The Wellness Issue

no. 35

January 2018

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table of contents

03 masthead 04 contributors 05 editors' letter 06 pleasures Beat the winter blues with this STITCH guide to staying in, stylishly

08 faces + spaces: Amanda David Explore how a Northwestern sophomore practices wellness as a spinning instructor 10 faces of wellness Take a peek into how these students perceive and practice wellness amidst the stresses of Northwestern

16 the thin ideal One STITCH writer discusses beauty standards and reflects on her recovery from anorexia nervosa 18 fit to fight Move over, fuzzy slippers. This shoot gives wellness a hardcore edge by flirting with fierce athleisure looks that spell confidence without sacrificing style

28 spare moments This shoot takes ultimate relaxation to sophisticated heights with soft, romantic hues and silky fabrics 36 last word: take it from me

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Wh

at is way your fa v to r elax orite ?

CO-EDITORS IN CHIEF Amber Cline and Rachel Lefferts MANAGING EDITOR Emily Ash CREATIVE DIRECTOR Renée Jacoby

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My daily Pure Barre class

SENIOR EDITOR Christian Welch TREASURER Kay Veikos

Hugging the nearest person in

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CO-DESIGN EDITORS Rachel Price and Angela Cheng

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sh’s Sleep y body lo tion before go ing to be d

DESIGN TEAM Birdy O’Conor, Jessie Paridis, Aysha Salter-Volz, Sumin You, Matt Casler, Cindy Luan, Crystal Gong, Katherine Steiner, Ariela Deleon, Kathy Duan, Michela Ferrari

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rou sks that I b Sheet ma to Japan ip tr from my

PRINT EDITOR Rachel Burns INTERIM PRINT EDITOR Haley Glazer

A hot cup

INTERIM ONLINE EDITOR Eden Lichterman

of tea, fu

zzy socks

, and goo

d music

STAFF WRITERS Isabel Seidel, Monty Nelson, Emily Chaiet, Ivy Li, Lexi Schiff, Emily Wang, Sofia Sanchez, Mia Hirsch, Jean Sanders, Rachel Orbach, Lily Pace, Alex Dickey

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y nails, jo urnaling, to keep u and tryin p with th g e Kardash ians

CO-DIRECTORS OF PHOTOSHOOTS Sage Ressler and Nina Wescott DIRECTOR OF ONLINE PHOTOSHOOTS Helena Kalman STYLING TEAM Rachel Gradone, Jane Carpenter, Erica Cantor, Sam Milstein, Brianna Bilter, Emily Burns, Anya Joseph, Finn Hewes, Michelle Lujan, Elizabeth Zhang, Lilliana Graham, Sanchita Sen, Joyce D’Aprile

in the or bakery ffee shop co a to d g n frie Goin ith a good morning w

CO-PHOTOGRAPHY EDITORS Melissa Cagan and Charli Hu STAFF PHOTOGRAPHERS Katherine Sprengel, Michelle Yun, Louis Lu, Jonathan Dai, Luke Kleekamp, Jodie Wei, Elliot Nick, Mai Schotz, Caroline Ward, Ellie Levine, Paris Wang, Rachel Mendelson

FaceTime a friend

DIRECTOR OF MULTIMEDIA Kayla Reardon

Naps

MULTIMEDIA TEAM Emily Orr, Zoe Juanitas, Sydney Stein, Gabrielle Silva, Gibran Wirjawan, Anna White, Karam Hansen, Neil Chin, Maria Valencia, Talley Morton, Louisa Oreskes CO-DIRECTORS OF CORPORATE Hannah Curcio and Danielle Cohen

A long bubble bath with candles , essential oils, and bath salts

CORPORATE TEAM Juliet Sage, Alexandra Menell, Sydney Agus, Haley Rolff, Phoebe Chase, Ruth Teklu, Vy Duong, Andie Steinberg, Joley Schneider, Linda Zhang, Samantha LiVigni, Aditi Agarwal SOCIAL MEDIA DIRECTOR Samuel Maude

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SOCIAL MEDIA TEAM Brooke Delaney, Macon Bianucci, Ridley Rochell, Courtney Schaf, Emma Kluever, Zoe Grossinger, Stella Kleynerman, Blaine Duffy, Christine Marella DIRECTOR OF RECRUITMENT Patricia Tang

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contributors Emily Wang Scotch Plains, NJ + Freshman, Staff Writer + Major: Violin Performance + Favorite “treat yourself” product: Green tea ice cream + Favorite spot on campus: My bed + Wellness advice you’d give yourself: Everything is temporary!

Bad times come and go.

Finn Hewes Gulfport, MS + Freshman, Styling Team + Major: RTVF + Favorite “treat yourself” product: Candles + Favorite spot on campus: Norbucks + Wellness advice you’d give yourself: Make sure you get enough sleep!

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Jonathan Dai Los Altos Hills, CA + Sophomore, Staff Photographer + Major: Mechanical Engineering + Favorite “treat yourself” product: Boba + Favorite spot on campus: 6th Floor Lincoln Lounge + Wellness advice you’d give yourself: Work out and eat healthy!

Christine Marella San Jose, CA + Junior, Social Media Team + Major: Learning and Organizational Change + Favorite “treat yourself” product: Sanoflore rose water face mist + Favorite spot on campus: The Lakefill + Wellness advice you’d give yourself: Write in your journal every morning!

editors' letter

Homemade meals, clean sheets, no homework—winter break is welcomed every year as the perfect antidote to the mental and physical exhaustion that inevitably results from 10 weeks at Northwestern. So coming back to campus to do it all over again, albeit with the weather about 20 degrees colder, can be daunting; the idea of going into a three-month long hibernation looks better and better with each gray day. At a time like this, perhaps the notion of wellness seems far away, but that is when it’s most important to discuss.

In creating our Winter Wellness Issue, STITCH explored the question: what is wellness? In talking to students and experts about their personal definitions of wellness, we learned a few things. Wellness is not an expensive face mask or a bubble bath with that new LUSH bath bomb, or even a cup of herbal tea.

It can be those things—our cover shoot epitomizes this kind of luxurious relaxation—but wellness can also be about something so much greater. It’s about listening to yourself, being kind to yourself, and making choices every day that maximize happiness.

But it’s important to note that wellness is not something that happens—it’s an ongoing process that may look different for each person at different points in time. And importantly, our wellness theme in no way counteracts the fact that it’s okay not to be okay all the time.

As you flip through these pages, you’ll encounter a plethora of perspectives on what it means to be pursuing wellness. One STITCH writer gives us a personal account of how Northwestern Professor Renee Engeln’s concept of “beauty sickness” has resonated with her own battle with anorexia (p. 26). Another writer looks at the ethics of the $3.4 trillion wellness industry, which could be said to capitalize on vulnerabilities (p. 16). “Faces of Wellness” profiles Northwestern students about their personal journeys with wellness, including everything from their feel-good outfits to advice they’d give themselves when struggling (p. 6). We hope this issue encourages you to think about your own definition of and quest for wellness. Take a breath. Reflect. Keep going.

xx Amber and Rachel Co-Editors In Chief

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pleasures pleasures Winter weather calls for cozy sweaters, warm drinks, and lots of quality time spent on the couch with friends and family. Beat the winter blues with this STITCH guide to staying in, stylishly

By Alex Dickey

Sweater, Jean Pierre, Cotton Cable-Knit Sweater, $70, macys.com There is no better way to keep cozy during the winter than a sweater, and no better way to stay peppy than with bright colors.

It's like a hug you can wear!

Hot Cocoa, NestlĂŠ, Rich Chocolate Hot Cocoa Mix, $11, amazon.com Hot chocolate is so many wonderful things: warm, delicious, portable, and cheap. There's nothing like watching the snow fall with a cup of cocoa.

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Movie, Hollywood Home Video While You Were Sleeping, $4, amazon.com A classic romantic comedy and quality winter film, this quirky movie was one of Sandra Bullock's first big hits.

This movie includes a cat, the city of Chicago, fun grandparents, mashed potatoes and lots of warm-hearted affection. Perfect for snowy weather.

Fuzzy Socks, Kohl's, Penguin Slipper Socks, $10, kohls.com Tired of walking around in boring normal socks or slides? Try these. Festive enough to impress your dorm or apartment, and warm enough to wear under your snow boots for a bit of secret winter cheer. What's not to like?

Scarf, H&M, Airy Scarf, $12, hm.com Scarves are functional and fashionable. Pro-tip: some scarves can also be used as blankets, which, if you ask me, is the ultimate measure of an article of clothing. I actually have this exact scarf/blanket, and it's becoming a regular part of my winter wardrobe. Since I can't lend it to all of you, go out and get your own.

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S E C A P S + S E C D I FA V A

A

D A D D R A N W E MA CAROLIN

R E H P A R G O T O H P / E C A P Y L I

BY L

By Lilly Pace • JANUARY 2018 8 by Caroline Ward Photos

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Passion. Strength. Movement is meditation. Raise the bar. These are the words scribbled on the walls of the downtown Evanston Cyclebar lobby. Moving into the indoor cycling studio, bikes are uniformly lined up under dim red lighting. A bright spotlight shines on a single bike in the front and center of the room. On this stationary bike is the place where Northwestern sophomore Amanda David, a Learning and Organizational Change major from Winnetka, Ill., practices wellness.

David rests on a spin bike to the right side of the studio, pedaling slowly, while sharing how she found her passion for practicing wellness through cycling.

This passion for cycling, only recent, stemmed from a need to search for what she missed about playing sports in her past. A member of highly competitive field hockey and soccer teams in high school, David admits that deciding not to play sports at Northwestern was challenging.

“Even though I worked out and played club soccer, I definitely felt like I missed a piece of--not necessarily physically because I was working out a lot--but I definitely missed a mental aspect of sports and really being part of a team, which is something I had my whole life,” she says.

In her search for the mental aspect of

fitness that she missed, during the spring of her freshman year, David decided to train to become a spin instructor and to create a student-based class where “girls and guys come in and work together and get a really good workout, but also feel good about themselves and have fun while they are doing it.”

Being able to make the riders feel good about themselves with her classes, and therefore influencing their physical and mental health, is one of David’s favorite parts about her job.

“A lot of people have told me that they felt so good walking out of my class and a lot of people have told me (whether they mean it or not, because it is working out and everyone hates working out) that they really felt good about themselves,” she says.

In between club soccer, her sorority, Dance Marathon, and volunteering with College Mentors for Kids, David has still continued to teach her own classes at Cyclebar on the weekends and once or twice during the week. These classes are time-consuming not only during their allotted 50 minutes in the studio, but also during the pre-planning of creating new playlists for every class, learning the music and setting up lights. Although planning for and teaching her classes takes up a lot

of her free time, David insists that her spin classes are not a chore.

To further practice her own personal wellness, David, along with teaching spin classes and playing club soccer, works out at SPAC every day, because without working out she feels “so off mentally.”

Along with working out, David also attributes a large part of her wellness to getting the right amount of sleep.

“I like to go to bed really early and wake up really early and be productive with my day,” David explains. “I think in general my well-being has to do with sleep and working out and that puts me in a good mindset when I wake up for the day.”

As she strongly believes in the importance of physical and mental health, David even prioritizes her sleep at the expense of jokes from her friends.

“My friends all make fun of me and think I am a grandma,” David laughs.

“Like it is 10:30 and if you text me I am not gonna respond because I am asleep.”

Overall, with wellness as her top priority, the addition of her Cyclebar job has only positively enhanced David’s day-today life.

“It is something I love doing, so it has only impacted me in a positive way because I am finally doing something that I am very passionate about,” she says.

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Take a peek into how these students perceive and practice wellness amidst the stress of Northwestern

FACES OF WELLNESS

By Emily

Zach Schroeder

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Wang

Year: Senior // Major: Theatre & Psychology // Hometown: Minneapolis, MN What is your favorite “feel-good” outfit? Farming overalls paired with a long knee-length shirt with the same pattern as the seats in a Megabus: the 1994 Windows screensaver look. When you have a really bad day, what are some things you do to cope? Reaching out to people — human connection is the thing that will make you feel less like garbage. It is important to be brave enough to reach out and ask for someone to listen. What are some of the things you’ve learned through your journey with wellness? The stigma around mental health is very persistent. We live in a society that is built around the dichotomy between “diagnosed crazies” and people who are “fine.” However, mental health is not just for people who are mentally ill. Therapy is like going to the gym—the gym is not just for people who need to lose weight and therapy is not just for people who are diagnosably mentally ill. How has your perception of wellness changed over the years? My tagline is that “everybody is valid, everyone’s emotional experiences are valid, if someone is suffering it does not mean no one else in the world is suffering.” Playing the game of “I am suffering more than you,” makes everyone feels worse and less connected. You are having your experience, I am having my experience, our experiences are connected because we’re friends, and that’s fine. How has Northwestern affected your wellness? The theatre world is explicit in ranking and it forces theatre majors to address the fact that you are competing for things. Northwestern can feel Game of Thrones-y, but someone else achieving a victory does not mean you are losing out. It is more like Scooby Doo chase sequences. Doors are always opening and closing.

Hannah Dion-Kirschner

Year: Senior // Major: Horn Performance & Environmental Science, Earth Science minor // Hometown: Milwaukee, WI What is your favorite “feel-good” outfit? Fuzzy plush leggings for a long day—pants that will make me feel like I’m in bed. When you have a really bad day, what are some things you do to cope? Reaching out to people like my best friends, boyfriend or sister. But sometimes I just need a hug or some alone time.

What is your personal journey with wellness? In high school, I never pushed myself too hard and never addressed the need for wellness. Fall of sophomore year, I got burnout from trying to get A’s and I was overexerted and overcommitted. I felt guilty when I was not being productive because free time had to be spent on practicing or studying. However, that type of thinking is harmful mentally, emotionally, academically and musically.

Now, I am deliberately aware of feelings. I check up with myself and practice not pushing feelings down. What are some of the things you have learned through your journey with wellness? I have learned to focus on gradual improvement as opposed to overall result. I have learned to practice the same compassion with myself as I do with others, to not beat myself up, be overly harsh or demanding of myself, or have judgmental feelings towards myself. Having a support system is so important, just as it’s important to be open. Don’t feel like a burden to others when opening up.

Christopher Mayorga

Year: Sophomore // Major: Learning Sciences & Latina/o Studies // Hometown: Worthington, MN What is your personal journey with wellness? In high school, the overall stress led to a rift in mental health, so I had to take a break and assess what I was doing. I ended up going to professional therapy and had to think about things I really wanted to prioritize. In college, I had tools to work with and I continued to apply them to myself, but I also realized that there is a need for a campus-wide or club-wide way to address these topics. As the wellness chair of QUEST (Questbridge Scholars Network), I try to encourage a dialogue about wellness and be a resource for stress or mental health related information.

What is wellness to you? Wellness is something that you do everyday and it is personal, like making sure I’m paying attention to myself and taking care of myself. It is also social, in asking people how they are doing in a genuine way and making sure to follow up the conversation. How has NU affected your wellness? I read a New York Times article about social isolation, which I found relates to Northwestern. We find ourselves being around people somehow, but it’s not the same as actually getting support. Isolation is the red light of someone’s wellness—the longer the isolation is, the harder it is to come out. It’s important to open up to others while supporting the people around us.

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Kimani Breana Isaac Year: Sophomore // Major: Undecided // Hometown: New York, NY What is your favorite “feel-good” outfit? I wear comfy sweaters that I look good in.

I love jewelry so I try to wear that a ton as a quick pick-me-up. I do my eyeliner and curl my lashes and wear mascara if I am really trying to feel put together.

And I love boots! I love combat boots. I feel kickass in them. What are some of the things you’ve learned through your journey with wellness? Listen to my body when it tells me enough is enough. I know where my wall of “I cannot get any more work done tonight” is. What is wellness to you?

Wellness is feeling good. It is feeling rested, at peace, confident and satisfied.

How has your perception of wellness changed over the years? I guess I used to think wellness was simply living a life I enjoyed. Now it is making time for myself and my body to get what it needs while I live an enjoyable life. I like to be busy, but I go overboard very easily. I am trying to learn to manage my impulses. What would you tell yourself during a time when you were struggling? Write it out. Archive the pain in some work of art and then get some sleep if you are tired. Talk it over with a friend. You do not deserve to feel like crap. How has Northwestern affected your wellness? In some respects it has made me busier. However, my sleep schedule being all over the place is nothing new to me. It is more that now I just have a clear picture of how badly I need to get my sleep.

Seri Lee Year: Sophomore // Major: Global History & Comparative Race and Ethnic Studies, Spanish minor // Hometown: Chicago suburbs, IL What is your favorite “feel-good” outfit? I think fashion is and should be more acknowledged as a legitimate practice of wellness. Fashion is perceived as frivolous and superficial, but I see it as radical. I perform a lot of my queerness through the things I wear and it makes me feel full, especially when I get compliments about my ‘fit. I really feel like myself when I am the perfect balance between masculine and femme but still in a way that makes me feel comfortable. What are some of the things you have learned through your journey with wellness? Vulnerability and selfreflection are so important. Opening yourself up to the people close to you is really scary—and laying yourself bare to your own self is scarier tenfold. Learning how to sit down in a silent room with me and my thoughts, thinking about why I am where I am emotionally and mentally, and deconstructing my insecurities, anxieties and fears were really valuable to me. Realizing I am queer last year definitely helped me to feel more comfortable in my body and I do not think that would have happened had I not sat down with myself and unpacked who I was. What is wellness to you? It is an ongoing practice. I schedule every hour of my day, but I make sure I set aside a few hours when I can decompress and practice self-care.

At the same time, I am also responsive to my personal needs. If that means I go to sleep at 8 PM and do all my work in the morning, then I do that. How has your perception of wellness changed over the years? Self-care, especially when you’re a person of color and/ or queer, is radical! Valuing and prioritizing all aspects of health— physical, emotional, and mental—is really important.

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Rebecca Lazer

Zhesi Zhuang

Year: Senior // Major: Political Science & Global Health Studies // Hometown: Pennington, NJ What is your favorite “feel-good” outfit? When I am having a bad day, I typically put more time and effort into my hair and makeup because it helps me to take time to think about myself. The process of putting on make up helps me because I try to be mindful not to let the stress of a bad day weigh on me while I am doing it. What are some of the things you have learned through your journey with wellness? It is okay to put yourself first. I feel like a lot of the time we encourage people to be everything for everyone else. I feel like being okay is almost a prerequisite to function in other areas of your life. What is wellness to you? This sounds a little corny, but I honestly see wellness as a way of life. It is a goal which I use to orient my actions and behaviors, something to keep me moving forward. It is so much more than being “healthy” physically, mentally, socially etc. It is really the intersection of all areas of life and how effectively these areas work together. I never really think of myself as well or unwell, but I can act positively towards my wellness. It is a state that is constantly changing and there is no universal right or wrong. I think it is really important for students at Northwestern to ask themselves this question and feel empowered to define wellness for themselves. It really does look different for everyone in my experience. What would you tell yourself during a time when you were struggling? I try to adopt a non-judgemental attitude where I can recognize what I am feeling, but do not judge myself for feeling it. It is when you focus on feelings and emotions that they turn into moods, so accepting them without holding onto them has been super helpful for me. I tell myself to “ride the wave” and try to validate my own feelings and emotions through the recognition.

Year: Freshman // Major: Communication Studies & Biology // Hometown: Orange County, CA What is your favorite “feel-good” outfit? I have a signature hairstyle that looks like a bean sprout (it is a little ponytail really high on my head) that I wear when I feel lazy and it makes me feel better. What are some of the things you have learned through your journey with wellness? A lot of things are outside of my control. If I dwell on it too much, I get more frustrated and feel more powerless. Life keeps going.

What is wellness to you? It is an amalgamation of different things, from spiritual to mental to physical to emotional. I cannot have only one type of wellness; instead, I try to get all of them. How has your perception of wellness changed over the years?

I have learned to focus on myself. Two years ago I started to practice meditation and mindfulness, and through that I have understood that a big part of wellness is giving time to myself. What would you tell yourself during a time when you were struggling? What you do at the moment, like competition results, do not define your self worth. Do not let those objects, those intangible things define you. How has Northwestern affected your wellness? I have gotten comfortable with being told “no.” In the past, everything worked out, so when I came into this new environment I wanted to try new things and be confident. However, I got rejected from a lot of clubs, but I realized that the rejections do not take away from my self worth. Little things are just little things. In the end, these rejections made me stronger.

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Welln

As college students try out the latest diet and fitness trends in pursuit of healthier lifestyles, judgment often takes the place of support By Mia Hirsch Before a night out, it was commonplace for my group text with my best friends to become flooded with restaurant suggestions. Over the years, we experimented with various types of food, indulging in everything from nice steak houses to trendy hole-in-the-walls to grab-and-go take out. As freshmen in high school, we were not too concerned with health, so a routine visit

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to California Pizza Kitchen (CPK) usually involved big bowls of buttered pasta (kid’s menu for life) or a personal pizza. However, as time went on and the clean eating and fitness trend gained traction, our previously lighthearted and fun dinners grew exceedingly tense.

The health craze created a divide among my friends. Our jovial neighborhood CPK became a battleground in which calorie counts were king. At home, my mother had begun working out with a personal trainer, and soon after, she abruptly switched to a paleo diet per his instruction. As the only cook in our family, she transitioned our entire household to adopt this low-carb, high-protein meal plan, leading to the swift removal of all processed foods and grains from our pantry, refrigerator and even our bedrooms. In a very short span of time, health and fitness changed from an afterthought to the paramount focus of my everyday life.

For me, going paleo and joining millions in pursuit of a healthier lifestyle made a positive impact on my mind and body.

However, it was not easy to express this feeling to my friends that struggled to understand my desire to live healthier. They picked up on even the tiniest alterations in my eating habits with their hawk-like hyper-awareness. When waiters came to take our order, a perceptible aura of tension fell over the group; no one wanted to order first for fear of over-ordering. Everyone was curious what substitutions I might make to lighten the calorie load.

Additionally, as my eating habits changed, I felt a drive to

ness experiment with personal fitness. After trying various workouts, I developed a love of pilates and cycling. However, my commitment to attending these classes received even more criticism than my clean eating. Though many girls at school visited the same studios, my daily attendance marked me as “obsessed” with working out while they were just “staying fit.” Tired of all the admonishments, I made an effort to attend workouts at off times to avoid running into anyone I knew. I became friends with many of my pilates instructors that assumed I was in college because I never came to the studio with the high school girls.

After a while, I began to wonder why my methods of self-care made me a target for criticism. People associated my daily workouts and consistent clean eating with obsession and disorder, expressing worried concern for my wellbeing. I was confused. How was my interpretation of health somehow condemned and theirs was accepted? Many times at our tense friend-dinners I ate more than others that picked at pasta while I finished a protein-filled salad. Oftentimes after working out I consumed large meals or smoothies while my friends sipped on water.

I responded defensively to the probing questions of my peers, which often felt more judgemental than concerned. However, I soon realized that the problem was not in their derision itself, but in the cause of it: a deeply ingrained, flawed association with health.

Society teaches us to associate health with a desire for change.

Eating clean or portioning food indicates that you must be trying to lose weight. Doing cardio or lifting weights means you probably want to appear leaner, thinner, stronger or more toned.

There is no denying the validity of these common assumptions about healthy habits: health can lead to physical change and many people that take up a new workout or diet seek purely visual benefits. However, this is not the only reason to be healthy and many people tend to either miss or discount the other equally significant reasons.

Studies have shown that exercise provides substantial mental health benefits, even suggesting that exercise can treat mild to moderate depression in the same manner as an antidepressant.

Additionally, working out can be a great way to relieve anxiety by

soothing your muscles and boost your mood by releasing endorphins. Nutritionally, researchers have found that a deficiency in Vitamin B can cause depression and a lack of omega-3 fatty acids can limit cognitive function.

For me, I truly enjoy being healthy because of the way it makes me feel. I notice a significant difference in my energy levels after a day of clean eating versus a day of carbo-loading and bingeing on sweets. I have my cheat days every once in awhile, and that temporary happiness of eating cake, cookies, or ice cream reminds me of the long term joy I feel when I eat healthy. Additionally, after a grueling SoulCycle class, I feel truly accomplished and elated. The mental health benefits of group exercise constantly assure me that the $30 I spend on a workout is money well spent.

In the end, it is important to remember that true friends want

"[In pursuit of a healthier lifestyle] I began to wonder why my methods of selfcare made me a target for criticism" to see each other happy. Still, when struggling with body image as many of us do, it can be difficult to distinguish a healthy lifestyle for the sake of joy from one for the sake of image. I know that many girls feel competitive when it comes to nutrition and exercise, but if we focused more on the mental benefits rather than the physical, I do not think that this competition would have as strong of a presence in our everyday lives. For me, the most important thing is to understand that everyone has a different reason for living healthfully, and instead of assuming the worst or criticizing, we should instead seek happiness for ourselves and others.

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thin

the

One STITCH writer reflects on her recovery from anorexia nervosa and how the media and fashion industry place pressure on all women to conform to the thin beauty ideal

W

hen I was fourteen years old, I remember sitting in my room watching and re-watching Victoria’s Secret Fashion Shows. I remember idolizing the Angels’ long, lean legs, their perfectly toned stomachs and the way they smiled. They seemed so happy, and how could they not be? They were the epitome of beautiful.

My obsession with achieving this idealized body type led me to googling each Angel’s BMI,measurements and diet. I spent time standing in front of the mirror pinching my stomach, scrutinizing the gap between my thighs, and measuring my hips, chest, and waist.

Like many girls, all I wanted was to be just as beautiful as them.

While I went on to develop anorexia nervosa, a mental health disorder which caused me to become obsessed with calorie counting and led me to becoming dangerously underweight, I had also fallen to the cultural epidemic of beauty sickness.

Beauty sickness, a term coined by Northwestern University psychology professor and author of Beauty Sick: 16

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How The Cultural Obsession with Appearance Hurts Girls and Women Renee Engeln, occurs when people spend so much time or emotional energy on how they look that they no longer have enough energy to focus on things that matter to them.

“Many women I talk to feel that these thoughts on image are taking away their power and ability to fight the battles they want to be fighting because they are too busy battling their own body,” says Professor Engeln whose research focuses on the social forces that affect how women look at their bodies and the ensuing behavioral outcomes. She points to the modeling industry as one of the causes of beauty sickness by selling a narrow beauty ideal.

According to the National Eating Disorder Association, buying into the message of the socially defined ideal body increases the likelihood of dieting and food restriction. While our current culture is disproportionately obsessed with food and weight, clinical eating disorders remain rare, affecting just three percent of the population. However, that

ideal

by Grace Wade

does not undermine how societal factors, like the media-driven thin body ideal, has caused the majority of women to engage in disordered patterns of eating.

“A lot of women do not have eating disorders, but they are dipping their toes in the water. They just call it being healthy or eating clean,” says Professor Engeln.“But not eating or becoming obsessed with every calorie you consume is not being healthy.”

Mary Penckofer, a 20-year-old neuroscience major at Northwestern on the pre-med track, was scouted to model in downtown Chicago at the age of 15. She worked for Factor Chosen, a modelling agency in Chicago, and modeled for brands such as Hollister before quitting at the age of 19. “When I stopped modelling it was because they told me that I had too athletic of a build.

They wanted me to lose five pounds,” said Penckofer, “I think a lot of people know there is pressure on models to be skinny, but they do not know that the industry thinks a 22-inch waist is too big.”

Hollister, a lifestyle brand designed to attract consumers between the ages

of 14 and 18, even photoshopped a photo of Penckofer to have her appear thinner. After seeing the original photo, Penckofer noticed how the company had edited her waist to appear smaller, her butt to be bigger and her legs to be thinner. “When they showed me the final photo, it was not recognizable at all.

You could not even tell it was me,” said Penckofer.

By displaying thin models, especially images of photoshopped models, retailers are promoting the message that thinner is better, even if the body type they place on a pedestal is not attainable.

Exposure to these images can increase body dissatisfaction, which can not only lead to eating disorders, but can also lead to perfectly healthy women believing they need to lose weight.

“I think it is really hard to grow up in a world where you feel like your body should be your number one project,” said Professor Engeln, who believes that the modelling industry exploits women’s self-hatred in order to sell products.

“If you are a girl and grow up in this culture you are taught the most powerful thing you could ever be is not president, it is beautiful,” said Professor Engeln. “A lot of women say that they want to look attractive for themselves, but how would they know? We live in a world that has never asked anything more from us than to focus on our appearance.”

As for me, and most other men and women who develop eating disorders, the desire to lose weight stemmed partially from a perfectionist attitude.

Though I received good grades in school and aspired to attend to a top-tier university, I felt I could not achieve ultimate perfection unless I appeared skinny. I believe a lot of women, not just those with eating disorders, can relate to the idea that somehow those five or ten pounds are what is keeping them from that one date, that one job or that one goal, whatever it may be. Yet, at the end of the day, does losing that weight truly change who you are as a person? I can say with confidence that the answer is no. At least for myself, no matter how low the number on the scale got, I never felt truly satisfied.

It is important to note that eating disorders are a bio-psycho-social disease that occur due to more factors than

just an obsession with appearance.

Biological factors such as genetics and psychological factors such as anxiety, depression and post-traumatic stress disorder all play a significant role in who develops an eating disorder.

Societal factors such as the media and the fashion industry merely act as environmental triggers. Yet this does not change the fact that the average woman feels dissatisfied with their body, and isn’t that bad enough?

During my battle with anorexia, focusing on how much I ate consumed a large portion of my life. Looking back at old notebooks from freshman year of high school, I am still surprised with the numbers littering the margins. Instead of taking notes in class, I would often count and recount the calories I had consumed for that day, terrified that somehow I would go over my allotted amount. I could no longer eat my favorite foods and would avoid going out with my friends out of fear that somehow food would be involved.

In an effort to prevent my friends and family from recognizing my unhealthy relationship with food and my deteriorating mental health, I grew distant and reclusive. As I lost more and more weight, my skin became dry, my hair fell out, and I lost my period. Even under layers of clothing, my skin was constantly cold and purple. I even grew lanugo, which is fine downy hair that appears on a person’s arms, stomach, and face as a last effort to keep the body insulated.

yet when I stood it would shoot up to 120 beats per minute, leaving me prone to fainting and blurry vision. It was everything but glamorous. I felt depressed, alone and out of control — not Victoria’s Secret beautiful.

On February 18th, 2013, I was admitted to the emergency room of the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia by a cardiologist who feared I could go into cardiac arrest at any moment. This was the day I decided to get better — that I decided I would no longer allow my eating disorder to affect the quality of my life or prevent me from achieving my goals. Eight days later, I was transferred to the Renfrew Center for Eating Disorders, and after two months of residential treatment, I was discharged.

While I spent eight weeks going through intensive therapy and nutrition programs, my journey to recovery was far from over. It would take me years before I could eat a bowl of mac and cheese without shaking or stop subconsciously counting the calories in everything I ate.

However, here I am, at a place where I feel strong and comfortable in my own skin. A place where I now appreciate my body for what it can do rather than how it looks. While I am by no means perfect in terms of self-love, I believe I have made strides in combating my own personal case of beauty sickness.

Those thoughts of appearance no longer take up more space than I want them to and I can now focus on what matters to me most — my friends and family, my personal goals and my mental health.

"We live in a world that has never asked anything more from us than to focus on our appearance."

In addition to being diagnosed with anorexia, anxiety and PTSD, I also developed osteopenia, which is bone density that is lower than normal, but not severe enough to be osteoporosis.

My resting heart rate dropped to 43 beats per minute as my body struggled to find the energy to pump blood,

And I think all women deserve that. Women have a lot of things to think and care about besides how they appear. Every chance we can steal back a moment from time spent on social media or in front of a mirror is a moment we can use to better ourselves, our relationships and the world around us.

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FIT TO

FIGHT Move over, fuzzy slippers. STITCH gives fitness a hardcore edge through fierce athleisure looks that scream confidence without sacrificing style

Models: Joanne Davenport and Haley Yamada Photo Shoot Directors: Nina Wescott and Sage Ressler Photographer: Luke Kleekamp Stylists: Emily Burns, Finn Hewes, Anya Joseph, Brianna Bilter, Elizabeth Zhang, Erica Cantor, Joyce D’Aprile, Sam Milstein, Sanchita Sen Clothing: All clothing from Revolve Clothing. Water bottle from S’well.

Special thanks to Title Boxing!

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the ethics of wellness Wellness is personal, but its commercialization continues to reach new heights. One STITCH writer examines the ethics behind the $3.7 trillion wellness industry, one as profit-focused as any

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By Jean Sanders

When people think of wellness, they usually think of happy, smiling people sitting on a hillside doing yoga. They think of people living healthy, balanced and wholesome lives. Maybe they think of exercise, nutrition, or a positive mindset. But usually, people do not think of a $3.7 trillion industry, which is the current value of the global wellness sector.

The wellness industry consists of everything from mindfulness meditation apps—which raked in $15 million in app store sales last year—to Gwyneth Paltrow’s one-day wellness summit which took place in Culver City, California, this summer.

At the summit, In Goop Health, attendees paid up to $1,500 for a day of wellnessthemed panels and, of course, a Sweetgreen salad or two.

According to the Global Wellness Institute, a nonprofit research and educational resource covering the wellness industry, the global wellness industry grew from $3.36 trillion in 2013 to $3.72 trillion in 2015. The industry consists

of different areas including workplace wellness, personalized medicine, nutrition and weight loss, fitness and beauty and anti aging, according to the institute.

Why does it matter that the wellness industry is worth so much? Personal well-being is an individualized and holistic concept that looks different for everyone. When a highlyindividualized concept becomes a trillion dollar industry, there will inevitably be some negative outcomes. The profit of wellness-related companies is directly related to the number of people who feel unwell and want to spend money to feel better.

“I think that when you buy a wellness product, you do not immediately think of the industry behind it. People just think, ‘Oh, I am going to buy this product just for me and to improve my mental health.’ There is just more behind it than we realize because most of those products are made by corporations and big companies,” says Northwestern freshman Matthew de Boer, a member of Active Minds, a group that utilizes student voices to change the conversation about mental health on campus.

That is not to say that there is anything inherently wrong with purchasing products that make you feel better. The problem comes when businesses purposely attempt to make people feel unwell, or exploit those who are not feeling well, to drive profits.

Let’s revisit Gwyneth Paltrow’s lifestyle enterprise Goop, which describes itself as having “cutting-edge wellness advice from doctors.” Truth in Advertising, an advertising watchdog group, has recently filed two complaints with California district attorneys against the website for making what they say are over 50 questionable claims about various health benefits offered by products that they advertise on their website. Some examples of these “benefits” include a $66 dollar Jade egg that a Goop article described as having the ability to “increase vaginal muscle tone, hormonal balance, and feminine energy in general,” a claim that a California gynecologist described as “the biggest load of garbage” in a Washington Post article.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, 18 percent of American adults have an anxiety disorder, and females are 60 percent more likely to experience an anxiety disorder.

Not only does Goop post articles perpetuating claims that have been rejected

by doctors-- such as the idea that bras cause breast cancer, or that the Epstein-Barr virus is the root of chronic illnesses-but they also prey on the anxiety they produce by these claims, and advertise products they claim will help. An example of one of these products is Body Vibes’ wearable stickers (which cost $30 for a pack of five), which Goop says can “alleviate physical tension and anxiety.”

The sometimes exploitative nature of the wellness industry also reveals itself through wellness and fitness influencers on Instagram. They may inspire some to eat healthier foods and exercise more regularly, but they also may manipulate those aspiring to look a certain way to buy the products that they sponsor. For example, Steph Elswood, known as @ healthychefsteph on Instagram, has almost 160,000 followers and posts transformation photos with captions that discuss how she used to have low-self esteem and body confidence issues. In a post this summer, she advertised a Facebook livestream she was hosting all about body confidence, which also happened to be sponsored by St. Tropez Tan, in which those who tuned into the stream could win a year’s supply of self-tanning products, promoting the message that being tan could solve a person’s body confidence issues.

When someone buys any of the products sponsored by socalled wellness gurus, the brand and the influencer both make money. But just how much does buying Flat Tummy Tea, or any of the other thousands of wellness products on Instagram, actually benefit consumers?

The booming wellness industry has helped many become more aware of the importance of health and wellness, and helped to make words like “self-care” become apart of regular conversation. There are certainly wellness-related products that help many people to feel better.

However, it is important to view the wellness sector for what it is: a moneymaking industry. Yes, trillion dollar industries can be effective in making people feel better, but they can also take advantage of those who are vulnerable. It is important to be an informed consumer, and part of that is recognizing the ways the wellness industry may be exploiting people rather than helping them.

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Ultimate relaxation reaches sophisticated heights through soft, romantic hues and silky fabrics Directed by Nina Wescott and Sage Ressler Photos by Melissa Cagan Styled by Michelle Lujan, Emily Burns, Finn Hewes, Anya Joseph, Brianna Bilter, Elizabeth Zhang, Erica Cantor, Joyce D’Aprile, Sam Milstein and Sanchita Sen Modeled by Brian Cook, Alexis Barber, Sharmain Siddiqui,2018 Jethro29 Au • JANUARY

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On Jethrol: Topping Rose white robe On Alexis: Victoria’s Secret red robe On Sharmain: Shang Tangkuyi gray robe

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On Brian: Geoffrey Beene black robe

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OR D ST W

LA

take it from me

By Emily Chaiet

The summer before my freshman year at Northwestern, I binge-watched the television series, “Greek.” The show follows a variety of college students partying, finding love and enjoying college with their best friends. As a high school graduate eager to escape the bubble of a suburb that I had always lived in, “Greek” was exactly what I needed. I pictured college exactly like it: making lifelong friendships, avoiding responsibilities and always having fun. But, there was a side to freshman year that “Greek” did not prepare me for. They never showed homesickness, they never showed how hard it is to make friends in a new place, and they never showed how much all of these changes affect someone’s mental health.

My freshman year was far from picture-perfect. I had the same friend group since middle school, yet now I was in the middle of a new city where I knew absolutely no one. I had forgotten what it was like to meet new people. How hard it was. As I jumped from friend group to friend group, I felt more and more like an outsider, like I had made the wrong choice attending a school where I knew absolutely no one. I wanted so badly to retreat back into my suburban bubble. My dream school was turning into a horrible nightmare that I could not wake up from. I was beginning to lose sight of my old self.

The worst part was that I felt a pressure to hide my unhappiness from my friends and family. I never wanted them to worry about me. I never wanted to stray away from the image of the perfect college girl who loves her school more than anything.

When my distant relatives would come up to me at Thanksgiving and ask how Northwestern was, I would say I was completely happy. That I loved my school and had thousands of friends. I felt like I was 36

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acting, like I was reading from a script and performing a show just to please everyone.

Just to tell people what they wanted to hear — even if it was not true.

But then I broke down. I could not force a smile, I could not keep lying to my home friends and telling them that I was having an amazing time. I called my best friend and I told her the truth, how I did not feel like I belonged, how I did not feel happy and how I felt like I never would.

She urged me to seek help and my parents and sister agreed. At first I refused.

I did not think my problems were a big deal, nor worthy of help. Eventually I realized that getting help was exactly what I needed to do. I nervously dialed my phone and made an appointment to speak with a CAPS therapist. I learned that everything I was experiencing was normal.

I have anxiety. It was hard for me to accept, until I realized that anxiety is not a problem. It is like the common cold, everyone gets it at some point, some people just get a worse case than others. Curing my “cold” certainly was not easy and it took a lot of work. At times I was frustrated, I felt like nothing was changing and there were points where it felt like it was just getting worse. It took patience and effort to overcome the worst of my anxiety.

It is still something I suffer with everyday, but it has made me stronger. Now that I have acknowledged it and accepted it, it cannot get to me anymore. My problem was never having anxiety, it was learning how to live with it.

No one wants to admit that their life isn’t perfect. When scrolling through Instagram and countless Snapchat stories freshman year, I only saw pictures of acquaintances from high school having the times of their lives. I felt like I was doing something wrong because I wasn’t happy,

but soon I realized that social media only tells one, side of the story. Everyone struggles, but no one is ever going to post pictures of themselves crying alone in their dorm room on their social media. No one wants to admit when college isn’t going as planned, and yet that is exactly why having anxiety and depression is such a stigma.

I went in to school with a different mindset this year. I stopped comparing my college experience to others’. I gave up on friendships that made me feel worse about myself. I started exercising not to look good but to feel good mentally and physically. Most importantly, I continued to seek the help that I needed. I did more of what made me happy and cut out the things that did not. I am not 100 percent okay all of the time, but I am doing better.

After my rough start, I feel stronger; like I can handle whatever problems the future holds.

My sophomore year is still far from perfect, but to be quite honest, I am okay with that. The real world is hard and scary, and I know that when I leave Northwestern there will be new monsters hiding in my closet. I know there will be more battles to face, but I have a tougher coat of armor. Face your problems, but do not face it alone. For all of you freshman, or just anyone struggling in college, the battle is just beginning, but do not let the losses deter you from reaching victory. I can tell you that the great moments like staying up late laughing with friends or just sitting and enjoying the scenery at the lakefill make it all worthwhile. You are not alone and you will make it through. Take it from me: the girl who never thought she would fit in, the girl who struggles with anxiety everyday, the girl who became stronger and learned how to find happiness.

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“

Character. Intelligence. Strength. Style.

That makes beauty.

“

– Diane von Furstenberg

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