Issuu

00 COVER

Illustration by Design Team Member Sadd Sadd

06 FACES & SPACES: STITCH AT HOME

STITCH members highlight their favorite places to spend time in at home

12 ZOOM SHOOT

Fighting video call fatigue with a dose of creativity

18 SEA, SAND, SCENERY

How the connection with nature and landscapes made a writer grounded and at peace during this time

EDITORS-IN-CHIEF Emily Burns + Radhika Rahlan PUBLISHER Daniella Ueki CREATIVE DIRECTOR Maxwell Han PRINT MANAGING EDITOR Giovana Gelhoren DESIGN EDITOR Grace Lougheed DIRECTOR OF PHOTOSHOOTS Annika de Vogel PHOTOGRAPHY EDITOR Sarah Loper DIGITAL MANAGING EDITOR Sierra Turner MULTIMEDIA EDITOR Maddy Daum SOCIAL MEDIA EDITOR Sarah Filby DIRECTOR OF DEVELOPMENT Tiffany Xu

PRINT MANAGING EDITOR Nia Harris DIRECTOR OF PHOTOSHOOTS Miranda Andrade PHOTOGRAPHY EDITOR Sara Gronich DIGITAL MANAGING EDITOR Jude Cramer ASSOCIATE EDITOR Ashley Capoot MULTIMEDIA EDITOR Jay Towns DIRECTOR OF CORPORATE Michelle Godzanker DIRECTOR OF MEMBERSHIP Susan Tran

CORPORATE TEAM Olivia Corderi, Sophie DeBenedetti, Ananya Gupta, Olivia Lee + Ishika Vanwari

43 LAST WORD: I QUARANTINED MY HAIR AWAY An unpredicted, but meaningful farewell to a head of hair

DREAMS IN QUARANTINE

If you've been having wild dreams recently, know that you're not the only one

26 FANCY AT HOME

The styling team gets all dressed up with nowhere to go

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DESIGN TEAM Izzy Chun, Agnes Lee, Bailey Richards, Margeaux Rocco, Sadd Sadd, Quynh-Nhi Tran, Ashley Xu + Meher Yeda EDITORIAL TEAM Tanitoluwa Adedibu, Nikolas Chambers, Amber Cohon, Olivia Evans, Vitoria Faria, Eli Gordon, Vaibhavi Hemasundar, Isabelle Kenagy, Michelle Kim, Lucia Schorr, Joely Simon, Christian Thorsberg + Gia Yetikyel MULTIMEDIA TEAM Lucia Bosacoma, Sharlene Burgos, Maria Caamano, Sophie D’Amato, Libby Markham, Catie Moore, Yola Mzizi, Linda Shi + Maria Valencia PHOTOGRAPHY TEAM Trin Collins, Grace Deng, Maryam Ikuforiji, Wyatt Morris, Jesse Noss + Kendall Wieland SOCIAL MEDIA TEAM Ashley Chin, Sara Frank, McKenna Frey, Kimberly Cruz Mendez, Isabella Moran, Emi Silverstein + Olivia Stone STYLING TEAM Anna Biasco, Sebin Bok, Daisy Brockhouse, Sophia Crum, Amina Elmasry, Sean Malaisrie, Katharina Nachtigall, Nicolas Petry-Mitchel, Shea Randall, Ava White + Mikayla Williams • JUNE 2020

thoughts F R O M

"My sense of style has definitely been influenced by both Blair Waldorf from Gossip Girl and Cher Horowitz from Clueless. I love the way both of them are classic and polished but interesting."

"My movie fashion icon is Willow Rosenberg from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I’d say my style is more of a combination of all the show’s characters’ casual looks, but Willow especially. From funky patterns and graphic tees to effortless layering and monochromatic ‘fits, she is the blueprint."

T H E

E D I TO R S

The past four months have been a time of unprecedented uncertainty and change, an overwhelming experience that none of us were ready for. An experience that feels far from over. However, as this quarter of remote learning comes to a close and Coronavirus feels more and more like a normality than a global pandemic, the members of STITCH take this opportunity to share their quarantine experiences and reflections in this first ever exclusively digital (We think! We aren’t quite sure) issue. With the abrupt ending of winter quarter due to COVID-19, we went into the spring assuming that STITCH would be put on hold. The print issue we had been working on seemed impossible to complete in the current situation. However, about a month into the quarter this felt like the wrong decision. STITCH is a magazine that acts as a platform for creativity and works to amplify the voices of our students. The At-Home issue is no different.

"This might be the most cliché answer, but I’m a huge Friends fan and have looked up to Rachel’s style for as long as I can remember. From her denim overalls to her mint green dress she wore for a wedding, I’ll forever be obsessed with her style."

"Kelly Taylor and Donna Martin (I can’t pick between the two) on 1990s show 90210 — SO ICONIC!"

This quarter, the members of STITCH were able to contribute to the magazine in a way they never had. The At-Home Issue allowed for each member of STITCH to breathe life into this magazine with their raw reflections, designs, and even their faces as models. Online Editor Jude Cramer reflects on changing and unchanging family dynamics while Print Editor Giovana Gelhoren speaks to the experience of quarantining as a couple. Staff Writers Eli Gordon and Lucia Shorr emphasize the reflection of the changing times in their changing style and appearance. The Styling Team displays the importance of adding a pop of color to your Zoom calls while Staff Writer Isabelle Kenagy and the Photography Team take a moment of pause in nature. As EICs, we could not be prouder of the work our members put in for the At-Home Issue. Everyone on STITCH hustled through this incredibly tough time to create something so beautiful and meaningful. We are so excited for you to view this. We hope the At-Home Issue provides you with a chance to press pause on your own life and delve into the lives of STITCH, offering you a moment of respite and the same sense of positivity and creativity that it offered our team.

Emily Burns & Radhika Rahlan • JUNE 2020

Michelle Gozdanker

FAC E S &

" Spending time in my balcony has definitely been my favorite (and arguably my only) quarantine activity! I’ve discovered a new found passion for baking — the balcony is a perfect spot to devour these freshly baked treats. "

Grace Lougheed

" My bed will always be my sanctuary. In quarantine, it’s where I’ve been able to find inspiration and creative solace — usually while flipping through stacks of magazines while my Discover Weekly playlist plays from my computer. "

Ishika Vanwari

Spaces

Ashley Chin

In every STITCH issue, we include a segment called Faces & Spaces, which profiles a Northwestern student and their favorite space. We’ve explored a lot of different spaces: rehearsal rooms, spin studios, bedrooms, and more. For STITCH’s At-Home Issue, we decided not to focus on one specific student. Instead, this issue aims to reflect on this time from a variety of voices. Therefore, this Faces & Spaces segment features members from all of STITCH’s teams exploring a space that brings them joy, comfort, or even inspiration during this time. We hope it provides you a similar feeling.

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" As simple as it sounds, my new favorite space to spend my quarantine time is my family room. It’s where the most natural light can come in and where I’ve been dedicating a lot of 'me' time (stretching, practicing yoga). In a tough time like now, I’ve realized how important it is to embrace sunlight and take care of yourself. "

Erica Davis " This little spot in my backyard has become my favorite place to read and do homework — it’s pretty much the only quiet area in my house, so I love it. " • JUNE 2020

Rec

No Place Like Home Home is a video of my five-yearold self. He and I aren’t too different. Sure, I’m a little taller and I dress myself now (thank god), but when younger me dances and lip-syncs in our garish early-2000s basement, I see the performer in me. When he happily recites the 50 states for his parents, I see the student and the show-off. When he refuses to let his sister in on his games, I see the loner and the narcissist. All this through the grainy home videos flickering on my television. A week or two into quarantine, my parents, my sister and I sat in our living room and hooked up our now ancient camera to watch home videos from childhood. My mom kept saying how much we hadn’t changed, and though I didn’t grasp what she meant at first, I came to understand. On the screen, I played make-believe fairies and wizards with my sister, and now for a week 8

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By Jude Cramer Designed by Meher Yeda

or so we’ve been planning an online Dungeons & Dragons campaign. I tactlessly responded to gifts with disdain, and still I put my foot in my mouth and get flak for being too harsh. My parents were always behind the camera egging on my antics, and they’ve never stopped supporting me in all my endeavors. The details have shifted, but being home again, my family dynamics have fallen right back into place. Altogether, of course, there are some fundamental differences: my sister and I are both adults now with an understanding of the reality of the world. We have the agency to make decisions for ourselves. I feel I’ve come into my own since attending Northwestern, articulating the direction I want to take in life and losing my inhibitions about expressing myself. Then again, Northwestern’s out the window now, isn’t it? My family

hasn’t lived together like this since my freshman year of high school before my sister left for college, and I can’t help but feel that the person I was at that time is creeping back into existence. So much of my identity now — including my fashion presentation — is dependent on relating to my peers, something that feels hollow over Zoom. I reached out to other Northwestern students to see how their lives have been similarly upended by quarantine and what it means to go home and be with family again. Haley Fuller, a second-year transfer student majoring in journalism and religious studies, has gone home to New Canaan, Connecticut, where she lives with her mom and stepdad. With more family close by, she sometimes sees her father and stepsister as well. “Life with any family is crazy and

hectic. And then you add in the dynamics of a blended family, and then you ensure that all of you are stuck together for an extended period of time, so it's definitely been tricky for all of us,” she said. “We get on each other’s nerves a decent amount, just always being with each other.” Though her family is supportive of her, Fuller says that she misses the support of other Northwestern students who can better relate to her experiences. “It's just a very different dynamic to not be surrounded by your peers who are going through all the same things,” she said. Michael Senko, a second-year linguistics and communication studies major, has also returned to the East Coast for quarantine. In Swampscott, Massachusetts, he’s living in a full house: he, his mom, his dad, his three sisters and one of his sisters’ boyfriends are all confined together. “I try not to get involved with the family drama. But there's definitely been a lot of that,” Senko said. “I mean, it's been nice to have them around and spend all this time with them and stuff, but it definitely has been tense at times.” Though he’s happy about being with family to an extent, it’s also been a detriment to his academic success. “I think being at home and surrounded by my family has definitely hurt my ability to focus on work for long amounts of time,” he said. “I feel like we've been stepping on each other's toes a lot, especially with workspaces.” The game has changed even more significantly for international students like Nami Hoffman, a second-year journalism major now at home in Seoul, South Korea. Having attended high school in the United States, Hoffman’s return to South Korea was something of culture shock. “I grew up here, born here, never really lived anywhere else until I left for high school. And despite all of that, I don't speak Korean fluently,

which has always been kind of an obstacle,” she said. “But I wouldn't change anything, I guess. And it's not too bad just because, especially right now, I'm not leaving my house as much even though I have the opportunity to.” "That’s right: in Seoul, quarantine regulations are much looser than they are in most of the U.S., so

“But then there's this weird dichotomy where, even though I feel like I don't want to do anything, I feel really guilty" Hoffman isn’t technically stuck in the home she shares with her mother, father and younger brother. But that doesn’t make it any easier to have lost the Northwestern environment. “I think the hard part is being at home and spending so much time in my bedroom. I just want to lay down and do nothing,” she said. “But then there's this weird dichotomy where, even though I feel like I don't want to do anything, I feel really guilty. And I think that's the Northwestern

part of me being like, ‘well, Nami, if you were at school, you'd be doing all these clubs, you'd be doing all of this, you'd be applying for jobs.’ So there's been a big push and pull since I've been back home.” To these and all other Northwestern students struggling to thrive in their home environments, know that we’re all in this together. Like Fuller, I desperately miss the energy of my peers. Like Senko, I struggle to get work done with my family around. Like Hoffman, I feel conflicted about maintaining the pressures of school while at home. Like everyone, I wish I could go back to Northwestern and be the person that I was when I was there. As it is, I’m happy to listen to everyone’s stories and take comfort in my own. This situation isn’t ideal (obviously), but I’m grateful to have my home and my family through this extraordinary time. I’m grateful for my mom, my dad, my sister and my five-year-old self, who shows me who I’ve been, who I am now and who I want to be.

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opening

drawers by Lucia Shorr

am never home. Cleaning out my closet, finding old gems, or creating space for new finds, is always my first self assigned activity when I am home for any extended amount of time. I rarely, however, ended up giving much away, finding some possible usage for each unworn item. As a dangerously extraverted person, for better or worse, I am completely restless when left alone. For as long as I can remember, I’ve kept my schedule packed, and whatever moments are not filled with extracurriculars, sports practices, or part-time jobs, I am with my friends. As my family says, I utilize our apartment in the East Village of New York City as merely a storage place, for my clothes, and at least sometimes myself. On the floor of my closet, I looked up to see photo albums from my parents’ wedding, baby rain boots on the shelves above me that I’d forgotten were still there, and I began to sort through my drawers of clothes. Pulling all the clothes out drawer by drawer, I gaze at the mountain of fabrics in front of me, towering above my eye level. Before the quarantine that has come as a result of the Coronavirus pandemic, I cannot remember a day where I had not seen my friends, or at least participated in an activity outside the house. I made the decision that this time I will truly think about how the clothes make me feel, if I love them, and if they are benefitting my wardrobe in any way, I would keep them. But otherwise, it was time to let them go. When I came back home from Northwestern, I immediately texted my friends to see who could come with me to get the everything bagel with cream cheese that I had missed for months. A naive and privileged thought that this would be a possibility, but I, along with many of my peers, I had simply believed returning to the City would mean spending time with my close high school friends and introducing them to my college friends that also resided across the five boroughs. Despite the mask and gloves I had adorned on the plane, I had somehow still not accepted the fact that upon my return, things were not going to be normal. Reality struck, as it did for most people, after being told 10

• JUNE 2020

about the initial 14-day quarantine. We would all be alone, inside, and without distractions. A white ribbed off-the-shoulder Brandy Melville top. I bought this specifically for a friend's black-light party in high school, I remember feeling frustrated because, while the shirt was cute, the immediate sweat stains were not. Give away. Sitting on my couch that night - after facing the harsh reality that bagels with my friends and leaving my suitcase fully packed on my floor while gallivanting around the East Village on the night of my return was not going to be possible - I realized how unfamiliar I felt in my own apartment. My parents had both moved apartments after their divorce, and while this was years ago, I realized I had never fully familiarized myself with either of my new living spaces. It was then that I began to think about the things in my life I had been able to ignore or put off as I distracted myself by existing almost purely in the outside world. A pair of Levi’s that hadn’t fit me since my freshman year of high school, but I told myself one day would fit again. In fact, there was a water-softened movie ticket from the premiere of Inside Out in the pocket, likely from the last time I’d worn them. Taking a deep breath I walked into my sister’s room, gifting them to her with the air of mourning and acceptance. Being in quarantine disables the possibilities of usual livelihood distractions, and forces you to engage with what you may have otherwise ignored, to sort through your thoughts, the good, the bad, and the ugly, and cope with them internally. As I plucked more items off the pile I allowed myself the time to truly think about their usage in my life, a transparent honesty that can only be reached through an unrushed, uninterrupted process. There are no emotional bypasses, no parties, or sports games, or shopping excursions. The loneliness that is inevitable during this time forces us, together as individuals experiencing this as a society, to face our feelings, even the ones that we’ve folded into dark corners of our mind, head-on. I laugh as I struggle to give away the shirt I’d worn

when I had my first kiss, despite it being years since I’d last put it on. My eyes continue to dart questioningly towards the give away pile where I’ve placed a bar mitzvah sweatshirt of a friend I’ve since grown apart from. Sometimes getting rid of old clothes feels like getting rid of old parts of yourself. Our instincts often lead us to hold onto things we think have built the person we are today, when in reality we have outgrown them. Growth itself often means letting go. As the days of quarantine rolled into weeks, and now months, I have found myself sorting through the thoughts and realities that I have always been able to push deep into the back of the drawers of feelings that make up my brain. And rather than cutting off their air, I have begun breathing into them. Joyously I find a Dylan’s Candy Bar shirt stuffed into the corner of my bottom drawer that I had never felt fit in the way it was meant to, but now is the perfect flattering tight tank. I move it to my top drawer where I keep the shirts I wear most. By opening drawers I had distracted myself from, a compartmentalized reality of my own brain, I have discovered things that without my awareness had been preventing the creation of space for mental growth. From forgiving myself for moving on from toxic past friendships, to working towards truly accepting the reality of my parent’s divorce, and allowing myself to unravel the fears that prevent me from opening myself up to emotional relationships with significant others. Change is hard to accept. Style changing is not excluded from this. While it is exciting to find yourself increasingly aware of a personal style that allows you to feel both at home and confident in your clothes, accepting that the clothes you love independently may not fit into an evolved form of your style may be hard to accept. It is time to let go of my fraying jean miniskirts. This is not to say that simply by opening the drawers within your mind that they will automatically become clean space for an evolved version of yourself, but merely that by taking this extra personal time to face the parts of yourself that you remain attached to simply out of an inability to face what letting them go might mean. After I have moved away the give away pile, I stare at my now neatly organized, love filled drawers. There is now room for me to fill them with new and exciting finds, to grow my wardrobe and my personal style, and

to appreciate each item I already have for what it truly means to me. It is ultimately a process of acceptance. Whether I’ve chosen to recognize them or not, the corners of my mental closet shape who I am. By slowly choosing to face them without distractions, I feel more powerful and confident in myself than I have ever been. Granting myself the opportunity to feel things, to work through pieces of my life that hurt to even think about, or pieces that simply were hard for me to accept, has left me feeling in control. I am making myself the promise that in the future, beyond the days of COVID-19, I will grant myself the space and time to truly sort through my emotional closet. Taking a deep breath, the air feels light and fresh. I close my drawers.

"While it is exciting to find yourself increasingly aware of a personal style that allows you to feel both at home and confident in your clothes, accepting that the clothes you love independently may not fit into an evolved form of your style may be hard to accept."

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Photoshoot Directors: Miranda Andrade + Annika de Vogel Creative Director: Maxwell Han Photographer: Sarah Loper Models/Stylists: Miranda Andrade, Anna Biasco, Annika de Vogel, Amina Elmasry, Max Han, Sarah Loper, Shea Randall + Mikayla Williams Designed by Izzy Chun

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Fighting video call fatigue with a colorful dose of creativity

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â€¢ JUNE 2020

SEa, Sand, Scenery: How Nature Has Helped My Quarantine

By Isabelle Kenagy Designed by meher Yeda

Throughout quarantine I have, to put it plainly, felt really cooped up. I have felt unproductive and unmotivated. I feel like I traveled back to high school, and I don’t like it one bit. Coming home from school means that things have changed. Friendships have shifted, family members have moved away, old taco shops have closed, new ones have opened, and my sister even took some furniture from my childhood bedroom. However, the one thing that has never changed about home is the landscape. I’m from San Diego, California, a place known for having some of the best beaches in the world, so there’s never a sore sight. We’re in the most southern part of the state, snug against Tijuana and the Pacific Ocean. San Diego boasts beautiful beaches hidden below steep cliffs and an amazing desert landscape that is even more striking against the deep blue ocean. Our wildlife is 18

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thriving with baby seals born on the beaches, leopard sharks swimming in the cove, and coyotes in our canyons. It’s a place I’m beyond lucky to call home, and this nature is my saving grace now that I’m back home. About two weeks into quarantine, my dad asked me to go on a hike for the 3 millionth time, and being completely devoid of other options, I finally decided to say yes. Not to sound like I’m preaching straight out of a meditation guide, but the fresh air, sun on my skin, and sound of the waves crashing on the shore immediately rejuvenated me. We walked from our house down to the beach surrounded by the smells of the desert ocean landscape: sage shrubs, eucalyptus trees, and salt in the water. Something in my serotonin activity must have changed, because on that hike, I felt truly happy for the first time in two weeks. This isn’t uncommon. In fact,

a study led by Gregory Bratman at Stanford University found that spending time outdoors can be clinically beneficial for mental health. The study tested the effects of nature on mental health by splitting participants into two groups: one where participants walked in nature for 90 minutes and one where participants walked on a sidewalk next to car traffic for 90 minutes. Researchers found that frontal lobe activity dramatically changed in the participants that walked in nature. The nature group was also less likely to focus on negative thoughts than the traffic group. I don’t know if my frontal lobe activity has changed, but I do know that since that hike, I have made a consistent effort to spend more time in nature. I have been surfing, hiking, swimming, or just laying out in the sun every day and appreciating this Earth. I can already feel the difference in my

mental health. I sleep better, I feel more physically healthy, and I have less time to focus on my negative thoughts. There’s something about nature – salt on my face, sand in my hair, sun on my back – that makes daily life problems seem smaller. While life continues to change dramatically, nature —for the most part— stays consistently beautiful. When surfing, I feel a change in my mood. The second I run into the water and the board hits the waves, my mind is set free. Paddling out is not always fun, as usually I end up with some saltwater in my lungs, but the race between me and the incoming waves is always exhilarating. Once I’m out past the break, I sit up on my board and just take in the sight of a flat

ocean in front of me. Little bumps that will soon be crashing waves float towards me and I judge them, deciding whether or not I should flip and paddle. It’s quiet out there and I love to take a moment to notice the little things: the sun hitting my face, the water lapping up onto my board, and even the wax clinging to my tight, turquoise wetsuit. It’s even more of sight at sunset when the sky is painted with a mix of pinks and purples. When I see a wave I like, I turn and paddle hoping my twig arms can pull enough weight to get me into the wave. If I catch it, I have about 10 seconds to pop up and ride the wave out. To be entirely honest, most of the time I get crushed by the wave, fall off my board, or don’t catch the wave in

the first place, but it doesn't matter. Being out there is most of the fun. After the surf session I’ll get in bed with a sunburned face, chapped lips, and sore arms and fall asleep immediately. It’s medicinal. I’m incredibly lucky to be surrounded by the San Diego landscape and I took it for granted. It took a quarantine to make me realize that I had one of the best medicines in the world sitting in my backyard. Nature has gotten me through this tough time. It’s a constant in my life and it is blossoming more than ever right now. I encourage you to love the landscape you’re stuck in and take some to hang out with nature. Hopefully it helps you as much as it’s helped me.

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Covid Closet By Olivia Evans Designed by Bailey Richards

As our extended Spring Break came to an end, and President Shapiro made the announcement of Spring Quarter being cancelled in its entirety, I was brought into the harsh reality that normalcy would not return any time soon. I also tragically realized I was stuck with my Winter/Spring transition wardrobe: a collection of cardigans and warm pants, a few tank tops and nothing really all that colorful. As the weeks dragged on, I realized I had brought home a slice of my wardrobe that simply wasn’t conducive to spending each day in my Mom’s apartment. When I packed up to head home for the extended Spring Break, I was holding on to the hope that I would be returning to campus for Spring Quarter. I decided to leave most of my clothes at school, only bringing home a suitcase slightly heavier than I would have if things were still normal. I began feeling bored with the clothes I had, and I started to feel jealous of the way fashion bloggers were using clothing as a way to cope with quarantine sadness (particularly Man Repeller’s #Going Nowhere But Fuck It I’m Getting Dressed 20

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movement). I mourned as the Spring season began slipping away, as some of my favorite clothes to wear in Spring were sitting untouched in my closet at school. I felt stuck in a sad cycle of either rewearing outfits that didn’t match the weather outside or simply staying in my pajamas. On a morning when I was doing heaping loads of laundry and had nothing left to wear, I finally turned, as I did so many times growing up, to my Mom’s closet. As I sifted through for something to wear while my own clothes were being washed, I rediscovered the hidden gem that is a mother’s closet. While my mom would never describe herself as a fashionista (she has always preferred to dress for comfort) she has impeccable taste; particularly in the jewelry department. My mom’s jewelry expertise begins with my grandmother. Her vibrant collection of clipon earrings began because my Grandma never got her ears pierced; so my Mom put off piercing her ears until my older sister got her ears pierced as a teenager– thus accumulating a massive amount of vintage clipons from my grandmother and from her own purchases. My mom, grandmother and aunts have always had a special love for jewelry, making annual visits to the Jewelry Show in Rosemont, IL every year since the early 90s and using it as their primary source of fashion expression. My mom asserts her fashion icons are Audrey Hepburn and my aunt Sheila for their

jewelry choices and throughout the quarantine she has expressed admiration for some of the most over-the-top looks from Gossip Girl and High School Musical. "I like something eye catching like jewelry or a pop of color– things that draw attention.” I have many fond memories of rummaging through her caboodle —a retro jewelry storage kit— while playing dress up or before some type of school performance. The times I felt the most stylish in childhood were when she would let me borrow a pair of her earrings. Further, from her lifetime experience of thrifting, my mom’s closet contains so many original pieces that often get pushed to the back of her closet– things that even my mom has forgotten about, such as the pink sweater from my Gossip Girl look or the swimsuit cover-up from the Digital Dillo look. “My favorite clothes are associated with fond memories, like from an event or a trip,” The jean jacket from the Quarantine Walk look was bought prior to a trip my Mom took to California in 1989, and the blue necklace from my Disney channel look was a departing gift from one of my Mom’s friends from Arkansas before our family moved back to Chicago.

"I like something eye catching like jewelry or a pop of color– things that draw attention.”

I put together a brief lookbook of some of my personal favorite pieces from my mom’s closet, while combining them with some of my own clothes.

Momma Closet Lookbook XOXO, Gossip Girl Taking inspiration from my Mom and I’s new guilty pleasure, I channeled my inner Upper East Sider for this look, but added a modern spin. I used all pieces from my mom– a NY and Company sweater and plaid pants (both thrifted) and two pieces of vintage jewelry– DOOR KNOCKER EARRINGS (these have been my favorite since my days of dressup) and a simple gold

Digital Dillo Day Channeling Emma Chamberlain (on both the athome festival and the shoelace belt), I paired a random purple shoelace I found with the belts in my Mom’s closet, a yellow Talbots blazer and a swimsuit material skirt cover up as a repurposed tube top. From my own closet, I added a pair of high waisted jeans and a pair of earrings I got from a thrift store.

Disney Channel Character in Quarantine Imagining what I would wear for a Disney Channel audition tape, I created this look with a jean skirt I thrifted and cut, along with a pajama dress of my Mom’s (Marilyn Monroe lingerie) tucked in topped with a skinny pink belt (Target) and a gifted necklace. I think this actually ended up being my personal favorite even though it felt a little over the top in the moment. Plus, I love dual ability in clothes and switching this from a nightgown to a going-out top was a big personal success.

Daily Outdoor Walk 'Fit I based this look around this long satin Black skirt my Mom thrifted. I paired it with a simple exercise tank top and a jean jacket by Sonoma Outfitters and some vintage jewelry. A mother’s closet is one of the most indispensable fashion resources. I found myself incredibly grateful throughout this stay-at-home Spring Quarter to have a safe living space where I could spend time experimenting with my fashion choices through my mom’s wardrobe. While this time brought a lot of personal frustration and uncertainty as to what lies ahead, I found peace in the regression that came with stealing my mom’s clothes. Using this time to wear things I normally wouldn’t because I was the only one to see it was certainly a silver lining in leaving half of my wardrobe at school (and not returning to school at all).

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REFLECTION

We look back at ourselves in self-reflection and find solace in the environment around us during self-isolation Photoshoot Directors: Sara Gronich, Sarah Loper Photographers: Sarah Loper, Jesse Noss, Wyatt Morris, Grace Deng, Kendall Wieland, Sara Gronich Models: Sarah Loper, Sara Gronich, Grace Deng, Kendall Wieland, Valeria Lira, Ravi Tandon, Stella Lin, Danielle Tolsma, Selam Getaneh Designed by Grace Lougheed

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unboxing

Sweating in Self-Isolation

by Sierra Turner Designed by Quynh-Nhi Tran

Guide to Free Online Workout Classes

by Emi Silverstein // Designed by Quynh-Nhi Tran A completely free Friday night. Two Netflix docuseries to binge watch. A trash bag, a pair of scissors, a comb and a conditioner. This is what I need to take my box braids out. I start by cutting my 70 braids to a length right above my breast. Unbraid one box braid until my natural hair is freed and the synthetic hair falls between my index, middle finger and thumb. I repeat the process for the remaining 69 braids. This six to seven hour tedious process is one in which I absolutely dread every two months. It’s a component of my life that I don’t discuss or publicize, it’s too weird to explain. I go off the grid until I get my braids redone the following Saturday afternoon. It’s my way of shielding the appearance of my incredibly thick, coiled natural hair that may be confusing considering my everyday, staple style of box braids. This time around, however, in quarantine, I wouldn’t have a choice. I had to grow to love a new version of myself that I persistently avoided. Before returning home, I was starting to feel more confident with my boldness — my voice, my identity, my style. Especially in Northwestern’s racially homogenous settings, I was learning how to fearlessly express my individuality, ultimately discovering and prioritizing spaces and people who I could do this with. This evolving confident energy was rather disrupted, forcing me to re-evaluate how I can continue to express myself without the proximity to the spaces and people I was growing with. I felt mentally scrambled. I was living solely with my mother and sister, navigating life without my father as he and my mother decided to go their separate ways, while also facing the unknown and the hysteria of the pandemic. I needed to recenter myself, assess who I was becoming and what I needed to prioritize. I then stumbled upon my grey NorthFace backpack that somehow escaped under my bed, ultimately realizing I packed two books that were left on my shelf in my dorm since the beginning of winter quarter: TaNehisi Coates’s The Water Dancer and Cal Newport’s Digital Minimalism. Newport’s guide to “choosing a focused life in a noisy world,” seemed almost too applicable to my mental state. He preaches “Digital Minimalism,” a philosophy of “technology use in which you focus your online time on a small number of carefully selected optimized activities that strongly support things you value, and then you happily miss out on everything else.”

I wanted to focus on how I could bring such philosophy into my reality outside of the superficial world that is technology and social media. I started to focus on the values that are at my core: authenticity, creativity, empathy, intimacy, innovation and individuality. In that, I continued to actively prioritize the people that made me feel like I could evolve, extracting the activities that I found would not build me to be the best version of myself. Taking more time for myself to breathe and avoid my perfectionist tendencies, often finding myself practicing and recording Tik Toks with my 22-year-old sister instead of finishing a homework assignment or profusely crying to Michelle Obama’s Netflix documentary Becoming and not calling myself dramatic when I did so. Realizing and reflecting upon my rawness, journaling it and discussing it with those who matter in my life so that I don’t feel so alone and isolated has helped me. And then I did the unthinkable. Quarantined indefinitely, I was forced to confront my hair. There was no other choice. I had to take out my braids. My braids — I long believed — were my statement. I fell in love with getting braids the summer going into my senior year of high school. I was fascinated with the versatility of the styles — micro or jumbo, platinum blonde or reddishbrown — and wanted to explore. However, the length, the liberation and the uniqueness my braids offered me allowed me to feel comfortable in a confidence that was ultimately false. The way it differentiated me in my sorority’s pledge class composite that proudly stands in the entryway of the distinguished house. The way it allowed me to escape from the stress I thought would result from training my natural curls, and therefore, who I truly am at my core. It allowed me to subconsciously disregard the value I uphold the most and encourage people to practice the most: authenticity. What I didn’t realize was that taking out my braids and getting to know my natural, 4b textured hair would not stress me out, rather every night I’ve been able to spend detangling it has created an alone time for myself where I’m able to reflect about life and my continuing evolution, ultimately realizing that this time has proved that I am capable of more than I expected of myself. Approximately 11 weeks ago, my life dramatically shifted. Losing my sense of place and my dad’s presence had the opportunity to damage the person who I’ve been evolving into. However, accepting this new era, and learning how to feel, is my silver-lining during such an unthinkable time.

I had to grow to love a new version of myself that I persistently avoided.

• JUNE 2020

My final hours on Northwestern’s campus during my freshman spring quarter were spent at the Henry Crown Sports Pavilion. Reluctant to leave, and in denial of the ever-progressing virus, I wiped down the handles of what would be my last workout on a treadmill until the distant future. I have never been super athletic or excellent in team sports (I was cut from the no-cuts junior varsity volleyball team freshman year of high school), but I have always loved the endorphin rush that working out gives me. After being a dedicated member of the Pure Barre in Evanston for a few months, I decided to train to be a teacher. This required around 100 hours of training and discipline. I was certified and ready to teach only two weeks before Northwestern closed campus and I was returned home to New York. The sudden change of scenery is not exactly what I had expected when signing my contract in January. Though I couldn’t actually put into practice, training to become an instructor taught me about the different muscle groups at work during exercise classes, giving me an essential understanding of how best to tone and strengthen my body while protecting my joints. So, upon returning home I made it my goal to try new classes in order to stay active while staying home. Additionally, I recently splurged on a Fitbit, which allows me to calculate the net benefit of the specific online classes I am taking. It adds a game-like element to my exercise that makes movement more exciting - motivating me to outdo my previous work. Overall, I am doing my best with what I have. Here are the workouts I have tested and loved, requiring minimal to no equipment: Recently, I have noticed that the Chloe Ting 2 Week Shred program is all the rage on social media, with promising before and after photos plastered on YouTube thumbnails. However, this culture of two week systems does not provide long-lasting results unless you keep up the intense regimen following the two week period. Instead of focusing on a rapid “shred,” I would recommend Sculpt Society with Megan Roup. This program is energetic and intense, but will not leave you reluctantly doing upand-down planks. While this is a paid subscription service, there is a two-week free trial as well as many free sessions on Youtube in partnership with Popsugar Fitness. It combines cardio dance with a focus on building core strength. Low impact exercise is the best way to help your body heal from heavy cardio. I recommend Melissa Wood Health, a yoga and pilates based method that focuses on long lines throughout the body, to combat joint pain caused by your daily governmentmandated walk/run. I have struggled with back pain for as long as I remember, and one of the things that has helped to combat this pain is strengthening my core and improving my posture. Melissa’s exercises have helped me by supplementing the Barre exercises I have been trained to do and improving my body strength. Upon signing up, there is a week free trial of her many class offerings, and she also posts “flows” (shorter versions of her classes) to her

Youtube channel for free. What I appreciate is that the workouts do not involve a ton of movement in order to feel a burn within your muscles -- on a lazy day, you can still feel accomplished. Cans of food can be supplemented for one pound weights and a yoga mat is encouraged but not necessary. Additionally, Melissa ends her workouts with a small meditation, forcing you to thank your body for the work you have contributed to it. This mindfulness has helped me to re-center and always leaves me in a calmer state than I started. Occasionally, when the stress of quarantine hits, the only thing to do is dance it out. During times like these I rely on 305 Fitness. On their website you will find a treasure trove of ten to fifteen-minute dance cardio videos that pack a hidden punch. The classes are upbeat with easy-to-follow choreography. Native to NYC, my friends and I loved to frequent these classes at the Columbus Circle location last summer, sweating and dancing for an hour with a live DJ and an instructor who instantly made you feel like their best friend. The classes are lively and are guaranteed to give you a rush of endorphins. While throwing everything out on the dance floor may seem daunting to some in a group setting, this is your chance to perform on your bedroom floor, without judgment. My favorite instructor Melissa Birnbaum, a bubbly ball of energy, is even featured in one of the videos. The empowerment I felt leaving the studio uniquely translates to the feeling I get finishing an online class.

If these classes do not speak to you, many studios are offering free live-streaming programming, so show your support for your favorite boutique fitness studio by participating in these accessible classes. Ultimately, this is not the time to shame your body into harsh routines, but rather to be kind to yourself and move your body in the ways that make you feel good. • JUNE 2020

An Inside Perspective into the Lives of Fashion Figures during Quarantine

by Victoria Faria D esigned by Ashley Xu

With lockdowns, quarantines and social isolation policies, we are all increasingly relying on social media as a source of entertainment; the vast variety of content for all tastes and constant updates keep our eyes stuck to them! However, models, influencers, and fashion journalists all work in an industry that requires physical contact as opposed to isolation. How are they facing this

challenge? Did their purposes change given our global health and economic crisis? How are these digital content producers adapting into our new reality where fashion, sometimes perceived as frivolous, is not a priority? To understand the answers to these questions and much more, I reached out to both Brazilian and American fashion figures to learn how they are coping with the situation.

1: PAULA MERLO

I n t e r v i e w e e : Pa u l a M e r l o , @ p a u l i m e r l o , E d i t o r i n C h i e f o f V o g u e B r a z i l

Can you talk a little bit about how your work as a digital influencer has changed in terms of content produced outside or at home? How has this transition been for you? I know I'm influencing other people, but I still see myself as a journalist and not as a digital influencer. What I've been seeing is the transition for the girls who work in fashion, digital influencing: at home, you don't have the photographers, your stylist, those amazing backgrounds… So I think that you have to work with whatever you have at home and make whatever you have at home very appealing, and not boring, because you’ve been home for the past few months and you have to generate new content with a small space you've got, so you have to be much more creative. I think that I'm talking about Vogue: we have to be much more creative in the way we do our stories, our content, because again, we don't have the photographers, we cannot do fashion editorials or anything like that. Also, I think that you need to change a little bit your tone and understand what people want. People do not want to see, I don't know, high heels or stilettos. They want to know if they are obsessed or they're interested in fashion. They want to know what to wear if they're doing Zoom calls, what to cook for dinner tonight, what are they going to read, how will they entertain their children…- it's more than just fashion. Vogue is not only about fashion and what to wear, we are talking

• JUNE 2020

2: MADISON R AE I n t e r v i e w e e : M a d i s o n R a e , @ t h e m a d i s o n r a e , N Y, w w w. m r a e t e n d e n c i e s . What about the changes in sponsors and partnerships? How are companies handling those relationships during this time? This was a tough issue to navigate in the beginning. For a while I didn't even feel comfortable doing swipe ups. About one week after lockdown started, I ended up turning down a small partnership because promoting it just didn't feel right at the time. The first post I agreed upon was a giveaway that allowed someone to win something. That felt better to me because I wasn't asking anyone to buy anything. The latest one I did was a brand that needed content from their new product

launch. They obviously couldn't hire models, so they sent me the product and allowed me to style it and shoot how I normally would for my own feed. There was no pressure in posting on my page, but they gave me a discount code for my followers and it was a product I believed in and thought my followers would love so I did it anyway!

3: JULIA TIBERIO I n t e r v i e w e e : J u l i a T i b e r i o , @ j u l i a t i b e r i o , F i r e n z e & S ã o Pa u l o , B r a z i l Are your digital contents expanding into other areas besides your expertise? For instance, from fashion to cooking, pottery, art, etc.? (Note: This interview was translated from Portuguese) About change in content, I don’t think it changed a lot. I am not in the mood of producing a lot right now and I am respecting that moment. I think that are influencers that are doing really nice works like Silvia Braz, who does a lot of Lives and brings a lot of relevant topics that are not even from her focus which are fashion, beauty and travelling and I think it’s being really cool and interesting. But I am facing that moment as a time to respect myself: if I am in the mood to produce I will, and if I am not, I won’t produce. I baked cakes, posted that some days,

did beauty Lives which is something that I never done before and I wanted to do as in normal life I end up not having the time and patience to do it. I gave some book tips but I don’t also talk only about that. So a little bit but not much because again I am not forcing myself to talk about topics that are not my focus or that I am not in the mood of talking about.

4: CHRISSY RUTHERFORD Interviewee: Chrissy Rutherford, @chrissyford, NY & Jamaica

more about fashion as culture. Whatever is fashion in music, in food and in the arts, we are talking about it in Vogue. I think that we have transitioned because we have understood the sensibility in our consumer and our reader: what people need and want right now in their homes.

Are you supporting (financially or promoting) any kind of philanthropic project right now? I participated in a second-hand clothing sale where all the proceeds were being donated to an organization that was supported undocumented immigrants affected by COVID-19 since they're not eligible for the stimulus package. I'm doing another online sale sometime this

summer where I will be donating proceeds to charity. Otherwise I've been making small donations on my own.

• JUNE 2020

OVERDR ES S ED 38

Tired of wearing sweatpants? We are too.

â€˘ JUNE 2020

Photoshoot Directors: Miranda Andrade + Annika de Vogel Models/Stylists/Photographers: Miranda Andrade, Anna Biasco, Annika de Vogel, Amina Elmasry, Shea Randall + Mikayla Williams Editor: Sarah Loper Designed by Margeaux Rocco

In this shoot, the styling team gets all dressed up with nowhere to go.

• JUNE 2020

â€¢ JUNE 2020

Should We Be Afraid Of Our Dreams? Students remembering their dreams more aren’t alone, and dreams are now filling of void of social interaction BY JOELY SIMON // DESIGNED BY AGNES LEE Wait, I’m freaking out. I have had the weirdest dreams here every night.

In a span of 10 minutes, everyone in the group chat felt simultaneously comforted and more lost. It’s not abnormal to share a crazy or funny dream once in a while, but for all eleven friends to be experiencing dreams on almost every weekday night? Bizarre. The dreams of my peers intersect so closely with reality, making them more uncanny than simply a dream about flying or the latest show you're binging. They reflect certain aspects of daily life to an extreme, disorienting level. Karen Konkoly, a second-year graduate student in professor Ken Paller’s psychlogy lab, currently sees an upward trend of people remembering their dreams and having more bad dreams. But bad doesn’t mean there is something to be worried about. “I would define bad as a dream in which there is a predominant negative emotion,” she says. “There’s an interesting disconnect: if you have a bunch of people report those dreams and give them to blind readers, the readers might rate them as much more negative than those who experienced them. Negative events might happen in your dream but you don’t feel that negatively about it yourself.” Why do we remember these dreams more right now? It has to do with how people are sleeping, she says. You have more dreams when the brain is closer to being awake, and fragmented sleep happens more with more stress and not as much stimulation during the day. Another reason has to do with that some people are sleeping later in the morning, meaning they’re probably getting more sleep during the rapid eye movement period (REM) resulting in more dreams. Konkoly suggests that we have more dreams right 46

• JUNE 2020

Wait I’ve been having weird dreams too. I don’t remember last night’s, but it was something about my birthday dinner and we were doing a fajita potluck at this fancy steak restaurant. But then I realized no one could come because of corona.

now because there are more emotions to process, even if we may not explicitly think there are. Even if stress has declined because of a universal pass/fail mandate, dreams allow people to process information from throughout the day. So if we are taking in less information during the day (we can all admit Zoom classes don’t compare to in-class stimulation), we have less to process, so we perhaps start dreaming about larger constructs, and search our memories since daily ones aren’t as interesting. “Here’s my conjecture: dreams are perceptual, so when trying to perceive the abstract in your life it becomes super crazy,” Konkoly says. “Abstract, emotional things being perceived become more bizarre. “You might not be having dreams symbolic of coronavirus, but you are still having more tangible dreams because you are processing stress that is related to the virus. Getting organized, for example, is symbolic about it but not metaphorical,” she says. Rachael Cook, a junior at Penn State and the President of Panhellenic there, has dreams about her meetings, interviews, and issues she’s solving. “They’re so realistic and on point that I wake up actually thinking I have to finish the tasks from my dreams,” she says. Has the dream world become more high-intensity than the real world? Others though are completely random, Cook said. “I had a dream the other night that I was trapped in the show 90 Day Fiancé and my family would not let me come home because I had to respect my contract. Very weird.” Nothing has changed about her bedtime routine, except for the fact she’s back in her high school bedroom and doesn’t brush her teeth with her friends.

It’s lack of stimulation and stress related. Less stress means more dreams?

Wait, this article says more stress equals dreams, which is weird because I’m not stressed at all right now.

No, I know. But you are. I think stress doesn't mean anxiety it can mean a stress which is like something that’s not the norm in your lifestyle aka this whole thing is not normal and a major stress on our lives.

Cook feels normal about it all. From conversations with friends to articles and posts on Instagram about vivid dreams during quarantine, Cook does not feel alone. There’s no sense of insecurity, even as she learns that stress and anxiety root these weird dreams during quarantine. “Well last night I had a dream that I was in Evanston but it didn’t look like Evanston,” says junior Ellie Klien. “I was with my family and there were rumors of yearly killing?” In Klien’s dream, she went to bed, and people were giving shots to those sleeping so they would not remember things going on. But her shot didn't work. “So I heard and knew everything and basically my mom and her sister were killing this random dude and moved his body and everything. I didn’t wanna make any noise or show them I was awake but someone was legit being killed. So the next day I told my grandma and she said, ‘oh they do that every year’ and I was like what?” In her dream she began googling the man killed online to see if any leads pointed towards her family. There’s no real point to try and stop these dreams from happening. If you do not have the same repetitive dream and the dream does not affect your daily life’s anxieties or abilities, nothing is wrong. The concept of sleep hygiene (i.e. no blue light before bed, having a routine, meditation etc.) related to deepening one’s sleep won’t have much of an effect on dreaming, Konkoly says. So practicing your yoga before bed, wearing a new pajama set and following a strict nighttime skin routine to “prep” for bedtime won’t change your dreams. Klein doesn’t see a need to change her bedtime routine in a way to “prevent” these dreams or change her sleeping habits. As scary as this may seem, Klein

doesn’t define her dreams as violent or disappointing, just absurd. They’re simply illogical. Illogical. Things we don’t understand naturally frighten us. Not being able to explain the details of this virus scare us. Trying to create order in this chaos overwhelms us. Yet, does illogical here do the exact opposite, giving us more clarity and understanding? Does knowing our dreams come from a place of confusion actually work to comfort us although they still make no sense and perhaps never will? Dreams also refer to our goals and hopes, which are anything but illogical. So how do we grapple with these incoherent stories that we experience at night with this moment in history where dreams, in a goal-oriented sense, seem farther away for those that have lost jobs, loved ones and are struggling during this time, yet more potent for others as they determine and lead our way out of the pandemic. Everything becomes blurred. The bizarre dreaming many of us experience during this time, should not be thought of as bad things, Konkoly says. These dreams are clearly indicators of us processing the many changes and new habits we are adopting. Dreams internalize these new norms, helping people learn about ways of acting. But as our weird dreaming indicates, that’s ok, because it’s natural to our physiological well-being, just as this moment of indecision, lack of motivation for some while spring of creativity for others, does not indicate good or bad. Illogical at times becomes logical. Our dreaming right now serves as that reminder that confusion does not have to mean we are doing something wrong. Confusion is natural. • JUNE 2020

THE

TIK TOK

DI ET BY ERICA DAVIS DESIGNED BY IZZY CHUN

• JUNE 2020

Take it from someone who has tried them all. Intermittent fasting, 10-day ab challenges, metabolism boosters. I’ll save you the trouble of eating only eggs for a week: dieting tricks don’t work––especially tips given to you by 15-year-olds on TikTok. It was only a few months ago that TikTok users began abandoning comedy videos in favor of those that showed close-ups of their stomachs. Then came the videos of these same users showing us not only what they look like, but how to look like them. So I deleted the app. Or, that’s what I wish I’d done. Instead, I unintentionally subscribed to this category of TikToks by allowing the algorithm to curate a feed of similar videos. I spent hours watching and comparing myself to an infinite scroll of girls who looked like the female form of The David. They told me to eat salads with no croutons, cheese or ranch, so I ate salads with no croutons, cheese or ranch. They told me it was easy to get a snatched waist if I didn’t eat after 7pm or before 11am, so I didn’t eat after 7pm or before 11 am. It was like playing Simon Says, only Simon was a skinny teenager promoting unhealthy eating habits. I was tired. I was hungry. But more importantly, I was bored. I kept watching because though it was ugly and mentally damaging, I just couldn’t look away. Until finally, after weeks of trying weird diets and workouts, I decided I could. So I deleted the app. For real this time. And it wasn’t just me. First-year Isabelle Kenagy also deleted TikTok after her For You page was taken over by what she describes as “fake health science.” “I looked at one or two recipes and then my entire feed––my entire For You Page–– was all recipes and workouts. It wasn’t like normal healthy stuff, it was like really really skinny Instagram models being like, ‘How You can get My Body.’ ” The more Kenagy watched these workout and dieting videos, the more her feed would inch towards content about eating disorders. She says her feed quickly transitioned from “How I Lost 10 lbs” to a girl taking laxatives, implying that she was purging. But TikTok users didn’t stop at the whisper of eating disorders. Kenagy watched videos captioned #ana (referring to anorexia) and others that used the sound “Eating Disorder Check.” What’s most disturbing about this trend is that it infiltrates users’ feeds without their knowledge. Kenagy wasn’t looking to watch videos glorifying eating disorders, just as I wasn’t trying to spiral into diet culture. Yet because of the way TikTok’s algorithm is constructed, giving a view to a health shake or an ab workout video inadvertently led us to anorexia content. TikTok is not explicit about the mechanics of their algorithm, but the description from the app store reads, “all you have to do is watch, engage with what you like, skip what you don’t, and you’ll find an endless stream of short videos that feel personalized just for you.” The key

is that it’s not the videos that you “like,” but the videos that you engage with that determine your personalized feed. Giving a few misplaced views to health-related videos can lead you into a trap of infinite TikToks about dieting and eating disorders. I tried to break the algorithm, but it wasn’t easy. It took me an hour of marking “Not Interested” to a slew of diet videos before my For You page reverted back to homeostasis: a never-ending loop of people dancing to Savage by Megan Thee Stallion. First-year Ejun Kim was not so lucky with transforming her feed. She says it was full of restricted eating suggestions and girls listing their measurements. Kim was diagnosed with an eating disorder this past summer and says she was beginning to feel a lot better. That is, of course, until stay-at-home orders began and she had much more time to scroll through TikTok.

skinny person in front of it, despite that there is no basis iin fact. Trust me, I would know. Much of this desperation stems from TikTok’s representation problem. Any user can perpetually scroll through videos of very thin girls in little clothing, but never see someone their own size. Amongst a sea of girls dancing in bikinis and planking in sports bras (TikTok influencers included), Lizzo’s video in a swimsuit was immediately taken down. Lizzo is no timid, subsidiary star, however. She was quick to insinuate on Twitter that it was removed because of her size, telling TikTok, “we need to talk.” Eventually, TikTok put Lizzo’s video back up after an onslaught of backlash, but the For You page’s body diversity did not increase. I, too, woke up to the infamous “This Violates Our Community Guidelines” in place of a video I posted dancing in a swimsuit, a move

WHAT’S MOST DISTURBING ABOUT THE TREND IS THAT IT INFILTRATES USERS’ FEEDS WITHOUT THEIR KNOWLEDGE. “I’m reverting back to the mindset when I was really deep in the trenches [of an eating disorder],” Kim said. “When the girls are dancing, I won’t even be looking at the dance, I’ll be looking at the way their body moves.” Nicole Bentley, a Chicago-based therapist specialized in eating disorders, says that this extensive exposure to one specific body type and messaging about how to achieve it is particularly dangerous during stay-at-home orders. There’s less accountability without the structure of a school day, fewer real social connections, and higher susceptibility to depression and anxiety, which robs viewers of mental resources needed to combat these messages. Bentley explains that because of the fun and casual manner of the app, users don’t have the critical mindset needed to realize when watching becomes harmful. The overt repetition of this singular body type is validating: “it can develop into something called a core belief. ‘I do believe that skinny is better.’ ‘I do believe that I am too big, I can’t be happy at this weight.’ Or, ‘I do believe that dieting is the only way to get the body I want to then be happy,’ ” she says. This shame cycle is what leads to the seemingly absurd: 123.9K likes on a video promoting a diet of only eggs. But desperate viewers will try anything if you put a

I’m sure made my 10 followers feel much safer on the app. TikTok hasn’t released how (or who) decides what videos to take down, but I have to wonder why Lizzo’s and my body don’t belong in the “Community,” but Charli D’Amelio’s does. I’m in a place now where I can ignore the bodyshaming algorithm and zoom out from the small world of dieting on TikTok. But there are so many users who aren’t yet in that place, and others who are heading down a more dangerous path because they can’t escape this overwhelming space of models and those trying to become them. TikTok is responsible for entertaining the dredging up of dieting fads and eating disorder trends that had all but disappeared from the mainstream social media sphere. While Instagram and other platforms were improving in terms of body positivity, Kim says that TikTok diet culture “feels like a really big interruption to our progress.” If the company is serious about no longer being the epicenter of anorexia promotion and diet culture, it must fix the susceptibility of its algorithm and aggressively target pro-eating disorder content. More specifically, it must allow its visible “Community” to be diverse, balanced, and inclusive of everyone with an account, not just everyone with a 24” waist. • JUNE 2020

Isolation as a Creative Catalyst

By Nikolas Chambers Designed by Grace Lougheed

orks produced under periods of exile and quarantine: Shakespeare’s King Lear & Isaac Newton’s theory of gravity (isolation from the bubonic plague), Victor Hugo’s Les Miserables (exile from Napoleon’s France), and Simone de Beauvior’s Les Bouches Inutiles (exile from Nazi-occupied France). Shakespeare’s King Lear is basically a play about a family that kills each other in a horribly gruesome style, no doubt influenced by his own experience trapped inside a cottage in the English countryside. Although their works span centuries, each artist utilized their time in exile as a period for reflection and creativity, enabling them to produce hallmarks. For these artists, quarantine strengthened an already running current of artistic expression. Once more, COVID-19 gives creatives, both amateur and advanced, the chance to devote more time to their work or explore new avenues of expression. Fashion due to its low cost, wearability, and accessibility has become a frequented form of expression in quarantine. In this article, we will look at four different Northwestern students and one local Chicago designer to see how quarantine has impacted their craft. Over quarantine and after 11 years, Kate O’Donnell, Northwestern Alumni and creative writing major, got back into sewing. Growing up, she had sewn Star Wars Halloween costumes for her twin brothers as a child, but had given up the pastime as she grew up. Having graduated, O’Donnell relapsed to her old practice. She started off creating an apron, and then followed with a pair of overalls. Unlike the apron, the overalls turned out to be ill fitting and awkward, a trickier sew than the apron for O’Donell. After completed the overalls, O’Donell said “I never have a desire to see anyone in overalls ever again.” Although they may not have turned out like she wanted, quarantine ignited a youthful passion for clothing making she had forgotten. Ellie Odom, a rising Sophomore from Chicago, began adding personalized elements to her clothing during quarantine, blending her love for art and style. Ellie, like most other creatives in this article, sought an artistic outlet to placate her quarantine boredom. Having to evacuate college without much time to pack, Odom left most of her clothes behind. Stuck at home without her favorite pieces, it was time to add some character to long-forgotten clothing. Odom began by bleaching an old pair of thrifted jeans (an added plus for sustainably) with a paintbrush, subverting the common rubber band twist plus bleach technique.

• JUNE 2020

She “took a paintbrush, dipped it in bleach, and drew flames onto the jeans,” Odom said, “it allowed for more detail, but destroyed the brush.” She had never bleached before but with the unscheduled time from quarantine she was able to explore the popular online technique. Continuing off the success of the jeans, Odom tried her hand at making clothing from scratch. Without a sewing machine, Odom created a silk undershirt with a backless cowl neck top held together by string -- fashion truly has a low barrier to entry. A physical craft, clothing design enables the artist to see their piece come together and physically control the presentation, unlike other art forms. On a similar note, rising Sophomore and Medill student Julia Karten, has also explored the avocational side of fashion. However, Karten saw the potential for commercial revenue and capitalized. She got the idea to make the business because she wanted to produce in a way that was both fulfilling and gave back to the community. She started making bracelets for her friends and family. As more and more requests came in, Karten decided to make an Instagram and start fulfilling orders from online customers. Karten started by creating only bracelets, but gradually expanded into rings and chokers. The cornerstone of her business model is the element of personalization: each customer can customize the design of their jewelry. “Typically customers chose sorority letters, phrases, and other details,” Karten said. At a point when contamination fears are peaking, Karten said she “makes sure we wipe down all the products…all the jewelry is wiped down with disinfectant wipes before it leaves the house.” It can be overwhelming at times, Karten said. She spoke about how she feels a pressure to keep followers engaged with new content and designs, and so far she seems to be highly successful. Alumni, tertiary connections, and complete strangers have all ordered from her site. The success of her Instagram page (@ quaranbeads_) has inspired her to expand to other commercial platforms. But it’s not just about the jewelry for Karten. There are other social justice components. She hopes that the customizations customers request reminds them of pre-quarantine times. Hopefully, they can be reminded of those positive memories when they wear the piece. Additionally, 20% of all profits go to help local COVID-19 efforts in Karten’s hometown. While she is waiting for a larger fund to donate all at once, Karten’s profits go directly to those in need.

Unlike the other designers, Simon Goldman is not a Northwestern student. He is a local designer and a rising Sophomore at Pratt Institute for Design in New York. Simon also has been able to capitalize on shifting quarantine styles to produce his own line of face masks that he sells, like Julia Karten, on Instagram. Designers no longer require brand name houses to support them, an Instagram page alone is enough, claims Goldman, they have the ability to work from home. Goldman has reinvented the proverbial face-mask wheel with his design. A friend of Goldman’s mentioned how the medical-grade masks caught on his glasses. There was a binary option between protection and comfort. Instead of elastic straps for the ears, he added a paracord with elastic stoppers. The face mask itself is made of a breathable fabric. When asked about his design process, Simon said “I wanted my clothing to be ubiquitous and something non-prohibitive. I wanted to make something" that was quotidian. Although, the universality of his masks did not prevent creativity. . Simon has a collection of masks that range in material from corduroy to bandana. Also similar to Julia Karten, Goldman does not collect 100% profit from the masks. He donates a large portion, the exact percentage went unspecified, to help

LGBTQ+ artists in Chicago. This cause resonated to him because back in New York, a lot of designer’s have been suffering due to the cancellation of Fashion Week and the drop in retail sales. Goldman was able to shed more light on this subject. He said that many small designers who have strong collections but depend on private sales have been pushed out of the market. Already hierarchical and ruthless, the combined pressures of the fashion industry and this economic downturn have made it impossible for designers to be profitable. Goldman said that as a result of this crisis more designers have been previewing their collections on Amazon in an attempt to garner any commercial revenue for their brand. Despite never being a fashion mainstay, it appears that Amazon has been able to become an integral part of the fashion industry via this dilemma. We would be remiss to not make something out of quarantine. Whether that be using an 11 year old sewing kit, trying out a new painting style, or raising money for various causes dear to us, we have been given the chance to explore and create. We aren’t creating our magnum opus, but we are experimenting with passion. Like Shakespeare said in his quarantine work King Lear “We that are young / Shall never see so much, nor live so long.” • JUNE 2020

RE F R

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Quarantine has caused a distortion of space, changing our perspectives on the world and ourselves as if we are looking through a glass

â€˘ JUNE 2020

Photoshoot Directors: Sara Gronich, Sarah Loper Photographers: Wyatt Morris, Trin Collins, Grace Deng, Sara Gronich Models: Wyatt Morris, Trin Collins, Grace Deng, Sara Gronich Desgined by Margeaux Rocco

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by Giovana Gelhoren designed by Quynh-Nhi Tran

in the time of coronavirus

The day online classes were announced, I panicked. Should I go back to Brazil and risk not getting back for the rest of spring? Should I stay here in Evanston to be safe? Should I move out of my dorm? Gabriel, my boyfriend, who’s also Brazilian, aware of this new spiral of mine, told me that he’d be with me wherever I was, whether that was Evanston, Rio de Janeiro or anywhere in between. That same day, I packed a big black suitcase with my comfiest hoodies and sweatpants, made the three-minute trek to his apartment from Plex and officially moved into his apartment for the first time. Soon enough, we developed a routine. Our days were busy with competitive Gin Rummy tournaments, Betty Crocker brownies and watching House M.D. from the beginning. We would paint our nails together and I’d constantly steal his clothes. We’d been dating for more than a year, but we’d never been that close, 24/7 close, to be exact. Many other couples find themselves in a similar situation during this pandemic. Going back home to family at this time is not the obvious answer for everyone. A multitude of factors play a role into a college student’s decision on where to isolate right now. At Northwestern alone, 5% of students (or approximately 200 students) have decided to stay on campus for the foreseeable future. Many of those who didn’t return to their families have taken this opportunity to live with their girlfriends, boyfriends and partners for the first time ever.

Gia Yetikyel & David Isaacs For Gia Yetikyel and David Isaacs, it was the quarantine itself that made them an “official” couple. “Quarantine really gave us a lot of extra time to sit with our problems, both in our own heads and with each other,” Isaacs said. Since their start after a “surprisingly successful” Tinder match in November, the duo had been taking it slow under with the curated label of “friends with benefits premium.” Yetikyel came over to Isaacs’s

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apartment often for just about any reason. “Even after a party, I didn’t go home, I came here,” she said. But though Yetikyel found it natural to come to Isaacs’s off-campus apartment most days of the week, she never considered his place to be her home. But when her sorority house closed indefinitely during NU’s extended spring break, Yetikyel’s place of refuge became Isaacs’ apartment. Given her father’s heart condition and the fact that her family lives in New York City (the coronavirus epicenter of the US), Yetikyel knew that moving into Isaacs’ offcampus apartment was the best option for her and her family. Besides the initial tension between Isaacs and his roommates about whether or not Yetikyel could become a permanent roommate, Yetikyel soon became an “official” resident. Yetikyel and Isaacs took this time to deal with problems in their relationship that they hadn’t acknowledged before. The couple recalls a moment in the beginning of quarantine where they were lying in the living room’s fuzzy, grey carpet at around 4a.m. and they started opening up about frustrations they had bottled up in the past. They talked about issues like their tendencies to hide their feelings and to not communicate with each other. “It was an important and necessary conversation we’d never had before,” Yetikyel said. And, as they began to understand and listen to each other, Yetikyel acted “like a fucking puppy” dancing her feet into the air in excitement. All the “dirty laundry” was out there for them to work and improve on, they agreed to work on everything that had once frustrated them. When they kissed, Yetikyel said that “it felt like the first time he ever kissed me.”

Skye Li & Xanh Quang

The couple Skye Li and Xanh Quang moved into Quang’s family’s home in Chicago after both of their spring break plans were canceled. Li, whose family is from Shanghai, knew this would mean moving in with his family, but she also had no place to stay besides

her dorm. “I'm lucky to have a really nice place to stay with a boyfriend and his family and they cook for me,” she said. Living with her boyfriend’s family did bring some initial tension. “His mom is scary and intimidating, and that is true by itself, but in my culture I'm conditioned to be scared of my mother-in-law,” Li said. At first, Li would not ask his mother for anything and would ask Quang to do and ask things for her at the risk of feeling “dumb.” That initial awkwardness, however, has improved since then: “I even found similarities between us and I think we're both pretty crazy even sometimes in the same way, whenever Xanh sees the resemblance between his mom and me I just think that's so funny,” Li said. For Quang, Li is anything but a burden for him and his family. “I have a queen-sized bed and so she just sleeps here,” he said, “she wouldn’t take up much space that I normally would.” And, while Quang’s mother does most of the cooking, Li also helps out in the kitchen, with chores or even gets Quang some food whenever he’s too stressed with online classes. And, though Quang knows his family is “very loving” and “well-meaning,” he is not a big fan of going back home and regressing to old family dynamics. “Skye’s just physical presence is a very helpful buffer for how it could be. So I'm very grateful for that,” Quang said.

college love

it’s more modern and fancy with a trash shoot and laundry in the apartment,” Wolfrid said. Ueki recalls a day that Wolfrid went back to his apartment to “grab a button-up shirt” and returned with a suitcase full of clothes, an ironing board, an iron and a chair. “I’m not denying him the right to have clothes here but he doesn’t need to bring all of them,” said Ueki. Though the couple has since reached a compromise on how to share the space together, Ueki said “He started bringing stuff here and I got annoyed because it’s a studio so there’s not a lot of space here.” Their schedules have also made it convenient to have online classes together. Given their “almost perfectly aligned classes,” they take their classes sitting side-by-side. Though seating arrangements will most likely have to change during the summer because of confidential information from their respective consulting firms, both are confident in their decision to live together. “I’m even thinking of buying a noise-cancelling microphone from when we start working,” Wolfrid said, “I might sound a little robotic but it might help for them not to hear her.”

Couples in quarantine definitely help each other through this difficult and uncertain time.

Daniella Ueki & Luis Wolfrid For Daniella Ueki and Luis Wolfrid, living together through this time was the most convenient solution for both. With Ueki’s family in Canada and Wolfrid’s in São Paulo, both of them knew it would be challenging to go their separate ways for the quarter, especially given that they have guaranteed internships in Chicago for the summer. Instead, Ueki pushed up the lease on her apartment for next year and decided to move out of her dorm and into her new studio-apartment during finals’ week. For Wolfrid, “the biggest memories are the heavy things we carried'' during that move. Wolfrid also moved into her apartment even though his own is only a few blocks away. “We don’t have roommates here which is nice and

For Gabriel and I, it feels good to know that we’re from the same place even though we can’t physically be there right now. We speak Portuguese, we keep up with the same news, we sing the same Tiago Iorc song when we wake up. We learn recipes to fulfill our cravings for Brazilian classics like empadão, pastel and coxinha. We make our own Brazil, our own Rio, even though we’re cooped up in his apartment in Evanston. When, in the middle of a zoom call, my mom texted me that my favorite high school teacher was hospitalized, Gabriel knew exactly how I felt. As the tears streamed down my face the moment I clicked “Video Off,” he knew the distance I felt from my hometown, he knew how connected I was to my high school, he knew the pain of feeling so distant from home that it feels like you’re never there. He made me feel better, he made me feel safe and calm. We can relate to each other in this time more than I could ever hope for.

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Last Word:

I Quarantined My Hair by Eli Gordon Designed by Ashley Xu

It came home brown and wavy. Like it had been for however many years I’ve been old enough to style it like I would my mood: casual, and cool. In fifth grade it exuded the Justin Bieber confidence my peers so jealously dreamed of. On my gap year, last year, per usual, it grew out to the perfect man bun, a look that displayed the carefree, soft-smile vibe I felt myself in the entire time I was away. Most of the year was spent in Jerusalem, but every few months we’d travel. My man bun accompanied me from India to Italy, flowing with pride the entire way. Comfortably spending my parents’ money to post on Instagram with international internet charges, anything to flex the bun, no? But six weeks ago, just being sent home from school, and being shipped off with my sister— who’d flown home from New Orleans — to a house my parents owned in the mountains for two weeks to quarantine, my mood was anything but casual and cool. This can’t be happening, this can’t be happening, repeated in enraged chants in my head the first days out of school. The glorious, finally-spring-time end of my first year in college, gone. The people I’d yet to have that one more meaningful conversation with to cement our relationship, the parties, the prospects. I held my breath. My plans for the summer. I was going abroad, the promise of a messy bun. The frustrations of a privileged teenager, stuck back into suburbia right as he was able to escape.

And so, with my casual and cool mood out the window, the brown and wavy seemed a less than representative show. It felt like a lie, and also, an escape. It started with a simple cut, about a week in. My sister’s girlfriend — who’d fled with us into the mountains, and who thankfully had been cutting her own hair since she was a teenager — cut and trimmed the sides of my head until you could notice a difference. A difference, nothing major. And then, it began, again. The mirror popping up and pulling me in more often than it’d usually been, constantly looking at my hair, myself, this isn’t you, you need another change. It had been a week since the first cut, and already I was growing tired. Too many hours with nothing to do but rethink and makeover, even for no one to see. Manifesting my confusion and panic in watching and then rewatching Dua Lipa’s new music videos. That two-toned bleach hair, oh, to die for. I needed it, I wanted it, if I had it, would I too have flawless skin and social distance with Anwar Hadid in some posh London apartment? This time, more extreme measures needed to be taken against my image, that a cut just wouldn’t do. I needed a bleach. Not just any bleach, but a two toned, Dua Lipa style bold-in-your-face look. A ‘do that could be posted on Instagram to the thoughts of many, thinking, yeah, he’s lost it, but in a

"The glorious, finally-spring-time end of my first year in college, gone. The people I’d yet to have that one moremeaningfulconversationwithto cement ourrelationship, the parties, the prospects."

• JUNE 2020

"I’dfinallyreturnedtowhereI’d started out, I’d been styled to mymood.Onlynow,thatmood being crazed, and absurd." fun wawwy, like, he’s getting through this with style. Well, as if you hadn’t already gotten this, I wasn’t, but the fifty dollar bottle of professional bleach I purchased under the nose of my Mom’s Amazon Prime account was about to say otherwise. My sister and her girlfriend cramped around me in the upstairs bathroom as I waited the forty minutes after rubbing the bleach through my natural, confused brunette strands, they had no idea what was coming. Only on the top half, only like Dua. I’m sure I’m good enough at knowing hair to figure this out. Just make it look like it’s unnatural but in a natural way, eh? But that it wasn’t. No, it was floppy, and chopped, and stark, and a bunch of other words to describe how my hair now looked like I had dipped the top half in neon orange paint. Only the top half. I forgot to buy the shampoo you’re supposed to put in afterwards that accounted for the brassiness and turned the orange to silver. I forget, of course, and was left with half a fruit on my head. And, yes, as my hair was descending into chaos, so too was my mood. Or maybe it’s what led me to such a fateful place, if I’m being honest, too delusional in my isolated state to think maybe it wasn’t a good idea to base my masterpiece off a celebrity who clearly had an actual professional perform the makeover. One who didn’t forget the shampoo afterwards. While mine was DIY, and scary, and sad. There went my edgy-chic Instagram post, my Hail Mary into doing this stay-at-home thing with style. Stupid idea, that the torture chamber of my anxious thoughts with only myself around to tell the difference between smart and grotesque, could produce such pop star level glamor. It seemed that now, or then, three weeks ago, half my head of hair on fire, I’d finally returned to where I’d started out, I’d been styled to my mood. Only now, that mood being crazed, and absurd. For two weeks I walked around my house, and my Zoom classes, with my head burrowed beneath a hat, or a hoodie, or just the dark, anything to hide

my monster. Only close friends seeing the disaster I created through FaceTime, or anxious snapchats, please don’t judge me, or in a way to at least make myself quirky out of all of this, quarantine really knows how to fuck with my head, literally. And then, after weeks of thinking, and over thinking, how do I get out this mess? I pulled the razor out of my Dad’s bathroom drawer, and shaved it all off. It was finally gone, my orange nightmare. But the bigger one, the one that started this spiral into almost baldness in the first place, still so ever present. Just nowhere else to go, at least on the top of my head anyway. Where else can I take out this anxiety? Maybe my room, I always wondered what it’d be like painted black.

• JUNE 2020