eye on their emotional safety.

If You’re Concerned: What to Do Next If you notice your teenager seems more on edge after spending time with friends, the most helpful response is rarely to analyse the friendship itself. Most teens don’t want their relationships dissected—they’ll likely shut down if you try. Instead, focus on naming the experience rather than the people: try saying, “You seem tired— how was the get-together?” or “Some friendships just take more energy than others.” These statements offer clarity and help your teen process their feelings, without making them feel like their friends are being judged.

Support your teen in setting boundaries by reminding them it’s perfectly okay to step back or take space without feeling like they’ve failed socially. Focus on the bigger picture, not just moments of crisis: one demanding friendship doesn’t always mean something is wrong, but patterns over time do matter. Try to keep perspective on the overall direction of their friendships: Are they gradually expanding their social connections?

Is there at least one or two relationships where they can truly be themselves? Are they recovering more easily after social events as time goes on?

If you notice ongoing social tension—especially if it’s getting worse or accompanied by withdrawal, anxiety, or low mood—it’s time to seek extra support.

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February 2026

8 SUBTLE SIGNS YOUR TEEN FEELS SAFE THEY DISAGREE WITHOUT ESCALATING

Sturdy relationships allow teens to calmly disagree and tolerate differences while maintaining their connection.

THEY CHANGE THEIR MIND OUT LOUD

Revising a thought process suggests low fear of being judged or corrected.

THEY DON’T RUSH TO EXPLAIN THEMSELVES Pausing and leaving things unsaid can signal trust that they won’t be misunderstood.

THEY SHOW INCONSISTENCY

Safe children can be confident one day and unsure the next without feeling exposed.

THEY ASK “OBVIOUS” QUESTIONS

Asking what they could have worked out alone, shows comfort with not performing competence.

THEY RECOVER QUICKLY AFTER SMALL WOBBLES

A brief wobble followed by repair is often a sign of relational safety.

THEY SET SMALL BOUNDARIES WITHOUT DRAMA

Saying “no”, or opting out, or asking for space relfects confidence that connection will still be there afterwards.

THEY BRINGS THINGS UP LATE, OR INDIRECTLY Sharing at unexpected times often means they trust the response.

ISSUE 06

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February 2026

ISSUE 06

WHY TEENS HIDE MISTAKES

Plus, what helps them grow & learn Most parents hope young people see mistakes as chances to grow. But whether they learn from mistakes depends less on what we say and more on how safe they feel. When young people feel secure, mistakes become information to explore, not fear.

Without that safety, even small errors can feel overwhelming.

Why do mistakes feel risky for some teens?

Studies show young people hide mistakes when they worry it will change how others see them. If being “smart” is praised, mistakes start to feel personal.

Some teens: avoid attempting difficult work ask fewer questions copy or mask uncertainty become distressed over small errors It’s not a lack of resilience; being wrong just feels costly, especially if your teen worries it might change your view of them. That fear is human, but we can help them move past it.

Psychological safety changes what a mistake means Psychological safety isn’t about lowering expectations.

It means showing young people that mistakes don’t define them. When they trust mistakes won’t change how we see them, they’re more willing to try again.

Teens are sensitive to our reactions. When your young person makes a mistake, ask yourself: Is your curiosity stronger or is your correction?

Is the focus on process rather than performance?

Does the relationship remain stable?

Why reassurance alone doesn’t work When your teen makes a mistake, it’s natural to offer comfort—"It’s okay." But research shows young people need to know your support is steady, even when things go wrong. Teens notice less what we say, and more that you’re still there.

What helps in real life You don’t need to micromanage to help your teen feel safe with mistakes. Small changes in how you respond make a difference: Narrate thinking, not outcomes “Let’s look at what this tells us” rather than “What went wrong?”

Delay evaluation Jumping quickly to fixing can signal urgency rather than safety.

Normalise uncertainty before difficulty “This is the kind of thing people usually get stuck on.”

Stay stable A calm response after a mistake often helps more than praise. Patience turns setbacks into growth.

Psychological safety makes mistakes temporary and helpful, not a threat to who they are. When young people trust that being wrong won’t cost them, learning becomes something they can step into, not something to avoid.

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February 2026

ISSUE 06

COMFORTING & SATISFYING Butternut Squash Mac and Cheese SERVES 9

Ingredients 560g peeled and cubed butternut squash 300ml vegetable broth or chicken broth 300ml milk 3 cloves garlic, minced 454g uncooked pasta 70–140g roughly chopped kale, stems discarded (optional) 80g plain Greek yogurt 1 teaspoon salt 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper small pinch ground nutmeg 225g shredded cheese (I like Gruyère) optional topping: 30g breadcrumbs optional topping: fresh thyme leaves and/or extra freshly ground black pepper

COOK & PREP TIME: 1 HOUR & 10 MINUTES

Method Combine squash, broth, milk, and garlic in a saucepan. Bring to a boil, then simmer for 20 minutes until squash is very tender. Set aside.

Preheat oven to 375°F (191°C).

Cook pasta in boiling water until al dente. Add kale (if using) for the last 1-2 minutes. Drain and set aside.

Blend the squash mixture with yogurt, salt, pepper, and nutmeg until smooth. Stir in cheese. Adjust seasoning to taste.

Combine pasta and kale with sauce. Pour into a baking dish.

Top with breadcrumbs and extra cheese if desired.

Cover with foil and bake 20 minutes. Uncover and bake 5 more minutes until bubbly.

Serve with extra cheese, thyme, or black pepper.

Store leftovers in the fridge for up to 5 days.

Recipe Source: www.sallysbakingaddiction.com

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February 2026

THRIVE PODCAST

GETTING PSYCHOLOGICAL SAFETY RIGHT WITH TEENS

This month on the Thrive podcast, University of Exeter, Associate Professor Hannah Sherbersky joins us to explore psychological safety; what it means for teens, why it’s challenging for parents, and how small shifts at home can make a real difference. Hannah shares practical ways to help teens feel calm, open, and comfortable being themselves.

Check out this month’s podcast here!

ISSUE 06

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February 2026

ISSUE 06

GROWING TOGETHER YOUR MONTHLY PARENT/TEEN ACTIVITY Short prompts to help your family enter the year ahead with clarity and calm.

I FEEL MOST LIKE MYSELF WHEN...

THINGS THAT HELP ME SPEAK HONESTLY...

WHEN SOMETHING FEELS HARD, IT HELPS IF ADULTS...

TICK ALL THAT APPLY

CIRCLE YOUR TOP TWO

Not being interrupted.

Listen without fixing.

Knowing I won’t be in trouble.

Don’t rush me.

Being able to change my mind.

Don’t ask too many questions.

Someone staying calm.

Trust me to handle things.

Not having to explain everything.

Time to think before answering.

Give me advice.

Reassure and comfort me.

Ask me directly what I need or what would help.

IT'S HARD FOR ME TO TALK ABOUT...

THIS HELPS ME FEEL BETTER AFTER A TOUGH DAY

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February 2026

ISSUE 06

ROOTED IN RESEARCH FIND ALL THE WORKS CITED IN THIS ISSUE BELOW. Becker, S. P., Dvorsky, M. R., Breaux, R., Cusick, C. N., & Langberg, J. M. (2021). Prospective relations among sleep, chronotype, and mental health across adolescence. Child Development, 92(3), 1–20.

Bergin, C., & Bergin, D. (2022). Social relationships, belonging, and learning in school contexts. Educational Psychology Review, 34(3), 1241–1264. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10648-021-09642-1 Biddle, S. J. H., Ciaccioni, S., Thomas, G., & Vergeer, I. (2019). Physical activity and mental health in children and adolescents: An updated review. Sports Medicine, 49(9), 1251–1265.

Ekkekakis, P., & Brand, R. (2019). Affective responses to exercise: From neural mechanisms to psychological processes. Psychology of Sport and Exercise, 42, 139– 148.

Furrer, C. J., Skinner, E. A., & Pitzer, J. R. (2023). The social context of engagement: Belonging, autonomy support, and children’s participation in learning.

Developmental Psychology, 59(1), 45–60. https://doi.org/10.1037/dev0001454 Galla, B. M., & Duckworth, A. L. (2015). More than resisting temptation: Beneficial habits mediate the relationship between self-control and achievement. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 109(3), 508–525.

Hadar, L. L., & Brody, D. L. (2022). From error avoidance to error exploration: How relational safety shapes learning behaviours. Teaching and Teacher Education, 112, 103636. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.tate.2022.103636 Holroyd, C. B., & Umemoto, A. (2016). The research domain criteria framework: The case for anterior cingulate cortex. Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews, 71, 418–443.

Kiefer, S. M., & Wang, J. H. (2023). Relational safety, emotional expression, and classroom participation. Journal of Educational Psychology, 115(6), 1124–1140. https://doi.org/10.1037/edu0000794 Le Heron, C., Plant, O., Manohar, S., & Husain, M. (2020). Distinct effects of motivation and reward on human cost–benefit decision-making. PLOS Biology, 18(10), e3000855.

Miller, A. L., Gouley, K. K., & Raftery-Helmer, J. N. (2022). Children’s emotional regulation in relationships: Repair, recovery, and relational trust. Emotion, 22(6), 1281–1294. https://doi.org/10.1037/emo0001003 Milyavskaya, M., & Werner, K. M. (2018). Goal pursuit, the self, and self-control: Motivation as a dynamic process. Motivation Science, 4(3), 171–191.

Mueller, S. T., & Stocco, A. (2023). A computational framework for novelty, dopamine, and learning. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 27(4), 321–334.

Randler, C., & Vollmer, C. (2023). Chronotype, sleep timing, and well-being in adolescents: Updated insights. Journal of Sleep Research, 32(1), e13794.

Rosenbaum, S., & Stubbs, B. (2018). Exercise-based interventions for mental illness: A systematic review. Current Sports Medicine Reports, 17(11), 531–539.

Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2023). Psychological needs, motivation, and wellness in developmental context. Annual Review of Psychology, 74, 489–516. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-psych-020821-094933 Walker, M. P. (2018). Why we sleep: Unlocking the power of sleep and dreams. Penguin.

Westbrook, A., van den Bosch, R., Määttä, J. I., Hofmans, L., Papadopetraki, D., Cools, R., & Frank, M. J. (2020). Dopamine promotes cognitive effort by biasing benefits versus costs of cognitive work. Neuron, 109(6), 1–13.

Zhang, L., Wang, M., & Li, J. (2024). Psychological safety and adaptive interpersonal behaviour in children and adolescents. Contemporary Educational Psychology, 76, 102231. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cedpsych.2023.102231

Some content was developed in collaboration with AI tools, reviewed by the author.